Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice Archives

2009-06-30T15:28:00.002-04:00

All Relationship Advice Ordered by Date

New Relationship Advice

2009-06-30T14:34:00.005-04:00

Most Recent 10 Comments

Discipline a Boy

2009-06-29T19:23:00.005-04:00

Need relationship advice on the best way to discipline a 10 year old boy that is always getting into trouble at school, daycare and home! We have tried, restriction, taking away things that he likes to do, making him clean all kinds of things around the house, writing sentences, doing more homework, I cannot even remember all of the things that we have tried!

- Samantha

Idealist

2009-06-14T22:00:00.005-04:00

Ever since I can remember, I have always had a curiosity for this deep inner knowing of “Self”. This all consuming and magnificent obsession has driven me to find new answers about human behavior. I recently ran across the relationship book “Please Understand Me 2” and found that I was a Champion/Healer Idealist temperament.

I am struggling at the moment with a similar feeling of loneliness and alienation. I live in one of the most conservative and traditional areas in the country and find myself constantly curious about others behavior.

I ended up marrying a traditional Provider Guardian and have just really realized that I have tried to change her for the last 7 years of our marriage. I am deeply longing for connection and a “soul mate”, an understanding and a genuine sense that I am known (as described in the Idealist mates profile).

How do I deal with the fact that the person I am with doesn’t understand or maybe even isn’t possible of understanding what I am longing for in a connection with her? When I bring it up or try to communicate in any way it is perceived that we are just different and maybe not meant for each other.

I am at a loss and feel like you may have some insights about relationships dealing with this sort of dilemma. Specifically, about the internal struggles of the Idealist understanding the specific temperament of their mates, but resentful that their perceived notion cannot reciprocate the understanding. I guess what I want to know is, what do we do now that we know more about ourselves and the motivations that drive our sense of self. How can I address the loneliness?

- Unknown

Relationship Rings

2009-06-09T10:40:00.007-04:00

When your man starts asking you about your plans for the future, whether you are happy in this relationship, or even the rings of your newly-wed friends, these are the subtle hints that he is planning on his coming proposal.

A romantic proposal is usually surprising, but only in regard to when, where and how it will happen. As for the engagement ring, it's very important for you to give your man a precise idea of it. Since it will be valuable and you will be wearing it each and every day; you want to wear a ring that fits you well, he wants you to be satisfied, and he wants to be your hero who gets you a perfect one.

The easiest way is to sit together with your man, and browse through a tacori jewelry website. Show him the images of the engagement rings you dream of, tell him which diamond shape fits your finger the best, and don’t forget to mention about your finger size.

So your man will remember that you prefer Tacori designer engagement rings, and he may fall in love with Tacori’s more than craftsmanship artistic rings that mix old elegance with modern charm, a style that well matches your quality.

Your man can get you that perfect ring in an authorized dealer of Tacori like JR Dunn.

Paranoid Partner

2009-06-04T10:59:00.009-04:00

In "Break up" we discussed about the Breakup Cost of Love and the Love Saving Account you need to accumulate to ensure you are rich enough to date and possibly lose love someday with less hurt. In "Love with no Result" we summarized 8 foremost preconditions to ensure a successful love journey with apparently more chances. In "Narcissist" we discussed about a personality disorder to help you spot it at the early stage of your dating and make an informed decision.

Today we will move on to another personality disorder; it's called "Paranoia". The most explicit sign of a person with paranoia is that he is overly or constantly suspicious. A paranoid person grasps any single piece of evidence that supports his mistrust and ignores or misinterprets any other evidence to the contrary in order to confirm his doubts, and he continually does so. A person suffering from paranoia continues to question the loyalty of others.

So how will a paranoid partner possibly hurt you if he is just on his guard to protect himself? When you start to date with him and when his love for you goes intense, you will get the answer. In a love relationship, this suspicion usually exhibits unreasonable jealousy.

Jealousy on small doses is cute and essential on a relationship. It is a sign that your partner is being in love with you. It sparks passion and romance, and can enhance a couple's devotion to each other.

However, when it's too much and out of control it will eventually destroy the relationship between you and your partner, because it eats away at the one thing that holds you together: Trust. Overdose jealousy leads to numerous fights that totally expose your negative qualities.

