Faith's Transient Life

Struggles

2009-07-07T23:27:00.002+08:00

Every day I'm faced with struggles from the time I wake up to the time I hit the sack. In the morning, I struggle with getting out of bed in time. As Babe calls me 'Five Minute Min'. I'm very good with five more minutes. Then the struggle with what clothes to wear, breakfast to eat and the list goes on. Well, some might call this decisions but I call some of my decisions, struggles.

I struggle lots to go to the gym, eat good and wholesome food, no snacks and guess the biggest struggle is to do my quiet time, oh, it's not that, is to live a Christianly life. Guess that's my biggest struggle. There are situations that I'm faced with and this thought always come to my mind, what would Jesus do. And it's a struggle. I want to do right by God's standard and at the same time, I want to have my say and revenge but that's not what God says.

Last week's sermon came very apt to my thoughts this week. Pastor Brett said that as a Christian there's a fine balance between love and righteousness. When one turns very righteous, love dips, and well, becomes judgmental and self-righteous (my words, not Pastor Brett's). But when love takes over, righteousness dips and discipline takes a backseat. It's hard to do the right thing all the time. Yes, I agree. When I look back at my life, my parents have done a relatively good job in having a balance between love and righteousness. They tried their best to raise us with love and discipline.

Substiutional sacrifice is an example of struggle that I go through at times. Actually quite often. There are times that I would love to hang out late with my friends and live Babe at home. But when I think about it, I'm sacrificing my time with Babe with my friends and how much can I sacrifice Babe? It's not fair for him. And it's the same with my family. It's especially hard each time I head back to Spore. Most of the time that I head back, I'm back for less than 2 weeks. In that 2 weeks, I would have to squeeze time for my family, WK's family and my friends. Naturally friends take a backseat, they are sacrificed for family. And over the 3 years, I've learnt to prioritize friends. This sounds harsh but the reality is that I used to struggle over who I can meet and how do I divide my time. But as time went by, I've come to realize that if friends really want to take time to meet me, they would make time for me and not me trying to make time for them. So it ends up a handful that I really catch up each time. Well, this summer, thank God, I'll have more time in Spore and maybe I'll catch up with more friends. But reality, I would really like to spend more time with Jo Claire!

Enough of my mindless blabberings.....Well, tomorrow, one struggle less, I can sleep in!!! Woohoo!!! Summer hols are officially here for me!

Summer Plans

2009-07-04T22:53:00.002+08:00

All thanks to H1N1, my summer hols will start earlier than normal. Last day of work will be 7th July. Woohoo!!!! But I can't leave the country till the evening of 13th. Doesn't really bother me anyway. Anyway, we've finally booked our tickets and gotten our holiday plans worked out.

We're flying out on the 14th of July to Singapore. Would have flown out on the 13th but because we're dog sitting so we can only fly out on the 14th. We'll be in Spore close to a week and then on the 20th, we'll be off to Bali. All thanks to Krisflyer! Will be back in Spore on the 24th again and will be there till 14th of Aug. We were going to go to Phuket but Bali won at the end. H1N1 and political situation made us choose Bali over Phuket. But then again, we'll never know. Hopefully we won't be stricken down with H1N1.

Really looking forward to spending time with family and especially JC. At the same time, I'm a little apprehensive of spending so much time in Spore. It's been a long time since we've spent so much time in Spore at a go. Normally we spend about 2 weeks there but this time it's going to be 3 weeks. Just hope that I don't drive my parents crazy by spending so much time at their place. They might start charging me rent soon!

Where are We at?

2009-06-30T23:09:00.002+08:00

I'm kinda in a reflective mood today. Guess today marks six months of the year that have passed and we have half a year left. Got me thinking about where we are at now and what's to come.

At this point of time, we're still awaiting the adoption. The wait has been way longer than we have expected. Seriously way longer, but as usual, I'm learning or rather we're learning that God's ways as always that His ways are higher than ours, His timing is always perfect.

Job wise, we are thankful, actually very thankful that our jobs are fine. We won't say that we're secure in our jobs but rather am thankful that in this economic situation, God has been faithful in providing for all our needs and even giving to us bountifully. Nothing to complain at all. Am truly thankful. Really.

Family wise, Babe and I have our ups and downs. But throughout, we have more ups, thankfully. Am glad that God has given me my soulmate and best friend. I've nothing more to ask for. With my family, there's a new addition, Jo Claire! Really excited and happy. Can't wait to see her in a couple of weeks. Just found out last week that a cousin is pregnant. So happy for her. And as with life. When there's good news, there's always bad or sad news. Found out that another cousin of mine is dying. She has days or weeks left. Life is such an irony. A new life is on the way and a young life is on the verge of leaving this Earth.

Well, because of the adoption, H1N1, and other things around the world, our summer plans have been thrown in the air, tousled around and well, in simple terms, in a mess! But we're trusting God to lead us for summer plans. God willing, we'll be heading back to Spore on the 14th of July and then heading to Bali for a couple of days and then back to Spore for about 3 weeks before heading back to HK. Would have loved to head to the States to see my cousins and Eve but with the H1N1 madness, just too much hassle. Plus, I don't want to put Jo Claire at risk when I head back.

This is where we are at now. Life is never perfect which I always admit. But it is with the grace and strength of the Lord that we get through in life. I must admit that I often forget to be thankful and be grateful. Greed gets the better of me. I have to make an effort to remind myself to reflect and ponder on God's goodness. Am looking forward to the rest of the year. Excited to see what God has instore for us.

