Youand (tm) blogSpace - the art of mutual understanding - José Angel Santana, Ph.D.

"ARES' WAR" -- BY WYNTON COOLEY

2008-06-26T15:15:00.009-04:00

Dedication

My hero story is dedicated to my grandfather, who I called Papa. When I was a very young boy he taught me many rights from wrongs and many other lessons. I spent a lot of time with him and my grandmother, while my parents were at work.

He allowed me to do various jobs around his house like gardening and using the lawnmower. He would allow me to go on the roof when he would be cleaning the leaves off. He would advise me to always be a hard worker; I gained his trust and respect by trying my best at everything. This is characteristic of a true hero!

He was a Pacific 10 Conference football official. He would officiate many USC and UCLA football games and their daily practices. I got to see a lot of those practices, meet the coaches and players like Reggie Bush and Matt Leinart. He would take me on road trips to various universities; I went to Seattle, Las Vegas, and Hawaii.

When Papa passed away in December 2005, my family was filled with emptiness and sorrow. He will always be with me. I will remember the times we had and he will always be my hero!

Ares’ War
It was a very joyous day in Olympus in the Garden of Love. All of the Olympians were there to see their brother and sister, Ares’ and Aphrodite, getting married. This was the joining of Ares’ destructive and Aphrodite’s blissful forces. Hera was the minister who was attempting to marry them. Zeus was very happy for his second strongest son and his most beautiful daughter. Then a rumbling happened, resembling an earthquake, and it wasn’t Poseidon.
It was Matalos, the robot, which Ares’ defeated once. With one single blast from his omega laser eye, he blasted the wedding rings and flew away to his island called Matala. Zeus shot a thunder bolt at him, but it didn’t help; it was like a feather to a stone. Ares’ signaled his flying vulture, Difia to assist him. Ares’ then grabbed his sword and shield to swing at Matalos. It didn’t even make a scratch, because of his armor. Matalos shot a rocket at Ares’ and it exploded. Ares’ then fell to Earth, but Difia caught him just before he smashed into Areopagus, a hill named after Ares’ by the Greeks.

Ares’ had Difia fly to Hephaestos, the god of craftsmanship, and asked him to make armor worthy of his stature, so he could defeat Matalos. When his armor was finished, he went back to the wedding and saw Matalos stealing Aphrodite. With all his might, he swung his sword at Matalos hand which was holding Aphrodite. Matalos let go of Aphrodite and punched Ares’ so hard that he was airborne for four whole minutes. Ares’ fell to the ground like a meteorite. Matalos wanted to kill Ares’ with his strongest weapon so he shot Ares’ with his omega laser eye.
Ares’ picked up his sword and reflected Matalos laser back at him. Matalos started malfunctioning. Ares’ picked up his sword with all of his might and anger, he cut Matalos core out and stuck it on his sword. By throwing his core to the sun, this made the first solar eclipse. Ares’ brought Aphrodite back to Olympus in the Garden of Love. The gods lit Ares’ symbol, a torch, to honor him. Ares’ kissed Aphrodite in the darkness and they spent eternity together.

-- Wynton Cooley

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"The final frontier may be human relationships, one person to another." -- Buzz Aldrin, Astronaut

PAUL SILLS AND COMPANY

2008-06-13T03:31:00.003-04:00

Paul Sills taught me to work with young people. Working with young people taught me to understand people. What I learned from Paul and Young People is that if one can put one's attention on what happens in the space between people, with an emphasis on mutuality . . . staying together with the other person, that joy is the effortless result. A, Youand approach, if you will.

Paul's teachings are in everything I do with other people.

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"The final frontier may be human relationships, one person to another." -- Buzz Aldrin, Astronaut

PAUL SILLS IS IN THE SPACE

2008-06-13T03:21:00.007-04:00

Morgan said that.

June 4, 2008

By CAMPBELL ROBERTSON

Paul Sills, a founder of the Second City theater company and the godfather of modern improvisational sketch comedy, died on Monday in Sturgeon Bay, Wis. He was 80.

The cause was complications of pneumonia, said his wife, Carol Sills.

