A Third Way

Good News & Not-Really-Bad News

2008-04-22T13:33:00.006-04:00

I have good news and not-really-bad news on my blogging scene.

Not-Really-Bad News: I've decided to put A Third Way on hiatus. Temporary hiatus.

I started this blog to detail my third-order vocation journey. And, given where I'm at with my vocation of wife and mother right now (and for a while), a third order is not in the cards. Just not now.

I don't have the time to discern, make meetings and really give myself completely over to the process, let alone postulancy. My kids are young and my time is theirs right now, not my own. I could try discernment and possibly even postulancy, I know my husband would support me, but I don't want to force it.

I want to enjoy the whole process. And I know that right now this time crunch would not let me. I'd be at meetings fearing my cell phone is gonna vibrate with the news my little boy won't go to sleep. Or I'd be looking at my watch, wondering if I can get a quick run in to the grocery store after the chapter meeting and before I get home. Unless God shows me otherwise - or drops a free nanny from the sky, lol - it ain't gonna happen for the foreseeable future.

It will happen, I know it will. I still feel very strongly called to a third order, most likely The Dominicans. But I also feel called that the time is not right currently to embark on that amazing journey. When it is time, A Third Way will be back up and running.

The Good News: I'm going to continue posting at my new blog, Contagious Catholic. I've been secretly setting this up for me - and you - over the past week. I wanted the place clean and the lights on before I invited you in. It's still not finished, but it's good for posting.

Now, the really good news. If you enjoy reading A Third Way, you'll enjoy reading Contagious Catholic because it's the same blog, just a different name. The perfectionist in me has been going crazy posting under a blog name that doesn't really fit the content. Contagious Catholic does. So, it's second verse, same as the first over there.

So please join me over at Contagious Catholic. We'll continue to have fun. And go see how I came up with the name, it's a good story.

Thanks for reading, friends.

Take that Bible off the shelf

2008-04-16T12:53:00.000-04:00

A couple of weeks ago I missed my regular 11 a.m. Mass at my parish, so I hit the 5 p.m. "last call" service in a neighboring town.

I really enjoy the priest at this parish, he has a very kind, uplifting way about him, while celebrating a beautiful, faithful Mass.

During the homily, Father had an aside that made me think. He noted, and I'm paraphrasing here:

"When you have your Bible at home, don't leave it on the shelf! Wherever you have it, leave it open so the Word of God is invited out. You should always display your Bible open."

It makes a lot of sense. A Bible buried in a bookshelf vs. a Bible displayed open on a table - it's a no-brainer as to which I would pick up more frequently.

So I've removed my study Bible from the shelf (which tells you how my, um, studying is going ;-) ) and placed it on the home altar, open. Where it should have been all along, now that I think of it!

Welcome to our home, please excuse the mess

2008-04-15T07:43:00.008-04:00

Have you ever had anyone stop by your home or office, and it's a mess?

As in, you're happy to have the company and you love to see this person, but you're mortified at the state of your surroundings?

Yes, I most certainly have. And, it's also kinda the way I feel about the Pope's visit this week.

I am so happy he's coming. We need him here so much. But I am so embarrassed by the state of my country. I love my country, it's a place of hope and still a land of opportunity.

But it's also mired in a morass of moral relativism, a place where most people are obviously living for this world, not the next. It's a country whose citizens - if you listen to the mainstream media (and I don't anymore) - have their emphasis on all the wrong things.

I don't mean to come off as holier-than-thou in this post. I don't mean to convey the message, Be like me! Rather, my point is, Be like Him! I don't feel superior to those less faithful at all. I feel sad. Sad for me, sad for our country and sad for them.

I know we're hardly the only country in the world who has seemingly abandoned its Christian roots. I just hope the Pope realizes that there are millions in this country who love him and love the Lord. Holy Father, just don't turn on the TV, OK? And, please, don't mind the mess. We're so glad to have you here.

The Lazy Afternoon of the Soul

2008-04-14T17:33:00.005-04:00

Hello friends!

I didn't mean to let my Easter vacation from the blog turn into an extended absence, but it's been a weird time, spiritually. I've felt very "blah," that's the best way I can explain it.

It's not a Dark Night of the Soul, I don't feel like God isn't there for me. I've been feeling like I'm not there for God. Prayer has been difficult, attending Mass a chore. Two things that until now I was all fired up for. It's more like The Lazy Afternoon of the Soul.

It all came to a head at the end of Lent. I was feeling very lazy, spiritually. It was sad because Easter is supposed to be such a joyous time, and I was feeling, well, tired - and lazy. I think "sloth" is technically the correct word, but you get the drift.

I attended Holy Saturday Mass, the first time I've ever been. It was so glorious, that's the only word I think of to describe it. My parish does an amazing job - full choir, brass quintet, the whole nine yards. I got there just before Mass started, and since I was feeling blah, I sat in the back, on the aisle. I usually sit in the front pew, but this time I didn't feel like it.

Ironically, it turned out to be the best place to sit as the Easter fire and candle ceremonies (is that the right word?) were right in front of me. It was so beautiful. And when Father came around hurling baptismal water into the pews, I was literally smacked in the face like a wave. It was pretty funny, and a good wake-up call!

But, alas, Holy Saturday didn't reignite the fire. I've been slowly persisting ever since. Forging ahead with prayer, attending Mass, and trying to get that fire relit. I'm not questioning the faith or having any major crisis, thankfully. It's just this kind of laziness I've got going on. It's the first time I've experienced this since my re-beginning in the faith, and I know I have to "fake it till I make it." I know I'm going through this for a reason, and I will forge ahead and get my mojo back.

It makes me think of a part of a talk on the Engaged Encounter weekend - the concept that all marriages go through cycles of romance, disillusionment and joy. This, I feel, is no different. I'm not disillusioned with the faith or with God, but rather with myself, spiritually.

