Man of Infirmity

2009-12-02T09:01:00.000-08:00

It took exactly one day for me to not post something holiday related. Are you surprised? I'm not.

Thing is, you have to remember, I am a VERY BUSY Man of Infirmity. For example, I worked on a puzzle over the weekend. 1,000 pieces. For some reason, I thought I could finish it over the course of watching a movie. Nope.

Also, I went to see Misled on Monday night, as well as my friend Chris do a short stand up set. Chris and I were talking inside the theater, when HIS friend Jack walked by and said hello, quickly apologizing for interrupting, which I assured him "You can interrupt as much as you want!" to which he continued to interrupt (in a friendly nature, not to mention quite funny way). The three of us ended up sitting together to watch Misled (which was excellent, and I highly recommend seeing - I'm hoping to see it again, since they're planning on switching out some material every show), and afterward Jack complimented my cell phone as I checked the time. I assured him it was a very cheap, pre-paid phone that I bought at a drug store, and we continued to joke around some more. Then after THAT, at Chris's stand up show, John from The Mountain Goats came out as a surprise guest, playing three songs (with plenty of funny banter). Chris went on directly after him (John coming out after Janeane Garofalo might I add), and completely killed it. I'm somehow even more excited to be part of The Chris Gethard show now. A night well worth having to sit in Penn Station, and then a transfer station for almost two hours.

Anywhoozle - Here is an entertaining Christmas related, "vintage" Saturday Night Live short;

I was actually just reading the Andy Kaufman biography, and while I'm not positive, I THINK this may actually have been cut from the original episode, on account that Andy's bit went over time. Fun, possibly correct trivia!

2009-11-27T13:20:00.000-08:00

I'm chipping away at record reviews and other miscellaneous things, so that I can keep working on other miscellaneous things. I'm exciting!

In the meantime, it's officially the "holiday season", and lets face it - this time of year is pretty awful aside from the holidays (in that it's cold, gloomy, and dark for like, twenty hours a day), so I'm usually ok in dealing with all the holiday stuff. In fact, lets see how many days I can post something holiday related?

(I will do my best to not make them all Hulu videos, for my Canadian friends)

2009-11-19T03:00:00.000-08:00

Amongst all the stuff I've currently got going on - Yesterday I submitted a packet-type deal, and edited this video, fairly last minute to go along with it. Unfortunately for me, after spending roughly a solid day dedicated to editing it all, every time I tried to burn it to a DVD, it never worked. So, I figured I would at least put it online, as to not have that be a complete waste of my time;

This was originally shot for a video editing class I took, as my final project. We were allowed to use a green screen, so I wanted to use one. Also, I'm clearly four years old and like video games way too much. ALSO, I'm clearly insane.

Now the NEXT few days are going to revolve around Razorcake business, ANOTHER video shoot, and my next feature in Go Metric. I am a hard working man.

2009-11-17T03:00:00.000-08:00

Updates;

1) It looks like The Chris Gethard Show has earned itself a monthly residency, KFM included. This is probably the thing I'm happiest about lately, by far.

2) While I've got a few other assorted projects on my plate right now, I've started compiling things I've written over the years, in an effort to put out a sort of personal anthology zine sometime next next - heck, maybe even earlier at the rate I've been going at it - though there's still a lot to do, and I've quit projects after being even further along than I am with this.

Anyway - it'll include a number of interviews I've done, including some non-Razorcake ones, or that just never ended up published for whatever reason, some tour journals, as well as a few other funny articles/essays. Plus, I'll throw in some nerdy liner-note type info on things, and some personal anecdotes about my writing experiences to top it all off. AND, if it doesn't turn out to be too ambitious, I may even do some totally new interviews and essays for it as well. From the layouts I've done so far, it's already passed the seventy page mark, and I could see it being at least one hundred, so it could very well be quite the hefty read.

Is it ridiculous for me to be doing something like this? As if I've done that much, let alone anything, that's really important enough to be published once, let alone again (even if this time, "publishing" means "Printing out a ton of stuff at home on the computer"). But, I DID just spend my Saturday night playing music in the basement of a grocery store in Manhattan while dressed like a sailor, so this may just be the perfect thing to do.

2009-11-16T06:09:00.000-08:00

I'm now officially a Kung Fu Monkey - by which I mean I've actually played in the band in a public setting, at the first edition of The Chris Gethard Show.

It went great! Especially considering how nervous I was getting; Between learning another sets worth of songs on relatively short period, the fact that I was using my smaller (and not nearly as nice as the Ampeg that I've been borrowing for Lost Locker Combo) practice amp, and hearing that the show had completely sold out of advance reservations days in advance. Plus, we weren't even playing a "traditional" set, and none of us had ever really done anything like this before. But it was great - a handful of really, REALLY funny New York City comedians, mostly doing bits that weren't really "bits" so much as interesting presentations, that happen to also be pretty funny (including a demonstration on the two halves of the brain).

The show also started out with a "Get to know each other" segment, where Chris asked each member of the show to share something that's been on their mind - I'd mentioned how I'd been excitedly looking forward to the show all week, and then just before going on stage, I accidentally inhaled and swallowed part of the fake mustache I'd been wearing, causing me to cough uncontrollably during our opening mini-set - and how that felt somewhat metaphorical. Also, while coughing up a chunk of fake facial hair was painful, it could not have been as bad as the Brazilian jiu-jitsu demonstration.