As a founder and resident director of a series of small theater companies that began in bars, former bakeries and Chinese restaurants in Chicago, Mr. Sills taught an approach to theater that would later feed directly into the creation of “Saturday Night Live” and influence a range of artists including David Mamet and Richard Foreman. Under Mr. Sills’s direction, performances were based on games, audience suggestions and bare-bones scenarios, the basic building blocks of improv comedy.

Many of these techniques Mr. Sills learned from his mother, Viola Spolin, who had used them as a drama teacher with the federal Works Progress Administration from 1939 to 1941 and later codified them in her influential book “Improvisation for the Theater.”

But while Ms. Spolin, who worked closely with her son throughout his career, might have developed and refined the theater-game approach, it was Mr. Sills who spread the gospel, starting the careers of comedy giants like Mike Nichols, Elaine May, Barbara Harris, Alan Arkin and Paul Sand. While his influence spread, Mr. Sills continued to stick with the basics, moving on to his next opportunity as a teacher and director and remaining mostly obscure.

In 1968, Mr. Sills created the story theater form, in which actors on a bare stage narrate, mime, sing, dance and create plays based on existing stories from the Brothers Grimm, Ovid and others. In 1970, “Paul Sills’ Story Theater” appeared on Broadway; Clive Barnes, writing about it in The New York Times, said it brought back “magic and innocence to Broadway.”

In Jeffrey Sweet’s book “Something Wonderful Right Away: An Oral History of the Second City and The Compass Players,” Mr. Sills explained his approach this way: “Theater is concerned with reality. Reality is shared. And reality of the moment can occur only with spontaneity.”

Paul Silverberg was born in Chicago on Nov. 18, 1927. His parents separated when he was young, and he moved with his mother to a rented mansion on Lake Michigan, where she and her friends lived communally. They relocated to California in 1943, but Mr. Sills returned to Chicago to finish high school. After graduating, he was in both the merchant marine and the Army and then enrolled in the University of Chicago.

During and after college, Mr. Sills began developing his directorial skills in theaters like the Playwrights Theater Club, which he helped to create and where he staged plays by Bertolt Brecht, who strongly influenced him and whom he later met. But in 1955 he and a friend he met at the University of Chicago, David Shepherd, created the Compass Players, an improvisational cabaret theater, where they put on revues based more closely on the Spolin approach.

At the Compass, actors would speak in gibberish, perform sketches in languages they could not speak and generally create plays from scratch while an audience was watching. In 1959, after the Compass had dissolved, Mr. Sills, along with Howard Alk and Bernard Sahlins, created Second City, at which they were joined by many of the actors from the Compass.

Second City, which turns 50 next year, would go on to become a comedy mecca, performing a revue on Broadway under Mr. Sills’s direction, setting up satellite theaters in Toronto and Detroit and grooming alumni including Dan Aykroyd, John Belushi, Bill Murray, Mike Myers, Gilda Radner and Tina Fey.

But before Second City became ensconced in the comedy establishment, Mr. Sills had moved on, starting theater companies and teaching workshops using theater games. In 1988, Mr. Sills, Mr. Nichols and George Morrison created the New Actors Workshop in New York, where for the next 15 years Mr. Sills taught and directed productions based on the idea of story theater.

Mr. Sills spent more and more of his time in Baileys Harbor, Wis., where he lived with his wife. His survivors also include a son, David Michael; four daughters, Rachel, Polly, Aretha Amelia and Neva; four grandchildren; two great-grandchildren; and a brother, William.

In Wisconsin, Mr. Sills put on plays with a community theater group, rehearsing in a large barn and performing at local theaters and town halls. His approach to his career was not unlike his approach to theater in general.

“He always wandered away well before opening night,” Mr. Nichols said in an interview, “because he had no interest at all in results, only process.”

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"The final frontier may be human relationships, one person to another." -- Buzz Aldrin, Astronaut

ON THE ART OF MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING

2008-05-25T09:46:00.000-04:00

“I have learned that when you are campaigning for as many months as Senator Clinton and I have been campaigning, sometimes you get "careless in terms of the statements that you make, and I think that is what happened here,” Mr. Obama told Radio Isla. “Senator Clinton says that she did not intend any offense by it, and I will take her at her word on that.” By JEFF ZELENY Published: May 25, 2008. New YORK TIMES

As to the matter of the character of the human beings involved, "res ipsa loquitur." - Anonymous

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"The final frontier may be human relationships, one person to another." -- Buzz Aldrin, Astronaut

SI SE PUEDE : BARAK OBAMA MUSIC VIDEO YES WE CAN : SI SE PUEDE : YES WE CAN

2008-02-09T23:53:00.000-05:00

I was reluctant to comment on an election, because of the thought that a dedication to "mutual understanding" could become compromised by the appearance of a leaning toward partisan politics.