For a person with paranoia, jealousy is a byproduct of his own issues with low self-confidence and low self-esteem. To protect himself, he sees other people's intentions as negative, rather than finding any fault in himself.

Therefore, it's important for you to find a confident person who "matches" you to date. Please do not humor your paranoid partner who tortures you in the name of "love". The more you humor him, the crazier he will become, the deeper you will be trapped in, the more breakup cost of love you will face in the future.

Break up

2009-06-02T11:21:00.009-04:00

OK, OK, I understand, it's the most difficult emotional time to get over. I understand that the advice in "Goodbye Lover" and "Heartbroken" on how to get it over are so rational and apparent that we all know them but they are hard to carry out in real situation of that moment. The reason is that the advice is too late.

So, today, we switch an angle from being too late to being in time, if not early, when you are still rational. Yes, this piece of advice is for those who are not yet being in love or who just fell in love and still have vision.

Today's topic is called "Love Cost", however, this cost of love is not the one that ultimately leads to a long lasting happy marriage, therefore, actually called "Breakup Cost of Love".

How much does a breakup cost? Of course, financially it cost you. The more serious your love relationship was, the more cost it may occur.

However, are you aware of the hidden cost of a breakup?

First of all is your emotional cost, that is your lowered self-esteem, being sad, depression, being lonely, regret, guilty, pain and insomnia.

The second one is the benefit of current love, so a breakup is also called as "lost love".

The third one is the unrealized invested cost: money, emotion, time and energy on the wrong person with no expected returns and this cost could have been spent in having more friends, finding or furthering your career.

The fourth one is your previous friendship loss. Because you became lover, you lost a friend.

Because love with no result is costly, it hurts so bad when you break up.

On the other hand, because it's costly, to ensure you are rich enough to date and possibly lose love some day with less pain, you need to preserve a decent amount of saving.

First saving account is your true best friends. Therefore, continue to expand and maintain your strong emotional support social network while dating. Always keep qualified potential soul mates as friends.

Second saving account is the news or stories of tragedy or grief. When you break up, read them, think about how miserable those people are. Compared with theirs, your life is much better, because you are rich enough to date. Or keep a saving account of heart-stirring books or songs. Concentrate your emotion on positive elements without a moment to be depressed. Internet can help you a lot.

Third saving account is the notes of your lover's strong points and shortcomings. Please have two separate diaries ready for each purpose. When breaking up, simply read the shortcoming diary and tell yourself, "It's not a regret at all to lose such a person." But remember, never read it when everything is fine!

Please learn to accept the fact that finding your soul mate is a trial and you may make wrong choice.

Caribbean

2009-05-22T11:32:00.004-04:00

Have you heard the concept "all inclusive vacations" or all-inclusive resorts? At "all inclusive resorts", comfortable accommodations, meals, soft drinks, gratuities, recreational activities, entertainment and most alcoholic drinks are included in the daily rate. Many also offer a selection of sports and other activities included in the price as well. They are often located in warmer regions.

Soft, white sand beaches, gardens bursting with bougainvillea and hibiscus, blue skies above, a light breeze ruffling the palm trees beside the gazebo, and the ocean behind you. Forget about the rest of the real world, enjoy your caribbean vacation and leave your wallet behind.

Curaçao Resort with native Dutch character is the first All-Inclusive resort in the Southern Caribbean.

Being in love vs love

2009-05-21T11:16:00.011-04:00

What's the difference between being in love and love?

Building a love relationship is like building a bridge over a river. Being in love is like crossing the river in winter. The river freezes over and we can walk across. It's effortless and exciting.

Anyway, summer comes, the ice turns to liquid and we’ve lost our natural bridge. The ice bridge relies on the weather, and we realizes that we need a real bridge that endures through every season in order to cross the river and reach the other side or just to keep the excitement of crossing the river.

Being in love is romantic, but life is realistic; crossing the river over the ice bridge is thrilling, but the weather changes, and there's nothing that the effortlessness can maintain.

