Love & Hor ny hor ny... VERY hor ny comical thoughts...

I Want A Mask! Not A Condom!

2009-11-08T13:11:00.001+08:00

IRONY AT ITS BEST

A few thousands people get the Swine Flu,

and everybody wants to wear a mask.

10 million people have AIDS,

and no one wants to wear a condom.

Penis........NOT LONG ENOUGH!!!!

2009-10-26T09:18:00.000+08:00

A woman was helping her husband set up his computer. At the appropriate point in the process the computer advised him that he would now need to enter a password. Something he will use to log on.

The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention. So, when the computer asked him to enter his password he made it plainly obvious to his wife what he was entering by stating each letter out loud as he
typed:

P E N I S

His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied:

PASSWORD
REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH !!

He! He! Those of u who work & have to log on their work station will understand that it is a real pain in the ass trying to remember the various password to use & some more have to use a combination of character, number & minimal number of combination, usually ranging from 6 to 12. Now it become a real pain in the ass when u r force to input new password every 60 days & u r not allow to use the same password ever! Oh! Yes! One of my work station impost such protocol!

So how do u over cum such rule........how about the following:-

penis1cm ( look my penis is definitely much much longer then this )
penis2cm
penis3cm
penis4cm
& so on & when u r tried of using cm u can use inches like so:-
penis1in
penis2in...........

Now some smart ass IT bugger will make such password 'illegal', u can try the following password & see if it is 'illegal':-

fuck ( follow by ur boss name/initial or even ur company name )
fack ( if ur IT bugger always poke into the net )
pussy ( u can use poosie instead )
knnccb ( if ur IT if a hokkian/hakka bugger, it meant 'fuck ur mother smelly pussy )
3278 ( if ur IT is a foochow bugger, it meant fuck ur pussy )
BloodyMary ( if ur IT bugger is a 'Ang Moh' )
FuckMU ( if ur IT bugger is a Manchester United fanatic )
FuckLiverfool ( if ur IT bugger is a Liverpool fanatic )

Well the above is just some of the 'illegal' password, do add some more in the comment!

Have a very nice day to all my dear readers! :)

12" Vs 14"

2009-09-22T19:21:00.001+08:00

Aiyoh! If mine is 7” I will be very happy already ( Hemmm! On the other hand mine could be much longer that that but it is only for my gf usage! ) ! Now u r talking about a 12”…………r u a giant or u r a wild buffalo! Come on guy I am sure most of ur average ‘equipment’ is about between 3” to 6” ( just my wild guess ) so what if I post up an entry about 12” vs 14”! I am sure u want to know how it feel like, how deep will it go, does it feel like what a 12” should or how about a 14”! The extra 2” make any different? Well first thing first……….ask any ladies?! I can assure any extra inches will make a big different & in this case the extra 2” will make a big different! Ok enough talking I will now show u the pic of a 12” vs a 14”!!!!

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There, what do u think of this! Oh! Come on my dear readers, surely u don’t expect me to post up a pic of a 12” ‘didi’ ( cock ) vs a 14” ‘didi’ now do u? Oh! Well maybe be in future post. Now this will be a post on SVS PC-12NSD sub woofer vs Paradigm DSP-3400. And as show in the pic the SVS PC-12NSD is one humungous dicky looking sub, towering over the shortish Paradigm DSP-3400.

So how is performance of the SVS PC-12NSD vs the Paradigm DSP-3400? Well I expect the SVS PC-12NSD to kick Paradigm DSP 3400 ass as it is more powerful with 325w vs 300w. The only saving grace the Paradigm DSP 3400 has is a bigger sub woofer at 14” vs SVS PC-12NSD 12”. After setting up the sub, all setting is the same except for the sub, even the setting of the two subs are the same. Test track uses are U571, Transformer, Ironman & some song. All this track are either in Dolby Digital 5.1 or in DTS 5.1.

And the finding is Paradigm DSP 3400 is a better sub when compare to the SVS PC-12NSD. The SVS PC-12NSD just can’t go as low as the Paradigm DSP 3400 & also it power output is not as powerful or as loud as the Paradigm DSP 3400 even though the SVS has a more powerful amp. Measured by SPL meter, to output at the same level, the SVS gain level has to be set higher by about 10%.

Well I am actually not very surprise as this is a very unfair comparison as SVS PC-12NSD is the entry level subs where as the Paradigm DSP-3400 is the top range of the ported Paradigm sub woofer. Now if only I can get my hand on a SVS PC-13Ultra that will be a more suitable candidate.

Now while all this performance test is being carried I did find some annoying vibrating noise coming from the metal grill on top of the SVS & also from the sub woofer itself, this happen at very high volume & I did bottom the sub on a few occasion. I suspect some lose wire inside & thus this call for an inspection inside. He! He! Oh yes! I love to open up & inspect the inside of almost anything’s ( Being a Horny fellow I feel so sexited! It is almost just like when I first open up & poke into my gf for the very first time! So I almost whisper “Come on Baby! Spray opens ur sexy leg!” Ehhhh! I meant when I unscrew the few screw to open up the SVS PC-12NSD. )!

Opening the SVS is a simple affair just 10 screws & I am done! Oh! I have to open up from behind, I meant underneath as I can’t took out the plate amp ( SVS has the weird idea of using a square hole screw to secure the plate amp, yes it can still be taken out but a bit of a bother so just taking out the sub woofer is easier. )

The above pic shown the inside of the SVS PC, notice that I have to put the up-side down SVS on a sofa cushion so as not to damage the metal grill which incidentally can't be taken out as it is being glue to the body. The material of the cylinder itself is made from a sort of high density paper pulp well that is what it look like to me, the base is made from laminated plywood. Without the heavy sub woofer, the SVS 'body' is not very heavy.

Now this is how a SVS sub woofer look likes & it is very heavy. Notice the heavy double magnate. This sub woofer oozes high quality & power. On its own without comparison to the Paradigm DSP 3400 (whose sub woofer is even bigger & more impressive) the SVS PC-12NSD will beat most other similarly priced sub woofer. Oh yes the ratting sound is being solved as I just position the sub wire so that it don't touched the inside wall. The grill rattling is still that, but not that noticeable unless the volume is really crank up.

Do I like this SVS PC-12NSD? Oh yes! For its price & performance but I don’t like it finished! The ‘high end fabrics’ carpet like material covering the body of the SVS PC-12NSD, love to attract dust & even a few hairs! On most other sub woofer cleaning is just a simple affair using a damp cloth, but for SVS PC sub woofer u got to use a vacuum cleaner!