All in all, the whole thing was a fantastic experience, and Chris is definitely one of the funniest people I know. Here's hoping there's another show next month!

2009-11-12T08:28:00.000-08:00

Admittedly, I was pretty grouchy at first on Saturday at The Fest; By the time I was out and about, it looked like every club had mile long lines full of people waiting to get in, and even trying to get a sandwich for lunch was marred by long, unexplainable delays. But, as luck would have it, I met up with my friends, and the rest of the lines mysteriously vanished - allowing me to see Toys That Kill, Dillinger Four, Vena Cava, and a Todd C. "solo" set all with no problem. Not a bad way to spend Halloween at all.

I was finishing out the night watching Shark Pants, Panthro (from a distance at least - not to mention while being mistaken for people in bands a lot bigger than any I'm in), and the Textbook Committee (who for the unfamiliar, are Dave from The Arrivals' Guided By Voices tribute band - who I thought were fantastic, even despite not being familiar with any of their music). By the time everything finished up, I was actually in a really pleasant, and surprisingly social mood. I was all ready to hang out and goof around with the dozens of people from around the country I don't see often enough. And so I quick ran back to our hotel to drop off some things and rushed back out, ready to live it up in Gainesville!

Only - I could not, for the life of me, find a single person I knew.

Calls and texts did me know good. And after wandering around amongst the assortment of punks, locals, and horse cops to no avail, I finally said "Ok - one walk, up and down the main drag of University Ave. If I don't see a single person I know, it's time to call it a night." Fair enough.

Heading west, no luck - I did see actual frat members trying to pick a fight with some people, which was amazing in its own right, but no one I actually knew. I made it all the way to 13th Street, outside of the Holiday Inn, practically the border for any activity, when I gave up and turned around. But it was a few blocks later on my way back when I passed by Paddy, with two girls.

I'd already admitted my night was a bust, not to mention that he was with other people, AND on the phone, so I just gave him the quick "Pssst - Hey buddy" when he quickly stopped me. He wanted to know if I had someones phone number, who was missing, and potentially in some trouble. Unfortunately I didn't, but I stopped, offering to help out however possible. After a few quick phone calls, one of the two young ladies said "Ok, we think we know where he is - we're going to run over and see, and let you know" and quickly took off, leaving just Paddy and myself. He turns to me, and says "Man of Imfirmity - do you like CHEESEBURGERS?"

I said "I do."

"Well I'm rich and famous, so I'm going to buy us some goddamn CHEESE BURGERS."

So we started walking over to a Checkers just a few blocks away. "Man of Infirmity, let me tell you - I've come to The Fest every year for a long time now, and this is what it's all about - when it gets late, and shit gets WEIRD," he confided in me. "Also, I'm drunk as a motherfucker."

The lines from earlier that day had returned, with a number of characters waiting before us. A young woman came up to us and started berating us, with what sounded like "You people just come here for your stupid fest, I'm here for..." and proceeded to list some technical sounding college degree. Admittedly, I was a bit distracted by the fact that she was in some sort of unidentifiable, green, fairy-esque costume, and probably just as drunk as Paddy, if not more so.

No bother though. We were more concerned with what we would order, at this point I'm informed "I'm going to order for you."

As we get closer, another person wanders up to us, asking us to "Check out his song" and starts beat boxing, causing Paddy to dance, until he reaches his first verse, introducing it as being for Michael Jackson. Paddy stops; "No, fuck that, I can't listen to that." They argue for a minute, the points being "But he's Michael Jackson" and "He fucked kids." Again, the whole thing dissipates shortly after, leaving us to figure out what to get.

Finally, we get to put in our order. "Give me two Baconzilla's, and two boxes of twenty hot wings," to be split between the two of us. (If you're not familiar, or have somehow forgotten, I am a bit smaller than Paddy. Just a bit.) Not only do we get our food, but the good news that the person in question from earlier has been found, in no trouble at all.

"What do you say we eat this at my hotel room and watch Full House?"

Though, it was running incredibly late at that point, and we split up, each with our own Baconzilla and box of hot wings.

2009-11-09T03:00:00.000-08:00

Before any Fest stories;

When I was younger (like when I really was as old as I look now) I watched a lot of television - particularly The Late Show With David Letterman and Saturday Night Live. I started with odd nights I was able to stay up late enough in elementary school, and then regularly throughout my teenage years. Even more so in college, when I realized that there were something like five hours of SNL reruns on cable every day - and one afternoon I was laying down in bed and watching the third hour or so while noodling around on my guitar, and thought "It would probably be a pretty sweet gig to play in the backing band on a show like that." But, like my other childhood dream of being a Ghostbuster, I pretty much assumed it would never happen*.

But - after getting home from The Fest, I've ended up joining the long running (and dare I say legendary) Kung Fu Monkeys. And for my first show, we'll be performing as the backing band for the premier of the Chris Gethard Show at the UCB Theatre, this Saturday at midnight. Life goal: ACCOMPLISHED. Time to invest in a Proton Pack**.

Needless to say, I'm pretty excited about the whole thing for a number of reasons - particularly since Chris is one of the funniest people I know, and I can't wait to see just what he's got planned. I can honestly say that I'd be going anyway, and I hope it goes well enough that we get to do some more.

More info, including where to make reservations, can be found here;
http://newyork.ucbtheatre.com/shows/2204

*After reading this paragraph, I am literally shocked that I have even managed to kiss a girl in my life.

