Emily's Little World

Tutorial: Easy Covered Bulletin Board

2010-03-20T23:22:00.000-05:00

Wowza, this tutorial has been in my to-do list for far too long…. And while it takes very little time to actually make the thing and take the photos, there’s all this work with getting the pics ready for the blog, and then the actual explaining, etc…. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I’m a SLACKER, but I’m finally repenting today.

Tutorial time! :)

I wanted to make a covered bulletin board for my friend for Christmas… I’d heard of them, seen them… but when it came time to actually MAKE one, I looked for some help online and didn’t find EXACTLY what I was looking for… So I made it up as I went along. And I kept the process SUPER simple. Here ya go:

EASY COVERED BULLETIN BOARD

Materials:

cork tiles

(from your craft store. I chose medium thickness. You could go with the thickest ones, but don’t do the paper-thin ones)

Heavyweight fabric

Staple gun/Staples

heavyweight paper, 12x12”

FOR COVERED THUMBTACKS:

“Buttons to Cover”- Wedding Gown Size (size 20, 1/2")

Standard metal thumbtacks

midweight fabric scraps

glue

STEPS:

1. Begin with your cork tiles. I used two, and didn’t do anything to stick them together, since the fabric, etc., will hold them together eventually. You could be more thorough and glue them together, I suppose.

2. Cut a square of fabric about 2-3 inches bigger on all sides. (Noah wanted to demonstrate this step for you.)

3. Get your staple gun ready…

4. Start stapling two opposite sites. For the first side, staple it three or four time carefully and evenly. Then take the opposite side and pull the middle taut—as taut as you can without causing the cork to bend. Staple one staple in the center to hold this. Then tug the fabric a couple of inches on the side of the center staple and when it is taut and even, staple it. Do this again on the other side of the center staple. Then finish that side the same way. The goal is to have the fabric super taut and held down on both sides.

5. After securing two opposite sides, you’ll begin securing one of the remaining sides. I wrapped the side like a gift, trying to keep it tidy and even, and then stapled it, starting with corners first, and always pulling it taut. It kinda gets tricky and would be great if I had an extra hand at this point, but it worked okay. In fact, it occurs to me you could use some straight pins to help you a bit—though they wouldn’t hold it as tautly as your hand would. It could help.

6. A step-by-step photo detail of how I did the corners:

7. Fabric all in place, stapled. Raw back.

8. Take a sheet of heavy scrapbooking paper—cardstock or a fun pattern…

9. Trim it down so it covers all the cork, but isn’t all the way to the edges, and staple it neatly down. This is the back, and it is almost done. Not shown is the toothed picture hanger I used small nails to hammer into the back. You can devise any hanging method you want--- double stick tape, small nails with wire, etc. etc. I have no advice. Be creative.

10. And the finished product: Ta da!! :)

And those fabric-covered thumbtacks? Made those too… SUPER cute, SUPER easy. I got the idea from the “How About Orange” Blog a long time ago, and kept procrastinating doing them, thinking they would take some time to figure out.

Guess what?

No time at ALL to figure it out. EASY. Insanely easy. Check out their tutorial, I BEG you. You NEED to make these!:

How About Orange...

Last but not least, Noah, who was stitched to my side nearly the entire time I did this project, wanted to mug for the camera real quick:

So… Go forth and make a bulletin board! :) SO easy, and with all the fabric in the world, your possibilities are endless. You could make four of them in different fabrics and hang them together on a kids’ room wall. You could hang a set of them in a row above your desk to brighten up your work space. You could make a bulletin board and matching apron for the kitchen. CUTE CUTE CUTE. Do it!! :) Then come back and tell me in the comments and link to a photo so I can see yours…

Anyhoo… It took all day to get this thing written, between all the other things I did today, but ta-da! Tutorial done!

Happy Sunday tomorrow!

Baby Lia {St. Louis Newborn Photographer}

2010-03-17T23:23:00.000-05:00

No more words tonight... Just images of this sweet, full-blonde-headed squishy baby. Enjoy!

(okay-- one more sentence: Anyone see the secret guest in that second-to-last photo? See her? Cracks me up EVERY TIME. Their puppy was SO attentive and concerned and present for our session. Sweet dog. :))

Change. Reflection. Mystery. Faith.

2010-03-17T22:34:00.002-05:00

{self-portrait session: January 2010}

March already. Really?

That means our brief sojourn in this small, cozy, wonderful white house is half done already... And I have never posted images showing you around. I will do that tomorrow. I'll make it an assignment.

Tomorrow is a Work Day for me. I am not sure I've actually mentioned this system on here--- this Work Day. Back last August, I was at the end of my rope with being busy busy busy as a full-time mama and more-than-part-time photographer. I could NOT get it all done. And a wise, loving, SMART cookie of a friend made me understand that getting some REAL HELP, one day a week, was NOT compromising my commitment and passion for being a full-time mom.

It was an epiphany. If I took ONE day out of my week to get some babysitting for Noah, I was still with him all the time the other six days of the week. That still counts as FULL-TIME, truly.

(and I am not at all in any way, disparaging mamas who DO work outside the home or who have childcare for their little ones several days a week. I am just trying so hard to align my life to what *I* need, and what works for *ME* and my little family. )

So. I raised the white flag. Hollered Uncle. And found a dear friend to watch my kiddo one day a week. From 8:30-4:30. All day.

I drop him off, then come home and sit at my computer and work frantically for 7 hours straight, not even breaking for lunch most times. This work day is for all the business stuff that never gets done when I am editing nonstop. It is the day for working on marketing. For placing orders. For packaging and mailing orders. For emailing clients back. For working on the books. Getting finances back in line. And though it is never enough time, it is working. I am not as crazy as I used to be. Mostly.

And I am in this place in my life where I am trying, DAILY, to find a better balance. And trying to hold to the commitments I have made and the ideals I have set forth for my life. And some things have made all the difference, like this Work Day. Other things are a CONSTANT struggle for me... like daily spiritual growth. And through it all, I am ever reflecting, shifting little things, and trying to talk myself into keeping going, even when it gets so BIG and so MAD that all I want to do is sleep.

