surfercam

Yes, I am still alive....

2009-05-03T09:16:00.002+10:00

Just been very busy with :

Child No. 2 - who won't sleep during the day, which isn't good because now I :
Work from Home - which is just the best thing ever! Until a few weeks ago when :
My Boss Passed Away - and now I am running the whole show and have never been busier. And all that while :
I have started a clothing label - more details to come one the website is up and running...

Long time, No Post....

2009-02-27T09:01:00.000+10:00

Been bloody busy!
Good news coming up soon...... Stay Tuned!

2009-02-08T13:00:00.001+10:00

ARSONISTS
ARE
MURDERERS

Apologies!

2009-02-08T12:58:00.000+10:00

Can't believe it's been almost a month since I last posted.

But I have been extremely busy as a new Dad with a baby that doesn't like to sleep all that much...

On top of that, my work is not going great, however we have shut the office and I now work from home which is bloody fantastic!

Will begin posting more soon.

"Let's go for a drink"

2009-01-15T13:34:00.001+10:00

BEENLEIGH APPEAL

2009-01-14T11:37:00.000+10:00

Hurricane Shazza hit Beenleigh in the early hours of 17th November 2008.
Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly, muttering 'Faaackinell'.

The hurricane devastated the area causing approximately $30 worth of
damage. Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed. Many
locals were woken well before their Centrelink cheques arrived.
The Beenleigh Times reported that hundreds of residents were confused and
bewildered and were still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Beenleigh.

One resident - Tracy Maree Sharon Britney Madonna Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 3 said 'It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes came running into my bedroom crying. My youngest two Billy-Bob and Billy-Joe slept through it all.'
Apparently, looting, muggings and car crime were unaffected and carried
on as normal. The Australian Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000
crates of Bacardi-Breezers to the area to help the stricken locals.
Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found
large quantities of personal belongings, including Health Care Cards,
Jewellery from Kmart, and Bone China from Big W.

HOW CAN YOU HELP?

This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those
unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing is most
sought after - items most needed include: flannelette shirts, tight blue
jeans or spandex, singlet's (blue & white) white sport socks, Ugg boots
and any other items usually sold in Priceline or The Reject Shop.
Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same.
Required foodstuffs urgently needed include: Microwave meals, Baked
beans, Ice cream, Chips, Fizzy drinks.
Donations of $15.00 will be taken to buy a packet of winny blue 25s and
a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.

Happy New Year!

2009-01-07T13:42:00.001+10:00

Welcome back to a new year.

For all of those playing at home, SurferCam had a baby girl on New Year's Eve.

All is well - baby is great, Pink Mafia is well and Daddy is exhausted....

2008 – A Year in Review

2008-12-22T11:13:00.001+10:00

As the festive season is about to begin, and work ends, I rarely shower or shave, drink way to much and eat like a pig, I thought it time to have a look back on yet another year.

Worst Days :
1. Finding out our baby might have some problems.
2. A very close family friend passing away.
3. Getting violently ill in Shanghai.

Best Days :
1. Finding out our baby was going to be ok.
2. Holidaying in Italy.
3. Holidaying in Hong Kong.

Best thing in BlogLand – the arrival of BoBo
Worst thing in BlogLand – the retirement of Steph and idiotic people hassling other bloggers.

Other Notes :
Work – Hasn’t gone according to plan. Very disappointing.
Friends – they are disappearing - keep moving overseas or interstate.
Fitness – what’s that?
Surfing – have been about 10 times this year. Not good.

Oh well, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!

See you in 2009!

SurferCam’s Top 10 Christmas Tips

2008-12-18T09:45:00.000+10:00

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table
knows nothing of the **Christmas spirit**. In fact, if you see carrots,
leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.**

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare.. You cannot
find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has
10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an
eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me.
Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy.
Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed
potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or
whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car
with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your
eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other
people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's.
You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the
time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while
carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted
Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near
them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of
attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind,
you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you
don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three.
When else do you get to have more than one dessert?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory
celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or
get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips;
start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.

