healing hooves

What Being A Overcomer Means

2006-11-28T09:21:00.000-08:00

Believer who doesn’t quit no matter how hard the battle seems, they always stand firm when others have already ran. Always Getting Up Again, Rising Again, and seeing the vision of what God has in store for your life, Not what Man is trying to tear down. When all things seem impossible, and things have gone astray, not letting that stop them, because they heard the voice of God say "Remember I have already given you the "Land"." Knowing the being Victorious means having the "Right Attitude Of The Heart At All Times". That there is NOT EVER any reason for them to ever Run from anyone or any situation ever again, because they are as equally loved and respected by God as everysingle person, creature, and creation on this earth, and that helps them when they are being attacked not to attack back. It is growth, and validating that they are growing with God each and everyday....................That is the most awesome thing to Me to experience...........................sb

dare to dream of meeting your hearts longing

2006-11-25T17:34:00.000-08:00

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your hearts longing. It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive. It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals, or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain. I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it. I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own; if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, or to remember the limitations of being human. It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true, I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. I want to know if you can be faithful and therefore trustworthy. I want to know if you can see beauty, even when it is not pretty every day, and if you can source your life from its presence. I want to know if you can live with failure, yours or mine, and still stand on the edge of a lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, "Yes!" It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done for the children. It doesn't interest me who you are, or how you came to be here- I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back. It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself, and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments. May 1994

2006-11-22T09:17:00.000-08:00

Things I Am Thankful For For my two wonderful daughters. For a Heart that can stay strong even in the toughest of times, because my heart knows now that I am a loving child of God. That even though my car broke down, found out financial situation was worse than I ever realized, that still I kept my head up and Faith Strong, and God took care of all my needs. That even while I was in that state of uncertainty I still found ways to help others who are in need too. That I have wonderful friends, who I now call family who tell me they Love and care for me and my family all the time. For a job that understands the meaning of Family First. For waking up each day looking forward to what it is going to bring.

cool reflection on raising a child with a disibilty

2006-11-09T09:10:00.000-08:00

I read this and it is so true, it made me go back and reflect when Jesse my daughter with Spina Bifida was born, and how I felt this way in the beginning, and how we have learned, and growed in our journey as a family now. I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this...... When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting. After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland." "Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy." But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay. The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place. So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met. It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts. But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned." And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss. But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

Taking a break

2006-11-05T17:10:00.000-08:00

I wanted to find the perfect pretty picture to post today, because it will be here for awhile. So I found this picture of a cute dog made of flowers. I am going to take some time to visit with God on the direction He wants for my life. I have been in recovery for three years, and my heart feels so full of life again. This time it is filled with life with the love of God too. So I want to honor this new heart that God has worked hard with me to restore. In the beginning of my recovery I took weeks of just being quite and listening because I did not know God, and I just did not know what else to do. So I want to go back to that now, and figure out what it is I am going to do with all this love, hope, faith, and Grace that has been given to me. I will write from time to time, and want anyone that reads this to know I Sonja Brooks am looking forward to tomorrow, and the weeks to come, what lies ahead actually excites me, and to be able to say in the future God I do this for You is something that I just can't wait to happen...............YSIC Sonja

The Beauty Of The Earth

2006-11-03T06:45:00.000-08:00

Spring passes and one remembers one's innocenceSummer passes and one remembers one's exuberanceAutumn passes and one remembers one's reverenceWinter passes and one remembers one's perseverance.- Yoko Ono, Season of Glass There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven -A time to give birth, and a time to die;A time to plant and a time to uproot what is planted.- Ecclesiastes, 3:1-2 Those who contemplate the beauty of the earth find reserves of strength that will endure as long as life lasts. There is something infinitely healing in the repeated refrains of nature— the assurancethat dawn comes after night, and spring after winter.- Rachel Carson For eternally and always there is only one now,one and the same now; the present is the onlything that has no end. - Erwin Schrodinger Winter is an etching, spring a watercolor, summer an oil paintingand autumn a mosaic of them all. - Stanley Horowitz