Also using this carpet like material as covering, the SVS PC sub woofer look more like those use in car sub woofer. This somehow ‘lower’ is ‘value’ as a top grade home HT sub woofer. In fact when I proudly show off the SVS PC-12NSD to one of my gust……………his first remark is what the hell r u doing putting a ‘drum’ ( apparently ‘drum’ is a cylinder sub woofer used in car ice system……..typically found in a ‘Ah Beng’ car ice! ) in ur living room! Luckily only one such remark from this fellow who is into car ice, while most of my gusts marvel at such a sub woofer.

Well I took the liberty to ‘install’ the SVS PC-12NSD in my car & also my 4X4 & boy it did look good & very much at home! Now that is one very versatile sub woofer! If I do get tired of using it as my home HT sub woofer I can always took out the plate amp & sub woofer & in its place a high end car mono block amp & car sub woofer & it performance will be awesome! Well if the SVS PC sub is to be finished in shiny Piano black this option as car ‘drum’ sub woofer will be out, but then in my opinion it will surely enhance it ‘value’ as a top quality HT sub woofer!

Since I got two sub woofers on hand I might as well set up my HT system to 7.2 & that really rock! It is now like a war zone whenever a bomb goes off, the floor, ceiling, table vibrate & even my ball feel it! Oh yes! 7.2 rocks! The SVS PC-12NSD wills not performance like the Paradigm DSP 3400 but it sure did compliment it! So if u do find this post too 'horny' u r wellcum to poke in here, a more 'normal' version.Oh yes here are my previous ‘review’ on the Paradigm DSP 3400 here (horny vision) & here.

'Nen Nen' ( Breast ) Being 'Played' Everyday!!!

2009-09-10T08:50:00.000+08:00

You know there are so many TV channels, each starved of new programs.In a rural program for farmers, a female TV reporter seeking the main cause of Mad Cow disease, arranged for an interview with a farmer who may have some theories on the matter ..

The interview was as follows:

The lady reporter: "I am here to collect information on the possible sources of Mad Cow Disease. Can you offer any reason for this disease?"

The farmer stared at the reporter and said: "Do you know that a bull mounts a cow only once a year?"

Reporter (obviously embarrassed) : "Well, sir, that's a new piece of information.. but what's the relation between this phenomenon and Mad Cow disease?"

Farmer: "And, madam, do you know that we milk a cow twice a day?"

Reporter: "Sir, this is really valuable information, but what about getting to the point?"

Farmer: "I am getting to the point, madam. Just imagine, if I was playing with your tits twice a day ... and only screwing you once a year, wouldn't you get mad?"

The program was never aired ......

And now to all my lady readers.............Will You Get Mad If I 'Play' With Your 'Nen Nen' ( Breast ) Everyday But Only Poke You Once A Year???

10 Types Of Ladies! Which Types R U?

2009-08-03T10:38:00.001+08:00

there are 10 types of girl in this word, how? just check it out.

No.1 hard disk girls:
'' she remember everything FOREVER ''

No.2 RAM girls:
'' she forgets about you, the moment you turn her off ''

No.3 CD rom girls:
'' she is always faster and faster ''

No.4 windows girls:
'' every one knows that she can't do anything right, but no one can live without her ''

No.5 multimedia girls:
'' she makes horrible things look beautiful ''

No.6 screensaver girls:
'' she is good for nothing but atleast she is fun ''

No.7 internet girls:
'' difficult to access ''

No.8 server girls:
'' always busy when you need her ''

No.9 e-mail girls:
'' every ten things she says, eight are nonsense ''

No.10 virus girls:
'' also knowns as WIFE when you are not expecting her, she comes,installs herself and use all your resources. If you try to uninstall her, you will lose something, If you dont try to uninstall her......... .....you will lose everything.

So to all my dear readers which types of ladies r u & for the guys which type of gf do u have?

Sexerise! For Better Health & Burn Calories!!!

2009-06-17T09:48:00.000+08:00

REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent - 12 Calories
Without her consent - 2,187 Calories

I know as I have try to 'rape' gf & removing her cloths is a real pain in the ass.............now I understand why a lady takes ages to get dressed!

OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands - 8 Calories
With one hand - 12 Calories
With your teeth - 485 Calories

I have no try my teeth before but with more practice u will get the hang of it.

PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection - 6 Calories
Without an erection - 3,315 Calories

This I have no idea as it is my gf who dress my 'bro'! And with practice she is now quite good in condoming up my cock!

POSITIONS:
Missionary - 12 Calories
69 lying down - 78 Calories
69 standing up - 812 Calories
Wheelbarrow - 216 Calories
Doggy Style - 326 Calories
Italian chandelier - 2,912 Calories

Try all the above except the 'Italian chandelier'..........Actually I have no idea what style is that & beside peasant fellow like me don't have any chandelier just cheapo flo lamp! But I can say try banging for 20 minutes in any of the above will make u sweat like a wild boar in heat!

ORGASMS:
Real - 112 Calories
Fake - 1,315 Calories

So far all is real for gf...........Hemmmmm maybe because of this she didn't look too tired whereas for me I am all wet as to make her cum I have to work real hard!

POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging - 18 Calories
Getting up immediately - 36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately - 816 Calories

No really applicable for me as I do sometime get out of bed to have a few puff after a good banging sexerise!

GETTING A SECOND ERECTION:
If you are:
20-29 years - 36 Calories
30-39 years - 80 Calories
40-49 years - 124 Calories
50-59 years - 1,972 Calories
60-69 years - 7,916 Calories
70 and over - Results are still pending

This I am not really sure as a good blow job will get my 'equipment' all charged up in no time!

DRESSING AFTERWARDS:
Calmly.. - 32 Calories
In a hurry - 98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door - 5,218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door - 13,521 Calories

This is not applicable to me as so far I never get dressed after banging my gf & so far I have only bang my gf.............He! He! Maybe next time I bang some other lady & try?

Results may vary! So to all my dear readers, what do u think of the above? Have u try it out?

OH BTW THERE'S A LOT OF SADNESS IN THE WORLD!
Right now, as you read this,
69 Million People are having SEX ! He! He! So R U banging ur gf/wife now? Or r u still on ur computer reading my crappy entries?

Darling 'U R Beautiful'!!!???

