Yndi Halda

2008-05-12T15:37:00.000-07:00

"lost but not stranded yet"....kinda fits at the moment hehe

this kinda fits as well...

Ok, I'm going nuts hahaha

2008-05-01T15:55:00.000-07:00

Failure...

I still very well remember writing this post a few months ago. Evaluating all the things that happened since then and looking at my mental and physical condition right now, I have to admit that I failed. Overcoming this barriers that are so deeply rooted in my personality (apparently) seems harder than I thought...

2008-02-15T10:23:00.001-08:00

Josef Hader...I salute you!

I just love this guy. So incredibly funny! German/Austrian language skills required ;)

2008-01-07T17:03:00.000-08:00

I don't know what to say...

I have a list of 31 movies I have to watch until end of january (see one of the previous posts). Well, instead of locking myself into my room and "work" through the list, I spend more or less the whole day again in different AIESEC offices in Switzerland and in the train. Finally back home and working again on some AIESEC stuff, I got my daily midnight snack and started zapping on TV with the intention of just watching one or two video-clips and then go to bed...so far so good.

But then, I landed on ORF2. I saw beautiful cinematography, amazing pictures of an estonian city in the post-sovjet union time and a great score. "hm...looks interesting, what could that be?". Well, it ended up to be one of the most intense movie-experiences I ever had! The movie is called "Lilja 4-ever" by the swedish director Lukas Moodysson. The story was about a 16 year old girl who was abandoned by her parents who were off to the states looking for a better life. After falsly accused of being a prostitute by her "so called" best friend, her classmates from school turn against her and she eventually ended up as the prostitute. Her only friend is a 11 year old boy who regularly gets beaten by his father. One day, she meets a handsome, charming stranger in the club where she used to be waiting for potential clients. He promised to get her out of this misery by taking her to Sweden. Blinded by the outlook of a better future and by love, she agrees on going with him but instead of happiness, she finds hell as a slave of an eastern-european sex mafia...

Again, this was one of the most powerful and touching movies I've ever seen. It's on the same level as "Requiem for a Dream" or "City of God". It's one of those movies that doesn't get out of your head, no matter how hard you try and the fact that the whole issue the movie is dealing with is very present and common even in Switzerland makes the whole thing even worse.

I'm so moved right now, I guess I won't be able to sleep at all...

2007-12-27T04:43:00.000-08:00

just found something absolutely amazing:

2007-12-24T02:57:00.000-08:00

Boredoms - Vision Creation Newsun

I love those moments when I put an album into the player without having the slightest idea of what it might sound like and then be totally blown away. It happend when I heard Devin Townsend's Terria for the first time, or Kayo Dot's Choirs of the Eye, or Sleepytime Gorilla Museum's Of Natural History, or Neutral Milk Hotel's Aeroplane Over The Sea. The list could go on. However, this was not just novelty excitement. The excitement held on...for years.

What I value most in music is uniqueness. I admire artist that created their own sound, outside of any genre. There are great albums out there that sound like nothing else in the world. There are also albums that move inbetween the boundaries of a specific genre such as Singer-Songwriter, several sub-genres of Metal/Rock/Pop etc, but within the limitation, they have certain qualities that make them step out of the crowd, such as Neil Young, Tom Waits, Nick Cave, Isis, John Coltrane, Faith No More, etc. I value those artists almost equally ;)

That said, Vision Creation Newsun by the japanese band Boredoms is definitely one of the first kind. I got it after reading some reviews by people whose musical judgement I highly value (this is how I discovered most of the music in my collection). In those reviews, I've read statements like:

"One way to look at the Boredoms is as the Andy Kaufman of rock. Through meticulous study, they have completely mastered the architecture of the transcendent rock jam. But instead of celebrating their achievements, they choose to undercut their monuments to riffology in service of the first commandment of Dadaism: Thou Shalt Fuck With People's Heads."

"Adjectives: repetitive, glorious, paganistic, sun-glazed, heavenly, thunderous, gorgeous."

"the best modern psychedelic krautrock drum circle album in existence"

That's what grabbed my attention. One of my principles when it comes to music is: "There's nothing better than a proper mindfuck". A great album, besides being unique, has to leave you with a feeling of "what the hell just happend" after the listening experience. And that's excactly what happend here. This album is like a drug-induced drum-circle extravaganza mixed with the sheer beauty of great post-rock and ambient works. Imagine driving at 100 miles per hour and then sticking your head out of the window. The sheer amount of air that gets smashed into your faces makes it hard to even breath. But then, a traffic light, you slow down, you almost stand still, and then the light turns green again and you accelerate using the full power of your 500 PS engine.

