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Washington Wizards Future Part III: Needful Things

2008-05-09T16:27:00.004-04:00

Parts I and II of a four-part series on the future of the Washington Wizards covered the currently signed players and the free agency of Gilbert Arenas and Antawn Jamison.

Washington Wizards Future Part III: Needful Things

We've known Ernie Grunfeld to be a relatively savvy prospector of player futures. It's also pertinent that the Wizards effectively make use of limited cap room. Gone are the days of the irresponsibility highlighted by these prom-night dumpster babies:

Brian Cardinal (6 year, $37 million, Grizzlies)
Adonal Foyle (6 years, $42 million, Warriors)
Jim McIlvaine (5 years, $35 million, Sonics*)
Todd MacCulloch (6 years, $34 million, NJ Nets)
Jerome James (5 years, $30 million, Knicks)
Calvin Booth (6 years, $34 million, Sonics*)
Vitaly Potapenko (6 year, $33 million, Sonics*#)
And many more....

Wow, crowded dumpster.

* Seattle must have bad karma from grunge rock and Starbucks. Being responsible for three of these horrendous contracts is bad enough, but now Space Needle City won’t even have a team to mismanage funds on.

# Speakling of Vitaly Potapenko….as Mark Price came up in a conversation on Bullets Forever, I did some research.

In late September of 1995, distinguished Washington Bullets GM, John Nash, took a risk and traded the 12th pick in the '96 draft to the Cleveland Cavaliers for an aging Mark Price. Someone needed to fill the hole left by a departed Scott Skiles and Nash didn't feel that Mark's brother, Brent Price, could adequately distribute the ball to the likes of Chris Webber, Juwan Howard, Rasheed Wallace, Ledell Eackles, Calbert Cheaney, Tim Legler, and Gheorghe Muresan.

Mark Price, then 31, didn’t even make it to the beginning of the season before getting injured which left John Nash scrambling to acquire Robert "The Original Pac Man" Pack from the Denver Nuggets for Doug "Philly’s Finest" Overton and Don "Oft-injured 'gym rat' who tested positive for steroids in 2000" MacLean, just days before opening night. Mark Price played only 7 games in that 95-96 season…..I also blame Nash's curse inducing trade for C. Webb only playing 15 games that year. But I’m digressing…..

Back to that 12th pick in 96….Cleveland used it to select overpaid bust, Vitaly Potapenko. Who was taken 13th? None other than this year's MVP, Kobe Bryant. The likes of Peja Stojakovic (14), Steve Nash (15), Jermaine O’Neal (17), and Zydrunas Ilgauskas (20) followed. I just love hindsight….and coincidently, John Nash was forced to resign in April of '96.

The Matter at Hand: What do the Wizards need?

Who, or what, can best push the 08-09 Wizards to the next level? We can certainly start with intangibles such as health, maturity and growth. Those things are great, but the question when it comes to salary cap flexibility is personnel. I've broken down team needs into three areas:

1) A lock-down perimeter defender. The Wizards gave up a ton of treys this year, 683....an NBA record no less. DeShawn "Lock Smith" Stevenson can only guard one person. The team needs a lengthy stopper coming off the bench who can recover and contest outside shots; someone with the quickness to stay with smaller guards. The Wizards gave up some many offensive rebounds partially as a result of dribble penetration which forced the interior defense to shift out of position. Simply put, the Wizards need someone whom they can insert to defend opposing guards so that Eddie Jordan is no longer forced to overuse sub-par defensive combinations such as Gilbert Arenas and Antonio Daniels.

2) A rugged rebounder who has the resemblance of a post game. No question that the Wizards have rebounding issues. They consistently got killed on the glass many times this season, especially when it came to offensive rebounds. Stats place the Wizards struggling to keep up with the median, 14th in rebounding margin (+0.40), and 19th in rebounds allowed to opponents (41.19 per game)…of course, rebounds allowed can be indicative of game pace. According to KnickerBlogger, the Wizards are 19th in the NBA in defensive OREB% (offensive rebound percentage). Getting into the top third in these rebounding categories will translate into more wins.

The reasons the need for a rebounder is not #1 is because Etan Thomas should be fully back, Andray Blatche will improve his strength, and rebounding can be a specialty of Dominic McGuire. However, keep in mind that none of these guys play inspiring 1-on-1 post defense. Haywood can block shots, but he's not agile enough to keep up with quickness, and Songaila's toughness cannot overcome the fact that he is undersized.

On second thought…..maybe I'm putting too much hope into Etan Thomas. Also according to KnickerBlogger.net, the Wizards ranked 22nd Defensive Efficiency, and 27th in Effective FG% from the opposition. Perhaps the team need for someone to generally hold down the paint propels the big man requirement back to number one over a perimeter defender. Grunfeld's first move really depends on confidence in Etan.

3) A spot up long distance threat. Sure, the Wizards made a franchise record for threes in 07-08, totaling 575….without Gilbert Arenas. Stevenson, Jamison and Butler have proven that they can shoot the trey ball, but they aren’t pure shooters. And if the Wizards choose to let Roger Mason Jr. walk in favor of more minutes for Nick Young, then your 3 point shooting takes a hit. I can certainly understand the desire to give Young some of the departed MaseON's run, but I’m weary of Bean Burrito's long distance consistency….cat is streaky as they come. Ideally, the Wizards need a player off the bench who can hit spot up threes resulting from penetration or from early offense in transition. This player would be able to divert attention away from Caron, Antawn, Gilbert and Nick Young attacking the basket.

It seems like the Wizards need a lot, right? And most all NBA teams would like to add the pieces I’ve described above. Who does the team have a shot at landing? A couple words of warning, the potential options ain't gonna 'wow' ya.

Read more - Washington Wizards Future Part IVa: New Additions (Free Agent Bigs) [hosted on Bullets Forever]

Calling Out Doris Burke on David West

2008-05-09T12:13:00.002-04:00

Watching game three between the New Orleans Hornets and the San Antonio Spurs last night, something just wasn't right about ESPN's television broadcast team, and it was Doris Burke.

picture from sidelinehotties.com

Now I don't necessarily have a problem with Doris herself, nor do I have much of an issue with her partner, Dan Shulman (Vital panderer). Burke's analysis? Meh....it's okay (we'll get to that later)....She obviously has basketball experience, as she played and coached at Providence. But it's her voice. The higher pitch just doesn't sound right doing the color commentary for an NBA game. I'd say that same thing if it were a man with an intolerable voice. In fact, I'll point out Reggie Miller right now....old Pacer #31 actually sounds worse than Doris.

Ok....that's just the sound. I should get over it, right? A consensus is already building that Reggie Miller lacks what it takes to be a good color person. What about Doris? In the past, her analysis has seemed adequate....nothing stood out one way or the other.