Tonight, I listened to Mr. Obama's speech, one in a series of presentations of his that have never failed to move me deeply. And, I experience great pleasure to express that, Mr. Obama is talking in the deepest sense, only, about a great need for an increase of "empathy" in our world today. And, that this is the change he asks us to make, that we all feel for one another more, as a first step. And, how this is a non-partisan rhetoric.

It is a rhetoric of a future where the line between Buzz Aldrin's quote, below, which I had adopted a few years back, when I began to develop my philosophy for "mutual understanding" and these paragraphs above and the "maybe" would disappear. And, that we, here, Youand I, would indeed be in: the final frontier of human relationships, one person to another.

And so, since I'm for all that . . . I say, Obama Youand I.

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"The final frontier may be human relationships, one person to another." -- Buzz Aldrin, Astronaut

MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING - CONNECTION - COLLABORATION

2008-01-15T16:38:00.000-05:00

- on the relationship between -

MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING - CONNECTION - COLLABORATION

- validation of the other person -

- keeping mutual agreements -

- a genuine interest in the other person -

- the act of listening to the other person's needs, values, and concerns -

- an avoidance of trying to control other people -

- a sensitivity to the emotions and behavior of the other person -

- a sense of joy at being present with each other in "the moment" -

- a willingness to express oneself and make requests of other people -

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"The final frontier may be human relationships, one person to another." -- Buzz Aldrin, Astronaut

THE CIRCLE OF AWARENESS

2007-11-06T14:35:00.000-05:00

(click on image to enlarge)

Above, the result of an exercise we did in class off of the concept of PERCEPTION, EXPERIENCE, and EXPRESSION the three stages of the Youand Model, which is based on the traditional I-Statement from Conflict Resolution/Mediation and the Art Principle of SEEING, EXPERIENCING, and SHARING. Blended, they form an elegant model and tool for reflection on one's own thoughts and feelings and values, at any given moment. Which, within a Youand framework is rooted in The First Principle, from Epictetus, that states: ". . . From the start, then work on saying to each harsh appearance, 'You are an appearance, and not at all the thing that has the appearance.' Then examine it and assess it by these yardsticks that you have, and first and foremost by whether it concerns the things that are up to us . . . "

The image is but a partial one, as my scanner can not capture the entire page of the groups generated inclusions.

The Youand Model

(I-statement plus Perception, Experience, Expression)

I drew a circle, with another circle like a bull’s eye in the center. I called the entire circle THE CIRCLE OF AWARENESS (I just made the name up. Please call it whatever you like.)

The area outside the larger circle, I labeled the area of PERCEPTION.

The space between the inside circle and the outside circle, the area of EXPERIENCE.

The space inside the inner circle, NEEDS/WANTS/VALUES

We, (the group) brainstormed (wrote everything down that people said) that influenced our PERCEPTION:

History

- Past experience

- Memory

Media

Culture

Habits of thought

Age (generation)

Economics

- the haves

- the have nots

- the have a little, want mores

(from Saul Alinsky's "Rules for Radicals")

Personality

Desires (wants)

Self Talk

Fear (emotion)

Archetypal Forces (like gravity, invisible yet powerful)

Needs

Convention

Preference

Environment

Socialization

Taste

World View (Point-of-View)

Religion

Emotions

Family influences

(I just now thought) Political leanings

All these, we agreed, influence the way we PERCEIVE things. So that each of us, influenced by any or combinations of these might PERCEIVE the same thing quite differently, depending on all of these influences. | We reflected on how, problematic it can be to act on what might only be an "appearance" of the thing itself. | Then we brainstormed about our EXPERIENCE of these PERCEPTIONS:

to Judge

to Label

to Prejudge (see a person of color, for example.)

to Avoid

to Assume

to Desire

to Stereotype

to Strategize

to Form interpretations

Thoughts

to Dismiss

and FEELINGS

I shared how FEELINGS are the pointers to the contents of the inner circle:

NEEDS/WANTS/VALUES

We pondered about the implications of all of this.

