Hati Yang Berkata, Pena Yang Menulis...

my thoughts on this : (2)

2009-09-25T22:00:00.002+08:00

I always love to engage myself in a debate. somehow, discussing something heatedly gives me pleasure. if someone screw up in their life. would you give them a chance? here's how I see it... over the years, I've met drunks, drugs-abusers, people with no life(those who live for the moment and slack around instead of building their future), those who struggle in their later life as a result of their

my love for naat

2009-09-25T12:46:00.002+08:00

I've been listening to lots of naat. they're so beautiful. the first thing in my head was - "I wanna learn Urdu". I want to understand what were being recite. I never say I'm perfect. I have many flaws and I accept them. Every now and then these flaws would hurt others. I hate it when that happened. I'm very impulsive. I tend to say things first without thinking. I feel like crying now. It's time

my thoughts on this

2009-09-19T19:59:00.003+08:00

* I haven't write for so long. excuse my crappy english. XDI'm not a religious person. I know enough to pray and this and that. I never pretend that I am, because I know just how thin my knowledge in Islam is. Just like any normal human being, deprive of 'sifat maksum', I have committed a lot of sins over the years. Not proud of it, but I'm learning and taking baby steps. Yes, I seek

I did it

2009-09-15T23:20:00.002+08:00

I didn't realise how fragile I could be until today.. petty things ticked me off. and next thing I know. I got really depressed. fucked up eh? I have managed to stop the self mutilation bits. I kept myself busy. I tried not to think much. Bitches trying to take me down. I just ignored them. I think I managed to steer away from depression for couple of months now.. and I gotta say I'm impress by

these tears...

2009-06-06T17:01:00.003+08:00

depression hits me like a bitch! I hate crying. I hate it. and yet, here I am crying and hating myself. at times like this, I just wanna die. and get over it. you know?...this stupid moodswings. why can't I just be happy? why do I keep on masquerading my feelings.. letting others know that I'm happy.. why do I smile to them when deep down inside, I'm all scattered... oh lord please help me...

Sorry...

2009-06-05T21:39:00.002+08:00

I believe that things happened for a reason. Like all those things that happened to me, they changed me as a person. It made me see things differently and appreciate certain aspects in life. It made me more aware of people's intention, so that I wouldn't fall into another trap. Last thing I need is to witness my life crumbling in front of me.It's funny to know how people perceived me back then,

Gelap

2009-06-05T21:07:00.001+08:00

gelap (1) munculmu kala gelap hati ingin menjadi sang bulan menerangi menggembirakan hanya senyuman menjawab segalanya tika awan berarak menutup bulan hujan mula membasah bumi airmata menghujani diri yang kehilangan punca duduk menanti kemunculan bulan biar di teranginya kegelapan ini 5 Jun 2009Lumut gelap (2) ku cuba menerangi hati keengganan berubah tetap menggelapkan suasana ku cuba

in my normal state

2009-04-25T12:11:00.005+08:00

I posted a different post about 2 hours ago and I decided to re-do it. so much bitterness. gah!"when I think of men. I think of statue. No heart. No feelings. Just someone who think highly of themselves"I don't care if you don't agree with me. This is what I have experienced, what I have encountered. You don't have to justify yourself. Yes, I know, not all men are like that and some women are

wrecked

2009-04-22T11:55:00.006+08:00

I actually posted this poem on my facebook before. oh well...I got people being so anal to me. Like, this should be easy and telling me to pray. I respect your opinions. The thing is, sometimes, if you don't know that person pretty well, it's better to keep your mouth shut (or in this case, refrain yourself from typing). I got people telling me I don't believe in god. Don't judge me. I may be

am I crazy?

2009-03-29T03:48:00.003+08:00

I wanted to write. letting out everything in my heart. Things that I couldn't tell others. well, if I do, they just tossed me aside. I just couldn't write... I just want people to understand. Is it that hard? someone once said to me, that I am mentally weak. hence why I keep on hurting myself whenever depression hit me. I was advised to go get medication. *sigh*I was watching 'Prozac Nation'. oh

on depression

2009-02-15T21:46:00.003+08:00

I don't know what triggered me to write this. I hate writing about my personal life. Oh, I think I found the answer. I think it was me scared with how self harm seem to be accepted socially these days. look at those images plastered on the net on self harm. Look at those teens proud of it and outdoing each other. it's sickening. this is actually the 3rd or 4th attempt of me writing this evening.

warkah : 3

2009-01-27T12:05:00.004+08:00

Bukan simpati yang ku inginkan. Bukan tangisan yang ku pinta. Tidak banyak yang ku inginkan. Cukuplah sekadar memahami apa yang tersirat. aku cuma meminta di hargai. susah sangatkah?berat sangatkah permintaanku ini?--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------"Leen minta nasihat tadi. tentang masalah percintaannya. Ironi bukan? mereka datang kepadaku

Warkah : 2

2009-01-20T14:32:00.005+08:00