Geezin' in Arkansas

It's been a while...

2008-06-12T06:04:00.002-05:00

Lots of water under the proverbial...
Quick rundown:
Bought a used Land Rover Discovery II. A truly great car to drive; impeccable 4x4 manners. Unfortunately, within 8 months it decided to stop lubricating one of its exhaust valves. Estimates are from $3,300 to $6,000. We now pretty much have no money because 5 weeks after I had a complete physical which I passed with surprisingly clean numbers (even the doc said so!) I had a heart attack. Let me back up a bit...
Pam had been suggesting that I get health insurance. I'm 61 and it's was still a long way to Medicare, so I've been applying to Wal*Mart (only game in town) to get a part time anything. Finally, I was hired on as, what else?, a Greeter. I started on 29 April & had been working a week when I applied online for one of the Aetna (via AARP) insurance packages one morning. I electronically signed the application hoping for approval and a coverage start date of 01 June. That afternoon I had the heart attack. An uninsured & certainly unexpected heart attack. As of now we are at $19,600 w/more coming. Now you know why we don't have Land Rover fix-it money.

Also, we had to put our wonderful companion, Reno, to rest. He was pushing 14 and mobility problems were becoming too prevalent. He had ongoing digestive system problems that were causing him, and us, much discomfort as well.

Later...I need to run for a bit. Hopefully, I'll update/finish this soon. As in a week or so rather than another year.

Geez

Dogs in Arkansas Update.

2008-01-12T12:37:00.001-06:00

Wow, I AM behind...
I found a great home for the Heeler in Jonesboro.
The basset pups went to the animal sanctuary near here but I don't think they've been adopted yet. Damn. The owners thought they could adopt them out quickly but even after 2 months, I know they were still there.

Finally, something new...

2008-01-12T12:21:00.000-06:00

Did all y’all have a funnish “Christmas, "Holiday Season", "Kwanzaa", or "Cross-Burning" or whatever the hell you heathens celebrate? Pam & I celebrated by having a not-so traditional Thai Panaang Curry dish (tofu, hers/chicken, mine) with Satay (tofu, hers/chicken, mine). I made it and it was surprisingly good!! I’m becoming quite the Chef. Pamela calls me the “King of Defrost”. She calls me other things, too. I may have to head to Memphis or Little Rock this week or next, so I’ll try to find some Indian groceries with which we can celebrate Valentine’s Day (we’ll do a Masala or some other red dish). Of course, we’ll do a Thai green curry for St. Patrick’s Day.

We missed a White Christmas by a day. We got a little over an inch of big, wet snow on the 26th. Pretty I must say, but I’m sure nothing some of you others have received.

We are now the new, proud adopted parents of a beautiful Chocolate Lab (possible Rottweiler mix?) that wondered into our yard 3 times in 4 days last week. He was undernourished, covered in his own feces and dirt, and responded to raised hands by dropping, shutting his eyes, and cowering, so, yeah, he’s been hit. We're keeping him this time around. He is a really beautiful & sweet dog. But he's BIG (his paws easily reach up over my shoulders when he jumps up). And he’s STRONG. And he bounds around constantly. He’s now a very happy dog! The vet estimates him to be a year and he weighed in yesterday at 90 pounds. Next Monday he goes in for the sex change. We haven't told him yet. We'll advertise him as an adoptable in a few weeks after he has recovered but new owners will be scrutinized closely. Or we'll keep him. He's too rambunctious for Pam to handle right now so when I head to the Geezer Reunion (a high school reunion that is being held in the Florida Panhandle this Feb.) I'll board him for those 5 days, if we still have him. If we do keep him (yes, I already want to, but the Boss isn’t so sure) I’ll have a proper & spacious run built for him. He’s waaay too big for in-house & his tail is lethal. He already has a doghouse we’ve used for other strays that is big yet toasty and I move it all into the garage if the temp is slated for under 35…or if it going to be wet. Of course that means Pam loses her van’s garage space, but we do have our priorities.

You can see that he’s already pulled the tree border up; this is still a temporary site. He’s gone through 2 big rawhide bones in 3 days…that’s the soggy corpse of one in the background. Oh, yeah, his name is Hershey as in the candy bar. He got away from me this morning (he looooves the woods!) and bounded around for nearly an hour then came back with smudges of something he must have rolled in. Of course, he was bathed and received his puppy shots just yesterday.

We are approaching our 2 year anniversary as Arkies. We still love it here and are constantly awed by the state’s beauty. We are going to try to get more & more day trips to local off-the-beaten-path sites this Spring. Of course this whole area is off the beaten path. We never even hear jets flying over. We get cars on our stretch of the road maybe 2 or 3 times a week that aren’t the mailman. Private and so peaceful.

I’ve put my old truck for sale (for you guys in the know, that’s “Medium Rare”). The truck is more vehicle than I really need plus it’s getting a clutch glitch that worries me. The Land Rover is perfect for this area and I love it. I wish it was not so thirsty in the gas department, though.