Life

2009-06-25T22:45:00.002+08:00

Well, this evening my mum texted me with news of a cousin having days or weeks to live. Obviously it came as a shock to me. This cousin of mine, we are not that close. We didn't really grow up together as kids unlike my other cousins. But whatever it is, she's still a Sim and she's still my cousin.

Right now, there's nothing much that the doctors can do. It's sad that she's waiting for her time. But it's not fair! She's only 30. She has a whole life ahead of her. It kinda saddens me. I'm praying for a miracle and praying that God has a purpose for this and hopefully the family will see God's power and goodness and they be converted.

Friend Request

2009-06-23T21:13:00.002+08:00

It was a really nice surprise this evening when I logged onto Facebook. Rach, my ex-student added me to her friend list. I taught Rach when she was eight and now, from my guess and if memory doesn't fail me, she's probably fifteen now.

Rach, along with a few other ex-students, is especially special to me. Like i mentioned, I taught her when she was eight and when she was ten, she found out that I was getting married. And this sweet little girl, garnered all her courage to ask me if she could be my flower girl! And well, of course I said yes! Still have her pics as my flower girl.

Well, as time passed she graduated from the school that I was teaching and in time, I left that school to come to HK to teach. I thought that we lost contact. And voila! She found me on Facebook! I was just thinking about her too. Can't believe that she remembered me. Gave me a nice, warm and fuzzy feeling. Love my job and my ex-students too!

There's Nothing That I Would Like to Change

2009-06-20T00:05:00.002+08:00

On Thursday, the fellowship and dinner group came over to our place for fellowship and dinner. Yes, I know it does sound a little silly. Cooked up a dinner, glad no one came down with a tummy ache. Had a good time of fellowship with fellow Christians. A great recharge.

It was also my turn to share my story, my testimony. I shared my story in the simplest possible way and was reminded as I shared how God has always looked out for me. Remember the footprints story? That's how I feel of my life. There were times that Jesus and I walked together, two sets of footprints side by side, then there are times that I looked ahead pulling Jesus the way I want to go, and then there are times that I get a little weary that Jesus has to lead and drag me, sort of. And times that there's only one set of footprints. Jesus carrying me when I am too tired to go on. But whatever it is, it is comforting to know that He will never leave me nor forsake me. I know that through the trials and tribulations that I've gone through and will be going through, Jesus is with me and each trial and tribulation, He makes me a better person and through Him I become stronger and more resilient.

There was one thing that I forgot to mention. There's nothing in my life that I would like to change. The difficulties that I've went through, though it seemed dark and alone then, I'm glad that I went through. It's through these difficult periods of my life that Jesus becomes real and that I rely on His strength to be a better person. Yes, I am thankful for everything in my life, ups, downs, happiness, sadness, surprises, disappointments, basically everything. God has a purpose and reason for everything and I'm always thankful.

School Closure!!!

2009-06-15T10:39:00.002+08:00

Last Thursday, EDB (HK's MOE) decided that all primary schools should be closed because of H1N1. There was a local cluster that broke out in one of the secondary schools. Well, to be honest, I was a little bummed out. We were already expecting that this was going to happen at some point of time but just don't know when. I was hoping that the school closure will happen after the school exams but it was not so and schools were closed abruptly. I spoke to some of the pupils and they were sad that they didn't have a chance to say goodbye to their friends and teachers. These were the primary 6 students and they were afraid that the school will only reopen in the new academic year. By then, they will be in a secondary school.

So, these couple of days, I won't be doing much work as there isn't much work to be done. Going to enjoy my working but not working much days and count down to summer holidays. Secretly hoping for summer holidays to start earlier!

Life isn't fair

2009-06-09T09:12:00.002+08:00

When I was a kid, there were times that I used to get into trouble for things that weren't really my fault and I would tell my mum that it's not fair! And very often her reply was, life is just isn't fair! Fast forward to many years later. I remember being a class teacher of a primary 3 class. One day, one of the kids said that I wasn't fair. And my retort was, life isn't fair and the sooner you learn and deal with it, you'll have a better life!

A few nights ago, we were at fellowship dinner with fellow Christians from Park Island and one of them was sharing and showing us pictures that he took on a mission trip with his students. As he shared, the same very thought came to my head. Life isn't fair! He was sharing about the little kids in Cebu and how their drug addict, glue sniffing parents have turned their little kids of probably less than 5 years into 'mini them'. I knew Cebu was bad as I was kinda affected by the kids when we visited a while ago. But to hear someone telling me that the kids were glue sniffing and smoking glue, that just broke my heart. Life is just so unfair. Why did they have to go through this? Do their parents have any conscience at all? They're probably too high and drugged out to care.

When I was back in Spore for JC's party, a friend asked me about our adoption. Yes, friends, it's still on. It's taking way longer that we expected but we believe, know, trust and understand that God is in control. This friend asked and even my brother in law asked, why adoption? The long wait, we could make one our own. And why should we give unconditional love to some kid that's totally unrelated to us. My answer was, these are the kids that need love because they have no one to love them. To my brother in law, I said, Jesus gave Himself unconditionally for me, He loves me unconditionally. His reply, but you're not Jesus. Yes, true, I'm not Jesus and neither will I ever be Him. To me, I know that He has called me to do this and that I feel for these poor kids. For now, this is my call. And Lord willing, someday, there will be a kid that He wants us to save, just like He saved me.