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"The final frontier may be human relationships, one person to another." -- Buzz Aldrin, Astronaut

BE YOUR OWN GURU

2007-10-23T22:17:00.001-04:00

(Click on image to read article.)

When I read this article, I thought, "This is what Youand is all about! Be your own Guru!"

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"The final frontier may be human relationships, one person to another." -- Buzz Aldrin, Astronaut

CHECK-IN: YOUAND

2007-09-04T07:24:00.000-04:00

I was talking to a friend last night, Luke, about Youand. He said something is drawing him to it, that he can’t understand. But that, the selection from “Don Juan,” about “A Path with Heart” has something to do with it. I said that, it’s a bit frustrating trying to express Youand online, because its nature has to do with face-to-face interactions with people, and improving the quality of those interactions.

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"The final frontier may be human relationships, one person to another." -- Buzz Aldrin, Astronaut

THANK YOU FOR THE POSITIVE VIBES

2007-08-26T08:39:00.000-04:00

"Appreciation is a wonderful thing. It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well." - Voltaire

It is now one year since the creation of this Youand blogSpace to contain reflections on the subject of Youand: the art of mutual understanding, and its positive vibes. Here are links to their first posts: “IN THE BEGINNING” and "CHECK-IN".

Since then, much has happened, and how exciting that so much more can be done.

I’d like to thank all of You.

Youand: the art of mutual understanding aims to raise awareness about the great need in the world today for "mutual understanding" between people. (A subject on which, I believe, none of us can authentically claim authority.) Youand employs practical exercises and human relations best practices that, once internalized, greatly increase the quality, and especially the authenticity of one's relationships with family; co-workers; in social relations; business; and cross-culturally. Youand is adaptable for any human relations situation. As for example below, THE ART OF CONNECTING course for The School of Visual Arts, which is Youand, customized for Media Arts Professionals.

Thank You, for all you've given to me throughout this year.
José Angel Santana

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"The final frontier may be human relationships, one person to another." -- Buzz Aldrin, Astronaut

YOUAND: THE ART OF CONNECTING

2007-07-30T22:05:00.000-04:00

THE ART OF CONNECTING
COURSE DESCRIPTION FOR SCHOOL OF VISUAL ARTS

In today's digitally mediated communications space, our ability to create authentic human interactions is more elusive and yet more important than ever. This course is an engaging, learner-centered experience for professionals who wish to advance their careers by employing techniques for listening and responding that ensure genuine human connection-a critical "secret ingredient" in all successful business. Whether you need to get to the next level with employers, co-workers, staff or clients, the authenticity of your connection will make the difference. Utilizing practices from the craft of acting, management consulting and high-level government training, you will learn to really see, hear and experience what others communicate verbally and non-verbally. Exercises include how to focus your attention on the complexities of another person's subtle and delicate behavior-actions, emotions, needs and values-and to create positive interactions, which allow opportunities to arise that might otherwise go unseen. Through fun, user-friendly and practical approaches, students will learn how to leave a positive impression on others with their newly found ability to infuse relationships with presence, empathy and an ability for creating career-shifting experiences. Perfect for laying a solid foundation of relationships for future collaborations.

SCHOOL OF VISUAL ARTS
8 Weeks
Wednesdays: Sep 19 - Nov 14
Hours: 6:30PM - 9:30PM
Instructor: José Angel Santana, Ph.D.

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"The final frontier may be human relationships, one person to another." -- Buzz Aldrin, Astronaut

Youand Alchemy Inc. October 5th Program

2007-07-30T20:47:00.000-04:00

A day of mutual understanding with the boys from Alchemy Inc., Akron OH - can't wait.

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"The final frontier may be human relationships, one person to another." -- Buzz Aldrin, Astronaut

FILM FOR MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING

2007-07-27T17:14:00.000-04:00

Hispaniola Screenplay Takes Prize
4th Annual HBO/NYILFF Short Film Competition

". . . Hispaniola is an endearing story of two boys from different worlds - one Haitian, the other Dominican - who develop a strong bond through baseball. The completed short, now filming in Santo Domingo, will be exhibited at the 2007 New York International Film Festival, July 24-29, and on HBO's programming services including HBO Latino."