** And I digress.

2009-11-05T03:00:00.000-08:00

It took a plane, and two NJ Transit trains, but I returned home from Florida, Tuesday night, and have spent the past twenty four hours trying to readjust to eating real food, and sleeping at normals hours. There's no time to sit around and relax though, because there is BUSINESS to be taken care of. Business such as practicing a new set of songs, get ready for a couple of new interviews, as well as other writing projects, and use my new bits of furniture from The Container store.

But in all seriousness - the trip, despite some little unexpected stressful surprises, was great. And I'm thinking that, since I'm trying to work on some new writing projects anyway, it'll help get me going by posting some of the story-highlights here over the next few days or so. Now if you don't mind, I need to finally finishing up unpacking, as well as catching up on television I missed before a FIRST BAND PRACTICE (suspense!).

2009-10-28T12:28:00.000-07:00

I'm finishing getting ready to leave for Florida tomorrow (packing, cleaning, and generally doing what I can to ease the "Back to real world/getting down to business upon getting back home"). I just found out yesterday that there's a few complications with our travel plans, but I guess that just means that this will be our theme song for the weekend;

Let's see if I can survive a week of uncertainty, and chain-restaurant dining!

2009-10-25T09:00:00.000-07:00

I did make it to see Tracy Morgan - here's what it was like;

(Side note: I was sitting directly behind the young ladies he addresses at the end, ergo, had I arrived just a few minutes early and gotten those front row seats, he would've been interested in getting ME pregnant)

But it was pretty great - I do really enjoy it when comedians can get serious, instead of just desperately trying to be "on" all the time. Also, I already finished his new memoir, I Am The New Black (I got my copy signed!), and it is pretty good. Lots of "Whoa..." moments.

After that finished up, I went over to Queens, to see a comedy/storytelling show run by some friends of mine. It seemed like I was running late, but I ended up getting there just in time to be the impromptu storyteller for the night, which was great - aside from the fact that 1) I started to feel a little off on my way there, and felt TERRIBLE by the time I was on my way home, causing me to pass out in bed with a stomach ache as soon as I made it back, and 2) There is exactly one picture of me, mid-performance that has surfaced on the Internet, and sweet holy lord, I am completely incapable of looking cool, ever.

But so I've tried to rest up, as much as I could, in preparation for my weekend which included seeing In Defence from Minneapolis yesterday. This is why In Defence is probably my favorite hardcore band;

My other notes on the show - 1) It seems like all the hardcore/crust punk type dudes that try to "Tear it up" in the pit and whatnot are all really out of shape, who's biggest source of exercise comes from stretching and actually "warming up to mosh". 2) The opening band from New Jersey played a song about how they hated cops, the singer encouraging people to move closer if they felt the same way, then proceeding to walk up and shove me backwards exactly two seconds in to the song. I had no idea it was so obvious that I'm a huge narc.

2009-10-22T08:54:00.000-07:00

Another quick update - Yesterday I went through and updated all of the record review sections, with every record I've reviewed this year. It took a good chunk of time, and I was literally exhausted afterwards! (It doesn't help that I may as well be using Geocities or Angelfire or something like that)

Now, I'm off to hopefully take in a comedy show tonight, and hopefully meet Tracey Morgan.

2009-10-20T09:03:00.000-07:00

Quick update - Remember that time I went on tour with the Strait A's? You know, months ago? Well, you can finally read about it, at Razorcake.org.

Otherwise, I'm trying to finish up some more cleaning (doing ok), a writing goal I've set for myself (doing "ok"), and generally take it easy and rest up before going down to The Fest for a short week (which, considering that I feel really hungover right now, and I spent last night going to a comedy show, and then coming straight home to watch late night talk shows, I am not doing well at all).

Also before I leave, I will hopefully update the reviews section of this site before I leave.

DOUBLE also; I personally would like to see the Balloon Family get charged on some things, for no better reason than I think it will be hilarious to see what type of contraption they try to escape in! It will be delightful!

2009-10-13T13:14:00.007-07:00

I have been busy!

*I worked a few odd days at the same company I was temping over the summer, this time doing some archival/reorganization stuff. The biggest pluses were the fact that I wasn't a receptionist/ergo did not have to answer the phone all day, and I even had a nice little temp-cubical, next to a window that actually had a really nice view of some mountains, and I may have made into a fort at one point. It wasn't an incredibly long time by any means, but it did net me a little bit of money for future schemes, as well as help me be sure that I'll actually be able to eat when I go down to Florida later this month (actually, knowing my dietary habits, that may actually be for the worse...).

*I had a pretty great time making my story teller debut at the UCB Theatre this past weekend! But allow me to paint you the picture;

I'd been taking a class on story telling shows (such as the Moth, or the other hundred similar shows around New York City), along with nine other really funny area comedy people. "Telling a story?" you're saying, "That's just talking! That's easy!" Wrong! Because in the last class, my story was a whopping TWICE the length it was supposed to be. Yikes! So, the time in between that class, and the actual show was spent doing almost nothing but rewriting, practicing, and me thinking "SWEET HEAVENS, PLEASE DON'T GO OVER SIX MINUTES!"

