creepyUCmama

We had the same baby three times...

2009-07-12T23:51:00.000-07:00

Weekend Approaching

2009-07-10T01:26:00.000-07:00

Six week growth spurt combined with new projects spinning in the air makes mommy a tired lady. If tomorrow goes as planned I have 4 meetings to get through with a nursing 6 week old in tow. I am definitely looking forward to resting on Saturday, though strangely I'm not doing too bad right now and I've only slept 4 hours in the past 2 days.

These precious things....

2009-07-05T19:33:00.000-07:00

My family is the most precious thing in the world to me. Maybe I'm becoming prematurely cantankerous but I find myself less and less willing to sacrifice the things that are important to me for certain things, even if it means taking a financial hit. I have recently found that if I am just careful about how I manage the day there is plenty of time for me to get all my work done, do school stuff with the kids, and not have to give up nights and weekends. I do not need to be constantly on the phone talking business at 10pm, I do not need to spend my weekends talking a client down, I am perfectly capable of getting it all done during reasonable hours during the week. I used to be very diligent about keeping office hours and over time I've let that slip considerably, and with that slip my misery has increased more and more every year. I am returning to keeping regular office hours other than pre planned special events or legitimate business emergencies. And emergencies do not include bad hair days, whining, or random pep talks. My family needs me, and I need myself before I become lost in the shuffle, I've been living like a machine for too long.

And what brought all this on? The other day I was frantically trying to work while the baby napped, the girl was with daddy at work, my older boy was doing puzzles.....then the power went out. Ok, no big deal, it will come back on any minute, like it always does...right...right? No. Hours went by, we confirmed with the power company that there was an outage in the area. It was miserable and hot, we don't have air conditioning and with no power I didn't have the fan blowing on me, I didn't want to open the freezer and risk defrosting my frozen breast milk so it was horrible. Then the battery in my laptop died, then my cellphone battery died. So no computer, no cellphone, no possible way to work..believe me, I tried. And when I started to get panicked over not being able to work I realized that I am working way too much. I should be able to embrace and welcome a break like that, just quiet peaceful time where work can't reach me. So I did. I opened the front door and back door to get a cross breeze going through our place, and the sun coming in, it was just beautiful and I felt a huge weight lifted. I did some scrapbooking I've been meaning to get to, wrote some thank you cards for the baby, did puzzles with my son, nursed the baby, and just had a nice time. I've decided that I can't mentally do without moments like these so office hours are in folks.

My in laws have a nice outside area they can enjoy like that all the time, when we're ready to buy a house I definitely need a nice peaceful outside place. I'll be spending more time reading outside, enjoying the breeze, enjoying my kids and my husband, and I am not going to feel at all guilty for taking the time that I am my family deserve. It's a beautiful thing, we all need to take the time to slow down and realize what really matters. It feels good.

Tadg is one month old and smiling!

2009-06-28T12:45:00.000-07:00

Tadg at 3 weeks

2009-06-21T14:49:00.001-07:00

Three Weeks Old

2009-06-19T22:17:00.000-07:00

It really does go by ridiculously fast, how do I have a three week old already? Things are already slipping into something of a routine around here. Work has certainly started back to full force, though it takes a lot longer to get certain tasks done with only one free hand to type with...ahhh, nursing at the keyboard, good stuff.

The bigger littles are sweet and helpful and lovey...when they're not busy trying to kill each other that is, but they both seem to adore their baby brother. Things are going well, this kid has some crazy hair that's spiky and longer already! He kind of reminds me of Stephen Geoffreys in Fright Night right now...poor kid. I really need to take some new pictures this week to capture the hair in its natural state.

I really need to write up the birth story while it's still fresh in my mind, just been so busy. Though really, life with three isn't that bad, lots of people warned that going from two to three was a nightmare, and granted it's only been three weeks, but so far so good. The only hard part really seems to be balancing work along with it. Life with three and homeschooling and working from home is definitely a little challenging but I think as long as I am extremely careful about how I spend my baby-free (meaning baby not attached to my boob) time then I'll be alright. And of course as he gets bigger it will be even easier.

I'm feeling pretty great, a lot closer to healing than I felt last week. Looking forward to getting back on the tread mill and figuring out some core strengthening stuff so I can finally lose some weight and do the cool stuff I used to love doing like hiking and checking out cool new places. I think soon we're definitely going to have to do a new hike or road trip...something...anything...starting to get cabin fever big time.

And briefly, business seems good, getting clients gigs as usual, possibly picking up some awesome new PR clients this summer, and working on several DVD projects and movies in smaller capacities, Orgy of Blood is almost done with post and we've gotten some great press from Fangoria and Dread Central so far, I've got more in the works. And once I get back into full on swing I've got some really exciting projects coming up that I absolutely cannot wait to get started on.