What kind of REST are you getting

2006-10-29T17:11:00.000-08:00

What kind of REST are you getting Running, Exhaustion, Stress Temptation. The Rest we get when we live according to what the Human Race requires of us. We work all week, dealing with what the world throws at us in our work, in our homes, and just in our personal lives. Then we it comes to our weekends we spend the 6th day catching up on all the things we missed doing because of our weekly schedule. By the 7th day which is suppose to be our day of rest, we do take a few minutes to just relax but we are still finishing up the chores so we will not have to deal with it next week, and after that we have to start getting ready to prepare for starting that work week coming. Seems living in that world we do not have much time for rest. All the word rest means to us is Running, Exhaustion, Stress, which leads to the Temptation in Life that lead us even further away from the rest that God wants for us. A restless heart leads to a reckless life . We need to learn to submit our schedule to God's wisdoms, it is necessary for us to operate at an optimal level. Restoration, Energy, Spiritual fitness, Tribute to God Gods REST for us consist of restoration on that day we choose to submit to his schedule for us. We do that by being still and listening to what he has to say. Psalms 23 verse 2 & 3 states: 2 He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, 3 He restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his names sake. I ask what are your still waters you seek to restore your soul, where are you green pastures to lie down in to seek Gods wisdoms. It is a must that we find at least one full day to be quiet in a calm peaceful place to get spiritual restorationon. By doing that we receive great new levels of Energy, the kind of energy we need to go out and face the challengeses that the world throws at us daily. This makes us spiritually fit, and in the end being all that you can be for YOUR LORD is the ultimate Tribute to God. So I say Rest in the Human Race losses Life, but Rest in God's Place gains Life.

Don't Be Afraid Of Suffering

2006-10-22T16:06:00.000-07:00

This Sunday I started my new church experience with United Methodist. I am so glad I have learned to listen when God prompts me in new directions now. I have felt God filling new parts of my inner soul these last few months, and at the same time I felt myself acting like that pervarable stubborn mule with his seat planted to the ground as he trusty lead person was trying to bring my him safely. That has been me off and on these last three years, more on than off I would have to say. I am stepping up more and letting my own trusty lead(GOD) have the reins. I have to say I was truly touched as the Pastor spoke of not being afraid to struggle. He told many stories about life and struggling and ended all with God will take care of You. There is a verse he read that I loved, and it goes. Do not fear what you are about to suffer... we boast in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not dissapoint us....revelation 2:10, and romans 5:3 In the past my struggles made me weak, sick, and came close to producing death for my own soul. That was when I did not understand, because I did not know God. While stuggling still scares me, I know my struggles will not last forever, God will take care of me, His love is everlasting, his promises does bring me hope thru the hard times now. I think I am going to like this new church of mine. My young daughter likes it too. These feelings stirring inside of me I know are the things that God is preparing in me to help me pay forward what he has given me in my last three years of recovery. I am glad I found a church that makes me want to go into the depts of those things stirring in me and explore what it is God is doing there. I am looking forward to the future for me and for my family. God's Love is an amanzing thing. Sonja

and the journey begins

2006-10-19T06:30:00.000-07:00

Wednesday Oct. 18, 2006 a day to remember. For about 6 months now I have been searcing for the answer to help my daughter find her way to start her own little journery to God. I have been on mine for three years now, and came to the realization it is time for me to step up to the plate and help do for my kids that my wonderful christian family has done for me. My 12 year old is wheel chair bound with spina bifida. She is very quite, timid, and shy when amoung new people and enviorments. At the beginning of my recovery she did go to church with me, and everyone was nice to her. Still Jesse told me Mom, I just do not feel that I belong here. The people are nice, they come to me and greet me, then they just sit me in the corner and expect me to be the nice girl that just gets to spectate and never be involved. Now I know alot of that is because she is so shy, but also in my opinion if you are going to have teaching for all children then you should forcast ahead of time for those with special needs, if you are going to invite them into your fellowship. So me being the mom that caters to all Jesse's emotions, and sometimes that is a negitive thing even though I think I am keeping her safe. I stop going to church so she would not have to, and on the occassion I did go I let her stay at home with big sister. That is another story in itself. I found a church called United Methodist, and they even have on their web site, special needs ministry. So I did some calling lost of e-mailing, and made arrangements for Jesse to go to their Wednesday night fellowship class, before us starting to church that following Sunday. Last night was her first Wednesday night, and when I got home big sister was coming her hair while Jesse was sitting in the wheel chair crying and saying please do not make me go. I did make arrangments for her best friend to go, and while she still did not want to go, doing that did get her out the door. We got to church, and I left her and her friend, with big sulky frowns and sad faces with the group of kids and leader. It was so hard walkng away from that, and just leaving her there being so sad. Two hours later I go and pick her up, and she is with three other girls just laughing and having a good ole time. I was so happy to see her having that kind of fun fellowshiping with kids her age. She talked and talked about all the kids and what they did, and even ask about Sunday. I said do you and Narussia want to go back next week, and they said Yes. So here we are starting a new adventure with God with the children. I am excited for Jesse and Narussia. I will keep you posted in their progress in days to come. God is amazing. Sonja