Day of the show, I have to go into the city absurdly early, and kill time by walking around, and attempting to sell off old CD's that I don't want (because I like being able to walk around my bedroom). Unfortunately, that went pretty terrible - only getting rid of one, out of a bulky pile - until I decided to search through the sale LP's and found a copy of TARKUS (which, admittedly, it was Mike from Go Metric who exposed me to the sheer awesomeness that is this record). I haven't attempted to play it yet, though the B-side (not that that side matters as much) looked fairly dirty, but either way, it would still make for a pretty sweet decoration.

But I could not believe I stumbled upon it, putting me in a great mood before the show. I was still a little nervous, and it didn't seem like anyone I knew had come out, which is always disheartening, but a handful of friends did - and either way, it didn't matter! Because there were still a number of other people there, and I got some pretty good laughs, which, is usually even more impressive to me!

Anyway, I'm pretty sure I've actually written about my story on here before (when I interned at a network television station's office in Manhattan), so I won't recap it. But also because I'm trying to push myself into using it for ANOTHER project. Let's see how that one works out!

Also: I'm well aware that I'm writing about this latest performance, when there was an EARLIER performance (of something I wrote, at least), about a month ago, which I have said very little about. There is reason for that! GOOD reason! And so I will write about that one in time.

2009-10-06T07:55:00.000-07:00

A few things about me:

1) All things considered, I've been fairly nerdy throughout my life. Maybe not to the most extreme level, but lets face the facts;

*I've favored video games over sports for the most part while growing up.
*My getting involved with athletics involved cross country/track and field, which was deemed "Not actually a sport" by my classmates, and certain teachers. Also, I credit my getting involved with punk rock from having gone to cross country camp (tangent - this came up while I was tagging along for the very end of the Geek and Dork reading tour a few years ago, which my friend/former band mate Mike Faloon said "You weren't sure if you'd be able to ride along with the GEEK AND DORK tour and you got into punk rock through RUNNING camp??" also, I did GREAT at cross country camp).
*I own one "Bootleg" Nintendo cartridge, and at least one other that wasn't actually available for retail sail. I've also recently taken to playing import/unreleased in the US Nintendo games on the Internet, because that is REALLY EXCITING to me.
*I almost attended the Pokemon Platinum "release party", as to get a copy of it early, and autographed. I declined only because I was low on money.
*There was a brief period where I had an avid interest in Magic: The Gathering. I assembled my own deck, which was primarily black magic, because I thought that was BADASS.
*I've never played Dungeons and Dragons, but I did try to play Robo Rally (which I own - and could not get into, ONLY because I had no one else to play it with).

I think you get the idea.

2) I've been lucky enough to have many different circles of friends over the years. From school, to work, to college, to music, and so on. While I think I do an OK job of balancing them out today, when I was younger I tended to focus on one particular group at a time, and ignoring others. It started to happen when I first got into punk rock, SUPPOSEDLY it happened when I had a girlfriend for a week (when it was vocally brought to my attention that I'd "Changed", though I still doubt that), and probably VERY much so when I got involved with the New York City punk scene, going to see bands every other night, and eventually joining LLC (Where someone pointed out that again, I'd changed, and that I "Should not forget my past" and so on). That time, I'd argue that I was finally involved with something I'd loved, after having been wrapped up in college for a few years, but, I did admit that they had a point.

So last night: Coming home from a sketch show, I was having some pretty great train luck (literally no wait for the PATH back to New Jersey, and less than ten minutes for my NJ Transit train). I find a seat with a discarded New York Post left behind, which I briefly skim through (all about the Letterman story), and work on the sudoku puzzles. The first stop of the line is Seacacus junction, which is mainly a transfer station, so tons of people board, including a group of men who seemed to be coming from a hockey game, who sat near me, one person next to me. This one looks over at me, mid-doku.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"Oh, it's a sudoku puzzle."

A blank stare.

"You know, those Japanese number puzzles?"

"Pffft."

And proceeds to turn back to his cohorts. I continue working on my puzzle.

HE proceeds to pull what is my favorite, faux machismo move possible; Exits the train (the stop before mine, in what is very much a "Haves-Town"), and then slaps the window as he walks away. To clarify - he gives the "I'm going to give you shit" action through a THICK SHEET OF PLEXI GLASS. Like if I went to the zoo, and started yelling "Screw you, grizzly bear, you're a little BITCH!" through the numerous protective barricades. And ultimately, I was more bothered by the fact that I was unable to finish both the "Easy" AND "Difficult" puzzles before my stop, I couldn't help but think:

"I am in my mid twenties, a grown ass man, and STILL CATCH HELL FOR BEING A NERD."

So, take THAT, everyone who's said I've changed!

2009-10-04T05:30:00.000-07:00

PLUG;

I'm performing in a story telling show a week from today (like The Moth, or Nights of our Lives). Me and nine other improvisers/comedy types from NYC tell short stories, and generally try to be David Sedaris. I'll be sharing an anecdote about what it's really like being an intern at a network television station, and I can promise you that everyone else is really, really funny.

Details;
Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre
307 W. 26th Street
New York, NY
5:30 PM, $5

2009-09-30T08:22:00.000-07:00

Things are KIND OF quiet again, for a day or so, at least. Now my past few days;

*Got home from the shore. Immediately began working on these for Carlapalooza;

That would be a "Razorcake". Because I am really, really funny, and apparently have no qualms trying to make things I have no experience with. I proceeded to make twenty four of the buggers (making the cupcakes and the special fancy razor icing on Wednesday night, and then actually decorating the whole things all day Friday), and had to bring them to Brooklyn, where I was running a show with the Kung Fu Monkeys and a slew of other bands. It was a pleasant reminder that running shows is a pain. Then I proceeded to watch a bunch of Youtube videos with my friend Hallie and sleep on her kitchen floor.