Oh, and Platoon of the Dead came out on DVD this week! Get yours at Tempe DVD. =)

Introducing TADG WILLIAM MICHAEL!

2009-05-30T18:38:00.000-07:00

TADG WILLIAM MICHAEL
Born Friday, May 29, 2009 @ 5:59pm
8 pounds, 10 ounces, 20 inches long

Monday Monday.........

2009-05-25T09:52:00.000-07:00

I'm up before 10am and actually functional, guess it's a sign of things to come, or exhaustion to come, whichever it is, I'll be up. Still waiting for baby to come, looks like a definite Gemini for me, at least all my kids will be different signs.

Mission home organization has been going very well the past few days, I can't get enough storage bins and containers and labels oh my. On top of that I've been able to deal with my normal work load again now that feature film production has ceased, and I've even been able to do some long overdue tasks with filing and paperwork that REALLY needed doing.

Hell, I've even been able to catch up on doing the kids journals and scrapbooking, I wish it was always like this...but maybe with the new organization and home office set up it will stay this way at least most of the time. Then again, I'm probably just hyper focused because of nesting and will soon be thrown into the chaotic and odd-hours world of the newborn. I feel ready...mostly.

Neglect and Change

2009-05-20T13:31:00.000-07:00

My poor neglected blog, my poor neglected soul...mostly me. I haven't had time, or more correctly, have not been making time for all the things that help to keep me soul feeling good. I have got to stop doing this.

My life as I knew it basically slipped away into chaos sometime before February. At the beginning of February I was dealing with some really intense client stuff, thankfully most of which has now been resolved, on top of that I had a brand spankin' new PR client (still do have him thankfully) that needed a lot of attention, and was in production on a feature with a very tight shooting schedule in the middle of nowhere....nowhere with lots of giant spiders. All of this was going down during my pregnancy, which has definitely been the absolute hardest one I've had.

This pregnancy has been pretty much total misery from day one, I'm so glad to be having a new little one, I'm practically giddy, but finding myself bitter over not having the time to concentrate on that joy and love. I've been dizzy and nauseous and tired the entire time, and big, just extra big, despite not actually gaining weight, I lost weight, not from puking either, just something I do I guess. I was so weirded out by this crappy pregnancy that I got an ultrasound, which I am usually against, to make sure it was just one baby. And it was, or so they say, one big old hyper baby who is already rivaling the other kids as most challenging child, and he's not even born yet. So yes, it's a boy, or so they say...again, I won't be 100% convinced until he's born. =)

Anyway, on the set of that movie in the middle of nowhere an email came through for another project, and pretty much within days of finishing one movie I was thrown into active and heavy pre production on another one, this one much bigger than any before, and much more complicated. I'm actually very proud of how it went down, the crew I got together, the people, the whole thing, but I won't say it wasn't very hard at times. I'm still dealing with it actually, along with about 8 DVD projects in various stages of completion, hoping to get all of those wrapped up by July and by then will likely be working on several more...that's good, income, credits, life moving ahead, all of these are good things. Might even grab one or two more PR clients in the summer just to keep things going, after all, we'll have a new baby to support soon, and we just bought a nice new minivan to hold us all, which I am freakishly excited about.

There have been so many ups and downs the past few months. It would have been easier if I wasn't feeling so awful and lethargic and shaky, but I sense the end of these bad times coming. In the middle of production on the film, my long time dear friend, and client, Lou Perryman passed away. It was not natural, it was not expected, and I'm filled with a giant empty space that sometimes over flows with rage over the loss of him. He was so positive, finally, moving ahead, I loved him, I still love him, and I owe him more than to be screwing up the one life I've got by not taking care of myself. We ended every call with I love you darlin' I am so grateful for that being my last words to him.

After that, we managed to finish the shoot, mostly, and had a great Easter full of fun with the kids and their little Easter baskets, dyeing eggs, and it was so sweet and dear. Then the second bomb dropped, another long time friend passed away, Marilyn Chambers. I've known Marilyn since before my husband was my husband, she bought the first outfit my firstborn child ever wore, she felt my belly when I was pregnant, she joked with us, she was awesome. She was cranky sometimes but her style of temper was amusing and playful and sweet and somehow it made me love her more. Marilyn passed away, of natural causes, on Easter...she was way too young and I miss her terribly. I last saw her in October of 2008 when we sat together at a convention in Ohio. I miss her hugs. I made a promise to both Marilyn and Lou, and myself, that I would write about them at length and put it up on my main site and on here, this is a start, but nowhere near all of it. A month later I am still completely overwhelmed with sadness and shock that they're gone.