And I have pretty much just wanted to sleep a LOT recently. It's this transition from the slower winter... the permission we gave ourselves to settle into this little home and HEAL from the jarring, wild, unpleasant autumn of change and moving... The lazy days of coldness where there wasn't anything else to do BUT sleep and watch cartoons and build blanket nests...

And now, as it gets GORGEOUS outside and my sessions come slamming into full-force for the spring, I am COMPLETELY out of practice with the motivation thing. I am REALLY having a hard time getting my engine revved.

I took another 2-hour nap today, in fact.

And lest you tap your noses and say, "I bet she'd pregnant", let me reassure you--- No. No I'm not. Thought I was for a minute last month, and it was WONDERFUL to have an excuse for all the sleeping... But no. Nope. Not yet. Who knows? Not ever?

So now... I am stuck with the onslaught of a mad mad mad spring schedule, and I am NOT transitioning into it well. I keep letting the laundry/dishes/home cooked meals slide for just a little more "down time"...

And EEK. Who am I to even CLAIM to WANT more kids, if I can't run my household with just one underfoot??! I am such a child. A napping, sugar-eating child.

Haha. Grr.

And change. the word "change" is in the title here... Maybe I should mention some of it here. The only thing we can truly rely on in our life at the moment is that it will definitely, absolutely, completely change in just a few short months. We will leave this temporary house by July. We will need a new home, SOMEWHERE, by July.

Where?

Who knows.

Joe is awaiting his fate in the form of grad school acceptance/rejection letters. Schools that are mostly NOT in St. Louis. Will he get accepted? Will we leave Missouri? Will we be turned down? What will we do then? And other BIG questions: Will we get to have more babies? Will we be able to afford them? If we move, will there be clients in a new town? Will my photography be able to thrive elsewhere? Will Joe find a future he can feel joy and peace in?

Change. And IMMENSE MYSTERY. We have utterly NO CLUE about the future. At all. All we know, is that NOTHING will be the same. Home, job, money--- all will change.

And with that change, I am in the process of completely re-vamping my business... Changing my mission statement. Changing my system. Changing my goals. Change is absolutely on the horizon for Emily Southerland Photography. Lots of it. And I can't even really make more moves on that until I know where this business will be based out of. But rest assured, whether we stay in St. Louis or not, come July/August, there will be some major changes to the biz.

And through all of this, there is this compelling, agonizing, healing internal journey I have been trudging through, in the form of "The Artists" Way" book I've been working through. The course takes you through a LOT of self-analysis, a LOT of purging of old ideas, old hang-ups, and tries to get you to find more authenticity as a person. And while the day-to-day tasks are often easy to dismiss as not doing anything significant, now that I am seven weeks into the 12-week program, I have been astounded to see, from some distance, how much is shifting in me and in my life.

I thought I embarked on the program of "creative recovery" to understand myself and define myself better as an artist/photographer. But instead, the journey moved me somewhere else, and is trying so hard to train me how to be an artist/parent. I'm finding that the pull isn't to be a more outward, public, brilliant ARTIST, but to be a more introspective, introverted creative parent. Wife. Friend. Surprisingly, even as the book calls to its reader to allow SUCCESS to happen, I find myself willingly turning away from "success", as defined by the world, and turning more and more to myself for acceptance and strength. Turning more and more to my family for validation and joy. I keep finding myself being surprisingly OKAY with slowing down more and more and placing less and less importance on the world and what the world wants/think/expects.

In some ways, I wonder if my slower blogging is an accidental manifestation of this little surprise twist in my journey. I am writing three pages every day in my notebook... And so I have myself to talk to, and I am beginning to trust myself more. To not need to tell it all outside.

Anyway... this is all very rambling... But this is ME, these days. A strange combination of pensive, lazy, inspired, joyful, fearful, excited, tired... Hurt and fulfilled. Childlike and childish. Growing.... and changing. And it's weird to not have the old assumptions to fall back on, and I wonder if all this weird strange growth and change is partly to blame for being so tired all the time. They say a baby will sleep extra long when they've just learned a new skill--- lots for their brain to absorb and create synapses for. Maybe that's me right now--- the sleep is solidifying these paradigm shifts. And the changes are trying terribly hard to STICK.

Which brings me to faith.

All of this--- the waiting and uncertainty for our future, the changing of my business philosophy, the embracing a smaller, simpler, more family-centric life.... The changes in my attitude and my goals... All of it is taking IMMENSE faith.

And I am not nearly good enough at it. I do not call on my Lord NEARLY enough to ask Him to carry me. I pray.... sure... But most of the time, I try to only be grateful in my prayers, and I don't ask for help. I try to fake like I can manage all of this on my own. I got it. I can handle it. I'm cool.

But I'm not cool. I CAN'T handle all this. This is all HARD. And most of the time I feel like I am failing miserably. And so I need to learn how to have MORE faith-- and ask for more strength. And maybe most of all, I need to work on being better at forgiving myself for these failings. And asking for His forgiveness. And then trying to be ever more humble, pliable, and TRUSTING of what the future is bringing to us.

So...

Ha.

Hmph.

Lots of boring text in this here bloggy, eh?

And deep, and dense, and not even very relevant to anyone but me...

But it all was straining to get out, so I typed it. And I applaud anyone who got through it all. 'Cause there's not even an incredible moral or climax or resolution at then end to help you all go to bed happy tonight. It was just...... a mind dump. Something I'm kinda good at.

So.

That's me.

What about you?

*

I'm feeling sheepish, now, and I am going to go post a photo session post now to balance out all this word-stuff.

'Night.

12:30 am.... I'm All Off....

2010-03-17T00:31:00.002-05:00

12:30 am.... NOT TIRED. Last night I didn't get to bed until 3:00 am because I was pretending to be young at a loud rock concert... So then this morning when Noah woke me at 7:30am, I was bleary-eyed beyond belief, so I was grateful when my mom offered to play with Noah so I could go back to sleep for a couple of hours. I slept from 8:30-10:30am, and woke feeling good enough to drive back to STL with Noah.

