My Mind Answers

Boost Your Self-Esteem With These 10 Tips!

2008-06-15T14:16:00.000-07:00

If you feel like you can't achieve the things you want to, and your try as hard as you can but always fail, you may just need a kick start for your self-esteem. Things 10 little pieces advice will get you away from the feelings that you are not good enough.

Believe it or not, your health can suffer alot just from negative thinking. Without realizing it, you may limit yourself from the possibilities and opportunities you would be living through by not taking as many risks. Some people doubt themselves because of their past mistakes and are afraid they will make mistakes again if they try.

Your brain is the tool you have used to make yourself feel like this, and it is the very thing you need to bring your spirits back up. Stop thinking negatively, and simply follow the advice in these 10 tips to be on your way to living a happier, more satisfying life.

1. Don't compare yourself to others. Most people will only realize when someone is better than them (or so they think), and you probably won't compare youself to them in a positive way. Instead, compare yourself to your own personal standards, and compare to how you have been in the past.

2. Don't think so negatively! Other people will undoubtable pick on you and put you down... so then why should you do it to yourself? Don't listen to the negative things people say, and certainly don't think hem yourself. Also, don't look at your mistakes as failures. Learn from them and to better next time.

3. Confirm the positive things that you think about yourself. This is basically the opposite of no 2. If you can can thinking to yourself about the negative phrases then you can certainly program your minds to just think of positive things. You are already in the mindset of thinking about something over and over. Now all you need to do is change that something to something positive!

4. Accept compliments from others. Don't just ignore the person. If you ignore them then it gives the messege that you feel as if you are not worthy of the compliment and it shows low self-esteem. Also, people will be less likely to compliment you if you don't graciously accept them.

5. Take advantage of and use websites, life coaching programs, workshops, books on how to raise your self esteem and develop a more positive attitude. There are so many things now that will help you to shape your body and mind to however you want it. There are so many different things that are out there to help you. By reading this article you are taking a step in the right direction. Continuing to look for help is a great way to solve any problem.

6. Spend your time with poistive, supportive people. Ever hear the saying, "If you lay down with dogs you'll come up with fleas" The people that you hang out with do have an influence on you. Why would you want to be around people that are always negative and criticizing things? Supportive people will give you positive ideas, and they will help you raise your self-esteem. If others feel good about you, you will feel better about yourself, and you will feel better about people in general. Developing a network of caring will is a great way to raise self-esteem.

7. Acknowledge your good qualities and the things you can do well. Many people with low self-esteem think that they aren't good at anything or that they are not as good as someone else at the things that they can do. Everyone has excellent qualities, and maybe you just need to discover them. Or if you really don't know what you are good as, ask others to help you. I guarentee they will find tons of skills that you completely forgot about.

8. Don't put up with more than you can handle! Everyone has a limit that they can't go past. Sometimes people with low self esteem are trying to tolerate more than they can handle. Find out what things you are making yourself put up with and try to just cut those things out of your life. Not voicing or acknowledging your needs will only stress you out more, and when you can't accomplish everything it will only lower your self-esteem.

9. Help others. Now, don't do to much for other people and start doing for them what they should be doing for themselves. But when you do something positive for someone else you make them fell better, make them feel better about you, and you will probably notice that you feel better about yourself. You will feel a lot more valuable which will raise your self worth and self-esteem much more than you would probaly think.

10. Do things that you love. If you enjoy something, do it. Don't let someone tell you it is a waste of your time or that it is pointless. Many people who have low self-esteem have stopped doing what they loved to do. Many people constantly say how much they hate their job. If you are one of those people, why not look to change your job? I am not saying to immediately change career paths, but at least take some leisure timne for the activities that you once loved.
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Do You Have A High Achievement Motive?

2008-03-17T18:45:00.000-07:00

Obviously, some people are more hardworking than others. This can be seen in the lazy couch potatoes and busy workaholics. But what gives someone the drive and motivation to work hard? Well, according to psychologists like Jon Krakauer the Achievement Motive is just another trait gained through heredity.

The Achievement Motive is defined as the need to outperform others, conquer difficult challenges, and obtain high standards.

Here's a little test to help you find where you fall on the achievement motive scale.

Write a little story for what you think is happening in this picture. It does not have to be long, but the more you write the more you will be able to tell if you get more achievement arousal or affiliation arousal.

This is called a TAT test (Thematic Apperception Test). It has been used for a long time and is widely used because it is supposed to bring out a person's unconscious, hidden motives, and repressed feelings.

So let's look at what you wrote about. You either fall into one of these two categories.

Achievement Motive

You feel the need to overcome challenges and outperform other people.
Here's what your story might sound like:

Joe is a musician who has been trying for years to make money and become famous. He practices on his guitar every day in an attempt to be the best musician he can possibly be. One day he enters a contest. He is very nervous but he still plays well and thinks of how happy he will be if he wins. In the end, Joe loses and he is very sad.

Affiliation Motive

You need to associate with others and maintain some sort of social bonds. These are the people people, the people who love to chat and just like being with others. Instead of winning a noble prize or tackling challenges, these people would rather find companionship, love, and friendships.

Here's what the story of a person with a high need for affiliation might sound like:

Joe is a very lonely musician. He plays his guitar every day in an attempt that people will stop and listen to him. Some days he even makes friends with the people that stop to watch him. The man in the background is one of his only friends. This man is the owner of the store, and he let's Joe play his guitar outside. Joe is sad that his family abandoned him. He uses music to escape from the world.

Here are two different stories. Compare the one you wrote to these two. Did you write about challenges and winning or people and social interactions? Of course, being completely one or the other is really ideal. Most people are a mix of these two. With that said, I'm sure not many people are exactly 50/50. It's always good to know what side you lean towards.

Anyone can benefit from learning their strengths.*

Overcoming Shyness

2008-03-01T09:21:00.000-08:00

Being shy is not a bad thing. It's fine if you need time to feel comfortable with new people and situations. Some people though, would like to be more sociable, and these tips will help you become more outgoing. An very important part of overcoming shyness is having confidence. For tips on Building Confidence check out this post.