Which I guess brings me back to now-ish. My little boy just turned 4 years old, 4! That just seems impossible to me. We had a great party for him which I'm so glad we were able to pull off with everything that's been going on. My daughter is 2 1/2, and I'm due pretty much now with another baby, it's possible I'll have two little boys that are May born Taurus babies...in a way I hope I go later and this little guy sneaks in closer to June and is a Gemini, just so they each have their own time. I do not want to force them to share birthday parties if I can avoid it. Though I am scared to have a Gemini, there is no stopping them. =)

So here it is, late May, and I'm just waiting on a baby, and nesting, and cleaning, and working, and not sleeping enough but eating very well. I'm making some changes and some decisions on how best to keep the things around me that are most important going and somehow balancing work along with it. And for the extra hard days in between, well, I keep good coffee and candles and bubblebath handy.

I'm still alive...and it's my birthday

2009-02-28T17:50:00.000-08:00

Wow, I haven't updated in way too long. I've been way too busy to even really have a life or a soul lately. Finished a movie, am heavy into pre production on another one, all moving along very quickly.

But today, today is my birthday, and it's conveniently on a Saturday, and I declare this day mine all mine. So I slept until after 3pm, am eating and doing whatever I want whenever I want and generally enjoying what will likely be my only mellow "me" day for at least another 6 weeks or so.

Hopefully after we finish shooting this movie things will calm down for a few weeks so I'm not so busy, and then of course once we head into May the boy turns 4 (4! when did this happen!?) and I'm due with our third later in May. Once that happens I completely plan on not really sleeping again until at least sometime around Christmas.

Anyway, don't lose hope, I'm still here, and I'm still working...and if you're wondering what I'm watching these days...that would be Wall-E, as both the kidlets are completely in love with it right now. =)

Down on the Corner

2009-01-18T21:52:00.000-08:00

Movies I watched in 2008

2009-01-01T16:55:00.000-08:00

I stole this idea from a friend. In 2008 I kept a list of every movie I watched, even if I watched the same movie more than once. I am deeply annoyed that I made it to 198 movies, just shy of 200. That aside, here is my movie list of 2008:

1. Alien vs. Predator Requiem -2007
2. Alvin and the Chipmunks - 2007
3. Fred Claus - 2007
4. Resident Evil: Extinction - 2007
5. The Crossing Guard - 1995
6. The Bourne Identity - 2002
7. The Bourne Supremacy - 2004
8. The Bourne Ultimatum - 2007
9. Chain of Souls - 2001
10. Saw IV - 2007
11. Boogeyman 2 - 2007
12. I Am Legend - 2007
13. The Hitcher - 2007
14. 300 - 2006
15. Poirot: Murder in Mesopotamia - 2001
16. Poirot: Five Little Pigs - 2003
17. Wrong Turn 2: Dead End - 2007
18. Eastern Promises - 2007
19. Flight of the Living Dead - 2007
20. The Ferryman - 2007
21. Pumpkinhead 4: Blood Fued - 2007
22. Black Sheep -2006
23. Masters of Horror: Dream Cruise - 2007
24. The Breed - 2006
25. King of the Ants - 2003
26. The Mist - 2007
27. Crawlspace - 1972
28. Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story - 2007
29. Juno - 2007
30. Word Wars - 2004
31. Wendigo - 2002
32. Invasion - 2007
33. Trekkies - 1999
34. The Rock - 1996
35. No Country For Old Men - 2007
36. Orgazmo - 1998
37. Munchies - 1987
38. Bowling for Columbine - 2002
39. The Bad News Bears - 2005
40. Trekkies 2 - 2004
41. Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street - 2007
42. Monster - 2003
43. Who Framed Roger Rabbit - 1988
44. Thunderpants - 2002
45. Death Sentence - 2007
46. Rambo - 2008
47. Ice Spiders - 2007
48. Werewolf in a Women's Prison - 2007
49. King of Kong - 2007
50. There Will Be Blood - 2007
51. Night of the Living Dead 3D - 2006
52. The Devil's Daughter - 1973
53. The Great Debaters - 2007
54. The Black Dahlia - 2006
55. Hannibal Rising - 2007
56. The Heart Is Deceitful Above All Things - 2006
57. Easy Rider - 1969
58. Satan's Playground - 2006
59. Totem - 2004
60. Bug - 2006
61. Murder Set Pieces - 2004
62. Jack-O - 1995
63. Captivity - 2007
64. In The Valley of Elah - 2007
65. Beowulf - 2007
66. Southern Comfort - 1981
67. Wind Chill - 2007
68. Fleshburn - 1983
69. Sasquatch Mountain - 2006
70. Abominable - 2006
71. Notes on a Scandal - 2006
72. Sicko - 2007
73. The Corporation - 2004
74. 3:10 to Yuma - 2007
75. Jason X - 2002
76. Chaos - 2005
77. Alice Sweet Alice - 1977
78. The Number 23 - 2007
79. Night of the Demons 2 - 1994
80. Witchboard - 1986
81. The Sixth Sense - 1996
82. Commando - 1985
83. The Evilmaker - 2000
84. Abomination: The Evilmaker 2 - 2003
85. Waxwork - 1988
86. Vulgar - 2002
87. Nightmare Man - 2006
88. Brutal Massacre - 2007
89. Waxwork II: Lost In Time - 1991
90. Wrestlemaniac - 2006
91. The Last King of Scotland - 2006
92. Pumpkinhead - 1988
93. Pumpkinhead - 1988 (again)
94. Jimmy Carter: Man from Plains - 2007
95. Casino Royale - 2006
96. Rocky Balboa - 2007
97. Volcano - 1997
98. Aliens (director's cut) - 1986
99. Transformers - 2007
100. Enchanted - 2007
101. Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark - 1981
102. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom - 1984
103. Eaten Alive - 1977
104. Sundown: The Vampire in Retreat - 1989
105. The Devil Wears Prada - 2006
106. Bulletproof - 1988
107. Cloverfield - 2007
108. Burnt Offerings - 1976
109. Scanners - 1980
110. Robocop - 1987
111. Charlie Wilson's War - 2007
112. The Last Sect - 2006
113. Supergator - 2007
114. Michael Clayton - 2007
115. The Business of Being Born - 2007
116. P2 - 2007
117. Jumper - 2008
118. Searching for Debra Winger - 2002
119. Diary of the Dead - 2007
120. Blood Diamond - 2006
121. Dante's Peak - 1997
122. Silence of the Lambs - 1990
123. Lone Wolf McQuade - 1983
124. In Bruges - 2008
125. Thank You For Smoking - 2005
126. Logan's Run - 1976
127. Satan's Cannibal Holocaust - 2006
128. Corpses - 2004
129. Teeth - 2006
130. The Girl Next Door - 2007
131. Magus - 2008
132. Dark Remains - 2005
133. Gimme Skelter - 2007
134. The Bucket List - 2007
135. The Cook - 2008
136. King Corn - 2007
137. The Abyss - 1989
138. Children of the Night - 1991
139. Spiderman - 2002
140. Doomsday - 2008
141. The Car - 1977
142. Eraserhead - 1977
143. Aliens - 1986
144. Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan - 1982
145. Circle of Iron - 1978
146. From Beyond - 1986
147. August Rush - 2007
148. The Horror Convention Massacre 2 - 2008
149. Lethal Weapon - 1987
150. Commando - 1985 (again)
151. Black Snake Moan - 2007
152. Black Swarm - 2007
153. Swarmed - 2005
154. V for Vendetta - 2005
155. Terror Firmer - 1999
156. Lake Placid 2 - 2007
157. The Sandman - 1996
158. The Hunted - 2003
159. Grindhouse - 2007
160. Mirrors - 2008
161. Batman: The Dark Knight - 2008
162, Killer Pad - 2008
163. Tremors - 1990
164. Monster Squad - 1987
165. Stardust - 2007
166. The Bank Job - 2008
167. Pumpkinhead - 1988 (again, new Widescreen transfer)
168. Monster Squad Forever - 2007
169. Jurassic Park - 1993
170. Killjoy - 2000
171. Max Payne - 2008
172. Tropic Thunder - 2008
173. Ricco The Mean Machine - 1973
174. Golden Eye - 1995
175. Flu Bird Horror - 2008
176. The Savages - 2007
177. Forgetting Sarah Marshall - 2008
178. Lost Boys 2: The Tribe - 2008
179. Trailer Park of Terror - 2008
180. Savage Harvest 2: October Blood - 2006
181. Road House - 1989
182. Animal House - 1978
183. Hellboy II: The Golden Army - 2008
184. Erection - 2009 (not yet released)
185. Tremors - 1989 (again)
186. Gremlins - 1984
187. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory - 1971
188. Iron Man - 2008
189. Savage Harvest - 1994
190. Sodoma's Ghost - 1988
191. Quantum of Solace - 2008
192. Dirty Dancing - 1988
193. Savage Streets - 1984
194. Silent Running 1971
195. The Incredible Hulk - 2008
196. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull - 2008
197. Die Hard - 1988
198. Incubus - 2002

WHEW! Interesting year. Kind of sad that the last movie of the year was Incubus (Jess Franco) but oh well. Maybe I can break 200 this year.

HE posters and promo stuff

2008-12-31T12:19:00.001-08:00

HE, a film by Creep Creepersin is wrapped!