We got home at 2:00 and I put Noah down for his nap by 2:30pm... And overcome again by exhaustion from the lack of sleep from the night before, I gave in to my own nap at 4:00... expecting that Noah would wake me in 30 minutes or so. Almost one and a half hours later, we both woke up--- Noah from a nearly 3 hour nap. Crazy.

Needless to say, it's been a strangely-paced day. And now, at 12:30am, I am not at all tired.

I am kinda feeling icky because of it--- and if I'm not careful, this might cycle into a few days of weird sleep... which is NOT awesome.

Anyhoo....

I am trying to get there-- to sleepiness. Writing out some of the random stuff in my brain always seems to help, hence this RANDOM bloggy...

Trying not to let my to-do list give me knots in my stomach, making it even harder to settle to sleep....

Hoping this poor body o' mine will let me force my eyes closed soon.

Meh.

Sorry for the boring post.

Max's First Birthday {St. Louis Children's Photographer}

2010-03-13T23:27:00.000-06:00

Another quick session share before I go to bed "early" (11:30 pm is early for me and since we jump ahead tomorrow, I need to be kinda responsible about getting enough sleep, I guess.)

*

This little guy came over on his first birthday and we played... first some cute argyle shots, then some family moments...and lastly, some CUPCAKES!

(My favorite of the session:)

And a yummy cake smash mess just wouldn't be complete without some "after" shots of the cleanup:

Happy birthday, little guy!!

*

Emma's Sweet Birthday {St. Louis Children;s Photography}

2010-03-11T23:44:00.001-06:00

A session share! I have some January/February sessions to share, and have just been trying to get on here to blog my OWN stuff first... craftiness, photos of Noah, epiphanies about life as I do this "Artist's Way" journey.... Yeah yeah yeah....

But weirdly enough, as I go through the Artist's Way and do morning pages and all that... I find that I am not as drawn to the usual patterns of my online life at the moment... I dunno. Weird. Getting all my venting out on paper instead of online. Ha!

So... Til I can get my act together and do something more PERSONAL, here is the first of several recent shoots I've done that I LOVED doing...

This is Anna and Emma--- a sweet pair of sisters who came out to play for Emma's birthday. We did some sister stuff first, then Grandma came to take the little one home and Mom, Emma and I stayed and played some more, making this a special day and a special session just for her.

Wait til you see some of the cool stuff we did.... I was IN HEAVEN this whole shoot--- mom chose darling outfits, the girls were DELIGHTFUL, and I got to play with some ideas I've had in my head for a while now...

First, the sisters:

Cute, right?! Anna, the younger one, is Noah's age, and it was so fun to see how different the little girls are form the rowdy little boys these days... :)

And how about this sunroom off of our temporary home?!? I was able to shoot all winter long because of it, and I LOVE it!!

*

After Anna left, Mom pulled out a basket of her grandmother's china and glassware and we got to work setting up.... wait for it......

Oh yes-- the perfect little girls' tea party. Seriously.

**SWOON!!**

I morphed the sunroom into a full tea party, while Emma's mom got out the family china and some of Emma's favorite stuffed critters. She also got to wear a special birthday tutu made just for this occasion.

I got the room all set up while Emma got dressed, and when she came into her tea party, it was TOTAL PLAY TIME... she didn't even notice a photographer was there. She just got down to the serious business of pouring lemonade for her animals and dishing up fruit loops and marshmallows.

I was utterly charmed... could NOT stop smiling.

It was PERFECT.

This is up there as one of my favorite sessions of all time. Everything was just so dreamy, so full of light, so sweet, so genuine... It made me want to be a little girl again myself, and I KNOW it made Emma's birthday incredible special for her... And for her mama, too, who helped plan the whole thing.

But then--- as if a personal tea party wasn't enough.... For the icing on the cake (literally) for this session, the three of us then headed to Jilly's Cupcake Bar for Emma's birthday cupcake:

From start to finish, a DREAM session. Cute girls, great mama, new ideas and satisfying results....

And a very creatively satisfied photographer here.

Thank you, Andrea, for bringing your girls to play for such an incredible afternoon. It was PERFECT.

♥

Has It Really Been Over a Week?!

2010-03-10T23:00:00.003-06:00

Oh my friends... I truly had every intention of blogging something with SUBSTANCE tonight. A tutorial, in fact...

But.

My computer is torturing me with a new, fun slowness that is designed to DRIVE ME COMPLETELY INSANE.

Oh, some things, the old, usual things, tend to work okay--- I can type here on this blog, for example.... I can listen to iTunes. I can do most everyday things.

But when I try something a bit too newfangled, like certain things in Lightroom, or trying to watch a DVD AND surf the web simultaneously, the entire thing freezes up. Many of my workflow tasks are FREEZING UP.

And has been getting worse and worse.

Is it just because it is getting old? (summer 2006)

Is it because I have too much stuff on the hard drive?

Is it because my husband plays World of Warcraft and clogs up the system with gaming cookies?

Is it because it's a sign from God to quit the computer world forever?

I am going to go have a good, cleansing cry, because I am at my wit's end. How can I WORK if I WAIT TWENTY MINUTES for EVERY TASK?

This is so stupid.

Will blog more happy stuff at a later time.

For now, I am going to try not to think about the disaster that we would face if we had to replace this thing: both financially, and with all the stupid programs and files and things we would need to dig out of our massive pile of packed possessions to re-install onto a new machine.

I feel sick.

And tired.

And angry.

Farewell, for now. Happier things ahead.

Pea of the Week

2010-03-01T10:42:00.003-06:00

I get to be the Pea of the Week at Two Peas in a Bucket this week! I am ridiculously tickled and flattered, and as you all know, MORE than happy to ramble on and on and on about my journey and such. LOL! Dang, I am SUCH a Self-Analysis/Quiz Taking/Survey Completing Junkie... This one just happens to be focused on the photography part of the journey.

If ya wanna read my interview, I'm throwing it on here as well... Warning-- I go on and on. As usual. Ha!

PEA OF THE WEEK:

1. Who are you? Please include self portrait and any links to other sites featuring you, like your blog, website, etc. Pimp yourself out!!

