The Soap Box

Did You See That?

2008-03-18T17:35:00.019-05:00

Um, did you guys see General Hospital today? There were so many random occurrences that I thought I would never see. I'm still in shock and looking for confirmation that they did in fact happen.

First, Patrick Drake actually said he was "glad" he was the father of Robin's baby.

Excuse me?

Mr. I-Never-Want-Children-Because-Bros-Come-Before-Hoes-Grunt-Grunt-Scratch-Scratch?

Even stranger than that, I think I saw him and Robin getting along and get this, smiling at one another. It's been so long since I've seen these two be anything even close to civil to one another that I forgot what it looked like.

Oh now I remember.

It's adorable.

Because the-powers-that-be knew they couldn't completely win back my Patrick love with that one move, they took it a step further. They let him call Carly an "ignorant bitch"!!!!!!

Be still my heart!

Okay, so technically it was Claudia, but she's being played by Carly's original portrayer Sarah Brown, the same actress responsible for Cottage Hell so I'll take it.

It would've been nice (though admittedly unprofessional) if he had said this to the patient's face. However, he did defend Robin's HIV status to Carly, I mean Claudia. This is the second time in a month Patrick has semi stood up to Carly over Robin.

Yes dear, I too was shocked.

I know, I know Patrick technically yelled at Claudia, but once a Carly, always a Carly so I'll take it.

I'm not quite ready to write "I heart Patrick Drake" on my T-shirt yet, but close.

Since we can never seem to escape Carly, we'll continue with the Carly theme.

For the first time in a long time, I was happy to see Carly on my screen because she didn't utter a single word through the entire show. Carly's soul (?) silently hung out at Jake's with Jason while her body was rescued by Ric.

Yes, that's right. Ric Lansing. I know the execs like to write him as the bad guy, but someone out in L.A. has apparently wised up and decided that him fighting for redemption would be a far more interesting story.

Bless you, sir. Bless you.

Last, but certainly not least we were treated to Sonny getting his ass royally kicked by Johnny.

I'm not advocating the gratuitous violence on this show in the slightest; however, after the crap Sonny has put Johnny through for something he didn't even do, I thought it was the least he deserved. I am very well aware this will spark the next great mob war, but it's so rare that we Sonny get his that I'll ignore that fact for now and watch the Sonny ass-kicking on a loop. Should anyone be so inclined, I think it's a hilarious Youtube video waiting to happen.

Caps provided by Laurie.

Just Saying - two weeks edition

2008-03-17T10:19:00.017-05:00

General Hospital fans watched a literal cliffhanger when Diego’s car was left hanging over the edge of a bridge. After Jason pulled Elizabeth from the wreckage, he fell backward, knocking himself unconscious and severely damaging his hands. I’m still not sure how he accomplished that last one but whatevs.

Meanwhile, Sam was left to plummet to her death……

......or was she?

The Everyday Hero managed to grab hold of the railing (even though it was a totally impossible feat) and hang on until Lucky came to her aid. That’s right, a wounded Lucky Spencer managed to crawl over to the edge and pull his ex to safety……

…with one arm……

..….all while looking gorgeous.

Who’s the hero now beeyotch?

P.S. - Michael Conforti, I totally heart you for letting Lucky be the hero for once. God knows now that the strike’s over, it’ll be another decade before I see that again.

While the quartet awaited help on the bridge, Diego escaped, but Maxie and Spinelli were hot on his trail, that is, until they hit a minor snag. Maxie managed to get herself stuck in a sewer grate, which while amusing, was totally unbelievable. Why you ask. Simple. Kirsten Storms is tiny and there’s no way she was unable to shimmy through those bars.

Kirsten, I say this with love: Please eat a muffin. Or two.

Being as thin as that fake metal pole is not in, I don’t care what the crazy fashionistas are saying.

When the young sleuths escaped, they tracked Diego to a warehouse on the wharf. Spinelli had an unfortunate encounter with chloroform, so Maxie led the way and ran straight into Diego. She managed to escape from the psycho who resumed his earlier scuffle with Nikolas. Alcazar’s son slipped and accidentally hung himself, which I thought was a just ending.

Nikolas and Maxie lost a lot from this whole mess so it was fitting that they were there in the end and I’m glad neither were responsible for killing the text message killer.

Back at the hospital, Jason received news that had mobsters everywhere rejoicing: he could lose the use of his deadly hands. Elizabeth kept close watch on him, which of course Carly didn’t like. A cat fight ensued and Epiphany broke it up. Now I have a love/hate relationship with this women, but in moments like these, she becomes my best friend:

Epiphany: I need you on 10.
Carly: We're not done yet.
Epiphany: I said I needed Nurse Webber. You will get out of her way and let her do her job.
Carly: You don't need to be pushy.
Epiphany: I said I needed Nurse Webber on the 10th floor. You will get out of her way or, heart attack or not, I will turn you upside down and mop this floor with your hair.

Anyone who stands up to Carly is alright in my book.

Sam also landed herself back in the hospital and Lucky serendipitously found some new leads on her hit-and-run. He watched Monica and Tracy’s very public blow up in the middle of the hospital and now knows she was driving the night of the accident. He also overheard Jason and Liz discussing the possibility that she hit Sam. Poor Lucky confronted them and now he’s trying to keep it covered up. Sam overhead Lucky and Elizabeth’s discussion which was the cherry on the top of her day. Not only could she not be released from the hospital, but her cousin collapsed from a brain tumor and she lost her job at Everyday Heroes. Oh and let’s not forget she’s also under the suspiciously watchful eye of Dr. Devlin, who by the way, is in cahoots with Jerry Jax.

I knew that guy was creepy!

This sucks though because one of Patrick’s friends is now tied to the mob and Dr. Drake’s lack of mob connections was one of his best characteristics. That’s clearly going out the window now because he was even defending Jason against Cruz (he‘s still alive??!!).

Kind of makes you miss Pete Martinez doesn’t it?

Adolescent, bachelor behavior I could deal with. Psycho who lives for illicit dealings, not so much.
I still don’t have Devlin completely figured out, but I don’t have to. He’s clearly bad news. He’s paying way too much attention to the Cassadines and maybe we’ll see why later. I would love to get Monica off the hook so my theory is Devlin hit Sam and feels guilty about it now. I’m not sure about his connection to Nikolas though.

The Dark Prince didn’t take Devlin’s secret drug and refused surgery so he eventually collapsed. He was rushed to surgery where he flatlined and tried to follow Emily to the other side. They met in their engagement party attire (they’re getting a lot of mileage out of that dress). Emily attempted to convince Nikolas that he needed to fight for his son, who apparently has been a victim of SORAS.

However, I’m not completely positive because I can't remember the last time we saw Spencer on screen, so maybe it really has been that long.

Emily said goodbye to her prince, but you know, after the gazillionth time, it’s starting to lose it’s affect. Would it be too much to get some kind of disclaimer telling me if this is the last, last time they’ll see each other or the last, last, last time?

After waking up, Nikolas threw a hissy fit in the OR and the surgery was canned. Mr. Cassadine manages to get enough strength to walk around the hospital and meet Devlin in a dark basement where he scores some illegal pills that will “prolong” his condition.

::Sigh::

If we do another pain pill addiction storyline with Lucky’s brother, I will probably scream. Secondly, has it occurred to anyone that maybe, just maybe the unknown drug Jerry injected into Nikolas at this same time last year, was the cause of this tumor and perhaps tossing more unknown drugs into his system may not be the best idea?

No?

Well, I’m just throwing it out there for you.

A casualty in Nikolas’ outrage was Robin. She was kicked in the stomach which sent Patrick into panic mode. It’s been interesting watching him cope with the idea of fatherhood during this last week. A highlight for me was his chat with Elizabeth.

That relationship has always been one-sided because Elizabeth was always dumping her problems on Patrick so this pep talk was a long time coming. By the end of the week, Patrick and Robin admitted to still loving each other, but as far as Robin was concerned, nothing had changed. That’s progress I guess.

Another child in danger was Michael who was still hiding out at Peg’s and his parents were still concerned about his whereabouts. Maxie and Spinelli tried to help Jason find Michael and I was just as impressed with Ms. Jones’ detective skills as the slacker hacker was. I think it would actually be kind of cool if Maxie went into this P.I. thing. It’d be a nice little tribute to her parents, don’t you think?

I want to compliment the two GH writers for balancing out the scenes between this couple. You get the incredibly sweet moments like the two of them visiting Georgie’s grave on her birthday mixed in with the silliness of Spinelli losing his clothes. Who knew that’s what was under those baggy clothes? Color me impressed.

When Michael still didn’t turn up, Sonny continued pressuring the Zaccharas to return his son and he actually took his frustrations out on Jason. Sorry, but for someone who’s supposed to think so highly of Jason, Sonny treated him like crap by accusing him of getting injured on purpose. I try to not completely despise any character, but good Lord it’s hard to like that guy when he’s constantly acting like a spoiled child who didn’t get what they wanted. Dude needs to learn to be appreciative. For example, be thankful that Kate forgave you for sleeping with Claudia.

Speaking of the newest mobster in town, Claudia attempted to make deals right and left this week to try and get her brother back. This included going to Ric and bargaining for his waterfront properties. Ric rejected her offer because he’s trying to turn over a new leaf, etc. etc., and I really hope it sticks. I’m sure now that the strike’s over, he’s going to return to being the villain, but I applaud the interim staff for attempting to clean up the mess that is Ric and Alexis’ relationship. Ric handed his position as DA back over to Alexis and she was surprised to say the least. I choose to ignore the unrealistic nature of passing a job back and forth like a baton because I want these two to make up. I’ll take anything that can be counted as baby steps towards reconciling a situation that was really screwed up.

Like I said, I’m sure this optimistic outlook will be short lived because Ric found Mariana down on the docks with a dead Randy. Meanwhile, at the same time in the same place, we had Michael confessing to Carly, Claudia exchanging shipping lanes with Sonny in return for Johnny and Trevor putting a hit on Claudia. Of course all these people were in the same location of course, the execs had an excuse to blow something up again.

This time the bomb wasn’t exactly the work of another mobster. Spinelli accidentally activated the explosive devices Diego planted and we’ll have to wait for Monday to see who survives the wreckage.

