rustedrobot

2002-03-22T17:03:00.000-05:00

One of the non-luxuries of renting an apartment is that I have to lug my laundry to the laundromat. Oh sure, it's only one block to the nearest one, but come on, I hate doing any more than what's required of me when it comes to such mundane crap. Anyway, since I flew in last night from New York, I had a bunch of laundry to do (translation: no more underwear), so I worked from home this morning. I head over to the laundromat, lugging what really feels like 678 pounds of clothes in one bag. Never multiple bags. Ever. That's asking way too much. So I do what all guys probably do - I stuff as many clothes as possible into ONE BAG. I mean, I am literally standing on top of the bag in order to fit two more towels in. And it doesn't help that somehow, as if by osmosis the sheets from the bed have magically appeared in the bag. I did not put them there. And there's only one other person living with me, so I know who did. Fair enough - I'll wash the sheets.

Anyway, so there I am, at the laundromat, struggling to actually pull the clothes out of my bag because - let's face it - it cannot possibly be stuffed any more fully than this, and I finally assign my clothes to 4 different washing machines. No problem. I walk home.

I come back 30 minutes later and I get one of those little transporter baskets to move my clothes from the washing machine to the dryer. I take load #1 over to dryer #1. I come back and as I am starting to unload load #2, this guy walks in with a bag, which looks as fully stuffed as mine was, by the way (confirming my theory - no male uses two bags), and places it into my basket. I look at him as if he is trying to steal my new cute puppy. He then says "are you using this?" and I reply "yes." He then takes the basket for himself and walks off. I am so stunned I have no idea what to do. After the shock wears off (10 seconds, really) I go grab another basket and I pass the guy who took mine. He looks at me as I grab a different, empty basket and he just smiles at me, really wide. What a dumb shit.

2002-03-20T21:37:00.000-05:00

Alright, so two things today from New York City to file in the "awkward" cabinet:

1. Part of the package when you register for this conference is that you get a free massage, as I mentioned before. I've never even received a professional massage in my life. Well, tonight the time came for the massage. So I went down to the hotel spa and worked out for about 45 minutes, then hopped in the shower and was then given a robe to get into for my massage. It's at this point I start to wonder: am I supposed to be totally naked under the robe? Or do I throw on a pair of shorts or something? What do people do? Do they get completely naked? So I am freaking out. What if I am supposed to be naked? Even worse, what if I decided not to wear anything and it was the wrong thing to do? I envisioned the lady shrieking in fear or something when she discovers that I have no clothes on. But I swear I've either seen movies or heard about people not wearing anything, so I am not sure what's normal and of course I'm a little perturbed about it (making it even more necessary to get the massage). What the HELL do I do here? Well, I'm always one to play it safe in an unknown situation, so I put on the shorts and decided to play it by, uh, ear. Well, the lady brings me into this darkened room with some kind of soothing, Indian-type music playing and she tells me she's going to leave the room and asks me to lay on the table, under the sheet, and get comfortable and she'll be back in a minute and she'll knock. OK, this tells me that it's postively OK to be naked. Wait - but is it? I take off my shorts and walk towards the table. Then I freeze - what if she freaks out? I walk back over and put my shorts back on. Now, I am not kidding you - I took off my shorts 4 times and then put them back on. Finally I settle and keep them on and get on the table. She comes back in. I get a massage. It was incredible. Not a word about the shorts or lack of shorts. Whew. I'm guessing it's ok to do either. But who knows?