1. Begin with friends and family. It Is much easier to tackle your shyness by starting small with people you know. When talking or interacting with people focus on your eye contact, positive body language, small chats, and questions. Start with people who you feel comfortable around and slowly work your way up to everyone. Remember to smile and show people that you enjoy talking to them.

2. Increase your assertiveness. Sometimes shy people can be too wary of other people’s feelings and don’t want to cause controversy. This does not mean they're wimpy or cowardly. But it may how assertive, or in this case not assertive, they are. Assertive means that you can speak up for yourself when you should, you can ask for what you want or need, and you can tell people when they are getting out of line.

3. Have per-made starters for conversations. The hardest part of talking to someone is most of the time how to start. Thinking of openers, like introducing yourself ("Hi, I'm James, we are in the have History class"), complimenting the person ("That shirt looks really good on you"), or asking them question ("Do you know when our report is due?"). It is a lot easier to approach someone if you have things in your head to say so that you don’t walk up to someone and panic!

4. Practice what you are going to say. You may be avoiding something because of your shyness. This is a great time to try a phone call or going up and talking to someone. Must like the last tip of having a starter, write down the rest of the conversation too so that you will be prepared with what you are going to say. Then say it to yourself out loud. Then go for it and if it is not the way you practiced don’t worry about it, just keep going. Remember, everyone gets nervous and stressed at times. Be confident only means hiding this nervousness and not letting it interfere with what you are doing. Then it will seem even easier next time because you will have already done it once.

5. Be Yourself! You want to make friends with people who share interests in the same things as you. It’s fine if it takes time for you to get to know people, but don’t be scared to go talk to people. A lot of shy people worry about what people will think about them or how people will judge them. Worries and feelings like these can keep you from trying. Some people are too hard on themselves. Think if you’d be so critical if it was your best friend. Some people would be much more accepting of their friend, and if you are then just try to be less serious and disciplinary towards yourself. Think of yourself as your own best friend. Say and do whatever fits you and your style. Being the real you is what makes you noticed and attracts friends.

The TRUTH about Marijuana

2008-02-26T15:56:00.000-08:00

Marijuana is the center of one of the hottest debates in psychology, medicine, politics, pretty much everywhere. Everyone has their own opinions about marijuana and it seems everyone has their own data and statistics proving their side is correct. It is the most popular and widely used drug in America, and many people argue how harmful, if at all, this drug really is.

Well, sadly, the truth is we really don't know what affect marijuana has on the brain.

I know what side I'm on when it come to marijuana arguments, but I'm not trying to force my ideas on you. All I want to do is give you some true facts and let you decide.

Does Marijuana cause respiratory problems?
Many people have heard crazy things like a joint of marijuana hurts your lungs as much as 50 cigarettes. Obviously this is an exaggeration, but really any kind of smoke that enters your lungs will have negative effects on your lungs and/or throat. Therefore, even if marijuana does not affect the brain heavy use would still be discouraged because of the damage it does to a person's lungs.

Does Marijuana weaken your immune system?
Studies have been done on this with animals, and theoretically cannabis could slightly suppress the body's immune system. However, when studies were done the data found that smokers did not catch substantially more infectious diseases than nonsmokers. Although this does complete wipe the idea that marijuana has an effect on the immune system, research has shown that the amount of influence it has is minimal and probably not enough to base any strong argument on.

Does Marijuana really have negative long-term effects on the brain and cognitive functioning? Obviously, smoking cannabis has a negative effect on attention, cognitive ability, judgment, and a whole list of other mental activities. But is this a permanant effect or does it just wear off? Well, it is very unlikely that marijuana could have no affect on the brain. The question is whether the effects are prominent enough to really make a difference in a person's thought and thinking. The Yurhelun-Todd experiment tested 3 different groups; those that did not smoke, short term smokers (only smoked for about a week or a few days), and heavy users. The results on the Auditory Verbal Learning Test they were given seemed to be consistent with popular belief. The marijuana-free subjects did the best, although the short term smokers scored only about 5% lower. However, the heavy users' scores were way lower, about 15%. This does prove that marijuana can have a big impact on learnig. Intrestingly, however, after the heavy users stopped smoking for about a month the deficits vanished!

These back and forth results seem to favor both sides, and it seems that since marijuana is already seen by siciety as harmful, it would have to be proven as harmless for people to accept it. As you can see from the results, this will be extremely difficult, and instead of trying to persuade others what to think, make a decision for yourself and do what you feel is right.

Setting Goals

2008-02-26T13:57:00.000-08:00

Maybe you find that you never really accomplish the things that you plan to. It is important to make your goals challenging, but not too hard that you never succeed. Here are some tips for goal setting.

Bumps in the road do not mean failure. Mistakes and doing things wrong are part of learning. Building experience will make you a better person, and it will teach you things that will actually help you in life. It's ok to try a few times before you reach a goal. It's perfectly normal to make mistakes. Really there's something wrong if you can do everything on your first try. Remember to always keep trying and to learn from your mistakes.

Make your goals realistic and specific. Make your goal doable. Failing to reach a goal will only crush your dreams, make you feel worthless, and reduce your drive toward that goal. Don't set goals that you don't think you can accomplish. Also, try to break up something that will take a long time to do. Instead of saying, "I want to lose 40 pounds" you can say, "I want to lose 8 pounds a month". Also be more specific with your goals. Don't just make you goal helping the environment. Make an effort to recycle and carpool as much as possible in order to help the environment.

Keep reminding yourself of a goal. This may seem silly, but you really can train your brain to do something. By saying out loud and writing your goals you want to achieve, you will reinforce this. You are then sort of subcosciously motivating yourself. Every morning when I look
in the mirror I say what I've done well and what I need to change. Day by day I try to improve something. I'm not sure who say this, but it's a great quote. "Perfection can never be obtained, but reaching for it will only bring you closer."

Don't expect change immediately. Everything takes time to change. No matter what you are trying to improve in your life, whether it is waking up earlier to exercise or quitting cigarettes, you will need to give it a chance. Don't expect to see instant results. The bigger changes will usually need more time to get used to. Keep at what your trying and don't give up because usually where you want to be is just around the corner.