We can make use of the ice while we build a more durable bridge of wood, brick or steel. Likewise, while we’re being in love we can build a lasting love relationship based on respect, trust, and friendship. When we’re being in love we want to spend all our time with the other person, and it’s a perfect opportunity to get to know each other better, so we can know how best to love the other one.
Being in love provides you with a gifted opportunity and strong desire and energy to preserve the love. If the bridge you build is durable, you keep your love being in love; if the love relationship lacks respect, trust or friendship, then you will eventually end up falling out of love.

We thought that we were deeply in love, but some day when we looked back we suddenly found it so vague; the deepest love must grow with time.

Love with no result

2009-04-26T12:59:00.017-04:00

To avoid 8 kinds of love with no result, you will live a life with less hurt. Do not create self-hurt and do not let these love with no result overshadow your view of a much better and healthier life near at hand.

8 kinds of love with no result are as follows:

1. When you care about him more than he cares about you

Love is supposed to be mutual, and when he's just not that into u, to avoid self-hurt, you had better give him up as soon as possible before your love is getting deep.

Your love is actually never satisfied and the harm is not less than drugs'. You lose yourself in this unbalanced relationship and you will feel you are fooled and painful.

Vice versa, do not hurt someone you are not that into.

2. When you only love his potential

You don't really love him as is and you just love the one he might become in the future, then he is just someone you want to shape but not your love.

If you always hope to change him to satisfy you, then it's rather gamble than love.

Vice versa, if he always wants to change you, then he doesn't love you; leave him as soon as possible before you get hurt.

3. When you want to help him

You have pity on him and you feel obliged to cheer him up; you are afraid if you leave him he will be hurt.

He's fragile, dependent and unloved. You have pity on him and then you try to love him. He will be grateful to you.

It's alms giving that lacks respect for love.

Vice versa, if you are in need of help, please be thankful to him as a friend only, no further.

4. When you admire him as an idol

This kind of love is unequal. If you tend to love someone you admire, you usually lack self-confidence.

Vice versa, if someone admires you, just keep the friendship as is and do not "upgrade" it to love.

5. When you are just attracted to his appearance

It's rather infatuation than love. Vice versa, if you are a beautiful woman, don't be easily carried away by the number of wooers handy, otherwise, you may contrarily be suffered. A beautiful woman is a target of aggressive men who are addicted to competition, not love.

6. When you are together in an unusual occasion for a short period of time

This kind of feeling is not long lasting, since you don't really get to know each other, especially when the occasion is changed later on.

7. When you just want to be opposite

When you are told to find someone rich, you intend to find someone poor......you just want to prove something, then you don't truly love whom you choose.

When your parents dislike boyfriend, you insist on; you just want to be opposite.

8. When he is not free

Being free means he can be with you freely, unmarried, unengaged, not dating someone else, not in a love relationship, single and only be with you.

If the man you are being in love with promises you that he will leave the other woman very soon; or he says that he doesn't love that woman and he loves you; or the other woman accepts your existence but they don't plan on breakup and he wants to be with you for a while; or he just broke up, but they might be together again......then he's not free.

If you date a man who is not free, regardless of excuses, result is the same, that is, your heart will be broken, and the truth is that you only receive the portion of what the other woman left over.

Choice is at yours; responsibility is at yours. Love with no result is just a gamble with little chances to win and your happiness is the wager.

8 kinds of love with no result summarize 8 foremost preconditions to ensure a successful love journey with apparently more chances.

When love is mutual, balanced, equal, undivided, whole, unconditional with respect, it will pave an enchanting and healthy boulevard for you.

Bridal Shoes

2009-04-10T22:04:00.004-04:00

The most neglected but the most important part of your wedding ensemble is actually your bridal shoes.

Since you will wear your bridal shoes all day and all night on your wedding day, please buy two pairs of bridal shoes early and test them by walking around other than on the carpet for an hour or two at a time in order to break in the fabric, and then try to wear them till the end of the day. Comfort ensures your best mood on your big day.

Bridal dress is worn only once, while bridal shoes aren't. High end brand bridal shoes are usually more comfortable. It's worth investing in designer bridal shoes with high quality fabric and delicate craftsmanship.

Shoe pads are bridal shoes' good friends. Not only will they help prevent slipping and chafing, but also make your feet look better by preventing your toes from hanging over the edge of the shoe.