Plus, I seem to be effected more recently with other worries and concerns. I know there's a direct result between not praying regularly and an increase in worry, so I need to get back on the stick in my prayer routine. The hymn in Evening Prayer Saturday really spoke to me and reassured me:

Green pastures are before me,
Which yet I have not seen;
Bright skies will soon be o'er me,
Where the dark clouds have been.
My hope I cannot measure,
The path to life is free;
My Savior has my treasure,
And he will walk with me.

I think one thing I'll do (in addition to regular prayer) is start making some Rosaries. I haven't made any in ages, and it will help me get excited again, maybe grace through osmosis?

So that's the deal from here. I'm working on getting myself spiritually back in shape. Any suggestions - and prayers - are most welcome!

Divine Mercy Novena starts today

2008-03-21T00:01:00.001-04:00

Before I log off for the Triduum, I wanted to remind you that the Divine Mercy Novena starts today!

I totally forgot, but was reminded - thankfully - in a couple places yesterday. Phew!

Two years ago I prayed the Novena for a big decision in my life and was incredibly graced.

So, for now, time to dig out my Divine Mercy prayerbook and wish you all a prayerful weekend and a joyful Easter!

I took the picture at the top of this post in September 2006 at the Divine Mercy Shrine in Stockbridge, Mass. I forgot to set the flash on the camera, and took this from the top steps looking in.

Play date apologetics

2008-03-20T13:54:00.002-04:00

Did the transubstantiation come up in your play date today?

It did in mine. Seriously, I don't know what it is about me. I think God is trying to tell me something.

Another play date, another round of Do-I-or-Don't-I Apologetics.

The kids and I were over another mom's house for the first time. She's lovely, so are the kids. The first playgroup was at our place, so we do know a little bit about each other.

We started talking about Easter plans and I mentioned it would be a long day for the kids as we start with church, then head over to my brother's, etc.

The mom said she hadn't taken her children to church yet because she was unsure of how they'd do. I told her a little about our parish, how it's very family-friendly, etc. I mentioned the name, and the mom says, "That's Catholic, right?" (Anyone else have a habit of assuming everyone is Catholic?) Turns out she (no religion growing up) and her husband (ex-Catholic) are Episcopalian.

The moms says she has attended Mass with her in-laws, but feels out of place because she can't take Communion. At this point, the flashing red police-car light is going off wildly in my head because I'm afraid of where this is going,

In a totally curious (not mean) way, the mom says, "I wonder why that is because Protestants let everyone take Communion."

There we are, sitting on the floor together, the kids playing, and I have half a second to figure out whether to kindly explain or pretend I don't know the background on one of the major splits in Christianity.

I jumped in nicely.

"Well, Catholics (I pointedly didn't say 'we' so as not to sound defensive or snobby) believe the bread and wine actually become Jesus' body and blood. So it wouldn't be right for others who don't believe the same to take Communion."

I said it as nicely, gently and non-confrontationally as I could. It was the first time I ever had the guts to do a little apologetics/explanation.

The mom said, "Oh, wow," kinda like "I didn't know that" and we moved on.

Here's hoping next week God doesn't throw apostolic succession in between potty training and toddler eating habits chat.

Natural Family Planning: Too Good and So True, Part 2

2008-03-17T15:25:00.006-04:00

In the comments on Part 1, Stevie noted, "I love NFP conversion stories."

What a great term - "NFP conversion story" - because that's certainly what it is, I just never thought of it like that.

Anyway, after we had our first daughter, we hoped to be blessed with more. Ironically, while it took us 1.5 years to conceive our daughter, once we decided to conceive our son it happened almost immediately. This left our little ones 1.5 years apart. And while we hope to be blessed with more, we now would like to have at least 2 years between our son and future sibling (God willing).

Given we were always trying to conceive previously, we never had to worry about postponing pregnancy. Now that we are, we were led to NFP.

We've completed two of the three classes with our Couple to Couple League instructors and it's really amazing.

Going in, we were both a little "Um, is it going to be weird talking about this stuff with strangers?" But it wasn't. The couple is very real, funny and down-to-earth. The charting and interpretation are easy to learn - especially since I'm the type of person who likes to read material on my own and also be instructed in person.

Every morning, the alarm goes off at 6:30 a.m. and my husband rolls over and hands me the thermometer. I give him the reading, he writes it down, then we both try to catch a few more Zzzzzs. It takes about a minute and a half.

Twice a day (afternoon and before bed) I check myself for signs of fertility. Total, that takes about a minute. My husband charts the info, and we both know where we are in my fertility cycle. We've invested 2.5 minutes out of the day and gained so much in terms of communication, closeness and more.

When I read up on NFP earlier, it was via a secular book. The approach is the same, but the book lacks the all-important theology behind NFP. At the time, I was reading the book, taking my temp, checking my signs and charting. It was all me. And given I hadn't any instruction or anyone to answer questions, I got discouraged and stopped practicing it. Plus, all the work was on me.

Now my husband and I are a team when it comes to fertility. We have our roles (he also does the charting), and every day we know where we are at with fertility, which leads us to discuss, "Are we open to life today?" This makes what was my fertility, our fertility, which is pretty amazing.

Since we started practicing just a couple months ago, we've discussed things we have never talked about before. We've learned so much about fertility and reproduction, we're both amazed. After nearly 10 years of marriage and 5 years presenting marriage prep, I thought we talked about everything. Not so! This has opened up a whole other area of openness, honesty and mutual decision making. Wow.

Our teachers told us an amazing stat at the last class. The divorce rate among all married couples today is, what, 50% at least? The divorce rate among those who practice NFP is 3%.

You can't beat that.