Long Black Train By Josh Turner

2006-10-17T07:32:00.000-07:00

There's a long black train Coming down the line. Feeding off the souls that are lost and crying Tails of sin only evil remains. Watch out brother for that long Black Train. Look to the heavens, You can look to the skies. You can find redemption, Staring back into your eyes. There is protection and there is, Peace the same burn in your ticket for that Long Black Train. Cause theres victory in the Lord I say, Victory in the lord. Cling to the father and his holy name, and dont go riding on that long Black Train. Theres a engine there on that Long Black Train. Making you wonder if your ride is worth the pain. He's just a waitin on your heart to say let me ride on that long black train. But you know theres victory in the Lord I say, Victory in the lord. Cling to the father and his holy name, and dont go riding on that long Black Train. Well I can hear the whistle from a mile away. It sounds so good, but I must stay away that train is a beauty making everybody stare, but its only destination is the middle of nowhere. But u know theres victory in the lord I say, Victory in the Lord. Cling to the father and his holy name, and dont go riding on that long Black Train I said cling to the father and his holy name and dont go ridin on that black train. Yes watch out brother for that long black train The devils a ridin that long black train.

MeMe Five Things

2006-10-16T08:23:00.000-07:00

Five things I would do if I had 5 minutes to myself..... 1. Take a fishing pole and a lunch and go to a stock tank to do some good ole fishing 2. Go to the horse lot and just sit and watch the chickens, goats, and horses play and eat(I do that daily all by myself it is great) 3. Go and get my nails done, hadn't done that in years 4. Get some candles, bath oil, and have a long hot bath, and this one I would give 30 minutes instead of 5 5. Go to my computer and write, finish my book healing-hooves. Everytime I get close to finishing, I seem to have more to say. Five Items I'd love to get rid of..... 1. The fear from my girls hearts about lifes stuggles, we are working with God on this one daily 2. Getting all this weight off of me so I can go out and enjoy life with the girls more 3. The doubts that my friends have that keep them from going to their next step of recovery 4. Dysexia, and all spinal cord birth deffects 5. World hunger, especially for the children Five Items I would'nt part with... 1. My Childrens love 2. My passion for writing and telling my story 3. My extended family 4. Friends who deeply love and accept me. 5. God Five words or phrases I would love to hear....... 1. For my mom to say I am sorry 2. For my oldest daughter to say I am ready to leave this darkness and come to the light with you and Jesse 3. From my work, great job and now it is your turn to go to the next level of success 4. From my friend Sam, I am having the surgery 5. From Me, I am woman hear me roar, This is a good meme, it makes you think, I tag anyone who needs something to do today.