Betray

2009-04-06T17:18:00.001-04:00

I had a friend who betrayed me by asking my boyfriend in private if he would leave me for her. He is still friend with her and I am supposed to act like she never did this. I don't want her around my bf. Should I leave my boyfriend because he refuses to stop being friends with her?

- Amy Rice

Being a mom

2009-03-25T13:02:00.003-04:00

One of the happiest things in your life is to be a mom, giving birth to a child, a human being, amazing enough. This little kid will be the extension of your life.

Fashion doesn't forget pregnant women and it says that you deserve even much better. Being cute and trendy in maternity clothes is possible.

For those mothers-to-be who are happily pregnant, I wish you and your angel all the best.

Boyfriend's Son

2009-03-23T22:48:00.005-04:00

I am currently dating a man who has a 13 year old son from a previous relationship. He is a good dad for the most part, and the 3 of us get along great! However, when it comes to disciplining his son, it just doesn't happen. His son is used to being spoiled, and getting away with everything. It's more like his son is the parent, and my boyfriend is the child. Know what I mean? Recently his son was caught stealing and my boyfriend put his son on restriction. However, he still allowed him to go to his moms house where he knew that she would let him do whatever he wanted. The only reason he went to his moms is so he could play with his friends anyway. My boyfriend tells me that he can't keep him from seeing his mom, however the only time his mom is in his life is when she wants something from my boyfriend. Like money or whatever. Anyway, my point is, that my boyfriend absolutely will not step up and discipline his son the way I think he should. Like restriction without the benefit of being able to go outside and play, or playing video games, etc. But because I'm not the biological parent, my boyfriend thinks that I shouldn't have a say in disciplining his son. My boyfriend and I currently live together, have made plans to get married, and having children of our own. We are very serious in our relationship. So, do I have a right or a say in disciplining his 13 year old son?

- Miz

His staring

2009-03-17T17:46:00.003-04:00

I'm 15 year old girl. And I go to 10th grade. In my science class there this guy and he's very smart. He's the best student in the class. But a week ago strange things was happening. He stares at me a lot! Two days ago, he stared at me like he was shocked or something. I was in my classroom doing my work and he stared at me again. One day ago
he stared at me two times. Every day he stares at me! He always talks with the girls in the class and fool with them. But his staring bothers me. I don't like him or anything like that. I mean why he's staring at me? what should I do about it? Because it really annoys me.

- Wantstoknow

Evening dress

2009-03-17T14:28:00.003-04:00

After work, Friday and weekend nights, where are you often going to? Bars, pubs, parties, clubs or dates? You will surely think about what to wear and how to wear attractive. You will think of an idea wearing sexy clothes.

You can try Halter dresses. Halterneck is a style with a single strap around the back of the neck. Halter top is a type of sleeveless shirt. The term "halter" comes from the German word for "holder", which literally means "busts-holder". Halterneck garments are generally considered more provocative because they leave the upper or upper and middle back free, exposing the shoulder blades.

Or you can pair long gowns with some very sexy knee-high boots. An evening gown ranges in length from tea and ballerina to full-length. Gowns are often made of a luxury fabric such as chiffon, velvet, satin, or silk.

Last but not least, in any relationship keeping the romance going is a very important part, and nothing helps this more than wearing sexy lingerie outfit.

Heartbroken

2009-03-12T10:47:00.007-04:00

The related cases we will refer to when we address this topic are under Forget Love menu.

If you are heartbroken, please remember this first: just like giving birth to a child, the pain will pass and the new baby will eventually be born. Being heartbroken is never eternal.

Before you forget your pain, feel free to recall it, feel it. Feel free to listen to the music that brings back haunting memories and feel free to cry. This helps you get through the worst of the pain and moves you along the path toward healing. Heart break is like losing a loved one to death, there you will go through a process similar to grief.

Then please be good to yourself: a spa, a massage, a movie, a concert just to cheer yourself up. Listen to gorgeous music, take a walk in a beautiful garden or a unique hillside and eat healthy foods.

Please remember what a great rabbi once said: you can learn something from everything, meaning there's no experience including the worst one that can't teach you something worthwhile.