I'd encourage every couple to give NFP a try. I honestly think, in just my limited experience, that once you try it you'll love it. Check the CCL Web site for more information on classes in your area, or call your diocese's family life office.

Also, I think it would be a great thing for single women to practice. Granted, you have to do all the work yourself (and even that is not much, less than 5 minutes a day), but it will give you an amazing, accurate look at your cycle and body. If your cycle ever gets irregular or you think you may be having gynecological issues, you will have all the data to take to your GYN for his or her thoughts. And when you're married and ready to achieve pregnancy, you'll be an expert on your own fertility and cycle.

In fact, during my first month of charting, my body temps were very, very low. So low, in fact, my instructor advised me to have my thyroid checked. I've got an appoint to meet with my doctor in 2 weeks to do just that. When I see him I can say, "I think my thyroid may be sluggish. Here are my waking temperatures for the past 60 days, what do you think?" Pretty cool.

The one reason to be Catholic

2008-03-15T18:48:00.006-04:00

I was reading my diocese's newspaper today and saw Dr. Ray Guarendi addressed the annual Men's Conference.

He had this awesome quote at the end of the story:

“There’s only one reason to be Catholic. It’s not because you like the priest; it’s not because they have great conferences; it’s not because you grew up Catholic, Italian or Polish, and that’s what you were, and that’s what you were baptized as a baby, and your family would kill you if you do anything else.

"The reason to be Catholic is because it’s true. If it’s not true, go do whatever you want. But if it is true, it’ll be the most important thing you ever do in your life, because everything else in your life ends.”

Natural Family Planning: Too Good and So True, Part 1

2008-03-13T08:45:00.010-04:00

My husband and I are just completing our first month of practicing Natural Family Planning, and my only regret is we haven't been practicing it since we got married 9.5 years ago.

First, a little backstory on our history in this department:

When we first got married (and before that), I was on birth control pills. I was Catholic in Name Only, rarely went to Mass, and saw no problem with The Pill. I, obviously (and stupidly), was not a student of Pope John Paul II's Theology of the Body.

I went off The Pill a year after we were married because I heard that it could take your body up to 2 years to conceive after getting off The Pill (I have no idea if that's true, BTW). We didn't want to have our children immediately (as if we ultimately had any say, anyway), but I physically wanted to be ready when "the time was right." Again, not when God decided the time was right, but we when we did. *sigh*

In 2003, we decided we were "ready," and for the next 1.5 years we could not conceive. We used a fertility monitor, and despite using it faithfully and having it tell us when I was fertile, I still was not pregnant. I considered practicing NFP at that time, as I had heard NFP was 90% effective in helping couples achieve pregnancy after practicing it for 6 months (that is a true stat). I tried it (and those who practice NFP will notice the wrong pronouns in this sentence and the previous one), but thought it was too much work.

At this point, we were both very, very discouraged. We were good people, why wasn't God blessing us with a pregnancy?

Yes, we were basically good people. We were kind and charitable, and did lots and lots of Catholic volunteer work together. But did we go to Mass? Not consistently. Did we pray - together or alone? Not that much. Did I realize this at the time? Um, no.

Instead, I got quite mad at God. I stopped using the monitor (since it wasn't working anyway) and we decided to take a break from trying to conceive as it was stressing and bumming us out. My husband made an appointment to get tested to see if physically anything was wrong with him; he encouraged me to do the same, but I hesitated.

Inside, I was still pretty mad at God. It was brutal to be around families and friends with children (and if you've been unable to conceive, you know what I'm talking about). Many of my friends and family were having babies and it was killing me. It was a constant reminder of what He was denying us. I remember telling Him, very angrily, "You know what? I GIVE UP. Whatever. Give us a baby or don't. It's up to you."

I was pregnant the next month - without planning to conceive, using a monitor or having any idea where I was in my cycle. Three months later, I made a full reversion to my faith via the Rosary and the Blessed Mother.

Looking back, I believe that infertile time was not a punishment from God, but a much-needed wake-up call. Pretty much the minute I angrily humbled myself before Him, he graced us with a pregnancy. I can imagine Him saying, "There. That's all I needed to hear. Now, I don't like the tone, but..."

My husband and I were good people, yes. But we weren't humble. Like many today, we thought we controlled it all. We made excellent money, owned a home, two nice cars and traveled pretty much wherever we wanted. But the one thing we really wanted, we couldn't buy. It has to be given to us - and not on our timetable or schedule.

My husband and I are very active in Catholic Engaged Encounter. We present weekends, and I frequently tell the engaged (almost all professionals in their late 20s and 30s these days, the same people as us at that time) an abbreviated version of this story to convey they have to find that humility in their lives. They can't plan everything and life is not on their timetable or schedule. When you're a professional and you work for everything you have and achieve it, it's easy to think you can control everything. But that is very much not the case.

OK, what originally was supposed to be a post about NFP is now very long on history and short on NFP. I'll make this Part 1, and next time write about how much we're loving NFP.

What should I have said? If anything...

2008-03-11T15:29:00.007-04:00

My kids had a playdate with some new friends today. We met through a local club and headed over to their house for the first time to play.

The mom, who I just met in person today (we had been emailing to try and get together), is super nice and the kids are great, too. As I walked into the living room I spied two large iron crosses on the wall. Alright! I thought.

As we went through the kitchen I saw a few Blessed Mother magnets on the fridge, the kind you get via donation letters from various orders. Even better!

Later we were sitting in the kitchen and doorbell rings. The mom looks out the window and says, "It's the Jehovah's Witnesses." (They had just been in my neighborhood the following day, I just didn't answer the door.) But this mom went to the door and told them that while she respected their zeal for their faith, she was quite happy with her own, thank you.