2. Afterwards, I sit in the sauna. Then I sit in the steam room. This hotel spa is something else. Then I shower again, because I love showering. Everyone reading this can now confirm that I am completely insane. Anyway, I decide it's time for dinner and I go to the hotel restaurant and they seat me alone at a two person table. The restaurant is fairly dead since it's like 8pm so I'm glad I have some room - there's nobody within 50 feet of me, all around. Nice. I like my space. About ten minutes later, they escort this dude to his table and I'm not worried they'll seat him near me - hell, there's about 40 open tables all over the place. But wait - they're walking towards me! Maybe they'll seat him there......nope. Right next to me. I mean, no more than 4 feet away. How friggin' awkward is this? There's like 12 people in the restaurant, and they're ALL spread out, but these morons seat this guy about 4 feet from me. Did I look at them dirty? Was I rude? Impossible - I was just sitting there looking at the menu. Why are they doing this to me? It's like a bad movie. There's a casual glance every minute or so and complete silence, and I know the guy is wondering the same thing. What the hell? Anyway, 4 feet from each other, we order (same thing - cilantro chicken), we eat, we pay, we leave. Not a single word spoken. I was tempted to ask him "hey, why the hell did they put you so close to me?" But I didn't. I'd rather be struck with a metal shovel in the shins than start a conversation with a stranger.

Madison Square Garden is very cool. Too bad the Rangers and Canucks are such boring teams. No hitting at all. Good god. But a very cool place to watch a hockey game. Back to Boston tomorrow. Who wants to pick me up at the airport?

2002-03-19T17:47:00.000-05:00

Just looked out the window again. I can't stop. The people really do look like ants.

2002-03-19T17:45:00.000-05:00

Oh yeah, conferences make me laugh. It's basically a bunch of white guys in their 30s and 40s (and some women) sitting around, passing business cards to each other, claiming there's business to be done and talking up a good game. Sometimes it makes me laugh. I have no doubt that some work actually gets done from time to time, but glancing around looking at all these people, I really believe that only half of them are giving their undivided attention to what's going on. Me, I take them somewhat seriously, but I get the most enjoyment out of eavesdropping on other people's conversations and wondering "will anything really ever come of these conversations?" Most of the people who come by to talk to us (Ask Jeeves) know about us and tell us about their kids using the site or something and mention in passing that they like us, then they collect all of the free crap we have out on the table - which is really what they are there for - and scoot along to the next table with free crap. Then there was this women who was a walking "me" machine. She literally came over and just talked about herself and everything she's done for the past 10 years and all the work she's doing. She gave us her big postcard, told us to list her site first in our search results (yeah right........there's no such thing as being the top result unless you pay) and that she's the best at this and that. I could barely contain myself! Good times.

2002-03-19T17:37:00.000-05:00

Why, hello there, peeps. I am writing this from the 29th floor of The Hilton in New York City. It's where I've called home since Sunday night, when I flew here in what I think was the worst turbulence I've ever experienced in an airplane. Thank god it's only an hour flight. This hotel is seriously nice. Serious. It's about 2 blocks from Times Sqaure and it's all marble and nice and shit. It's hard to believe I'm actually staying here, in fact, being so used to Motel 6's and low budget hotels (a result of running your own record label). And check this out - because I am registered to this conference here, I get a free head, neck and back massage, which I have scheduled for Wednesday at 7pm. They have a beautiful gym and spa here, too. Even being on the 29th floor of a hotel, though, it's still hard to truly explain how majestic this city really is. I always said that I could never live in NYC, but I love visiting. The more I think about it, though, the more I believe I wouldn't mind living here at all for a while. I just wonder if I'd get sick of the constant......movement. I do have this other dream about living in a house with land, a family dogs, DirectTV, a finished basement, and other stuff, too. I dunno. Anyway, I'm trying to get out and do stuff, but last night found me pretty tired and in my room by about 8:30, munching on the most enormous turkey sandwich I have ever laid eyes on. Tonight, however, I am about to take my virgin voyage over to Madison Sqaure Garden to watch the New York Rangers play the Vancouver Canucks. Should be pretty cool.....

2002-03-16T11:09:00.000-05:00

I'm lazy today and not paying any attention to Blog because I have my new baseball game for the computer. I am a nerd. So in place of silly thoughts, I offer you two excellent links:

1. This, while slightly rotten, still makes me smile.

2. This is pure genius.

2002-03-13T08:38:00.000-05:00

When I think about it, my niece Olivia is so cute that it's really not even fair to all the other 2 year-olds in the world. Click the photo if you want to see it a little bigger....