making liberty in christ a reality in me

2006-10-12T07:24:00.000-07:00

Understanding the meaning of mind, soul and spirit being complete with God. Equations that will equal liberty: This was my study last night in Breaking Free. It is fascinating to me that you can hear words spoken over and over, matter of fact for me it has been three years now. I have done all the steps to my recovery, listen to the sermons on Sunday, hear God speak thru my beloved friends, and still I always seem to be off in the balance of completion with my mind, soul, and spirit. Then God came to me in the most profound way last night. I for the first time understood why, why my life began as it did, why it went in the direction my parent choose for me, and why it is changing in the awesome direction God is leading me in. I also for the very first time had to mourn in great sadness for my own parents, and while that part did make me very sad, it also took away a tremendous sense of why I was always so unbalanced within my own self. I hope this will make sense to you. It is such a huge thing for me. My lesson last night: When I was created it was by God's truth, and I was a pure newborn babe, ready to be molded for all his glory. Then came along my parent’s truth. While they came to this world just as I did, they however changed the direction of what they wanted their truth to be all about. This is where the equation comes in. My parent’s truth soon became controlled by their experiences in life, and the environments that they choose to be surrounded by. They choose their own perception of truth by that equation, and their own selected memories soon distorted the truth more and more. They also choose for their surrondings not to include the teaching of God's, and choose to live by societys example of what goodness means. One big thing too. Since their truth had none of God truth to balance their inner souls, their lives became incomplete always. Satan lies began to hold them captive, and they choose those lies to build my own foundation, which took me away from God's truth that God wanted me to be molded by. This made me be held by Satan’s lies also for many many years. I forgot the goodness that God created in my heart, soul, and spirit on the very day of my own birth. Here is the good thing though. The next equation. God’s truth is greater than my own truth. So I begin to learn some of God’s truth and that made me feel better. I started to be a good person again. I learned that all the things my parents told me that God hated me for, all those things I could be forgiven for, and God never hated me, he just needed me to understand the total equation for Liberty. It was last night that I not only realized that I am a better person now since my recovery, but that also that goodness that God created in me at my birth, has always been in my soul, my heart, my spirit, it was always there. I just forgot God’s truth, when I let my parents truth became mine. What freedom I felt when I finally got that last night in all of me. My truth plus the truth of God that I now know embrace love and live does equals freedom for me. I then at that very moment became very sad for my parents for the first real time. My dad died two years ago and when he died he had his truth, but none of God’s truth in him so he died incomplete. That made me cry for him in a true sense of loss for his own spirit and soul. My mom well she is still alive but also chooses to live with her truth only. She does go to church I hear, and I do pray for her, and will now even harder because I want for her what God has given back to me. Freedom. I woke up this morning still the same Sonja as I was yesterday, on the road to recovery, being excited for the next adventure that comes my way on this journey with God. And oh yea one more thing. I feel a new balance in my life, one that I know is going to take me to new levels with my Friend God. I am grateful for my friend Jan who ask me to do this study with her, that gave me a new breakthrough for my life. I know this study of God’s words was the necessary thing to help me in making my liberty in Christ become a reality for Me.

For Paulette

2006-10-11T10:57:00.000-07:00

This post today is for my friend Paulette, I Love You My Sister “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, you Savior’” Isa, 43:2-3 To me my good friend Paulette and I know to you too this is saying His presence is the basis for courage in our storms. I know the winds are raging with you now, and the waves in the storm are higher than ever, but God he is over both the wind and the waves. Sometimes it is in the most extreme of storms that his PRINTS are seen the most. He is in this with you I know you know that, and he loves you because you are created in his image and all his glory. We Humans will probably never learn to enjoy our storms, but isn’t it an awesome thing that we can learn to enjoy God’s presence in the storms of our lives………..Praise God…………and thank you for being my friend Paulette………Sonja