2009-06-03T13:15:00.000+08:00

I am being 'force' to say 'Darling U R So Beautiful' even if she is so ugly ( Now tell me how can u say a lady is beautiful when she put on her 'beauty mask'??? ). To all my dear readers surly u do ask ur hubby/bf how beautiful u look after u just have ur hairdo don't u? Yes! This is the most common time when a lady ask this question ' How do I look? '!!!

Trust me on this I know! And my answer is 'Honey! U look fantasTIT! Shall I 'poke' u now?!!!' Last time I use to answer back 'Aiyoh! Why spend so much on ur hairdo? What u spend on ur hairdo can pay for the whole month living expenses! Yah Lah! Of cause u look beautiful after spending so much!' And the result from this remark is 'NO POKEING for the whole week!!! & my gf will be sulking for the next few days!

Now read the following & read my ending:-

Telling your wife she's not pretty may soon be an offense

By MUGUNTAN VANAR

KOTA KINABALU: A husband telling his wife that she is no longer pretty in an attempt to humiliate her can be classified as an emotional violence offence if amendments are made to the Domestic Violence Act (DVA)1994.

The plan is to amend the DVA for the inclusion of a clause on emotional violence against women.

Currently, they are only protected only against physical abuse, Women's Development Department director-general Datuk Dr Noorul Ainur Mohd Nur said.

She said on Wednesday that the aim for proposing the amendment was to safeguard women both physically and emotionally.

Dr Noorul said emotional violence was a form of abuse that would deeply scar a woman and lower their self-esteem, dignity and self-confidence.

“It could be a case where her husband tells his wife she is ugly or humiliates her until she feels emotionally pressured,” she told reporters at the end of a seminar on how to curb violence against women at Wisma Wanita here.

She added they were in the process of bringing the proposed amendments to Parliament.

State Community development and Consumer Affairs Minister Datuk Azizah Mohd Dun closed the seminar organised by Sabah Women’s Affairs Department.

Azizah, in her speech, said that there was a need for the law to protect emotional violence against women.

Now due to this I have no choice but say 'Honey U R So Beautiful'! I am a poor fellow I cannot afford to be sue by any ladies up-side down & in-side out!

Oh yes, I do believed ladies need 'protection' against 'emotional violence' but how about us guy? Don't we need 'protection' too? What will happen if the following happen?

My gf scream at me 'U r really useless! Good for nothing buffalo! Not! U r not even qualified to be a buffalo! U got such a short DICK!!!& it is SOFT too!!!' Now tell me my dear readers will I be 'emotional raped'??? Can I sue my gf? Where is my recourse? Where can I get help & heal my 'emotion'???

So tell me, my dear readers what is you opinions?

P/S My gf is really 'beautiful' ok...............& He! He! The above 'conversation' never did take place ( I hope it never will! ) & please I don't not qualifiel to be a 'buffallo'!

On Heat! I Am On Heat!

2009-05-15T09:27:00.000+08:00

R u on heat? By this it normally meant u r real horny...........ready do to poking ( fucking ) or to be poked if u r a lady. Well I am a real horny guy, well online that is ( in real life I am a very boring fellow ) so I am on 'heat' most of the time, every ready to poke into any available 'hole'!

Nah! This post is not about 'on heat'...........it is about real heat. It is so damn hot lately. The weather is like going on heat wave. So very very hot! So to all my dear readers what do u do in during this hot weather?

Take a bath! That is what I do as taking bath is the cheapest meant to keep cool. But it is like taking a 'hot' bath instead as the water is also 'hot'. So right after bathing I am all in sweat against!

Switch on air-con! Well for most people but poor bum like me can't afford the electric bill, so only switch on air-con if bathing method fail.

Take off all your cloths! Wear nothing! Now that is what I do! He! He! Of cause I can do this as I leave in the country side with no neighbor around. Wow! It feel real nice to go about naked, it feel real windy & nice 'down there'! Now how nice that will be if we didn't discovered wearing cloth.

Now this should solve my 'heat' problem except it made me go on 'heat' instead! Now seeing me going about naked in the house make my gf real horny & of cause she fondle & play with my 'bro', that make me go on 'heat' mode so poking session started & that make me sweat all over against!

So to my dear readers all the above methods don't work for me. Any other suggestion? So how do u keep cool in this hot weather?

Hamsap ( Horny ) Joke!

2009-04-14T11:23:00.000+08:00

Failure is not when ur girlfriend leaves you...
It's only when u leave her a virgin.

Tension is when wife is pregnant!
Terror: When girlfriend is pregnant!
Horror: When both r pregnant!
Tragedy: When U r Not responsible 4 both!

The Blue Whale ejaculates over 40 gallons of Sperm when mating. Only 10% enters the female. And you always wondered why the sea tasted Salty?!

Why is it that a girl looks down when u say I love u?
To see if u really mean it!

Why is sex similar to shaving?
Well, because no matter how well u do it today,
tomorrow u have to do it again.

Wives are funny creatures. They don't have sex with their husbands for weeks and then they want to kill the woman who does.

Wife: My hubby & I have, what he calls-olympic sex .
Friend: Wow, must be a terrific sex life?
Wife: Not really. It only happens once in 4 Years.

The stock markets now are like an old man's dick?
Just refusing to rise, and the irony is that everyone is still getting fucked!

This week is Breast Awareness Week. Spread the slogan: We stare because we care!

The saddest part of a Man's body is his Balls.
The Lord Almighty sentenced them to: Hang Till Death !

A loud scream comes from the bedroom and the husband runs in.
He sees a guy leaping out of the window.
Wife yells: That guy just screwed me twice!
Husband: Twice? Why didn't you call me in after he screwed you once?
Wife: Because I thought it was you, until he started the second time.

What is the difference between a chicken and a baby?
Chicken is the result of a sitting hen while the baby is the result of standing cock.

If a bomb bursts in a bra, what would you get?
Tit-Bits.
And if it bursts in a man's underwear?
Banana split.

What's the diff between a bomb n a condom?
In a bomb blast population decreases & if a condom blasts population increases.

'Nen Nen'(Breast) ABCD!!!!!!!

2009-04-06T14:53:00.000+08:00

'Nen nen' or breast as in English is a very fascinating 'topic' for any normal guy ( not applicable for gay-lou who are interested in butt & rod ). Now we all know or rather heard about 'nen nen' cum in a few different size as in ABCDEF..............try to buy bra for ur gf or maybe even try to buy a nice bra for ur mummy as a mother day gifts & the sale girls will ask u!