The next Kevin-in-Retirement project I guess will be to repaint the house this Spring since it is beginning to look a little shabby. I’ll try to do most of it but I know I’ll need some help. Anybody?

& I still have to learn how to take care of green things. Back in Vegas I just watered the rocks once a month or so to wash off the dust and bring out some of the color of those rocks which were Dust Brown anyhow.

The extra good news is that there is a petition going around to try to get a bill on the ballot for next November to convert this dry county to a wet county. The Thumpers are going absolutely CRAZY. Those who initiated the petition are getting threats and are being cursed and damned to Hell. That doesn’t sound very Christian to me. I think bars are like strip clubs and churches: if you don’t like ‘em, just don’t go, but give us the options to choose. And didn’t Jesus (the Saviour Guy, not the landscaper) do a miracle or two that included wine? And what would Jesus say about cigarettes?

Okay, enough drivel…I’ll probably post this to the Geezin’InArkansas site. I haven’t published anything there in months!

Best wishes for a great year…

Kevin & Pamela Keough

Dog Situation in Arkansas

2007-08-15T14:26:00.001-05:00

We just can’t take in any more! We already have our 90 lb, 12-ish yr old lab/shep mix & 3 indoors cats. Some have special needs; all are rescues. And we have the 2 outdoor feral cats that have adopted us. He (the boy cat, “Dennis” as in “–the-Menace”) just had 2 surgeries for an ear infection and now has a floppy ear. He was getting fairly friendly with me until I brought him to the vet 2ce. Now he’s very wary. And Momma Cat, Dennis’ mother & ‘lover’—having ‘spawned’ 4 kittens that took us months to spay/neuter and finally adopt out) is VERY wary…she will accept food, of course, but it better not be some shitty Wal*Mart cheap-o brand, either godammit!! The beagle mix puppies are a blur of energy and feeding frenzy, not to mention the poop quantities involved. The heeler is also a bundle & we don’t know how they will mix.

The adoption place in Fayetteville was a shithole and the woman who runs it is psycho. I mean a real mental case; vicious & vindictive. That’ll be another story…

So I brought the pups all the way back home; a waste of a day (12½ hours & well over 400 miles of driving on two-lane, twisty roads). We’ve come to the unfortunate conclusion that the only way through this despair is to put the beagle pups down via our vet. We absolutely just can’t keep them & a humane euthanizing is better than to abandon them & leave them out to die.

We’ve called every shelter in a 200 mile radius. No one will take them. No one CAN take them. Every shelter is over capacity & with this heat the toll is rising. It’s 106 right now. Even that “haven” in Fayetteville had many dogs in outdoor pens w/access to shade but no centrally cooled common area.

There was an abandoned kennel found in western Arkansas yesterday that had 114 dogs w/no water or food. They estimate it had been up to 2 weeks w/o care. Apparently the kennel itself was well constructed and designed, but the people there shut the fkng water off to the self-watering system built into the pens, shut down the power to the A/C system and drove off without telling anyone. No one has yet been able to locate them; they even just left a lot of their shit in the house & disappeared. 30 animals have to be euthanized (or have been by now). One female ate her own pup. This is a ghastly situation; one that we never knew existed anywhere to this extent before.

Even the woman with whom we board Reno (he doesn’t do well at our normal groomer/boarder—Marilyn at “Almost Home Acres for Pets” keeps him inside with her & he follows her around w/his tail between his legs) says that she now has to shut her eyes and just press on when she sees a stray. She let herself get over extended and got into money and effort problems. She told us about her friends who opened a shelter in her area (she’s 20 miles away) about 4 years ago and within 6 months, people had dumped so many animals that they lost the business due to over-capacity, the unforeseen expenses, & extra labor, and stress; they even lost their home and the couple divorced within a year after shutting down!

Sorry for the depressing news, but Pam & I are at wit’s and emotion’s end & we have to face this event head on. So, we thought we’d share our misery w/you. (That means I have to vent.)
I wish I could find a smiley face to add to the end of this sentence…

We thought about buying a dog run. A 10x10x6 we found is $500 but A) we can’t get it for 9 days and B) every asshole in the area will hear about it and they’ll dump dogs & cats here.

**Addendum
Pam just got off of the phone. That heeler mix we have got away from us the other day and was gone for 2 days. Animal Control got her somehow and tracked her back to us via rabies tag. Well, they just called to tell us that they have her again. But they don’t. "Ours" is in the garage right now. This is yet another one. And she was picked up near where I found “ours”. Must be a sister.