2009-06-03T20:50:00.004+08:00

Back in HK now. Arrived last night at about 11ish. Was a good trip back. to be honest, this last trip was the hardest to leave Singapore. And the irony, both of my parents were not in Singapore and the only reason is Jo Claire!

On the flight to Singapore. Yes, wearing mask because of the fear of H1N1. And this is also my first time wearing a mask. Almost gotten a headache from it!

Babe, Jo Claire and me. Joe, Joanne and Jo Claire picked us up from the airport. After dropping us off at mum's place, we went home to shower to 'wash the germs' away before heading over to Joanne's place to play with Jo Claire.

On Saturday morning, we attended Karen's wedding. God works in ways that we truly can't tell. I remember telling Karen that I can't make it for her wedding because I won't be back in Spore. But God's ways are higher than ours. Jo Claire came to the world early and we were able to make it to her wedding. This is Ashmund, Veron's son. Isn't he just adorable?

Here comes the bride, here comes the bride! Here comes the bride walking down the aisle.

My other favourite baby other than Jo Claire. This is Gabe. The last I saw him, he was this wee little baby. Can't believe how much he has grown!

Xiao Gu and mummy. Mummy is the one in black. Just look at the proud grandmas. The baby that mummy is carrying is Daphne. She's just 2 or 3 weeks and she's almost as big as Jo Claire!

Last Sunday was Jo Claire's first time going to church. She tried to be as good and quiet as possible in church but well, she's still a baby. And have a confession to make. I sat out of the message to be with Joanne and Jo Claire. Felt that Jo Claire was way more interesting than the message!

Just look at those cheeks! She's got the Sim genes. The 'bao' face. So round and chubby and cute!

Some of the cupcakes from Jo Claire's party. Aren't they just too beautiful to eat. There were more but I was too busy carrying the baby and talking to take pictures.

Jo Claire in her play mat. We bought this for her as a 'nice to meet you' present. But she looks a little tiny in the huge play mat!

Just look at that angelic face. Doesn't she just melt your heart? Kinda miss her now. Wonder what's she's doing now.

The trip back to Singapore was really good. And it also served many reminders to me. One of the things that was quite jarring was when Joe asked me to change Jo Claire's diapers and I'm like no....I don't think so. And he said that he doesn't think that I'm ready to be a mother. And I thought about it. Maybe that's true. At this point of time, I truly enjoy babies of my sister and friends. But to have a baby of mine own, it's something that I really have to think about. The other reminder was Amy. In a post that I wrote a while back, I met Amy though Stanley in Brisbane. Over time, she became a really good friend. When I met her, she asked me what was wrong 2 Thursdays ago. She read my blog. To be honest, I was surprised that she read my blog and she was concern enough to ask and to make sure that things are fine. I feel very blessed that God has given my a wonderful friend and sister in Christ like her.

It was a nice trip but I hate it when I have to make short trips. I have to really be careful with my time as there's just so little time to meet and catch up with so many people. Sorry, if I didn't manage to catch up with you. But not to worry, I'll be back in 6 weeks or so!

Saturday in Singapore

2009-05-30T22:33:00.002+08:00

Babe and I flew back to Singapore last night. Saw little Jo Claire last night. Her parents came to pick us up. She's such a cute and beautiful girl. This morning we went to Karen's wedding. What a beautiful bride. After the wedding we went to Jo Claire's party. Met other babies there. Will upload photos when we get back. So glad to be home. All thanks to Jo Claire. Was a little sad to leave her. It saddens me to think that the next time I'll see her will be either in July or August. Oh well, this is all part of living overseas. I have till Tuesday night to carry her.

This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.

2009-05-25T22:42:00.002+08:00

On my Facebook update, I wrote this, 'Faith Jasmine Sim saw the sun and the rainbow amidst the rain. And no she's not mad. She's speaking metaphorically.'

I wrote on Thursday that it was one of my worse days in my life but today, the sun shone upon me and the rainbow appeared. Ummm, it's kinda raining in Hong Kong and the weather pretty much sucked today to be honest. But to me, sun was shining and the rainbow appeared. I was very much reminded of Noah. Despite the rain and the gloomy weather, I felt God's rays of love upon me and the rainbow reminded me of His promises for me.

On Thursday, I had to make one of the hardest decision in my life. It was very hard. And in making that decision, I questioned the whole idea of Christianity and the existance of God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit, the Holy Trinity. As I laid in bed on Thursday in my sad and depressive state, I was about to be like Job's wife. Just deny, curse God and die. Oh not, literally, but rather let my Christian faith die. I thought and thought, why God? Why did You place the gift that I've been praying for ages in Your arms, stretched it out to me and then before I could even touch it, You snatched it away from me? Why this cruelty? I was about to throw in the towel on God. Then a little silent voice whispered to me,' Don't give in to the devil. Just have faith and trust.' I dried my tears, got out of bed and got ready for fellowship meeting with a group of Park Islanders. We got there and was blessed by the testimony by one of them.

Went to church yesterday and was really blessed by the guest speaker. Was reminded to rejoice. This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118: 24. I sat there thinking, yes, even in my sadness, I will rejoice and be glad in my sadness because I know no matter how deep and dark my tunnel is, God will always hold my hand and walk through my sadness and sorrow and into sunshine for He knows the best. And at the end of it all, I will emerge stronger in Him. Spoke to Dana via MSN and she was really encouraging me reminding me of God's goodness. Melissa was a great encourager too and the numerous friends that showed their love and concern. And always importantly, Babe. The patience and love that he has for me, is beyond description. And yes, God always has a plan.

