Tempin' ain't easy.

SECURE DONKEY PRODUCTS STORE

2008-09-26T11:11:00.003-04:00

At only $25/year, you have to ask yourself if you can afford not to subscribe.

2008-09-23T14:36:00.001-04:00

Man, Mark Cuban's Awesome

2008-09-19T10:38:00.004-04:00

Okay, so Josh Howard did some dumb, dumb shit by bagging on the National Anthem, true. There was bound to be some backlash, much of which would be (and was) directed at Howard's employer, Mark Cuban.

But boy oh boy did Cuban one up the critics. On the one hand, I'd love to read some of the responses these people got after their emails hit the internet. On the other, it'd probably be depressing to read the supportive emails that they'll probably get (some from each other, no doubt).

Like a far-left liberal who's oft-touted tolerance extends only to those that share their opinions, there's little that amuses me (in the most depressing way) as a "patriot" that implies that the freedom of speech extends only to those that talk about how great America is.... "While I man not agree with what you say, I'll defend to the death my right to not know what freedom of speech means."

Finally, though, I should mention that there's little that disappoints me more than people that blindly rail against the United States. You may think that George W. Bush is a dipshit, or worse, a man that's single-handedly redefined the role of the American President, and not for the better, but the American flag and the National Anthem don't just represent the Bush Administration. Nor do they just represent Obama/Biden. They represent all of them and all of us. Burning an American flag is a kind of ignorant act, because as scandalous as it might seem, it doesn't just represent protesting things one doesn't agree with, but it represents the things in this country one does with.

And really, the beauty of the American Democracy is that (in theory, and mostly in practice), if there's something you don't agree with, you have the ability to do something about it.

UPDATE: Good lookin' out, Matt; apparently Cubes did pull the post. But like mentioned in the comments here, the page is straight up cached. Hooray internet!

2008-09-18T10:03:00.001-04:00

Sarah Palin's Speech

2008-09-04T11:07:00.005-04:00

GOV. PALIN: Thank you. (Cheers, applause.) Thank you. Thank you. (Cheers, applause.) Thank you. (Cheers, applause.) Thank you. (Cheers, applause.) Thank you so much. (Cheers, applause.) Thank you. (Cheers, applause.) Thank you so much. (Cheers, applause.) Thank you so much. (Cheers, applause.) Thank you. (Cheers, applause.) Thank you. (Cheers, applause.) Thank you so much. (Cheers, applause.)

Mr. Chairman, delegates and fellow citizens, I will be honored to accept your nomination for vice president of the United States. (Cheers, applause.) Thank you. (Cheers, applause.)

I accept the call to help our nominee for president to serve and defend America, and I accept the challenge of a tough fight in this election against confident opponents at a crucial hour for our country. And I accept the privilege of serving with a man who has come through much harder missions and met far graver challenges and knows how tough fights are won, the next president of the United States, John S. McCain. (Cheers, applause.)

It was just a year ago when all the experts in Washington counted out our nominee because he refused to hedge his commitment to the security of the country he loves. With their usual certitude, they told us that all was lost. There was no hope for this candidate who said that he would rather lose an election than see his country lose a war. (Cheers, applause.)

But the pollsters -- the pollsters and the pundits, they overlooked just one thing when they wrote him off. They overlooked the caliber of the man himself, the determination and resolve and the sheer guts of Senator John McCain. (Cheers, applause.)

The voters knew better. And maybe that's because they realize there's a time for politics and a time for leadership; a time to campaign and a time to put our country first. (Cheers, applause.)

Our nominee for president is a true profile in courage, and people like that are hard to come by. He's a man who wore the uniform of his country for 22 years and refused to break faith with those troops in Iraq who now have brought victory within sight. Within sight, huh? Some sort of super, bionic sight.... (Cheers, applause.)

And as the mother of one of those troops, that is exactly the kind of man I want as commander in chief. (Cheers, applause.) Thank you.

AUDIENCE MEMBERS: (Chanting.) USA! USA! USA! USA!