When she came back in, I noted I know of a few people who have studied JW theology and have Catholic answers at the ready to show them where they're in error. I said to the mom, "You're Catholic, right?"

"Oh, I'm Catholic," she smiles. "I don't go to Mass, so that means I'm Catholic!"

The mom said that as a joke, and I smiled out of politeness and/or shock, but I was so sad inside. Not offended, but sad. I know the majority of Catholics don't go to Mass these days (80% is the figure I've heard mentioned by Fr. Corapi), but I'm sad to see my fellow Catholics buy into that "It's OK" mentality. "Everyone's doing it, so am I."

She went on to mention she hadn't been to Mass since her daughter was baptized (*sigh* again) and that it was too difficult with two children under 3. Given I have two children under 3, I can relate. Yes, it is hard, but at least go yourself, right?

The whole exchange bummed me out inside. I hate to see people of the Faith settle for less than they are - and for much less than the Faith offers. I pray this mom - and all who find themselves unmoved by the Spirit, receive the grace to catch a fire and want to go to Mass, for themselves and their children. Because if it weren't for the Spirit hitting me over the head nearly 3 years ago, that'd be me. Literally, there but for the grace of God, go I.

So in the end, I didn't say anything to this Mom on this topic, other than I know how hard it is to have two little ones at Mass. Do you think I should have encouraged her to start attending Mass or tried to get her excited about the faith? Remember, I just met this woman that day. I'd appreciate your thoughts.

Here comes the sun...

2008-03-10T16:57:00.005-04:00

After a few days of R&R (or as much as I can get with the kiddies), I feel a lot better.

The skies are brightening off this nasty fortnight, and I'm feeling a bit refreshed. Not helping matters was the fact I've also been feeling spiritually dry. I let prayer slip away and haven't said the Rosary in ages, and I felt very slothful. Not sure if that's a word or the correct one for what I'm describing, but I think it is.

But a couple cool things have me on the upswing.

First, everyone's healthy and back to normal. Huzzah!

Second, I spent an hour with our deacon yesterday learning how to pray Morning and Evening Prayer! After the class fell through, I figured I had to cut to the chase and ask around at church. I called the parish office and spoke with the Deacon, who was very sweet and agreed to teach me the basics after 11 a.m. Mass Sunday.

Since then I've prayed Evening and Morning Prayers, and although I think I may be missing an Antiphon here and forgetting a Glory Be there, I think I have the basics covered.

There's been a lot of flipping around (especially since I have the one-volume Christian Prayer), but I figure the more I do it, the better I'll get. I'm still a little hazy on Feast Days, Memorials and such, but I think I can figure it out when they arrive. Plus, I do have this book which will help.

So, so far, so good. It wasn't easy getting here, but I'm on my way.

Thanks to everyone who left supportive words. There's not many people I know who could understand my disappointment in that class falling through, but if you're reading this blog I know you do. Thank you again!

Difficulty, disappointment abounds

2008-03-04T10:55:00.004-05:00

Little did I know how eerily prescient my last post would be.

Long-story short, my son's cold turned out to be RSV, a dangerous respiratory virus in children under a year. He began having trouble breathing Friday night, so I took him to the ER. He was admitted and we got home last night.

He's much better now, and as always I'm so thankful for nurses and doctors. I was once again struck by how The Big Three (faith, hope and love) are in such evidence in a hospital. I'll blog more about that in a few days.

But, I gotta say I've been feeling a little under attack the past couple of weeks. It's been a very Murphy's Law-ish time, and I'm wondering when I'll catch a break.

Then, to top it all off, tomorrow's long-awaited, much anticipated, dying-for class on how to pray the Liturgy of the Hours was cancelled! I can't tell you how incredibly disappointed I am.

Turns out they only had 2 people register and decided not to hold the class. Today I spoke with the Sister who was to teach the class, and she's not sure when they'll hold it again. To be honest, I don't know why she wouldn't still teach it with just 2 people, but I was so bummed out I didn't even ask. I'm very discouraged, I've been looking forward to this for nearly two months, and my husband even got the day off from work to watch the kids so I could go.

I've been trying to make sense of why it would be cancelled. I don't know why God would make it so difficult for me to learn how to pray the Divine Office, but He must have another better plan in mind. I have faith it will work out the way it's supposed to, but it doesn't help that much with the disappointment right now.

I haven't fallen off the face of the Earth...

2008-02-27T10:03:00.004-05:00

Just a note I probably won't be posting again until next week.

Last week, my husband and I gave an Engaged Encounter retreat, so I was out straight preparing for that.

Now that we're back not only am I dog-tired, but our son's got a nasty cold, and a client who hasn't given me work since November picked this week to do so. I want to encourage more frequent work from this person, so I can't really turn this opportunity down, however ill-timed it is on my end.

So, long story short, no time to really write this week.

However, a friend sent me this fantastic, encouraging column Why We Are Not Losing the Battle".

Being a faithful Catholic is not fruitless! You are doing good! Read this column, it'll make your day. It sure made mine.

Catholic Carnival 160: For Catholic bloggers, it's always Lent

2008-02-19T00:01:00.007-05:00

Lent is a season of reflection. We're called to be quiet, to be still and to draw closer to Christ.

When you think about the season as such, you realize that when it comes to Catholic blogging, it's always Lent. Catholic bloggers are, well...we're rarely quiet. We're rarely still. But, we do seek to draw closer to Christ constantly. We think, we share, and we write. And, boy, do we learn!

So sit back, grab a nice, cool drink and enjoy the past week of Catholic blogging, in which we're all seeking to draw closer to Christ. And thank the Lord for that.

At the end of Lent looms the Cross. Cathy_of_Alex looks ahead to the end of these 40 days by reflecting on the cross - with or without a corpus.