A favourite pastime

2008-12-16T14:34:00.000+10:00

Wherever I have worked around the world, I’ve always played this game of giving people I don’t know, a nickname.
I’m not sure why, call me an observationist (if that is a word), call me a bitch, call me what you like, but I think it’s fun.

Here are some of the people that work in my building :

The Most Beautiful Girl in the World - I call her that because she thinks she is, but she certainly isn’t – she’d be lucky to be a 5 out of 10. And smoking a pack or two a day is not sexy either.

Mimi – remember Mimi from The Drew Carey Show, well this girl is the spitting image of her, with a little less makeup. Every time I get in the lift with her, I have to stop myself from pissing my pants laughing at her.

Madonna Man – previously mentioned on this blog, this guy has a chain around his neck with the word Madonna on it, a thing hanging off his mobile with a picture of Madonna on it and, best of all, the word Madonna tattooed on his arm and a picture of her tattooed above it. And guess what – from what I can tell, he’s not even gay!

Barbie – this girl looks like an actual living, walking, talking Barbie doll. The resemblance is uncanny – she is quite tall, thin, blonde and her face is a perfect match for a Barbie doll. She truly is amazing and a bit freaky at the same time.

The Most Annoying Person in the World – unfortunately I have been in the lift with this woman a few times and I have to do everything in my willpower not to stab her to death with my mobile phone. She mid-40’s, dresses like she is on acid or colour blind or both, and has to know everyone’s business.

Hairy-Grub Eyebrows – you know those hairy grubs you see in your garden, well there’s a woman in this building who has two black bushy hairy grubs permanently mating on her forehead. They standout even more because she is blonde, and they are black. She freaks me out – well, the 'grubs' do.

The Rocker – Mid-50’s bloke, dresses and acts like he’s just got off stage. I have to stop myself from shouting “Where’s the rest of the band?”

INXS – there’s a guy here that looks exactly like the saxa-mo-phone player from INXS. I want to ask him to play the solo from “Never tear us apart”.

Big Head – She’s actually quite attractive, dresses really nicely and has massive boobs, but her head is gigantic! You see her and have to stop yourself from going “Whoah! I’m not getting in the lift with that!”

Grandpa Munster – except she’s female, but she has the exact same lips and nose as Grandpa Munster. Maybe she’s his long lost granddaughter…

And then there are the people that work for a government that’s in the building, where the following is acceptable at their work – dreadlocks, wearing boardshorts, wearing t-shirts, pierced-lips, pierced eye-brows etc etc.
I wish I could get a job there….

Australian Movies

2008-12-10T09:50:00.001+10:00

Don’t get me wrong, I love Aussie Movies, including most of those mentioned below.

But people often wonder why Australian Movies don’t perform all that well.

Gee, is it really that hard to work out?

We (Australia) make weird movies, or they are targeted at a very small segment of the market, that’s why.

Priscilla Queen of the Desert – Drag Queens riding around on a bus.
Romper Stomper – Skinheads bashing everyone and anyone.
Muriel’s Wedding – Werido chick who tries on wedding dresses.
Strictly Ballroom – no, not the porn version, the movie about ballroom dancing.
Kenny – The guy who cleans dunnies for a living.
The Castle – A family that enjoys living next to the airport.

And the ‘best’ of all :
Bad Boy Bubby – now tell me that’s not the most fucked up movie you've ever seen!

And the other thing about Australian Movies is that they all have the same actors.
You can’t make a movie in Australia without Bill Hunter – it’s the law!

What other Aussie movies fit into this category?

Schoolies

2008-12-08T10:58:00.001+10:00

Schoolies is over for another year. Thank God!

One of the pitfalls of working right in the middle of Surfers Paradise is have to endure the annual drink-till-you-spew and pash-anyone-in-sight fest, known as Schoolies Week.

For those playing at home who don’t live in Oz, Schoolies Week the week at the end of your final year at school, where you and your friends get an apartment for a week and drink yourself stupid, rarely eat or sleep, and end up getting it on with strangers or that person in your class you’ve been eyeing-off since grade 8, and now that you’re both drunk, finally have the guts to hit on.