But last night's game.....it was say, in the 2nd quarter, and David West just got finished hitting a mid-range baseline jumper from around 12 feet.

Doris' comments were to the effect that West's mid-range shot was something he developed after entering the league. She watched him play a lot at Xavier and his offensive game did not extend too much past the four foot range.

Wait a minute? I saw David West a bunch in college too, only live once though. But he had all sorts of mid-range game back in those days. Yea, he was dominant inside as he shot 53.1% from the field for his four year career. West did not shoot a lot of 3s, only 18-55 for his career (didn't take any his freshman year and took and missed one his soph year). But his mid-range game, along with lack of size and quickness, is why many scouts called him a tweener.

But that's just my recollection and a couple stats. What does West's college scouting report say?

Let's visit our friends at NBADraft.net for David West's profile, written by Matthew Maurer:

"Shoots the ball with great touch and has decent range." [1st paragraph]
and
"Has an assortment of back to the basket moves, from pump fakes to the short turnaround jumper ... Has range on his jumper out to 18 feet." [3rd paragraph]

What about David West's NBA.com 2003 Draft profile?

"Can score both with his back to the basket and also facing the basket from out to 18 feet."

Well, I'm satisfied....Doris Burke was wrong about David West. We all make mistakes, but please don't claim you saw him play a lot in college and then get the scouting report completely wrong.

Later, in the final minutes of the 3rd quarter, when Chris Paul hit an amazing spinning reverse flip shot...go ahead and watch.

Doris Burke called the move Jordan-esque. C'mon lady, really? We have to compare every shot like that to Michael Jordan now? That is the most out-of-the-box comment about an amazing shot that one can make. I would understand if Paul hung in the air like MJ, but he didn't. I would've rather Doris stay with the simple 'circus shot' comment.

Doris, please do us all a favor and stick to WNBA games.

Other Bad Coverage from ESPN:

Mike & Mike
I used to take issue with the lack of NBA coverage from ESPN Radio's morning duo. Now I take that back, I'd rather them not cover NBA basketball at all. Golic is clearing reading from notes someone has given him....today's analysis was that the Spurs "ran the Hornets out the gym" last night. I don't consider a 2 point game with 9 minutes left in the 4th before one team (the Spurs) makes an 11-0 run, ultimately winning by 11 as a "running the other team out the gym" game. The only redeeming quality between them both is that Greenberg covered Micheal Jordan in Chicago during the early 90s. Other than that, Mike & Mike's NBA commentary is painful to hear.

Mike Tirico
At halftime, Mike Tirico reported a stat handed to him on a piece of paper....well more like a fact: "Manu Ginóbili has been voted the most popular person in Argentina....even more than their President."

I usually like Tirico....I still do, but this is quite misleading. For one, Argentines don't really like their president, Cristina Fernández de Kirchner (although she is much more attractive than any female President the U.S. could elect).

This lady's run-down:

She was elected in 2007.
Her husband, Néstor Kirchner, was previously President from '03-'07.
Argentina relations with the U.S. have deteriorated during her term as she was suspected of election fraud in receiving illegally funded money from Venezuelan President, Hugo Chavez.
This past March, she tried to raise taxes on soybean exports which led to nationwide protests and highway blockades.
Argentines with whom I've spoken have said that since her election, she has become less visible in public and has essentially become a basket-case as Argentine rags have covered her psychological problems.
Christina's approval rating is about 5% less that George Bush's rating.

Tirico's "fact" is like saying that Chris Paul is more popular than George Bush....not much insight there. Not to mention that I find it hard to believe that Manu Ginóbili is more popular than the past of Argentine soccer, Diego Maradona, or the future, Lionel Messi.

Mike Tirico, I expect better from you.

Washington Wizards Future Part II: The Assumptions

2008-05-08T14:27:00.003-04:00

This is the second installment of a four-part series assessing the future of the Washington Wizards. Part one focused on the current player contract situation. Part two keys in on the free agency of Antawn Jamison and Gilbert Arenas.

Washington Wizards Future Part II: The Assumptions

Assumption #1: Antawn Jamison will be back….because without him, you lose Gilbert Arenas, right?. Evidently, AJ the Gentleman is willing to play for about $10 million per, but for how long? I would say four years is reasonable, but three would be ideal….putting the termination of Jamison's contract in line with the end of Caron Butler's, as well as Songaila's opt-out year and Stevenson's player-choice. Those three would equate to just under $20 million of available space. Add AJ into the mix and Washington would have more than enough money to re-sign Butler and do some dabbling in the free-agent market heading into the 2011-2012 season.

Back to Jamison….it's been theoretically assumed that he and Gilbert would simply switch salaries, giving Antawn a contract worth close to the aforementioned $10 million per year. Could the Wizards afford to tack on an extra $2 million to keep AJ's contract at 3 years? I'll assume yes, which would also allow Jamison to go championship chasing at the ripe age of 35. So, a 3-year, $32 million dollar contract could estimate to spread out like this: YR1: $9.75, YR2: $10.676, YR3: $11.69 (9.5% yearly increases, the max is 10.5%).

Take the $42,165,117 (amount in Wizards guaranteed contracts for 10 players heading into 08-09) on the books and add $9,750,000 for a total of $51,915,117.

Assumption #2: The Wizards will not make a major trade. For one, if the Wizards do make a trade, it would hopefully include Etan Thomas as a salary dump. I'd love to package Etan and our 18th pick to a team with cap room, but as Etan's coming off heart surgery, that's not happening. Besides, cap room has become an increasingly valued commodity. If the Suns gave away the likes of Kurt Thomas and two future 1st rounders to Seattle for a conditional 2nd rounder….I doubt the Wizards could get anyone to bite on their junk. In trade talk, I'd be vehemently opposed to sacrificing future picks and in the end, I'd rather keep Etan in hopes that he can come back and be the rebounder off the bench that the Wizards need.

Also, I can't see any team out there being too interested in a combination of either Etan or Antonio Daniels and some combination of Wizards youth (Blatche, Young, McGuire, Pecherov) to offer a deal that would knock our socks off….. giving the Wizards a highly valued player who would undoubtedly boost the team to the next level.

I know that people want something big to happen…..perhaps the traditional Redskins off-season mania, where Washingtonians have become accustomed to celebrating paper championships, has been transferred onto Wizards nation. During his tenure in the District of Columbia, Ernie Grunfeld has proven to be distinctly effective GM. The Wizards should keep the pieces he has drafted and ensure a solid foundation for the future without doing anything rash.