I realized this post was slightly more positive than usual, but no worries. With the writers’ strike over I’m sure I’ll be back to my overly critical self in no time. With the old team at the helm, the show will likely return to the shipwreck we all know and love to hate.

I’m just saying.

Screen caps courtesy of Clarissa.

Just Saying - February Sweeps

2008-03-02T22:41:00.012-06:00

So apparently when I said it would be a couple days, I clearly meant a couple of weeks. You know how it is when your evil twin who slept with your best friend’s father and was brutally murdered by the mayor’s crazy grandmother returns from the dead ……you have a lot of catching up to do.

I too have a lot to catching up to do as far as General Hospital is concerned so let’s get to it.

First of all, I was having a hard time remembering this was a sweeps month considering there was no giant catastrophe involving the entire cast as there have been during recent Februaries (MetroCourt hostage crisis, epidemic, Port Charles Hotel fire, etc). However, it was like all other sweep months in one respect - it kicked off with another flippin' pointless death.

Coop was found dead from an apparent suicide by hanging. Everyone, but Maxie, was convinced that he was guilty of being the text message killer and the drive to clear her boyfriend’s name led to an unlikely partnership between her and Spinelli. I’ve really been enjoying their scenes, probably because they are two young talented actors and because Kirsten Storms is a chemistry machine. I’ve really liked all of her pairings, from Matt Marraccini, to Jason Cook all the way back to her Disney channel days with Gregory Smith.

Yeah, I took it there.

Something that irks me, however, is the-powers-that-be are hitting some nerves with their storytelling. For example, Maxie’s already kissed Spinelli and poor Georgie spent months with him and got nowhere near first base. Granted, this kiss was a diversion, but I’m still angry that the writers gave Georgie yet another unrequited love when I’m convinced they already knew she was on her way out. Secondly, while the black and white flashbacks are cute, they’re awfully reminiscent of Dillon’s movie daydreams with Georgie.I adored those two and trying to redo that magic with this new soon-to-be couple (I'm assuming), doesn’t sit well with me. I think it’s still a little soon.

Anywhos, the spunky Jones girl was correct and unfortunately for Sam, the text message killer was still on the loose, clearly one more way karma was waiting to bite her in the butt. It all started when Liz told Lucky all of the nasty things the ex(?) con woman pulled in the name of revenge against Jason and Liz. This led to Lucky terminating his newfound relationship and while I was glad to see the Spencer boy stand up for himself, I hated to see him play the fool again.

I guess it had to be done to set up a story that I, for one, did not foresee.

Sam once again received threatening texts and when she called Lucky for help, he accused her of lying. Apparently for adults, the story of “Peter and the Wolf” features a serial killer instead of a furry animal. The TMK attacked Sam and their scuffle lands them on the outskirts of town during a rainstorm because you know, execs will find any reason to get Kelly Monaco soaking wet.

I know Sam’s supposed to be crafty and whatnot, but after her numerous assaults, don’t you think she would have learned to wear more sensible shoes? The "everyday hero" escaped the killer only to be hit by a car (talk about bad luck) and the driver could be Monica, Liz or Carly. I honestly never saw this coming and I was so excited to be surprised by something; however, I just wished the TMK storyline had been resolved before we kicked off the who-hit-Sam mystery.

While Sam was in the hospital recovering, Spinelli and Maxie decided Logan was the real killer and Lulu found a lot of incriminating evidence to support their theory. Logan tried to explain, but when Johnny showed up, he freaked and grabbed Lulu who ended up knocking him in the head with a wrench. Now soldier boy is in a coma and oh, and by the way, not the killer. I actually like the coma angle because it’s very soapy and nearly killing someone ties her back to her mother.

TMK is still on the loose and while the police start looking for him, he’s busy waiting for Sam at her apartment. Ladies and gentleman, the surprise of the month - the text message killer is Diego Alcazar!!!??!!!
I. Was. Floored.

There were no words for that little twist. Actually, there were words. I think it was something like “What the hell?” ...... repeated many times.

I actually liked this move for a couple of reasons. One, it’s totally soapy. Two, GH has been really bad about killing people with no signs of bringing them back. This gives me hope that they have not forgotten this little trick and in the future, some of these ridiculous deaths will be undone. For example, Lorenzo. I’ve always thought his return was possible because the audience never saw the death. Now that they revived Diego, a death we clearly saw, I know it’s totally doable. Third, I feel justified that Diego didn’t die because I always thought it was lame that he went out with one shot.

It was interesting the way he explained his motives and stuff, but Georgie’s death didn’t sit well with me. Diego said Georgie took Maxie’s place and he “almost” felt bad about her demise. Okay, that makes no sense.

Yes, I do know what soap I’m watching, but I expected a better explanation.

Diego couldn’t have mistaken Georgie for her sister because she was out in the open and clearly doesn’t look like Maxie. Secondly, Georgie stood up for Diego a lot and he decided to repay her by killing her? Um, no.

Diego’s scheme escalated when he took Sam and Elizabeth (wrong place, wrong time) on a ride that resulted in the car crashing and hanging over a bridge. Lucky showed up and before he can help, Diego shot him.

For the love of God, can Lucky ever NOT get shot and maybe be the hero for once?

Of course not, because here comes Jason to save the day.

P.S. - lame CGI. Go back to the-horrible-spinoff-that-shall-not-be-named and stay there.

Speaking of TMK victims, Emily continued hanging around Nikolas this month and she has become less perky about her posthumous state. During a seizure, Nikolas was able to see who really killed Emily, but to complete the memory, he had to go to Wyndermere where he and Emily relived their horrific engagement evening. It was really sad and I’m not sure dragging this out and having these two have to part again made for an entertaining storyline. I really do hope that these two get a better send off.

Even though Nikolas has the answer to who killed Emily, he still has his tumor because he’s a Cassadine and they can never be happy. Dr. Devlin put himself on this case and is pushing the prince to agree to an experimental treatment as long as he doesn’t tell anyone.

Oh this is going to end well.

I really don’t like this guy. He keeps yacking at Robin about being afraid to try an experimental drug which, by the way, is ridiculous.

Let’s review:

Robin and Patrick are always drug therapy vs. surgery. Robin has used experimental therapies in the past (i.e. Jason) so why are they suddenly making her all anti-experimental drugs? Is there a maximum on the number of GH doctors allowed to use experimental drugs? Either way, this dude is so shady and I was super excited to see him freak at the sight of Jerry.

No one screams shady quite like Jerry Jax and I’m glad to see my skepticism of the new doc is justified. Seriously, do they hire just anybody at this hospital? Have they ever heard of a background check?

Now that we’ve covered the death, why don’t we switch over to the life?

Robin found out she was pregnant and spilled the beans to Patrick and I have already discussed how much I hated her lie. Well, obviously no one cares about my feelings because the lie continued. Someone who did comment on the pregnancy was Nadine and for the first time I was thankful for Aunt Raylene. The new nurse’s ramblings gave Scrubs fans the morning after scene they were deprived of after the baby’s conception and I think it was a nice flashback.

Something that really bothered me about the pregnancy (in addition to everything else) was that none of Robin’s family got any kind of recognition scene. Maxie came to the hospital asking for help a couple of times and never acknowledged the baby. I thought maybe they didn’t know, until Mac mentioned the baby matter-of-factly. I’m really disappointed we didn’t get any happy “Uncle Mac, I’m pregnant” scenes. It was during the one Robin/Mac scene that’s allotted for each sweeps period, Patrick overheard Robin mention the baby’s father and things started to fall into place for him.

February was a good month Patrick’s character because I started to remember why I used to like him. The biggest thing was him was standing up to Carly. I have been dying for that moment and here’s what happened:

Jax: Oh. So who -- who do we congratulate, then?
Patrick: Robin went to a sperm bank, actually.
Carly: Couldn't find a real one?
Jax: You know --
Patrick: It was very brave and independent of her......

Sure, it wasn’t as aggressive as I would have liked, but considering I thought that day would never come, I’ll take it. Taking a slight tangent ......... I have to say I am so irritated that these women have to share their pregnancies at the same time as one another. You know this is going to end badly. At best, this feud is now going to continue through their children, at worst, someone is going to think a baby swap/stealing storyline will be ingenious.

FYI, it’s not, so don’t even try it. That means you, Mr. Head Writer.

Anyway, let’s try and refocus on the pretty.

That’s better.

So Patrick continued speaking highly of Robin to her and to others, did nice things for patients and gave her presents. I thought it was all sweet, but then I later realized that some of the gestures were probably him trying to get her to admit the truth about the baby. I’m not thrilled about the passive aggressive manner, but the truth is now out there and I am beyond relieved that there was no third party involved with this reveal. It was Patrick and Robin, one on one and I am so thankful that this lie did not last for months. Considering how bad this story was messed up, I’m surprised, but happy to see something go semi-right.

Another shock for me was seeing Luke reappear so soon and he’s probably rethinking the intelligence of that plan right about now since the Q’s are at war with one another. Tracy slapped Monica with a malpractice suit and Monica kicked Tracy out of HER house (the one Alan gave to her). Tracy has taken off the gloves and decided she doesn’t want Luke back and I’ve enjoyed watching her regain her spunk. Her fierceness matches her new fierce haircut. Luke doesn’t know the meaning of the word quit and he makeup to Tracy by discovering that Monica’s been becoming/is an alcoholic. It’s entirely possible she hit Sam in her drunken state and while I’m glad to see her get a storyline, I hate that it puts her in such a negative light. It could be worse I guess. She could be a track-suit wearing apparition slash manifestation of Tracy’s conscience.

Over on the docks in mobland, Claudia Z hit Port Charles. In case you missed it, the character’s being played by Carly's original portrayer, Sarah Brown. I thought her trips down memory lane were cute.........

......and I was prepared to like her for the simple fact that she bullies "Trevors," but now I'm not so sure. There was no buildup to her and Sonny jumping in the sack (wasted opportunity I say) and I hate that their now turning her into another woman scorned. I’m concerned she’s quickly going to turn into (or back into ?) another Carly and I’m pretty sure I can only stand one of her.