S H I T

Hell Motel

2007-08-07T09:06:00.000-05:00

A couple weeks ago, I decided to take a little overnight getaway. So, on Sunday, the 5th, I headed to Hot Springs, a venerable old spa town of days past, to see the sights and to see if it was gimp friendly enough so that Pam & I might spend a day or two there in the future. Then on to Little Rock to spend the night so that on Monday I could do some non-rural shopping & chores in the 'big' city before heading back home. I used hotels.com to find a room. I found a La Quinta w/room rates that were suspiciously low (as compared to regular La Quinta rates) and it was located right in central Little Rock. Perfect! I could visit the River Market area, head right across the river to North Little Rock to visit a Land Rover specialist to get some info & advice on some minor glitches I've been experiencing w/my Discovery II. Follow that w/PetSmart stop (to find a special weight loss food for our now 30 pound cat) and then another stop or two to locate some car parts for the 2 vehicles I'm selling. Back to the River Market area to have an Anchor Steam (or 2) at the Flying Saucer Draught Emporium (http://www.beerknurd.com/). Then I'd drive over to west Little Rock to the one & only Indian restaurant in the city (state?), & load up on to-go plates for Pamela & me, and head home.

Hot Springs was jammed w/a fishing contest. & I mean jammed! By the way, the winner of this contest won ONE MILLION dollars!! It was not some little local event (move over NASCAR). Fox Sports Network & all of the Little Rock affiliates were among those covering the event. I got caught up in it and went in to watch the final weigh-ins. I though I was at a Rolling Stones concert...well, except for the music itself. There were only 2 kinds played: Country and Western. Because of the crowds & traffic I didn't get to my La Quinta suite (near the UofA Medical Center) until 9:15-ish. I was out of there by 9:30.(-ish).

This place was like a crack house. It started w/a sullen Asian girl, "Mai", at the front desk. She certainly did not make me feel "welcome" or even human. There was another employee there stumbling around the reception area. It seems he'd forgotten where or what a shower was. He was kind enough to grunt at me in acknowledgement of my greeting to him; that made him somewhat nicer than "Mai". And she had no idea where my room was. She told me to go "that way and turn left". Well, that way and left brought me to a wall. Then she yelled (I'm still in the office area...not 40 feet from her desk) "Oh, sorry, maybe you go right!" She essentially just sent me out to look for it on my own. As soon as I hit the littered parking lot, I was followed around by someone requesting money from me. The request quickly changed into a demand. I gave him a buck to get him away from me. Roaming the lot trying to locate the room, I passed by a room where a woman was shrieking at her two (or more) screaming, crying children. Then, I happened upon the pool where a woman was watching her 3 fully clothed (including shoes) children splashing & screeching in the water. But the best was yet to come. In a narrow hallway beneath the 2nd floor walkway, I glanced into a room to see a lovely 200+ pound, middle-aged, sweaty black woman napping on a bed in a brightly lit room right at the window...& not even the sheer curtains were drawn to protect my corneas, by the way. She was topless. She was wearing horribly stained granny panties. Nice. (I just threw up a little into my mouth recalling that sight.)
When I did finally find my room, the toilet had urine in it and the shower had been partially pulled out of the drywall. In an adjoining room there was a man & woman fighting. "Motherfuckin' this, motherfuckin' that, motherfuckin' 'ho', motherfuckin' bastard"...you get the idea. Plus, either he was slamming her into the wall (or maybe vice-versa) or they were throwing things around. I pretty much decided that I didn't want to be a part of this family's gathering.
On the way back to the front desk, a man came out of a room on the 2nd floor and dumped an ice bucket or a small garbage can full of water & debris over the railing & down into the pool, onto the deck, &, of course, on me where I was walking. When I returned to the desk area, there was a security guard sitting behind the counter hitting on "Mai". I've stayed at La Quinta motels before. They are usually rather nice. This place wasn't.

Divining. Yes, it's true

2007-05-30T17:17:00.001-05:00

Some weeks back, I drove a friend to his friends "new" single-wide which is located on some way-back acreage in North Central Arkansas. I mean waaaay back. I doubt if I could find my way there again.

Anyhow, this trailer looked like a Cops episode waiting to happen. For that matter, the girl who just bought it would be in the episode, too. As the star, I think. She had a couple of pretty nice teeth.

So, we're out admiring the setting and she goes into the Cops set and comes out with 2 pieces of wire cut from an old wire coat hanger. They are maybe 7" long each and bent into "L" shapes about 3"x4". She calmy states that she'd heard that there was a water line buried along the front line of her property and she wanted to mark it. She slowly moves towards the front of her property line holding one wire in each hand pointing straight ahead. She moves slowly forward....and then they begin to cross.

"Yeah, right.", I said. She laughs and my friend laughs. AT me. So she says, "Watch this.", and goes over to the side of the property where a temporary 1" pvc water feed had been set above ground to supply her trailer until she could tap the main. As she crosses the pipe the wires cross again. Well, sheeyit, I think, anyone can cross the rods when you can see the water line and pretend to "find" a water line underground that may or, more likely, may not be there. She hands the wire els to me. She tells me to hold them somewhat firmly but to keep my thumbs off of them. I walked to the pvc line and they crossed. I went to the front of her yard to where she had "divined" the buried water main and they crossed. I swear I tried them a dozen times. I went up and down where the buried line was (not knowing it's route) and every place the rods crossed, they indicated that there was a pipe there and those places indicated a straight line. I went back to the pvc line in a dozen different locations and every damned time the wires pulled together.