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. Romans 8: 28

I know God always has a plan and that things will always work out and yes, the sun will always shine even though the day seem cold and gloomy. God will never fail!

One of the Worst Days

2009-05-21T18:31:00.002+08:00

Today was one of the worst days in my life. It was so bad that I wished that I could just curl up in bed and stay there for the longest time. But well, a wish is not reality. Life goes on and emotions and feelings just have to take a back seat. And I've learnt at a very young age, whatever that does not break me, only makes me stronger. And that everything happens for a reason and the Almighty has a purpose for everything and He will make things right.

Don't worry, won't let those assholes get me down!

Ponderings

2009-05-16T23:54:00.003+08:00

Check out the beautiful pics of Jo Claire. Joanne emailed them to me yesterday. Just love technology. Jo Claire is just beautiful, cute, adorable and all the wonderful adjectives that I can use and find to describe her.

In my last post, I blogged about living overseas and how sometimes I miss my family and friends. Well, today as I think of the reality of seriously heading home in about three and the half years' time, it made me sad. And I think, maybe I'm just not ready to head home after all. I seriously wonder if I do return back to Spore, what will I do? Do I return back to teach in a local school or be a stay at home mum and a driver? Seriously, what would I be returning home to?

I enjoy HK and what it has to offer me. The reality is that I'll never ever have the same amount of have something remotely close to what I have now. I admit that I'm very drawn to my salary. At the same time, is it just the money? I'm not that materialistic a person. I have quality time in HK. I've time to spend with Babe. We have been on more holidays together and really enjoying and exploring places more than when we were living in Spore. My stress level is low too. Like maybe at level 1? There isn't much that I'm really stressed about. And importantly, I find myself looking up to God more here in HK. I believe is the absence of family and close friends that I'm out of my comfort zone that I begin to reach out to God more. Am very thankful for that. Going to leave it to God. He'll tell me when it's time to head back to Spore. So at the end of the day, maybe I don't miss home that much after all. Well, I head back to Spore at least three times a year anyway.

There was something else that I read today that disturbed me quite a bit. Read on.

AMID the hustle and bustle of travellers passing through Changi Airport every evening, one man cuts a lonely figure. For about four nights each week, Mr Leong Chee Onn, 66, sleeps at the arrival hall of Terminal 2, with just a canvas bag of personal belongings in tow The airport has been his home for the past three months. 'I came here because I don't have a home I can go back to,' Mr Leong told The New Paper. Which isn't quite true. He shares a one-room rental flat with another man in his 70s, but says they can't get along. But whether airport or one-room flat, it's a far cry from his former home - a bungalow in Oei Tiong Ham Park, off Holland Road. Mr Leong said he was a multi-millionaire before he lost his fortune to failed business ventures in the early '90s. A check with the Accounting and Corporate Regulatory Authority showed that Mr Leong had been involved with 15 registered businesses between 1977 and 2007, most of which are inactive.His marriage fell apart after he went broke and he's no longer in touch with his ex-wife, who used to work in a bank. He also seldom sees his two children, who are in their 30s.

Mr Leong claimed that his housemate had punched him twice before and verbally abused him.'My housemate drinks a lot, smokes and gets violent sometimes. He just doesn't like me. He thinks I bring him bad luck,' he said. So Mr Leong decided three months ago to spend his nights outside the Raffles Place MRT station. But he ended up getting robbed, he claimed. And that was what made him decide to make the airport his home. On a typical day, he wakes up at about 6am and roams around Chinatown or Little India looking for part-time jobs, or he uses the Internet at his sister's office at Beach Road. He heads back to the airport in the evening, and sometimes has dinner at the staff canteen at Terminal 2. Meals, he says, are a luxury. To save money, he only eats one proper meal every two days. The rest of the time, he snacks on fruits and nuts whenever he feels hungry. When The New Paper approached him at the canteen on Wednesday evening, Mr Leong had just tucked into a few pieces of beancurd and a small plate of mutton curry, which cost him $3.50. It didn't include rice. On most days, he takes sponge baths at the airport toilets, but goes back to his flat for a proper shower 'once every few days'.

Lost two toes

Pointing to his gnarly, blackened feet, Mr Leong said he suffers from cholesterol embolism, a medical condition where the release of cholesterol causes obstruction of blood vessels. The condition resulted in him losing two of his toes to gangrene, and he now walks at a much slower pace. He said his feet hurt when he walks barefoot. He survives on a monthly allowance of about $300 from his 35-year-old daughter, and $300 from the Central Provident Fund (CPF). He was forced to stop work as a taxi driver about six years ago after he suffered a heart attack and was deemed unfit to work. Up till the late '80s, he made a good living as a sales manager with an oil company. This fact could not be verified independently. He then became a business consultant for a large liquefied natural gas plant in Indonesia, earning more than $300,000 a year. At his richest, Mr Leong estimated he was worth about $15 million. But several failed business ventures wiped him out, forcing him to sell his bungalow to clear his bank debts. Among his failures were an electronic waste management business, extracting semi-precious metals from electronic waste, and a company supplying engine repair tools to aviation companies. He recalled: 'In those days, the bank interest rate was very high. I put myself in a bad position by borrowing too much money, and I couldn't keep up with the payments.' In the early '90s, he was forced to sell nearly all his assets to clear his debts. He tried for several years to recover his losses by starting several small businesses - including one making signboards - but all were short-lived.