*Woke up on said floor the next morning, watched more Youtube videos, and then enjoyed a leisurely brunch before playing the Cake Shop, where during our set, I'm pretty sure I broke my guitar again (not like, SMASHY-SMASHY broke, but like, knocking inside parts loose broke) mid-set, but THINK it fixed itself?? It gets a little hard to tell when you're dodging super balls and have a fake arm sticking out of the back of your shirt. We are PERFORMERS.

*Also. Found out that said dumb band I'm in COULD HAVE OPENED FOR THE SPITS!!! That's pretty nuts!

*I also watched Saturday Night Live, because I like doing that more than music, and had to go home because I had/have a bunch of other stuff coming up I need to work on. More updates soon.

2009-09-21T13:15:00.000-07:00

ALSO - Other "Shore" things (Wordplay!) that I find amusing in one way or another;

*Walking past a gift store with a sign advertising "GREAT DEPRESSION SALE!!!", complete with a sad looking old woman sitting underneath.

*Sitting outside as the upstairs neighbors go walking by, one exclaiming "Let's go get arrested!", both proudly and excitedly.

Also, I'm in Wawa country. What does that mean? It means that I'm finally partaking in the suburban tradition of sneaking out of the house (only, instead of being a child, I am in my mid twenties), and instead of going to parties or some such other nonsense I am purchasing pre-made sandwiches.

2009-09-20T19:16:00.000-07:00

Yeah, depression-type issues (by which I define as "Generally being sad or upset for most of the day, constant desire to not actually be awake, lack of motivation, and the sincere belief that you have no friends/people who remotely care about you") are not fun. And there have been a lot of those lately, over the past few months, and still a little bit now. But I'll get to that in a little while.

Right now; I'm down in Long Beach Island for the next couple of days, to visit family as well as the island itself. My Grandparents on my Mother's side of the family used to live here, who, as I was growing up, we would visit every summer for a few weeks, until they finally sold their house and moved south some ten to fifteen years ago. The trip was always a highlight of my year; I was much closer with that side of the family, and I'm overall much more fond of all aspects of life in a beach community such as this, compared to the crowded suburbs of north Jersey.

These couple of days actually mark my first time back spending a semi-substantial amount of time here in years; We obviously didn't go down for a few years after the sale of the house, but my Grandparents began coming up for their own vacations eventually, renting a house for two weeks. I've had enough free time to go for more than a single night only one other time, just before the 2004 presidential election (my first time even seeing my Grandparents in years - their first words including an offer to lend my a book about "How John Kerry is a bad, bad man"). This particular trip has been fairly pleasant, due to very little talk of politics, and being able to get a fair amount of time to myself, walking up and down the beach, as well as the rest of the island.

Earlier this afternoon I went for one such walk. I left the house with a book I was determined to finish, and the goal of finding my Grandparents old house, that I'd spent so much time in as a child. I was pretty sure I was able to figure out the general location, thanks to Google maps (remember, I hadn't spent much time here in years, and even when I did, I was a child, and therefore not particularly concerned with directions), and was fairly sure I was reasonably close when I left for my walk. I found what should have been the street, and began walking down, excited to see that house again, on the dead end street by the bay where I'd ride bikes, or play with other neighborhood kids, and generally felt like a real person for a short while each year. Even though my Mother, or other family had never really tried to revisit it, I'd managed to track it down! Never forget! Freedom! America!

However, as I made my way down, began noticing changes. Additions to houses. Some houses torn down and completely rebuilt. Even though my memory wasn't photographic, the changes were noticeable. And that's when it hit me; It would probably be pretty sad to see that house not exist anymore - if there was even a house there at all - which I can't imagine my Mother, or the rest of my family would want to actually see. However, I was too far at this point, and turned the last corner down the dead end street. And, as I looked around, trying to figure out where it would be, I realized that it had in fact gone under extensive renovations, almost unrecognizable. And it was in fact pretty sad.

If I've had one grown up-oriented dream, it'd been to eventually be able to buy that house and go back. But now it was impossible. Yet, as disappointing as it was for a moment, I was ok with it. First off, admittedly, I'm sure that in the rare chance I'd been able to buy the house for myself, I can't honestly say that I wouldn't have eventually made changes of my own. And besides, dreams like that are mainly just attempts at reliving the past, when all things considered, my life now is pretty ok - especially seeing how I was walking around a lovely neighborhood, that's peacefully quiet, about to finish some reading, and enjoy a mid afternoon snack while watching boats go by.

The next few weeks are going to be spent trying to figure things out, and trying to work on some things I'd like to accomplish. The next few days are going to be spent continuing to enjoying things for what they are.

2009-09-13T09:29:00.001-07:00

I will write a "real" and "formal" update soon. Depression is fun!

2009-08-31T11:13:00.000-07:00

GOING HOME FROM SEEING BIG FAN
By: Man of Infirmity

INT. Top level of a double decker train, waiting in the Hoboken train station.

MAN OF INFIRMITY is sitting in a seat looking at a Redd Foxx record when a MAN CLEARLY ON METH slumps down into the seat across from him, and mumbles incoherently for a few moments.

MAN CLEARLY ON METH: (Mildly slurring) Is this Rutherford?