Then they showed me the penny in the baggie of water...You tack that up near your door and it will keep bugs from flying into the door.

The Elks club does it at their entrances, too. Maybe there is something to the back country tales.

The Geez

Clarification

2007-05-30T16:58:00.000-05:00

I've been trying to write something for weeks, even months now. I've actually written 3 different treasures but I've been smart (sober) enough to reread (& trash) them before publishing. God, I suck at this.

There is one posting that I must make a comment about. While rereading all of this drivel recently, I see that there might be a misunderstanding about something. The wedding I went to in Las Vegas last October (about which I have still not added any of those stories) had a reference to "possible" drug use. (Something about not wanting to have to take a drug test). I want it known that NO ONE in the wedding party, with the exception of one lone person who walked in on me and may have noticed alleged dandruff around my nostril, knew of or was aware of any alleged illicit behavior or product.

I may or may not have gone by an old neighbor in my old neighborhood who was not, in any way at all, part of the festivities or even aware of this event, and I may have acquired something stupid and energizing. Maybe.

Anyhow, I apologize to the Las Vegas crew for implying their knowledge or participation in any way.

I do have a great story that I need to set down about something that I personally experienced here in the Arkansas back country. Hopefully, I'll get it to you soon.

The Geez...

Update on stuff...

2007-03-21T23:02:00.000-05:00

Yes, Pam’s 30th birthday (for the 21st time***) was on the 18th so we celebrated by deep-frying a turkey that she would never eat because she is a vegetation but we done up anyhow, but we set the carport on fire. I guess the marinade shouldn't a been 89 octane.

Fortunately, I had the presence of mind and sobriety to hook up to the double-wide and tow it away from the fire scene w/my ’56 Ford pickup w/the Dodge '53 V-8 flathead motor & the '49 Studebaker tranny.

Unfortunately, I towed just the back 2 bedrooms, the master bath where we were growing algae for Polio testing, & the meth lab. Goddam duck tape ain't what it used to be. Fer Crise sake, the front half should'a come too.

We were able to save the "Chief Woosie Feather" statue (picture & explanation to follow in another posting) that my good friend Jim Freeman, who is now living off of his girlfriend's wages, sent me for my birthday #56, and some photos of Jim & I climbing & descending the Alpspitz (for which my thighs will never forgive him). Jim & I were roomies, but really, hardly anything more, in Bavaria near the Austrian border where I lived from '82 - '88. He came to visit me and way overstayed his welcome.

We also saved our new Dumb Bible Studies For Dumb Dummies book that I bought for Pam for her birthday, some meth that I had cleverly hidden in the Dumb Bible Studies For Dumb Dummies book, and a lot of "adult" photos that I had taken during previous relationships, also hidden in that book. I was pretty sure that none of it would'a ever been found because I was pretty sure that Heathen Pamela wouldn't be reading that.

But we lost 6 of our non-hunting hunting dogs when the porch collapsed: Fortunately, I was able to give Pammie a really nice fur coat made from them there same doggies as a remembrance. It kinda' smells like a barbeque started with diesel fuel & old tires but now the bleeding heart animal-non-eater refuses to put it on just because there's a rabies tag burned into one of the pelts. Gah-Dam! Some women are just ungrateful!

We also lost that “88 Trans-Marro that I’d been so diligently working on. Why I’d just put fresh concrete blocks under that sucker. Plus we lost the beer fridge out there under the carport and I’d just refilled it w/6 cases of Milwaukee’s Best Ice. I was able to salvage a couple of cans, though, but, boy, them beers were hard to drink at 120 degrees...they burned my lips! Thank the Lord Baby Jayzuz that that is a premium beer so it were drinkable. I get pretty thirsty by 9am!

Outa' here

The Geez.

*** You know, I think about my Pammie and I get a quarrel in my head.
One side says, boy, you are with a chick who is a whole 10 years younger than you!!
Then the other side says, boy, you are sleeping with a 51 year old broad!

Sorry, I'm falling behind again.

2007-03-17T06:09:00.000-05:00

Been busy doing lots of nothing. Took Pam on a trip to the casinos of NW Mississippi to see/hear Jonny Lang last week. He's changed his style & we kinda' don't like the new mode. Almost a cross of George Benson/Robert Cray. Guess I'll stick with Geezer Rock & Blues and, of course, Kenny Wayne Shepherd. He still kicks ass. Also a great band is L'il Ed & the Blues Imperials. Been around a long time and they are mucho fun.

Yeah, Pam & I, especially the "I", really like "The Blues".