He recalled: 'My ex-wife told me that if I sold our house, she would leave. And she did.' Mr Leong claimed his ex-wife got most of the money left from the sale of the bungalow after settling his debts. He said he does not know what she is doing now - and he 'does not care'. He said: 'She said we still can be good friends, but that's not true.' His daughter is married 'with her own life to lead', while his son is studying abroad. But he said he is grateful for whatever his daughter gives him. Besides giving him $300 monthly, his daughter also tops up his Medisave account regularly to pay for his medical treatment. Mr Leong said he also receives some money from friends and relatives who visit him at the airport. He showed us a cheque for $100 given to him by a relative. With whatever money he has, Mr Leong sometimes buys supplements to improve his health. 'Whenever I get wounds on my feet, I apply manuka honey to them. Soldiers carry manuka honey to treat their wounds during wars,' he said. He also takes multi-vitamins to boost his immune system. Several times a week, a close friend visits him at the airport to keep him company. Said the friend, who declined to be named: 'I come here whenever I can. Sometimes I'll bring some food for him, or we'll eat together in the canteen. 'We would chit-chat and exchange views on current affairs.' More than 30 years ago, Mr Leong was his boss when they were with a French company, he said. 'It's very sad that he has ended up in this state, but he's a fighter.' For a man who has lost almost everything, Mr Leong is surprisingly stoic. He said: 'I don't believe in living in the past. You can't turn back the clock and think, 'I should have done this, or I should have done that'.

Not many demands

'I'm just happy to have survived a heart attack. I only hope for a reasonable lifestyle - I don't need a lot of money or a big house. I don't have many demands.' He added that he has not lost hope, even though he has lost his wealth, his marriage and his health. 'I still pray sometimes. I pray for peace, for good health, and for everybody to be happy. I believe the good Lord has His reasons for everything,' he said. When contacted, a spokesman for the Civil Aviation Authority of Singapore said that people who repeatedly stay overnight at the airport will be referred to the Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports.

The spokesman added: 'CAAS does not condone persons staying overnight at the airport for extended periods of time.'

This was taken off from New Paper. It's kinda sad when money has taken over love. More than a year ago, Babe decided to take time off from work. I supported his decision and told him be it a break for him to reflect upon his life or for him to do his MBA, I'll be there for him. When I married him, it was for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part. And I meant every single of those words that I recited after Pastor. Sure there were times that I really wanted to throw in the towel but it was never because of money. And yes, we always try to work it out and I must admit that Babe tries his best to calm and comfort me. It really makes me sad when I read the story. For me, take all my money but please don't take my Babe away.

You are my sunshine,
My only sunshine.
You make me happy
When skies are grey.
You'll never know, dear,
How much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away.

Childhood Memories

2009-05-14T15:05:00.002+08:00

Recently, Sharon, my cousin in the States, emailed us, her cousins, a story that she wrote of our childhood. It was a memory from our carefree days when we used to play games that we would just pulled out from our imagination. We weren't rich neither were we paupers but we had cousins and when we cousins come together, creative juices followed and viola! A game starts.

Screams and squeals of delight can often be heard. We used to look forward to the weekends and holidays so much so that we could hang out and play. I would seriously never trade my memories of childhood for anything. For some people, they see their cousins probably once a year but for us, we used to see our cousins all the time. Well, of course, we grew up and life gets the better of us but there's always still contact. When I'm in States, I definitely will pop by to see Sharon, Eelynn and Jolynn. Will be missing them this year, hopefully, next year, I'll be able to catch up with them. Lina is still one of my best friend. She was my bride's maid at my wedding and boy, did she glow!

And now, I think of Jo Claire. She's my first niece and I wonder if we continue to live overseas, will I really get to know her and watch her grow? Will my future kids have the same close relationships that I have with my cousins as with Jo Claire? Eelynn and Jolynn used to live in Manila when they were kids. Every summer, almost without fail, they would hop on a plane and spend about 2 months in Spore. And I wonder will my future kids do the same and if so, will they have close bonds with their cousins like Eelynn, Jolynn and me? I was raised in a family that has close bonds not only with the nuclear family but also with our uncles, aunts and cousins. And I wonder living overseas, will my future kids have that.

Sometimes I wonder, when is it time to return home? In a way, I'm not really homesick or feel that it is time head home. I like it here in Hong Kong. I've close friends and am happy here but sure, there are times that I wish I was home just so that I can carry Jo Claire or see Ziwei's new baby, Daphne. But....it is all part of living overseas.

God's Providence

2009-05-08T13:45:00.002+08:00

Every day, I'm beginning to see more of God's providence, of how He makes things work together, weaving bits and pieces to make it into something perfect. Things that seem, well, why can't it work, and now, I'm seeing, yes, I now know why.

This started with Easter hols. Well, I didn't make it back to Spore for Easter and was trying to figure out why. Wanted so badly to head home to spend time with family and friends. But no, went to Shanghai instead. Couldn't figure out why and why Shanghai? Why?

So things are falling into place now. Kinda know why now and God has even made it better. We went to Shanghai for 5 nights, experienced Shanghai and left Shanghai understanding that it would be hard for us to live there and also going to church would be a problem. Well, a couple of days ago, a call came for Babe asking him if he was interested in relocating to Shanghai. Without asking me, guess he knew my answer, he told them no. God brought us to Shanghai, showed us Shanghai letting us understand that living there can be very hard for us.