As I mentioned, Carly is pregnant, which I think is horrible idea since she can't handle the children she already has. Michael is taking after his father and decided to buy a gun to protect his family. The mini mobster accidentally shot Kate and then skipped town to avoid punishment. In my opinion, it would have been more dramatic if he shot Carly and endangered the baby, but whatevs. It still caused sufficient drama with Sonny who has gone off on a tirade against the Zaccharas who are actually innocent.

Ric would typically be in the middle of all of this, but he went on a journey to find himself and I thought that meant he would get a break from all the mob craziness, but I was wrong.

That’s what I get for thinking I guess.

While away, Ric met a woman named Marianna (recast twice in one month) who he is falling for, but it turns out she’s working for Trevor. Can this guy ever get a break? I really want him to get past all this brother/father angst so why can’t we give Ric some mental illness and let him have a clean slate ? The malfunction in Ric‘s brain could be operated on by Patrick, preferable shirtless, and that could be your whole episode. Toss in a little gratuitous shirtless Lucky and you could call it a day. Now that's my idea of an ideal sweeps month.

I'm just saying.

Thanks to Clarissa and Kim for caps.

The Comeback

2008-02-18T16:56:00.003-06:00

Hey all. Miss me? Now that the strike's officially over, I can once again pick up my pen, I mean my keyboard, and share my daytime rants with the world.

Truthfully, I absolutely support the writers, but my absence was not my version of the strike beard. It was actually due to this insane wave of busyness that decided February would be a nice time to crash my life.

Anywhoozle, look for my thoughts on General Hospital's sweeps in the upcoming days and thanks to all of you how have continued to hang around my humble little corner of the Web.

Cynic out!

Baby Blues Part III

2008-01-30T20:14:00.000-06:00

The way this storyline is going, this is probably going to become a weekly post.

Let me start off by saying that Kimberly McCullough and Jason Thompson rock my socks off. In the short time that Robin and Patrick were given today to digest the concept that Robin is pregnant, those actors said so much. The emotions were completely palatable. I found their scenes quite griping, I think because in recent soap breakups, the regret seems onesided (see JaSam/LnL2 debacle).

I was alright with the fact that Robin blurted out the news to Patrick because it's believable and it was so nice to see Patrick being loving and less of an ass. I was actually enjoying myself....
.....and then the peanut gallery walked in.

I get the added drama of an audience, but Kelly and the Stan fill in would have been sufficient. The writers think it's cute shoving all these Night Shit (that's what I said) characters down my throat and I have news for them, it's not. If I was considering watching that crap spin-off, this would totally turn me off to that idea. Patrick and Robin are two legacy characters that I care about with a once-in-a-lifetime story to tell, so why is that they (especially Robin) are getting shafted on airtime?

Even more than the lack of airtime, I hate, hate HATE that the writers decided Robin should lie. What would have been great was if Robin hadn't said anything and just let everybody assume that Patrick's explanation was the truth. Robin could have just been quiet or hell, she could have gotten called away (where's that darn pager when you need it?) before the audience arrived and Patrick could have given his wrong version of the story. Kelly could have filled Robin in later and she could have run with it without actually telling a lie.

I continue to be amazed at how dispointing this story has become.

Is it too late for a do-over?

Bang-up Makeovers

2008-01-30T19:31:00.001-06:00

Whenever a soap actor gets a haircut, it seems like half the cast gets a new 'do. The recent trend among the women is bangs and I thought it was time for a shallow post.

Wow! Now that was a surprise. I was not expecting such a dramatic change, but I like it. Jane Elliot is totally rockin' that cut.

Also shocking was Megan Ward's new bangs.

They're not hideous, but I think they detract more than they enhance her already gorgeous hair.

Although these bangs aren't new, they did have a less than flattering experience last week.

I would look scared too Becky Herbst.

That's better.

The same hair stylist worked his/her magic on Kimberly McCullough's bangs...
... and then he/she was fired for doing something nice for the character of Robin and substandard beautician stepped in.

Really, guys? Please stop abusing Kimberly McCullough for being naturally adorable.

Caps provided by Clarissa.

Just Saying

2008-01-28T09:24:00.000-06:00

I actually found there was more balance in the writing this week. Can’t be sure if it’s because sweeps are about to kick in or if it’s an effect of the strike, but there was definitely balance, at least that’s what I think it was. I haven’t seen it in so long, I think I may have forgotten what it looks like ……..
Anyways, I wasn’t engaged in any of the stories because I felt like they went nowhere. So, because of my boredom and hectic schedule, I bring you this week’s column, on speed:

STORYLINE: Text Message Killer

Alexis - Hooray she’s DA again (temporarily), but did she really have to get choked/threatened by the killer? I repeat STOP TARGETING ALEXIS!

Felicia/Mac - I was glad to see Mac finally get to have his say about Felicia bailing. Not so glad to see that Kristina Wagner still has that nervous face tic because it's really distracting.

Maxie/Coop - Okay, first off, totally knew Coop wasn‘t the killer. Secondly, give me a freakin’ break!!! That was such a waste of a perfectly good character. Oh and not only did Maxie have to once again find her boyfriend dead, but you brought back the dreaded beanie/hat/rag thingy?
That’s just cruel.

STORYLINE: Jake’s Paternity

Lucky/Sam- Lucky agreed to give him and Sam a try and took care of Elizabeth's kids while she was in the hospital. The whole “I’ll catch you” thing was totally cheesy, but he looked so adorable doing it that I will overlook it. In case you missed it, Greg Vaughan is my weakness.

Carly/Jax - Couldn’t they have sent Jax on his Hawaii trip prior to getting the recast? Carly is still getting on my nerves with the hypocrisy, but I’ll leave it at that because she made fun of Jason’s wardrobe:

Jason: You want to give me something for my birthday? Leave Elizabeth alone.
Carly: A new leather jacket would be more practical.
Jax: Yeah, and not to mention more lasting.

Jason earned some points for saying a few smart things this week as well:

Jason: Holding a gun does not make you a man.

Please, can you put that on little memos and pass it throughout the halls of the General Hospital set. Better yet, go to the prop room and carve it into all the guns. That way the message is sure to be seen.

Oh yes, and his Carly rant was golden:

Jason: I know you care, okay? I know you care -- it's not good how you show it! You come down on people with both feet because they're not doing what you want or what you think is best! You stand there, you judge, you get to judge again, nobody gets to say anything about what you do! What is this -- you're bored with Jax being gone again?
Carly: I'm sorry. I'm very sorry. I just love you. I love you so much, and I want you to have everything. I want all of us to have everything. I want you, me, and Sonny to have it all, and something always gets in the way.
Jason: You're right, Carly. Sometimes that something is -- is you.

After hearing those words, I think I might possibly not completely and totally hate Jason Morgan.

STORYLINE: Mob War (take 6,386)

James/Jerry/Moreau/Name that the majority of our polled audience selected this week - If this new baddie is new, then why does it really matter if we don’t see his face?

Ric - I couldn’t believe he actually got scenes, but then I saw they were mostly flashbacks. Between his memories and Elizabeth’s dreams, you can totally tell there’s a writer’s strike going on.

Johnny/Lulu- The Johnny and Lulu romance continues to irk me because no one can seem to leave Lulu with a guy long enough for me to care. Slightly off topic, I thought the broody piano playing was kind of cute, but then I realized I don’t think he was really playing and I was simply amused.

Skate - After Kate presumably turned down Sonny’s proposal, he threw a tantrum by buying half of Bensonhurst and tearing it up. And we wonder why Michael’s such a brat. By the way, the whole kids buys a gun angle is creeping me out and I think he should be the next one voted off the island.

STORYLINE: The Hospital

Nikolas/Emily - Nikolas declared he doesn’t want an operation because he's afraid he‘ll lose Emily and Nadine keeps popping up for support, I guess. Honestly, I think they’re pushing the newbie too hard. Suddenly she’s all sad and toting around this locket like she's done it forever? I get that in soaps people work in pairs, but shouldn’t you wait until Emily’s gone? I mean, I know she’s gone, but she’s not gone gone. Can’t they wait until her astral projection or hallucination form or whatever she is today has left?

Monica - Are we actually going somewhere with the drinking bit? If so, color me shocked that she's getting a story and annoyed that what they're giving her puts her in a negative light.

Patrick/Robin - These two have always fought, but for months now it’s been petty and annoying and I now cringe every time they walk on the set. Great job ruining the last entertaining couple on this show. Oh and did Robin really just share her secret with Elizabeth of all people? And she’s going to lie to Patrick? Oh yes. This story is so original and so like Robin.

Dr. Devlin (aka the new doctor):

Really? That’s what you have for me? Couldn’t we have gotten someone cuter? And what's with the attitude? Is Dr. Patrick Drake part II really necessary? Pretty sure I’ve seen what you’ve done to the original and if that’s where this ride is headed, I think I’ll take a pass.

I’m just saying.

Thanks to Clarissa for the caps.

Baby Blues Part II

2008-01-21T15:06:00.000-06:00

Leo: ....hey, it's good you had me run those HIV tests earlier after you spent the night with Robin. Now you can let her know you're not infected even though the condom broke and everything will be fine.
Patrick: Yeah, now that I know I'm not infected, I think it's better that I don't say anything. At least that way we don't have to have that awkward conversation about what happened that night, what it meant or didn't mean.

Um, are you trying to piss me off? You have the opportunity to tell this ground-breaking HIV pregnancy story and this is the way you do it? Wow.

So in case you missed it today, this little lockerroom convo was overheard by Robin who has decided to keep the pregnancy to herself now that she knows Patrick isn't infected. Give me a freakin' break!!! This is so wrong on so many levels!!!

1.) This never should have been an oops pregnancy.

2.) Patrick's a freaking doctor. He knows that if a condom broke there's a chance Robin could get pregnant. Uh, does he not think he should mention it to her since that would throw a wrench into her plans of going to a sperm bank?

3.) Robin would never not tell the father given her history with paternity issues. If the writers go this route, it's only so Carly can stick it to Robin and call her a hypocrite, you know, because the writers seem to think we enjoy watching the banshee tell everyone how horrible they are so she doesn't have to focus on what a wreck she is.

4.) Why the hell would take an already unique storyline and water it down by making it like every other pregnancy in the history of soaps? Paternity secrets are overdone and no one cares anymore. Not to mention how ridiculous it's going to sound if Robin tells Kelly and everyone else she hooked up with some random guy. Robin is not that type of character so who's going to believe her?