Dovetailing nicely, Adoro te Devote tackles a hard subject to view and ponder (but one we must), the blood of Christ on the Cross, and the significance of that to you.

Elena at My Domestic Church says one of the best gifts we can give our children is a brother or sister. Bookmark this one for the days your kids don't agree, and Elena will get them to see the light.

Kevin at Heart Mind and Strength examines the Mass readings for the second sunday of Lent, sharing how God's promises to Abraham relates to the Transfiguration.

I love a good Mary story. Do you have one? Heidi at Behold Your Mother: A Blog for "Mary's Girls" invites you to share a story, quote, thought, or prayer to or about our Blessed Mother.

Red Neck Woman's always working the Catholic Spitfire Grill, this week serving up A Bug on the Windshield of Truth. What do you tell someone who had decided to embrace the Fullness of the Faith, only to meet with an RCIA team that thinks it's OK to take nips and tucks in it?

Valentine's Day is once a year, but in our faith we've got our Saints and their love every day. Jean at Catholic Fire shares her favorite quotes on love from a dozen different saints.

Sarah writes about something I've considered: bringing little ones to Adoration. However, Sarah showed a lot more faith than me, and has a beautiful experience to share in When Jesus Takes the Time to Call.

Steven at Book Reviews and More takes a look at Michael Dubruiel's book The Church's Most Powerful Novenas, dubbing it "a great little treasure!" I agree with Steven. I'm a big fan of all of Dubruiel's books, and this one is no exception.

Over at Mommy Monsters, Heidi reports from the front lines of the Great No-TV-For-Lent Experiment, which took an unexpected turn.

Teresa (and her Two Cents) shares what I always think are the best lessons - those learned through prayer.

David at Apostolate of the Laity examines why some find wanting eternal life difficult in From Eternity to Here.

Fasting always gets a lot of attention at Lent, and Daniel at Living Catholicism takes a look at it via The Power of Fasting as Prayer. I've always associated fasting with penance, and this post really made me look at fasting in a whole new way.

As Catholics we're called to be in this world, but not of this world. Mary's Aggies tackle this with a reflection on the meaning of the Human Person in light of the Incarnation, and what it means to have an identity in Christ rather than the answers that modern culture has for us.

You see the Mass Intentions for the week in your parish bulletin, and during each Mass you hear the person or persons for whom it's being offered. But do you know how Mass Intentions are made and why we make them? Fr. V gets us up to speed with Good Intentions.

Given I live outside the great city of Boston, you can be sure I'll be checking out Sean's interview with Zina Gomez-Liss, who has just launched Catholic City with Zina, a video podcast exploring the Catholic history and Culture of her hometown of Boston.

Sieglinde at Eastward Catholic Soldiers, looks at a movie I've been meaning to Netflix, Into the Great Silence. But, warning, there are spoilers, so if you don't want to be spoiled, read this post after you see the movie.

Catholic homeschooler Kelly shares her experience with The White Ram , a picture book about a white ram made by God on the sixth day of creation for a single purpose. What's the single purpose? I don't want to ruin it; go check out that post. ;-)

Have a continued thoughtful Lent, friends, and thanks for reading.

Catholic podcasts to check out

2008-02-18T10:26:00.007-05:00

What's that old poem? When I Am An Old Woman, I Shall Wear Purple?

When I am an old woman, I will listen to all the podcasts in my music library.

I have more podcasts than time these days, but it doesn't stop me from downloading more as 1) They're great and 2) They're free.

EWTN offers most of their shows in podcast format, so if you miss the show on broadcast, you can always listen to it later on your computer.

This month, EWTN has several fantastic shows I wanted to let you know about. I think they look great (of course, I haven't listened to any yet...LOL), and I thought you may want to download them, too.

Sunday Night Live (2/10): Fr. Benedict Groeschel and guest Elizabeth Ficocelli discussed "Our Lady of Lourdes Understanding Apparitions". Ficocelli is the author of Lourdes - Font of Faith, Hope and Charity, which sounds like a good read as I love Lourdes stories.

EWTN Bookmark (2/10): Doug Keck talked with Fr. Andrew Apostoli, Vice-Postulator for the Cause of Canonization of Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen, on the new book "Archbishop Fulton Sheen's St. Therese - A Treasured Love Story," which you know I loved.

EWTN Vatican Insider (2/8): Joan Lewis, EWTN News Rome Bureau Chief, welcomes author and blogger Donna-Marie Cooper O'Boyle.

Web of Faith, Season 2: Hosted by Frs. Levis and Trigilio, there are 13 30-minute episodes covering common questions about the faith, such as Confession, holding hands during the Our Father, the proper way to receive Communion and much more.

You can subscribe to the EWTN podcasts en masse or individually show-by-show on their Podcasts Page. Or you can subscribe via iTunes, which for me is much easier. You don't need an iPod to use iTunes, you can listen right off your computer.

When I am an old woman, I shall not wear purple. I will not have time to change into anything purple as I will be stuck behind my Mac still trying to catch up on a lifetime of podcasts.

Debunking the 'Church of No'

2008-02-17T13:54:00.006-05:00

I've heard that the Catholic Church is the "Church of No."

Thou shalt not this, thou shalt not that, etc.

And for a long time, I kinda agreed with that. There are a lot of rules and regulations behind what we do. But until starting a couple of years ago, I never learned the most important stuff: Why we do want we do. Why the rules and regs are in place.

But, after re-beginning in the faith, I realized it's very ignorant to consider it the "Church of No" if you don't know the "why" behind it.

What made me think of this recently was a discussion I had with another Catholic over Theology of the Body. I remember when I read Christopher West's book Theology of the Body for Beginners, I saw the subtitle:

A Basic Introduction to Pope John Paul II's Sexual Revolution

I thought, What? God love the Pope, but, umm, how exactly is he an authority on sex?

