WTF Is It Now?!?

SMALL TOWN TO BABY DICK.........

2009-11-21T18:30:00.003-05:00

STFU!!!

NO ONE ASKED YOU, no one CARES what you say or think, go home and play torture games with your daddy you bleached out lyin' fearmongering piece of shit beyyyotch FREAK! from the bowels of Hell.

(That's how I read it, anyhow.)

2009-11-18T23:20:00.000-05:00

Rabbis call out insufferable shmegegge

2009-11-18T17:19:00.000-05:00

Douchebag and quisling Joe Lieberman (I – Me!) in deep doodoo with erstwhile supporters --

Quietly holding candles, hundreds of clergymen, congregants and reform advocates lined the sidewalks outside Joe Lieberman's Stamford home Sunday night in a show of support for universal health care.

Rabbi Fish of Beth El, in Norwalk, calls on Lieberman's conscience to do the right thing. His invocation of the Torah commandment (Lo taamod al dam reakha, "Do not stand idly by the blood of your neighbors") was especially poignant.

"The moral imperative for our time is clear. Anyone whose guide in public policy is conscience, anyone who argues that faith and religious traditions should direct our actions, such a person must stand for universal health care in America," Fish concluded. "It happens we are all also citizens of Connecticut. That fact leads us to ask you Senator Lieberman, what is it that you stand for?"

Besides rethug cock, that is.

Gee. What a surprise.

2009-11-18T17:17:00.001-05:00

Republicans -- who denounced, dithered, then delayed investigations of the Sept 11th attacks, the war in Iraq, and the govt response to hurricane Katrina -- now want to push for immediate congressional inquiries into the Fort Hood shooting.

Look! Squirrels!

Rethugs now denouncing immediate congressional inquiries into Fort Hood upon news that shooter Nidal Hasan is a conservative.

In other news, rethugs are idiots.

Wolf Blitzer gets his goat on

2009-11-18T17:16:00.001-05:00

Ew.

Just… ew.

VP means to kill every man, woman & child on this earth

2009-11-18T17:15:00.000-05:00

As slavering psycho Dick Cheney can only look on in awe, jealousy and horror, Joe Biden is leaving a bloody trail of bodies wherever he goes.

Profiles in … you know, fuck it.

2009-11-18T17:11:00.001-05:00

It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times?!?

Discriminating reader and overly-moist douchetube John ‘cumstain’ Ziegler says Sarah Palin’s book is “by far the best” book evar, angering fans of Walter the Farting Dog, Millie’s Book, and Everybody Poops. Actual quote:

“For many reasons, this is by far the best book and greatest literary achievement by a political figure in my lifetime.”

Jeebus. Holy CRAP, what a smeg-head. Really. Let’s get some reviews from amazon.com:

From out of all the misstatements, narcissism, spin and distortions that make this biography so embarrassing to read, one indisputable fact emerges: It's pretty clear ex-governor Palin would still be a low-profile politician in the frozen north, but for candidate McCain and his staff. Those would be the same folks she attacks so fiercely in this biography.

This "memoir," co-written with Lynn Vincent, is one of the most disturbing books I've ever read. "Going Rogue" appears to be addressing a checklist of grievances that Palin has been nursing just about all her life. Palin's emotional and intellectual development seems to have stalled out somewhere around tenth grade.

I have to say that this book really scares me. If 40-odd percent of Americans believe that she is right to be number two in office the world has big problems.

As a serious read about politics in America, this book best serves as toilet paper or kindling. As a hysterically funny look at the rantings of a pathological narcissist and why the Lunatic Wing of the far right must never, ever be allowed to hold power or even reproduce, it's the best political satire since Al Franken or Molly Ivens.

The sheer level of disrespect Going Rogue has for its readership is astounding. It, like the author, assumes that Americans are idiots, too dumb to see through the lies and spin.

So what if Sarah Palin didn't write this book? Even God used earthly scribes to write the Bible.

… hurrrr derp derp derp …

Bonus: the book is full of so many fabrications and delusions that Andrew Sullivan's blog has gone silent in order to sort through the mess.

2009-11-17T23:47:00.000-05:00

Hai guize, in case I don't see you tomorrow, I'll be taking a week off for a brain adjustment. I leave you in the warm, snarky and sensual hands of Undie Lib and Siri, and maybe even DG!

Cool

2009-11-17T16:56:00.002-05:00

An amazing article on Baldwin, the Leper King of Jerusalem – "a city so incredibly holy that people have been violently killing each other over it for like two millennia."

Rogue pitbull a whiny-ass pouter

2009-11-17T16:46:00.001-05:00

“It’s all THEIR fault! They were mean to me!” whines complaining whiny dumbass.

The "You betcha" lady is no more. In her memoir Sarah Palin introduces a new voice, and it’s that of a chronic complainer. So much so you want to shout at the pages, "Man up, woman!"