God!!! I can't..... I just.... I have no words. No words could ever possibly convey the magnitude of my disappointment. Way to go GH. Another dissatisfied customer.

More Crazy Days Casting Shakeups

2008-01-21T14:52:00.000-06:00

Um, alright, so I wasn't pleased about Julie Pinson's dismissal, but what in the world are they thinking now? According to Soap Opera Network, both Martha Madison and Brandon Beemer have been fired.

Say what?

I thought their acting has actually improved and what really doesn't make sense to me is it doesn't sound like recasting, but getting rid of the characters, two legacy characters. Why do I think that? Because of the recent additions of Tamara Braun and Shirley Jones (yes, that is the Partridge family mom). When bringing in bigger names into a cast, it typically means other actors getting the boot. I think it's pretty clear that Shirley's just a sweeps stunt so getting rid of characters who have plenty of story ahead of them for a temporary character seems a little silly to me. I know Tams was pretty popular on General Hospital, but I would prefer to watch characters I grew up with and am invested in, instead of new character, no matter who's playing her.

Just Saying

2008-01-20T19:33:00.000-06:00

This week GH once again tried to ripoff a ripoff of last year's hostage situation by having another hostage situation, but wait, it's new and improved! It's now in the hospital and the man is an out-of-work mechanic who doesn't have insurance, but is threatening to blow up the hospital if no one helps his pregnant wife.

Color me bored.

To recap, Joe Smith (Really? I mean I get that he's an average guy. Isn't the plain name a little over-the-top?) vacillated from calm, rational man to angry, I'm going to blow us up guy. Sam showed up (for no apparent reason) and helped calm Joe down and Jason suddenly appeared and saved the day by grabbing the bomb that wasn't really a bomb which he totally knew.

In another words, it was like every other "crisis" where Jason shows up and saves the day. You missed nothing. Actually, scratch that. This time was slightly different because veteran actors were involved and by involved, I mean Monica's character continued to go downhill. Not only could she not stitch up a leg, but she's now and alcoholic who hides flasks in the supply closet.

Luke would be so proud.

Speaking of the Spencers, Lucky got involved in this fiasco thanks to the major's vanity. He's in the hospital for injuries he sustained falling off a skateboard. When he discovers the hostage situation, instead of calling the police, he calls Scott and tells him to take care of the situation quietly, you know, because if this becomes a big deal, he'll look ridiculous.

Um, no. You look ridiculous because you're refusing to call a bomb squad and you sounded ridiculous when you came in asking for Patrick Drake who a) is a neurosurgeon and b) knocked you flat about a year ago. Would you really trust him to treat you after you publicly announced it was alright for his girlfriend to be collateral damage? Are you sure you didn't hit your head?

And coming back from my tangent......

Ah yes. Lucky. I have always been a fan of Mr. Spencer (minus the summer of '06 crap) and Greg Vaughan is definitely rockin' his scenes as of late. Is it just me, or does he look hotter than usual? Let's observe, for scientific purposes of course:

Lucky taking aim:
Hot.

Lucky concerned about endangering the lives of others:
Hot.

Lucky wearing scrubs:

Totally hot.

Lucky wearing scrubs while trying to rescue Elizabeth and Jake:
Still hot.

Elsewhere in the hospital, it was business as usual. I love how Robin totally dismissed the lockdown in the ER. Considering that she's basically been held hostage twice in the last year and was severely wounded during one of those instances, I thought she'd take the situation a little more seriously. Oh that's right. This isn't the real Robin. This is the psuedo-Robin from that crapfest of a spin-off who acts completely out of character all of the time. Got it.

Robin was in doctor mode this week and her main case was Nikolas. The dark prince came in for tests and because they can't find anything, Patrick decides they need to provoke Nikolas in order to get a blood sample while he's angry, but without his consent of course. Totally unethical, but we'll get to Patrick's lack of morals later. The viewers learned that Nik's violent outrages are back once he knocked Robin down and later punched Patrick, which he totally deserved and after Friday's episode I thought he really deserved it, but seriously, can someone not get the guys some fighting lessons? When he gets into a fight, he throws a punch and then whines about his hand. The rest of the time, he just straight up gets his ass kicked. I am embarrassed for him.

After some convincing, Nikolas admits himself and then has some conversations with Emily which I just find completely upsetting because SHE'S STILL DEAD. The brain tumor or whatever they decide is messing with the Cassadine prince this week is likely causing him to see things (i.e. Emily). In another words, if Nikolas wants to get better, he's probably going to have to give up his Emily visions. Love story my ass. This is just depressing.

Something else that's depressing is Robin's pregnancy. As I've already discussed, it's not so much that she's pregnant as much as it's the way she became pregnant. And what the hell was that Leyla crap? Where do I even begin? One, if she is so in love with Patrick, no way in hell could she just sleep with him with no strings. Number two, why the hell would Patrick sleep with her after what he learned earlier (i.e. Robin informed him that Leyla really fell hard for him). In his defense, I can understand why he doesn't get that part because I don't even find it believable. I think it might be the actress, but what I don't understand is, how difficult is it to pretend to be in love with Jason Thompson? I'm sure I could find a couple of people willing to take her place if need be.

Anyway, after Robin draws Patrick a picture, don't you think he would have the good sense to know he's going to hurt the nurse if he does sleep with her again? By the way, what the hell with all the tearing down of Patrick, people? I'm convinced that one of the execs got pissy that Patrick became a popular character once he stopped being an ass. So to punish the viewers for not being "trained" (you know who I'm talking about) the execs/writers are turning Patrick into another misogynistic asshole. Like we need more of those on soaps or in the world.

I don't care how many times you show me this:
Nothing will make the ridiculous regression of Patrick's character okay.

Thirdly, why would you, dear writers, have them hook up (God, just seeing it in print makes me want to vomit) when you know Robin is pregnant and Patrick could be infected? This sucks on all levels because a) this means Leyla will be involved even more with this storyline (because she'll have to wait for HIV tests) or b) the writers will once again dismiss these medical facts and spit in the face of a socially/medically relevant issue. Either way this blows.

Something else that pissed me off was the temporary Jax replacement. I loved that he called Carly out on her Jason worship, but why couldn't Ingo be the one to do it? I mean, the dude's had to deal with the various incarnations from the start and if someone's going to start handing out anti-Carly lines, I think he's earned the right to deliver them. Would it really have been that hard to schedule those scenes for when Ingo came back? I mean, was all that crap at Jake's with Jerry really necessary? The only reason I even remember those scenes is because of Tracy's fantastic line:

Tracy: When God created Eve, he should've quit while he was ahead.

Ha! If we could have kept that line and delivered it somewhere else minus all the fake Jax crap, I would have been happy, but we all know that's not allowed.

On the other end of the spectrum we have the worst line of the week which goes to Trevor hands down:

Trevor: Hmm. Surprise, surprise. You must be much better in bed than I thought you were.
Pardon me while I shudder in disgust. That is so not something any parent should ever, EVER say to their child. It's just wrong. Something else that's wrong, is if Ric Hearst is leaving the show, not that I would blame him. Ric stopped by to see Alexis (who is now hilariously chummy with Diane) to say goodbye the girls because he was leaving town to think. I love my Rexis scenes, but I am a little concerned with all the recent exits that this was yet another. Here's hoping this is simply a winter vacation.

Someone I could use a little less of is Lulu. This week she was still kidnapped and while I know it's difficult to stay fashionable when imprisoned in an old, dank castle, but what the hell is up with the side bun? Whoever is unleashing all this sideways hairstyles needs to stop. It's not trendy it's annoying and I demand that is cease. There are other ways of getting revenge on cast members that don't include permanently scarring the audience in the process.

Alright, once again Lulu needed rescuing and Logan, Spinelli and Johnny showed up to save the day. Johnny found an injured Lulu first and after some arguing she shoved the mobster who fell on top of an old sword. Then she says she's sorry. Dude, he's got a sword sticking out of his leg. I don't think "sorry" is going to cut it (pun accidentally intended). After that little disaster, the two of them stumble into an old closet full of rum. Then they proceed to get drunk and makeout because that's what you do when you're injured and trying to escape your captors. With plans like that, no wonder she's so easy to snatch.

Rounding out this week's column is Sonny and Kate.
I like the idea of a high school sweetheart and returning home because it's very relatable, but I feel like their conversation has been on a loop for months now. Maybe that will stop soon because at the end of the week Sonny proposed. I might have been more moved if they guy didn't change women as frequently as he changes his socks. I can imagine his thought process building up to this decision.

Hmm...it's January. Time to get married again. Carly's already married and there isn't enough time left in the month to get her divorced. I know. I'll ask the next woman who agrees to dinner with me. Sweet, it's Kate!

What? That's how it seemed to me. I'm just saying.

Thanks to laurieluvsliason for the caps.

Baby Blues

2008-01-19T19:08:00.000-06:00

Robin Scorpio is finally pregnant and while I'm sure Scrubs fans everywhere are rejoicing, I, quite frankly, am all kinds of disappointed. Not to bring them down, but I was really hoping for something unique for this couple. Oops pregnancies are daytime staples (i.e. Lulu, Skye, Elizabeth) and switching it up would be a nice change. I understand accidents are more dramatic, but I think the powers-that-be severely underestimate the need for a different kind of drama.

I, for one, think it would be nice if someone had a planned pregnancy for once. I was really hoping Robin would be that one soap heroine that did things the traditional way, you know, find a boy, sex him up, get married and then plan a pregnancy. I think GH execs have proven that they are incapable of thinking outside the box, but I believed they would be forced out of said box given Robin's medical history.

Wrong again.

Robin and Patrick's love story has been unique because of it's pacing. It's been incredibly realistic which makes it relatable and enjoyable. I'm sure they'll end up together eventually, but now it's going to seem more like Patrick will step up (assuming he does) because he doesn't want to be like his father instead of he loves Robin and they came to the decision together about wanting a child. This way, he's thrust into fatherhood, but I think it could have been much more entertaining to watch him come to the realization on his own.