GOV. PALIN: I'm just one of many moms who will say an extra prayer each night for our sons and daughters going into harm's way. Our son Track is 19, and one week from tomorrow, September 11th, he'll deploy to Iraq with the Army infantry in the service of his country. My nephew Casey (sp) also enlisted and serves on a carrier in the Persian Gulf. My family is so proud of both of them, and of all the fine men and women serving the country in uniform. (Cheers, applause.) Thank you.

AUDIENCE MEMBERS: (Chanting.) USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA!

GOV. PALIN: So Track is the eldest of our five children. In our family, it's two boys and three girls in between, my strong and kind- hearted daughters, Bristol and Willow and Piper. (Cheers, applause.)

And we were so blessed in April; Todd and I welcomed our littlest one into the world, a perfectly beautiful baby boy named Trig. Theirs? Bum, bum, BUMMMMM! (Cheers, applause.)

You know, from the inside, no family ever seems typical, and that's how it is with us. Our family has the same ups and downs as any other, the same challenges and the same joys, sometimes even the greatest joys bring challenge. And children with special needs inspire a very, very special love. To the families of special needs -- (cheers, applause) -- to the families of special needs children all across this country, I have a message for you. For years, you've sought to make America a more welcoming place for your sons and daughters.

And I pledge to you that if we're elected, you will have a friend and advocate in the White House. (Cheers, applause.)

And Todd is a story all by himself. He's a lifelong commercial fisherman and a production operator in the oil fields of Alaska's North Slope, and a proud member of the Untied Steelworkers Union. Todd's a one-man Discovery Channel show. (Cheers, applause.) And Todd is a world champion snow machine racer. (Cheers, applause.) Throw in his Yupik Eskimo ancestry, and it all makes for quite a package. And we met in high school, and two decades and five children later, he's still my guy. (Cheers, applause.)

My mom and dad both worked at the elementary school in our small town, and among the many things I owe them is a simple lesson that I've learned: that this is America, and every woman can walk through every door of opportunity. And my parents are here tonight. (Cheers, applause.) I am so proud to be the daughter of Chuck and Sally Heath. (Cheers, applause continuing.)

Long ago, a young farmer and a haberdasher from Missouri, he followed an unlikely path -- (cheers) -- he followed an unlikely path to the vice presidency. Okay, so it's Truman, but she kinda makes it sound like her dad....

And a writer observed, "We grow good people in our small towns, with honesty and sincerity and dignity."

And I know just the kind of people that writer had in mind when he praised Harry Truman. I grew up with those people. They're the ones who do some of the hardest work in America, who grow our food and run our factories and fight our wars. They love their country in good times and bad and a good thing for that, too, *cougheconomycough* -- (cheers, applause) -- and they're always proud of America. (Sustained cheers, applause.)

I had the privilege of living most of my life in a small town. I was just your average hockey mom and signed up for the PTA. (Cheers, applause.)

AUDIENCE: (Chanting.) Hockey moms! Hockey moms! Hockey moms! Hahahahaha. Hockey moms! Hockey moms!

GOV. PALIN: (Laughs.) I love those hockey moms. You know, they say the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull: lipstick. (Laughter, cheers, applause.) And make sure you keep that lipstick fresh, toots. /slaps ass

So I signed up for the PTA because I wanted to make my kids' public education even better. Like abstinence only sex ed. So far, so good. And when I ran for city council, I didn't need focus groups and voter profiles because I knew those voters and I knew their families, too.

Before I became governor of the great state of Alaska -- (cheers, applause) -- I was mayor of my hometown. And since our opponents in this presidential election seem to look down on that experience, let me explain to them what the job involves. (Cheers, applause.) I guess -- (interrupted by chants of "Sarah! Sarah!") -- I guess a small-town mayor if sort of like a community organizer, except that you have actual responsibilities. (Cheers, applause.) How exactly does that explain what the job involves?

I might add -- I might add that in small towns, we don't quite know what to make of a candidate who lavishes praise on working people when they're listening, and then talks about how bitterly they cling to their religion and guns when those people aren't listening. (Cheers, applause.) No, we tend to prefer candidates who don't talk about us one way in Scranton and another way in San Francisco. (Cheers, applause.) That's a pretty good burn.