Filmmaker:
Freddy Vargas is an award-winning filmmaker born in the Dominican Republic and educated in the United States. Having spent half his life in each of these countries has allowed him to navigate the waters of two different cultures.

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"The final frontier may be human relationships, one person to another." -- Buzz Aldrin, Astronaut

THE WORLD TODAY

2007-07-01T20:38:00.001-04:00

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"The final frontier may be human relationships, one person to another." -- Buzz Aldrin, Astronaut

SUMMERTIME

2007-06-23T13:51:00.001-04:00

Summertime, summertime, summertime, summertime . . .

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"The final frontier may be human relationships, one person to another." -- Buzz Aldrin, Astronaut

A PATH WITH HEART

2007-05-18T22:59:00.000-04:00

Just returned from dinner with my dear longtime friend David Guc. Who, strangely I had not seen in 20 years. He has always been a model to me of great listening. Someone who always has made the time to listen to others. For a moment, we sat together on a little island of conversation, where we found a common ground having to do with "heart." And, it stayed with me for the rest of the night, came home, found and blogged this:

"Anything is one of a million paths. Therefore you must always keep in mind that a path is only a path; if you feel you should not follow it, you must not stay with it under any conditions. To have such clarity you must lead a disciplined life. Only then will you know that any path is only a path, and there is not affront, to oneself or to others, in dropping it if that is what your heart tells you to do. But your decision to keep on the path or to leave it must be free of fear or ambition.

I warn you. Look at every path closely and deliberately. Try it as many times as you think necessary. Then ask yourself, and yourself alone, one question. This question is one that only a very old person asks. My benefactor told me about it once when I was young, and my blood was too vigorous for me to understand it. Now I do understand it.

I will tell you what it is: Does this path have a heart?

All paths are the same, they lead nowhere. They are paths going through the bush, or into the bush. In my own life I could say I have traversed long, long paths, but I am not anywhere. My benefactor's question has meaning now. "Does this path have a heart?" One makes you strong; the other weakens you.

The trouble is nobody asks the question: and when a person finally realizes that they have taken a path without heart, the path is ready to kill them. At that point very few people stop to deliberate and leave the path.

A path without a heart is never enjoyable. You have to work hard even to take it. On the other hand, a path with heart is easy; it does not make you work at liking it.

For my part there is only the traveling on paths that have heart, on any path that may have heart. There I travel, and the only worthwhile challenge is to traverse its full length.

And there I travel looking, looking, breathlessly."

- Don Juan
from: The Teachings of Don Juan: A Yaqui Way of Knowledge by Carlos Casteneda

David also brought to my attention this great organization, Search for Common Ground, a path with heart.

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"The final frontier may be human relationships, one person to another." -- Buzz Aldrin, Astronaut

A POETICS OF PEACE

2007-05-17T18:09:00.000-04:00

And so, in putting together a CV, which I’ve not done before, for a class that is in development based on the Youand approach, for a school that must remain nameless at the moment, I came across the text version of an article that my friend David Barton inspired and I wrote, that was published in the Salt Journal, in 1997. (Please scroll down. The first page is coverage of an award won and a quote from one of the City @ Peace participants.)

In reading this article over today, ten years after, I see how it expresses, faithfully, the ethos of a Youand approach.

Though it’s about work with teenagers, it is really about work that can be done by most people with each other, if instead of imposing our will on others we stay open to their humanity and begin by simply listening deeply to where they are coming from, and honoring them in some way. Even if, to respectfully disagree and present one’s own point of view. - Your point of view, and mine.

Here it is: A Poetics of Peace (Yes. I did miss putting an accent over the "e" in my name.)

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"The final frontier may be human relationships, one person to another." -- Buzz Aldrin, Astronaut

WHAT MY FRIENDS SAY

2007-05-04T14:12:00.000-04:00

A few days ago, I posted a letter by Ryan Stevens, published in the Tracy Press, because it moved me a great deal. Here is that post: youandblogSpace. I also sent a letter to ALL my friends (below) with Ryan's letter. Many of them in phone conversations and in person have mentioned Ryan's letter to me, about how moving yes, and prescient his letter is.

Others sent me their impressions via email (below).

My letter to friends: Not intended as a political statement.