Do it for yourself, not someone else. I always hear people saying that you need to find "your passion" and get a job about it. This is very true. You need to find within yourself the drive to do something. You need the desire to do something, and don't let a friend, boss, or someone else try to tell you what to do (Of course I'm talking about when you're not on the job. When you are getting paid your boss can make you do anything). However, you should choose a job that you enjoy doing what your boss wants you to do because your motivating yourself is a lot stronger than someone else trying to push you.

Sad or Depressed? Here Are Some Solutions

2008-02-15T08:45:00.000-08:00

Depression takes over a majority of people at some point in the each person's life. Whether a family member died or you have been fired from your job, sadness is a common, natural feeling. Though everyone feels sad, most people can bounce back and go on with their life after a short period of time.

Depression is sadness that you can't seem to get out of. You feel sad all of the time and cannot enjoy the fun and happiness that you used to.

Recognize troubles, but don't obsess over them. Think about why you are sad and what events lead to your sadness. I know everyone says this, but it really can help to talk to someone about the things that make you sad. Then once you get over them try to focus your energy on things that make you happy. Give the sad things their deserved notice, and then push them out of the way so you can think about better things.
Do something creative and fun. Depression can have a negative effect on a person's creativity and fun levels. Try to paint, draw, write a song, or dance. Scientists have shown that creativity and happiness is linked. Did you ever get that surge of happiness when you thought of a new way to do something? Though people don't know if creativity makes you happy or if being happy makes you more creative, most people agree there is a correlation between them.

Do something fun. Hang out with a friend that is funny. Watch your favorite movie that always make you laugh, or read a funny book. The expression "time flies when you're having fun" means that when you are doing something fun, that is the only thing that matters to you at the time. When you are depressed, doing something fun can make you forget about the bad things and remember how much you like to laugh.
Eat right. A lot of times depression can affect how people eat. Actually, many psychologists look for this when they suspect a person to be depressed. If you feel sad watch what you are eating with more care. Some people overeat, and some seem to starve themselves. Getting proper nourishment in food and vitamins can increase energy levels and happiness.
Get exercise. Even as little as half an hour a day can make a difference. Although you probably won't feel like being active when you are depressed, making yourself go for a walk, ride a bike, or play a sport can really bring up your mood. Moving around will also increase the endorphins in your brain. Endorphins are chemicals in your brain that control happiness

Also, yoga and meditation can do the same as exercise. Meditating, breathing exercises, or acupuncture are used by people all over the world to increase happiness and get away from the world to relax.
Look at yourself as a leader. A lot of the articles on this site link back to confidence. Confidence is the key to overcoming many things. Have faith that even though you are sad you are still strong, and that you can push yourself through whatever is happening to you at the moment. Try to stay positive and hope for the best, but don't be disappointed when something less than perfect happens (because it probably will)

Overcoming Peer Pressure (In Adults too)

2008-02-15T08:15:00.000-08:00

Peer Pressure is a very concerning topic when talking about children, but can peer pressure also apply to adults? Sure it can. Some adults succumb to peer pressure without even knowing it. So, are you influenced by peer pressure?

What is Peer Pressure Again?

When you hear the phrase "peer pressure" you probably think of a 16-year-old trying to get his friend to drink or do drugs. But actually, this is a very narrow view on the huge spectrum of peer pressure.

All the people you spend time with influences you. You learn from them and they learn from you.

Therefore, all peer pressure is not necessarily bad. But some people do give in to bad advice. So, here are some ways to protect yourself against the influence of others.

Prepare yourself for situations. If you think someone might try to pressure you into doing something, think of a argument or excuse ahead of time. Try to predict all the possible things the person will say so that you can have comebacks ready. This is similar to what a lawyer does to prepare himself for the other attorney's attacks.
Think of yourself as a leader. One reason people give in to others is because they don't have enough confidence in themselves. You have to think of yourself as just as good as that person, and your ideas are even better than theirs. You can also take a look at this article about Building Self Confidence .
Stall. This might seem like a lame tip, but it can really be affective sometimes. When a person asks you to do something, say, "Not right now" or "Maybe later". Sometimes they might just give up asking you altogether.
Don't do things you know will hurt other people. You don't have to confront other people in your group. Just say something like, "Let's not do this" or suggest another thing to do instead.

Reversible Figures

2008-02-12T14:28:00.000-08:00

Here are some reversible figures for you to look at. Each of these pictures can be interpreted as two different pictures. Enter away message text here.

Rabbit or a Duck?

Normal Set of Stairs or Upside Down Stairs ?

Ahh seen this one before?

Also a popular one. Old Woman or Young Woman?

So why do people see things differently?

Well, what you see in a reversible figure is all about perception. This shows that any one person's experience in the world is extremely subjective. Any one thing or event can mean radically different things to different people.

Interestingly, what a person perceives can seemingly easily be manipulated. One way of doing this is by controlling a person's expectations. Try it out yourself. Taking the first picture, if you saw a rabbit first try get a family member or someone near you to come look at it. But, say, "Hey come look at this weird rabbit" Then see if they see it as a rabbit or duck first. Usually, the person will see it as what you tell them it is (Although they will probably figure it out since the context of the post is all about reversible figures)

3 Types of Intelligence

2008-02-10T12:35:00.000-08:00

IQ tests have a pretty big meaning in culture today. People have seemed to correlate scores on an IQ test with general intelligence or a predictor of success. This view overestimates the amount that an IQ test can measure. Most IQ tests only asses the academic/verbal intelligence of a person. There are also, according to the well known psychologist Robert Sternberg, 2 more types of intelligence; practical and social. Here is an explanation for each type of intelligence.

Verbal Intelligence

People who are verbally intelligent are very good speakers and writers. Usually, these people are the ones that score highly on IQ tests. They are usually quick readers and can comprehend an article exceptionally well. Interestingly, these people seem to be experts in a particular field. These people enjoy learning about a specific subject and seem to throw out information they do not find interesting or helpful.
Teachers, television hosts, politicians who give very good speeches should all have high verbal intelligence.