I am Emily Southerland, of St. Louis, Missouri. I'm a 32-year-old mom, wife, crafty girl, wannabe philosopher, big dork, lazy cookie eater, former English teacher, and semi-pro portrait photographer.
I love sewing little things, making art in various ways, playing the banjo, singing opera, taking naps, and going to movies in the theater. I am moody, generous of spirit, emotionally led, and 94% of the time, I LOVE my little life.

I've been blogging my randomness and pieces of my little life since August 2006, and love visitors to come join in the randomness at: www.emilys-little-world.blogspot.com . It is mostly my LIFE, but I integrated my professional photos into it a year ago and I kinda like the blend.

My website is www.emilysoutherland.com , and I just BARELY updated the galleries and information, so if you've been there before, now is a great time to come back and visit and see my recent stuff.

Facebook (sorely neglected!)

And I Twitter.

2. What inspired you to get into photography? And when?

I got my first camera at age 8 or 9: a Kodak 110 film thingy- the long skinny black camera. I took a ZILLION photos, mostly of the farm animals down the street from my house. And 6 out of 10 of the photos had a finger or thumb in the frame. An AUSPICIOUS start, for sure. Ha!
I got a bit more sophisticated with my photos in jr. high, when my mom let me play with her Minolta film SLR. I ended up taking some yearbook photos that year and shooting a LOT of rolls for fun. I dabbled in darkroom at this time, but never got the hang of it.

High school and college took me away from photography, until my last year as an undergrad. It was that year I met Kate Benson , a fellow waitress at Macaroni Grill in Provo, UT. We bonded, became nearly instant best friends, and she sucked me into her world of photography- her college major and the passion of her life. I'd go with her on shoots, sit with her in-studio as she'd complete her assignments for her degree, ask her a zillion questions... And finally, when I graduated, my mom and dad had heard enough about my growing excitement that they gifted me with the old Minolta SLR as my graduation gift.

From there... well... The rest is the REAL story. But I've gone on long enough, so I'll summarize: I shot a zillion rolls of film that summer, and every time I'd get a roll back, I'd go to Katie and she'd help me understand why things went well or how things could have been better. I found willing models, shot some more, and with Katie's mentoring and my tenacious desire to get better, I improved. Most of my PBing happened between 2001-2006 with my film camera. I switched to digital on a fluke, (another LONG, fascinating story wherein I willingly gave in to the cons of a "win a free camera" scheme and came out victorious with 20D in hand. Ha!)

From 2006-2008, I re-PB'ed, getting my "sea legs" with PS and digital things, and in March 2008, I went "official" with my business and...Here I am.

(um. Wow. That was long. I am only on question 2. I can tell I am going to have to be careful about being long-winded. I am SUCH an English major-writing type. Oops.)

3. What is your education? Degree? Self-taught? Workshops?

My degree+30 is in English and education, but I took enough art, music and history classes to have minored in any of them. Which I didn't. But anyway.
As for the photography, Katie Benson was my main teacher and mentor when it came to the basics--the exposure triangle, film types and speeds, cross-processing and black and white, etc.

The rest of it--composition, mood, style, etc. was mostly-self-taught. A couple of books were instrumental in guiding my path, including, "Expressions: Your Behind the Camera Guide to Taking Extraordinary Photos of Ordinary Life" by Donna Smylie and Allison Tyler Jones (link)
And "How To Photograph Your Baby" by Nick Kelsh (link)
(Recently rewritten for digital)

The Peas (and Google) have rounded out my self-taught education, and for that, I am deeply grateful to all of you!!
Workshops: Sandy Puc, and Amber Ludlow's online course back in 2007

4. What kind of photographer would you describe yourself as?

I am a people photographer for SURE. I look at landscapes and macros in awe and I am boggled as to how they get such magnificence through their lens.

I am a "pose them, then loosen them up so they come out to play within the pose" kind of photographer. I love EMOTION, specifically silly, happy, or laughing faces.

I am an urban photographer for sure! I get more inspired by a chipped red painted wall than by a waterfall.

I love babies and seniors the most, but I am also a kid/family/couples photographer.

I am no longer a wedding photographer, as of this month when I took the offering down off of my website.

In my dream world, I'd specialize even further and just do babies/seniors... maybe. I can't ever fully make up my mind, so...

5. What kind of equipment do you use? Not every piece you own, but your favorites or use most often.

I shoot with a Canon 50D and I use my 24-70L lens the most. I have my nifty fifty, and I still have a soft spot in my heart for it, but since getting the 24-70 in August last year, it's been too easy to keep on most of the time. I'd LOVE to branch out, but for now, that's it. My main arsenal.

6. What did/do you struggle with the most?

Color (darn calibrating stress and darn color casts and darn my untrusted eye)

Exposure (Used to blow highlights TOO MUCH, now I err on the "too dark" side WAY too much. Ugh)

Trusting myself (loving something until a CC says otherwise. Often, that CC is right. Sometimes, though, I have to listen, but then go back to MY voice and decide if it is still a "fit"for MY style.)

Believing in myself (I will go in confidence waves like CRAZY. Feel on top of the world and at the peak of my game, but then look at those exact same photos 2 months later and decide they were a crap waste of energy and I am SO FAR from my desired talent level... Lots of you know this about me and are SO loving and patient with my spirals. I always come back to happy, though. Really!)

Being patient with my progress. (We will never "get there". We will always be growing. ALWAYS. I will never be "THERE". I have to be patient with the journey.)

Staying an individual. (And then, sometimes I have to crop it/shoot it/edit it MY way and love it and say "neener neener" to the "rules" and that's that.)

7. What was your biggest "A-ha" moment? Can be something technical/camera-related, something personal as it relates to photography, or something you learned about yourself as a photographer.

I have a-ha moments all the time... I am entirely too self-analytical, lol! But the one that jumped to the front just now as I read the question is an experience that I am surprised my heart is prompting me to share. But... Thinking about it, it was one of the most PAINFUL lessons, and one I am still growing from.
It has to do with Artist Envy, and how at one point last year I let myself get out of control with one particular "frenemy". We both started our business at the same time, both grew similarly, but then she shot EXPONENTIALLY to popularity suddenly, and it ATE at me. I felt I was more talented!! I whined to my husband that I had taught her some of the FUNDAMENTALS of photography. How could SHE be getting more blog hits/more recognition/more yadda yadda yadda?? She became a bit oblivious to me, like I was a "little person" left in the dust, and that ate at me too. And... Ya know what?