Assumption #3: The Wizards will sign Gilbert Arenas to a 6-year contract. DC is essentially his only option, unless Gil wants to send his career hurling backwards. Because if he isn't playing for a winner, Arenas might just be another gunner on a bad team…..perhaps a rich man's Jamaal Crawford. Teams with summer money: The Sixers will keep Igoudala and Louis Williams, the Hawks will no doubt retain Josh Smith and Josh Childress, the Bobcats will sign Okafor and continue to be fiscally responsible, and the Clippers….well, they might have some money, but I doubt Arenas wants to go to a franchise in perpetual disarray…scarily ironic that the Clippers were on the other end of the "coin flip." And yes, I realize that in the past, the Wizards have been dubbed the Clippers of the East.

How can the Wizards sign Arenas and someone else?

The MLE (mid-level exception) went up 4.3% two years ago and 2.7% last year. It's based on average player salary and won't be set until July. But let's just say that the current MLE of $5.356 million goes up 3.5% to $5,543,460. Let's round that up to $5.6 million for cushion and subtract from the estimated luxury tax threshold of $71.528 (estimate from part 1 of this series) to get $65.928. With an estimated salary of $51,915,117 after signing Jamison, we are pushing it by giving Gilbert more than $14,012,883 million in the first year of his new contract.

But what about our 18th pick in the draft? Yes my friend, what about it? Well, according to the NBA rookie salary scale, the 18th pick gets a guaranteed $1,160,200 in his first NBA season. So, now, you can only give Gilbert $12,852,683 in year one.

Let's talk NBA draft real quick. For one, I'm all for trading the pick. The Wizards have enough young players as it lies and a rookie, along with the MLE, would put the roster at 14. I'd almost rather use the MLE on two players and keep money we would have given to a rookie for Gilbert and Antawn.

Wait, so how much will Gilbert's 6 year contract be? That depends on the negotiating skills of Ernie Grunfeld. Say we pay Gilbert the aforementioned $14,012,883, with a maximum 10.5% raise each year….the result is a 6 year contact worth $109,491,153 million dollars. Note: Not only can the Wizards offer Gilbert a 6 year contract versus 5 max years from any other team, but the Wiz can also offer a 10.5% yearly raise over 8%.

What if the Wizards either: can't trade the pick (not likely); want a rookie because we think we can get a steal at 18 (yea, I could see that); or want to use our bi-annual exception (in this case, we need to talk, because the bi-annual exception for 08-09 is set to be $1.91 million, $749,800 more than what the Wizards would be required to pay a first rounder)? For now, let's just choose to stay in the draft and use the MLE for whomever. In that case, we are giving Arenas the $12,852,683 in year one; 10.5% yearly increases would make the deal 6-years at $100,425,807.

Is that a passable figure? I'd say it's more than fair. We can always fudge salaries to possibly give Gilbert more money, if that's even necessary. For instance, we could give Jamison $8.6 million in year one (opposed to $9.75), give him 10.5% raises and a 4-year contract for $40 million (instead of 3 for $32). Of course, I'm only thinking about next year as I'm doling out max percentage raises willy-nilly style. The point is, the Wizards should have enough money to reasonably sign Arenas and Jamison, and to gain at least two quality players (an MLE and a rookie or a BAE), assuming that the team doesn't re-sign Roger Mason.

But who's to assume that Grunfeld doesn't want Roger Mason back? I know part of that depends on the Potomac Rainmaker's market. Would bringing Roger Mason back fill a team need? What exactly does this team need?

Read more - Washington Wizards Future Part III: Needful Things

Washington Wizards Future Part I: The Situation Room

2008-05-08T11:47:00.002-04:00

This will be a four-part series assessing the future of the Washington Wizards, I present the first installment:

Washington Wizards Future Part I: The Situation Room

Where do we go from here? The temperature of Wizards Nation seems to range from mild impatience to furious calls for drastic change. Sure, the Wizards made the playoffs the past four seasons (after going once in the previous 16)….now what? Which move(s) propels the team to the next level? And what is the definition of "next level"? Moving past the 2nd round? Contending for a championship?

So many questions, so many possible answers….and each potential solution comes with its share of risk and angst. To find an answer, you need to determine the problem. Many want to blame coaching. Others point to health. The easy out is to cite to the Curse O' Les Boulez and move on in submission to fate. Whatever your individual case may be, I think we can all reach a consensus that a piece needs to be added, as it appears that most of this past season's personnel will return. The Wizards simply cannot depend on the hope of health and current player improvement heading into next year.

Well, before even determining the problem, you must assess the birds you have in hand. This four part series could prove to be disastrously wrong as I am not any type of salary cap expert, but the internet is a valuable tool with lots and lots of information.

According to ~~Hoopshype.com~~, ShamSports.com, (I didn't expect ShamSports to have more salary info, but unlike Hoopshype, Sham has better contract numbers for McGuire and Blatche.) the total 07-08 salary for the Washington Wizards was $67,830,278 million, enough for the 11th highest total in the NBA. The Wiz ranked higher than other playoffs teams such as San Antonio (12), Toronto (13), Houston (14), Detroit (16), New Orleans (22), Utah (25), Orlando (26) and Atlanta (28), while falling below non-playoff teams such as New York (2), Miami (5), and Portland (8).

Due to contract exemptions, Washington exceeded the $55.63 million NBA Salary Cap. No biggie, every team in the league did the same with the exception of Charlotte and Memphis. And while the Wizards were not among the 10 NBA teams which exceeded the $67.865 luxury-tax threshold, they were dangerously close.

Assuming that Gilbert Arenas still opts-out like he has claimed (He has until June 30th to decide….Will he hire an agent for negotiations or won't he?), here is who the Wizards have on the books for next season:

The Good News (in that all of these players are very affordable, if not steals)

1) Caron Butler: $9,249,980
2) Brendan Haywood: $5,500,000
3) Darius Songaila: $4,234,000
4) DeShawn Stevenson: $3,616,071
5) Nick Young: $1,602,960
6) Oleksiy Pecherov: $1,446,720
7) Andray Blatche: $2,739,669
8) Dominic McGuire: $711,517

The Bad News (as in both of these guys are overpaid and untradeable….. each has two more years left on their contract after this past season)

9) Antonio Daniels: $6,200,000 (I love the toughness of AD….and I really hate to include him with the 'bad news' as I want him apart of this team until his contract is up…..I just wish the Wizards had a PG with a more consistent jumper and the quickness to play better defense.)

10) Etan Thomas: $6,864,200 (Let's face it, before the heart thing even happened, we all knew that matching Milwaukee's 6-year, $36.6 million contract offer to Thomas in '04 was a reach…..but that was the market. The only other big men in the fold that year were Haywood, Kwame, Ruffin, Samaki Walker and PJ Ramos…the Wiz probably couldn't afford to let Etan walk and make the playoffs the first season of this four year run.)