"What is the size? ABCDEF cup size? & how many inches?!!!" Now u tell me what is ur gf 'nen nen' size or ur mummy's 'nen nen' size ( for the good son who intended to buy bra as monther day gift )! Ha! Ha! I am very sure most of my guy readers will be scratching ur head wandering what is ur gf 'nen nen' size! It is ok as in this post I will show to u the picture of different 'nen nen' size! Please don't read this post while in office as the 'nen nen' pictures are real & not cartoon!

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Now this is A size..........very nice don't u think so? Sheezzzzz my gf is this size! He! He! Just to let my dear readers know ok. Pls don't lets my gf know! She will string up my ball if she know!

Now this is really beautiful! Much nicer that the 'nen nen' in A size. How I wish my gf 'nen nen' is a B-sized. Well at least I got something to 'hold' on to & cupped!

From B we 'up-graded' to C -class ( Now am I posting like a car salesman? C-class as in Merc car! )! Wow! This is big! Dam looking at the pic I suddenly have the urg to suck some milk. Oh! I meant drink some warm milk!

Gosh! Look at D size 'nen nen'??? Oh! How I wish I could buried my face in this pair of great 'nen nen'! Hemmmmm! Now I am thinking of eating either a papaya or a water melon!

This is what happen when u enhance a D size 'nen nen'. U end up with E-sized 'nen nen'! Look I don't want to suffocated under those E-size 'nen nen'! What do u get if u up-graded or enhance an E-size 'nen nen'???? Should u be afraid, after all I did mention I don't want to 'suffocated' in E-size 'nen nen'? Oh! Yes! I think u should be afraid, very afraid, in fact u should be frighten!!!

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Nah! This is how a F-size 'nen nen' look like! See! In fact so frightening that there is no live 'cock' around so the three ladies will have to made do with a 'plastic cock'!!! He! He! Hope I haven't frighten off my dear readers!

Dead Cock!

2009-03-23T08:53:00.000+08:00

Take a short break from stress and enjoy this joke my dear readers. Ok, this is how it sounds like:

Judge : "You want to divorce your husband for threatening you with his DEADLY WEAPON?"

Wife : "You got me wrong, Your Honor. I'm divorcing him for threatening me every night with a DEAD WEAPON!"

Hope u enjoy this very short entry..........He! He! No much 'activities' due to 'dead cock'!!!

Farking 24/7!!!

2009-03-11T09:09:00.000+08:00

A man took his wife to the Rodeo and one of the exhibits was of breeding bulls.

They went up to the first pen and there was a sign that said, "This bull mated 50 times last year."

The wife poked her husband in the ribs and said, "He mated 50 times last year."

They walked a little further and saw another pen with a sign that said, "This bull mated 120 times last year."

The wife hit her husband and said, "That's more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him."

They walked further and a third pen had a bull with a sign saying, "This bull mated 365 times last year."

The wife got really excited and said, "that's once a day. You could REALLY learn something from this one"

The husband looked at her and said, "Go up and ask him if it was with the same cow."

And that, my dear readers is the problem! Now if I get to poke different ladies every night of the year I will be farking 24/7 but alas there is not such job as a ‘breeding human’!!!

Mine's 10"! 12"!!14" OMFG!!!R U A Freak!!!!!

2009-03-04T22:45:00.001+08:00

To a lady if she hears u said:-

‘Mine’s is 10”’ she will think ‘Wow! So very BIG!!!’

‘Mine’s is 12”’ She will think ‘OMG! Really???!!!’

‘Mine’s is 14”’ She will go nut! ‘R U a FREAK???!!!!’ And for sure she will look at ur crotch & try to imagine a 14” big sausage!

Now as far as I know most ladies prefer a bigger 'didi' (cock) than to smaller 'didi'! Hence the above exclamations (Oh! Come on ladies, just be honest! Admit it! U do like a big DICK! Don’t u?)!

Well it is the same for guy……….they do look at ur crotch too! Size is important in almost every aspect of our life. In most cases it is better to have a bigger size as compare to a smaller one. Now how many of u guy do wish u have a big dick? And have u try to ‘enhance’ or ‘biggerise’ it in any way possible ( How successful is this dick ‘enhancement’ anyway? It is no like a lady ‘enhancing’ & making her boob bigger which is well advertise )? And if u does have a big dick do u ‘advertise’ it to the ladies?

And now I am proud to show u mine 10”!!!!! Not! It is a 12”!!!!!!! What! Not big enough? How about 14”!!!!!!!!!Surely this will be big enough! Now for ur information my gf is complaining every night ever since I get 14”!!!! And what more I took some picture of my humongous 14”…………………

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‘What the POKE/FUCK!!!’ ‘Where is the 14” DICKY!!!’ Now I am sure that is what u think! Ha! Ha! Ha! I am very sure I fool u! Ok! Ok! I apologize, so please forgive me & do read on this post, I promise to make it as ‘horny’ as possible! Now it get real 'horny' toward the end!

He! He! For sure I am not going to post up pic of my ‘sausage’ (It is big enough for gf or maybe too big as so far no complain from this department but she did complain about the 14”! More in later part of the post.), well I might not be a VVIP now, but what happen when I become famous or a VVIP later? I will be in deep shit if so & so Minister Of Health/or whatever is aka ‘Horny Ang Moh’ & here is his dicky pic!!!! Ok the pic is actually my sub-woofer size 10”,12” & my most recent HiFi equipment a Paradigm DSP 3400 14” sub-woofer.

The above pic the 10” Roger Sub Woofer ASB100, 12” Sherwood Newcastle SP-312W (no website available thus I suspected that it is a ‘local’ product) & 14” Paradigm DSP 3400 with all the grill off. One look & u can see that the Paradigm is special with the big sub woofer! Now u will notice the two huge port ( to let off the sound pressure & to emit low frequency sound ), it is huge so I am most worry of any mousy try to crawl in & build a nest inside & most importantly some kids poking in their small hand to see what is inside! See the increment of just 2” is huge (now just imagine a ‘didi’ size 4”, 6” & 8”, a lady will surely say ‘Oh! La! La!’ for an 8”)!

Now the above pic shows the size of the cabinet of the three sub woofer. Needless to say the Paradigm is huge! The size of a small safe, u can in fact play poker on it! Well actually the Paradigm DSP 3400 14" is the top model in the Paradigm DSP range, the other smaller model are the DSP 3100 10” & the DSP 3200 12”.

Thus to be on the safe side & to prevent any fellow poking the sub woofer & for the Paradigm DSP 3400 two huge port it will be safer to have the sub woofer grill on as show above.