The other complaint I have is the exec's attention to the medical issues of this story. Okay, so if Robin's pregnant, that means the Patrick could be infected so it's HIV waiting game part two and let me tell you, the results of the first saga were a huge letdown. Secondly, I thought the odds of Robin getting pregnant accidentally were zero because of all the precautions they take. After telling me, the viewer, these facts repeatedly and then suddenly getting Robin pregnant without planning it, makes no sense. If the higherups chose to write the story so that Patrick and Robin didn't use protection because of her grief over Georgie or whatever, that will be so irresponsible and completely out of character for Robin. Then again, I don't think anyone could accuse the GH execs of always being responsible or always keeping people within character, so if the story does go this unfortunate route, I won't be surprised, but I will certainly be disgusted.

It's out of my hands now so I guess I should just call this GH disappointment #3,478 and try not to focus on all of the ways this could get worse.

Changing of the Guard

2008-01-19T15:44:00.000-06:00

This week Sabine Singh and Rebecca Budig switched places in the role of Greenlee Smythe (as if you didn't get that message from the 5 gazillion ads ABC ran). By the way, what is AMC's deal with not leaving more time in between recasts? Soap fans frequently practice suspension of belief, why not help them out a little?

Alright, so where do I start? Well, I guess I can appreciate that the powers-that-be tried to soothe disapointed Ailee fans (version 1) with a love scene. I could say it's the thought that counts but good Lord was that awkward or what? "You had me at hello?" "It's called reiki...It's a Japanese term for 'universal energy' that promotes healing on -- on every level?" I mean what is that? And was anyone else completely thrown by this:

Greenlee: And what I said before about another woman, I --
Aidan: Hey, I'm sorry.
Greenlee: No.
Aidan: I overreacted.

Did they cut a scene? If so, couldn't we have saved this discussion for another day? What about a nice little conversation full of double meanings? Something along the lines of "I can't believe how wonderful the last few months have been...I can't imagine leaving you..." blah blah blah. Sometihng that's bittersweet because the actress is leaving and she could probably use that emotion to knock her final scenes out of the park. Sadly, this adieu just fell flat for me, but then again, considering what allegedly went on behind the scenes, I'd have a little trouble selling happy too.

One last note on Greenlee 2.0, I think Sabine Singh has done a good job with the role, especially considering the story she was given to work with:

Girl returns to hometown, tries to take back her ex; considers stealing her best friends child; wrecks car (that contains herself and said child) while correcting an earlier mistake; blamed for child's deafness; becomes town pariah who is set up by former best friend, best friend's mother and husband; goes to jail for a crime she didn't commit; falls into a bomb shelter with a man she hates while making a run for the Canadian border; suffers hunger, thirst, cold, falls, snake bite and claustrophobia while trapped in said shelter for a month; rescued by her boyfriend (who she doesn't know has slept with former best friend); learns she isn't the source of a child's deafness; is forgiven and forgives (too quickly for my taste) her attackers; relives one of her worst nightmares watching a woman fall off a cliff and it now looks like she's about to get sick again.

Yeah, I'm not sure 10 Emmy-winning actresses could spin that into gold.

So the verdict on the new...or old...depending on how you look at it...Greenlee is.........I'm not really sure yet. I wasn't overly impressed with her comeback, but to be fair, as of now, she hasn't been given any meaty material. Also, I'm so annoyed by the overexposure that I don't think I could give her a fair critique at the moment. I need a Greenlee detox. Do they have a rehab for that? I'm down for that as long it doesn't involve an impromptu visit from Dr. Phil...

**On a completely unrelated note, Kendall and Zach as Greek chorus at Tad and Krystal's party was totally amusing. Thank God for small favors I guess.**

Just Saying

2008-01-13T14:57:00.000-06:00

Carly finally knows about Jake and I was glad to see her realize that maybe Jason doesn't trust her as much as she thinks. I know that sounds bitchy, but I feel like Carly's one of those women who has ALWAYS gotten her way.

Example#1: Carly exacted revenge on her mother for giving her up for adoption by sleeping with Bobbie's husband and then shooting him in open court, but her mother forgave her (can't say I would have done the same).

Example #2: Carly slept with Jason's best friend, Sonny, but both still tolerate her.

Example #3: Carly and Jax stole Nikolas' son and tried to pass him off as a Jacks and when the truth came out, no kidnapping charges were filed.

Example #4: Carly married Sonny and slept with him while still engaged to Jax, but Jax forgave Carly and married her anyway.

So no, I don't feel bad in the least that Carly feels betrayed by Jason. I think Sam spilling the beans to get revenge was a great soapy choice. What I don't like is that no one is pointing out Carly's hypocrisy. Actually, Sonny did for a moment and I was so grateful:

Carly: Do you think it was his idea to keep me in the dark about Jake being his son? I mean, the whole town knows.
Sonny: No, no, no, the whole world doesn't know. That's the point in not telling you. Because it's not your business. Excuse me.
Carly: Jason is my dearest friend, okay? I'm closer to him than anyone, including my husband.
Sonny: Doesn't that tell you something about your marriage?
Carly: Don't you think that Jason deserves the opportunity to love and raise his son just like any other father?
Sonny: Well, that's a self-serving argument, and not to mention, hypocritical, since you tried to take my kids away from me.
Carly: That was different.
Sonny: Well, of -- is -- of course you'd say that.

As great as this was, why can no specifically address the A.J. debacle? For those of you who may not know, Carly kept Michael from his real father and I'm sure at one point or another she said it was to protect the child. Fast forward to now, when Jason wants to keep Jake's paternity a secret to protect him, but Carly says no. According to her, Jason should be with Jake because he's his son. Gee, where was this wisdom years ago when A.J. was being hung from a meat hook? Because this is Carly, I'm sure this point will never be brought up, but just this once, I wouldn't mind being wrong.

Elizabeth was pretty pissed about Sam spilling the beans and the two of them went at it. Liz's bitch faces are convincing, but they're getting old. There are waaayyy too many bitchy women running around Port Charles and it's times like these that I really miss Georgie Jones.

An epidemic of misbehaving kids hit Port Charles this week and it was more than a little irritating. Kristina was pissy with Ric, Michael is turning into a minimobster and Cameron is now a little pyro. Camerons antics with matches, coupled with a broken doorknob, resulted in Liz locked outside of her burning home while Jake is trapped inside. Gee, I am so worried that Jake, Jason's son, won't be saved. As if.

Time for a little positivity: Greg Vaughan is kicking ass right now. This week he made a heartfelt declaration to Liz that he loves her kids and promises to do whatever he can to keep them safe, even though biologically, they aren't his. He also had a sincere talk with Sam about their future and about her changing her lifestyle. There was no yelling, just pure honesty, which is refreshing in itself, but Greg Vaughan's delivery and facial expressions were just spot on for me. I hope he continues to shine with this new material because I think it's going to take a lot of work to undo the crap these writers have put Luke Spencer's son through.

Speaking of the lovable scoundrel, he once again skipped town, but he wasn't alone. His companion was Skye, who, earlier in the week, bonded with Ric. Before we go any further, I have a question: Was the Ric/Skye bonding awkward because:

a) Ric came on to Skye in her old house
b) Ric came on to Skye in the same room where he did his ex-stepdaughter (barf)
c) Ric came on to Skye in his ex-wife's current house
d)All of the above

Skye decided she wanted out of the insanity that is Port Charles so she gave Ric Lorenzo's piers and said some quick goodbyes to the Q's on her way out of town. I'm glad that Edward was kind to her, but I am a little sad that Monica didn't say anything. I would have liked to have seen her make some peace with Skye before she left and I would like to have seen Lila Rae on screen once more, but oh well. I guess I'll just have to be thankful that Skye didn't leave in a body bad.

As much as I hate to see either character go, I was so pleased that Skye and Luke left Port Charles together, courtesy of a mini caper.
Of course, the departure was bittersweet:

Luke: I can't thank you enough for smuggling me out of that hellhole.
Skye: So, where are you going?
Luke: I don't know. That's the best part of the deal.
Skye: Yeah, well, I just got through telling Edward how lousy I am at goodbyes, so --
Luke: So am I. You were one sweet touch of class around here, Blaze.
Skye: Please, Luke, I was a distraction. I don't think you ever took me any more seriously than that.
Luke: Oh, you're wrong. I took you much more seriously than you know. It's just that you set a standard that I just couldn't reach.
Skye: Hmm.
Luke: You know you dance rings around people just by standing still. You think you'll ever come back?
Gerald: Excuse me.
Skye: Oh, yes. Um -- I know, it's almost time to pick up Lila Rae. I'll be right there, thank you.
Luke: I looked a lot better in that suit than he does, don't you think?
Skye: If Tracy’s not good to you, I may have to come back. Take care of yourself.
Luke: You, too.
Skye: See ya.
Luke: I hope so.

I will definitely miss the chemistry between these two.

Somewhere in backwoods Pennsylvania, Diane and Alexis offered some humor this week with their crazy road trip to their awards banquet. The two lawyers didn't quite make it to their event, but watching them get kicked off a plane, have numerous car troubles and then deal with the patrons of a biker bar was amusing. After accepting they weren't going to make the banquet, the women had their own celebration in a deserted bar. We learned some more about Diane's past and while I appreciate the fleshing out of a character, I'm annoyed that those characters getting the attention are dayplayers. Case in point: Epiphany.

She lost her son Stan and she's getting all this attention, including one visit from Monica who said she knows what it's like to lose a child.

So. Much. Wrong.

Number one, hooray for Monica being at the hospital, but it's crap that she was only given two lines. Number two, why the hell has her grief been all but dismissed? My guess is the only reason her and Edward were allowed to be at General Hospital this week was so that the powers-that-be could finish taking out the rest of the Quartermaines with the mechanic who's threatening to detonate a bomb so his uninsured wife can get treatment.

This storyline is ridiculous!

What is up with all the freakin' explosions on this show?? Let's see if we can put this guy to some use shall we? Alright, here's how it's going to go:

Monica and Edward have already gone home and all that's left are all those newbies so Mr. Crazy Mechanic Man can go ahead and blowup the hospital. It's sickening how much NightShift is infesting this show. I don't recognize any of the hospital personnel anymore and to make things worse, they've started using that God awful CGI during the daytime GH. So Joe, go ahead and blow the place up, just make sure you take all that Night Shift crap with you. If I wanted to see that junk, I'd watch it on that so-called soap channel.

Just saying.

Thanks to laurieluvsliason for caps.