2008-12-31T11:19:00.000-08:00

Yes, we managed to actually shoot a movie just a few days before Christmas, and a day or two after and ended up with HE. This is my third film with Creep Creepersin, each one better than the last. We're gearing up to do another early in the year. =) Here are some photos from our shoot:

HELLBOUND: HELLRAISER II - 20th Anniversary Edition

2008-12-31T01:46:00.001-08:00

Just in time for the new year, our final DVD release of 2008 hits shelves. Hellbound: Hellraiser II - The 20th Anniversary Edition releases today, December 30, 2008 and is full of goodies: some old, some new. In particular please check out the new interviews with Kenneth Cranham, all of the Cenobites, and the all new featurette Outside the Box with Tony Randel - the film's director.

The IEP/LAUSD post...finally

2008-12-06T19:04:00.000-08:00

Where to start? Our 3 1/2 year old boy has been a little bit behind on speaking for awhile now. Not that he can't speak, or couldn't speak, or that he even missed his milestones...just that he couldn't interact the way I saw other kids his age and younger doing. Every time I expressed a concern about this people would just tell me he was fine and to stop comparing him with other kids. But by the time he was two the differences were getting too obvious to ignore. He lined up his toys, mostly cars, he walked on his toes...instead of playing at the park he'd just walk along the fence over and over again.

He wasn't anti-social, he's not violent, he doesn't hurt himself. He's affectionate, super affectionate, in fact he's one of the most cuddly, lovey children I've ever known. And he likes other kids, he'll even run after them and play chasing games now, go down slides with other kids, and he plays and talks with his little sister all day every day...but he's still behind. He sometimes doesn't get social boundaries, either by being too affectionate, or not responding to people who are speaking to him, especially other children.

He repeats things, often the last thing you say to him, even if you ask a question, he often just repeats your words instead of answering...but it's getting better, and it has been getting better and better, the progress is amazing, and I can't say it's all because of the wonderful therapists and doctors and teachers that worked with him...because the only one who has worked with him has been me...and it wasn't for my lack of trying to get outside help.

First, I do not want to bash the Regional Center, or LAUSD, or schools in general. While I do strongly believe in the homeschool philosophy, I do not think that teachers in schools are evil villains perched at their desks waiting for children they can eat. In fact, almost every one we dealt with in this process was incredibly wonderful to deal with, patient, kind, and encouraging. This is more about making sure that if you want to homeschool your children, special needs or not, being very very careful about what you do within the school system.

So it begins. As I was saying, when Gage was two or so, I started trying desperately to reach the local regional center to get an assessment for him, I wanted to know what was wrong, and to verify that I wasn't just being a worrying paranoid mother. I need to know. So I called...and I called...and I called...and I emailed, and I called.......and you know what? No one ever called me back, no one! I know how busy and overextended they must be, but ya know, I had a little boy that needed help and no one could even bother to speak to me! I was disgusted. Then my boy turned three and the differences between him and his peers became even more obvious. While his friends from the same group he's been in since age 1 could talk all about their days, ask questions, and create imaginary worlds, my son was still speaking in basic 4 word sentences. He has a LOT of words, but he doesn't engage in conversation, I was heartbroken, desperate, and misinformed.

From every source around me I was told that once a child turns three that you MUST deal with LAUSD (Los Angeles Unified School District) and not the Regional Center anymore for services. I found out recently that this is not true. It is just an assumption that every one will put their child in public school so the Regional Center forces you to go that way even if they have to lie outright...grrrr.

So I did what I never ever wanted to do, I contacted the school district. I knew that I would still homeschool my children, special needs or not, and I really just wanted an assessment. Doctors for this don't take insurance and the assessment alone can come with a hefty price tag into the thousands of dollars, and that is just for the diagnosis alone! I'm glad some people can afford that but I certainly can't no matter how much I'd love to, and no matter how much my well-meaning homeschool group ladies told me that it was the only way to go.

First I made the request for an assessment, the next day a very nice woman called me back to schedule the over the phone parent interview. We did that the next week.

I almost puked and cried but somehow managed to get through the 30 minutes of questioning that brought in to harsh light just how "different" my kid was from the norm. After that I was to wait for them to send some papers in the mail and go from there. Fastforward several weeks, I get the paper in the mail and I am suddenly struck with a great and deep panic...was I doing the right thing? What if they freaked on me for being a homeschooler? How would they react to me walking in with bright pink hair and a completely different mind set? But it continued to be fine.

I went back and forth on the phone several times, was assigned a case worker, and we made our appointments for what would be two different assessments. One being a physical: only it's not really a physical. They basically just do a simple hearing and vision test and then ask you questions about your kid's medical history. Of course my boy was fine, perfect hearing, perfect vision, no medical history that they saw that could have caused any problems (though as you may know, I personally think that the rough handling at his birth, the c-section, the forced overload of antibiotics in the NICU, and the bad reactions to several vaccines are all suspect...not as a cause exactly, but at least as a contributor).