As I for my running mate, you can be certain that wherever he goes and whoever is listening, John McCain is the same man. (Cheers, applause.) He certainly wouldn't change his tune to pander to a crow d.

Well, I'm not a member of the permanent political establishment. (Cheers, applause.) And I've learned quickly these last few days that if you're not a member in good standing of the Washington elite, then some in the media consider a candidate unqualified for that reason alone. (Booing.)

But -- (booing continues) -- but -- (booing, chanting) -- now here's a little news flash -- (chanting and shouting) -- now here's a little news flash for those reporters and commentators: I'm not going to Washington to seek their good opinion. I'm going to Washington to serve the people of this great country. (Cheers, applause, chanting.)

Americans expect us to go to Washington for the right reason, and not just to mingle with the right people. Politics isn't just a game of clashing parties and competing interests.

The right reason is to challenge the status quo, to serve the common good and to leave this nation better than we found it. (Cheers, applause.) You'd be pretty hard-pressed to leave the country worse off than you're finding it now.

No one expects us all to agree on everything, but we are expected to govern with integrity and good will and clear convictions and a servant's heart. And I pledge to all Americans that I will carry myself in this spirit as vice president of the United States. (Cheers, applause.)

This was the spirit that brought me to the governor's office when I took on the old politics as usual in Juneau, when I stood up to the special interests and the lobbyists and the Big Oil companies and the good old boys. Yeah, stick it to the oil companies! By letting them drill in ANWR! And polar bears? Fuck 'em. Suddenly, I realized that sudden and relentless reform never sits well with entrenched interests and power brokers. That's why true reform is so hard to achieve. But with the support of the citizens of Alaska, we shook things up and in short order we put the government of our state back on the side of the people. (Cheers, applause.)

I came to office promising major ethics reform to end the culture of self-dealing, and today that ethics reform is the law. While I was at it, I got rid of a few things in the Governor's Office that I didn't believe our citizens should have to pay for.

That luxury jet was over the top. (Cheers, applause.) I put it on eBay. (Laughter, cheers, applause.) I love to drive myself to work. Instead of public transportation, cuz like I said, drilling in Alaska's a lot easier than taking the bus. And I thought we could muddle through without the governor's personal chef to hell with that working American, although I got to admit that sometimes my kids sure miss her. (Laughter.)

I came to office promising to control spending, by request if possible, but by veto if necessary. (Cheers, applause.) Senator McCain also, he promises to use the power of veto in defense of the public interest. And as a chief executive, I can assure you it works. (Cheers, applause.)

Our state budget is under control. We have a surplus. And I have protected the taxpayers by vetoing wasteful spending, nearly half a billion dollars in vetoes. (Cheers, applause.)

We suspended the state fuel tax and championed reform to end the abuses of earmark spending by Congress. I told the Congress "thanks, but no thanks" on that bridge to nowhere. (Cheers, applause.) Literally: Thanks. And then later, No thanks. If our state wanted to build a bridge, we were going to build it ourselves. (Cheers, applause.)

When oil and gas prices went up dramatically and filled up the state treasury, I sent a large share of that revenue back where it belonged: directly to the people of Alaska. (Cheers, applause.)

And despite fierce opposition from oil company lobbyists who kind of liked things the way that they were, we broke their monopoly on power and resources. As governor, I insisted on competition and basic fairness to end their control of our state and return it to the people. (Cheers, applause.)

I fought to bring about the largest private-sector infrastructure project in North American history. And when that deal was struck, we began a nearly $40 billion natural gas pipeline to help lead America to energy independence. (Cheers, applause.) That pipeline, when the last section is laid and its valves are open, will lead America one step farther away from dependence on dangerous foreign powers that do not have our interests at heart.

The stakes for our nation could not be higher. When a hurricane strikes in the Gulf of Mexico, this country should not be so dependent on imported oil that we're forced to draw from our Strategic Petroleum Reserve.

(Applause.) And families cannot throw more and more of their paychecks on gas and heating oil. (Applause.)