Please learn not to depend upon another person for your happiness. It's important to find your own true self and path in your life. Please do not rely on a love relationship to resolve your problems, to seemingly fulfill your "empty" life. You had better be reasonably happy, content and fulfilled on your own and then seek out a love relationship that can add to your life. Being dependent on another for your happiness is a good set-up for heart break.

Please remember there are other fishes in the sea. We have often marveled at how the next love has proven to be so much better than the one before, simply because we do learn at least something from each of these unsuccessful love relationships.

There's nothing like good, warm, understanding, loving and lovable friends after a heartbreak, but please do not talk one friend's ear off about your situation. And do be grateful for the kindness shown to you by others who reach out to you at this time. Once you feel a bit better it would be very lovely and thoughtful of you to send a thank you note, little gift, flowers or whatever to any friend who was especially comforting, understanding and helpful to you during the period of difficulty.

Confused Relationship

2009-03-11T08:14:00.007-04:00

My boyfriend and I have been together for six years. We live 60 miles from each other. He lived with me and my sons, also his son, for over 4 years. He told me the other day that he loves me but he isn't being in love with me. He is scared to end our relationship because of what we both have invested and thinks the feelings will come back. I'm so confused. We are both in our mid 40's. There isn't another person in the picture, I just think he is confused. He has never been in a relationship this long and we have reached a comfortable stage that he can't get past.

What can I do ? He calls me everyday and we see each other on weekends. It's just not the same. He doesn't tell me he loves me anymore and treats me like his buddy. I feel inadequate and don't know what I can do to save this. I love this man with all of my heart.

- Kim

Groomsmen Gifts

2009-03-09T22:21:00.006-04:00

Getting married is a milestone in your life; wedding is its start. A good lather is half a shave, so is a good wedding. Wedding is an event as big as marriage itself; lots of trivia to be taken care of with patience and accuracy.

In your marriage you will have to take care of all trivia on your own, while, no matter how stressful a wedding can be, it is however arrangeable, and what's more, people are out there to help you!

People who will help you are those who are near and dear to you and most of them are groomsmen. A wedding is not a wedding without the groom but the same, a wedding is not a wedding without groomsmen! Because groomsmen do most of the jobs from bachelor parties to decorations etc.

On the other hand, what groomsmen do is priceless and the effort they do cannot be measured by money. Therefore, apart from nursing jitters, what a groom needs to do is to show his dearest respect and appreciation to his groomsmen.

This is how groomsmen gifts were born. All what a groom needs to do is to select unique and personalized groomsmen gifts, especially best man gifts with a sincere heart. As a groom you know your friends well, thus, please pick one that fits your friend's personality and please never purchase groomsmen gifts in bulk and distribute identical ones! These are the ideas you can follow when you search for a perfect gift.

Your groomsmen deserve the best and most appropriate gifts that you can buy just as you deserve the best wedding and marriage.

Another Date

2009-03-08T11:07:00.005-04:00

I went on a date with a guy and I want to know whether that guy likes me or not or will he come with me for another date? I am 38 and not married. He is 36 married and divorced. How will I know that if he likes me? On my first date we went to see a sport event with another friend. On my second date we had dinner and went to my place to watch a movie. He was nice and hugged and kissed me on cheeks and said that next time treat from him.

- Lis

Long distance relationship

2009-03-08T10:26:00.003-04:00

I'm an 18 year old straight female and lately I've been having issues with a long distance relationship.

To make a long story short previously I had a long distance relationship with a guy (I was 17 he was 21 at the time) without telling my parents. It was about 3 days before my parents discovered that I had been with him(in person). My father almost killed him, called the police, and started threatening that he'd kill himself.

Now I'm in another relationship with a 23 year old who lives in Pennsylvania. The only issue is I told my parents and they have taken away my phone, car, and all other forms of communication.

I've known this guy for a year and I'd really like to give him a chance. How can I explain that to my parents in a way that won't freak them out or have them look at me like I'm some weirdo? Should I drop this relationship and conform to what my parents think is normal?