Reaching An All-Time Low

2008-01-10T15:08:00.000-06:00

Congratulations ABC. You've reached levels of classlessness that I previously thought unobtainable.

First there was the online announcement that the "real Greenlee" was returning, then there was an interview, a banner and an official countdown on the daytime homepage, then the commercials hit the airwaves followed by a countdown ad (because only having it online wasn't enough), followed by the announcement of a Soapnet special and now this:

Yes, that is an ad for the original Greenlee's return WHILE the current Greenlee is still on the screen. I'd look pretty pissed too. I mean, what were they thinking?

Yeah, I don't know either.

Oh, but it doesn't stop there. That obnoxious ad ran during General Hospital:

Talk about overkill.

I think it's safe to say that Operation: Make Sabine Singh Feel Like S^*! was a success. I don't even know her and I'm offended.

All I can say is I sincerely hope that saying "what goes around comes around" is true.

AMC is L-A-M-E Lame

2008-01-09T23:21:00.000-06:00

All My Children has done a lot of strange things this week (Greenlee defending Erica and Hannah hooking up with Sean after literally bumping into him at the park come to mind), but was it really necessary for Ryan to dance? The man was shot in the head and he suddenly has the urge to dance? A Viennese waltz makes you pretty dizzy (don't ask how I know) without the added effect of a head injury. With that bullet wound, the scene should have ended with Ryan's head in a bucket.

This was a completely over-the-top way to get Cameron Mathison to dance (didn't he already dance with Annie on NYE anyway?). I mean, if that's what the powers-that-be really wanted, couldn't they have found a more subtle way to do it? Why did his dance partner have to be someone too short to reach his shoulders? Why couldn't he have worn a hospital gown so I could have laughed at him attempting to keep the back shut? Perhaps the better question is, does he really need to dance at all?

I would understand if this was a ploy to promote Dancing With the Stars, but the show's been over for a while now and really, I think he's that last guy who needs more exposure. Cameron Mathison is probably THE most over exposed actor in daytime.

Case in point: I knew who he was before I ever started watching AMC.

Dear writers (temporary or not), the next time you think about creating such an awkward and obviously forced scene, stop and put all of that energy toward making the show better. Yes, it really could use an improvement and no, a dancing hospital patient is not a step in that direction.

Line of the Day

2008-01-07T16:11:00.001-06:00

Elizabeth: There's no way in hell I'm letting you anywhere near my children.
Sam: You always say that like you've had immaculate conceptions and boy do we know that's not true.

So that was pretty much amazing because if you've been anywhere near the Internet during the past year, you know it isn't difficult to find posts about Jason being a saint because he's always saving the day etc. etc. This also makes me wonder if the new writer does surf soap sites because the immaculate conception thing had been brought up previously in the form of this little number:

Sadly, I got this from a friend who got it from a friend and so on and so forth, so I don't know the original artist, but he or she is a genius. Once you make it past any irreverent, religiously insulting aspect of the picture, it is rather amusing and kind of accurate, don't you think?

Since Mr. Temporary Writer is possibly answering the demands of online fans, I'd like to request Carly screaming less often, Jason shooting fewer people and Patrick and Lucky walking around shirtless at all times.

Thanks!

Comings And Goings

2008-01-07T11:53:00.000-06:00

The ever-revolving door of daytime continues spinning and it looks like some actors are on their way out of soapland.

*Julie Pinson from DOOL is apparently on her way out.

This really is too bad because I've liked her portrayal of Billie now that her sole purpose isn't sitting there and pining after Bo. I've also been enjoying the mother/daughter relationship she has with Chelsea. Maybe this decision was made by scabs and it will be reversed?

* Jackie Zeman from GH has had her contract status downgraded.

Yeah, I pretty much hate GH's treatment of all vets and this is no different.

*Robin Christopher from GH is poised to make an exit.

I read that Christopher wanted to move her family back east (and now I can't find the article) so it makes me think this was her decision. I'm less bitter about an exit if I know it is the actor's choice, but what does bother me is that in recent months, her talent's been wasted, of course that could be said about the majority of the GH cast. Hopefully Skye's exit isn't accompanied by a hail of bullets and another Quartermaine funeral.

Just Saying

2008-01-06T12:33:00.001-06:00

Luke: What fresh hell is this?

Exactly.

Every episode of General Hospital feels like 40 minutes (thank you once again fast-forward button inventor) of hell these days and this week was no exception.

To kick things off this week we had the New Years episode, which was beyond depressing. Let's review:

*Jax was sick and missed the party at his own hotel.

*Said party was not even shown. I know it's not a big deal, but I'm a fan of tradition and I was starting to think of the Metro Court party as a tradition of sorts. Oh that's right, they were axed due to budget cuts.

*Jason ditched Elizabeth, probably to kill someone. Now there's a guy who has his priorities straight.

*Nikolas spent the evening with is fianceé..................who just happens to be dead.

*Sonny was arrested.

(sidenote: apparently Courtney's loft was shipped to Manhattan and converted into an art gallery so Lainey and Kelly are just as homeless as Robin.)

*Robin and Patrick argued. Then made up. Then lost the patient that Georgie had recommended to Robin.

Oh yes. The new year is going to be a bright one.

Sadly, the rest of the week was not an improvement.

Luke had another version of hell where he dressed in drag at one point.

Okay, small "hee!" but seriously, did we really need to be subjected to yet another hell and not a very amusing one at that?

Lulu was kidnapped, again, and I couldn't care less.

Felicia is surprisingly still in town, but apparently it's just so she can be verbally abused by Maxie (not that it isn't warranted).

Alexis and Diane were both nominated for some lawyery award and while I'm amused, why can't veteran actors be used for more than just comedy?

I will toss out one compliment this week and it goes to the scenes where Alexis walks in on Skye and Ric who were obviously otherwise occupied. The dialogue was full of double meanings and because I have the maturity of a 3rd grader when it comes to dirty jokes, I chuckled once ............ okay maybe twice.

Alexis: Ah. I didn't mean to interrupt a meeting.
Skye: No, I can go.
Ric: No, no, no.
Alexis: No, don't -- sit. You look very comfortable. So if you're in the middle of a merger of some sort, I don't want to interrupt.
Ric: No, no. Uh, thanks for coming.

So other than that, this week was beyond painful. You know a show is getting bad when you only have to watch four episodes and you still would have preferred a root canal to reliving that viewing experience.

I'm just saying.

Caps provided by laurieluvsliason.

Looking Back: 2007 in Review

2008-01-01T23:47:00.000-06:00

Most people like to do a best and worst at the end of the year, but looking back, I find it virtually impossible to find anything good about General Hospital in 2007. This is more of a storyline recap, just in case you were wondering why yours truly (and several others as recent ratings indicate) think GH has been in a steady decline.

The Cassadines

I know life for a Cassadine is tough, but man did this year suck for them. Let’s start with Alexis. She battled lung cancer despite the fact that she never smoked and what could have been a kickass story for a kickass actress got very little attention after the start of the year. Apparently with Alexis, there is no such thing as too much misery because the tragedy kept piling up. In addition to cancer, she was arrested for smoking pot to cope with the chemo effects, had Molly taken away in yet another custody battle, was dancing on the edge of another pairing with a psycho and then developed appendicitis at the exact moment she was trapped on Spoon island with doctors, but none of the appropriate medical equipment. What do you think about all of this Alexis?

Exactly.

Her daughter’s year wasn’t much better. Sam was given another backstory where she was a con woman who married rich men and divorced them. She killed one of the men (in self-defense of course) and his daughter sought vengeance by giving Sam her own television show.

:::crickets:::

Yes, she wanted to make her famous and then take it all away. That was her diabolical plan.

:::crickets:::

Ladies and gentleman, the first idiotic storyline of 2007.

Amelia, you are an embarrassment to soap villains everywhere. I will say that despite the crappy material, Annie Wersching was not a bad actress, especially when compared to her temporary recast. Someone out there must agree because I believe she’s currently filming for 24 and because of that, her character's been MIA. This is definitely one story I’m not sad to see go.

Sam’s year got steadily worse as she discovered she could not have kids, allowed Jake to be kidnapped by a slightly deranged guest on her show, hired men to threaten Elizabeth and her children, lost Jason and then once again did the adultery thing when she slept with Lucky while still married to Liz. While totally skeevy, I’m willing to let that last one go in the name of hotness. Just in case you missed the steamy hookup:

Trust me, it was hot.

Our final Cassadine is prince Nikolas. His year started off battling Helena to reclaim his son. Then he survived the Metro Court explosion only to be once again be taken hostage by Craig/Jerry. GH’s newest villain injected Nikolas with some poison to keep him in line and when Robin found out about it, he forced them to pretend they were in love.

Idiotic storyline #2.

Nikolas survived that and reunited with Emily right before he started having random rage outbursts, lost the love of his life in his own house after becoming engaged said love and then regained lost love in the form of a ghost or some hallucination, which may or may not be caused by an inoperable brain tumor that could be genetic.

Hooray for surviving, I guess?

The Quartermaines/Spencers/Baldwins

The Q’s continued to be ignored except when they were paraded out for Alan and Emily’s death. Someone thought it was a good idea to bring Alan back (presumably because of fan outrage) as a humorous ghost/conscience thingy who haunts Tracy because she forged his will.

Someone thought wrong.

While Alan and Tracy’s bantering can be amusing, the fact that Stuart Damon has been reduced to playing a wise-cracking, tracksuit-wearing apparition is beyond insulting.

Oh yes, this version of Alan also got Tracy committed for the summer, but she managed to break herself out and the Q’s continued to shrink as Dillon said adios and headed for Hollywood. Pretty sure Scott Clifton saw the writing on the wall and decided to get out while the getting was good. I think we have a new Ned in training.

Lucky continued to take hits last year and the irony of his name and his life is still sooooooo not amusing. He proposed to Elizabeth, again; married her, again; divorced her, again; and agreed to take care of a son that isn’t his, again. Yes, in case you missed it, Jake is Jason’s son, not Lucky’s because Lucky’s not allowed to have anything.

Scott Baldwin made his way back to town, but the writing for him has been insanely sloppy. Let’s see, history was rewritten and he is now the murderer of Rick Webber and let Laura take the fall for it.

Nice.