Man of Infirmity keeps looking at his record.

MAN CLEARLY ON METH: Is this Rutherford?

MAN OF INFIRMITY: No, we haven't left.

Man Clearly on Meth continues to mumble incomprehensibly. The train finally departs.

MAN CLEARLY ON METH: Is this Rutherford?

MAN OF INFIRMITY: No, we literally just left the station. It's only two stops, it should only be ten minutes.

MAN CLEARLY ON METH: Ugh, I don't know if my nerves can take this.

MAN OF INFIRMITY: You're telling me, buddy.

The train stops at a station, and an ANNOUNCER is heard.

ANNOUNCER (O.C.): This station stop is Seacaucus.

MAN CLEARLY ON METH: Is this Rutherford?

MAN OF INFIRMITY: No. They JUST SAID that it isn't. It's the next stop, it'll be like five minutes.

MAN CLEARLY ON METH: Man. Can you imagine me on an airplane?

MAN OF INFIRMITY: I can't even imagine you in an airport.

Blackout.

2009-08-15T03:00:00.000-07:00

I saw a pretty great sketch comedy show from LA the other night called The Midnight Show. I kind of feel like their intro video!

Midnight Show Intro from Peter Atencio on Vimeo.

It's like the "Ok, I'm in full on, I don't care anymore-crazy" mode that Jackass and Co. always tries to do - minus the douchiness. I recommend looking them up and watching more of their stuff.

2009-08-12T11:14:00.000-07:00

I was already in my mid to late teens by the time I first started attending punk shows - in hindsight, this probably wasn't all too crazy, but at the time as a bored suburban high school-er, hearing other class mates talk about all the concerts they attended, I couldn't help but feel as if I was in fact, pretty lame, with no hope of changing otherwise.

In fact, by the time I was roughly midway through high school, I'd become friends with a group of kids about a few towns away, who were not only into the same punk bands I was into, but would always go to punk shows IN THEIR TOWN. As a resident of Bergen County New Jersey, this was actually pretty difficult to comprehend. And eventually, after spending more and more time with my new found friends, I was able to convince my very protective parents to let me attend one of the shows, when The Aquabats came through on a rare tour - at the Wayne Township Firehouse.

(And yes, I'm aware of the mild irony that I am now in Lost Locker Combo.)

I looked forward to the show for well over a month - and it was the day after Thanksgiving, adding an extra sense of excitement to the long holiday weekend - until starting to come down with a cold the Wednesday before. I immediately rushed home, and proceeded to go straight to bed, burying myself in layers upon layers of sweatshirts and thick blankets. Fortunately, it was only temporary, and I woke up Friday feeling ok, and eagerly went over early in the afternoon, to meet up with my friends hours before the show actually started. Of them, I also enlisted my good/first friend Nicole in assisting me to dye my hair (even though it wasn't permanent) a combination of neon blue, and pink. We then made our way over to the show, with plenty of time to kill, as surprisingly enough the fire house show in the New Jersey suburb was not that much of a hotbed for activity.

The show itself included four bands - The Aquabats and The Hippos who were on tour together, and locals LWL and Catch 22, who were a decent pop punk band, and a notably up and coming ska band, respectively. I spent LWL's set watching from a distance in the back of the room, enjoying everything, but still having that feeling of awkwardness from the feeling of unfamiliarity. Noticing this, my friend Nicole promptly grabbed and dragged me up towards the front just as the next band started, quickly dissolving any uncertainty I had. As the band was finishing, one of the members jumped out into the crowd, landing right next to me, when suddenly, as if a light had just been switched, I thought to myself "I am finally here, I am not just sitting around my house anymore, things like this are possible."

The rest of the show was a lot of fun, and I watched The Aquabats come out in matching wetsuit costumes, throw a lot of confetti around, and fight a giant, paper mache-and-christmas-tree-light floating eyeball (again, well aware I ended up in Lost Locker Combo). The other irony of the whole thing was that this wasn't even the first time I'd seen bands play live before; there was an instance at a skating rink, where a band happened to be playing (though I didn't pay THAT close attention), and there was a "punk barbecue" earlier that summer, where a few bands played - but this just felt important to me, as if a door had been opened to a world of new possibilities.

2009-08-12T06:09:00.000-07:00

As I've already written, things have been a bit hectic as of late. And as expected, that generally leads me not wanting to do much of anything, except for maybe sleep, or watch some form of television. That kind of stinks, when you've got a bunch of things to do!

I'd recently had somewhat of a bumming-realization a few weeks ago; Years ago, I was just writing. About all sorts of stuff, often for no reason at all, other than I felt like it. I can't even remember why, but I have memories of being in college and scrawling things out on loose sheets of paper at odd hours in the morning. And why? Probably in a half-assed attempt to feel like Cometbus or something. But, it worked.

However, now it's not the case. I can't help but find myself cursing any and all deadlines that come up, and desperately can't wait for them to be over with - and this is after reaching the point where I actually have reasons to write (Would the world be able to manage without my record reviews, or sketch writing class-output? Of course, if not better than ever. But again, that's still more specific reasoning then "What else do I have to do?"). For a while now, I've tended to have to force my way through pieces just to finish them - and I'm still not remotely happy with them. Yet, I can't help but wonder "Why?" What was the factor between then and now?