Bad family news: my brother who kind of doesn't like me much ever since way back when (he & our dad were jazz, I went rock & roll; he was military, I was hippie plus 'dabbled' in the related hippie products. But I digress:) He's been tagged w/cancer. Unsure of seriousness other than the seriousness of cancer in its own right. I'd like to visit but I don't want that underlying "gotta' get there & see him one last time" slant to my knocking on his door, but dammit I want to anyhow. It's 1,010 miles. I could drive via Atlanta and annoy his boy/my nephew Jim (aka: "Little Jimmy").

Any opinions out there?

The Geez

Acclimating to Arkansas

2007-02-13T15:34:00.000-06:00

*I'm trying to use "y'all" in my daily conversation...Pam refuses. I guess that's leftover from her school teaching days.

*I'm going to put the Razorback's fight song on as a ring tone for my cellular & I'll get the horn honk from the General Lee from Dukes of Hazzard on to Pam's phone.

*We thought about deep frying a Turkey for Thanksgiving but we decided we didn't want to set the carport on fire just yet.

*Haven't hit a deer w/the car or truck yet, but have come very close. We have a possum (NEVER o-possum) that has adopted us vicariously through the not-quite-trusting feral cats' food & water bowls that we keep on the front porch, which also includes an old table & 3 settin' chairs as well as the emergency generator...that's an especially nice touch.

*"All", "oil", and "awl" are pronounced just the same.

*Taxidermy is an art form.

*Ketchup is a food group.

*The last line of "The Star-spangled Banner" is "Gentlemen, start your engines."

*When our neighbor asks, "Jeet yet?", he means have we eaten dinner, which here means lunch.

We're gettin' there, y'all.

The Geez

Baybee Jayzuz Up Here In Arkansas

2007-02-11T16:48:00.000-06:00

I've found The Baybee Jayzuz through the Betty Bower's Christian ministries.You HAVE to read her. Her take on the death of Anna Nicole Smith and the bizarre behaviour of the AstroNut is incredible. See her at http://www.bettybowers.com/nl_feb2007.html

I recently received an email from one of my favorite teachers of high school days. I went to a Jesuit all-boy boarding school in SW Wisconsin. He was one of my math teachers, a Jesuit priest, and was also, I believe, the school president for a time. In his letter he hoped that I had retained my Faith over all of these years. I haven't. I did K-through-12 in a huge Catholic environment (for the wrong reasons) & I believe that I’ve fkng prayed enough. I remember sitting in Church on Sundays w/the Mom & the Dad. Dad would either doze or snicker to himself, …or both. Mom would check out the peer-group fashions. We, of course dressed up all spiffy to make sure the Jayzuz loved us more than them poor people who didn’t wear ties! Plus, living so close to the Cathedral (The Cathedral of Our Lady of the Rosary in Duluth, MN, 1 short block away w/its grade school right across the street) I was always called on for DAILY early-shift Mass Altar Boy service (at Oh-fkng-Six a.m. And during my 6th & (part of) 7th grades, that was followed with being roped into acting as the school crossing gaurd during the next scheduled Mass at Oh-fkngSeven-thirty (which, by the way, I was fired from for hitting on a cute Blonde (5th grader—Cheryl Elliott—will never forget her!!) while a bunch of 2nd and 3rd graders crossed a hugely busy street without my protection.)

I think religions are just basically evil cults. (Just kidding, Baybee Jeebuz, in case y’all are out there…)

Here in NE Arkansas it’s 2007 but it's still way back when, when it comes to the Baby Jeebuz. The Ford dealer here, in his Parts/Service Waiting Room has signs posted saying (I am not making this up) “Talk Nice; Jesus is Here!” Well, Ole Jeebuz wasn’t around there when those fkrs charged me over a thousand bux to fix a little coolant system leak.

And you ought to hear the arguments concerning Dry vs. Wet counties (we’re dry). My comment once (not well received) was that Churches, Liquor Stores, and Strip Clubs are all the same. If you don’t like them, don’t fkng go to them. I’ve NEVER walked by a liquor store where something snared my arm, yanked me inside, & made me buy stuff. Of course, I’ve probably never walked by a liquor store and NOT bought something. They just plain cannot see the point that w/equal opportunity, we should have the choice to go or not go, but at least have the opportunity to choose. I will probably never (outloud) suggest that Baptist Churches be closed because I find them offensive. Nor will I suggest that the Tobacco Super-Stores be shut down. …because I don’t want the small-cased “t” burning in our front yard. (Reminds me of South Park episode #512. http://www.southparkstudios.com/show/display_episode.php?season=5&id1=512&id2=77 )

These people here are pretty God-Fearing insane. Yet they smoke like crazy, while insulting those who partake of alcohol, and they can be incredibley cruel to their animals. Aren’t puppeez and kitteez creatures of Baybee Jeebuz, too?

I'm done with Jayzuz talk.

So, speaking of animals, here's a recent photo of our cat "Mike".

He’s our “baby’; he’s about 5 now. Those squares on the comforter are 9½“ x 10½“ for comparison. Last Spring he weighed in at 26.2 lbs but I think that might be shy of his current weight. He’s so big that he is unable to “clean” his “posterior” so Pam kind of doesn’t like him up on our bed, if you catch my drift. I call our comforter his “butt blotter”. Nice, huh? Hey, if y’all ever come to visit, I’ll let him sleep w/you guys!!!