The job of a sub-woofer is to produce very low sound frequency as in movie sound effect commonly know as LFE (low frequency effect) denoted by the .1 as in 5.1(5 speakers system),6.1(6 speakers system) & 7.1 (7 speakers system). This is also because more often than not, most front speakers cannot reproduce low frequency effect (40Hz & below) thus a sub-woofer is needed. Now sub-woofer got two types, passive (none powered thus need an amplifier) & active (self powered i.e. with build in amplifier).

Here is the back side view of the three sub woofer. Now u can see that the Roger ASB100 has two small ports located at the back, it is power by a 100W RMS class AB plate amplifier. The Sherwood Newcastle SP-312W is similarly power by a 100W RMS class AB plate amplifier. The Sherwood Newcastle is also a ported design sub woofer but the single 3” port is located at the bottom hence it is not shown. Now the Paradigm DSP 3400 back side look similar but it is being powered by a 300W RMS digital amplifier which is specially developed by Paradigm called Digital Sound Processor hence DSP.

Now I am sure you must have wander why I got three sub woofers. Well if u has read my previous entry of my Pioneer HT it is being purchase together as I think a 10” is good enough for me (Previously I got a Pioneer HTIB with a 6” sub woofer……….see from 6” to 10”, great improvement!) but alas it is not so when I go & listen to some other HT set up. It is very weak & when I increase the LFE (low frequency effect) of my avr (Onkyo TX-SR875) & also increased the volume of the Roger ASB100 it just cannot perform. At best it gives off Ooooomprararar! Ooooomprararar! This is badly distorted bass! I couldn’t really blamed it as it is meant to be use in a small room & not really suitable for movie use (which got lot of low frequency) as it is only good for 30Hz only, make worse by my big living room with a volume of 5000 cubic feet.

Now being a very poor fellow & think that I am a smart Alex I started to look around & though of modifying the Roger ASB 100 but then it is brand new & still under warranty thus I am most sexited when I manage to buy an ‘old new stock’ 12” Sherwood Newcastle. Well it performance is much better than the Roger ASB100 with some low frequency effect but somehow it lack the feel of the deep rambler of a good movie.

Now here comes the smart Alex in me! As show above I decided to change the sub woofer! He! He! I got a few car sub woofer to play with & try out! The pic show two car sub woofer (the original Sherwood Newcastle is on the left, also notice the 3” port) a 12” Pioneer car sub woofer & a 12” Mohawk car sub woofer. I like the 12” Mohawk, big, rugged, huge rubber rim surrounding the fiber cone (this meant it is a long throw sub woofer with good bass reproduction) & also most importantly I like the huge magnet as the bigger the magnet is, the sub woofer will be more powerful! Too powerful in fact as the Sherwood Newcastle can barely power up the sub woofer! As for the Pioneer 12” sub woofer it performs better & just nice for the Sherwood Newcastle.

And so for the next few months I am happy with my Pioneer Sherwood Newcastle Sub Woofer! Compare to the Roger ASB100 it is better, I got to hear some LFE in a movie.

Big trouble come when I got to listen to a Velodyne CHT-12R sub woofer, wow I really got to know what I have being missing………all the low rambler & low frequency effect! Damn! This started my craving for a good sub woofer for my HT (home theater)! The HiFi shop owner really try his best to persuade me to buy the Velodyne CHT-12R but since I already have a 12” sub woofer I am afraid that the effect is just a bit better then my modified 12” sub woofer. More over my living room is big so it is advisable to buy at least a 15” sub woofer.

Now a 15” sub woofer is much more expansive & in fact 15” sub woofer is normally reserved for the top range model in most bland (The Velodyne got 18” at the top model DD1218) and being a poor fellow I couldn’t really afford it. Beside there is no 15” sub woofer available for me to try it out in my small town. So it is with luck that I mange to buy the Paradigm DSP3400 a 14” sub woofer.

The Paradigm DSP 3400 is the top model in the newly launched (sometime in Jan 2008) DSP range. It is suitable for use in medium to large space up to 10,000 cubic feet. No too expensive (well I can still afford it by eating porridge rice for the rest of the year), it cost about 2 to 3 time of a 12” sub woofer in similar class. Perfect just what I need!

How is the Paradigm DSP 3400 14” vs Sherwood Newcastle 12” vs Roger ASB100 10”? Well I will give u a poking (farking) performance as comparison. I do hope my dear reader don’t mind as this is a ‘horny’ site thus in almost all entries it will be hornynise!

The Roger ASB100 is just like both virgin poking for the first time! U got to do poking & the guy get to cum real fast & the guy feel very happy & think his performance is OK. Now whether the lady has orgasm or not doesn’t really matter. She did her duties & the guy is happy even though he cum real fast! Now the Roger ASB100 perform quite well if u r not demanding & ur HT area is small in size as in a 10’ X 12’ room.

My modified Sherwood Newcastle with 12” Pioneer car sub woofer performance is just like a season couple poking on a regular basic. Both get to enjoy each other poking & both are happy with each other performance. Having a satisfied sexual work out is nice. The poking performance is better than a virgin, just like a 12” sub woofer will always be better than a 10” sub woofer in similar class.

Now for most ‘good’ guy who are faithful which meant they don’t ‘poke around’ a 12” sub woofer will be good enough! Now the trouble or rather craving set in once he got to taste & get to feel how it is like to poke a beautiful, sexy & very very sexually knowledgeable lady! Dam he got to know how a good ‘blowjob’ is like! How sexy & beautiful she is licking & sucking your ‘didi’! The taste & the smell of a clean, pinkish shaven pussy! The squeeze of a tight & wet pussy! Oh! It is like being in heaven! U feel like u want to be inside her forever!

Now that is how the performance is like for the Paradigm DSP 3400! Oh! The deep ramble, the sound pressure I feel! My sofa vibrates! My floor vibrates! It feels like an earthquake! In fact my whole house shook! The difference is like heaven & earth! Now I got to re watch all my blu ray collection! Wow! Watching movies took on a all new meaning! It is much better than going to the cinema!

As for my gf! She has being complaining every single time I watch movies since I got the Paradigm DSP 3400 (Unless I am real low on the volume now that will be a big letdown thus I only watch movie when she is deep asleep or out of the house! Sob! Sob! Sob!) because of the vibration! She says her heart can’t stand it & even her small boob vibrates! Hemmmmm maybe next time when I want to up-grade my sub against I should bring my gf along & ask her which sub vibrate her boob the most!!!! Now which sub vibrate gf boob the most……………that will be the best sub!