Then he sued for custody of Laura and won. It was ridiculous that he won because he is not related to her. If they wanted Lulu to find out about her mother’s rape, there could have been so many other better ways to do it, but God forbid this show do anything that isn’t ridiculous.

Scott’s reappearance to the canvas brought the creation of a new character, his son.

Scott was unaware that Logan Hayes was his son until a DNA test confirmed it. He fell for Lulu, which caused some issues for her father and stepmother given their Baldwin hate, so of course Lulu fell for Logan too. Things ended badly for them after Maxie was tossed into the mix. Maxie became jealous of Lulu after seeing the young Spencer hanging out with her boyfriend Coop, one of the Metro Court hostage takers, and devised a revenge plot. I can’t even discuss this skeevy storyline because it was a retread of the Alexis/Ric/Sam/Jason/Liz/Lucky crap of last summer. I hated it the first time and it wasn’t any better the second time.

Lulu eventually gave Logan another chance in exchange for Scott returning custody of her mother to Nikolas. Of course her reconciliation with her ex isn’t going to last because the GH execs are incapable of keeping Lulu with one guy for too long and she now has her eye on a new mobster named Johnny Zacchara.

The Jones/Scorpios/Drakes

Georgie was virtually invisible in 2007 except when they paraded her out to have her feelings ignored by Spinelli only to finally meet her demise at the hands of another awful serial killer storyline. Way to show respect to the daughter of a legacy character GH.

Way to go, guys. Way. To. Go.

Georgie’s cousin Robin didn’t fare much better this year. Her boyfriend got his HIV tests results back (negative of course) and the whole event was a let down considering the storyline took six months to tell. Patrick and Robin had an amusing storyline in the summer where, with the help of Anna, they helped Noah impersonate an 80s rocker. Ridiculous story, but it was intentionally silly so, I’ll let it slide.

I know everyday is a bad day for Robin Scorpio, but 2007 is now synonymous with the destruction of this character. She broke up with Patrick because she wants to have kids and he doesn’t, which is fine, but why does she have to become unrecognizable in the process? Since breakup # 476 with Patirck, she's just done so many things that are well, out of character.

Jacks/Corinthos/Morgan/Alcazars (aka the mob)

Where do I even start? Carly married Sonny (again) to keep from testifying against him in the trial for Lorenzo’s shooting, while she was engaged to Jax. When her fiancée showed up, not only was she married to her ex, but she had slept with him and then justified it because they were married. Never mind the fact that Sonny lied to keep her married to him. For some reason, Jax got over it and proposed to Carly who then divorced Sonny and married Jax within like the span of a week.

I’m pretty sure that’s some kind of record and no, that's not a compliment.

Of course their marriage didn’t stand a chance with Jax always chasing after his brother, who happens to be James Craig, the psycho behind the Metro Court hostage situation.

Ladies and gentleman, idiotic storyline #643.

Despite all the crap Jerry pulled, Jax still tried to protect his brother and that led to him being taken hostage by Irina, Jerry’s crazy ex. During this stupid storyline, Jax was raped and instead of addressing this socially relevant issue, it was dismissed and joked about.

It’s moments like these that make me pray for someone to pull the plug on Robin and Patrick’s obviously upcoming HIV baby storyline. There’s no way the GH execs could take this seriously and I’m pretty sure the story would end up being just plain offensive.

Meanwhile, Jason got a reprieve from Carly so he could do what he does, no not importing coffee, killing people. Lorenzo’s brain damage turned out to be fake, which made him look like a jerk because he’d been allowing Skye to risk his life for him. She in turn helped Jason kill him.

Ah, love.

This eventually led to Jason’s 395th murder trial which of course he got out of. After dumping Sam, he’s continued pining after Liz now that he knew Jake was his.

Recently, he’s devoted his attention to hooking up with Liz in secret because that’s how you deal with losing your sister.

Okay then.

I thought we could get a reprieve from Sonny the mobster and spend some time with single Sonny, but I was wrong. 2007 brought the return of an old flame from Bensonhurst named Connie. The mobster’s teenage love has since changed her name to Kate and has become quite the fashion icon. I liked her at first because she didn’t fall for Sonny’s crap, but eventually she gave in to his "charm" and she is now just another notch on his bedpost and my dreams have been sufficiently crushed.

Another new face was Trevor Lansing. He had a past relationship with Kate and he is now trying to use the Zaccharas (yet another mob family) to get back at Sonny. God forbid we make this about Ric and Trevor, you know, his father? The reason he is the way he is?

Why is it that the only family that counts on this show are mob families?

Yeah, I don't know either.

So in summation, General Hospital is a shadow of its former self. I’d tell you that things can’t possibly get any worse, but I don’t like to make a habit of lying.

Caps by Clarissa.

Happy Days Are Here Again

2007-12-26T23:03:00.000-06:00

Now that's a soapy Christmas!

I just caught the end of today's episode of Days of Our Lives and I am so glad I did. I grew up watching this show, but I've been a viewer on hiatus for a little over a year. What was so great about what tuning in today was felt like I never left. I may have missed details here and there, but I saw so many familiar faces. That is how a soap is SUPPOSED to make you feel.

Doug playing the piano and singing "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christamas" was a icing on the cake for me because what really touched my heart was seeing Gran sitting in her chair surrounded by her family. Four generations were gathered in her living room and that's what I like to see at the holiday times - FAMILY.

I know Francis' Reid's health hasn't been the best during the past year, so I was surprised, but so pleased to hear her wish her Tom a Merry Christmas.

::contented sigh::

I'm home!

BFFs or Frenemies?

2007-12-26T21:41:00.000-06:00

Today Greenlee and Kendall made up (kind of) on All My Children. I realize that I'm new to the AMC scene, but for the life of me, I can't understand why Greenlee would want to be friends with Kendall.

Since I've started watching, Kendall's yelled at Greenlee repeatedly over Spike, planted false evidence on her computer and in her car, set her up for kidnapping and assault charges and slept with her boyfriend. I thought this was all just recent revenge because of the whole Spike thing, but then I caught the beginning of the retro AMC episode on Christmas. The two women were in wedding gowns, fighting over Ryan. Apparently Kendall had locked Greenlee up or some such soapy goodness to keep her from making it to the altar.

And this is the great friendship I keep hearing about?

Wow. With friends like these who needs enemies?

How Guza Stole Christmas

2007-12-24T20:08:00.000-06:00

There was no freakin' Christmas party at the hospital. It was mentioned, but there was no party.

What the hell??!!

Christmas on General Hospital means party at the hospital. I turn to soaps for traditions at the holiday times. Way to royally screw it up GH!!!

Shall we list all the things that were wrong:

*The only doctor I saw on a day that should have been filled with doctors was Dr. Julian. I guess I also saw Alan, but I'm not sure I can count him. I thought about giving credit for finding a way for Alan to read the Christmas story............ but then I changed my mind. He didn't read the whole thing and then I remembered that he's still DEAD!!

*The only part of the hospital I saw was the waiting area and Luke's room. Neither of which showed signs of the hospital's Christmas party.

Speaking of, what was that??!! Was that ANOTHER dream sequence? Tony Geary did a great job with his monologue, but was that really necessary? Maybe it was because at the end of the show he walked into the dark.

Uh......did they just kill Luke freakin' Spencer??!! Jerks!! If he is alive, the fact that they left a cliffhanger on Christmas is just cruel and twisted!!

*Pretty sure the crappiness of show was compounded by the fact that all of the characters were depressed.

You know it's a sad episode when the bright spot was seeing that Steve Burton finally cut his hair.

Of course that gift was taken away because it looks like Michael's going to carry on the tradition.

Ho, ho, ho? I think not. More like bah freakin' humbug.

Worst. Christmas. Ever.

Thanks to LiznJase for the caps.

Just Saying

2007-12-23T14:26:00.000-06:00

For those of you keeping track, I still hate this flippin' show because Georgie Jones is still dead. If anything else happened this week, I don't know what is was because I was too focused on this travesty.

I was surprised that Georgie was given a funeral, but I'm not sure it was better than the alternative. For starters, what was this:

Clearly someone took this picture last minute and it's so unflattering. That hoodie is awful and why is her gorgeous hair pulled back? What was wrong with using one of the cast stills they have on file like they've done with everyone else they've killed? Granted, that last round of promo shots were not flattering to Lindze at all, but what's wrong with the older ones? For example, this picture:
I got this from the General Hospital website. It took two seconds. Could the execs really not be bothered to look for a decent picture?

Hate. All I feel is hate and rage.

Another shocker was that Georgie's death brought Felicia (Kristina Wagner) back to town. I was surprised mostly because if memory serves, Kristina and ABC parted ways because they couldn't agree on a contract and possibly didn't part in the best of terms. The return of this vet should have been a plus, but unfortunately, her performance seemed..........off. Maybe it's because she hasn't worked with Kirsten Storms or maybe because there are hard feelings behind the scenes. If it's the latter, I'd like to think that Kristina cared enough about telling a story to suck it up for a few days so that Georgie was shown some kind of respect.

Felicia (the recast) faded into the background about two years ago and it took months (possibly a year) before anyone offered the explanation that she went to Texas to take care of a sick grandmother. As time went on she didn't contact her kids and the fact that no one took two seconds to say she called to check in was ridiculous. With Felicia's return came another explanation for her absence. I think the writers were trying to make it better, but the more she spoke, the worse it got:

Felicia: Mariah got worse. I couldn't take care of her by myself anymore. So I put her in a private health-care facility. It broke my heart, Maxie, but I didn't have any other choice. I was making arrangements to come back home and -- and I got a call. It was from Frisco. He was needing my help. He was in a situation that was deteriorating rapidly, and he didn't know who he could trust.
Maxie: Is Dad all right?
Felicia: He is now. It was touch and go for a little while, but we got through it, together. And then I realized how much I missed us -- how incomplete we were. In your life, Maxie, you get maybe one great love, and Frisco was that for me, but I couldn't live his life. You and Georgie were just babies, and I couldn't just pick up and leave on a moment's notice. So I had to make a choice. I know that you needed me more than Frisco did, so I had to let him go.
Maxie: And you regretted that ever since.
Felicia: No. That is not true. I have loved the life that I have lived in this house with you, Georgie, and Robin and Mac.
Maxie: Did you even love him? Because Mac is wonderful, and he was more of a parent to Georgie and me than you or Dad ever were.
Felicia: I'm well aware of that. Maybe that's why I felt comfortable to leave you with him.
Maxie: But Georgie and I were big girls, and we would have been happy just to know where you were -- to know you were with Dad. We would have kept your precious secret, Mom, even from Mac if you had asked us to, but you didn’t. And you have to tell me why.
Felicia: I didn't really have time to think. I just went. It all happened so fast. So then when I hooked up with Frisco, I couldn't call you. I mean, people were watching us, waiting to see how we were vulnerable. I didn't want to take the chance of putting you and Georgie at risk. Once things settled down, so much time had gone by that I didn't feel like I could make this call, so I kept putting it off. I wish that I hadn’t. I wish that I could hear her voice one more time. I wish that I had come back to see the young woman that she had become. I can see how angry you are with me. And I'll take that anger. I deserve that anger, because I wasn't here when you and Georgie needed me the most. And there's got to be a price to pay for that. But please don't ask me to regret the time that I spent with your father, because I cannot.