After enough time, I HATED how it felt. I HATED the comparisons. I HATED the envy. I HATED the poison it created in my heart and soul and how it affected every corner of my life. I let it get out of control, and I HATED who I was becoming.

So I let go. In desperation, I googled "how to deal with artist envy" (no joke!) and found THIS article: http://christinekane.com/blog/jealousy-and-envy-how-to-deal-and-heal/

And it was EXACTLY what I needed to read to rigorously begin healing from the poison. It took a LONG time, but I am finally at a place where I can GENUINELY be happy for this old friend and her continuing success. I truly feel benevolence finally.

And again with the long-windedness, I guess what I can pass along to others now is---- life is too short and there are too many clients to go around to waste your energy, time, and passion on COMPARING and ENVYING and WEIGHING yourself against others. At some point, it becomes TOXIC and takes away from your art instead of fueling it. The article Shanna linked the other day had so many good things to say about this that resonated with me--My 25 Biggest Mistakes
Especially #14 and #25.

Be open. Be generous. And be forgiving. To yourself AND your frenemies.

8. Biggest lesson learned? Can be either about photography, the business, yourself, etc.

I just spent a painful, math-full ( ick ) half a day revising my 2009 sales tax issues because I thought I could do it all myself in the beginning, figuring it out as I went along. BIG MISTAKE. I could have saved myself a LOT of headache if I had gotten help from an accountant with the setup of my finances BEFORE beginning to keep records. I do NOT think in numbers, so I wish now I had had an accountant from day one, advising, revising, and steering me right. Even with the relatively small amount of money I make, it is worth it to me, 100-fold.

Other biggest lesson I am still learning: DON'T TAKE WORK THINGS PERSONALLY. It is not worth the energy and guilt and worry and assumptions and all the baggage that comes from it.

9. What's your greatest triumph or achievement? Could be just opening your own business, to awards, to a compliment.

Figuring out how gorgeous garage lighting is. LOL! I'd shoot in a garage EVERY SESSION for at least part of it if I could.

Also, booking up solid for Fall 2009 back in August and for Spring 2010 already this February. I am honored to have enough business to fill my 6-8 spots a month for months in advance, and still have people emailing for more. I am grateful for that loyalty and word-of-mouth from my incredible clients and friends.

10. What is one of the most important mistakes you made that served as a basis for your progression?

I had (and sometimes still have) a tendency to overshoot and shoot sloppy. I get into the moment and love the dialogue and connection with clients, and so I shoot shoot shoot, and STOP thinking and correcting and shifting little things before a shot. I stop COMPOSING a shot, pausing, then shooting.

Some of the BEST sessions I've had recently have been the ones where I forced myself to STOP and think about EVERY SHOT. To shoot less, and shoot better. To stop hiding behind the click-click-click and actually have some quiet before the next shot.
I am still learning this, but it is a KEY lesson for me. And when I get it right, I am EXPONENTIALLY happier with the photos I end up with. (And I have infinitely less PP'ing/sorting/editing work to do in the end.)

11. What is it about photography that makes your heart sing and your mind race with possibilities?

In my dream world, I would have time, money, and resources to set up sessions with props, furniture, details, and magic... Because the images in my head that make my heart race are tea parties in the deep of the woods, chandeliers in trees... rowboats in ponds... tufted velvet couches on beaches... canopied beds in fields...An elaborate "set" where I could maximize my "pose them, then let them get loose within that pose" philosophy.

And then, once a shoot would be all set up, I would wait.

And the models would wait.

And finally, when the light was PERFECT, I would shoot like mad and my heart would sing and I'd have the image in my head actually appearing on the back of my camera.

So.

To bring that dream back to a reality, I guess I would have to say that during a normal session, when everything combines in a perfect moment, and then the PERFECT light is there, I am filled with utter joy and I thrill to think I might just have caught that elusive "perfect" photograph. It's a constant quest.

12. Which do you like better - taking the photo or processing it? Why?

Taking it, for SURE. I'd shoot ALL DAY if I could never edit a photo again. I'd LOVE to be able to take a photo that is as rich and nuanced IN-CAMERA as I can get it in pp'ing.

13. What inspires you? Could be anything - other photographers, nature, art, music, people, etc.

Anthropologie: the catalogs, the items for sale, the in-house art displays... The smells, the fabrics...

The city: especially driving through the ghetto...which is sad, because I find amazing places to shoot, but would never take a client there for safety reasons.

Abandoned homes/buildings/peeling paint/old wallpaper/cracked windows/slanted light

Other photographers: especially THIS gal. And THIS gal's IDEAS, man. And THIS girl... And a zillion others.

14. What is something about you that we don't know? Could be something serious or silly- your choice.

I have five sisters and one brother. I am the second-oldest. I adore being part of a huge family. I will NOT be having seven of my own, but I'd LOVE to have four or even five kids of my own. It just makes Christmas louder and more fun.

15. Can you share with us your loved ones? Especially if they have been featured in your work?

my sweet baby kiddo Noah:

my sweet husband (photos by Kate)

My little family, bedhead and all:

my LARGE family:

My amazing parents:

16. Can you share your top tip/technique with us?

Garage light. I am not lying, people. So far, I have mostly only explored the flat, straight-on setup, kinda like this:

But it is consistent, pretty, and easy for non-pros to do and get lovely results. I LOVE it.

Evidence:

17. Who are you picking next and why?

Gulp. Can I pick 6? LOL! I want to learn so much from so many of you! I have LOVED this series!! But... Okay, in the end, I have to pick Shanna. For three reasons:

1. Her purity of color takes my breath away. Truly, Shanna, you can get some PURE whites. Love.
2. Her generosity and honesty with HHCC
3. And that one time (or several) on ILP when I inundated her with questions and let her see my terrible soft underbelly of insecurity, and she was still nice to me afterwards. LOL! Love you, Shanna!!

18. Please share some of your favorite works with us!!

(forgive me... I never was good at paring down...)