Practical Intelligence

People who have a high practical intelligence are the creative problem solvers of the world. They can see all different sides os a problem and come up with the best solution. I say best because there are probably many solutions to everyday problems, the someone with practical intelligence will be able to determine the most efficient way to accomplish something. These people tend to make good decisions and are usually much better at math than reading or writing.
Scientists, engineers, and mathematicians usually have very high practical intelligence.

Social Intelligence

Someone with a lot of social intelligence has a social conscience and is considerate of others. They will accept other people for who they are. They usually think about the consequences before they do something, and always keep others in mind. People with high social intelligence are fun to be around and get along with others well. These people also can sense others feelings better. For example, they will know when another person is sad or if something is bothering them. Really any job where you deal with other people, such as cahier or salesperson, would be a good job choice for a person high in social intelligence.

Reasoning Traps

2008-02-08T11:31:00.000-08:00

Do you think that when you try to reason the correct answer that you are really thinking logically? Do you always make the best decisions? Here are some Common traps people fall into when reasoning.

The Gambler's Fallacy

If you have a coin and flip it 7 times, and it came out tails every time is there more of a chance it will come out a certain way on the next flip?

Some people would say it would be more likely to come out heads. Since the ratio of heads to tails it 1:1, the 7 tails would need to be balanced out by 7 heads so it is
more probable that heads will come out.

Wrong!

Every flip is independent of any other. Therefore, every time you flip the coin there is an equal chance of it landing on heads or tails. It is true that eventually the flips will end up 50/50, but probability cannot be applied to any single event. Probability is only intended on predicting a string of flips and not each individual flip.

The Law of Small Numbers

A subject reaches into a pot and grabs out 4 green beans and 1 red bean. Then the beans are put back and a second person grabs 23 green beans and 15 red beads. Both conclude that there are more green beans in the pot, but which one has better evidence?

Most people would conclude that the first person has better evidence because the ratio of green to red beans that he pulled was 4 : 1. This would suggest there are more green beans, but the odds of having more green in the second example are much higher. Since the second person's sample is so much larger, there is much less of the chance factor involved.

Small numbers have a much greater chance of giving misleading and not accurate results.

Most people see that large samples are better, but few really understand how much results in small numbers can vary and be unrepresentative. This belief in small numbers also explains why people generalize things after only experiencing a few cases.

Predicting the Improbable

Which causes more deaths?

Accident falls or gun accidents?
Tuberculosis or floods?
Suicide or murder?
Asthma or tornadoes?

Actually, the first answer in each of these pairs causes more deaths. Don't feel bad if you got some of these wrong. People frequently tend to overestimate the improbable. If has been shown that people seem to predict these events higher because they are dramatic and get high media coverage, although they are very infrequent. Fatalities from disease on the other hand, tend to be underestimated. Interestingly, many researchers believe that people overestimate these high media things because they are fresh in people's memory from reading about them or seeing them on the news.

How to Curb Your Eating Habits

2008-02-06T16:45:00.000-08:00

There are two causes of hunger: Biological and Environmental

Let's go into each one in more detail

Biological

You brain and chemicals in your brain cause you to be hungry. In the hypothalamus is responsible for chemicals like serotonin and leptin which, when released, make you hungry. When the levels of these neurotransmitters get low, the hypothalamus releases them and you become hungry. The only way to control this (for now at least) is to take a pill which regulates leptin levels. What the pill does is keep the levels of leptin higher so that your brain doesn't need to make as much, and you don't become as hungry.

Environmental

Obviously hunger isn't only a means for survival because many people eat when they are not hungry.

Food-Related Cues tend to make people hungry. For example, the commercials of those big juicy cheeseburgers make your mouth water, right? This is because the picture food is triggering the hunger in your brain.

Stress can really affect eating. I know when I have a stressful day i seem to be magnetically attracted to the kitchen. It is not well understood why stress causes overeating. Some people believe that the negative emotions cause it. Others say the psychological arousal is responsible.

Learned Habits pretty much determine what your eating habits are. You probably eat similar things to your parents and what you ate growing up because you have been conditioned to eat it. Eskimos have learned to eat maggots and fish eyes! This proves that with repetition, people can train themselves to eat just about anything.

Changing your eating habits really isn't as difficult as people think. Try to eat healthy for a week. You will then realize after it how much easier it is then when you first began. The repetition will gradually increase the taste, and you will eventually like it.

What Are the Factors of Motivation?

2008-02-04T18:26:00.001-08:00

Many people wish they were more motivated towards the things they do every day. Here I will break down motivation so that you can see what makes some "overachievers" more driven to the things they do.

Personality- Some people were just born with motivation. Their biological chemistry makes them push themselves to the limits. Chances are if you are reading this, then you probably aren't one of those people. Since you can't really change your personality, let's look at the other two things.

Probability of Success- Whether you realize it or not, everyone judges the tasks they are faced with. When you need to do something you estimate how much you are sure you will succeed. Most of the time people do not challenge themselves is because they fear failure. Overcoming the fear of failure it called confidence. Have confidence in yourself and remember that even if you fail, everything will still be ok. If you want some tips on how to build your confidence, here is a post specifically on Building Confidence.

Incentive Value- This is just a fancy way of saying how much the reward is worth. If the reward or prize at the end of the work is not worth it then people won't even bother doing the work. This can be a hazy decision because sometimes the real reward can be far off and unclear. For example, children see no real reward for doing homework. The real reward is, after years of work, a degree and hopefully a good job. This may not seem worth it at the time. What you can do it give yourself little rewards along the way. Many diet programs allow you to have a snack once a week to give to something (besides losing weight) to look forward to so that you will stay motivated.

Building Self Confidence

2008-02-03T09:29:00.000-08:00

So what exactly is confidence? Well, confidence is the feeling that you have control and you can do what you want. Confidence means that you feel things will turn out the way you want. Of course having self-confidence does not mean you can do everything.

Actually, many times people are not confident in themselves because they have unrealistic standards for themselves. Then when they fail to reach the unreachable goals they have a feeling of failure.

Confidence is not something people are born with, such as intelligence or personality. It is something a person develops over time. Therefore, it can also be changed and shaped. Many people are not “confident people”. You probably feel confident in yourself in some areas (such as sports) and not as confident in other areas (such as school and test).