Why is it that GH has this incessant need to write all of the mothers and fathers on the show as "deadbeat parents?" Speaking of, this whole Frisco thing not showing up to his daughter's funeral is ridiculous. I really don't think Jack Wagner is planning on returning anytime soon (if ever) and if he did, it's safe to say he wouldn't be written for seeing as how this show abuses vets. I can't believe I'm saying this, but he's someone I wouldn't mind the show killing, especially if it meant saving someone like Georgie who still had a lot of story left to tell.

Another familiar face who returned to town was Dillon. His reaction was a little over-the-top for me, but I'm willing to let it slide because Dillon is a bit of an over-the-top character. Once again, I think the writers were trying to make things better, but they just made it worse. Dillon supposedly came back to whisk Georgie away to Canada to show her where they were going to be filming the movie he's working on. I'm sure he was there for Christmas, but it was a nice gesture that he wanted to spend time with Georgie. What was incredibly crappy was the timing.

Dear writers, this is the definition of the phrase "too little too late."

The way that GQ got destroyed by hurricane Lulu was ridiculous. If they wanted to toss in the abortion storyline, fine. It was controversial so it wasn't a bad idea to go there. What sucked was the fallout. It was obvious that they wanted to pair Lulu with Logan so to add Dillon to the other list of guys who were already chasing her was overkill and a waste of a funky character. When Dillon left town, his goodbyes focused way too much on Lulu instead of Georgie with whom he had a longer history with. I thought it was a huge slap to GQ fans. Yes, I am still bitter about that ridiculous driveby hug this summer.

The only good thing about this whole mess has been the acting by John J. York and Kirsten Storms. Those two have absolutely rocked their scenes. York is completely wasted on this show. A scene of mention is the exchange between Robin and Mac prior to the funeral:
Mac: I'm the police commissioner. I should've caught this bastard a long time ago. Instead, he's been free to roam, wreaking havoc. One of my daughters was attacked in my own living room. And now Georgie's dead.
Robin: Okay, you have to listen to me. You didn't let Georgie down once. You were the one constant in her life -- and Maxie's and mine. You were the one who committed to raising us when our parents couldn't or wouldn’t. You were there -- telling us to eat broccoli and do our homework, dealing with our raging female hormones, making us know every single day that we were just as loved as any kid in any normal family. Think of the person Georgie was -- smart, compassionate, loving -- that didn't just happen. She was a reflection of the best of you, Uncle Mac.
Mac: Whew.
Robin: You cannot control what's random. And believe me, you are the best parent any of us could've asked for.

I don't know how this little piece of gold found it's way into this crap pile of a show but I'll take it.

Maxie's eulogy was also a nice scene, except for the part where she tore into Felicia. It was totally inappropriate, but it was completely Maxie-like and it was soapy so it wasn't an entirely bad choice. What is a bad choice is the lack of reasoning behind this. The only thing I see coming from this death is it provides an excuse for Maxie to be angry with Felicia and we can have another "I hate my parents" storyline. There is no reason for her death other than laziness. The writers are too lazy to write for Georgie so it was just easier to kill her off.

Pure laziness.

When you kill off a character, make it count for something. Remember when Jesse Beaudry died? His death set up several stories: Noah's liver transplant, Maxie spiraling out of control and Lucky's pill addiction (partly). Georgie's death sets up diddly squat.

You know, I feel an odd sense of déjà vu.

I know why. Because I wrote about Emily's funeral a few weeks ago. Listen up GH execs. Murder, funerals and heartaches during the holidays is NOT a good idea. No one finds this entertaining.

I'm just saying.

Thanks to laurieluvsliason for the caps.

SNM = Soaps Negated & Marginalized?

2007-12-23T11:44:00.000-06:00

What the heck is this?

I'm watching Soapnet, you know the channel for SOAP OPERAS, when I see a commercial for SNM. Since Soapnet's been reairing old GH episodes I figure, this is going to be reairings of great soap love scenes.

Um..... no.

Apparently it means Sunday Night Movie.

Okay....... so does this mean you'll be showing movies that have a large cast of soap actors like Corbin Bernsen's Carpool Guy?

No again.

Alright then. Let's see if I have this straight. On Sunday nights, if I turn on Soapnet, I'm going to see some cheesy old movie, not soaps, or even a movie about soaps.

::crickets::

I think we just found who's behind the destruction of the soap genre.

"The World is a Darker Place..."

2007-12-17T15:02:00.000-06:00

Hate is not a strong enough word to describe how I feel about the creative minds who thought killing Georgie Jones would be a good idea.

How could you murder someone this adorable:

Number one, the timing sucks. Not only is this way too close to the time of Emily's murder, but it's the holiday season. You couldn't have waited a few extra weeks? According to this article, unlike Emily, this really is the last we'll see of Georgie which sucks because she would have made a great conscience to Maxie since that's the role she played in life anyway. I swear to God this is going to be the saddest soap Christmas I have seen in a long time, provided I continue to watch at all.

Second, there is absolutely NO SANE REASON for killing Georgie Jones!!! She is a sweet, understanding, good, loving character with a great sense of right and wrong. Those types characters are a NECESSITY on soaps. Viewers can only handle so many lying, backstabbing bitches who will never admit to their faults unless a character with no agenda and a good moral compass point those faults out to them. Characters like Georgie make us want to be better people and they give us hope that there really are kindhearted people still left in the world, fictional or not.

Another thing that irks me is how she was killed. Georgie is smart. I can buy that her blinders would go up if she thought she was protecting her sister, but the fact that she didn't even think to have backup when she ventured out to the park was ridiculous. The fact that she was out in the open instead of watching from the bushes with say Spinelli to see who showed up, was also ridiculous because Georgie would have thought to do that. How do I know this? Consider the following:

How many capers did she and Dillon get involved in?

Who are her parents?

Exactly.

Speaking of Spinelli, why could no one have clued him in sooner to Georgie's feelings?? This was just cruel, sick and twisted. This way Georgie leaves this world thinking she had gotten involved once again with some unrequited love.

Sick I tell you.

Sick and cruel.

Isn't it enough that you're taking this young, kind character from the show? I guarantee that fact alone is heartbreaking enough with adding all this extra sadness to it. Props to Bradford Anderson by the way. I'm continually impressed when they give him something serious to play instead of the goofy.

While we're on the subject of the mob, they were on waaaaayyyyy too much today. Georgie Jones is the daughter of fricken' legacy characters and she deserved so much more than what she got. Hell, Mac deserved better. He is like the only dad in Port Charles who actually takes care of his kids (his in every way that mattered). John J. York pulled at my icy heart today and it was so awful to see his character so devastated.

Mac: They got her, Lucky. They got Georgie.

No sadder words have ever been uttered.

The person that really got to me was Maxie (Kirsten Storms). Her reaction to Lucky's delivery of the bad news as well as the fit she threw when she was struggling to get to her sister once she arrived on the scene absolutely broke me.

Just like with Emily's death, I am beyond livid with the lack of goodbye scenes due to this idiotic killer storyline. For God's sake, Maxie and Georgie's last scenes involved them fighting over Coop possibly being the killer!! What the hell is that?!! Maxie shared some nice memories of her sister today, but you know what would have been nice? Actually seeing said nice scenes. What about a scene with Maxie apologizing for fighting? One where Maxie tells her sister that she understands she's just looking out for her and that's why she loves her.

Or what about a quick scene with Mac where he calls to check on Georgie and tells her how much he loves her and how proud he is of her? Hell, what about a scene with Robin, you know, her cousin? The person she really has the most in common with? As crappy as the writing has been lately (by recent I mean the last few years), I wouldn't be surprised if we never even see a scene where Robin finds out and honestly, I'm not sure these jerks will be kind enough to give Georgie a proper funeral. I swear to God if this all goes down in Robin's damn blog I will be one pissed off viewer!!

This whole event is an exercise in lazy writing. Writers, you already had an exit mapped out for Georgie, one that didn't involve death. She was going to study abroad, remember that? If Lindze's contract was up and you wanted to write her out, you could have written her into her study abroad adventure early. Maybe a spot opened up in the spring and the professors decided to offer it to Georgie because her good grades made her a prime candidate. She could have fallen in love with Paris (or whereever she went) and decided to finish her schooling there. After all, she originally stayed in Port Charles because of Dillon right?

Still don't want to bring her back at the end of college? Simple. Have her choose to live in Europe. It's not that much of a stretch considering Robin lived in Paris for years. If you don't want to bother stretching your creativity a little because you hate your job or are simply too lazy to do so, then quit and let someone who cares do your job. There are several people out there, myself included, who would care more about good storytelling than the bottom line. What I don't get is why the higher ups can't seem to understand that the former will lead to the latter. I can guarantee that this stunt is going to lose you more viewers that you gain.

As far as I can tell, Lindze is a talented actress who was never really given the chance to flex her acting muscles on this show. Saying there was a lack of story for the character is a load of crap because there was still so many ways to flesh out the character of Georgie Jones. She still had a lot of stories or life (depending on how you look at it) ahead of her.

Spinelli: She shouldn't be dead.

Damn straight. Now if you could convince the writers of this, that would be great.

So have I mentioned in the last five minutes how much I hate, loathe, detest, abhor and despise this damn show?