I don't know how many of you have seen this on the blog, and I mean that not to encourage you to go there, but because if you have already seen this, excuse me. This is for those who have not.

After a year of development of my work, which as you know I call "Youand," having made quite good progress, this "thing" still keeps me up at all hours of the night, when I should be resting. I get up at 4am each day to exercise. And as it's 12:55 now, and it will be another while before I get this email off, I'm moving behind the "8 ball" once again early in the week.

But why?

For some reason I think these matters are of utmost importance. I guess there is a part of me, that can not accept that we as a nation by and large sit by while our leaders take the world down the path to destruction, and I, for some reason that escapes me, feel the need to do a little bit to avert that.

Here is the reason I'm up late tonight; sensing unfinished business I got out of bed to send this, and to make sure everyone I care about in some way receives it.

On the blog I wrote about reading this, "Today I feel less alone." I don't usually say this, but perhaps it (Ryan Steven's Letter) should be passed on.

---

Here is some of what my friends say:

"thank you josé!

when we talk next time i have to share a quick story with you - an interaction between me and a perfect stranger on the little bus - which fits right in to this conversation and the way of thinking about what is happening to us, what is going on in the world and how we all so separated and isolated in our own little internal worlds... julia bernadsky"

---

"my friends and I were having a big debate about art, and being an artist, and the problems of the world and how they can be addressed. It is comforting to read this email and the message of action and hope that Youand brings.
Thank you
Luke (Humphry)"

---

"reminds me of a conversation i had with my 10th grade English teacher in 1968 when i was 16 & on the way to the state one-act play festival. i remember the dismissive look on her face as i expressed my belief that world leaders could sit at a table & resolve differences without resort to war, that indeed all conflicts could be resolved without such resort. i could not believe the look on her face, how she turned to the other chaperon as we crossed the Hampton Roads Bridge Tunnel & asked if she could believe how naive i was. she wouldn't say anything else.

that conversation is still with me nearly 40 years later.

sad thing is, we were both right.
violence & peacefulness
woven into the fabric
like shadow & light

now how do we honor the violence
without liberalizing it

how do we remember the gods
without the blood

these are the questions

we do not need a monotheistic bond
(Ryan's plea founded in the great Unity idea that inherently has schism as its shadow) your youand idea recognizes the polyvalent nature of the human experience: the bond would be the cold war idea of mutual self-destruction i suppose: how do we avoid that & still not skulk thru the night with our assassin mentality trying to get our way without seeming to break the "bond"

distrust is as deeply organic a human trait as is the hydra-headed impulse to love.

the only thing of value that Ronald Reagan ever said was "Trust but verify."

it is a very complex world & the pleas of St. Francis have been with us a very long time.

so too the works of Machiavelli. -- Richard Lance Williams"

---

"here's what this prompts me to remember:that which I have been taught..the never ending lessons. the challenge and responsibility to be as whole and loving in life,in the world as the world is no judgment;seems to me, to remain the same as it has been forever. to be moderate,kind,patient and compassionate.. to be tolerant,to take action as one 's heart moves one. to have courage,to be accepting and to be right acting ,thinking ,doing. all seem to remain the same. the challenge that we can be self charged,to think for ourselves, which is constant and that the nature of human being is what it is and continues. learn by observing,teach by example.work hard and play close attention. It's like a game and perspective is essential. like a samurai. it's not easy...but it's simple.

it's not that we don't have thoughts and feelings...but it's the actions we take;big or small -- Michael Garfield Levine"

---

"Flaws? What flaws?

I thought we were all perfect...?

Jose, what kind of excercises do you do at 4am?

What are you "benching" these days?

Come live in Europe.....it's a flaw thing...maybe?

New York always seems to stand alone..no? - j."

---

"I agree with you about the world- but I can't look at it until this weekend. (Ryan's Letter) That sounds ridiculous doesn't it?. . . (but) I don't have time for blogs. I don't have time for computers. i only have time for oil, turpenoid, and pencils and charcoal. "

---

"Yup.....I do understand, I've been up late/early myself lately....trying to listen for the next step through this most rapidly escalating of interesting times....Bless you!! -- Samantha Bonavia"

---

"wonderful letter. love -- joan scott"

---

"Jose,

Thanks for the letter. If I knew Ryan Stevens I would tell him not to give up hope. Things have been much worse. In World War II, 400,000 American soldiers died, and maybe 50 million people from other countries. In the Cuban missile crisis, which we lived through, we were incredibly close to an all out nuclear war. Today we're almost friends with the Russians, and the Chinese are more interested in selling us stuff than in hitting us with either their ICBMs or their little red books.