The news from the book has already spilled, and it is essentially this: John McCain’s senior aides were mean to her. Katie Couric was mean to her. Her critics, who are by definition supposed to be mean, were mean to her. But rather than come back swinging, she comes back whining.

Bonus quote from the article: “Possibly even more audacious than her belief she was qualified to be the person a heartbeat away from the presidency is her conviction that she was a superior comedy writer to those on Saturday Night Live.”

Double-bonus quote: “Obviously headquarters was so distraught at how badly the [debate] prep was going that they were looking for something, anything, to make her brain work.”

As in “First, have principles”

2009-11-17T16:45:00.002-05:00

Rebranding your values? It’s not the “Contract With America" – it’s Michael Steele’s "First Principles" manifesto for the GOP.

I’m Steelie-D
An’ I’m here to say
I’m the phattest cat
In the G-O-Pay

I’m workin’ hard
For all of us
So I wrote this shit
Hope ya like it, Rush

Even though they’re white
My homies rock
Except for Newt –
He can suck my c*ck

About all that Bedwetting......

2009-11-17T16:45:00.001-05:00

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c

Law & Order: KSM

www.thedailyshow.com

Daily Show
Full Episodes

Political Humor

Health Care Crisis

Well, if anyone would know about raping a young girl...

2009-11-17T16:44:00.000-05:00

Comparing healthcare reform to Nazi death camps isn’t tasteless enough for you? Then you’ll enjoy Glenn Beck equating it to child rape.

What… a… sick… FUCK. Good GOD.

Palin unpopular with cranium-Americans

2009-11-17T16:42:00.001-05:00

Majority of voters consider the whiny-ass quitter an unprincipled jerk and not fit for office, hate America.

Over half in a new ABC News/WaComPo poll have an unfavorable opinion of Mooselini overall, as many say they wouldn’t consider supporting her for president and more – six in 10 – not only see her as unqualified for the job, but unqualified to give a blowjob.

“I don’t think she’d be able to stop yakking, for one thing,” said a respondent.

Fifty-three percent say they definitely would not vote for Palin if she were to run for president in 2012 or Miz Redneck at the 2010 Cornpone Harvest and Sheep Buggering Festival in Nascarr, Idaho.

Intensity is against her as well: considerably more see her “strongly” unfavorably, 34 percent, than strongly favorably, 20 percent.

Obviously not including the ‘McCain campaign backstabbers that sabotaged her’ (poster at freeretardic today), seventy-six percent of republicans view her favorably. Preferably poolside, in a stars-and-stripes bikini.

Tinfoiled nutjob speaks openly about his paranoia

2009-11-17T16:39:00.001-05:00

President Obama “some kind of deviated prevert, organizing some kind of mutiny of preverts.”

The NY comPost says Lou Dobbs and CNN boss Jonathan Klein had been ‘publicly feuding’ over the kind of “reporting” the bloviating douchenozzle was doing on his show – namely stories about and support for the dumbass "birther" movement. After numerous memos and talking-tos, Dobbs chose quitting over getting his fucking act together, the cocksucker. And good riddance.

The future Faux anchor went on his favorite nutwork yesterday, saying CNN shitcanned him because its top execs didn't want to offend President Obama. The half-senile crank made the claim last night on Fux’s "The Falafel Factor," saying CNN was OK with him taking on Bush's immigration policy: "I discern more of a difference between then, which was under the Bush administration when I was criticizing, and now, when it is the Obama administration -- and an entirely different tone was taken," said Dobbs, completely overlooking the fact that he’s turned into a peevish wingnut conspiracist who used the once-respected network to expound on utter proven bullshit.

I mean honestly, the next step would have been harangues on how the Obama Administration is really part of a Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual, certainly without any choice.. That's the way a hard-core Commie works.

Idiot.

Hopefully there’ll be a video out once Hitler finds out Lou Dobbs got fired. Um, quit.

Call the Wahhhhhmbulance!!!!!

2009-11-17T16:04:00.002-05:00

Poor Sarah Mooselini is being picked on again

"The choice of photo for the cover of this week's Newsweek is unfortunate. When it comes to Sarah Palin, this 'news' magazine has relished focusing on the irrelevant rather than the relevant. The Runner's World magazine one-page profile for which this photo was taken was all about health and fitness -- a subject to which I am devoted and which is critically important to this nation. The out-of-context Newsweek approach is sexist and oh-so-expected by now. If anyone can learn anything from it: it shows why you shouldn't judge a book by its cover, gender, or color of skin. The media will do anything to draw attention - even if out of context."

It is rather ironic to hear her whine considering the outlandish attacks she herself has made. She used her looks to advance herself and garner votes from day one. Why the hell is she complaining now?
Earth to space caribou: What do you think is worse, sexism or accusing a US senator of essentially being a terrorist?