Being Satisfied Completely

2006-10-06T10:14:00.000-07:00

I was asked this question in my bible study class today, and have to say it really hit me hard. This is my first bible study since coming to God, and I am still new to learning all the words of God’s readings from the bible, and having to read the scripture that went along with this question brought back some hard memories for me. Question: Is your soul your spirit your own inmost place the real you entirely satisfied with Christ. Verses Isaiah 55 1-2 Come all you who are thirsty come to the waters and you who have no money come buy and eat Come buy wine and milk without money and without cost Why spend money on what is not bread and your labor on what does not satisfy. The definition for Satisfied as stated in my book….to fill, accomplish, the filling of something that was empty, the act of replenishment as well as the experience of satiation. I guess I could have done the easy thing and said Oh Yes I am so blessed and my spirit is full and satisfied, but there is this one thing that keeps getting in my way. This is the one thing I do know is for certain....Not only is God’s truth and absolute necessity in my progress for recovery, but my complete truthfulness is also a necessity for my recovery. So I have to say No to this question, I am still confused and scared about do I just say God here it is take it……….or does God expect me to use this Free Will gift he gave me and figure out how to deal in an earthy way and still stay Godly with HIM. This is so confusing to me. In the book is says………why do we work so hard for things that are never enough, can never fill us up, and are endlessly insufficient. When I read things like that, I look at my life as an example………….I work hard, but I do not get to know about the things that are insufficient, or never enough, because I still struggle with just the basics. Basic survival for just living, and being the soul provider for me and my girls. I hear from people all the time……….well Sonja that is just life, 80 percent of people are just like you it will always be that way for some. So for me to be satisfied in my heart, mind, and soul do I have to know what Gods limitations for Sonja is. If God created me in his image, and my mind is now healthy and strong, then why should I have to have limits put on my life and me being able to just do the basics. I know in order for me to have complete freedom means allowing Christ to fill the empty places in my life. All empty places. I know I have salvation from sin, but I do not feel in my heart I have satisfaction of my soul completely. I go and read the part where God says you who have no money come buy wine and milk without money and without cost. I can apply that to my spiritual soul, but it is the reality of what I have to live in while here on earth that I am having a hard time with. I do know that now that I am gaining peace as each day goes by that the hard stuff does seem to be more doable at times, but then it is the big stuff that if you do not take immediate action on will effect the actual welfare of you family that still scares the heck out of me at times. I do accept the help of others now and do not feel shameful for having to get it, but I still would love to live in a world where my kids could say MY MOM can do this on her own, you know just the basics………I know we can never do all things in life on our own, that is the spiritual side I am complete on, it is the completion of all parts of my soul that I am having to work hard at and still get confused on in the present time of my life……..in my weak days I use to just all settle for the circumstances that controlled my life be it bad or good, mostly though it was always bad. Now days as I am learning to Love my own self again I just do not want to settle. Still I am learning that there is a great time line that God wants us to go through before all the past damage from our darkness is gone even when we are healed spiritually. I am glad for my new tools God has given me, so that I can live in my current circumstances that are still controlled somewhat from the damage of my past. My Faith is knowing that someday it will be greater; this is just a true test for me from God. Maybe the most important test of all.

Things I Am Thankful For

2006-10-05T08:16:00.000-07:00

1. Going thru the Fire and Rain, and having God release the shackles from my feet so that now I can dance and Praise him. 2. Actually feeling that each new day does bring the miracle of his forgiveness. 3. Having the real Love of my family now, and great Trusted Friends. 4. For all the days I now have shining rays of light in my heart. 5. To know that my life is a testimony of Gods love, and no longer a circumstance of past generations dark behaviors. 6. Knowing that God did not forget me all those years I forgot him, and he keep up with all the details of my life to Heal Me and Give Me my Purpose. 7. Knowing that I was created for the purpose of giving Gods invisible character a glimpse of visibility thru my obedience and love for him. I fulfill what I am meant to be when God is recognizable in my lifestyle.

Knowing your purpose from faiths lifts

2006-10-03T09:15:00.000-07:00

Discussion: Do you struggle with knowing your purpose? Like me, do you sometimes wish that you could do something HUGE for God; to maybe earn this precious gift of salvation you have been given? Or maybe striving to prove you are worthy of His grace? I use to wish I could do somethingng huge for God to show him how humbled I am for the recovery he has given me. So I would try to find a designated purpose for me that I thought he wanted me full fill for him, and work for that one goal. Now days as I grow I lead my days more by principles because when I do that I feel I am living my purpose for him in all my ways, small as they may seem to most, still it is more unified for God, My list for each day is to Know God and always believe in Him, To Glorify Him in my daily actions, to find satisfaction in Him, To experience Gods peace daily, and to enjoy the presence of God in my life. One of my favorite verses that I try to lead by example with is Isaiah 43:10 You are my witnesses,declares the Lord, and my servant whom I have chosen, so that you may know and believe me and understand that I am He

purpose

2006-10-01T18:18:00.000-07:00

My principles for living in my purpose that God has intended for me. Daily study and pray time asking God to guide me and help me apply his teachings and Will in my life. "In the same way, faith by itself, if not accompanied by action is dead." (James 2:17) Always make sure my lifestyle reflects what I believe by making sure myt talk matches my walk. "Let us not love with words or tongue, but with actions and in truth."(1John3:15) Yield myself to God to be used to bring his good news to others, both by my example and by my words. "Live and act in a way worthy of those who have been chosen for such wonderful blessings as these."(Ephesians4:1) These verses for me is what I try to live by to fulfill my purpose for God. Isaiah 61:1-4 1 The spirit of the sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good new to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and realease from darkness the prisoners, 2 to prolaim tge year of the Lord's favor and the day vengeance of our Lord, to comfort all whom mourn, 3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion-to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and the garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair, they wil be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor. 4 They will rebuild the ancient ruins and restore the places long devastatedl; they will renew the ruined cities that have been devasted for generations. These verses here are what I try to incorporate in my daily life for my purpose. Isaiah 61:1-4 1 The spirit of the sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good new to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and realease from darkness the prisoners, 2 to prolaim the year of the Lord's favor and the day vengeance of our Lord, to comfort all whom mourn, 3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion-to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and the garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair, they wil be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor. 4 They will rebuild the ancient ruins and restore the places long devastatedl; they will renew the ruined cities that have been devasted for generations.