Thank you so much, Peas, for being part of my journey, and for letting me go on and on today. I am a big dork and I'm sure that cat's outta the bag by now.... If you made it to the end of this novel, thanks for sticking with me!!

++++++++++++++++++

And that's it, blog folks.... Now that I'm a BEEEEEG celebrity, I simply won't have time for you anymore. Farewell, goodbye.

Snort.

Just kidding. Back to reality-- I have laundry to do and I should probs take a shower.... I am simply not cut out for the fame thing if it means I have to look my best all the time. haha!

Happy first week of MARCH!!! Bring on the daffodils!!!

Hi...

2010-02-26T21:19:00.002-06:00

I was gonna blog, but time got away from me as I worked to get some sessions ready for the bloggy, and it is nearly 9:30 pm on a Friday night when my husband is actually HOME, so....

He gets me tonight.

Not you.

Sorry!

:)

On a positive note, I have gotten four sessions ready to blog and have so many favorites I can't wait to show you. Yayayayay!!

On another positive note, FEBRUARY IS ALMOST OVER! Wahooooooo!!

And in case I worried you with that last post....Let me reassure you I cannot see myself breaking free from my online world entirely. I just can't quit you, Internet.

But I HAVE enjoyed the less-frenzied NEED to be around.

And to get you excited for more blogs from moi, I have two tutorials in the wings and at least one possible giveaway coming up if I can get my act together. Fear not! I will not be boring forever!!

Anyhoo.

The couch, the quilt, and the snuggly husband call.... Off I go!

Invoking Amber Ludlow

2010-02-22T00:45:00.002-06:00

Amber was a photographer I looked up to when I first started the digital leg of my journey.... Someone I admired, followed on her blog, and even took an online class from in early 2007. She was one of the front runners of the digital photography moms-can-do-it-too-and-be-GREAT revolution. A style like Tara Whitney, some fresh Photoshop techniques, and a truly down-to-earth personality.

And one day, in October 2007, she disappeared.

At least, from the internet universe, she was GONE, baby, GONE.

No more blog posts.

No more Flickr photos.

No more.

And for a few months, I waited. People get busy. People get overwhelmed. She'd be back. Others always came back.

So I'd check her blog.

And again.

And again.

And nothing.

Gone.

Over the years, I've formed a kind of overzealous worry about her. Like, WHERE DID SHE GO? WHY? What if there was a terrible, life-changing tragedy in her life? What if her world had completely fallen apart?

And then, I began to wonder--- what if she just...... CHOSE to disappear?

To leave the internet?

To live her life away from the strange, teetering, false-true world of blog adoration, rabid fans, semi-snarky MWACS and ProWACS and misguided quests for validation and flighty, undulating relationships and false faces and temporary pride and wishes and yearning and asking for the world to read and look and love...

What if she CHOSE TO LEAVE?

And is, instead, living a happy, rich, REAL life without the call of the cyberuniverse of photography/art/mothering/opinionating that seeks to be seen/heard/understood?

I learned recently that she has, since 2007, had two more children added to her oldest two.

Clearly, she is living a REAL life, full of carpools, diapers, and FAMILY. Clearly, there is NO TRAGEDY. Her family, her love, her new babies.... She has filled 2007-2010 with REAL LIFE.

Maybe she has eased off photography. I could see how that might take a back seat to the full house she has now.

Maybe she burned out.

Maybe she stopped and saw that we photographers all shoot to be SEEN, and if we're not careful, we begin to reach out for too much from others, and stop understanding what we can offer ourselves. We begin craving validation, praise, accolades...

And we lose a bit of our soul.

And a life lived too much online is time not spent with the little ones in our REAL life. With the lovers we share the home with.

Today, Noah woke from his nap a little fussy... cranky from his drowsiness. He clung to me and wanted me to hold hold hold him. So I held him... curled into my chest, his blanket and lamby sandwiched between my heart and his. And he pleaded, "Hon-gry? HON-gry?" We moved into the kitchen, slowly, gently, with many a kiss from my lips to his hair, and we sat on the old farmhouse stool next to the bowl of clementines. And I started ever-so-slowly to peel... then thought I'd let him learn this experience for himself. So I'd peel a piece a bit, then let him finish. We'd smell the ripe, tart smell of the clementine flesh under the peel, and then we'd peel some more.. a team. Slow. Not hurried. Him still clinging to me in a full hug. It was slow, and tedious, but in the best possible way. And when the fruit was fully peeled, I showed him the "belly button" and we poked and pulled the clementine apart. Segmented it. Ate each piece one at a time.

And then....

We ate another one the exact same way.

And then again a third time.

I was fully present.

I was not thinking about emails. Blogs. Money. Fame. Success. Popularity.

I was experiencing a clementine and a hug with my little love.

And so....Sunday is the end of my Wordless Week. I finally get to pop back on Facebook. Twitter. Message boards. And yet..... I can't quite explain why I have yet to actually write something on any of those sites. My online "homes"...
Except....

Part of me is fascinated with Amber Ludlow.

Why did she leave?

How did she do it? TRULY sever all ties?

Is she happier?

Life richer?

More PRESENT?

What if....

Wordless Week #5:

2010-02-21T23:30:00.000-06:00

Wordless Week #4:

2010-02-19T23:11:00.002-06:00

Wordless Week #3:

2010-02-19T00:33:00.000-06:00

Wordless Week #2:

2010-02-18T00:02:00.001-06:00

Wordless Week #1:

2010-02-16T20:56:00.001-06:00

A Photograph and a Poem

2010-02-14T08:00:00.000-06:00

Marriage Turns to Math and Back

How will you love better
After a long engagement?
By what equation
Of friends of flowers
You add to tables
Are you able to make
A marriage work? Hours
Planning:
The perfect wedding,
But years until
The question's answered.

And how will you love better
The one who loved you first?
How will you tally two
But equal one?--
As calculations
Prove inferior
Against the heart's
Interior, one forgets
The error of its
Long division.

Tell me:
How will you love better?
How will life change
When what you arrange
To live for is someone else?

Tell me:
How will you love better
When what love betters
Can't help but equal itself?