2002-03-11T17:56:00.000-05:00

So I was driving home on Saturday and suddenly this very impressive, loud noise started to eminate from my vehicle upon turns and whenever I hit bumps. It will be brought in for service tomorrow. Here's what I am thinking: if this is a BIG repair of any kind, then I may have to think about a new car. I am 4,000 miles away from my warranty running out, and this would be the second major repair in three months, so that's not a good sign. Up until 3 months ago, I had no problems with the car at all. Plus, it only has 52,000 miles on it and it's a 1996, so I might even get a good trade-in value.

Every now and then, my LaunchCast (online, personalized radio player) slips in a tune that I never expressed any feeling for one way or another. Today it was the new Alanis Morrisette song, called "Hands Clean." And I'll be damned, but it's yet another good song from her. My friend and co-worker Clay says that I am in love with her, but I am so not in love with her. She looks like a horse. Wait, do I sound like I'm 14 years old? OK, like, anyway, I have this theory about music, and here it is: There are some songs that just sound so great on the radio, but only on the radio, you know? For example, "More Than A Feeling" by Boston is a song that was just built for the radio. "Don't Fear The Reaper," by Blue Oyster Cult is another. But I'd never actually buy the CDs. Well, Morrisette's new songs is one of those radio songs. Here's another one for you: remember "Midnight Blue" by Lou Gramm? He's the ex-lead singer of Foreigner. Yes, Foreigner. "Midnight Blue" came out when I was wearing goofy button-down shirts with weird patterns on them to high school in 1987, but that was a great radio song. Oh wait - this isn't one of those radio songs, but since I mentioned Foreigner I have to say that "Dirty White Boy" is one of the best songs of the 1980s. Even better, I've seen The Bottle Rockets cover it a couple times and of course it freakin' rules.

I'm heading back down to New York City next week for a conference. Maybe this time I'll hit Ground Zero. I watched the "9-11" special last night and it was tastefully done and gripping to watch. Hard to believe they had cameras inside shooting the whole thing. Clearly the most disturbing part was the loud crashes they were hearing outside - the people who were jumping. That made me cringe.

2002-03-10T10:04:00.000-05:00

Sometimes the most bizarre scenarios enter my head. Exhibit A: this morning I am at the gym and I am on the eliptical machine (the one that's sort of a combination between a treadmill and a cross-country ski thing) and I am listening to the Beastie Boys "Paul's Boutique" on my Discman, right? Now, I should preface this by saying that this particular album is quite high on the funky meter and is easily one of the best albums the 1980s had to offer. So anyway, there I am on the eliptical machine and I'm grooving, and I'm running, and I'm swinging my arms all about, and it occurs to me - what if everyone in the gym could hear the music I was listening to and just suddenly - out of nowhere - all got together and started this incredibly choreographed dance routine a la Britney Spears to one of those Beastie Boys songs? My god. I could barely keep myself from laughing right there. I mean, the things that I think of......ridiculous.

Today we're heading downtown to see the theatrical version of "The Graduate" with Kathleen Turner, Jason Biggs, and Alicia Silverstone. I have heard that Kathleen Turner gets naked in this play. Why can't it be 1982 instead of 2002, though? That's as risque as I'll get on this blog.

2002-03-08T17:23:00.000-05:00

So......it is Friday, and that's quite exciting. My girlfriend has gone off with some friends for the evening, so here are my choices:

-Watch Boston Bruins vs. Atlanta Thrashers in hockey.

-Continue reading Exploding, one of the best books I've ever read about the music buisness. Written by Stan Cornyn, who spent about 35 years as one of the higher-ups at Warner Bros., "Exploding," for the most part, isn't a gossipy tell-all about what bands threw large appliances out of hotel windows or who was sleeping with who. It's a well-written, witty and intelligent account of the major players in the boardrooms through the years at the company, and it's fascinating. Cornyn takes us from the early 1900s, when the brothers Warner hatched the idea, all the way into the late 1990s, when MUSIC didn't matter anymore, and shareholder value did. I can identify with that frustration, let me tell you. I mean, my record label never had to answer to shareholders, but once we got our supposed pot of gold (that being a distribution deal with Warner Brothers), I found out real quickly how much music really doesn't mean a damn thing anymore. I cannot remember a time in my life when I've been so frustrated. Oh, there was one time I was more frustrated, when I tried to donate my 1996 Dodge Colt (what a hunk of shit that was), but I am getting off track. Anyway, for those of you who love a good biography, this one will keep you up at night.