The Totals: 42,165,117

So how much money will Ernie Grunfeld have to work with? Well, over the past seven seasons, the NBA salary cap has increased by an average of 6.89% per year (going down only one year, -5.2% between 01-02 and 02-03 – the result of the first year of ESPN/ABC's television contract being less than the last year of NBC's contract). In the past three seasons, the average increase has been 8.27%, albeit the percentage of increment has declined in each of those three seasons. But the league seems healthy and BRI (basketball related income) is no doubt on the incline with the emergence of the Ming/Yi dynasties and globalization. So, a conservative estimate would be a 7.5% increase, putting next season's salary cap around $59,802,250. Now understand that my numbers are very rough as I don't have NBA financial information (the cap usually isn't set until early July, and according to the set schedule, players will be able to sign with teams on July 9, 2008). As I simplify equations, let's just say that the luxury tax level will increase from $67.865 to $71.528 million next season.

So, according to these so-called "rough" calculations, the Wizards will be $17,637,133 below the salary cap and $29,362,883 within the luxury tax threshold….and knowing our owner, the Wizards will not exceed this threshold. Is there enough money to get something done? That's next.

Read on - Washington Wizards Future Part II: The Assumptions

Thanks & No Thanks: The 2007-2008 Washington Wizards

2008-05-06T00:57:00.000-04:00

I'd stepped away from blogging since elimination Friday. The sad part is that I wasn't incensed after the loss as I was two years ago (perhaps being in attendance for the '06 Damon Jones game had something to do with past tantrums). And last year, I'd fully prepared myself for a Cavalier rout, and thus was out of the country.....the former not necessarily being the cause of the latter. But the outcome of Friday, it was something to which I've become accustomed....I was defeated.

Going into the 07-08 season, I had so much hope for this team.....we all did. But early-on, it turned into a grind. Wizards went down and what coincided was my discovery of how difficult dedicating time to a game blog could be (in total, I missed 10 out of 88 games, the result of zero access). However, as the season continued, I observed a group of ball players with different personalities from varying backgrounds come together to vastly exceed expectations. I started to really enjoy telling the tale of the game. To steal from TNT's Madison Avenue executives, it was live, unscripted, drama.

I could always rest assured in the fact that this Washington Wizards team possessed the ability to leave everything out on the court and bounce back as if previous game-to-game transgressions had never occurred. So as a Wizards fan, I want to look past the disappointment and forward in my knowledge that hope is easy when things could have always been worse.

Pradamaster and Jake the Snake have already given some great thanks on Bullets Forever, but the best thing about 'thank you' is that it can never be said too much.....so here goes:

Thanks....(23 to put the vodoo on #23)

1> To Gilbert Arenas for showing he can learn. I respect the guy because he is genuine about who he is. Maybe his accelerated desire to be back on the court affected the proper rehab of his knee, maybe it didn't. As I've stated before, I think he still has a journey to overcome in terms of maturity. But from what I've seen, I have the utmost confidence that growth can happen.

2> To Caron Butler for being an unbelievable example of the human spirit and overcoming hardships that I will never comprehend.

3> To Antawn Jamison for the time-tested execution of perseverance and leadership.....we have no idea how big his shoulders really are.....Antawn "The Gentleman" Jamison

4> To Brendan Haywood for changing my entire opinion of him and showing the promise that he can be theWizards center of the future.

5> To Antonio Daniels for doing whatever needed to be done whenever it needed to happen....a selfless individual.

6> To Eddie Jordan for keeping this team together through testing times....and for actually finding a way to win games.

7> To Andray Blatche for showing flashes of the future and being smart enough to acquire knowledge from veterans like Antawn Jamison.

8> To Darius Songaila for being 'Mr. Utility'...not everyone was on board the USS D-Song at various points of the season, but I think that by the conclusion, we could all attest to his value to the team.

9> To Roger Mason Jr.....MaseOn...The Potomac Rainmaker....whatever you call him, we all know what it's like to witness an inspiring hometown journeyman making good.

10> To Dave Hopla....not only is the guy a great shooter, but he is obviously very adept as a teacher. Many have one or the other, but to possess both is a rarity.

11> To Randy Ayers for helping adjust the defensive mentality of this team. There are hills to climb, but at least the Wizards are pointed in the right direction.

12> To DeShawn Stevenson for being a trash-talking warrior who has a knack for controversy.

13> To Ernie Grunfeld for being a trustworthy GM with foresight.

14> To Dominic McGuire "The Cleaner" for making rebounds exciting again.

15> To Nick Young "The City/Bean Burrito" for being the goofy young kid who the veterans can slap around.....oh yea, and for showing the offensive instinct that will keep him around.

16> To Oleksiy Pecherov for being a Euro-card with no offensive conscience.

17> To Mike Wilks for stopping by.

18> To Bullets Forever for being a distinguished community of Wizards fans. I've throughly enjoyed posting game blogs there and participating in online water-cooler talk.

19> To Phil Chenier and Steve Buckhantz for being a couple of good hometown guys who display excellent rapport with each other with just a tad of bias. Phil knows Bullets history, Buckhantz can throw daggers.

20> To Ivan Carter and Michael Lee for their on-point reporting and timely dedication to Wizards Insider.

21> To Etan Thomas for trying to come back this year, yet his absence allowed Brendan Haywood to blossom.

22> To all those great blogs out there which have made it to my google reader and have garnered my dedicated reading attention.....including: Bullets Forever (obviously), Wizards Insider, Gilbertology, DC Sports Bog, We're Off To See The Wizards, My Swog Is Phenomenal, Wizznutzz, DC Optimist, DC Pro Sports Report, DCist, Les Bullez, Mr. Irrelevant, We Rite Goode, The Big Lead, True Hoop, Hardwood Paroxysm, Epic Carnival, Slam, Stet Sports Blog, and more....

23> To anyone who stopped by TruthAboutIt.net for a read.

No Thanks... (just going to do three of these because the Wizards will lose to the Cavs in the playoffs for no more than these three consecutive years)

1> To LeBron James for altering my opinion of him. Until this season, I had the utmost respect for LeBron James. He came across as humble, genuine, and smart player with a selfless game who also knew how to have fun. My current dislike for LeBron doesn't have to be perpetual, these are just the first signs of a pattern. I don't see LBJ ever getting to the level of Kobe hate-blood in my system ('hate' is a strong word, let's go with dislike).....unlike the Black Mamba, LeBron is a family man.

My suspicion began when LeBron wore a Yankees cap to an Indians playoff game last year. Dude, you're supposed to be from Ohio. How are you going to be the King of....whatever with that kind of allegiance to the hood? Simply questionable.

Then along came the '08 NBA playoffs. All that I thought about LeBron got thrown out the window in favor of his sense of privilege, and ability to take the soft man's route of bitchin' and moanin'. James is an unbelievable talent whom I will enjoy watching for years to come, but just don't ask me to like someone who whines with a condescending subtlety.

2> To MC/DJ Styles and Autria Godfrey....I got nothing big against these two, because I doubt I could do much better at hyping an NBA game myself. But they don't really have much charisma. I'm not big on in-game hi-jinx in the first place, so you need to be pretty tight to impress.....and a sense of humor wouldn't hurt either.