More people have freedom of speech (and freedom of blogging) than ever before. More people have enough to eat today than ever before. I could go on and on.

Sure it hurts to hear of the shooting at Virginia Tech or of one more car bombing in a marketplace in Iraq. But we should also keep things in perspective.

Yes, we have to reach out to others. It doesn't always work, but we've got to keep trying.

Best Wishes,

Steve Marick"

---

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"The final frontier may be human relationships, one person to another." -- Buzz Aldrin, Astronaut

MR. EMPATHY

2007-05-02T18:00:00.000-04:00

BRANDO AGAIN TONIGHT: CLICK IMAGE FOR TCM BRANDO

How much time did you make today to listen to someone?

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"The final frontier may be human relationships, one person to another." -- Buzz Aldrin, Astronaut

HOW ABOUT: LISTEN TO SOMEONE TODAY?

2007-05-01T10:34:00.000-04:00

BRANDO TONIGHT: CLICK IMAGE FOR TCM BRANDO INDEX

How much time will you make to listen to someone today?

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"The final frontier may be human relationships, one person to another." -- Buzz Aldrin, Astronaut

RYAN'S PHONE EXPERIMENT SECTION

2007-04-30T22:57:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, I added a new section to the youandblogSpace called, "Ryan's Phone Experiment." With Youand's focus on the great need today for more understanding between people, I believe the way Ryan Fitzgerald has captured the imagination of so many people can not be taken for granted or written off in any way by those who claim to care about human connection. I believe it is worthy of serious (fun) reflection, but in a way that also does not overwhelm the youandblogSpace. So you'll find the "Ryan's Phone Experiment" section just to the right.

Let's see what happens:)

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"The final frontier may be human relationships, one person to another." -- Buzz Aldrin, Astronaut

ANOTHER RYAN: RYAN STEVENS, TRACY

2007-04-28T16:52:00.000-04:00

Today I received a note from a newsgroup friend, Deborah Littleton. The note contained this letter to the editor.

Tracy Press/ Wednesday, 25 April 2007

A letter from Ryan Stevens

EDITOR,

It’s hard to watch or read the news. It seems the whole world is aflame in bombings, massacres, shootings and unavoidable global tension. Even locally, it is impossible to escape the news of possible or impending calamity when we hear about local schools being locked down as a reaction to violent threats. I thought about why all of this is a reality while walking around town Friday, and I noticed how some people avert their glances away from anyone in an attempt to avoid exchanging a simple hello with a passerby.

All of this got me thinking. We’re all so horribly disconnected from each other. We’re all so fragmented. We divide ourselves along lines of faith, politics, geography and social class, and these lines seem to grow deeper and with more breadth, becoming increasingly more violent and full of invective as the days go by. And instead of celebrating and embracing our differences, we accentuate them and denounce others in an attempt to make ourselves look better by approximation.

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Why can’t we all see that we can be united in our differences When you think of it, we are all similar in the fact that we are all flawed, we all have dreams and we all want to be happy.

Our flaws are forever confronting us. That’s life. Some people react to this by acknowledging their flaws and trying to better themselves. Others try to obscure their flaws by drawing attention to the flaws of others, cutting someone else down in an attempt to make one’s self appear taller. For far too long, we have been cutting each other down, leaving all of us stunted in the process.

It is time to end the fragmentation. It is time that we, as a community — whether it be a community in the sense of a city or a nation, a church or simply as human beings en masse — join to form a bond.

It is time we lifted each other rather than aiding in the collective fall.

Ryan Stevens, Tracy

What if we shared Ryan Stevens' words with as many people as possible?

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"The final frontier may be human relationships, one person to another." -- Buzz Aldrin, Astronaut

RYAN FITZGERALD (YOUTUBE) CLAIMS FIRST EVER YOUAND AWARD

2007-04-28T10:55:00.000-04:00

-- click above to go to the Ryan Fitzgerald YouTube channel --

-- click on image to enlarge--

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"The final frontier may be human relationships, one person to another." -- Buzz Aldrin, Astronaut

"LONELY SOCIETY?" I THINK SO.