Next, well, Joanne gave birth and I wanted very badly to head home for Jo Claire's party. Spoke to work to ask them to give me a day and half of no pay leave. No problem, principal said go, go ahead. Before booking my ticket, I checked with my accounts clerk about the amount that's going to be deducted from my salary. Well, shock came, 5 days will be deducted. That would include, the public holiday and the weekend. I was like....what? Ridiculous! Talked with the clerk and tried to figure what we could do. Finally solution, take Mon and Tues off and no pay will be deducted! Woohoo!!!

Now, it gets even better, checked airfares, it was cheaper by 50 percent. But I called Krisflyer to see if I redeem my flight. And yes! It could be done. Flight is now free, except for taxes, which is not that much anyway. And....I even get to attend Karen's wedding. Karen was my colleague in Spore. A sister in Christ who reminded me constantly to lead a Godly life.

So there you go....things fall into place because God puts them into place. We attended a fellowship meeting in Park Island yesterday and I left feeling filled with God's love and understanding. Every day is a lesson that God is watching over me and He knows what I mean more than myself. Am very thankful!

Babe

2009-05-05T08:59:00.003+08:00

Was meaning to blog yesterday but got kinda distracted by other stuff. Well, it was Babe's birthday yesterday. Had a nice day. And yes, we went to KFC for dinner. Were too lazy to head into Central for dinner so we headed into Tsingyi which is a suburb away. And his favourite restaurant there was too crowded too and so we had KFC. We do love KFC anyway.

Most of you would know that Babe and me dated for 10 years before getting married. When we got married, I was determined to make sure that this is the man that I would grow old graciously with and the man that I'll love for the rest of my lifetime. Well, not sure about the growing old graciously bit, spotted wrinkles, but after being with him for 17 years, I still get butterflies in the my tummy when I pick him up from the airport. He's still the one that when I open my eyes in the morning, I thank God for giving him to me. Sure he snores and I snore too, that can be annoying at times, but I love him all the same. It's his snoring that actually comforts me. Letting me know that he's sleeping right next to me.

Thanks Babe for loving me! I can never ask for anything better! Love you heaps!

Patchwork

2009-05-01T21:37:00.002+08:00

I remember last Christmas when we were in States, we bought mum a Coach bag for Christmas. It was this beautiful patchwork bag. After giving to her, I mentioned to her that Babe that it was beautiful. And Mum heard and she immediately said, 'No! You're not having it now!' No, I didn't take it back from her. I love patchwork. One of the most beautiful blankets that I had when I was a child was actually a patchwork blanket that my grandmother made. She sewed it square by square and it was a beautiful pattern. It was something that money can never buy. Even now, as I look around, I wish that I can get another patchwork blanket but it's something that I've to make or find someone that loves me enough to make one for me.

I thought of patchwork because of things that has been happening now. Joanne gave birth last week and she was meant to give birth either this week or next week but she popped last week which we are all very thankful. Thankful because the swine flu or whatever flu is making everyone panic. Hospitals in Spore are allowing only one patient at one time and that would make Joanne super bored in the hospital. And mum has also gone for a short holiday. Dad also came back just in time for the birth of Jo Claire and he's off to China too. I thought of how things fall into place, how God the Almighty works in ways that He pulls everything together and makes things perfect. Like a beautiful piece of patchwork cloth. So yes, God knows every detail, every situation, and He works in ways that we do not know and He makes things perfect. Just perfect.

Baby Crazy!

2009-04-26T22:56:00.002+08:00

Pics finally!!!! Thanks to Jacqui who took them and posted them on Facebook for me. Think she got on to Facebook so that she can share the pics with me.

Oh mine!!! Isn't she just adorable? Wish I could be there to carry and cuddle her. The first grandchild in the family and everyone is just head over heels over her! Jo Claire is her name. Not sure what's her Chinese name yet. Guess Joe and Joanne hasn't decided on it.

Jo - God is Gracious. Claire - Illustrious. To me, it's such a beautiful name, befitting for a beautiful child. Well, only problem, daddy is Joe, mummy is Joanne, and now princess, Jo.....Now, Joanne, please get skpye up soon....I want to be able to see little princess and be able to chat and talk to her.

This is another one of those times that I really wish I was back in Spore. Missed Joanne's engagement as I was doing my masters in Sydney. Made it back for her wedding and now, missed the birth of her first child......

An Addition to the Family!

2009-04-24T23:26:00.002+08:00

I'm over the moon!!! Way over the moon!!! My little niece arrived! Yes, arrived today. Not sure what's her name yet. And sadly no pics of her. Hoping that Jacqui or Joe will email me the pics soon! Wish I was home this weekend. Really wish that I could meet my little niece. The first grandchild in the family. Oh well, guess, this is one of the cons of leaving overseas. Never mind....I shall see her when I head home for her one month old party! Can't bloody wait!

God Answers Prayers

2009-04-19T22:11:00.003+08:00

Did You Ever Talk to God Above

Did you ever talk to God above?
Tell Him that you need a friend to love,
Pray in Jesus' name believing that God answers prayer.

Have you ever told Him all your cares and woes?
Every tiny little fear He knows,
You can know He'll always hear and He will answer prayer.