This album will seriously challenge your understanding of what music is. Even after repeated listens, I can still only use metaphors to describe what is going on here. Well, I think it's best if you experience it yourself. Turn up the volume of your loudspeakers and start the video (a short version of the glorious title track)

2007-12-20T15:10:00.000-08:00

Probably my favorite music-video ever

2007-12-06T14:38:00.001-08:00

Lame excuses & big challenges

I had a revelation today. Mainly due to a train of thought which started with reading and thinking about this this post. I never considered myself as being a happy person. For a long time, I saw myself as a person which was mainly driven by emotions. Emotions which control me, control my actions, control what I'm capable of at a given point in time.

It's no secret that the major part of my life at the moment consists of AIESEC. Being president in an LC that faces many many challenges, due to the fact that we've been growing at an incredible pace over the last couple of months, is not that easy ;). A lot of things have to be handled differently than 2 1/2 years ago when I joined AIESEC. No matter how much effort I put into improving the situation, overcoming the challenges, failure was, and still is, a daily companion. Of course I felt miserable from time to time and I became afraid of the consequences of my actions; and not many positive things were created out of afraid people's minds. I refused to accept that I have the ability to control my emotions, control "fear" and eliminate the "energy-sucking" it leads to. Therefore, I always had an excuse for a lack of energy: "Well, it's caused by someting I can not control". Of course, our bodies have limited capacity /energy but I think what causes my current lack of energy is not that my body starts reacting in a certain way to the constant level of stress I'm facing. No, it's because I LET myself get stuck in negative emotions. That means, that my most productive and most active times are when everything is going right. It's like an upward-, or in the negative case a downward spiral. However, the upward-spiral is much easier to destroy that the downward.

I'm really convinced now that I have to overcome these "processes" in order to lead a happy life. I will no longer refuse the fact that I can control my emotions, and by that I mean control over how to react to external events that happen. I believed that what ever happend, happend for a reason and that I'm not able to interrupt the "chain of effects" a specific happening might have. I will no longer refuse it and therefore, becoming fully responsible for my state of mind and my actions.

2007-11-07T14:27:00.000-08:00

That's what I call party-music ;)

Nightwish - Amaranth

Children Of Bodom - Follow The Reaper

Sonata Arctica - The Cage

Equilibrium - Unter der Eiche

Dragonforce - Operation Ground and Pound

Unfortunately, I will never hear stuff like that at AIESEC parties, because AIESECers have no clue of the pleasures of headbanging to a cheesy power-metal song...hehe!

2007-11-04T14:51:00.001-08:00

Awesome!!

I could listen to that for hours hahaha

2007-10-23T15:15:00.000-07:00

Catch-22

Have you ever felt, that your stomach and heart told you that a certain person is right in his criticism about the way you act as a leader, however, at the same time, your head tells you that your responsibility towards the role you have within an organisation requires you to act that way? What if I misjudge the last point? What if my actions eventually backfire because of that? On the other hand, what if it turns out to be right, and we failed as an organisation because I didn't have the guts to stick to a specific decision? Am I a bad leader because I ask myself these questions? Or is it necessary to raise them?

Questions all over the place and I don't know what to do...

2007-10-19T09:24:00.000-07:00

Current playlist

1. Oceansize - Frames
Alternative rock with a progressive edge. Epic build-ups, great dynamics, hypnotic drum-work, tense atmosphere. Those guys get better and better with each album

2. Itzhak Perlman - Paganini's 24 Caprices for solo violin
Paganini, the protoypical virtuoso. Decades ahead of his time in terms of technical ability. Great performances by Perlman. You get the feeling that the Devil himself is playing ;)

3. Thrice - The Alchemy Index: Fire & Water
Post-Hardcore band with creative outbreakes that surpass everything else in this genre. Very intense, harsh vocals and aggressiveness alternate with beautiful soundscapes and calm atmosphere.

4. Arvo Pärt - Orient Occident and Lamentate
One of my favorite classic composers. I just recently got into his choral works. Hauntingly beautiful and kinda frightening at the same time. Actualy, this is my first encounter with classic choral work in general. I like to continuously explore all kinds of genres and types of music ;)

Soundsamples:

www.myspace.com/oceansizeuk
www.arvopart.info
www.myspace.com/thrice

2007-10-18T13:48:00.000-07:00

Bloody diploma thesis

Getting this freakin' university degree is harder than I though almost 5 years ago. I basically finished my major (media & communication) and finished my minor (business administration). All that stands between me and this degree is a thesis of approx. 100 pages and 36 movies I need to watch (my second minor is movie sciences).