With Russia wanting to control a vital pipeline in the Caucasus and to divide and intimidate our European allies by using energy as a weapon, we cannot leave ourselves at the mercy of foreign suppliers. (Cheers, applause.) And speaking of Russia....

To confront the threat that Iran might seek to cut off nearly a fifth of the world's energy supplies, or that terrorists might strike again at the Abqaiq facility in Saudi Arabia, or that Venezuela might shut off its oil discoveries and its deliveries of that source, Americans -- need to produce more of our own oil and gas. (Cheers, applause.) And take it from a gal who knows the North Slope of Alaska; we've got lots of both. (Cheers, applause, chanting.) And take it from a gal who knows the North Slope of Alaska; nothing could ever go wrong with oil in Alaska.

(Inaudible.) Our opponents say again and again that drilling will not solve all of America's energy problems, as if we didn't know that already. (Laughter.) But the fact -- the fact that drilling, though, won't solve every problem is no excuse to do nothing at all. (Cheers, applause.)

Starting in January, in a McCain-Palin administration, we're going to lay more pipelines and build more nuclear plants and create jobs with clean coal - like jumbo shrimp! lolz - and move forward on solar, wind, geothermal and other alternative sources. (Cheers, applause.)

We need -- (cheers, applause) -- we need American sources of resources. We we need American energy brought to you by American ingenuity and produced by American workers. (Cheers, applause.)

Now, I've noticed a pattern with our opponent, and maybe you have too. We've all heard his dramatic speeches before devoted followers, and there is much to like and admire about our opponent. But listening to him speak, it's easy to forget that this is a man who has authored two memoirs but not a single major law or even a reform, not even in the state senate. (Cheers, applause.) This is a man who can give an entire speech about the wars America is fighting and never use the word "victory" -- except when he's talking about his own campaign. (Cheers, applause.) Because saying "victory" enough makes it happen, apparently. MISSION ACCOMPLISED!

But when the cloud of rhetoric has passed, when the roar of the crowd fades away, when the stadium lights go out and those styrofoam Greek columns are hauled back to some studio lot -- (laughter, cheers, applause) -- when that happens, what exactly is our opponent's plan?

What does he actually seek to accomplish after he's done turning back the waters and healing the planet? Ha. Who'd ever want to heal the planet? What a dope. (Laughter, applause.) The answer -- the answer is to make government bigger and take more of your money and give you more orders from Washington and to reduce the strength of America in a dangerous world. (Boos.) We don't want to give you any orders. Unless you're gay. And the world is a scary place. Best to not ask questions!

America needs more energy. Our opponent is against producing it. Victory in Iraq is finally in sight and he wants to forfeit. Again, whose sight is that? (Boos.) Terrorist states are seeking nuclear weapons without delay. He wants to meet them without preconditions. (Boos.) Al Qaeda terrorists still plot to inflict catastrophic harm on America, and he's worried that someone won't read them their rights. (Boos, cheers, applause.) Let's not forget September 11th, 2001. And the lesson we gave Al Qeada by...invading...Iraq.

Government is too big. He wants to grow it.

Congress spends too much money. He promises more. Taxes are too high, and he wants to raise them.

His tax increase are the fine print in his economic plan. And let me be specific. The Democratic nominee for president supports plans to raise income taxes and raise payroll taxes and raise investment income taxes -- (boos) -- and raise the death tax -- (boos) -- and raise business taxes -- (boos) -- and increase the tax burden on the American people by hundreds of billions of dollars. (Boos.) I think eight years of Republican economic planning is enough to show we're on the right track!

My sister Heather and her husband, they just built a service station that's now open for business. Like millions of others who run small businesses, how are they -- (applause) -- how are they going to be better off if taxes go up? Or maybe you are trying to keep your job at a plant in Michigan or in Ohio -- (cheers) -- or you're trying -- you're trying to create jobs from clean coal from Pennsylvania or West Virginia. (Cheers, applause.) Or you're trying to keep a small farm in the family right here in Minnesota. (Cheers, applause.) How are you -- how are you going to be better off if our opponent adds a massive tax burden to the American economy?