things to ask yourself

2006-09-29T19:45:00.000-07:00

Today I received bad news. I can not say publically what this news is because it is an ongoing thing. Still every part of everything I have done for the last three years became frightened. My immeadiate fear was, the chains of darkness that I broke and replaced with new links given to me straight from God well I felt they may break, and if they break then I become broken again. Satan he is one fearce component, when He sees You at your best with God, then He attacks You the hardest. Darkness toke my earthly family away from me, along with every tool for life I had in me. God brought me a new family, each member of that family brought new tools so I could rebuild a great foundation and come back to God. Well now Satan he is attacking all of everything God has given to me. I am afraid, but I remember Fear can be dealt with if you do it in a Faithful Way with God's help. Lamentations 3:40 tells us; "examine our ways and test them, and.....return to the Lord. I have found to keep moving forward daily i must keep my daily inventories balanced. I must look at the things I did right as well as the things I did wrong. Then admit promplty and make amends when needed. A good way to keep myself balanced and going in the right direction is to ask myself these questions daily. 1 What goo did I do today? 2 In what areas did I blow it today? 3 Did I do or say anything that hurt someone today? 4 What did I learn from my actions today? 5 How many people did I make smile today? I am going to follow God, where ever He may take me I promise with everything I am I will follow. For the days to come I must give God daily time, to fuel my heart for the battle of Satan and all his lies and the things he want to steal from me. I will put WHATEVER boundaries needed with WHOMEVER needed. God give Me and My family strength to live in your ways each day, wisdom to know how to make the necessary changes needed to keep walking in those ways to make it to the next day, and the courage to know when we can not change what it is making us confused and weary, and how to apply that to going forward also with you. Sonja

psalm 98

2006-09-29T08:07:00.000-07:00

Today's posting is a tribute to my good friend Chuck C. Chuck is our leader ar CR and he has been with me on my journery of recovery since day 1. He himself is celebrating his 18th year of recovery, and he is a true example of what living in the light of God's Grace and Love is all about. The power of sincere prayer combined with positive faith can result in enormous success even when all other efforts have failed. For where we are fully and whole-heartedly united with the will of God we find our lives suddenly brimming with bounitful blessings and our hearts, peace filled, overflowing with love. This is the way Chuck lives his life daily, and I am honored and humbled to be blessed by God to have him as a part of my christian family. This one is for you Chuck PSALM 98 1. 0 sing unto the Lord a new song; for he hath done marvelous things: his right hand, and his holy arm, hath gotten him the victory. 2. The Lord hath made known his salvation: his righteousness hath he openly showed in the sight of the heathen. 3. He hath remembered his mercy and his truth toward the house of Israel: all the ends of the earth have seen the salvation of our God. 4. Make a joyful noise unto the Lord, all the earth: make a loud noise, and rejoice, and sing praise. 5. Sing unto the Lord with the harp; with the harp, and the voice of a psalm. 6. With trumpets and sound of cornet make a joyful noise before the Lord, the King. 7. Let the sea roar, and the fulness thereof; the world, and they that dwell therein. 8. Let the floods clap their hands: let the hills be joyful together 9. before the Lord; for he cometh to judge the earth: with righteousness shall he judge the world, and the people with equity.

sonja's quote for the week

2006-09-27T16:52:00.000-07:00

"You Cannot Conquer What You Will Not Confront"--- :"There is no growth without change and there is no change without loss and there is no loss without pain