3> To John Hollinger for cursing the Wizards.....in the end. Throughout the season, pretty much the opposite of what Hollinger said was going to happen, happened.

To recap:
Before the season, he predicted the Wiz to finish 33-49 and 13th in the East. [0-1, Wizards finished 43-39 and 5th];
Hollinger also put Caron Butler on his All-Decline team. [0-2, he tried to make it up by putting both Caron and Antawn on the all-star team....no brainer];
Hollinger called Nick Young a bust....a believe an exact quote went like this: "Why exactly are we supposed to be excited about this guy?" [0-3, Young still has a way to go...but it's clear that he will be an 'exciting' offensive weapon];
As a final insult, Hollinger predicted the Wizards to beat the Cavaliers. [0-4, Do us a favor and stick to hating the Wizards, ok John?]

Here's to Wizards talk until next year....you stay classy blogosphere.

Gilbert Arenas Just Doesn't Get It

2008-05-02T18:01:00.001-04:00

Antawn Jamison has gone about his whole career being the consummate pro. He doesn't say much, but gets the job done. Want him to come off the bench his first year as a Dallas Maverick, just as he was coming off three straight seasons in Golden State where he started all 82 games and averaged 22.3 per? No problem. Antawn Jamison will be the best damn 6th man he can be....in fact, he went on to win the NBA's 6th man of the year for that 03-04 season, ironically his 6th in the league. Jamison can be described with some many distinguishing terms, yet he is the man with no nickname. Who knows if it will stick, but I would like to dub Antawn Jamison, "The Gentleman" - a photoshop will be forthcoming.

[Basketball-Reference.com needs to drastically alter their Hall of Fame Probability equation. Currently, among "active" players, Jamison is #29 while falling behind the likes of Vince Carter (#8), Stephon Marbury (#18), Steve Francis (#19), Antoine Walker (#22), Chris Webber (#13), and our Gilbert Arenas (#15). Hmm...guess you can't measure heart with math.]

But why doesn't Gilbert Arenas get it?

Fans of the Washington Wizards should no doubt be proud of the recent comments of leadership doled out by Antawn Jamison and Caron Butler. Sure, we are all used to seeing them lead, but it's rare that they speak out, at least to the media.

"All this talking through the media about this or that is really beneath me, and I’m kind of disappointed that my teammates kind of bought into it. We've got to do more of letting our game do the talking. I’ve been saying that from day one. So nothing has changed in my corner. They know what to expect out of me when I come in that locker room. So nothing has changed at all."
Antawn Jamison before game 5 via DC Sports Bog

"Don't judge this team by comments, LeBron made a statement: 'these guys are talkers' but unless you hear something from the captains, which would be myself and Antawn, don't label that as the team. I'm the voice of this team and Antawn is the spiritual and emotional leader so unless you hear it from one of us, keep it moving."
Caron Butler after game 5 via Wizards Insider

"All the talk, all the silliness had gotten so much attention, it was time to just play ball. We were down 3-1, on the brink of elimination, I just told them that all this talking was not making them look bad, it was making us look bad. We're a veteran team and it was time for us to start acting like it.

We've got a lot of personalities on our team. Sometimes you can tame them, sometimes you can't. But this was out of hand. I told them: 'You can't get your point across through the media. You have to get your point across on the court.' That's what they were doing. They've been just staying quiet and playing. For Caron and myself, it was just difficult.
Don't get me wrong, I love D-Steve and I love Gil, and I'll strap it up with them anytime. You have to have your teammates' backs, but what was going on was just nonsense. It had nothing to do with getting respect, because you can only do that by playing well and demonstrating professionalism. You make your noise that way."
Antawn Jamison after game 5 via Michael Wilbon's column in the Washington Post

I keep hoping that Gilbert Arenas (and DeShawn Stevenson) will learn from these two.....and Gil seems to say the right thing every now and then. But then I open this morning's Washington Express (a free mini-print-edition of the news produced by the Washington Post for those not in DC), and I read this:

"We stopped talking because they've been giving us technicals and fouls. That's why."

Really Gilbert? You just don't get it, do you? And here I was, thinking that the talking ceased because of Caron's words.....because of Antawn's words. Or even because it made you and DeShawn look like idiots....not to mention that it wasn't exactly working (of course, I should include Haywood in on this criticism....even if his comments were in mocking jest -- nonetheless, they didn't help anything either). Man, all that and you don't feel one bit selfish for putting your teammates in an awkward position. Your excuse is to put it on the referees and not on the actions of the team. Pardon the expression....but that is bull, shit.

Some may wonder why it took so long for Jamison and Butler to speak up about the locker room antics. No one actually knew where all the talk would lead the Wizards. Of course, we all had an intuition that it wasn't a good idea...but even I minimized the significance of "talking trash" and thought that the Wizards would back it up.

We still don't know if all the pre- and during series talk really has had an effect on any of the game outcomes. I'd say pretty minimal at best. But that fact is that nonsensical verbiage is inconsiderate towards your teammates.

It's safe to say that Antawn Jamison and Caron Butler expected more from DeShawn Stevenson, and especially Gilbert Arenas. They hoped that it wouldn't have to get to the point of having to speak up in such a manner. After all, Gilbert Arenas is supposed to be a team captain, right? Too bad he hasn't acted like one. His immaturity has unfortunately usurped the leadership of Caron Butler and Antawn Jamison....and the title of this blog post.

Q&A with Waiting For Next Year

2008-05-02T14:01:00.001-04:00

Waiting For Next Year is a blog dedicated covering the Cleveland Sports scene. During this series, we've had some amicable and some not so amicable discussions with their team members.....mainly on the Bullets Forever comment sections. In the spirit of good blogsmanship, Rick from WFNY and I exchanged some Q&A on our teams and this tumultuous series.....here goes:

WFNY: Are the Wizards really a better team without Arenas on the floor?

TAI: The short and sweet answer is yes, right now they are (his injury factors in heavily on my answer). The question everyone will ask is what about Gil and next year (if he stays true to his word on opting-out). I like Gilbert Arenas, he's a card. I enjoy his charisma and his killer instinct on offense...a prerequisite if a team ever expects to have championship hopes. However, Gilbert has many hills to climb in terms of gaining maturity. I'm optimistic that it can be done, but I just hope his quirkiness doesn't hold him back.

TAI: In your post after game 5, you were pretty pissed at Mike Brown. To myself, and then Prada on Bullets Forever, this seemed like an unfair knee-jerk reaction. Do you feel the same today? The reason I ask is that I've been a supporter of Eddie Jordan from day one....but Wizards fans have been back and forth all year....most recently expressing their desire for Mike D'Antoni or Avery Johnson after the Wizards loss in game 4.