Here's how I look at the choice Americans face in this election. In politics, there are some candidates who use change to promote their careers. And then there are those, like John McCain, who use their careers to promote change. (Cheers, applause.) Senator McCain is so serious about energy policy that he uses his career to promote change. By not showing up for votes!

They are the ones whose names appear on laws and landmark reforms, not just on buttons and banners or on self-designed presidential seals. That's a good burn, too, actually.

AUDIENCE: Ooh! (Applause.)

GOV. PALIN: Among politicians, there is the idealism of high- flown speechmaking in which crowds are stirringly summoned to support great things, and then there is the idealism of those leaders, like John McCain, who actually do great things. (Cheers, applause.) They're the ones who are good for more than talk, the ones that we've always been able to count on to serve and to defend America.

Senator McCain's record of actual achievements and reform helps explain why so many special interests and lobbyists and comfortable committee chairmen in Congress have fought the prospect of a McCain presidency from the primary election of 2000 to this very day. Of course, there were those that wanted to smear Senator McCain in the past, but that's okay. They're on our payroll now! Our nominee doesn't run with the Washington herd. He's a man who is there to serve his country, and not just his party; a leader who's not looking for a fight, but sure isn't afraid of one either. (Cheers, applause.)

Harry Reid, the majority of the current do-nothing Senate -- (boos) -- he not long ago summed up his feelings about our nominee.

He said, quote, "I can't stand John McCain." (Laughter.) Ladies and gentlemen, perhaps no accolade we hear this week is better proof that we've chosen the right man. (Cheers, applause.)

Clearly, what the majority leader was driving at is that he can't stand up to John McCain -- (laughter, cheers) -- and that is only -- that's only one more reason to take the maverick out of the Senate, put him in the White House. (Cheers, applause.)

My fellow citizens, the American presidency is not supposed to be a journey of personal discovery. (Laughter, cheers, applause.) This world of threats and dangers, it's not just a community and it doesn't just need an organizer. (Laughter.)

And though both Senator Obama and Senator Biden have been going on lately about how they're always, quote, "fighting for you," let us face the matter squarely. There is only one man in this election who has ever really fought for you. (Sustained cheers, applause.) There is only one man in this election who has ever really fought for you in places where winning means survival and defeat means death, and that man is John McCain. (Cheers, applause.)

You know, in our day, politicians have readily shared much lesser tales of adversity than the nightmare world -- the nightmare world in which this man and others equally brave served and suffered for their country. And it's a long way from the fear and pain and squalor of a six-by-four cell in Hanoi to the Oval Office. (Cheers, applause.)

But if Senator McCain is elected president, that is the journey he will have made. It's a journey of an upright and honorable man, the kind of fellow whose name you will find on war memorials in small towns across this great country, only he was among those who came home. To the most powerful office on Earth, he would bring the compassion that comes from having once been powerless, the wisdom that comes even to the captives by the grace of God -- (cheers, applause) -- the special confidence of those who have seen evil and have seen how evil is overcome. (Cheers, applause.) A fellow -- a fellow prisoner of war, a man named Tom Moe of Lancaster, Ohio -- (extended cheers and applause) -- Tom Moe recalls looking through a pin hole in his cell door as Lieutenant Commander John McCain was led down the hallway by the guards day after day.

And the story is told, when McCain shuffled back from the torturous interrogation, he would turn toward Moe's door and he'd flash a grin and thumbs-up, as if to say, "We're going to pull through this."

My fellow Americans, that is the kind of man America needs to see us through the next four years. (Cheers, applause.)

For a season, a gifted speaker can inspire with his words. But for a lifetime, John McCain has inspired with his deeds. (Cheers, applause.) If character is the measure in this election, and hope the theme, and change the goal we share, then I ask you to join our cause. Join our cause and help America elect a great man as the next president of the United States. (Cheers, applause.)

Thank you, and God bless America. Thank you. (Cheers, applause.)

Finally, it's apparently cool to call Palin a VPILF, but a word to the wise: If you get a chance at the ILF part, wrap that shit up, 'cause you know what's gonna happen if she gets knocked up....

Garfield gimmicks might be getting a little old...