Then I read the book. Boom. Lightbulb time. I could not believe how wrong I was in what I thought was the Church's position on sex. After I read that book, I understood why sex before marriage is wrong, why natural family planning is the best method of fertility management, why birth control is wrong, how chastity for all really works, and much more. It all made sense - so much sense.

I realized that most Catholics - and non-Catholics when you think of it - don't know the why behind what the Church teaches. Why we ask for the intercession of the saints. Why we venerate Mary. Why we fast. Why priests cannot be married. The list goes on and on and on.

It all makes me think of that famous quote from Archbishop Fulton Sheen:

"There are not over a hundred people in the United States who hate the Catholic Church. There are millions, however, who hate what they wrongly believe to be the Catholic Church."

We truly have a responsibility to know our faith as best we can so we can gently set people (Catholic or not) straight on the issues they misinterpret or misunderstand. I think this is a lifelong endeavor - learning what we need to know to straighten out misconceptions. Let's undertake it together and do the best we can to at least pass along the true "Whys" to those who question. If people then still disagree with the Church, that's fine, it's their soul. But at least they shouldn't be ignorant of the truth.

And, if you haven't read that West book I mentioned above. Check it out. It is amazing, and one I think every Confirmation candidate should read and understand. I know I will be going over it with my children when the time comes.

40 Days for Life: Planned Parenthood gets antsy

2008-02-12T09:06:00.000-05:00

This is very cool.

I got my local Pro-Life group's e-mail last night and it noted the following:

"The Vigil continues, on Saturday dozens of people showed up during the morning. During Fr. Becker's Mass, a Worcester police officer confronted the vigil prayers outside and said they were violating the Abortion Buffer Zone Law – even though we were on Problem Pregnancy [the local Pro-Life group's] property! The police officer had to meet Rod Murphy inside of our building, his police radio blaring during the Gospel reading (Lk5:27-32 the call of Matthew Levi the Tax Collector), in order to be convinced that it was our property."

Gee, I wonder who called the cops?

I got a deal for you, abortionists: If the sight of people peacefully praying on their own property bothers you so much, you stop killing babies, we'll stop praying near your building. Deal?

This is fantastic, the abortionists were upset enough to call the police. Let's keep it up, friends! Peaceful prayer works, and in addition to hopefully saving lives, bugging the hell out of the Planned Parenthood gang is just a bonus. ;-)

Building an inexpensive home altar

2008-02-11T20:35:00.000-05:00

Growing up in the '70s and '80s, I didn't know anyone who had a home altar. In fact, if you had a Crucifix on the wall, you were pretty religious in my book.

After re-embracing the faith and trying to practice it as best I can, I've learned about so many cool - and sadly seemingly-rare - traditions found in Catholic homes. One that I think is wonderful is the home altar.

But with a 2-year-old and an infant, a traditional home altar (table, altar cloth, etc.) wouldn't last long in my house. In fact, I can barely keep my daughter out of the dog's dish, so a poor altar wouldn't stand a chance. I can just see her pulling on the altar cloth, with Crucifixes, holy cards and candles a-rainin' down.

Yet I figured there had to be a compromise somewhere. I tucked the idea back in my head, and it has returned complete with answers. Woo hoo!

First: Where to put it? A stand-alone table, even small, is out of the question due to the Toddler Factor, so I decided on the hutch in the dining room. It holds family photos and my grandmother's tea set, and I figured a small altar in the middle would look lovely - and out of reach of a tiny trouble-magnet.

Second: What to do about the altar cloth? The hutch is too small for a table cloth and, again, I needed something small hands couldn't reach, grab and pull. The compromise: Placemats. I went to Linens-N-Things and bought basic, but pretty, mats in green, white, blue, red and purple, to reflect the liturigcal colors of the year. The mats were only $2.99 each and are just big enough to hold a standing Crucifix, holy card holder and candle.

Third, I found a small standing Crucifix at Autom.com.

Fourth: I had a lot of fun going holy card shopping. Each month I hit my local Catholic bookstore and try to find holy cards for the major feasts of the month.

And, lastly, for the finishing touches, I added a small votive.

I love the idea of a home altar, as it'll be a way to share and teach feast days and special Church celebrations with my children. Then, hopefully, they'll grow up a little more catechized than their Mom.

A small Editor's Note: If you look closely, you'll notice something's off with the altar photos - the "altar cloth" is green. The reason is I've had this post written for a while, but I kept forgetting to post it, so these photos are from the fall (hence the St. Cecilia holy card on the altar, too). I did get home from Mass last week, glance at the altar and say, "Hey, I have to change to purple again!"

40 Days for Life: On the front line

2008-02-09T20:56:00.000-05:00

Until this morning, "Pray for the unborn" was just a thought, a nice prayer in my life.

I prayed for the first time outside an abortion clinic today, as part of the 40 Days for Life campaign. What a sobering experience. And empowering. And profane - but more on that one later.

The Pro-Lifers in my area are a faithful group. Their office is located right next door to Planned Parenthood, and the group's parking lot overlooks that of PP. If you stand in the Pro-Life parking lot, you face everyone parking in the PP lot and going into the building. The locals have been praying in front of PP on Saturdays for years. When I showed up and noted I was doing so for 40 Days for Life, one of the regulars said, "Oh, yeah. That's right, that's started. Good!"

For months, I've been meaning to join them on a Saturday morning, but it hasn't worked out for me. But I finally made it happen, taking a vigil shift in 40 Days for Life, this morning 8 a.m.-9 a.m.

I arrived just before 8 a.m. to find one man. By 8:30 a.m. there were a dozen people silently praying, including a dad and his daughter, who pray on Saturdays as part of a Lenten devotion. There were two priests, including one who quietly knelt on the literally freezing ground, in the snow, for 30 minutes praying.