Oh, and this morning he left us this.

When Pam saw it she thought it was part of his intestines. Yes, that's a 6" ruler dwarfed beside it, and, no, he doesn't bury his goodies. I think he's proud although this one is pretty spectacular. I don't think I can pinch one out this big.

Aren't animals fun?

Geez

The Story of "Little Jimmy"

2007-01-29T17:49:00.000-06:00

Way back when I started this thing, I received my very first comment (see "My First Comment" 30 Aug 06) from my nephew Jim Keough who lives in the Atlanta area. I was especially thrilled that he'd taken the time to insult my computer skills in my own blog. Anyhow, I found I had authored a followup entry explaining why I'd referred to him as "Little Jimmy" but I buried as a draft and forgot to publish it.

Find it & read it.

The Geez

My talents never seize me.

2007-01-29T16:57:00.000-06:00

I finally put up some photos of the rain fall and resulting flood under the "You're Wet" post

Go look.

Soon, now that I'm getting really good at this photo insertion stuff, I'll add pictures of kitties & puppies.

Geez

A Followup to "Just another Sunday Morning".

2007-01-29T10:30:00.000-06:00

Moving a bookcase this morning, I caught my thumb between a decorative wood strip along the wall & the aforementioned bookcase. It ripped the surgical overwrap, the bandage, and the putrifying chunk o' thumb all in one fell, painful, messy swoop. Yeah, I tried to salvage it after I pulled it off after yesterday's shower, sheeyit did that hurt. I'm not going to try to salvage it this time. It's all grey and translucent looking and the edges were kinda' turning uppish like the toes on fairy shoes...except all the way around it. Maybe I'll put it up on Ebay...

But first, even though it's not Noon, I'll start some beer drinking to ease the pain. As Tom Butzer once said, "If you don't start drinking in the morning you can't say you've been drinking all day."

No I didn't try to cook last night--Pam wouldn't let me in the kitchen near the knives.

The Geez

Damn! I've rewrapped it...I should have gotten a tasty little photo...

Just Another Sunday Morning

2007-01-28T11:47:00.000-06:00

I spent the first part of this morning, after coffee & some newspaper reading, catching up & answering some emails. During one email I received a phone call. After my phone call, I went back to finish another section of the paper then decided to drag myself in to the shower. (I've had a flu-like bug for the last 3-4 days and have little energy.)

But first, some vital information...
last night while preparing a gourmet selection of fine frozen dishes for dinner for Pamela & me, I sliced off about a quarter of the pad of my left thumb. Deep enough to see meat and have blood squirt a minimum of 3" but in truth not a very serious injury, just very messy. I stifled the blood flow & retired to the Master Bath to dive into my supply of 3M waterproof bandages. I was able to lay the slice of fingerprint back onto the thumb pad accurately by noting and thus aligning the cut marks and fingerprint swirls. I wrapped the cut snugly in a large bandage and, once satisified that blood flow had stopped, returned to the Keough Gourmet Kitchen of Defrosting and finished preparing the dinner, which was, by the way purty damned good, all in all.

Back to the shower...
while lathering, I noticed that some blood would seep (understandably) out of the aforementioned bandage. After the shower, I decided to replace the bandage with a fresh, dry one. I carefully unwrapped the adhesive wings of the bandage and, with only the gauze pad laying (lieing(?), lying(?), remaining-in-contact) over the injured area, gave a little last tiny tug to overcome the last remaining resistance. What I DIDN'T know, was that some of the adhesive of the bandage had actually made contact & had fused to the section previously amputated. With that little tug, I found out that my screams could actually be heard by our neighbor who lives nearly 900 feet away. As it is only about 20 degrees right now, our windows are shut, their windows are closed, and, I would assume, both residential heating systems are in high (read: noisy) mode.

Holy shit that hurt....and bled. I guess I'll have a scar after all.

k

Oh...

2007-01-15T19:43:00.000-06:00

I guess I could have dragged the photos to desired locations...like this:
This is Pam, the Saint who somehow tolerates me:

And this is our psycho but sweet rescued dog, Reno:

Another Nice Mess I've Gotten Myself Into...

2007-01-15T18:11:00.000-06:00

Well, probably (okay, very likely) while under the influence of a truly premium beer (Milwaukee's Best Ice: 5.9% alc/vol: 24 12oz cans for $9.99 at the Flash Market in Thayer, MO) I foolishly declared to my adoring public that I had this blog site. Now hundreds if not thousands will be logging in to read these Holy Words.

I'm months behind in my postings and there's a pretty good chance that it will be another many months before I actually catch up and then maintain this drivel-laden site.

I'm going to try to attach a photo to this posting. It's going to suck and it's one most of you have seen. And, yes, Santa's holding a Sam Adams rather than a Milwaukee's Best IceVomit because I wanted santa to show some class.