2008-08-14T13:30:00.002-04:00

But this one's not too bad.

2008-08-05T13:30:00.001-04:00

Holy cow! Harvester looks awesome!

2008-06-23T11:58:00.001-04:00

2008-06-20T11:17:00.002-04:00

This is my new favorite animated gif.

2008-06-19T12:21:00.002-04:00

Oh, Babel Fish

2008-06-18T13:08:00.002-04:00

For kicks, I decided to use Babel Fish to translate the first paragaph of Moby Dick into Japanese and then translate the translation back to English.

Before:

"Call me Ishmael. Some years ago - never mind how long precisely - having little or no money in my purse, and nothing particular to interest me on shore, I thought I would sail about a little and see the watery part of the world. It is a way I have of driving off the spleen, and regulating the circulation. Whenever I find myself growing grim about the mouth; whenever it is a damp, drizzly November in my soul; whenever I find myself involuntarily pausing before coffin warehouses, and bringing up the rear of every funeral I meet; and especially whenever my hypos get such an upper hand of me, that it requires a strong moral principle to prevent me from deliberately stepping into the street, and methodically knocking people's hats off - then, I account it high time to get to sea as soon as I can. This is my substitute for pistol and ball. With a philosophical flourish Cato throws himself upon his sword; I quietly take to the ship. There is nothing surprising in this. If they but knew it, almost all men in their degree, some time or other, cherish very nearly the same feelings towards the ocean with me."

After:

"Me Ishmael telephone. In my wallet your most money, and specific what makes interest coastal me cause, it has, before a certain year - under any condition which rank accurately the air you do not have to make, - I concerning me, navigated a little thought of that you look at the part which includes the water of the world. It is to adjust method, and the circulation which that me running the spleen and going away has. When finding the fact that you are brought up strictly me by your concerning the mouth, with when; When that is the humidity, with when, November of drizzle pattern of my mind; When finding the fact that I by my stop reluctantly before the warehouse of the casket, raise me on the rear section of all funerals, meet with anytime; And especially my hyposulfite from me that kind of time when it is dominant with anytime, strong morality I walk that prudently in sort, organizational people' That the fact that it hits is prevented, it requires; Arrive the hat of s other than and, I when that tide time I is possible, to the sea immediately, you explain. This is my representation of the pistol and sphere. Gorgeousness of philosophy Cato throws him himself to that sword with; I take gently in the boat. There is no unexpected at all now. But them when you know that, the ocean where their, times or other things as for all people, I have almost been attached the same feeling at a little place is made already important."

I don't need any more details.

2008-05-29T09:03:00.002-04:00

Stuart Sugarman is a big time dickweed. (Please don't sue me, Stewy.)

Click on the picture for more hilarity

2008-05-23T13:22:00.003-04:00

Now THAT is some restaurant quality lemonade...

2008-05-22T10:06:00.000-04:00

Er...comedy.

Here.

An odd way to write a joke....

2008-05-21T12:10:00.004-04:00

During Conan's monologue the other night, he made a joke about Wii Fit (the punch line was: "When you turn it on, it says, 'Go outside, fat ass.'"). Anyway, the set up went like:

Conan: How many of you play the Nintendo Wii?
Audience: (applause)
Conan: Well, the people that make the Nintendo Wii have just released something called Wii Fit....

Immediately, I was like, "the people that make the Nintendo Wii"? You mean Nintendo?

Nitpicky, sure, but I thought it was a pretty clumsy sentence.

The end.

The Dogway Melody is, without hyperbole, the greatest thing in the history of Western civilization.

2008-05-15T14:02:00.001-04:00

I couldn't have written it better if I'd written it myself...

2008-05-09T12:35:00.002-04:00

Which wouldn't have been better, even if I'd written it.

"Phone sex is the dumbest thing in the world. It's not sex. It's like calling a restaurant and asking them to describe their food. That’s not the same thing as eating. No guy wants to sit on the phone for 2 hours and talk dirty to a girl. We don’t like talking to girls on the phone to begin with. That shit is boring. I hate to be the one to break this to you ladies, but if your boyfriend spends two hours on the phone with you describing an evening of erotic delights, your boyfriend is unquestionably queer."