Since I had never done this before, I followed the lead of others. I grabbed a "She's a Child, Not a Choice" placard and hung it around my neck. I stood alone at the end of the Pro-Life lot, not facing PP, but rather the oncoming cars on the very busy two-way street.

I stood there in the 20-something degree weather, bundled up in a heavy jacket, gloves and hat. I discovered it's very difficult, if not impossible, to pray a Rosary while wearing gloves. I held the Rosary in my bare hand, in my pocket, for warmth, and prayed a Divine Mercy Chaplet as the cars sped by.

As the cars passed, I tried to make eye contact with the drivers or passengers. Not in a mean way, or a showy way, but a "Yes, abortion is reality" way. The sight of a person wearing a big placard at 8 a.m. definitely got their attention.

Most of the drivers and passengers just stared. Two young men (in separate cars) gave me the finger. Another driver (another young man) in the opposite lane, rolled down his window, leaned out, looked at me and yelled "FUCK YOU, FAGGOT!" Then gave me the finger, too, for good measure.

I apologize for the language, but I think it's important to convey the reality - the hatred - of it all. I gotta say, I was shocked to be hit with such vitriol. But then I was somewhat OK with it, it was like a badge of honor in my mind. Heap the abuse on me, I thought, not the unborn.

What surprised me was not the sentiment of those men, but the fact it came from exclusively men. Young men. Of the women who drove by, no one made any gesture at me - or shouted anything. Why were the men so offended (and these were not teens, but grown men) they had to flip me off or curse at me?

I should note, though, that one man drove by and raised his fist in a solidarity-type gesture. So in about 20 minutes, I got 3 middle fingers, a major-league cursing and one "You go!" supportive fist. I moved off the driveway spot after about 20 minutes not due to the drivers, but because traffic was diverted around the street as a car accident occurred a few blocks down.

No traffic was coming my way to face, so I moved over to pray the Rosary with others overlooking the PP lot. Unfortunately the car accident didn't stop the PP clients from getting to the building.

So I watched as they came, escorted into the building by a security guard/doorman. It was Saturday, and Saturday, the regular vigil-ers told me, was "Abortion Day." I watched women - every one young - drive in accompanied by men, friends and even a mother.

They came out of their cars and hung their heads, staring at the ground, not even attempting to make eye contact. One couple must have parked around the block and walked, and unwittingly took the worst possible shortcut for them - right through our lot. They walked by us silently, heads hung, as we prayed for them and their unborn child.

I may be naive, as I am new to this fight, but there's one major thing I don't understand: If these women so believe in their "right" to abort their child, why couldn't they look us in the eyes? Or even lift their heads? Their body language spoke volumes. If they were scared or guilty or felt terrible about what they were about to commit, why couldn't they stop and realize there is a better way, there are resources to help?

I don't want to judge these women, as I can't imagine being in their position. It must be petrifying to be put in a situation in which killing their child is their "best" option. I can't imagine it, and I feel so terrible for them. I've been thinking about those women all day, ever since they left. How are they feeling tonight physically, emotionally, spiritually? It must be horrific.

I watched perhaps a dozen babies carried into a nondescript building this morning in their mother's womb, supposedly the safest place in the world. I left at 9 a.m., so I was not there to confirm this, but I fear for every one of those babies it was a one-way trip.

I feel terrible for those little lost souls. I feel terrible for their mothers. I just feel terrible, period.

Pray for the unborn. It has a whole new meaning tonight.

Lent: The beginning of the beginning

2008-02-08T14:22:00.000-05:00

Been a very Lent-y week around these parts.

Our oil tank went belly-up and we had to have a wall demolished in our basement to get it out.

The Patriots played like junk and lost the Super Bowl. (And the sun hasn't shone in Massachusetts since - something I believe is not a coincidence.) I've been so disconsolate about the loss, I haven't watched TV or listened to the radio since Sunday night. Detachment from the world is not a bad virtue after all...

Our cable modem went down, stripping us of phone and Internet access for 48 hours, completing my detachment from the world. Embarrassingly, this bothered me a lot. (The lack of 'Net access, not so much the phone.)

My car radio went berzerk, but seems to have (thankfully) righted itself.

It's been a loooong week here.

However, I started Lent with a great Mass, and Father gave us a lot to chew on. He talked about the practice of giving something up for Lent. Paraphrasing, he said "Giving something up is great, but does that bring you any closer to Jesus?"

He reminded us that Lent is not some sort of 40-day "endurance test," but rather a time to grow closer to God. I know that's true, and it's always good to hear it, to be reminded of that so-obvious-it's-easy-to-forget fact.

So, with Lent approaching, I had to decide what to do. I chose two:

Participate in my area 40 Days for Life. My first prayer shift is tomorrow and I hope to do one hour a week. I wish I could stand vigil more, but it's all I can give this time. And I guess something is better than nothing. I'll report back on how it goes.

Renew my Total Consecration. The past two times I've tried to renew, I've lost steam part way through. When thinking back, I realize each time I was also in the middle of a 54-day Rosary novena, so spiritually it was too tough a load. This time I will have "just" Total Consecration, so I should be able to fully commit myself and finish the 33-day cycle (which begins Wednesday, Feb. 20).

And while it's not "officially" part of my Lenten project list, I've been reading The Fulfillment of All Desire by Ralph Martin. Wow, what a book. I'm about halfway through it. I'll "review" it for you once it's done. But, so far, wow.

Oh, and two stories you should check out:

One really funny, one really inspiring!

Why's Easter so early this year?

2008-02-06T21:41:00.000-05:00

How early is Easter this year?

As they say in these parts "Wicked early." Or, phonetically, "Wickid aahlee."