How is Self-Confidence Originally Developed?

In a child’s earlier years, their parents shape the child’s confidence. If the parents are accepting and loving and show confidence in the child, then he or she will naturally gain confidence. The values of society can sometimes constrict a child and make him or her feel worthless of unable to compete. Also, friends can be a big determinant of a child’s confidence.

Have Confidence in Your Own Abilities

Research has shown that confidence is not dependent on abilities. That means that just because a person is good at something does not necessarily mean they are confident. Be confident in yourself that you can do the things you set out to. Also, if you do fail, remember that everything will be ok.

How to Boost Your Confidence

Reward Yourself For Trying- Even if you do not succeed, give yourself credit for trying. If you really poured you heart out and tried your best, then you should be pound no matter what the outcome is.

Emphasize your strengths- Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. Try to use your strengths more and build confidence in them. Then after you accept the things you are not-so-good-at, you can slowly begin to build confidence in them too.

Positive Self-Talk- Remember the Little Tank Engine? By telling yourself you can do something you will be much better at it. You can build confidence in yourself. Don’t wait for someone else to tell you, be your own source of confidence. Also, by telling yourself positive things you can block out the negative thoughts that come to you when you blankly find yourself becoming nervous.

Learn From Your Failures- Failing can be a good thing… if you learn from it. Realize your mistakes and improve next time. You may fail again next time, but if you can improve your performance you will have just a little more confidence. Keep trying, and eventually you will be able to confidently do the thing that once made your knees turn to jello.

Scientific Causes of Happiness

2008-02-02T17:04:00.000-08:00

Happiness is a very difficult emotion to study and there are many different theories behind it. Here are some real things linked to happiness and myths that people thought caused happiness but did not.
Things that Don't Cause Happiness

Money- Of course there is a correlation between having money and being happy, but it is usually overestimated by people that don't have money. Once above poverty, there is really a small, if any, relationship between money and happiness. Even families making over $100,000 a year frequently complain about not having enough money. Many people are actually more depressed when their main goals are about money and material objects.

Parenthood- Joy and fulfillment can come from children, but they can also be a tremendous source of stress. Parents have been shown to worry more and having more problems with their marriage. Amazing amounts of money are spent on children, and tiredness and stress are common long-term "side effects" of having kids. Of course I'm not saying having kids will cause you to be depressed. Just don’t counts on it attain your life-long search for happiness.

Age- Though kids seem to be happier because they have little to worry about; when a person hits his or her teenage years the real personality seems to take hold. Although over time your values will change ( Health may become more important and money less important), most people's level of happiness seems to be consistent and not dependant on age.

Intelligence- Though intelligence is a coveted thing in today's society, research has shown no real connection between IQ scores and happiness. Satisfaction seems to be less about intelligence, and more about what you do with your intelligence.

Physical Attractiveness- There are some obvious advantages that good-looking people how over the, eh, not-so-good-looking, but interestingly there has not been a correlation found between looks and happiness. There are plenty of depressed beautiful people, and on the other end of the spectrum, there are tons of happy ugly people!

Thing's that Moderately Cause Happiness

Health- Good health would have to be a predictor of happiness right? Well, it is more of a grey answer than that. Research has shown about a .3 correlation (which is about average) between happiness and good health. A good point is that most people seem to take health for granted, not realizing how much they should enjoy it. Also, very disabled people aren't usually as unhappy as would think, which shows there is a weak correlation.

Religion- A wide variety of surveys seems to show that religious people tend to be happier than those who aren't. No one is really sure how religion increases happiness, but then again no one full understands happiness. It seems that religion gives people a sense of purpose and meaning, giving people a positive outlook on life. It will help them accept their faults and become part of a good, caring section of the community. Also, instead of being preoccupied with death religious people tend to feel somewhat assured they will be ok and less worried about death.

Social Activity- Humans are very social animals which is shown in our unique speech compared to other animals, our sense of humor, and of course our instinctive sense of love. Many people tend to be happy if they are satisfied with their friends and social networks. Also, people who are extremely happy usually have more satisfaction with their friends and relationships.

Thing's that Strongly Cause Happiness

Love- Relationships can be very stressful, but consistently psychologists find that people who are in love are happier than people who aren’t, and much happier than people who have been divorced. Also, it seems that marriage is one of the keys to happiness. This is interestingly true throughout all other countries, not only in the United States. Though it is not clear whether good marriages are created by happy people or good marriages make people happy, there is definitely a very strong connection between love and happiness.

Jobs- Job satisfaction has shown to be a very important factor in happiness. On the other side of this coin, unemployment has a very negative effect on a person’s happiness. Like love, it is difficult to sort out which causes which, but it can be confidently said that they are connected.

The Past- As I said before, a person’s happiness seems to be consistent throughout their whole life. Therefore, by looking at how happy you were in the past you can predict how happy you might be in the future. According to recent studies, lottery winners’ and accident victims’ happiness changed only slightly. Because of this stunning evident, more psychologists are beginning to study personality and subjective well-being in order to assess the causes of happiness.

Memorize Anything Easily

2008-02-02T14:57:00.000-08:00

Here is a great way to memorize things. It is only 4 steps and it has worked for many people in the past.

1. Write down what you want to memorize on a piece of paper (or on a computer).

2. Go to a quiet room where you can concentrate and read a sentence to yourself.

3. Close your eyes and outloud say the sentence you have just read.

4. When you have memorized one sentence, try to go to the next one and say both of them outloud. Keep doing this until you have memorized all the material you had written down.

Tips

Make sure you can concentrate and you are fully focused on the subject.
Taking a nap sometimes helps because research has shown sleeping strengthens newly memorized material.
To not try to do this all at once. Over a few nights try it so that you aren't cramming it all in.

Improving Everyday Memory

2008-02-02T08:10:00.000-08:00

Many people would like to know how to remember things better. There is obviously no secret trick to having a great memory, but here are some things to remember when trying to study or just committing something like a shopping list to your memory.

Repetition- IF you're trying to remember something, you have to repeat it. Everyone’s heard 'practice makes perfect' and that's because it really works.