You can whisper in a crowd to Him.
You can cry when you're alone to Him.
You don't have to pray out loud to Him.
He knows your thoughts.

On a lofty mountain peak,
He's there.
Anywhere you go,
He's been there from the start.

Find the answer in His word;
It's true.
You'll be strong because He walks with you.
By His faithfulness He'll change you, too
God answers prayer.

A long while ago I copied and pasted this song in one of my posts. Today I'm doing it again to remind myself that God answers prayers.

A few weeks and months ago, Pastor Brett of the church that we're attending in HK talked about 1+1+1, praying for one person for his or her salvation at 1pm everyday for a month. Well, not always at 1pm but at least one time a day. I was praying for a friend. And this friend's salvation matters to me a lot as I love her and don't want to see her perish. Talked to her yesterday and she said something like she's been thinking about something and she's never been so affected by something that she's actually praying about it and she hasn't prayed in the longest time! My heart skipped a beat and I was like yes, go to church and get connected to God. And I said this to Babe last night, wow, God does answer prayers after all. Babe looked at me and said, what do you mean by that? God answers prayers all the time.

I was pondering and thinking about my prayer requests and sure, there are times that I'm disappointed thinking and asking myself why hasn't God answered my prayers. But then again, yes He does but not in a direct way. Guess, patience is always the key. God's timing is always right and that His ways are always higher than mine so who am I to question Him?

Shanghai

2009-04-14T20:34:00.006+08:00

Yes!!! Back in Hong Kong! Really glad to be back! Hang on, before I go further, Babe and me did have fun in Shanghai. But maybe we stayed there a little too long. Overall, we did have fun, enjoying each others' company.

This photo was taken in our hotel. Part of their Easter decoration. We found it rather amusing to see rabbits and chicks. I mean, chicks, what are they thinking of? Bird flu, you know? And look at the poo....there's quite a bit. But at the same time, the rabbits and chicks reminded me of my childhood. I had chicks as pets before when I was really young, think maybe 3 or 4. My first pets and they walked through the rails of my balcony to their death......And rabbits, yes, I had them when I was a little older.

This is Nanjing Road. It's basically like Chinatown in Spore. A street for pedestrians. Very crowded, and yes, we were asked by touts if we wanted bags and watches. Was a nice walking streets.

I love the buildings. The art deco buildings reminds me so much of Sydney and San Francisco. Very beautiful.

A little trolley train that brings people who don't want to walk up and down the street.

A photo of our hotel taken from afar. Thank God that we stayed in a nice hotel and am very thankful that they upgraded us to a suite for 5 nights. Loved the architectual of the hotel. Very beautiful.

A night shot of Nanjing Road.

The Shanghai Art Museum. They were featuring Sunflowers.

Yes, I know what are you thinking.....Shanghai Art Museum? Yes, I admit, we got a little bored and decided, let's do something cultural and we went to the Art Museum.

Enjoyed looking at the Sunflowers exhibition.

But no....The calligraphy....Don't understand the writings, rather, can't read the writings and so can't appreciate it. Wish they did have the explanations in English though.

We went to Yuyuan, an ancient garden that was built in the 1500s. We enjoyed the walk through the garden but the moment we got out of the garden, the touts came again....Bags, watches?

South Beauty, we ate at this restaurant twice, 2 nights in a row for dinner. Love the Sichuan food there. Actually we preferred Sichuan food over Shanghainese food.

A view from our hotel.

At Pudong Airport.
Got really bored waiting from our flight. Trying hard not to fall asleep. Had to get up at like 5 in the morning to catch the flight!

So how was Shanghai? Well, think I went there many years late. Shanghai was not what I envisioned it to be. I was expecting old, traditional, and cultured. Well, let's just say, I was quite wrong. The first two days, we were excited. Love the European looking buildings and how they don't tear down the old buidings. They kept the history in that aspect. But at the same time, I was disappointed in the disappearing culture as McDonalds and Starbucks can be seen everywhere. Hated been pushed and shoved and people stopping in the middle of their tracks with no regard for others. Yes, they stop in front of the escalator to have a conversation or discussion if they should go up or not.

But I was impressed with their cabs drivers. We took cabs everywhere and many times the taxi drivers would tell us to catch a cab across the street because it'll be cheaper or if he could drop us across the hotel because it'll be cheaper that way. I honestly had the expectation that we might be cheated by them.

Overall, we enjoyed the trip because it came to a point that there was nothing to occupy us that we actually started to enjoy and appreciate each others' company.

Plans, Plans and Plans

2009-04-07T09:35:00.002+08:00

I must admit that I've this thing about planning. I love planning but don't expect my home to be neat and tidy. It's actually quite a mess at times. But I love planning in the sense that I've always known what my life is going to be in two years from now. I know what I'm having for meals each day, my diary is quite planned. Even with holidaying, I do like to know that I'll be doing. And yes, Babe called me a control freak because of that once.

However, its becoming increasing glaring in my face that no matter how much I plan, I'm truly not in control. When I was about to leave uni more than 10 years ago, it was the Asian Financial Crisis and I was feeling rather low then because my plans of entering the hospitality market and working my way up the career ladder went down the drain. I felt lost and without direction. But it was God that led me through a career change and now, I'm truly happy with what I'm doing in my life. That was one of the first lessons that I learnt that God is always in control.