~ Kyle Little

{Happy Valentine's Day to my love, my Joe...
And thank you Kyle, for letting me share your incredible poetry today... it still makes my heart sing.}

Young Cupid, You Have My Heart...

2010-02-12T13:51:00.002-06:00

Noah,

You are my sweet love, my little Valentine. Thank you for just being you--- spunky, stubborn, sweet, beloved you...

Love,

mama

Grrrrr! The Hungry Valentine's Monster

2010-02-11T14:35:00.002-06:00

Got this cute little idea from my photographer friend Heather Bauers...(she doesn't have her on her blog just yet, but still go check her out. She is vibrant and has an infectious spirit...)

So with the help of Grandma V. during her visit here, Noah and I made our own Valentine Monster using a tissue box and scraps of paper and doodads we had lying around.... Check him out!

And while, in theory, this would be used to collect his various Valentines from his pals, he's not in preschool or daycare or anything where he'll even be GETTING any Valentines this year... So this monster is more of a figurehead of the holiday rather than a useful thing. But I still love it. :)

I have some new photos of Noah to share tomorrow as my last Valentine's post this year.... he surprised me by willingly letting me shoot him the other day when I had another friend's baby in the "hot seat"... Turns out, Noah is a jealous model, and will pose READILY if I am dangling the carrot in front of ANOTHER kid that isn't him. Hm... might have to plot that scenario in the future when I want Noah photos.

Anyway... Look for them tomorrow... and then Noah and I are packing up and heading to Indiana for the weekend. We have a Peas Photography Workshop on Saturday (THANK YOU Jeannette for organizing!!!) and a good little visit with two of my sisters the rest of the weekend... But we're going sans Joe, and I am a little nervous about being the single mama the whole trip... EEP!

But I still have 24 hours to procrastinate worrying.

so I'm off to go distract myself. :)

Felt Valentine's Wreath: Swoon!

2010-02-10T13:25:00.002-06:00

Finished last night...
Copied from my friend Andi, who hasn't blogged hers yet.
Less than $12 to make.
Lush, rich, texture-y felt for miles...

Valentine's Day is here early in our house.

♥

(Ohmigosh, just googled "felt wreath" to see if I could send y'all to a tutorial or six... and what a mistake!! I might be folding felt til I die, now, with all these gorgeous takes on this technique!!! AAACK!!

Like HERE, for a wintery version.
Or THIS????? LOVE it more than life.
HERE'S the original I think Andi found.
THIS?? Not the same technique, but still felt. I WANT THIS.
THIS? Now I'm just getting off on a tangent...

I gotta stop...

Ha ha!! Now go make your own!!)

Winter Outing

2010-02-07T00:18:00.003-06:00

Headed out today with my little man to enjoy the sun and the tiny bit of snow... And he requested a snowman.

A VERY tiny snowman. But it was his first EVER, so I had to document it. :)

And you see that? A promise... that seasons change. Literally. Figuratively. Metaphorically... What have you.

And I am loving that image right now.

What's in YOUR Wallet?

2010-02-04T15:57:00.003-06:00

Just for fun... Inspired by THIS post from a fellow Pea.... (scroll to the bottom of the post. Her stuff is much hipper.)

My Purse, 1.16.10:

Itemized Contents (not alphabetical. Sorry Gen.):
Noah's sippy cup of water
hand sanitizer
wristlet made by Sarah MHB
Trident gum
cell phone
blueberry candies from Trader Joe's
Noah's plastic pirate
weekly/monthly planner
altered tin holding my business cards, made by Anna
aqua wallet
Hancock Fabrics weekly mailer
2 random photos from my senior year of H.S. (??)
Noah's used tissues
new tissues
fabric tissue holder made by Lindsey
small notebook of to-dos and thoughts and lists
iTouch
one of Noah's bibs
pencil case from old diaper bag
Noah's plastic glow bracelet
Noah's wooden dump truck
red polka dot coupon organizer made by Lynsay
Noah's fruit snacks
keys
2 pens
shopping list
note from accountant
2 receipts
baggie with unused wet wipes
paper insert from Playmobil toy

And just because my front entry where I took the pic didn't have enough room to REALLY dissect my purse all at once, I took this little project a bit further and looked inside the items that had more to show.

First, Anna's tin, where I keep my business cards:

Next, Sarah's wristlet, which I take EVERYWHERE and love that I can take it out of the bigger purse and have autonomous use of it. My ID, CCs, and chapstick are the key items here. The change and receipts are side effects of taking this EVERYWHERE.

Lyn's red coupon organizer, where I write my shopping lists, and where I keep my business notes and receipts, and where a few other miscellany has snuck in:

My pencil case, commandeered from my old diaper bag to be used like Sarah's wristlet, but which never fully functioned as well. Now I use it to hold crayons and markers for Noah, and where I keep my personal receipts when I remember to sift them out of the wristlet. Tithing slips, too.

And the aqua wallet. Though stripped of my ID and main CCs, I still keep a TON of stuff in here, so it still has use to me....And yes, that's a Hot Topic frequent shopper card. What? You didn't see me hangin' out in the Goth Shop? Ha!
Lots of other randomness in here... Kinda fun to see it all in one place!

So there. Secrets revealed. Minutia raised to the level of art. Or something. Anything shown here make you laugh? Surprise you? Make you smile? I'd love to know!

Now what's in YOUR wallet? (said with a Nordic accent like the commercials.)

Anyone else wanna play? No editing out the dirty tissues or too-many receipts to Target. Show me the good, bad, and ugly of your purse RIGHT NOW. :)

(except maybe blur out your important info... That could be bad. Mine's all cloned out to be safe...)

2 A.M. : Is Today's Epiphany A Wise One??

2010-01-28T01:51:00.002-06:00

Writing "morning pages" in an effort to proceed with my "Artist's Way" goal... Three longhand pages every morning, with no real "POINT", just a mind blurt to get things flowing, mind de-gunked, all that.... And while most of the time my morning pages end up being either a laundry list of whines or a cataloguing of my things needed to get done that day, sometimes there are real epiphanies that appear in the middle of the messy piles of handwriting (SO messy, since these days I have to "morning page" with Noah around, so I RACE to get them written before he really needs me. The little needy cute irritating lovable stinker.)