Shit. I wanted it down here in the body of the text. God, I suck at this. I want to add an mp3 file but I guess I'll wait until I read some "instructions". I hate instructions. It only took me 6 tries to upload new firmware onto my drums (GODDAM IT! That image is supposed to be down here, too, not up there next to fkng Santa!!). Had I read the firmware's load pdf file I would have been able to do it on the 1st try. In fact, the 6th attempt WAS after I read the instructions. Went smoothly. I hate instructions. I'll bet that's why I was so successful in USAF: 3 years, 9 months, & 17 days of ecstasy there, I'll tell you.

That's it, I'm quitting for the day.

OlDood

Yeah, I'm...

2006-11-12T14:52:00.000-06:00

...way behind in posting.

Hey, I turned 60 last 28 Oct and I'm still in shock. It's like good news and bad news.

Hey, Great! I made it to 60!! Woo-hoo!!

or

Holy Fucking Shit, I'm 60.

Spent a week in Las Vegas just before my B-Day. Went there for friends' wedding. Christ, I'll have a story or two from that trip up soon....let's just say that if I apply for work anytime soon, I hope they don't drug test...

You're....wet.

2006-09-24T12:15:00.000-05:00

It was a dark and stormy night....actually it was Friday afternoon when the first storm rolled in. It was about 3pm or so & I was responding to message sent to me about Pam's GimpMobile. We are selling her current ride via EBay and I'll be flying to Minneapolis on or about the 4th of October to pick up her "new" replacement, an '05 Dodge Grand Caravan SE w/all of the bells & whistles. More on that later...or not.

Anyhow, the 1st storm rolled in w/more lightning strikes and instant thunder response than I have ever experienced...all around and, seemingly, on the house. Then the 2nd storm hit.... & the 3rd. For 15 hours, storm after storm after storm rolled through from west to east with perhaps 2 or 3 minutes of peace between them. Each one accompanied by more lightning strikes and truly deafening thunder than either Pam or I had ever experienced (I know i said that already). She grew up in the Mariannas & Hawaii, I've experienced monsoons and typhoons but these were a once in a lifetime series of storms, I hope. It was pretty unsettling. We'd hear them coming from the west, cross hard over our property and head out east. Turns out we'd received over 19 inches of rain in a 20-some hour period on our unofficial back deck rain guage. I don't know, but I think that's a shitload of rain. We have (too many) cats and because if them we buy 40# buckets of poop litter. I keep an empty one on the back deck because I've been so impressed with the high volume/short time rainfall. The top opening is 11.25" x 9" and the base is 7.75" x 10" and it's 14.5" tall. So, okay, it's not a prime rain guage because of the slight taper but actually it's pretty close. I know that the 1" depth at the bottom is not really 1" of rain, but I'll let you work it out. This thing was overflowing at 11:30 am on Saturday, I ran out and dumped it and by 4:00 pm Saturday afternoon there was another 5.5 inches. I'd say that there was real 18" of rain. I don't know how long it had been overflowing before I dumped it but who cares? 18" of rain is (only some pun intended) a boatload. The Spring River which is just north of us has a real live underground spring that is its source. It's cleverly called "Mammoth Spring" and it is at the MO/AR border about 25 miles north if here. At the River Bend RV Park, just north of us in Hardy, AR, the river level was slightly over 3 feet at 3pm on Friday afternoon. It's a great trout fishing and tubing creek. Mammoth Spring gushes 9,000,000+ gallons of water at its source. At 3am Saturday morning, the river level was 26 feet.

The original estimate of rainfall was 18 inches (at 1pm Saturday afternoon) but that was cut back to a mere 14 inches due to hail estimates...boy, did that make me feel better. I'll put up some photos of campers that had been buried in the woods by the river surge. A couple of houses were eaten by tornados just south of Ash Flat (2 miles from us) and other numerous tornados were confirmed just east of us. I put Pam and the doggie into the one internal room we have on this house.
Wet
The Geez

Like Nirvana Without Kirk...

2006-09-13T17:35:00.000-05:00

Since I resigned my job w/MGM Mirage in Las Vegas last 01 Nov 06, my life has been Nirvana (but without Kirk Cobain...oh, sorry, I guess that's redundant). But that's over now. Pam's GimpMobile has been giving us little, but costly, fits so it's up for sale and we've already put a down payment on a replacement. We purchased an '05 Dodge Grand Caravan SE w/about 26,000 mi. It's already rigged for Gimpness w/a powered ramp, remote access, etc., but we still had to order the conversion company's cool power transfer seat (kinda' comes back to meet her) and, of course, hand controls. The van, as it is now, is a staggering $32,050 and the seat thingie plus hand controls adds another adds another $2,900. Then there's taxes. I'll be flying up to MSP to pick it around 05 Oct, I hope. (I'm heading to Tucson and Las Vegas 17-23 Oct.)
So we are doing a Line-Of-Credit against the house...DAMN IT!! We have a small-ish but comfortable 1,400 sqft home on 10 acres at the very end of a dirt road in the beautiful woods in northeastern Arkansas that until now was free & clear. Yeah, we made it 9 months. We just don't have an easier way to come up w/the money necessary, so we're essentially doing a mortgage. I might ...no, I will HAVE to find a job (again). Shit. There's not a lot of anything up here so is it okay if I practice my new skills on you?