WFNY: Absolutely. You have to understand this is more than a one game reaction. Mike Brown is a very good defensive coach, even though the Cavs have given up more points this year than in previous years. Brown took over a team that couldn't spell defense, and turned them into one of the better squads in that area. But this man is probably the worst offensive coach in the league. Take a look at last year's finals. No creativity what-so-ever on offense. All season long the Cavs have struggled getting into their offensive sets. They are constantly having to throw up bad shots because the clock is running out. He has one of the most prolific scorers in the game, and he can't figure out how to get him the ball unless West hands it to him at the top of the circle. Post LeBron up down low, have him catch balls off of screens, for goodness sakes run a pick and roll! Zydrunas can hit an 18 footer with regularity. Why can't he and LeBron work on a 2 man game that would be deadly....

WFNY: Haven't heard much chirping before this game, has Butler finally got this team focused?

TAI: A definitive yes on increased focus. Both Caron and Antawn Jamison have recently said some very strong words of leadership in the papers....finally, talk from Wizards players of which I can be proud.

I certainly have expressed my opinion of fodder that has come from the Cleveland end of the spectrum....but more so, I've been critical of DeShawn Stevenson and Gilbert Arenas for their lack of professionalism. I could barely take satisfaction in the Wizards' 36 point win in game 3 because of DeShawn Stevenson's antics. And I think I expressed that in my blog of the game and in the comments section.

TAI: LeBron has proven himself to be a great passer, and I think this "hockey assist" thing that Mike Brown is preaching is novel approach. But I couldn't help but wonder why LeBron was deferring towards the end of game 5. Yea, it's clear that for the Cavs to take it to the next level, LBJ needs to take responsibility for his teammates involvement....and you make some great points in your response about Mike Brown.

I guess what I'm trying to ask is: What do you think of the hockey assists approach? How much falls on LeBron's shoulders? Would you have rather seen him drive to the hoop when Cleveland needed points instead of saving it for the last possession?

WFNY: That game ended with no points from our last 4 possessions. That is ridiculous. Even one basket there, and the Cavs probably win. My biggest problem was with the outside shots. LeBron's three pointer was a terrible decision. I wrote as much in the Mike Brown piece you referred to. The kick-out to Gibson wasn't a horrible decision, but there was no need to take a 3, and we hadn't been hitting them. If Daniel had pump faked the Wizard running at him would have flown 5 yards behind him, or crashed right into him. A pump fake and quick dribble gets you a better shot, or a defender leaving the low post. Either one would have been better options. Or why not go to Zydrunas there? He is a lot closer to the basket, and he's the best free throw shooter on the team.

The 'hockey pass' offense is primarily for transition attempts. Or it should be. For that idea to work in the half court, there would have to be motion, and the Cavs are not big into motion offenses. The best guy we have at moving without the ball is Wally Szczerbiak, and I don't think you are afraid of him are you?

WFNY: Who has the edge going into tonight's game? Is it the home team, or does the pressure of having to win throw the advantage to the Cavs?

TAI: I'm going to obviously go with the Wizards....not so much because of the home court advantage but more because they know that Gilbert's out. Caron knows he must continue to be assertive. Antawn Jamison knows another 8 point effort won't cut it. And the rest of the team knows to fall in place to their roles from when this team was beating the likes of Boston, New Orleans, and Dallas (twice each) without Arenas. I also wonder how the Cavs will play with the comfort of knowing that a possible game 7 will be on their court.

TAI: My final question before this post gets too long....

I like the scrappiness of Delonte West..... he has decent height and an array of skills. Seems like Cleveland has always been trying to find a PG who can play with LeBron. Is Delonte finally the answer? If yes, then why. If no, then what type of PG, or who, would be ideal? (funny how ESPN lists the Cavs game 5 starters as C, C, SF, SF, SG)

WFNY: The jury is still out on Delonte. There are questions about his defense, and Mike Brown rewards defense with playing time. Funny thing is that the first game Delonte played in Cleveland he and LeBron pushed the tempo quite a bit, and it looked like they were going to click. Unfortunately, the rest of the team can't handle that pace. Z, Varejao, and Wallace might as well have lead shoes on.

The question about Delonte kind of goes back to the question about Mike Brown. What is Delonte being asked to do? He can break the trap, which is an area the Cavs struggled with before Delonte got here. But when nobody is moving, there is no need for point guard. Too much isolation for Delonte to really be a traditional PG. I like that West can get into the lane, but he needs to be a better finisher for that to be effective. His height hasn't translated to much when he gets inside. He loses his confidence quickly as well. Of course, it doesn't help that he was being replaced when he struggled to shoot.

Delonte is the real key to this trade working out for the Cavs long term. I'm curious what he is capable of doing next year after going through camp and practice with LeBron and company. Who would be ideal for this team? John Stockton. Shoot, I'd love for Mark Price to be this team's PG. Deadly from the arc, and good vision. That would make LeBron so much better. Sigh.

TAI: You provided some great answers. Thanks a lot Rick, and good luck.

WFNY: Thanks for chatting with us. I'd say good luck, but I don't mean it. Nothing personal. I just would rather my team win....

TAI: Ha! I meant.....good luck with your blog.

Scott Templeton Receives Cleveland Journalism Award

2008-04-30T16:01:00.005-04:00

Don't know who Scott Templeton is? Shame on you......as you've missed out on one of the greatest television series in history. Templeton was the quintessential douche-bag reporter, a character on HBO's The Wire. To be clear, I'd like to separate this from associating Templeton with or making any stereotypes or judgments on real journalists.....at least those from DC. [I understand there is some type of blogger-MSM war going on] -- in any case, I could estimate that I do not have a problem with 75-85% of journalists out there (I feel terrible as that is such a crude guesstimation......and yes, I used the "word" guesstimation -- so what!!). In any case, what made Scott Templeton such a d-bag on The Wire was that he was wrought with lies, plagiarism, and staunch, unsupported defense of his despicable acts.

While I am sure that Cleveland journalists are no where near the reprehensible nature of the character on The Wire, they sure have been adept in displaying skills of hackery as of late.

Tales of Hack Jobs:

First, there was this excerpt for Brian Windhorst's blog (he's also the Cavs beat reporter for the Akron Beacon Journal)

After the game, LeBron said DeShawn Stevenson hit him with a closed fist on the flagrant foul in the first half. I have since seen some photos that support that but it was not clear. Also, he seemed to go for the ball. I suspect the Cavs will push hard to have him to have the foul upgraded but it probably won’t happen. Here is the thing, people who know DeShawn have told me they think he’s crazy enough to attempt to go head hunting for LeBron in Game 5 if he thinks it is over just because of how personal this has all gotten. We’ll see.