Some of the interesting articles I’ve read about Schoolies week so far :

Morning After Pill - Pharmacies in Surfers Paradise have reported triple the number of sales of the morning-after pill during this year's Schoolies Festival – nice one girls.

Meningococcal – some poor kid has contracted this awful disease. Some of the symptoms to look out for are nausea, vomiting and headaches – mmm I bet no-one at Schoolies would be suffering from any of those…

Injured – Two teenagers were injured in a minor car accident – Why? Because they were laying in the back of a ute being driven around town when it crashed.

Schoolies Religion Camp – a Camp for religious people where there is no drinking, no smoking and no kissing or sex – I have already booked in my 6 year old daughter for when she does Schoolies Week in 2020.

Nothing Better!

2008-12-05T11:38:00.001+10:00

There is nothing better than going into a bottle shop and doing your shopping with a trolley.

Yesterday I bought the following :

- Carton of Carlton Draught
- Carton of Heineken
- Carton of Tooheys Extra Dry
- A Heineken Keg
- A bottle of Vodka
- A 6pack of mini vodka bottles

That should get me through the rest of the week....

Girl + Boobs + Surfboard = SurferCam in Love

2008-12-03T16:12:00.001+10:00

Disgusted – Part II

2008-12-02T14:23:00.000+10:00

The other day I brought you the story about the car crash.

Well check out what happened on the day BEFORE the accident :

“The 18-year-old driver was also charged with two counts of dangerous driving, two counts of evading police, two counts of unlicensed driving and two counts of unregistered vehicle relating to incidents which allegedly took place last Friday, the day before the fatal smash.”

UNBELIEVABLE
Why was he allowed back out on the roads!

Brain Snap

2008-11-26T16:01:00.000+10:00

Have you noticed lately how common it’s become for people to use the term ‘brain-snap’ as an excuse to get out of something stupid they have done!

It seems to be used by well known people – mainly sporting people, and more specifically Rugby League players and coaches – for when they fuck up big time.

The do or say something stupid, but when questioned about it, they seem to be exonerated as soon as they say, “oh, I had a brain snap.”
Oh, well that’s ok then.
It doesn’t matter that you glassed your girlfriend, threw a phone at someone or accused a whole sport of being cheats and biased, you said it was just brain snap, so you’re ok then.

And so what the fuck IS a ‘brain-snap’?
Well, I had to google it and here is the answer (by the way I googled this after I had written the above) :

BRAIN SNAP - the term used by famous people (and normal people) to justify doing something really stupid that if they'd taken half a second to think about it they probably wouldn't have done it anyway. It's a cheap way of saying sorry for doing something dumb and not taking any slack for it.

You know what – I don’t think ‘normal people’ use this term at all and I think the last sentence explains it all.

Disgusting

2008-11-24T11:55:00.001+10:00

If you live in Australia, you may have already read this article below.
The accident happened only a few kilometres from my place on Saturday afternoon and my partner drove by only a few minutes after it happened. Luckily she wasn’t going through there a few minutes earlier.

Apart from that, it’s just disgusting that these young blokes, the driver be unlicensed, the car unregistered, chose to sit and eat take away food rather than help a dying old man.

“A group of youths sat on the roadside and ate fast food while an elderly man lay dying from a crash involving their high-performance car, witnesses claim.
The four teenagers and one 27-year-old were travelling in a Subaru WRX when it collided with a 1974 Ford Escort panel van on Saturday at a roundabout at Miami on Queensland's Gold Coast.
The panel van was hit with such force that it flipped onto its side, partially ejected an 82-year-old man. He suffered chest injuries and later died in hospital, while his 72-year-old partner sustained abdominal and leg injuries and remains in a critical condition.
A police media spokeswoman said the Subaru, carrying five occupants, was unregistered and the 18-year-old driver disqualified from driving.
Police also confirmed to the Bulletin that the car and its owner were known to them, having been impounded on November 13 for 48 hours for hooning offences.
Witnesses to the accident told the Bulletin they were disgusted with the youths' behaviour, saying not one of them attempted to help, and instead sat and ate McDonald's that had been dropped off to them.
"They just stood there and then they sat down and then someone dropped Maccas off to them," local resident Fabian Atzori told the Bulletin.
"What is it with young people where they can just turn off to human injury?"
A passenger of the Subaru was charged with failure to provide information to police, and three other Subaru occupants were handcuffed but not charged.
Sergeant Brendon O'Reilly said the crash investigation team were still investigating the crash to determine whether the Subaru was speeding at the time of the accident.”