It's the caffeine, the nicotine, the miligrams of tar...

2008-05-02T12:31:00.004-04:00

Atmosphere and Binary Star (for free) at the Union Terrace is still one of the best shows I've seen. Over the last few years, though, I've been less and less into Atmosphere. I pretty much swore them off after Sevens Travels.

Their new album, When Life Gives You Lemons, You Paint That Shit Gold is out now (faring pretty mediocre-ly; The Onion likes it, no surprise, The Village Voice doesn't - "...the barista-strum acoustic rap of "Guarantees" aims for Elliott Smith and ends up with Uncle Kracker" is a fantastic zinger) and regardless of my general complacency regarding their music, I'm happy for those dudes that their record debuted at #5 on the Billboard 200.

So way to go, guys.

2008-04-22T09:54:00.001-04:00

The Prince of Not Eating Meat

2008-04-18T09:52:00.004-04:00

Reading my boy Nate's blog today, I remembered something I wanted to write the other day. The other day there was some sort of Toss Up or Role Play on PTI that had to do with whether or not Prince Fielder's much talked about vegetarian lifestyle choice has adversely affected his power (since, then, he hadn't hit one out in, like, 46 at bats).

Now to get in the Wayback Machine, for those that don't know, Prince's wife slid him a book about the horrors of factory farming and slaughterhouses and he swore off meat as a result. Everybody then started wondering if the lack of delicious meats would compromise his mighty swing. The thing I thought then (and still think now) is that there's a much more responsible decision that the Fielders could make that would still allow for Prince to mau on a porterhouse: eat locally, humanely raised and slaughtered meats. Sure, that means no steaks from Grizzlebees on road trips, but finding grass fed, pasture raised beef in southeastern Wisconsin should be no problem.

In fact, I think every vegetarian or vegan that chooses their diet for ethical reasons (and not food allergies or whatever) should do this. And here's why:

(Sweeping generalization alert.)

People that are likely to give up meat due to concerns for animal well being are also people that would be likely to buy meat and dairy from small, local farmers who are likely to raise and slaughter their animals more humanely than gigantor meat and dairy producers.

Most people that consume meat and dairy products don't think about the animals from which their food comes and get their meat and dairy from supermarkets.

People who are going to be convinced to give up meat aren't John and Jane Q. Public, they're Jonathan and Jane Q. Public Radio. So when an animal rights type convinces somebody to quit meat or dairy instead of convincing that person to make better decisions about the meat or dairy they buy, they're not convincing the Super Walmart grocery shoppers, they're convincing the farmer's market shoppers and, by the transitive property of...transitiveness, taking away money from farmer's that actually give a rip about their animals while doing nothing to Global Meat Corp.'s bottom line.

So there you have it.

Grass fed burgers with organic aged cheddar for everyone!

(If you want a better laid out explanation of this stuff - I'm looking at you, Prince Fielder's wife - try The Omnivore's Dilemma.)

Oh, college journalism....

2008-04-16T09:30:00.001-04:00

Normally, columns in college newspapers miss way, way more than they hit. This one, though, actually gives a lot of food for thought. Good pairings, all.

Best EVAR?

2008-04-14T11:31:00.002-04:00

Nerve and IFC have compiled the 50 Greatest Comedy Sketches of All Time. It's too bad they couldn't have the video for all of them....

Plus, I hadn't thought of it 'til reading the article, but how absurd is it that SNL hasn't released a Wayne's World compilation? Sibilance. Sibilance.

Enough with the sad bastard post at the top....

2008-04-14T10:36:00.001-04:00

Here are some dunks....

Really a touching column

2008-04-07T11:27:00.002-04:00

I read Savage Love every week. By now, I've read him answer about every question you can imagine, so it's rarely new, but almost always funny. You can tell by his writing (and through his television interviews, if you've seen them), that Dan Savage is a really sharp guy.

This week, though, he showed he's a great writer, too, with a sad, beautiful remembrance of his mother.

2008-02-29T10:41:00.000-05:00