But then I had better not test out any other more powerful sub (The Paradigm Servo 15”, reference 15” & Signature 15” are the top sub in Paradigm, thus my 14” can be consider as the second in range. Real value for money!) as I might just get the craving to up-grade & economy now is getting shitty day by day! And so I shall be a very good boy & don’t ‘poke around’!!!

Well to all my dear readers what is your comment on the above long & horny review of my sub woofer? He! He! I do hope Paradigm don’t mind me equating their Paradigm DSP 3400 performance as a very good ‘poking performance’. Now if u thinks the above is too horny & not informative well, I do have a rather normal version here. It is different & more informative in helping you to choose the best & most suitable sub woofer. Oh do feel free to read up the link in this post as most of it are my past entries!

Free Sex!!!

2009-02-23T10:00:00.000+08:00

One day, there is a businessman who does not speak good English from China wanted to make his first trip to New York for business purpose. Apart from work, he also wanted to have some pleasure. Among the many places that he intended to go, he was very tempted to see the 'Statue of Liberty'. Hence, he tried to get details from the yellow pages and got the telephone 6662613.

The next day, he was very excited and wanted to see the statue. He then called a taxi. Having problem with his broken English, the following was his conversation with the taxi driver:

Driver: "Where would you like to go, Sir?"

Man: "FREE WOMAN" (direct translation from Mandarin of Statue of Liberty)

Driver: "What? Sir, this is America, nothing is free here."

Man: “How come? But I saw it in the yellow page. Here, I have the number, SEX-SEX-SEX-TWO-SEX-ONE-FREE (instead of Six-Six-Six-Two-Six-One-Three!).

Driver: " ?? ......

I am sure my dear readers that u r aware that all sort of ‘translation got lost’ when direct translation from English to Chinese. He! He! Just a ‘horny’ example!

Pokeing (Fucking) Kaw Kaw 2night! Valentine Night!

2009-02-14T12:38:00.001+08:00

While most of us will be having Valentine dinner, Valentine walk in the park ( I use to do that long long time ago trying to steal to kiss gf on the pretax that it is Valentine Day while all the mozzy is having a great time sucking out both our blood!!! ) & I do believed for the guys u will be try ur best to POKE the ladies while the ladies will hope that the guy will buy u a ‘diamond’ rings ( 99.9 % it will be fake diamond unless ur bf is dirt rich ) instead of just sending flowers, now am I correct or not? Well I will be doing the following:-!

Yes! I just bought 3 boxes of condom! Yes the sale girl gave me that ‘dirty’ look & this time she even rise her eye brow! Hey! This are for Valentine Night! First thing first………..I will take a very long bath cleaning myself inside out especially my ‘equipment’ ( Aiyah that is my ‘bro’ lah ) after that I will give my 'equipment 'one finale cleaning using liquid soap! As for gf I am sure she will shave ( Aiyah no need to ask where she shave lah!.........But if u want to know poke in here! ) herself clean using my shaver! After that I will make sure my Pokeing room is free from any mozzy ( It is most terrible to discovered that while u r pokeing ur gf half a dozen mozzy are also pokeing u & gf sucking ur bloods! )! Hemmmm maybe on the other hand I might just poke my gf in the living room! Well depend on the mood Ok!

Anyway I shall poke kaw kaw tonight! Well to all my dear readers what is ur plan 2night!

Condoms Buying!

2009-02-13T08:58:00.001+08:00

A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks,

"What are these, Dad?

To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms, son. Men use them to have safe sex."

"Oh I see," replied the boy pensively. Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school."

He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are there 3 in this package?"

The dad replies, "Those are for high school boys, ONE for Friday, ONE for Saturday, and ONE for Sunday."

"Cool" says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks, "Then who are these for?"

"Those are for college men," the dad answers, “TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday."

"WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a 12 pack.

With a sigh and a tear in his eye, the dad replied, "Those are for married men. ONE for January, ONE for February, ONE for March....."

Now to all my dear readers…………How Do U Buy Condoms? In 3,6 or 12??? Well as for me I buy in box pack of 18….usually buy 3 boxes at one go! The sale girls always give me a funny look whenever I pay for the 3 boxes of condoms! I really wander what she is thinking! I do hope it is
‘Wow! This is a real STUD!’ & it is not ‘Poor girls!’!!!

Firework & Economy...............

2009-02-09T14:28:00.000+08:00

Today marked the end of Chinese New Year celebration ( 15th day ) & so gf is busy preparing foods, not a very grand affair just on moderate scale. Hemmmm!!!! This year CNY 2009 it seem is on a 'moderate' scale too.

Take for example the letting off of firecracker, at the started of CNY, firecracker will be let off all over the town, so it will sort of like 'competition' to see who set off the loudest firecracker & who stay the longest. This is the usual scene for the past few years.

But this is no so for CNY 2009 :( In fact the firecracker last for just 15 minutes for the whole town! The shortest I have seem! This is bad, without firecracker CNY lost all its identities & it just show how bad the economy is. I am not really surprise as buying firecracker is not a cheap affair. With so many people losing job, buying only the necessities is a must.

Well as for me I never buy any firecracker as I am a 'poor' fellow & also because I am a 'chicken' when it cum to lighting up a big firecracker. Anyway CNY 2009 for me is celebrate on a very moderate scale. I didn't do much visiting & also not many people visit my humble house. I believed it is due to the bad economy & also due to the rainy weather.

To all my dear readers, how is your CNY 2009 celebration?

Cock Sing Fuck Chai!!!

2009-01-25T12:45:00.001+08:00

It is that time of the year against................Yes! It is Chinese New Year! And in another 11 hours time all the Chinese will started the count down to mid-night, getting ready to light up all the firework & praying to the 'fellow up stair' for POKEING SAKE DON'T RAIN!!!

Well not much of a problem for me as I don't play any firework ( too poor to buy & also too 'chicken' to light it up ) so rain or not I don't really care. But if it did rain, and most probably do & it will not be a noisy affair................Which is not good for me as even though I don't light firework but I do have my own unique 'count down'!

About 40 minutes before I have started my CNY count down..................with gf!!! He! He! Shall I say 'poke down'( to all my new readers I usually refer poke as to fuck )!!! It is after all 2008 ( Chinese calender ) & so foreplay will be a elaborate affair leading to a good poke to wellcum a good 2009! And so my pokeing shall started leading to an 'explosive' cum at the midnight! Now this will be good if it is all noisy as by now gf will be screaming her head off!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!! What a big wellcum for 2009!!!! So care for a second round???!!! Well that is what I plan to do every CNY but to date it is easier to say then done..........it is near inpossible to cum at the exact midnight! So far it is either to early or late when I cum! Damn !hope I do it this year!