Regardless of how you say it, this year Easter will be celebrated on March 23, the earliest (or "ahhliest") since 1913. Fun Catholic trivia, that. Feel free to impress your friends. ;-)

If, like me, you're a "known" Catholic among your friends, etc., you may be asked "Why is Easter so early?"

As as not to supply my usual "Umm, erm, good question!" I found the answer from Catholic News Service:

"At the Council of Nicaea in 325, all the Churches agreed that Easter, the Christian Passover, should be celebrated on the Sunday following the first full moon (14 Nisan) after the vernal equinox. Because of the different methods of calculating the 14th day of the month of Nisan, the date of Easter in the Western and Eastern churches is not always the same."

Seriously, you will sound so wickid smaaaht if you roll that out on anyone who asks. Check out that Catholic News Service article for more fun facts.

Learning The Liturgy of the Hours

2008-02-04T14:23:00.000-05:00

I am very excited, as my copy of Christian Prayer will soon be coming down off my bookshelf for good. I'm (finally) going to learn to pray the Liturgy of the Hours!

Last summer, I wrote about the possibility of attending a local class to learn how to pray the LOTH (an acro I almost always read as "LOTR" - Lord of the Rings). I have a book on learning the Divine Office (The Divine Office for Dodos - a new edition is due out in April), but I'm the type of learner who really needs to be personally walked through something, too. Especially something as tricky as LOTH.

Anyway, I was hoping to take that LOTH class at The Marian Center, but unfortunately the timing didn't work out.

Last month, I received the upcoming Marian schedule for the first half of 2008, and what are they offering again but the 3-hour LOTH class! I've already registered (and set up babysitting) and I am ready to go for next month. I can't wait.

I learned about The Divine Office when first reading the Rosary Army Forums in 2005. I bought my copy of Christian Prayer at perhaps the worst time - I was 9 months pregnant with our first child. I wanted to learn how to pray it, and I knew I wouldn't have time to learn for a while (which in reality was, um, 2 years), but I wanted a copy anyway.

And there it has sat on my shelf waiting to come down. Next month, I'll be able to make that happen. I'll report back on how it goes.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst

2008-02-03T14:18:00.000-05:00

As I sat listening to The Gospel this morning, it made me think of the upcoming 40 Days for Life campaign:

Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.

I first heard of 40 Days for Life last fall, when it made a big nationwide splash. I wanted to participate, but there were no campaigns in my area.

This year they're holding one nationwide during Lent and another in the fall, and there is a campaign in my area! I'm hoping to get out once a week to take a prayer hour in front of the local abortuary (I won't use the euphemism "Planned Parenthood") to pray for the unborn and, hopefully, a change of heart for their parents.

This will be my first time taking a public, prayerful stance on this. I am excited for the opportunity and only wish I had more time to take more prayer hours.

Want to get involved?

You can check to see if there's a local campaign in your area and sign up for a time to pray.

If there's not one in your area, you can always fast and/or pray at home. Click here for a series of 40 short devotionals (one for each day) for the entire campaign.

When I look at the secular world's view of abortion, it is so discouraging. Sometimes it seems as if it will never come to an end and people will never be enlightened to the true horror.

But as I sat in Mass this morning and heard "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied," I realized that one day - God-willing soon - it will end. We just have to keep employing the Big Three: faith, hope and love.

Prayer for Financial Difficulties

2008-02-02T12:14:00.001-05:00

Before we had children, my husband and I both worked full-time.

We had good-paying jobs that allowed us to travel, pay our bills, save some money, contribute to charity and, for the most part, buy whatever we wanted (within reason).

When we had our daughter, I wanted to work part-time, allowing me to still work a few days a week to contribute financially, but also keep our child out of day care full-time. When our son followed 1.5 years later, I wanted to stay home full-time. We could scrape by on one salary, and the kids could be out of the day care loop all together. Plus, I would get to spend those precious years with the kids - ones we would never be able to get back.

Sometimes I have found it hard to adjust to our new financial lifestyle. I still books and goodies here and there, but it's greatly reduced from our earlier disposable income budget. I love the choices we've made, in terms of allowing me to be a stay-at-home mom, but old purchasing habits die hard.

When I opened our parish bulletin last Sunday I saw a prayer printed in it that really spoke to me. The text is below.

Prayer for the Easing of Financial Difficulties

Lord, I have been taught that money is not what is most important, yet money is often a problem in my life.

These latest financial difficulties are particularly hard. Help me to use money wisely, to resist buying what I do not need and to stop comparing my possessions to those of others.

Grant me what I need in this life, so that I may care for myself and those dear to me, with enough to share with the less fortunate.

Amen.

This part, "Help me to use money wisely, to resist buying what I do not need," spoke to me the most. I almost feel silly writing this, as I know so many others struggle to just heat the house and feed their children. But I really liked this prayer and thought I would pass it along.

Edit to add: Time to pray hard. Not 2 hours after I posted this, the oil serviceman showed up. We have a leak in our oil tank, which means we have to get a new one ($1,700). And we have to have a carpenter come tear down a wall in our basement to get the old one out and new one in (no idea how much that will cost, but I'm sure it's not free). *sigh*

Posts you'll enjoy

2008-02-01T08:30:00.000-05:00

If you don't read The Curt Jester, check it out.

It will make you laugh. Or cry. Or laugh so hard you cry - take your pick.

If you're ever discouraged that your parish is getting a little squirrely in how it handles something - Mass, especially - have no fear. The Jester will find some parish doing something worse. Much worse. Ridiculous, even. Something so monumentally stupid (and in most cases, offensive) you have to laugh.

See Exhibit A. And Exhibit B, which has possibly the best post title ever.

And, 180 degrees in the other direction, check out this amazing post from Amy Welborn. It's so powerful.