My initial reaction was this: For one, this was posted well after the conclusion of the game. Second, he’s telling us that as a Cavs beat reporter, the only access he had to that play was photos, which he deemed to be inconclusive. That’s sad......[and later]....... This "people who know DeShawn" comment is a little disturbing. What exactly does this mean?…..you can know someone on so many levels. I mean, Damon Jones "knows" DeShawn….... Stevenson's mother also "knows" DeShawn.
>> This whole issue was discussed on a Bullets Forever post (where I made my comments) - others made many valid points, so if you have not already, I suggest you check it out.

Then Along Came Two Sallies
#1) Patrick McManamon, an Akron Beacon Columnist - Cavs need to take out the garbage
Essentially, Patty Cake: Called the Wizards garbage. Pointed out that there are more important things in this world. (Really? More important things than basketball? You don't say.) And then McManamon proceeded to write a column about everything that's gone down in this series that has to do with basketball and not those more important things. Sounds like a little snot doing nothing more than pandering to a bunch of whiny babies if you ask me.

#2) Bill Livingston from the Cleveland Plain Dealer - Fierce Wizards a joke that just keeps us laughing
Now, Bill wants to call out the Wizards for all their talk...no problem with that, as I've done the same. Unfortunately, Livingston is intent on only telling one side of the story and uses an example which horribly back-fires into his face....just wait.

So, while I am just a stupid blogger....essentially an untrained monkey....I won't do anything here but express my opinion and angrily call people names.

I'll let the real journalist take care of the duties of a well-thought-out comeback. I implore you to go read this entry from Dan Steinberg's DC Sports Bog on the washingtonpost.com: DeShawn Appears to be Popular in Cleveland.

Oh yea....the AP is getting in on the act by making shit up.

In other news:

6 pm start time? Crap. [We're Off To See The Wizards]
Yup, most of the Wizards are saying what they're supposed to say. [WashingtonWizardsBlog]
LeBron James Flagrant 1 Fouls = DeShawn Stevenson Flagrant 1 Fouls [Wizards Insider]
My Swog Needs......something positive to happen. [My Swog Is Phenomenal]
Meanwhile....some give props and try to find solutions. [Bullets Forever]
As if I wasn't embarrassed enough by DeShawn Stevenson. [DC Sports Bog]
Is this the end? (not a good sign that the Doors are playing in my head...or is it?) [DC Pro Sports Report]
A true witness testifies. [DC Optimist]
The Cavaliers like to vandalize their own court [DC Sports Bog]
Rick has actually been a pretty cool Cleveland blogger (although he may not say the same about me -- not that I've said anything bad about him....just the whole 'LeBron is a baby', etc., etc. rhetoric....although, I've been very critical of Gilbert Arenas and DeShawn Stevenson too) -- anyhow, Rick has a great interview with Dan Steinberg. [Waiting For Next Year]
Game 5 Thread (talk it up) [Bullets Forever]
Oh yea, Gilbert Arenas is finito......we may have seen his last game in a Wizards uniform.

Top 10 Things That Need To Jump Over A Shark

2008-04-29T23:59:00.003-04:00

If you're not aware of the phrase, "jump the shark" then go here and here. Now that you're knowledgeable, here goes my top 10 list of things that need to jump the shark.

#10 TMZ
So as I immerse myself into the sports world on a daily basis, who am I to criticize people who become irrationally obsessed with the exposure of celebrities? Because celebrities don't matter. Yes, there are many celebs who use their elevated position in life to speak out against injustices, but most bring absolutely nothing to the table. Unfortunately, it's a sad statement on our society that TMZ and other tabloid sensationalism, in whichever form of media, attracts the eyes of our nation and the world. TMZ disgusts me. They do nothing but concentrate on the negative and joyously invade the privacy of others. Has this disease infiltrated the sports world and it's media coverage? Sure it has. But athletic competition is much more important to a productive society than Hollywood and its irresponsible celebrities. Besides, the virus of sensationalism knows no bounds. Unfortunately, since TMZ and it's low-brow equivalents will most likely never jump the shark, I had to rank it at 10. This clip best sums up how I feel about TMZ:

#9 Mohawks
When was the tipping point for the resurgence of the mohawk hairstyle? Can Malcolm Galdwell provide us with a column on this? Now, it seems like the mohawk is unfortunately becoming too fashionable....when it's "soooo" late 2007. Every time I see someone with their fresh 'hawk cut, I want to say: "Really? Can I see yesterday's receipt for your barb wire tattoo and puka shell necklace?"

#8 Homer Replays
Not all home arenas do this, but a majority of those that I've been too are guilty. Simply put, when arenas do not show all replays of crucial moments in a game, even if the call is against the home team, they are doing a disservice to the fan. We should be afforded the ability to review and judge plays for ourselves. Selective replays amount to biased propaganda.

#7 Distaste for Bloggers
Caught Costas Now on HBO last night....it was a town hall meeting to discuss the media and sports on a range of platforms. Essentially, with the snowballing availability of information, outlets for sports are increasingly concentrating on sensationalism and quick hits of information in next to real time. Is this a good thing? A bad thing? You can debate both sides. The town hall meeting concentrated mostly on the negative side-effects. While not all outlets can be considered guilty, there are certainly no innocents.

Specifically focusing on the internet segment (since this is a blog and the segment mostly concentrated on blogs)....featuring journalist Buzz Bissinger (Friday Night Lights), blogger Will Leitch (Deadspin [preview here]) and player Braylon Edwards (Cleveland Browns): The problem I have with those who have a severe distaste for bloggers is that they group all blogs together with their own stereotypically negative connotations. Bissinger came across indignant, aggressive and vulgar towards bloggers...ironic that he criticizes all bloggers for doing the same to athletes and main stream journalists. Buzz admittedly expressed that a basis for his anger comes from the fact that blogs are part of our future media experience....and that his son will be exposed to the glib tone and quick nature of blogs. Leitch didn't do the best job of defending blogs, but who can blame him as he was essentially ambushed. I doubt I could have done much better. Braylon Edwards actually came across as the most composed and honest voice. Read follow-ups from Deadspin here and here. And a follow up from the Big Lead here. Update: more follow-ups: Awful Announcing and another from The Big Lead.

Costas unfairly read some comments from Deadspin and attributed those as being indicative of the bloggers themselves. Sure, writer and reader may share the same nature, but I don't see much of a difference between those who comment on main-stream-media outlets and those who comment on blogs. For example, the comment contributors on Wizards Insider tend to be much more critical and irrational than those who participate in the community on Bullets Forever.

Yes, blogs run the gambit from ~~glorified~~ paparazzi, to opinion (biased as it may be) from a fan's perspective (usually focusing on a team because as we know, many team beat reporters have no intrinsic ties to the teams which they cover), to satire, to comedy, to fan community, to there are a ton a different blogs out which are as diverse as the components or our nation.