Then there was the big assessment: this was at a school where I was forced to sit in a tiny chair at a preschool that dug into my fat ass, and I was terrified that it would break under my weight the entire time...anyway... At this meeting, "The Assessment" was my case worker, a speech pathologist, and a child psychiatrist. All of which asked me tons of questions for nearly two hours, and tested my son on various things and wrote down lots of notes. They were mostly very very nice people.

They were impressed by his affection, his social skills, his ability to follow direction, and his intelligence and repeatedly asked me if I was sure he had never been in any kind of a preschool program. I had to tell them I just worked with him at home, several times...what, do most parents not work with their own children or something? I really don't get what the big surprise was. They're my kids, I'm responsible for their upbringing...that usually entails interacting with them personally...but I digress.

So at the end of the meeting the psychiatrist tells me somberly that my son has mild autism. I was okay. I personally have theories that it may be Asperger's as most of his problems seem to be social with some stims, some of the stims particular to Asperger's. Anyway...after the psychiatrist stopped to answer a phone call on her cell phone in the middle of all this(!!!) she told me that my boy had mild autism but the intellgence and non-verbal skills of a 6 year old...I guess that's a good thing..he's a smart kid, always has been, just ask all the broken and defeated child safety locks in my house.

Then they informed me that he needed to be in preschool 5 days a week and that I should also put my then-not-yet-two-year-old in preschool as well so she won't start "acting autistic." They have never met my daughter by the way! I was pretty appalled, hinted that I was more interested in private school, and then we scheduled the dreaded IEP (Individualized Education Plan) meeting where we would sit down and come up with a plan for my kid that I would have to sign and that would act as a legally enforceable document...scary! So we scheduled it for a future date and I took my kiddo home...and I didn't cry.

A few days go by and my case worker calls to try to reschedule our IEP meeting to a time of day I specifically told her was impossible...nap time...oh hell no, we have no babysitters so we'd have to take both kids to the meeting, and I wasn't about to try that with no napping cranky kids, she then asked me, "can't they just hang?" Gross. Then she proceeds to tell me, "well, we're trying to accomodate another family that came after you." Yep, that was probably not a good thing to tell me. Then she says she'll call me back and three days later she calls and says that our original date and time is still on and not to worry about it...okay, cool right?

A few weeks go by and then with less than a week's notice a secretary, not even my case worker, leaves me a voicemail saying, "we had to accomodate someone's schedule so we're moving your IEP meeting to such and such date, thanks!" WTF? And they moved it to a date that would have meant my husband missing work and us losing money...at Christmas time. By this point I was pretty fed up. I mean, I do understand how overwhelmed and under staffed and under financed they are, but it really felt like they were messing with me. I had had enough.

After much negotiating they agreed to give us our original date and time..AGAIN, but with people who weren't involved with the assessment at all...sheesh. I also knew that they were going to push the public preschool issue, which I am completely against. And I didn't have faith that they'd give us what I really wanted, which was some speech therapy, and that's pretty much it, unless we put him in their school. I was wondering if it was even worth it to go through all this.

Then I thankfully, just in time, found some information (thank you Melissa) that once you sign the IEP and have your kid in the public school system, you don't have the right to just take them out if you want to, at least in the special needs world. Once you have them in the system and have an IEP, you have to come back and do re-evaluations of goals once a year or more...and the worst part: if you decide to remove your child from special needs/public school programs, and the district disagrees with you, they can take you to court over it and try to force you to comply! That immediately made my decision for me.

Again, I want to state that the individuals we met were all very kind, this is more if a broken system problem than the individuals we worked with. And I do know that most of the time, when things get legal over IEPs it is actually parents taking the school to court to get more services, but in our case, we wanted to just nip the whole thing in the bud.

So we made a call and told them that we were going the private route, thanked them, and cancelled the IEP. I was terrified they would put up a fight, but they were very nice about all of it. That option is always open to use if we choose to go that route down the line, but for now, homeschool is still best for us, our boy, our family, and our lives. I'll be exploring alternative options for the kiddo, who keeps progressing at a rate that is astonishing. =)

So far us ending the IEP process before it went too far seems to have gone well, I'm still waiting for them to send the reports from his assessment we were promised, and hopefully there won't be any nasty surprises. I feel great about our decision here, and glad that I can continue to have rights over my own child's education. Please parents, be very careful what you sign, especially if you plan to homeschool. It is easier to never be in their system than to try to pull out later.

And now it's time to put the kids to bed, this post is long, thank you if you read through to the end.

Pre Production news of the day

2008-12-02T18:20:00.000-08:00

Today went very well. I had a great talk with a man up in Lake Arrowhead and managed to secure a location for some scenes in an upcoming production.