Scary

2008-11-11T15:30:00.000+10:00

Fingers politically correct story reminded me of something that happened to me a while back.

I was 18 and living in America and was returning for a holiday in Oz.

My 14 year old sister and I were travelling together on a flight from Denver to LA and 2 young and very dodgy looking middle-eastern guys sat near us.

As we were taxiing to the runway, they stood up and rushed over to the emergency exit door right in front of us and started fiddling with it.

The hostie told them to sit down but they ignored her and continued on to hang up some sort of scroll on the exit door.

My sister and I shit ourselves, turned to each other and thought ‘This is it!’

Hurriedly they laid some inscripted towels on the floor, knelt on them and started praying.

The hosties were now yelling at them and I felt like telling the hosties “don’t fucking upset them!”

They eventually finished their prayers and returned to the seats, leaving behind several rows of frightened passengers and two shit-scared young Aussie kids.

One of the most terrifying moments of my life.

Lucky I had my brown undies on….

I'm Back!

2008-11-10T12:51:00.004+10:00

I've been in :

and :

for :

and :

Today is….

2008-11-07T10:46:00.001+10:00

....National Convenience Store Workers Day.

As usual, a big prize of sweet fuck all goes to the first person who can guess why.

Always check your child's homework.....

2008-10-17T10:26:00.001+10:00

What is the world coming to?

2008-10-16T11:10:00.001+10:00

I picked up the paper this morning and within 1 minute read two items that left me shaking my head and once again asking what is the world coming to? :

No.1 – The state government has banned Christmas decorations on street signs and street lights.

WHAT A FUCKING JOKE!

Why is the government banning it? Because they are “too distracting to drivers”….
However, the hypercritical government are still allowed to have their adverts for the rail system hanging from the same street signs and street lights.

No.2 – All forms are football – including touch football – are now going to be banned from being played at lunchtime at a school on the Gold Coast. Even soccer - the girliest, sookiest, most feminine game in the world - is going to be banned.

WHAT A FUCKING JOKE!

First there was the girls in Far North Queensland who were banned from doing hand-stands and cartwheels, now this.

This country is going to be left with nothing but a bunch of sooks if these governments keep introducing pathetic rules such as this.

What a fucking joke!

2008-10-09T11:59:00.001+10:00

What is the world coming to?

A FORMER soldier says he will disregard an order by a council in south-east Queensland to lower his Australian flag, after a neighbour complained it was ``offensive''.
A Logan City resident erected a five metre flagpole eight weeks ago to honour friends who served in Iraq.
On Tuesday, council staff at Logan City just south of Brisbane contacted him to tell him a neighbour had complained and was told he could face legal action if the flagpole was not removed.
``I find it astonishing that anyone could find the Australian flag offensive,'' he said.
"My family and friends have served for the country and the very least I can do is have a flag to show my appreciation for Australia.''
A Logan City Council spokeswoman said there was concern the flagpole could fall down in high winds.
She said he needed a building permit, because the pole was only 4.5m from the kerb and, under the Queensland Development Code, it should be at least 6m from the front.
He said he would not be moving the flag.
``I can't see how moving the flag back a bit is going to stop it being offensive,'' he said.

SurferCam’s Mottos

2008-10-02T11:39:00.000+10:00

Over the years, I have lived by the following mottos :

- Be the Shepherd, not the sheep.

- Expect the unexpected.

- Why put off until tomorrow, when you can put it off to the day after tomorrow.

- A fussy man is a lonely man.

What are some of yours?

I don't trust them

2008-09-24T12:41:00.000+10:00

“The student gunman who killed 10 people at a Finnish school before fatally shooting himself in the head worshiped war, hated mankind and lived alone with his cat.”

I’ve never trusted guys who like or have cats.