To group all blogs together would be just as insulting as grouping all main-stream-media outlets as one (or even worse, as bad as holding a person responsible for a despicable act committed by someone else of the same race). The microscope over athletes is growing exponentially as a result of blogging and the internet age, but blogs are not what cultivated this growth, they are just apart of it. Braylon Edwards was right, athletes of today are doing very similar things as athletes in the 60s, 70s, and even further back (read this). And yes, it's a fine line between invading their privacy with a dose of over-criticism and holding them accountable for reckless actions in public. ESPN has certainly been guilty a TMZ-esque hype.

The fact is that blogs are here to stay. There is a wide range of information available on every topic in the world. Buzz Bissinger should be teaching his son to not solely rely on one source, such as blogs, for information just as one should not solely rely on Wikipedia as the end all be all of references.

#6 The Horseshoe/Comb-over
Talking about the hair styles. Unfortunately, many men have to deal with male-pattern baldness. Fingers crossed that I will not be among this group as my family history has predicted that I will have a full head of gray. Regardless, my friends and I have discussed this possibility many times and each conversation ends with the conclusion of going out Andre Agassi Style (shaving the whole damn thing or cutting it really, really short). I really don't blame people for holding on at the onset of a slightly receding forehead, or even keeping the surroundings of a thinning soft spot, Manu Ginobili Style. At those points, medical advancements can still help. But when you get to the point where you've got more scalp than hair, you need to cut your losses. I don't think there's another conveyance of external appearance which displays such desperation as holding on to a few strands. Big ups to Dan Steinberg and Mike Wise for doing what needs to be done by taking the razor to the whole dome.

#5 The Possession Arrow in College Basketball
This is probably the only issue that I've ever agreed on with Dick Vitale....yet, it still doesn't make his annoying tirades any less tolerable. We are no longer in the 1940s when there were about two dozen non-athletic tie ups per game. The alternative possession rule was implemented in the NCAA in 1981. Some argue that the elimination of the jump ball "saved basketball" by eliminating stoppages in play; others say that thrown balls by refs can be too inconsistent, thus causing controversy. I call B.S. - For one, there aren't that many jump balls in today's game, at least not enough to slow down the game. Two, most subjective referee judgments can be considered controversial.....learn how to toss the damn ball. How hard can it really be? Simply put, the use of the possession arrow penalizes teams for playing good defense. Jump ball articles: USAToday (2004), New York Times (2006)

#4 NFL Overtime Rules
Look, I know that special teams play is a huge part of today's game, and that people have the desire for them to be a factor when an NFL game is in the balance. But NFL overtime rules amount to a coin flip. No other major sport implements a sudden death overtime when one team might not have a chance to touch the ball. NFL OT rules need to be more like college. If you want special teams to factor in, have each team kick off for the first round or two of OT. After that, you can exchange starting the possession from the 25 yard line.

#3 Douche Bags
This is pretty self-explanatory...but unfortunately, I doubt douche-bags will ever jump the shark since most douche bags are not aware that they are, in fact, douche bags. D-bags are too wrapped up in themselves to know otherwise. Now, most all of us can admit to d-bagish behavior at one point in our lives...after all, we all went to college and high school (ok, not all of us). But some provide people such a consistent display of douche-baggery throughout their lives that they should be shunned by normal society. A prime example of how to spot a douche bag can be found on Cracked.com: 5 Douchebag Behaviors Explained by Science and via this Saturday Night Live skit: The 2007 Douchebag Awards. Note: While the preceding links outline guys who are douche bags, this does not preclude females from falling in the d-bag category as well. Also, a more extreme version of a douche bag is a douche nozzle.

#2 College Football Championship
Computer rankings and the BCS are a good thing....completely necessary in terms of leveling the playing ground of the college football landscape featuring so many diverse conferences. But sports craves the do-or-die nature of a playoff system. By not having one, it's an injustice to the fans, the coaches, the players and the true reason to why we watch sports....for the entertainment and drama of competition. I've yet to hear a halfway decent reason as to why we should not implement a hybrid of computer rankings determining seeding and at least a four team playoff system. With computers there will always be controversy, but at least with a playoff system there will be a means for satisfaction.

#1 The Geico Cavemen
I've never found the cavemen commercials funny. Perhaps little kids do, but they don't buy car insurance, do they? The Geico Cavemen can be considered the LeBron James of the Cro-Magnon world: whiny dicks. The most effective portrayal of a caveman in a modern world was and will always be Phil Hartman as the Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer on Saturday Night Live. The worst portrayal? Easily Brendan Fraser in Encino Man....until now. The Geico Cavemen are a homeless man's version of Link, the caveman in that tragically horrendous Pauly Shore movie.

Wizards-Cavs Game 4: Quick Pre-Game Thoughts

2008-04-27T12:59:00.005-04:00

To ironically quote a Jay-Z song title...."What More Can I Say?" -- meaning, the way Jake put it on Bullets Forever, "the rivalry just keeps getting weirder and weirder," would be an understatement.

Taking a rewind, I tried my best to keep away from this internet thing for the past 24ish hours....for no particular reason as I did get a 10 minute check yesterday afternoon. I took in a pitiful Nats loss against the Cubbies, did some drinking, which unfortunately involved tequila shots, and justifiably found myself with a mini-hangover this morning. The usual antidote would be the tragically tasty grease of McDonald's. Since one is not convenient to my Mt. Pleasant/Columbia Heights location, the next best bet was the Marx Cafe on Mt. Pleasant Street. You usually don't have to deal with Sunday morning crowds, the food hits the spot and the service has all the international neighborhoody friendliness one could want. [by the way, for you're a Redskins fan, I stumbled across this City Paper article about Vinny Cerrato...interesting suggested reading]

Feeling slightly better, perhaps not 100% as I opted not to chase the hair of the dog (that bit me) I came back to do some reading on what I thought would be the life and times of Gilbert's knee injury......NoPE!

As I'm sure you are aware, all of this happened instead. What unprecedented craziness.....leading to columns and rhyme droppings from the distinguished Mike Wise and nationwide ABC mentions of nightclub fodder by Stuart Scott and Mike Tirico.

I've never been to the Park and I've only been to Love once when one of my boys from college, an ex-Harlem Globetrotter, was in town (name-dropping without name-dropping, huh?) -- I really hadn't had the desire to go back since, as I would call Love the LeBron James of clubs.....Over, Rated. So yea, why not join the boycott?

This is fun and I am excited. In the last game blog (and in the comments section), I chided DeShawn and Gilbert for their trash-talking ways.....now I'm like fuck it. Talk as much as you want fellas, especially if it gives you extra incentive to back it up.....and as long as you win, of course. In five words: Cleveland, you can suck it.

The way that this rivalry is escalating, I halfway expect this to be the culmination (long clip...the 3:20 mark would be an adequate start):