Practice Speech #1:
"Would y'all like fries with that?"

All we'll be needing is about $115/month more to break even but we don' t want to have to just break even, so I'll sacrifice my beer drinking time (& expenses) & get some sort of part-time employment for 2 years or so.

Practice Speech #2:
"Welcome to Wal*Mart, y'all!"

How'd I do? Did you really feel welcome?

Practice Speech #3:
I'm sorry, y'all, but we'all don't let Colored folks in here, I hope ya'unnerstand?"

Okay, I'm kidding about that one--DON'T LEAVE A COMMENT. IT WAS JUST A JOKE DONE IN BAD TASTE!!

Anyhow, here's a link to the Rollx Van site:
http://www.rollxvans.com/inventory.asp?VanType=1&NewVan=0
click on this and then find an '05 or '06 Caravan SE and pretend it's silver. And that Pam is at the helm w/me in the rear bench seat passed out from too many Pabst Blue Ribbon Lights... Oh, wait, I doubt if anyone can pass out from any number of PBR Lights....

The Geez

And who is 'Little Jimmy'?

2006-09-01T10:14:00.000-05:00

Little Jimmy is the son of my older brother, (also a Jim). He's probably the coolest of anybody in the whole Keough family. He came to visit Pamela & me in Las Vegas a couple of years ago and we enjoyed his company immensely. I came across him & some of his friends in the Atlanta area a few times (much to his chagrin...he thinks I'm "Obnoxious") some years back when my former employer sent me there.
I call him "Little" because I'm hoping he hates it, since he thinks I'm obnoxious.
I'm pretty much the biggest of the existing clan. I'm 6' exactly and somewhat (*ahem*) over 200 pounds. My sister is just 11 and 3/4 inches shy of 6 feet. My brother is probably about 5' 9"; not sure as I never, ever see him. Plus he's 6 years older so I didn't get to hang out w/him as a kid. My mom was at, perhaps, under 5' and dad was maybe 5'9', also. I used to think that I was adopted because I was so much different than other family members....only one with blue eyes, too.

Oh, and the "Koff" last name? That's how the unwashed, undereducated, inarticulate masses pronounce our Irish last name which may or may not have too many extra letters in it to make it really confusing.

My First Comment!

2006-08-30T15:50:00.000-05:00

I received my first comment today from my precious little nephew, Little Jimmy Koff. He's so adorable.....Thanks, Little Jimmy! Uncle Kevie wuvs you!

Proud Parents

2006-08-29T17:27:00.000-05:00

Geez, we are such suckers. We've been trying to tame some feral cats that hang around here so we can get them to the vet to be fixed and then re-released. Too late. The male is obviously the son of the female, and, yes, there's been an incestuous event down here in the Bible Belt! Holy Jayzuz, NOOOOO!!!!
A pack o' five kitties were born right around 01 Aug. We finally found where momma's been keepin' the little ones. Our neighbor across and up the road found them in her garden tool shed. Since then, one wriggled out of the shed and into the path of their El Camino (fkng ouch!). Pam & I took them yesterday and so every 4 hours, I'm in there with an eye dropper feeding them a formula I found on the Inter Webs. Here's a cutsie/nauseating photo. They've since been moved into a large dog crate in which I built (duct taped) a little second floor/balcony shelf into a back corner where they all fight to roost. I've actually seen all four of them up there at one time but generally it'll hold just two nicely.

When I picked up the kittens, I also attempted to get Momma, who would occasionally let me pet her--if there's food around-- and put her in w/the kids. I actually got her in my arms when she exploded into a cat spittle & clawing frenzy. Holy shit! I haven't bled that much since my last ice hockey game!

Momma sauntered on by this morning in search of vittles (succesfully, of course: please refer to the opening sentence) and I brought one of the kittens out to her to see if she'd nurse. She hissed, growled, and walked away. God DAYAM! Nearly every woman I've ever known has done that to me! I guess my sparkling personality has already been infused into the newbies.

Feeding time at the Keough/Hyde Zoo.

Eventually, I'll get into the exciting lives of Kevin & Pamela and regale you all with golden nuggets of wit and wisdom and stories of who we are and how we got to the Arkansas Ozark Mountain foothills.
The suspense must be killing you...
k&p

Pulitzer Prize, here I come!

2006-08-28T12:07:00.000-05:00

I hope their bandwidth can stand the heat that I'm sure my site will generate. Wow! The creativity expended just from setting this up has exhausted me; I'd best take a break.

Hang on kids, more later!!
The Geez