2009-11-16T23:27:00.000-05:00

You can’t put terrists on trial! It might make us rushpublicunts look bad!

2009-11-16T16:23:00.001-05:00

~~”Some” fear~~ Fux Nooze fears that the Bush misadministration will be the target of the 9/11 trials held in NYC. Please. Why, just because they pooh-poohed all of the outgoing Clinton team’s warnings, then totally ignored the August PDB that warned “Al Qaeda Determined to Attack in the US,” and stayed on vacation? Come on.

Bringing honor to America

2009-11-16T16:19:00.002-05:00

The latest nontroversy by rightwingnuts: ‘Obama forgot to put a flag pin on his teleprompter’ or something.

The knuckledragging hypocrites of Powerline on the President’s visit to Japan: "Every time Obama goes abroad, he embarrasses himself and sells out his country."

Oh really.

Well, at least he hasn’t bombed the holy bejeebus out of anybody based on a lie. Some comments from the intarweb:

Has he given any back rubs or thrown up on any heads of state yet? Get back to us when that happens.

Everyone knows the only proper way for an American President to greet foreign leaders is for him to drop his pants and wave his dick around in their face, all while screaming "AMERICA FARK YEAH!!! WHAT NOW, BIATCHES!!!" at the top of his lungs. Doing absolutely anything else makes us look weak in the eyes of our enemies.

It was Rahm's idea. They want all the Republicans screaming about this instead of the new bill he's got going through on Monday. It is called the "Taking Guns From Whitey In Order to Enslave Their White Daughters As Sexual Servants for The ACORN Workers Manning the FEMA Camps Holding the Christian Dissenters Act of 2009"

I hope it never goes public that Obama uses white toilet paper.

I'd like to go on record saying that I, along with all other non-lunatic Americans, do not feel sold out.

Why does Caribou Barbie hate our troops?

2009-11-16T16:15:00.001-05:00

The Pitbull Barracuda complains about the ‘gotcha media’ again.

Sarah Palin (R-WATB) went after the AssPress on Sunday, accusing them of engaging in "opposition research" and “tearing up” when fact-checking her forthcoming book, “American Quitter’.

Palin goes adrift, at times, on more contemporary issues, too. She criticizes President Barack Obama for pushing through a bailout package that actually was achieved by his Republican predecessor George W. Bush – a package she seemed to support at the time.

Fun factcheck: she’s done a metric bitchload of whining and complaining, but she hasn’t refuted any of the points they’ve made.

Not shown: poster of Christopher Columbus goosestepping at Buchenwald

2009-11-16T16:14:00.001-05:00

A teabagging anti-immigration rally at the Minnesota State Capitol gets humorously surreal...

The highlight of the event is the speech by "Robert Erickson," a "concerned citizen from Minneapolis." Erickson launches into what seems like a standard red-meat anti-immigrant speech. His real intentions are betrayed only by a slight smirk. It is only when he accuses immigrants of spreading disease and then indicts them for "killing millions" with smallpox that it becomes clear that the immigrants he has in mind are the European conquerors of North America and their descendants.

Repuke family values

2009-11-16T16:13:00.001-05:00

Grotesque playboy Newt Gingrich -- who left his first wife while she was in hospital suffering with cancer, cheated on his second wife, and is now on his 3rd wife -- does a video in support of 'traditional marriage.'

Newt dumped cancer-stricken 1st wife. When his pastor criticized him for not supporting his two kids, he left the church. Newt dumped 2nd wife after cheating on her with the Congressional aide who is now his 3rd wife. The scandal sidelined Newt in 2008. Until now.

Bonus: the group responsible for the video originally wanted serial adulterer and drag queen Rudy Giuliani.

Rich white adulterers party totally clueless

2009-11-16T16:11:00.000-05:00

The Gross Old Perverts party is shocked that the public is pissed off at them for voting against Al Franken’s anti-rape amendment.

Privately, GOP sources acknowledge that they failed to anticipate the political consequences of a “no” vote on the amendment. And several aides said that Republicans are engaged in an internal blame game about why they agreed to a roll-call vote on the measure, rather than a simple voice vote that would have allowed the opposing senators to duck criticism.

As BarbinMD writes, “Seriously? They voted against an amendment that was prompted by the brutal gang-rape of a young woman by her co-workers while she was working for a company under contract for the United States government, after which she was locked in a shipping container without food or water, threatened if she left to seek medical treatment, and was then prevented from bringing criminal charges against her assailants. And they failed to anticipate the political consequences?”

What a bunch of fucking inept, clueless criminal BOOBS.

Don’t miss

2009-11-16T16:09:00.001-05:00

This week’s Top 10 Conservative Idiots.

The Onion asks the man (and woman) on the street what they think of Lou Dobbs resigning from CNN.

2009-11-12T23:41:00.000-05:00