I've tried thinking of ways to remedy this, and made a few odd attempts to no avail. However, I have seen a recent "Internet Meme" making the rounds, in which people list bands/give a quick description of bands they've seen live - I attempted to do a short version the other night, as a diversion from some other work, but gave up - in thinking a little more, I decided to expand on it; To write a series of personal mini-essays about some of the shows, or general experiences I've had with music over the years. After all, that's what a good chunk of my older writing was about, eagerly chronicling my mini-adventures as a young, suburban, wannabe punk. So hopefully this will be the kick that I desperately need.

2009-08-10T03:00:00.000-07:00

I actually forgot an odd job! Technically working at the same company I do now, for about a week when they were moving from one office to another. Also, I am working an extra two or three odd days here now. And thusly, it is probably somewhat sad that I am mildly happy about that, because that's how your mind works when you pretty much only work odd jobs. Which means it's time to figure out what the NEXT odd job will be, though it will be in addition to these other things I've got going on;

*Comedy show, 9/12 - It is still technically unnamed for the time being. And also, I'm not even sure how I'd describe it just yet, other than being a full on sketch comedy show. But it's coming up, almost awkwardly fast!

* Carlapalooza, 9/25 through 9/27 - This is a returning MS benefit-music-concert. There will be lots of bands, including Lost Locker Combo, and I'm sure we will do something absurd for the occasion.

Not to mention The Fest is coming up this year, and I need to see Fleshies/Shark Pants/The Thumbs, and I actually have one other comedy-type show in October, which is such a new development I am not even going to talk about it yet but IT IS HAPPENING.

2009-08-03T06:44:00.000-07:00

Another note about the new Razorcake - Amy wrote her column as a "resume", in which she wrote about needing a job upon coming back to America, and went into a few details about all the jobs she's had over the years. So, I decided I would do the same thing!

(Translation: I like to complain!!!)

*YMCA Summer Day Camp Counselor - Summers from middle school throughout high school: Pretty much what you would come to expect, supervising kids from northern/Bergen County New Jersey (Which means "Generally spoiled and/or completely insane, with parents who could give a rip"). I also ended up working with some children with various medical conditions, such as "ADD" (although, see the previous description), and a few other pretty severe disabilities. Training for said job included a few lectures on the topics of "Don't hit the kids", and "Don't attempt to date the kids", though other co-workers broke BOTH of those rules! I also made less than minimum wage, when getting paid at all, because ripping off suburban teens for old rich dudes is what Jesus would have wanted. (To be fair, I'm pretty sure this job was responsible for 100% of my romantic life throughout high school! And I didn't have to try to date any of the kids!)

*Clerk at Local Hardware Store - Weekends and other odd busy stretches, high school throughout roughly half of college: This was another job that I fell into, as the owner was a friend of the family. I was one of two other employees, including the owner, and the other full time assistant. This was actually a pretty good job, made semi-awkward by the fact that to this day, I really have no idea about anything hardware/construction/tools/etc. There were a handful of regular customers who drove me up the wall, but to be fair, there were a lot of pretty nice people that came in as well. Assorted responsibilities of mine included: Working the register, lifting/carrying giant bags of concrete and/or salt, shoveling snow off the roof, and helping to flood-proof the store. I had a pretty good run there, right up until the owner sold the store to retire. Other trivia facts include: The CD's my boss played directly influenced my being able to appreciate Frank Sinatra, and why I hate the Bee Gees. Also, this is the job where I "met" this girl.

*Doing yard work for old people - A few odd Sundays senior year in high school: One day at the Hardware store, an old man came in, and while being rung up, offered me some work to do in his yard. At the time I was pretty "Eh", but my parents were pretty "Of COURSE HE'LL DO IT!", so I did. So, for a few Sundays, I woke up before dawn to do some yard work (Sundays normally being my one day where I DIDN'T have to wake up before dawn, which probably directly influenced why I don't like having to wake up before ten AM if at all possible. Also, out of these Sundays, this included the morning after graduating high school.) The work was pretty minor, and I got to take some decent breaks inside, which led me to believe that part of my employment involved providing company to the elderly couple. I'm not positive, but I'm fairly sure I was "fired" for not giving the husband a discount at the hardware store that I was unaware I was expected to do.

*Radio station manager - Second half of college: I'm fairly confident that to date, this is the "Coolest" job I've ever had. Granted, it technically wasn't a "job", though the position did come with a stipend for every semester, which I'd live off of for a while. But anyway...

I started out as a DJ my freshman year, which was something I'd wanted to do for a while (and was a factor in my decision on where to go). I was fairly actively involved, at points doing more than one radio show a semester. By my sophomore year I was already volunteering a bunch of extra hours with miscellaneous work, and by junior year I was co-managing with a buddy of mine, taking over fully by my senior year. The duties involved, well, managing the goon squad that was the campus radio station, which did take a lot of effort, not to mention I had the hopes of helping to build up the station, into a stepping stone to create one of those crazy music-based communities you see every so often. In hindsight, was I particularly qualified to do any of that? No, not really. But, given the circumstances, I think I can say I held my own, and I did a decent enough job. At the least, I was successful in having the station sponsor live music events (which is my fancy way of saying "We put on free shows"), which, in hindsight, cost me a good chunk of my stipend for the year (which is probably why I get along with all the older New York City punks that I do).