And for that same production we will also need some toothy prosthetics, waiting on a quote for that but I'm feeling confident that the shop I'm talking to can do it withing our budget, and be awesome all at the same time.

Wow, that really seemed like much more news when it wasn't written out.

movie trailer for Erection, a Creep Creepersin Film up now

2008-12-02T18:14:00.000-08:00

Check this out! Dread Central did a nice little write up on the movie we shot back in August; Erection

http://www.dreadcentral.com/story/erection-trailer-spears-web

I'm very proud of this little movie and am looking forward to finding a nice home/distributor for it.

In the mean time, I'm currently in pre-production on two new movies to be directed by Creep Creepersin, being shot this winter. I'm also working with John Bowker on a new creepy script.

Keeping very busy in the entertainment world, and I may even pick up some exciting new PR clients for early January. Yes the convention world may be taking a big hit from the economic crisis but thankfully the independent horror films can't be stopped.

On top of all of those things, I should be working on a healthy amount of DVD/documentary projects for 2009 as well...I'm thinking at least 10, probably more, and that's awesome.

It's actually giving me the energy to use my new treadmill, go figure. It's a nice change from how down and low energy/awful I felt in October.

Happy Birthday to my Pogey!

2008-11-30T14:22:00.000-08:00

My little girl is two years old today. Two years ago she was born into my husband's hands in the kitchen I am sitting in right now. I really really can't believe this much time has gone by. It seems like I was just nursing her through the night, and the days, and the nights...it seems like it was just awhile ago that Ken was rocking her in his arms at 4am. And yet, here she is, two years old, and clearly (in her mind) the ruler of this house. She's loud, she's bossy, she's a super feisty little diva child and we love her so much. Without her around I think things would be much harder, yes, you heard that right, having two kids 18 months apart is easier than having just one.

Gage (big brother) has mild autism, we've suspected it for a long time. While I have my suspicions that it may actually be asperger's instead of autism, he definitely has something going on. With Logan around I think it has really helped him talk more and come out of his shell in ways that being around other kids just can't. From making eye contact, to talking, to just being a super affectionate, protective, sometimes bossy, big brother...all of these are huge social and developmental breakthroughs that I think we'd still be struggling with if it wasn't for Logan being here.

I'll have to post another time about all we've been going through with Gage's "diagnosis," dealing with the Regional Center, LAUSD, IEPs, and all of that other stuff. We are still homeschooling and are very happy with it.

Last week I've managed to teach Gage how to use safety scissors and his paintings have started to progress significantly. I'm not sure if it's just my wishful thinking but sometimes it looks like there are tons of very basic little birds in his paintings lately. We do a lot of painting, and the kids colored hand turkeys for Thanksgiving!

We're looking forward to Christmas this year, my mother is coming out to visit which will be awesome!

And in other news: I am 15 weeks pregnant with our third baby!

So, in conclusion of my ramblings, Happy Happy Birthday Logan! We love you so much. Now let's go eat cake!

Halloween 2008

2008-11-02T13:08:00.001-08:00

I managed to do a lot this year despite just getting back from a three week long trip in Florida. It felt good. In addition to repeatedly listening to the Silver Shamrock song from Halloween III, we:

-Got and carved pumpkins: a kitty face and some bats, cool!
-Harvested all remaining cayenne peppers, the sunflower, and trimmed back the dead ends on the other plants
-Baked and decorated Halloween cookies, and then ate them...yummy ghosts, pumpkins and black cats
-Meditated and lit candles for the new darkness and loved ones who passed away in the past year.
-Took the kids trick or treating.

Things I still need to do and didn't get to yet:

-Gather and dry pumpkin seeds
-Gather and dry cayenne seeds
-Hang and dry last batch of cayenne peppers
-Build a winter king.

I'm tired but happy.

At the Pumpkin Festival in Florida.

2008-10-26T13:46:00.001-07:00

Milkweed Bug

2008-10-23T13:49:00.001-07:00

Where's my head at?

2008-10-22T09:14:00.000-07:00

Well this trip was supposed to be a nice long relaxing trip where I got lots of rest and caught up on a lot of work....unfortunately it hasn't worked out that way. I've considered checking into a local hospital so I could maybe get some rest and quiet because there is certainly no chance of that happening here. Ever feel like you've somehow fallen into an alternate universe where all the rules are different? Or am I really, truely, the only person who grew up with not just an immediate family, but an entire family who knew to be quiet when people are sleeping? I am really at the end of my tolerance. I would like large amounts of: QUIET!, sleep, being left alone, getting work done, and not feeling constantly hounded and judged. Too much to ask? Apparently so.