Ok, why is that so hard? Other people managed to do it and many more will. However, what once started with a passion for modern and classical means of communication and art shifted into "why the heck am I still studying that?". Thanks to AIESEC and all the conversations I had during the past 2 years, my areas of interest drastically shifted and so did the things I'm passioned about. Don't get me wrong, I'm still interested in the topics I started to study, but the passion is gone. The problem is, that this change of mindset/passion was a gradual process. It didn't change from one day to another. So, basically, I'm now about to do the final steps of my studies, after 9 semesters, and I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO INTRINSIC MOTIVATION TO DO IT! *tilt*.
The only thing that pops up in my mind from time to time is "get this bloody degree before you are 26".

Some interesting months are coming up. I have three more months to watch those 36 movies and I need to start writing my thesis at the beginning of february. However, in don't have the slightest idea what the paper could be about. I don't see any single topic within my areas of study topic that would keep me motivated during the whole creation-process of such a huge paper. Hallelujah...

Stay tuned...

2007-08-13T09:18:00.000-07:00

Change....

I originally intended to write an extensive post about all those things that came into my mind since Scalds. Basically, the conclusion was that, if I continue to live my life the way I do it right now (or the way I did it during the past few years), I will eventually end up as a very very unhappy old man...If the cigarettes don't kill me first. YES I STARTED AGAIN!! BLOODY HELL!! ;)

But then again, I didn't feel like stripping my soul entirely at this point of time (I might do that later on ;) ). Instead, I will write about another change that happend. I got sick of my old template. Too much stuff going on there, too much distraction from the actual content, too many links, too many pictures, bottom line: too much randomness.

Stay tuned...

2007-07-22T15:08:00.000-07:00

Things that cheer me up at the moment

- The music by Clint Mansell
- The music by Arvo Pärt
- The music by Minus The Bear
- The leadership-team of AiS
- The funny cat in our neighbourhood
- Meeting people I haven't seen in ages
- Randomness
- Blogging
- Playing beachvolleyball
- Swimming in a ice-cold river early in the morning
- freakin' Délémont

2007-07-22T14:55:00.000-07:00

Things that piss me off at the moment ;)

- Professors that don't give any feedback on papers
- Our new parquet floor, because I need to change my "furniture-moving"-behaviour
- Horoscopes that are perfectly true
- The phrase "there are plenty more fish in the sea"
- Prison Break and the impact it has on some of my VPs
- IKEA
- Toxic niceness
- Bad timing
- People that don't stick to the informal rules of "beachvolleyball-court-sharing"
- People going on holidays
- People coming back from holidays

2007-07-09T16:20:00.000-07:00

History seems to repeat itself...and apparently, I didn't learn anything....

2007-07-09T06:43:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting in our LC-office, writing my paper which is due to be handed in tomorrow at 5pm and I'm still approx. 8 pages short of finishing it. And now this, I got a disturbing call and all of a sudden...writer's block! It's amazing and kind of frightening to see how easy it is for me to pass from a state of mind of total concentration back into this fluffy mindset when you're unable to have just one single clear thought. I have the concept in front of me, I have the structure, I have all the sources ready to finish that shit...but still...I'm unable to do it. Stuff like that has happend quite often recently and I still couldn't figure out the causes. Anyway...it could be an indicator that I need holidays, real holidays...without having to think about AIESEC, University and all those other things that fuck up my mind at the moment. Not that I'm sick of AIESEC, but I didn't havve real holidays in four years now...and I think I slowly start to feel the consequences. I think as soon as I handed in this paper, I'll go away...even if it's just for a few days. We'll see...

Kinda fits at the moment:

Refrain of "Hollow Years" by Dream Theater

Once the stone
You're crawling under
Is lifted off your shoulders
Once the cloud that's raining
Over you head disappears
The noise that you'll hear
Is the crashing down of hollow years

A bit "over-dramatic", but that's me ;)

2007-06-27T14:00:00.000-07:00

When there is a lack of inspiration...

...a blog might not be updated for almost six months. Not that there was a lack of interesting or exiting stuff happening in my life...however, mental capacity is limited and I somehow just "forgot" anout this thing here ;).

Anyway, whoever reads this, you can be sure that I will update it at least once every two weeks (I like to commit myself ;)). Just a brief update on what has happend during the past few months:

- I became LCP
- I was several times very close to a nervous breakdown
- I'm trying to become more relaxed
- I quit smoking
- I miraculously passed all my exams at the end of the winter semester (still waiting for the results of those during summer semester
- I wrote a 20 page paper within two days
- I'm getting more and more annoyed with my studies, which is quite a bad thing to happen during the fifth and final year...
- I met many wonderful people
- I had many wonderful discussions
...
...
...