And to all my dear readers who is still reading my cocky post...........I wish u all a very Happy & Prosperous Chinese Year & expecially the Prosperous part as economy is no so good.

Big Nen Nen (Breast)!!! Slow Down & Look!!!

2009-01-14T09:45:00.000+08:00

Have a look at the following video clip....................What say u??? BTW this is NSFW ( not safe for work ) especially if your boss is a very 'holy' bugger!

Now if the above is implemented in 'bolehland' I am very sure the traffic accident will be greatly reduced! I will cumfirm that I will in fact stop my car completely as I want to examine the 'nen nen' closely!

He! He! To all my dear readers what say u!!! Wishing Happy & Prosperous Chinese New Year to all & please drive carefully & slowly when 'balik kampung'! This is also why the above measure need to be implemented to reduced traffic accident due to speeding!

Best Deal Of The Year! Free Of Charge!!!!

2009-01-08T10:22:00.000+08:00

Look at the pic! See it is free! Free CREMATION ( Burning of body until only aches )! Now normally it cost quite a lot just to burn death body.

He! He! The above service I don't know if it is extended to Chinese New Year or not. But in this bad economy time I am not surprise to see many 'sale promotion' extended 'due to popular demand' ( Which in most case meant NO Demand! )!

To all my dear readers I do hope none of u take up the above offer! Wishes all my dear readers Happy & Very Prosperous Chinese New Year! So sorry that I miss posting up a 'Ang Moh' Happy New Year as I am too tired 'pokeing'( fucking ) gf from 2008 to 2009! :)

Sexy Pic! Have A Look & Ans 2 Questions! ( NSFW )

2008-12-09T13:33:00.000+08:00

Have a look at the following pictures! Now look carefully & answer two simple question at the end of this post!

Wah! See this sexy lady! Big 'nen nen'( breast ) & long sexy leg! Wah skirt so short!

Now look carefully! Did u see what I see???

See! This car seat can be adjusted if u got long leg!

Dam! How can I concentrated on this car! Wow! Now to all my dear reader! DID U SEE WHAT I SEE!!!

Nan! Another close up view! If u cannot see what I see I think u better have your eye checked!!!

Ok! Having look at all this above nice picture, please scroll down & answer two simple question!

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Question 1! Tell me what is the color of the panty the lady is wearing!

Now did I heard u say meat color or did I heard u say THE LADY IS NOT WEARING ANY PANTY!!!!!

Very good! The answer is the lady is NOT WEARING ANY PANTY! Now u know why at every motor show u can see photographer laying on the floor taking 'underside' photo!

Question 2! Tell me what is the color of the car she is modeling?!!!

What??? What color arrr??? Aiyoh! U don't know the answer arrr??? Ok u are allow to scroll back & have another look & at the same time have another look at the lady poosie!

He! He! Now to all my readers who are working today can go back to work! To those who are no working or no longer have a job you can have a few more look or can read up all my 'horny' post under 'horny' label just to cheer up your day!

Remember sooner or later you can find a job! It will not rain forever, the sun will cum out someday! Have a very nice day & do comment on what is the color of the car! :)

This is why!!! Horny's Explaination!!!

2008-12-01T15:38:00.001+08:00

One day, a plain-looking man came with a pretty-looking OL (Office Lady) to the LV store.He chose a bag worth Rm5k for the OL. When it came time to pay, the man took out a checkbook and wrote out a check. The salesperson was hesitant because the couple hadn't shopped there before.

The man discerned what the salesperson was thinking and he said calmly: "I sense that you are concerned that this check may bounce, right? Today is Saturday and the banks are closed. Let me suggest that I leave the check and the handbag here. When the check clears on Monday, you can deliver the handbag to this lady. How about that? The salesperson was reassured and gladly accepted the suggestion. In addition, he waived the delivery charges. He promised that he would personally make sure that this gets done.

On Monday, the salesperson took the check to the bank. The check bounced! The irate salesperson called up the client, who told him: "What is the big deal? Neither you nor I have suffered any loss. Last Saturday night, I went to bed with that girl already! Wow I have a fantastic time farking her! Oh, by the way, I thank you for your cooperation."

This story reveals the nature of the sub-prime mortgage crisis. When people have high hopes for huge future returns, they lower their guard about the potential risks. This pretty girl thought that the Rm5K bag was going to come home on Monday, and so she lowered her guard. Therefore, she believed that her investment in the ONS (one night stand) was worth it even though it was based upon huge and highly uncertain risks.

Investment companies are great with packaging high return (but high risk) deals. The Chinese stock speculators are like this pretty woman. As such, they deserve to lose money. Without people like these, how are people going to make money from the stock market? As for the media and the stock analysts, they often play the role of the salesperson.

And now who are the people who do the farking? Well if u do make some money out of the share market then u r the one doing the farking! He! He! But if u didn't get out the market with the earning u will be farked by now. The funny thing about share market is that every buyer expect whatever share that he /she buy will appreciated in prices so can sell at a profit, whereas every seller will hope that whatever share he /she sell will depreciated in price so that he/she can buy back the share! So u tell me who fark & who get farked???!!!

Oh by the way, for the guy please don't use the example above to get a free fark & for the ladies don't spray open your sexy leg just to get a LV handbag ( Ok! Ok! I know ladies no so cheap, that LV bad is just for example only. On the other hand I am available for farking! Aiyah economy very bad earn some 'pokeing' money is alway good! )!!! Remember no free lunch!

Bigger Is Better!!!

2008-11-23T18:25:00.000+08:00

Ask any ladies which want she want? For sure she want bigger wan! A big guy & a small guy……..for sure a lady will choose the big guy (Usual reason is they feel very ‘protected’ with big guy!) Hemmmm!!! Maybe they assume that a big guy got a big ‘didi’ (cock) also, which in most case is true but not all cases (Well I do know that some sumo have short & tiny ‘didi’ as compare to their body size)! Beside body part a lady will always want anything else big! For example guy with big car, house, salary & big wallet!

As for the guy, not much better! A guy too want anything else big well almost everything like for example almost every guy want to have a gf with big ‘nen nen’ (breast) but not a big gf like for example ‘ang moh’ (European)size gf………….simple reason, all guy assume that a big lady must have a big poosie! Now this is the big different between the ladies & the guys! No guy will want to have a big poosie!