To be honest, I've been mulling over writing this post. Thinking about my life and the plans that I've made and that how God has always shown me that His plans are always higher and I wonder at times and even now, what are His higher plans. We're meant to be leaving tomorrow night back to Spore for Easter and be back on the 19th. But on Thursday evening. Babe told me that the Spore trip has to be canned. And I was like, what? I've made plans to meet Sharon for tea, so excited to carry her little Gabriel. I've made plans to catch up with my other friends too. Even my tickets for Spore, I planned it way in advance and managed to redeem my krisflyer points for a free ticket. Everything was a mess. I hated it. Seriously hated it! And then, the mad rush to find somewhere that's available for us to holiday. Most places were gone and Shanghai became available. So, we're going Shanghai now.

I've been thinking, why? Why does God want us to go to Shanghai instead? And I pondered and wondered and no, I don't know. But maybe the reality is that both Babe and me have been busy with our lives that we haven't had time to pause and listen and enjoy each others' company. I thought, yes, maybe this is the reason. But the truth is that I honestly don't know. God's ways are always higher than mine and it's hard most of the time to make sense of things. I am truly learning over the years that the Almighty is always in control and He makes no coincidences in our lives and maybe we cannot see certain things now, but in time to come, He will reveal Himself to us.

On a separate note, Babe and I were chatting and talking and he said things to me that made me open my eyes about friendships and Christianity. He said things that never occurred to me and I'm thankful that he said it. Prior to the conversation with Babe, I had dinner with Mel. Mel said something like Babe and I work out well because he's my anchor and we work well together even though we're polar opposites because in many ways we complement each other. I admit, he keeps me grounded. After talking to Babe and I thought of what Mel said, it made sense. Babe is my other half as he sees and have views and perceptions that I don't have. And that's why God gave him to me. That's the best present that I've received and that's all that I can ask for.

Coldplay!!!

2009-03-27T23:42:00.003+08:00

Was at Coldplay's concert on Wednesday night. Had so much fun. Was really impressed by Coldplay. Felt that they put in way more effort than Oasis. Saw Oasis about three years ago and wasn't that impressed with them. Felt that they couldn't careless to really entertain the audience. But with Coldplay, it was totally different.

These are my Coldplay buddies. We were up singing, screaming, shouting and dancing throughout the concert! Even the old man near me was dancing and taping his feet away.

One of my favourite Coldplay's songs, Yellow. Check out those huge yellow balloons! When the yellow balloons were burst, confetti fell out. It was just so fun!

And here, the cutie.....playing Fix.....

They actually walked right to the black of the stage, where the cheap ticket seats were, and they actually performed there. That really impressed me. They made the effort to really touch their audience.

And yes, Viva Coldplay!!! Would watch them again any time! Had so so much fun!

Weekend with the Leongs and Tans

2009-03-23T21:07:00.003+08:00

I had an absolutely wonderful time over the weekend. My best friend, Stanley popped into HK with his wife Dorcas on Friday and guess they should be on their flight home now. Apart from being my best friend, he is also probably one of my oldest friend too. So so happy to be able to hang out with him and his wife. And am thankful that I gotten to know Dorcas a little better too. Met them on Friday night, had dinner with them and then on Saturday, met them briefly and on Sunday, spent the whole day with them with the Tans.

The Tans, sometimes, I tend to leave out the Tans. Adrian is a childhood friend of mine. A mutual friend of Stanley and me. Three of us met in Sunday School when we were probably 6 or 7 years old. Adrian used to live in the same estate. We used to play in the playground and had heaps of fun. I think Adrian met Cindy, his wife when he was in UK studying. I just got to know her a little better over time. Am very glad that they recently gotten married too. Was a little bummed that I couldn't attend their wedding.

We had dinner at Adrian and Cindy's place on Sunday night. While we were hanging out, we were reminiscing the days that we had in Youth Fellowship. And am very glad for the friendship that we have and for the ties that bind us together. Leongs and the Tans, thanks for making this weekend special.

2009-03-20T13:21:00.002+08:00

As The Deer
Written by Martin Nystrom

As the deer panteth for the water
So my soul longeth after Thee
You alone are my heart's desire
And I long to worship Thee

You alone are my strength my shield
To You alone may my spirit yield
You alone are my heart's desire
And I long to worship Thee

You're my friend
And You are my brother
Even though You are a King
I love You more than any other
So much more than anything

You alone are my strength my shield
To You alone may my spirit yield
You alone are my heart's desire
And I long to worship Thee

I want You more than gold
Or silver
Only You can satisfy
You alone are the real joy giver
And the apple of my eye

You alone are my strength my shield
To You alone may my spirit yield
You alone are my heart's desire
And I long to worship Thee

I've been thinking about somethings as I was walking into the school this morning. This is one of those days that I wonder why God is not answering my prayer or why is He testing my patience. Was feeling a tad discouraged, plus my back and neck was hurting a little too. There was this group of boys that was playing the recorder and one of them said, 'Let's play , As the Deer' and I thought nothing of it. And true enough on the boy's recorder, the tune came on, so sweet and calming. It really soothed my soul. And it hit me, God has to lead me and not me leading God. I have to pant for God and not the other way.

A nice lesson learnt and it truly brightened up my day. Everyday I learn little lessons from God. Life is never easy I know. Comparing myself to others, my life is full of blessings that are uncountable. God has truly blessed me. So why should I complain and be upset. Am very thankful for the little reminder from this little group of boys. And yes, God makes no mistakes, He placed these boys to even cheer me up. How great is He!