Beating the Addiction of Eating for Self Comfort

2006-09-27T07:17:00.000-07:00

Addiction To Me……..something that is not good for me at all, but that keeps me needing and wanting it anyway………the question is Why does it keep me needing it. That answer to me now is………..I for so many years lived in accordance to what my sinful nature taught to me which was also built into the foundation of who I was. Because of that my mind was set to my sinful nature desired. That was Food, self medicate, Food, the cure all fix for all that attacks me. Starting out at 150 pounds it was no big deal, Food was fine, and it was not drugs, booze, sex, or anything bad, just food. Then one day I looked up and there I was. 425 pounds worth of comfort all over my body. My friend Food that I thought was keeping me safe form being a druggy, or a sex crazy person, has damaged my heart, and every working organ in me, and ruined my body completely. I just forgot How to Love Myself when I got lost in all that darkness. Today 20 years later I have learned the lessons and now live according to God’s spirit and have my mind set on what God’s desires are. So I am no longer controlled by the nature’s spirit, because the spirit of God lives in Me. I am in my 7th mth after gastric bypass surgery. I now look in the mirror everyday. Three weeks ago went I went to the doctor I was 82 pounds down, and I am thinking I may be 100 now, go to the doctor next week to check. It is nice to be able to breathe again like a normal person, to walk more than 25 steps without having to sit down, to sleep lying down instead of sitting up so that I can breathe, to be able to put my own socks on………..man there is so much to be thankful for. So now I have a new burst of energy. I am going to get my 6 mini meals a day back on my working diet plan. Boy I wish someone would have told me about that before surgery. Not to say I still wouldn’t have had it, because the doctors told me It was my only choice due to the extensive damage I did to myself while self medicating with the Food. Still it just makes so much sense to me. One meal, one snack, one meal, one snack, etc. It is not that hard, and dog gone it I am worth taking the time to do it right. So here I go, I am PUTTING MY STAKE IN THE SAND for this health stuff. February is right around the corner, it will be one year after surgery, and I want to be 140 down. I rode horses for the first 20 years of my life, I love the western way of Life, I have lost that for so many years, and I want it back. My girls want it back for me so they can share it with me. So me and my Friend God, are going to step it up a bit and get Sonja back on them horses and making some good memories with those two wonderful girls of mine…………..YSIC Sonja

Faith and Fear

2006-09-25T09:48:00.000-07:00

discussion question from faith lifts: In what areas of your life is your faith weak and your heart weary? How does this scripture apply to those areas and how can you put this promise into action in your life? One of the things that use to really confuse my about my recovery is when people thinking they were helping me would come to me and say. Sonja you can not be afraid, Fear and Faith have no place with each other. You cannot Love and Trust God and have Fear still in your heart. Let me tell you, for someone who is just stepping in recovery, that knows now that they absolutely Love the Lord, but still struggles because not all the darkness has left them. Well hearing things like that from people can really confuse an already tender and shaky heart and mind. Just think about it a heart in recovery, well it has just been broken completely. Ripped in every direction it really needs to be in order to repair properly. So it is like a new born babies heart, tender and soft, and vuneralbe for remolding and building a new foundation. That right there is a scary thing for anyone. So fear in my opinion is just a factor in all the new emotions that will be coming to that new heart as it travels down the road to recovery. I am not saying a good emotion given to us by God, more of an human emotion given to us by those in this world oppressed from God. As I am learning thru reading the bible for the first time. I just got to say really quick on that subject, Wow, I did not know there were so many amazing stories. I am reading back and forth from 2 Chronicles, and Isaiah. There were Kings who gave it all to God, still had there scary moments. Kings who lead in horror worshiping idols, killing sons, doing witchcraft, you know they had almost 24/7 in scary moments. So this is what I am seeing now for the first time it is becoming clear to me. Faith may be choosing like me to believe God even when your heart and soul is being overwhelmed with Fear. So perhaps Faith is tested by; What We do with Fear, and not whether or not we have it. Titles of People and even there own heritage means nothing if the King of their Hearts desire is not God. That is why I felt like nothing for so many years. Because my own parents were oppressed from God, made us think of them for our King, and to worship and obey only them , instead of what our own young hearts desires were wanting, God himself. Don't get me wrong we need our parents, we need to be loved by them, but it is their responsibility to mold us in God's image not theirs. Satan can not force us to go where he leads, we have to freely choose to go their. When we do that as parents we not only show God how we live in the face of fear, but we also show our children the paths to Satan not to God. So while I do get less fearful each day, when fear does come to me now I will not let Fear say I am a defeated Child of God, I will just say God I am going to show You how I now will deal with this Fear creature, it is by your wisdoms, and you spirit in me that I will deal with Fear now, and only that way.