-Another option is to take a bath. Yes, I like baths. Whenever I am traveling for work, I try and get a bath in at the hotel to soothe the nerves and calm the senses of a hectic day on the road. Can't explain it and there's nothing wrong with it. What I really want when I grow up is a jacuzzi. Now yer talking.

Truth be told, I'll probably do all of these tonight. Or maybe not. Whatever. First things first - dinner.

2002-03-05T17:40:00.000-05:00

There was this conference in the city today, so I didn't have to drive to work. What a nice break from the daily commute. I was able to strap on the headphones and just walk and take the subway. Very nice. I listened to The Bottle Rockets "Brand New Year", which just gets better and better each time I listen to it. I really didn't like it at first, but now I think it's just as good as any of their albums. Of course, taking the subway does have it's disadvantages - smelly people (and there were a few) and you're at the whim of all the starts and stops, which sometimes makes me feel a little motion sick. The old adage "the grass is always greener on the other side" is so true. In all aspects of life, this statement is true. Except if you've been in jail, in which case I suspect it's not true, unless you're a hardened criminal who's used to and cannot live without "the system," and I know there's plenty of those types out there. How the hell did I get from taking the subway to bring in jail?

At this conference I was at today, I met the guy who does the The Lycos 50, which is a great pop-culture reference page to see what internet surfers are searching for these days. I've been reading this for a couple of years now and I love the list (occasionally have used it for work purposes, too) so it was cool to meet the guy. Turns out he'd been in the music business before, just like me, so we had a good, long conversation about that and bands that we like, etc. Good stuff.

Fantasy baseball is starting soon and I cannot wait. Even though the baseball season ended on November 6th this year, it still feels like it's been years.

2002-03-03T12:49:00.000-05:00

I was watching the news a few nights ago and there was a story that was rather incredible. I have found out that if you use the Massachusetts Turnpike to get to work (which I do), you are eligible to be reimbursed for gas. Amazing. Here's how it works (or something): the tolls you pay on the turnpike are not taxed by the state, but the gas that you pay for to use the road is taxed, so by traveling and using the turnpike, you are eligible to receive some sort of compensation. Of course, you have to save ALL of your gas receipts and ALL of your turnpike recieipts, but still they said you could get back as much as $200-300 bucks. Maybe I'll try it. I save all my receipts anyway. I am an anal bookeeper when it comes to my personal finances. Quicken saved my life back in 1998.

I've been doing this blog for a couple of months now and I'm mad at myself for not mentioning to you the Tarbox Ramblers, who have been entertaining me now for four years running. They play just about every Saturday night at one Boston's best bars, The Burren, and every single time they're just excellent. Saw them again last night and it was one of the better ones. Keep on keepin' on.....

I'm getting bored with my car. This picture below is not my actual car, but it's the same year and style. Mine's tan. Every two years or so, I just get flat bored with my car and I want one I inevitably cannot afford. Just ride it out, Jeffo......

2002-03-02T18:00:00.000-05:00

Shower time today: 27 minutes.

2002-03-02T12:50:00.000-05:00

Okay all. I was finally able to figure out how to use Blogger after some gentle frustration. Most of the site is the same except for some small moving-around of things and stuff.

We'll see how this goes for a while.

2002-03-02T10:36:00.000-05:00

Ahhhh, new month. Look at all the space. So anyway, I received my Red Sox tickets in the mail - I got totally hosed. I'm sitting way the hell in the outfield when I ordered infield seats and checked the box that stated that if they didn't have infield seats to not give me any tickets. But I got them anyway. Such is life. I'll still go.

I'm switching over to Blogger, so if the site looks messed up or whatever,
don't panic (like all 2 of you will panic....). I'll actually be the one in a panic, probably.