- Felicia

He's just not that into u

2009-02-10T05:04:00.007-05:00

I am 17, and recently, I've been very much attracted to this guy who I'm in an after school activity with. Earlier at the start of the activity, about 5 weeks ago or so, he admitted, during a rousing game of "Truth" with a few other friends, he had a crush on me at one point! That was when I started looking at him in a different way, and thinking I really liked him. I completely disregarded that he had also mentioned 2 other girls (the specific question was 'Who amongst the girls here have you liked, if any?) and was just flattered he mentioned me. Slowly, but steadily, I confirmed to myself and pretty much everyone in the activity that I liked him, including one of the other girls he'd mentioned.

I wasn't too worried about the other girls, as one had a steady boyfriend, and I thought the other did too, but recently, the 2nd girl and her boyfriend broke up. And I found out my crush and this girl had almost dated. Immediately, I panicked. She was my real competition, and they were much closer friends than he and I were. She and I chatted, being very good friends, and she gave me permission to 'go for it' as she had just gotten out of her relationship and claimed she didn't want to go into another one.

Now, I forgot to mention that recently, I had one of my friends say to the guy "You know [me] likes you, right?" And he just said, in a very neutral way, "Yeah, it's kinda obvious." I should have known then to drop it. I even told myself 'He probably likes the 2nd girl, and she likes him, so this is entirely moot.' However, my friends fed my broken heart, and after much debating, a few nights ago, I wrote him a very brief e mail basically saying "I like you - I wanted to be straightforward - I'm not expecting anything - Just want you to think about it" and had asked my best girlfriend and best guyfriend to proofread the note and they both okay'ed it. My guyfriend even convinced me that at the LEAST my crush will be flattered to receive the note.

Alas, the day after I sent the e mail, I checked out the woman's bible for dating: He's Just Not That Into U and learned that all of our self convincing and hoping was for naught. The honest truth is that he knew I liked him, and he didn't care, and didn't reciprocate those feelings, and I should have let it go because he's just not that into me. If a guy wants you, HE will make the effort to be with you. The simple truth is that boys don't like to be chased. And sometimes that means that you'll feel idle, 'waiting' for a guy to make a move, but after you flirt, and put yourself out there a bit, and if nothing comes of it by his way, nothing will, and you have to accept that.

If anything, I wish I could go back in time, and just not sent the e mail, I would. And I have a strong notion he rarely checks his e mail, and by the time he gets it, he could be dating the other girl and even if they don't date... talk about an awkward situation I've made for myself. I now am still hopeful, because that is just the pathetic girl's nature, but I do know and accept that he'll probably start dating the other girl, and even if he doesn't, I do know for a fact that I am somehow going to receive a polite rejection from him, and I'll have to be okay with that. To make my insanely long story short (I guess I'm just feeling chatty tonight) if he can make a move, and he's not, then he's simply not that into u. PLEASE read the relationship book; it has officially shamed me and my pushy girl ways. It has changed the way I will forever date.

- Unknown

Kid's Valentine

2009-02-05T09:28:00.006-05:00

Valentine's Day is one of those big holidays in elementary school. It's a day to teach students about love. Students exchange Valentine's Day card to show their love for their schoolmates and teachers. Every child drew, painted and prepared their own Valentine card box with their name written on front. At the end of the Valentine's day each kid happily brings back home the Valentine card box full of the Valentine cards with valentine poem they received from their schoolmates. This Valentine card box is growing up with the kid together. Every year a new Valentine card box with new Valentine cards is added in. These Valentine cards are filled up with friendship showing the growth of the kids. The ritual continues each year till middle school.

It's a warm custom. It builds love in those little hearts when they are so innocent and angelic.

Dress kids uniquely

2009-02-01T03:53:00.005-05:00

How old is your child? A toddler? Is he as lovable as Charlie Brown, the main character in the comic strip Peanuts and who is full of determination and hope? Then you will love Peanuts Brand clothes for toddlers like this pretty cool snoopy boss tee.

He's still an infant? Then Disney Couture clothes will fit. Wearing clothes with the character Winnie-the-Pooh, the Pooh Bear will simply make your baby look just as adorable as your favorite character.

If your child is just a funny little boy and brings you so many laughs in your daily life, why not dress him with these funny baby clothes?

Dressing your kids in chic and unique way makes your life so much more interesting and make your relationship with your loved children so much closer!