Remember, you can't Overlearn material. Although some psychologists say that once you know the material 100% it is overlearning, studies have shown that it still increases the subject in your memory which makes "overlearning" somewhat is a misnomer.

Also, keep in mind that the human mind tends to remember things at the beginning and end, forgetting the information in the middle. If you need to learn a list (or a chapter) spend some extra time on the items in the middle because they are most often forgotten.

Schedule Practice Times- This is mainly a tip for studying. Try to spread out studying throughout a couple of days instead of cramming the night before. By planning when you will study you can be sure that you have enough time for it, and there will be no interruptions. Focusing on the things you are trying to study is very important, and any interference while studying can result in forgotten information.

High-Level Thinking- Some students just read the words on a page, and if you asked them what they had just read they would have no idea. It is important to think deeply about what you are reading. Spend less time repeating and rereading words, and spend more time thinking about what they actually mean. Analyze what you are reading, and make times it helps if you can link what you are reading to your life and make it personally meaningful.

Verbal Mnemonics- These are little tricks to help remember things. For example, when figuring out which way to turn the screwdriver many people remember, "right tighty, lefty loosey" This is a very effective method. Using phrases, poems, or acronyms can really help to remember something.

Rhymes- Rhymes can be used to greatly enhance the memory and retention of things. Rhymes are used very frequently to help students remember lists of rules or objects like the , "I before C except after C"

Visual Mnemonics- Allan Paivio, a forefather of psychology, goes as far as saying the brain has a second memory for images. Many popular methods depend on visual mnemonics.

Joining method- This method includes forming a mental image of items in a way that you can join and link them. If you needed to remember things like milk, potatoes, and pens you might create and image of someone mashing potatoes with pens while drinking milk. Have fun with this one because many people say the crazier you image is, the better you will remember it.

Method of Loci- This involves walking down a path in your mind, and setting an image for each thing you need to remember at each stop. In your mind visualize yourself taking a walk through your house or neighborhood. For each thing you pass, try to envision as detailed as you can the thing you are trying to remember. Then when you need to remember it, take that same walk in your mind. This has been proven to be effective for remembering things, but it is especially good for remembering things in order because of the sequence of the walk.

Abstract-Concrete Method- This is usually used to remember someone’s name or remember a translation for a foreign word. By pairing concrete word with an abstract word or name you can remember the image of the concrete word, and hopefully, remember the abstract word. For example, if you just met a woman named Ridwana, you might remember ‘iguana’ and then make an image of a iguana in your mind.

Don't Ignore Base Rates!

2008-01-30T18:02:00.000-08:00

Joey is very hyper all the time. He loves taking chances and going to extremes. He likes to push the limits and always be doing something dangerous. His hero is Evil Knievel and he loves to do crazy things that amaze people. He is also very athletic. Would you say Joey is a stuntman or a salesperson?

Many people would guess that Joey is a stuntman because the description of his personality resembles that of a stuntman. However, this is not a very good assumption because the number of salespeople in the world far outweighs the number of stuntmen. Therefore it is much more likely that Joey is a salesperson. People commonly (though not always) disregard base rate numbers. Similarly, people tend to think they are a special case and the odds don't apply to them. Many smokers can easily guess the chance of someone else getting heart disease, but they fail to realize how likely it is for them.

Realize that you are part of millions of people in the world, and yes, the odds apply to you too.

As Amos Tversky said, "People think their own cases are unique, rather than part of a huge lottery. You hear the argument 'the odds don't apply to me'. Why should God, or whoever is running this lottery, give you special treatment?"

The Science of Taking Chances

2008-01-30T17:17:00.000-08:00

Many things in life are risky. The actual definition of a risky descicion is making choices under conditions of uncertainty. Thus, probability and chance play a huge role in determining if something risky is worth your gamble. Here is great way to calculate how much you can expect to make (or lose) from something risky.

Expected Value = (chance of winning x amount you win ) + (chance of losing x amount you lose)

Lets say your friend has a fair 52-card deck of cards. He tells you that if you randomly pick a card and the suite is spades you win $5, but if it is any other suite you lose $2. Should you play? Let's find out.

Expected value = ( 1/4 x 5) + (3/4 x -2)
= 5/4 - 6/4
= -1/4

This is a simple example, but the Expeted value formula can be very helpful with not-so-obvious risks.
The game is in favor of your friend, and the value of you playing this game is -1/4. In other words, every round you play you are losing about a quarter. Obviously, the answer is no, you won't play. The odds are against you. Now you definately wouldn't play... or would you? Research has shown that people very commonly try to go against the odds. People buy lottery tickets and gamble at casinos where they know the odds are against them. Even buying house insurance has a negative expected value. It is intresting then, that most people spend money on these things.

It should also be noted that the "sentimental" value of something isn't included in this equation. Buying a lottery ticket could give you a sense of hope or buying insuranse for you car or house could give you an extra sense of security which would then make its value higher than the number in the equation. Also, if people don't know the probability of events (what is the probability of your house getting flooded?) then they must rely on their own estimates. Sometimes these can be completely out of proportion and lead to unwise decisions.

How Riddles Trick You

2008-01-29T15:24:00.000-08:00

There are many different obstacles that riddles can throw in your way. Here are the things that riddles use to try and prevent you from getting to the answer.

Irrelevant Information- Many times riddles try to throw in things that don't really have anything to do with the question that is being asked. It is very common that the irrelevant information in a problem is in the form of numbers or measurements. People start doing calculations and don't realize that it has nothing to do with the question. Try to figure out what information is relevant to the question being asked and throw the rest out. It may help to completely cross out information you think is irrelevant (just remember you might change your mind so don't destroy it in pen)

Mental Sets- A Mental Set is a when you try to use a strategy that has worked in the past to get to the answer for the present question. Many times when people find a question with similar wording to one they have seen in the past, they insist on using the same formula to get to the goal. This may be a good first try to solving the problem, but if it doesn't work don't be surprised. Try to open your mind to all possibilities and forget about the riddles you have done in the past.