Well I am a normal guy so of cause I also want ‘bigger’ things! No! No! No big gf for me as I too assume big lady must have a big poosie! So how about 14.5kg heavier, 15mm wider, 36mm higher, 106mm deeper & 210 watt more powerful! So in other word bigger in all sense! He! He! I am not talking about my gf!

This is what I am talking about! The Onkyo Tx-Sr875! Yes it is a big ass av receiver when compare to my other av receiver the Pioneer Vsx-917s (my review lah so very safe to click on the link as in all the rest in this site! Very safe wan! No ads!). I have to change my Pioneer Vsx-917s to Onkyo Tx-Sr875 is all because of my Panasonic Blue Ray player! The Pioneer Vsx-917s got everything a av must have except if u r watching blu ray, this is because it cannot decode Dolby TrueHD, Dolby Digital Plus, DTS HD Master Audio & DTS HD High Resolution. All this new audio code is only available in a blu ray disc.

The above two picture is a comparison between the Pioneer Vsx-917s & Onkyo Tx-Sr875 & u can see how heavy the Onkyo is in the second picture! So how is the performance of the Onkyo? Very good as compared to the Pioneer I must say I am happy with it. It got so much more function & setting and so is it sound production. I must say it is compatible with my Panasonic Plasma Tv Full HD TH-50PY700H & my Panasonic Blue Ray player DMP-BD30 using Panasonic Viera Link, no ‘handshake’ issue (some other av receiver have such issue which result in no picture when HDMI connection is used).

Connection is done by using HDMI cable, Panny blu ray HDMI out to Onkyo HDMI in (it got 4 HDMI in so I got plenty of future HDMI connection to made) & then Onkyo HDMI out (only one HDMI out, the newer Onkyo Tx-Sr876 got two) to the Panny Plasma Tv, all very neat & tidy at the behind, only one in & one out for the cabling.

Beside this, Onkyo Tx-Sr875 has the abilities to up-conversion all video to 1080p signal. This meant u can even use a normal DVD player which output video signal in 480p to 1080p using the on-board HQV Reon-VX chip (this chip is much better than most av using Faroudja chip). Since I am already using a Panasonic Blue Ray player which output video at 1080p via HDMI (1080p can only be out put via HDMI) this up-conversion is not being use. I did however test it out on Astro signal using s-cable connection (Astro signal suck big time when view on big screen due to its low resolution), 480 to 1080 & I do notice that picture quality is slightly better which is not a surprise as ‘garbage in garbage out’ also apply here,well maybe a slightly better ‘garbage’. Anyway I didn’t use this connection as I considered it a waste to switch on the Onkyo just to watch Astro.

So far only good stuff, any bad stuff about Onkyo Tx-Sr875? Well I do have a very big complain! This bugger runs very hot! As in hot enough to cook my nuts! Yes it is that hot! Since I don’t have an air con in the living room I am most worry that the Onkyo will cook itself!

I solve the hot issue of the Onkyo by doing a simple DIY! As show in the two picture above I just make use of two 5” cpu casing fan to cool the hot receiver. I make use of a phone charger which supply 3.6v of power, it is enough to power the two 5” fan connected in parallel so that it run silently (normally 12v is used but in this case the two fan will be running at full power & hence very noisy) yet it is enough to cool the Onkyo receiver……..from about 65c to just about 43c.

Well the above is just a very brief write on the Onkyo Tx-Sr875. Actually there is much more then that but then this entry will be very very boring & dry. More detail can be found on my other site (not very horny) here.

He! He! Sorry arrr to all my dear readers who expected to read about a ‘horny’ entry (He! He! Did I get your attention on the first two paragraphed) but instead end up reading a Onkyo Tx-Sr875. Anyway I hope u enjoy reading it & please do comment & don’t be shy!

The Banana Test

2008-11-12T10:45:00.000+08:00

Please take the following test to check how stresses are you....

There is a very, very tall coconut tree and there are 4 animals.

King Kong, an Ape, an Orang Utan and a Monkey pass by.

They decide to compete to see who is the fastest to get a banana off the tree.

Who do you guess will win?

Your answer will reflect your personality.

Think carefully . . . Try and answer within 30 seconds

Got your answer?

Now scroll down to see the analysis.

If your answer is:

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Orang utan = you're sick,

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Ape = you need a break,

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Monkey = worse, you suppose to be in the hospital right now..

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King Kong = I think you better take 1 year leave.........

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Why?! ????.......

A Coconut tree doesn't have bananas!

Obviously you're stressed and overworked.

Take some time off and relax! He! He! I assume all my dear readers are still working & still having a job. Well if u r now 'enjoying a very long leave' ( unemployed due to the fark up world economy ) well just enjoy & get ready & recharged yourself for yours working life.

Eat Full Nothing To Do!

2008-10-30T17:55:00.000+08:00

So can answer the following question?

Below are four (4) questions and a Bonus question to test your perception, reasoning and the quickness of your logical processing mind ( I assure all my readers are ‘normal’ people ).

They are stated simply so you should try to answer them instantly.
To assure the accuracy of the results, you should not take your time, but instead, answer each of them immediately.

OK?

Let's find out just how clever you really are....

Ready? GO!!! (scroll down slowly to uncover Q's and A's)

First Question:

You are a participant in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?

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Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely WRONG! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, YOU are in second place!

Try not to screw up next time. Now answer the second question, but don't take as much time as you took for the first question, OK?

Second Question:

If you overtake the last person, then you are...?

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Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are ; ; ; ;WRONG again. Tell me Sunshine, how can you overtake the LAST person??

You're not very good at this, are you?( Do u feel that u r not very clever now? )

Third Question:

Very tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator.

Try it.

Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30 . Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000. Now add 10 . What is the total?

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Did you get 5000?

The correct answer is actually 4100.

If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator!

Today is definitely not your day, is it?

Maybe you'll get the last question right... Maybe...

Fourth Question:

Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono, and ??? What is the name of the fifth daughter?

Did you Answer Nunu? NO! Of course it isn't.

Her name is Mary! He! He! Did I get u on this? Read the question again!

Okay, now the Bonus round,
i.e., a final chance to Redeem yourself:

A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.

Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants?

Show some action???

Not lah! It's really very simple. He opens his mouth and asks for it...

Does your employer actually pay you to think??

If so Do NOT let them see your answers for this test! It will be terrible to let them know they actually employed a ‘monkey’!!!

He! He! To all my dear readers now back to work! ( If u r still working!!! ) :(