faith lifts message to me

2006-09-23T20:19:00.000-07:00

THIS PICTURE IS CALLED HEAVEN'S GATE, THIS ONE IS FOR YOU MY FRIEND SAM i received this e-mail from heather at faith lifts today. I am exteremly honored to have my writing on faith lifts. here is her e-mail you can go to my links and hit faith lifts and get to the site thanks sonja Sonja,I hope you get this tonight:) We are going to use this as a guest entry for Sunday (tomorrow). It will be up at midnight tonight and will remain up until midnight tomorrow .... so if you want to direct your readers to faithlifts to read it, that would be great! Thank you for submitting it! Sorry it is so abrupt, we had an emergency opening and I thought yours would fit perfectly!Heather

2006-09-23T16:18:00.000-07:00

I have an amazing story to tell today, actually a true miracle sent from God himself. My friend and sister from CR has been living and fighting self-hatred for many years, and Satan well he had a grip on her she just could not let go of. Don't get me wrong, she tries, and tries, then gives up and comes back and tries again. This has been her battle for many many months. Friday night Sept. 22nd, God presented himself to her in a might big way, a miracle, and he blessed many to see and be a part of it. It was amazing for her, and life changing. She wrote a story that is quite a story to read. I encourage anyone reading this to go and read her blog, bookmark her blog, because I am here to tell you as her sister, her friend, her recovery buddy she and God are fixen to start one amazing journey of recovery, and I am humble to be able to share that journey with her. I love you my sister. Remember what I say. It is not by Your Power, Your Might, but only by the Spirit of the Lord that you will have victory. He planted the seed Friday night deep within your soul, he showed Satan that it is YOUR time my sister, YOUR time. Live may not have been so beautiful for you, but I am telling you Life is fixen to become one beautiful ride.................Go With God My Friend Sonja http://justalittlelessmelord.blogspot.com/

Where The Spirit Of The Lord Is THERE IS FREEDOM

2006-09-21T18:46:00.000-07:00

When oppressed, We the children of God have a tendency to prepare shelters for ourselves rather than do what Freedom and Liberty demands. Those shelters can easily turn into strong holds, which turns into a destructive nature that Satan feeds upon, and we often have little defense to protect ourselves from that. It is not by Power, nor by Might, but only by the Spirit of the Lord that We can be Victorious. When I read that it brought something to the surface inside of me that I have never given thought to before. These last three years while in recovery my heart still always had a feeling inside of it that I was not letting God have completely. I never could quite understand why this pulled so deep at my heart. I have become so strong in so many ways these last three years. Still as a mother I have always felt like there was something missing for my girls, something from me that I am still failing at with them. When I look at them I know they feel physically safe, but still there was something missing in our home. I have been thinking that it is the fact that to this day I still can not provide financially all the things I believe they should have. They still have to do without so many of the simple things in life. As I was listening to Beth Moore talk tonight about Finding Freedom, I thought about how my parents who ruined the foundations of their own children "should have held our hearts with tenderness and filled them with God Grace and Love". While they did give us shelter, and we always had everything financially that we wanted, I can remember still always feeling insecure and scared when it came to the matter of my own heart. I never heard the word Love in our house, I never saw my dad embrace my mom, or for that matter my parents embrace any of us kids. Though they did make sure that as long as we played by their rules we had plenty to play with. I know now that my very own parents allowed themselves to be oppressed from God, and while they did give us all the things they thought we needed to be safe, they were also putting up shelters against our hearts because they left out the spiritual part of molding those young tender hearts, those shelters they built became my strong holds on my own heart, and that always made me feel unsafe and sacred when I had to face anything concerning my own life building process. That made me realize what it is that I am missing in my own house with my girls. I have worked hard for me these last three years, and I do have a safe place where I am rebuilding the parts of my heart that need to be rebuilt with God. That is what I also need to be doing with my girls. While I do want to gain success and grow financially for them, more importantly I now see, I must help them to learn how to come to God to grow the spirit on Him in their young hearts. With that they can face anything and be victorious.