Functional Fixedness- This is very common in problems that give a list of things and say "how would you do it?" Functional fixedness is seeing things only for the purpose of their intended use. For example, you have stapler in one riddle and you need to do something with it. Many people will only see it as an object to staple papers, but it can also be a weight, projectile, wedge etc. Interestingly, young children seem to be a victim of functional fixedness less than teens and adults because they have been less exposed to the objects being used for their original purposes.

Giving Yourself Unnecessary Constraints- A lot of times people assume things that have never been said in the problem. By making assumptions you can put boundaries on yourself that will keep you from finding the answer. Stereotypes also fall into this category. Many people think of a woman when you say "nail salonist" or men when you say "lawyer". Try not to put restraints on yourself. read the question carefully and assume you can do anything all long as the problem does not say you can't.

Now that you know the tricks of riddles, try each of the 4 Types of Riddles.

The 4 Types of Riddles or Brainteasers

2008-01-29T14:51:00.000-08:00

Many people ask me how to solve a riddle because it is a very cool, handy mind skill. One of the first things you can do in solving the problem is noticwe what kind of problem it is. There are 3 different types, and here is each one with an explanation and example.

1. Decpetive Detail Problems
These are probably the most common of riddles. They try to get your mind to wander off thinking about something irrelevant to the question when the answer to the question is really very simple. These are difficult because you need to pick out the key details without being led onto the unneeded ones.

There are 4 brothers in a family and each has a sister. Including the mother and father, how many people are in the family?

Your driving a train and at the first stop 5 people get on. Next stop, 10 people get on and 4 people get off. At the next stop 3 people get off and 12 people get on. Then at the final stop 4 people get on and 9 people get off. How old if the person driving the train?

2. Problems of inducing Structure.
These ask you to find a relation bewtween numbers, words, symbols, or ideas. Analogies, completing the series problems, and relationship questions all fit into this category.

Sun : Day : : Moon : ___

1 2 8 3 4 8 5 _

3. Problems of Arrangement
These problems require you to move parts around until the solution is obtained which is usually only one or a few of the many possible combinations. Most people will try to do these problems with a trial and error appraoch. and Anagrams, which are jumbled words that as you to rearrange the letters.

dkrbyoa

crupemto

4. Problems of Transformation
Requires you to go through a series of transformations in order to get to the goal. In these you have to go step by step in order to get to the goal, and they are usually much more difficult than the other 3. One popular example of a problem of arrangement is the popular Rubik's Cube.

You have a 3 cup jar, a 7 cup jar, and a 36 cup jar. If you can take and pour out as much water as you want, how can you measure out exactly 52 cups of water?

You can also read How Riddles Trick You for more tips on riddles and brainteasers.

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answers: 7 (all brothers have same sister),your age, night,6,keyboard,computer, fill up 36 cup twice and pouring from that fill up 3 cup twice and 7 cup twice
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Door-In-the-Face Persuasion Technique

2008-01-28T10:59:00.001-08:00

You're at home sitting on your couch one evening when you hear the phone ring. You answer it and your friend Bobby is on the line. He asks you if you could help him out with some volunteer work every Saturday morning. You're filled with horror when you think about giving up a big chunk of your Saturday (and not being able to sleep in!). After explaining to Bobby you just don't have the time he accepts your response and hangs up.

An hour later you get another call, this one also from Bobby. He then asks you if you are willing to help him out with supervising a volleyball program every other Friday. You still feel like it is a strain on your already busy schedule, but this seems a lot more reasonable that his first request so you agree to help him. There's nothing wrong with helping him, but you've just succumbed to the door-in-the-face technique.

Door-in-the-face Technique- making a large request that you assume will be turned down in hope that the person will agree to a smaller request.

Everything in human perception is relative. Research has shown that constrasting things have very peculiar effects. Think about it. Lighting a match in complete darkness will seem incredibly bright in camparison to lighting it in broad daylight when it is almost unnoticable. This trick is used a lot more than you probably think, and it is very effective. Comparitors are the things, people, and events that we compare other things, people, or events to when making judgements about them. Therefore, if you are comparing somthing to an extreme comparitor, your judgement can be unrepresentative.
-When trying to persuade other people of something, try to use comparitors that make your offer seem easy, better, and more realistic.
-Be aware of others, especially advertisements, tryign to use unrepresentative comparitors on you. Always compare things to something better and worse to try and balance your comparistors and ruduce the risk of making a bad comparison.

The 3 Golden Rules of Blackjack

2008-01-28T10:17:00.000-08:00

Blackjack, Twenty-one, Pontoon... These are all names for this casino game that is extremely popular worldwide. This is not so much detailed strategy for blackjack, but more gambling tips. Here are some things to keep in mind when going to the casino.

If you lose, walk away. Always set a number, say $300, and if you lose that amount, just leave. Never go to the ATM machine. Chasing losses will only leave you with less money and more regrets. With that being said, don't put all your "gambling money" on the table at once. When playing blackjack, I usually make my limit $400 and only put about $60-100 on the table at a time.
Press when you win, not when you lose. After losing many hands in a row, a lot of people think the next hand is bound to be a winner and they bet a stack. I personally think this is ridiculous. Luck is very important in blackjack, and it comes and goes in streaks. Bet big when you're winning, not when you're losing. Letting your winnings ride is more effective and a lot less risky than throwing money after lost money.
Count cards. Contrary to popular belief, counting cards is perfectly legal as long as you are counting in your head. If done correctly, the player will have approximately 1% advantage over the house. Now this does not seem like a lot, but let me reminder you that every other game in the casino is in favor of the house. Of course card counting requires lots of practice and skill juggling the numbers around in your head, but it could be worthwhile, and it is a pretty fun thing to learn. This is not a card counting site, but here is a link to one of the many Learning to Count Cards sites out there on the internet.

Test Taking Strategies

2008-01-27T18:28:00.000-08:00

Testwiseness means using the characteristics and format of a test to maximize one's score. Here are some ways you (or someone you know) can increase their scores on tests.