I have reached sensory overload and often feel like I've been dropped into the middle of a David Lynch movie...and that's nowhere near as fun as it sounds. Yesterday I had a brief escape when we went to see Max Payne....I have no further comment on that. Today, despite my horrific inability to actually breathe (respiratory illness going on week 5 now) we are going out today for some self-imposed surreal activity: The Salvador Dali Museum, woohoo! Now mind you I can't walk because that seems to interfere with the little scraps of air I am able to get in so I'll be kickin' it in a wheelchair with my bright pink hair, in Florida, at the Dali Museum....strangely this amuses me, probably even more than the time I was on bed rest with my first pregnancy but was determined to go see the Body Worlds exhibit. Therefore I went anyway, in a wheelchair (hey, it's kind of like bed rest right?) and had the mister push me around, often way too close, to the various body exhibits...unfortunately several times this put me at exact eye level with many a dead and preserved set of genitals....my favorite memory of the entire time: a young girl who had clearly never seen testicles minus their skin and flesh before, seeing one of the bodies and shouting, "Mama, he got 3 Penises!" The humiliated mother tries to explain quietly about testicals but the girl is not having it, she walks up to the exhibit and counts them one by one, "Nu uh, LOOK! 1....2....3........3 Penises!" Brilliant!

Anyway, I'm off now to hopefully create more priceless memories, or at least let my head escape to it's own place of calm chaos for the first time in weeks.

My social inadequacies are showing.......

2008-10-18T20:18:00.000-07:00

.....never do I feel more socially awkward than when I'm staying in someone else's house. It must be nice to have normal social reactions to every day situations, however I am completely horrified whenever someone asks me if they can get me anything. It would be easier to deal if the mister were here, but he's out of town on business, leaving me alone with his parents...in their house...in hot and humid Florida...with our kids...while I'm extremely sick and borderline helpless....and in the thick of the Halloween busy season. To say I'm a little freaked out would be an understatement.

My in laws are super nice, loving, caring, supportive people. I however, am a great big ball of quirky goodness and have trouble dealing with things like engaging in conversations, having dinner at a table, and going outside (especially with this nightmare lung problem I'm having and the humidity that they swear "isn't that bad"....tell that to my lungs!). I find myself starving and wanting to eat, but afraid to go get things from the fridge, and the thought of asking them for anything is equally terrifying...it all feels way too much like school lunch in 7th grade actually.

"So I ran faster, but it caught me here
Yes my loyalties turned...like my ankle...
In 7th grade...running after Billy....
Running after the rain.....
These precious things....
Let them bleed
Let them wash away
These precious things
Let them break
Their hold over me"

Tired of Travel/Travel of Tired

2008-10-12T19:33:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow at 3:30am I'll be meeting in the lobby of the hotel to get a ride to Boston airport; about a one hour drive from where I'm staying in Worcester. Just a few days ago I flew into Boston from Tampa, after an hour drive to Tampa from Sarasota, FL. Before that, a 4 hour drive from Miami to Sarasota after we missed our connecting flight, after flying from Los Angeles to Miami with the kids in tow. Our luggage was temporarily lost, long enough for me to have to fly to Boston with no clothes or toiletries. To say I'm tired is a severe understatement.

While I'm dreading the early wake up time, and being in yet another airport, I look forward to landing in Tampa and going back to Sarasota to visit the in-laws, see my babies, and have at least something resembling a vacation. Of course I'll be working during that time but with my in laws to play with the kids I might actually get some sleep and not have to work such stressful hours.

I've been sick with some kind of respiratory nightmare since mid September and I really think all the travel isn't helping. I'm hoping that chilling in Florida will help...staying put for about 2 weeks will be nice, their place is nice and low stress, I need it...I crave it with every fiber of my being.

People are arguing about race on CNN right now, I hear it across the room, why I left it on CNN I couldn't tell you, the state of this country right now has me so upset I can barely stand it. Back when W. was first elected I strongly considered leaving the country but I wasn't in any position to do so. This time around, I'm of the mind that no matter who we get as our new "leader" the country is still in such a giant pile of shit that it's going to take years, possibly decades to crawl out of it. I like being in Los Angeles, I like being in entertainment and not having seasons to mess with my garden, but I am keeping the thought of escape close to the surface just in case.

Now off my mini political rant, because I feel like everyone else has plenty of big rants and another one from me would be redundant, I am tired. =) I am waiting for friends to get back to dinner so I can say goodbye to them and get to sleep, or at least take a nap before I head to the airport. Thankfully it's only a 3 hour flight, and thankfully I'm on JetBlue for this one. By the way, being a vegetarian without a car in Worcester, MA totally SUCKS! The only places that deliver are pizza and Italian places and an exceptionally bad Chinese place. All the good, tasty food here is dine in or take out only....not cool at all.

I should go, before I get started on last night's Red Sox/Rays game....grrrrr. On to Florida I go, longing for sleep and food.