Cheers

2007-01-22T05:58:00.000-08:00

Magic moments in sports (warning: complete randomness ;))

Oh, what a great game! Indianapolis Colts beating the New England Patriots (oh, I hate them so much) after a marvelous comeback during the second half of the AFC finals to advance to the Super Bowl! It was one of those magic moments in sports when you regret not being there, live in the stadium. I was sitting in front of the tv until 5a.m., unable to watch away, unwilling to miss even a single second of the stuff happening. 15 seconds to go, 40 or 50 yard line (can't remember), Colts leading by 4, Patriots Quarterback Tom Brady, known for his "nerves of steel" 4th quarter drives, throws an interception. It's done, the Colts beat the Patriots and I have a hard time stopping myself from shouting and screaming at 5.a.m. Football is arguably one of the most fascinating sports and it's a pitty that it is not more popular in Europe.

So, after sitting there, knowing that I had to get up again in less than 4 hours, I suddenly started to think about other "magic moments in sports". Roger Federer winning his first grand slam tournament, Manchester United beating Bayern München in the Champion's League final 98/99, Hicham El Guerrouj finally winning his olympic gold medal, watching Jewgeni Plushenko's figure skating skills, Phil "The Power" Taylors first 9-dart finish live on tv, watching Ronaldinho playing soccer...and so on. But if I had to pick only one moment, my all time favorite moment in sports ever, it would be this one:

Ronnie O'Sullivan playing the fastest maximum break in snooker history! Surpirised? Snooker is probably my favorite sport to watch and to play aswell. Everyone who ever stood next to a snooker table or even tried to play him- or herself will agree, that what this guy achieved here, required almost superhuman skills and talent. As a spectator, you can't deny (and everyone who still does has no clue what he's talking about ;) ) that snooker has unique aesthetics, it's at least as thrilling as american football and the fact that the mind is the most important factor in this game, makes it even more amazing.
Ronnie O'Sullivan is arguably the best player ever....when he manages to fully call-up the talent his been blessed with. This is where the mind comes in. Being a professional since the age of 16, always being toled to be blessed with extraordinary talent, Ronnie often finds himself struggeling with the pressure he puts on himself. An example would be the pullout during a game against Steven Hendry (the most successful player in history) at the score of 0-3 in a best of 9 game a few weeks ago. He later stated that "everyone who knows me will understand how much it bugs me when I get the feeling that I don't play the way I could. It was very painful for me and that's why I quit. I'm truly sorry for all the people who came here to see me" (or something along the lines).
This struggle has led to a serious alcohol addiction in the past, which he was able to overcome though. Following his career, you will find many of those moments when Ronnie was at his worst (Another example would be the uninspired and unmotivated 0-6 loss against Graeme Dott last year.). On the other hand, when he is at his best, you really feel that there's something unique going on. The video is one example. To someone who is not familiar with snooker, this might seem rather unspectacular, but again, try it yourself for once and I'm sure your opinion will change.

I'm not sure why I'm writing this, maybe it's just boredom, maybe it's to clear my head a bit (I need to finish a paper by tomorrow) or maybe it's just...well, I don't know ;).

2007-01-07T16:16:00.000-08:00

Explosions In The Sky - The Earth Is Not A Cold Dead Place

I think it was Maurice Ravel who once said: "The most powerful force on earth is the pianissimo". Ok, not everything on this album is pianissimo, not even piano, but those young fellows create the most powerful moments when it's silent, or almost silent. But before I get into that, I'd like to give you a brief introduction into a very special genre of music, which I fell in love with a few years ago: Post-Rock. I'm going to steal the description from wikipedia:

"The post-rock sound incorporates a wide variety of musical genres, such as ambient, jazz, electronica, experimental, and sometimes even rock. The post-rock approach to music, such as the emphasis on instrumental work and sonic texture, is similar to the earlier New Age movement, which came out of the modern folk tradition. Post-rock is characterized by repetition of musical motifs and subtle changes, with an extremely wide range of dynamics. Most often, post-rock songs are lengthy and instrumental, containing repetitive build-ups of timbre, dynamics and texture. Guitar timbres are usually smooth, often using delay and reverb. Harmonically, there is an emphasis on consonance, though by no means is there a definitive rule of thumb"