2007-04-28T05:25:00.000-04:00

To think that if even 500 people made such a call to a stranger, but 5000?

Some great insights in - Josie Morris' post "Lonely Society?" over at "new persuasion: Under Currents." (click on read text to go there)

"Even though Americans seem more connected than every before with email , myspace, text messaging, and online chat rooms, in reality we are more disconnected than ever before. We lack the basic need of people we can count on when we need them the most. We talk to people halfway around the world yet don't know who our neighbors are."

Josie Morris mentions and links about a study published in American Sociological Review about the trend today towarad "social isolation." Here is a link to one of the study's co-authors Lynn Smith-Lovin on NPR:

I wonder how many of us called Ryan, because "we" needed human connection for ourselves or because sensing Ryan's loneliness we did it to help him? Or, was it perhaps a spontaneous cultural "mutual understanding" that we are all so lonely - Ryan needs a call, I need to talk, we all need a hug?

Or, might we be in the midst of an emerging cultural myth?

Might YouTube be what his mirror was to Narcissus? So interesting how young Ryan Fitzgerald (RyanTwin20), like Narcissus, is a twin.

Following the thread . . .

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"The final frontier may be human relationships, one person to another." -- Buzz Aldrin, Astronaut

ON THE EXPERIENCE OF RYAN FITZGERALD

2007-04-27T14:07:00.000-04:00

If you read the Tags (below) and view the video again: I'm Here For EVERYONE! Give Me A Call! 7742531962 . . .

What is your PERCEPTION?

What is your EXPERIENCE?

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PREFACE: The intention behind this post is solely to contemplate on the phenomenon of human PERCEPTION, how we EXPERIENCE our PERCEPTIONS; and, how the interplay of individuals' PERCEPTION(s) and EXPERIENCE(s) can lead to misunderstanding.

What Ryan Fitzgerald says in this latest video:

" . . . also, I'm not gay. I don't know why people keep saying this. There's a lot of people trying to say that, but it's not true. I'm doing this to help people and for no other reason other than that."

A few days ago, "Youand: the art of mutual understanding" awarded Ryan the first ever, "Youand Award." (Ryan has yet to claim it.) I said, "Just spoke with Ryan. He's not only legit, but coming from a very good place."

Since Youand has everything to do with mutual understanding for its own sake, I thought Ryan's simple gesture to lend an ear to another, with no agenda, was a great example of Youand in action. The huge outpouring of response to Ryan's offer was both inspiration and affirmation of the great need today for ways to improve the quality of our human relations.

With the mainstream media shinning such bright light on Ryan's beautiful gesture I missed a few details of his original offer. Or, was it that my own need for meaningful human connection influenced my perception? Over the next few days after his original simple 49 second video, two other video posts of his have followed.

In each of Ryan's next two videos he makes special mention about his displeasure that people think he is "gay." And he says that he can not understand why anyone might think so. Or, why they might think that his intentions are not without agenda.

A Youand approach recognizes that one's PERCEPTION in not "reality." And, that each person has their own EXPERIENCE of their own PERCEPTION, which also is not "reality." That for example, two people can observe the same event, each have their own PERCEPTION of that same thing, and each have their own unique EXPERIENCE of that same event.

This outlook is not unique to Youand. The Roman Stoic philosopher, Epictetus said: "Work, therefore to be able to say to every harsh appearance, "You are but an appearance, and not absolutely the thing you appear to be." And then examine it by those rules which you have, and first, and chiefly, by this: whether it concerns the things which are in our own control, or those which are not; and, if it concerns anything not in our control, be prepared to say that it is nothing to you."

Ahead, you'll see screen shots of Ryan's first two YouTube video posts with detail views of the the bio and tags sections for each post.

-- first post --

click on image to enlarge

-- second post --

If you read the Tags and view the video again: I'm Here For EVERYONE! Give Me A Call! 7742531962 . . .

What is your PERCEPTION?

What is your EXPERIENCE (thoughts, judgments, conclusions, opinions, labels, feelings, values that come to mind)?

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"The final frontier may be human relationships, one person to another." -- Buzz Aldrin, Astronaut