General Tips

If you think you'll be crunched for time, keep a mental note of how far you are. If the time you have for the test is halfway over then you should be at least halfway through the test. Use your time wisely and keep track of how far you are.
Don't spend too much time on a single question. If you don't know the answer, skip it and come back to it later. I remember many times when i was young taking tests where an answer to a question appeared later in the test!
Don't read too into questions. Many students seem to complicate things and many the questions seem too complex. If it appears simple, it probably is.
If you happen to answer all the questions before the time allotted runs out, review the test. Make sure you answer all the questions (as long as a wrong answer and a blank answer have the same penalty) and reconsider questions you were unsure of.

Multiple Choice Tests

Having good test taking strategies are especially important when taking multiple choice (and true-false) tests. Many questions often have clues that will help you pick the right answer

Anticipate the answer as you read the question. Before looking at the choices, think in your head of what the answer might be. Usually the answer closest to the one you thought is the right one.
Read each question completely. Even if you anticipate what the answer is, make sure you read the entire question because even the last word can give the question a completely different meaning.
Quickly eliminate the implausible answers. Many questions have possible answers and some "throwaway" options. Spotting these can help illiminate answers and allows you to then decide between fewer options. Many students also find that crossing these options out help focus on the remaining answers.
Be alert and keep an eye out for information being recycled in more than one question. Many times an answer to one question will be given away later in the test.
Use the "all of above" choice to your advantage. If you are positive two of the choices are correct then you should choose this. On the other side of the spectrum, if you know one of the answers is definitely wrong then you can cross this option out too.
Broad generalizing words like all, never, only, must, completely tend to be wrong, and you should be careful when choosing answers including these words.
Carefully qualified words like often, sometimes, generally, mostly, tend to be correct.

Essay Exams

There has not been much research on using testwiseness on essay exams. There are not many clues to an essay exam. Also, the scoring of essays is very subjective. However, here are some tips that should help you when taking an essay test.

Time is important during an essay exam. Make sure you schedule you time by 1) your knowledge, 2) the time it will take you to answer each question, 3) the points you get for each question. Just like the multiple choice test, you should answer the questions you know first.
Be organized. Make sure your instructor knows where you're going with your ideas in your essay. Many students feel crunched for time and dive right into the test writing because they fear they will run out of time. If will pay off if you spend a minute planning and create and organized essay.
In many classes you'll learn a lot or words and phrases specific to the topics you learned. Remember, the test is supposed to measure how much you have learned so it will help you increase your score by weaving these vocabulary words into your writing.

Develop Study Habits That Work

2008-01-27T18:08:00.000-08:00

Let's see how you feel about studying. Answer each of these questions either true or false.

1. ___ It's good to study in as many locations as possible (school, library, bedroom kitchen, etc.)

2. ___ If you have a professor who does crazy, hard to follow lectures then there is little point in attending class.

3. ___ Cramming the night before is an good way to study.

4. ___ When taking lectures be a "human tape recorder" and write down everything.

5. ___ Never change your answers on multiple choice questions because your gut is usually right.

All of these statements are actually false. If you answered all these correctly congratulations. If not, don't worry. Many students enter high school and college with poor study habits. Here are some tips for making good study habits.

Make a schedule for studying.
Studying usually requires hard work. Most people don't enjoy studying, and if you just wait around for a time when you "feel like studying" then the test might come before you even get a chance to study for it. It is important to have certain times dedicated to studying, and you should always be awake and alert. Be realistic about how long you will study for and take breaks if you feel your attention drifting away. Also, it is important to write down your schedule. This will be a reminder and will increase your commitment. Don't put off big projects. Experts say people tend to do littler things first and save large tasks for later, but it is important to break up big things into manageable chunks.

Find a place to study where you can concentrate
Where you study is very important. Most people don't study while while talking to someone or watching TV. Try to plan ahead and avoid distractions.

Reward yourself
Many people are not motivated to study because the reward is so far away. A degree could be years away and even a grade for the semester could be weeks or months away. Give yourself immediate rewards like TV shows or some new clothes. If you don't reach your goals then don't feel too bad. Try lowering your bar and slowly raising up, and just be determined to do better next time.

Dream FAQs

2008-01-24T13:00:00.000-08:00

A lot of people have questions about their dreams. Here are some answers to a lot of common dream questions.

Does everyone dream?
Yes. Some people just don't remember their dreams. Many times when someone reports dreaming it is because they have been woken when they are in REM sleep (the deepest level of sleep where most of the dreaming happens)

Why don't people remember their dreams?
It seems to be very normal that dreams seem to slip out of a person's memory. It is understandable that you would forget your dream because you are in a lowered level of awareness when sleeping. Usually when someone remembers their dream it is the last one they have had or one that had awakened them earlier in the night. Forgetting is natural and people who never remember dreams usually have too much time between their last REM period and when they wake up.

Are dreams instantaneous?
A lot of people had argued that a dream was a flash in your conscience and it really only lasted an instant to have a whole dream. Research in sleep labs has shown that dreams do last more than a second or two. Some can last up to 20 or 30 minutes.

Can people improve their recall of dreams?
Actually, yes. Most people don't have any reason to remember their dreams so they don't even try to. Many people have found that by focusing on remembering your dreams and setting the goal at the top of the list in your head before you go to sleep and right when waking up you will have better results with remembering dreams.

Do dreams need interpretation?
Some experts would say yes, but it may not be as complicated and difficult as assumed by many people. Freud thought they were highly symbolic, and he could translate things like walking through a tunnel or riding a horse as sex. Most psychologists do not think it is as mysterious as Freud believed. Calvin Hall actually says that many dreams are personal and that you may be the best person to interpret your dreams.

What is Lucid Dreaming?
Most of the time people are not aware they are dreaming. Sometimes, however, people have dreams where they are fully aware that they are dreaming and continue to stay asleep. The most interesting part is that people can somewhat control what happens in these dreams more than the average one. Usually people begin to get confused about what is happening and realize that they must be in a dream.

Is Dieing in Your Dream Fatal?
The popular myth is that if you are killed in a dream then you will die in real life. There is no proof to back this theory up, and of course no one could have reported a fatal dream. Probably when people wake up just before the die in a dream they feel like they have just avoided death and sometimes translate this to real life. However, there have been many reports from people who die in their dreams... and they lived to tell about it.