*Christmas Tree Lot Salesman - Winter of my junior/senior year(s?) of college: This one's actually a little rusty, but it's another self-explanatory one - a friend of the family owned what was used as a Christmas tree lot during the holiday season, and I helped. I carried around trees that were much bigger than myself, mostly for snobby Bergen-Count-ites. There were a few nights where it was cold enough that we kept fires going (with spare tree branches and pieces of cardboard) to keep warm, and I generally got along with the non-native English speaking workers much more than the handful of frat-dude types who would actually smoke on the job.

*Assistant at the television network - final semester of college: Easily the most "glamorous" job I've ever held, if only by technicality (again, this was actually a school internship, but again, I received stipends for "travel and lunch" expenses, which, by bringing my own food and buying bus tickets in bulk, I lived off of for a good while).

I am not even joking when I say "I have no idea how I ended up with this". I specifically do not remember ever applying to said television network (I'm sorry, but I am not going to say which one exactly, but if you ask me, I'll gladly go into some stories). In fact, I was sweating the fact that I was not having any luck in finding an internship, as it was a graduation requirement. One morning, probably mid-October, I'd just sat down in the campus student center, about to eat breakfast having just finished opening up the radio station. I turned on my cell phone, and had a very garbled message, about how they were from the network, and still had some openings. Needless to say, I was surprised. I called back, and while it appeared they'd wanted me for an immediate position, I nervously explained that it was too far into the school year for me to change my schedule, to which they understood, and made an offer for the next semester.

A few days later, I was going into Manhattan for an interview - when asked by the HR woman what I was interested in doing, I simply replied "I'll gladly do anything!" which I thought was an appropriate enough answer, seeing as I didn't even know what my options were. We talked for a few minutes, it came up that I had video editing experience from school, and she brought me over to a woman who was in between the sales and promotions department, and after another brief interview, I was going to be her assistant the next semester. At least that requirement was taken care of!

I started fairly soon after New Year's, anxious, nervous, but excited as well. My first task was to edit a number of small promos (the five, and ten second long filler commercials that are network specific) for the Grammy awards. At first I'd just assumed that this was some sort of busy/trial work, until I saw them on television at home, which gave me a great sense of pride. From there, I continued to do a number of other general office tasks, such as organizing, making copies of tapes for people, and so on, though some jobs were a bit more unorthodox than others; One morning I came in to my supervisor explaining to me how she would take office supplies and sell them to other friends in the industry for money, and instructed me to go into the storage room, and take as many blank tapes as possible, and meet a friend of hers outside. On another occasion, I had to sneak into the footage library while it was unattended, find and copy certain newscasts, and bring THOSE to the same friend (needless to say - that's a tad frowned upon). Also, at one point I was threatened by a woman who is now a nighttime newscaster! (To be fair, it was jokingly - but it did hit the "this is awkward as hell" mark, and how)

I did have fun there though. There were a number of days where I had to make deliveries throughout Manhattan, which was a lot of fun, especially once it was Spring. In fact, there were numerous days where I wouldn't even go straight home after the work day was over, opting to stay in the city and see bands, many of which I went on to become friends with later on that year. Other random funny notes: I briefly met a semi-notable newscaster when getting her autograph for a Mother's Day present, and I once pee'd next to Andy Rooney.

*House sitter - About a week, winter '06: I didn't really have much going on when I was woken up with a phone call from a friend of mine's father - there was a death in the family, and they needed to immediately fly down to Florida, and wanted to know if I could house sit/watch their dog for a few days. So, like everything else, I pretty much fell fanny-backwards into it.

The house was a decent ways away in upstate New York. Ok, it wasn't really UPSTATE, but like, more upstate than New Jersey, or the city, and it was in a pretty deserted area. Either way, the drive up gave me time to become more and more nervous about the following;

1) I had to take care of a dog. What did I know about taking care of a dog? Or any living thing? What if this dog is huge and tries to run away into the middle of nowhere (to be fair - my friend had her own dog, who was in fact huge, and once ate a light bulb).

2) In my haste, I'd began the drive to follow my friend's Step Mother to the house before realizing I didn't have that much gas left. Was this really easy to fix, or avoid in the first place? Of course it was. That's just how I roll.

3) The fact that I'd be in some kind of Shining setup for about a week.

Fortunately, I got there ok, and the dog was not huge (and was in fact, very, very tiny). So, for a week, I'd play with/feed the dog, and spent the rest of the day watching cable television, as well as try to work on an issue of a terrible zine I was doing at the time. It was somewhat of a strange situation, but the whole thing was pretty neat, right up to watching large herds of deer run by, plus utilizing the giant, crazy big-and-fancy master bathroom, complete with a shower the size or a tennis court. It was definitely the most pleasant odd job I've ever held.

*The worst job in the world - Summer '06 through Winter '08: This is a whole book on its own, dude. The short version being "Marketing is the dumbest thing in the world."

*Temping at my Mother's office - Spring '09 through the rest of this week: The receptionist was out on maternity leave, so I filled in. I attempted to eat as many free bagels/catered meeting food as possible, and tried to talk to people as little as possible. Also, tried finding as many free, quiet online games as possible. This week I was a fan of Flash Element TP, until I found out how to beat it after about a day.

*Punk rock - assorted: I've made some MONEY from this nonsense! Including a $5 daily per diem as a merch guy for The Ergs!, eating for free once or twice while playing guitar with The Strait A's, and making $4 for playing in a Christmas themed hardcore punk band (that's for two sets, at about ten minutes each).

Clearly, my next step from here involves being in dumb punk rock bands.