This description is pretty accurate. But Post-Rock has something in common with AIESEC: You need to experience it before you can fully understand it. And I couldn't think of a better album than this one to start this amazing journey into a universe full of the most beautiful melodies ever. Bands like "Godspeed You! Black Emperor" or "Sigur Rós" made the genre known among a broader audience, but this album, or this band, marks the ultimate Post-Rock-Experience in my opinion. These are 50mins of pure eternal bliss. Those guys create dynamics and melodies with such a density, it's really scary. This music could destroy entire planets.
To get back to the ravel quote. As I said, this is not a silent album. My interpretation of the quote goes that you don't need much to create something powerful. Many bands try to create huge walls of sound by using 5 guitar layers upon each other and support them by extensive use of keyboard soundscapes, doublebass, and electronic effects. But none of those bands could ever reach the point this band achives by playing one single note.

Go to: http://www.progarchives.com/Progressive_rock_discography_CD.asp?cd_id=8161
Scroll down to the streamplayer and listen to the first song. And I really hope for you that you will experience the same things as I did. But be careful, this music is not hit or miss, it needs to grow. So, listen to it several times, in different moods and with headphones. Sooner or later, it will hit you, it will hit you hard!

2006-12-11T16:05:00.000-08:00

Album of the week: Tom Waits - Orphans

Ah, what a great a day! 18 months after Nick Cave's triple cd issue with rarities, another one of my all time favs decided to do the same. "Orphans: Brawlers, Bawlers & Bastards" is a collection of 54 songs. Some of them were written for other artists, but now played by the master himself, some of them were recorded in a garage with his kids and others just didn't fit regular studio albums.

In all honesty, this is the best stuff I've heard in years. There is so much soul, life and authenticity in each of those songs. Some of them bring you close to tears, some make you wanna scream "Hell, YES", some are as weird as the stuff on his experimental 2004 album "Real Gone" and others just give you this warm, cosy feeling in your heart (true music lovers know what I'm talking about ;) ).

A mindblowing collection by one of the greatest contemporary artists!

2006-12-10T14:57:00.000-08:00

Al Gore's take on the media and the threats to democracy

I'm currently participating in a seminar called "Media System and Media Culture: USA". I've never been to the US and I've barely talked to people from the US about the issue, but from the things I've learned during the seminar until today, the US-media system is in a terrible state that endangers democracy at its core. Once again, Al Gore proved to be one of the brilliant minds of today. I know it's long, but I urge everyone to read the following paragraphs. If I ever doubted the need for media & communication studies, this essay showed me that there is one. I'm really interested in other people's opinion on the issue, especially those people that are more familiar with the US media system.

http://www.tpmcafe.com/story/2005/10/5/14301/6133

2006-12-10T08:36:00.000-08:00

A kick in the ass of the free press!

2 months ago, a district judge prohibited by injunction the dissemination of the newest issue of "Beobachter", a highly acclaimed monthly magazine that reveals unfair business practices and serves as a consumer advocacy.

The reason: a well investigated articel that accused two constructers of unfair business practices and lousy work. Well, this district judge obviously values the reputation of these two guys higher than the freedom of press and a well informed public sphere.

All hail the banana republic!

2006-12-09T07:44:00.000-08:00

Here we go: Hey everyone!

Ever since I joined my first online-community seven years ago, I was fascinated by the internet's ability to bring people together by breaking the limitations of time, space and phyisical appearance. That was actually one of, if not THE reason I started to study media & communication at University of Zurich three years ago. I started to read more and more blogs on a regular basis (especially since I joined AIESEC ;) ) and even wrote a paper about blogs and how they effect traditional journalism. But, it took me more than half a decade to actually start my own. Looking back, I don't really know why it took me so long...;).

One of my passions is music. I think the reason for that is something that happend when I was 4 years old. I took one of parents vinyl-LPs (an album by italian singer Gianna Nannini), took a bite and swollowed it ;). No, seriously, ever since I saw "les miserables" (french musical) the first time when I was a young child, I'm addicted to music. Even though, back then, I had no clue what was going on on stage, I was enchanted by the melodies and the magic of the performace. Another "key event" was the first time I heard Mark Knopfler (singer/songwriter/guitarist of Dire Straits) playing guitar:

"I want to sound like this guy!!". That was almost 13 years ago and I've been playing acoustic and electric guitar ever since.

Nowadys, I more into the avantgarde side of music, I really dig experimental jazz, -rock, -metal and I'm getting more and more into electro and modern classic. I've also written ~50 reviews for albums but most of them were thrown into the digital nirvana. So, if you want to challange your world view in terms of music, approach me and I'm sure that I will find something you've never heard before ;)

So much for today...I really need to go back to work now ;)

Cheers