Today's epiphany--- that the massive things on my to-do list that cause me the most angst and anger are my personal photo albums/photo books... Well, that part isn't the epiphany. I've know about this stressful task since forever, and it WEIGHS on me. So much so that I finally committed, hardcore, to get them DONE this winter, while business is slow.

And here it is, January 27th, and have I touched them?

Um, no.

Of course not.

Easy to keep finding OTHER things to do instead. Worthy things. GOOD things. But not THIS thing. The task of completing the sorting, purging and cataloguing of my personal photos so I can insert them into the coffee table books I have planned.

And it is like I am dragging around an extra 20 pounds of psychic WEIGHT because of it.

So today's epiphany.... what if I just PUSH??? Push push push and schedule this task with some hardcore deadlines and even some hardcore all-nighters? If I can get a GOOD stretch of time, I can really DO this thing. But as a mama, there is no such thing as a GOOD stretch of time...

Except in the middle of the night.

Hm.

What if I pulled a few all-nighters to REALLY get ahead?

(are you with me? Have you seen I am writing this at 1:57 am??)

Lucky for me, Joe's schedule this semester is really great in the mornings. His earliest class is 11:00 am, so if I could get him on board with my harebrained scheme, he could cover for me in the mornings after these work binges and we'd ALL win. I'd knock these horrible things off of a THREE-YEAR-LONG TO-DO LIST and he'd get a photo album to enjoy and we'd both get sleep... just at incongruous times.

And.... so it is 1:59 am.

And 2006 is DONE except the "hit send" button. Now, before you congratulate me too much, 2006 was 75% done, and has been 75% done for, oh, three years. It just needed to be FINALIZED. So this didn't take an ALL-nighter, just a REALLY LATE-nighter.

The next three years are going to be......... PAINFUL.

I just take too damn many photos.

*sigh*

Anyway.... the point is... the epiphany today felt REALLY sound. Good. Exciting. Like I could PUSH through these blocks and GET THESE THINGS DONE, and then maybe be better about keeping up on them over the years from now on.

But it is now 2:01 am and I'm wondering.....

Was that epiphany a wise one?

am I out of my mind?

Or am I reclaiming a piece of my mind by clearing this out and getting it done?

I'm off to bed. I'll maybe have a better idea in the morning. When I am tired, dragging, but DONE with 2006.

Ah, who knows.

sorry for the boring blog post.

I have two really fun ones up my sleeve and hovering in Lightroom, waiting to be edited. One is a tutorial and one is a Bare-it-All you'll love and maybe even want to go try for yourselves...

But they're not here, not now. Still need to be finished and posted.

So you get a crazy lady rambling session at 2:03 am.

And that is all.

Time to spell check and publish and GO TO BED.

(and boy oh BOY do I need spell check. I type like a true blue FOOL, I do.)

(Turns out "nighter" is not a real word. And I used it 4 times. Well, 5 now. neener, neener, I'm keeping it in. It serves my purposes.)

Night-Night! :)

(2:08 am). Done. For real.

Holiday Mini Session {St. Louis Children's Photographer}

2010-01-24T22:24:00.000-06:00

Last post of 2009! Yahoo! These were one of the last sessions I did last year--- my Holiday MiniSessions. I had the cutest kids turn out in their wintry/Christmassy best for a few shots their moms and dads could have in tiem for Christmas cards and Grandparent gifts.

We got to try out my new sunroom and my classy little backdrop setup with the fake presents (Noah tried to open them. Ha! Poor kid. Nothing but books in them, for weight.)

Anjd I got to flirt with, cajole, shake candy at, and play with kids from 1 month old to 2 years old. I loved it! Check some of my favorites out:

And that, my friends, wraps up 2009.

And though I have a few 2010 sessions to share, I am reveling in being mostly a NON-photographer for the moment... letting the other sides of my self come out a bit and have some time in the sun. It's a good time to regroup as an artist in general, and find some new inspirations, choose some different outlets of expression.... to refill the well and recharge the soul.

And it's funny, but in the midst of this season of less-busy work, I sometimes even feel like never taking another photograph again.

Did I just say that?

Yeah. I guess I did. Sometimes I want to just remind myself and other folks that I am not a photographer ONLY.... And sometimes I want to stop. And go play my banjo. Or write.

Or, who am I kidding, go take a nap...

Ha! anyway. This semi-hiatus is trickling through my fingers quicker than I'd like, and I am desperately trying to live it to the fullest-- checking things off the non-work to-do list, making little things, reading a few novels, taking a few more naps... And I have to keep the panic at bay... the panic that I am running out of TIME.

'Cause March-June is almost completely booked. **GULP** With two weddings, trips to Portland/Wisconsin/Massachusetts/Nashville/Indianapolis, and three workshops thrown in. EEP!

And it will begin again, in full force--- that photographer side of my life.

Ack.

am I ready?

No.

But it's okay. I still have a month.

So I need to GET OFF THIS COMPUTER and go watch some Netflix with my hubs, I say.

'Night!

Hunter's Family {St. Louis Family Children's Photographer}

2010-01-24T22:10:00.000-06:00

Have I mentioned I am officially shooting only RAW? No more JPEG, and man it was a long, hard journey to get here... Mostly by way of convincing myself it was worth it to switch and endure the learning curve and frustrations of figuring it out in the midst of a busy editing season.

But now that I am here, I am SO happy, and never turning back.

Anyway... that seemed off-topic... But it really is relevant because this was one of the first sessions I shot in full RAW... And I am SO happy with the increase in clarity/purity of color. (Not to confuse anyone, but this was the first I shot in full RAW, but it isn't the first post I've done of full RAW photos. You purists will hate me, but I haven't been posting these sessions in order. Hee hee. Sorry. I just post what strikes me that moment, so lots of these are out of order... It might be a fun game to go back and see if you can tell what sessions are RAW and what weren't. Hm. )

Oh man, I went off on a tangent again. Back to Hunter's family. I LOVE these three. This is the third session I've had with them this year, and it is SO cool to see Hunter grow and to catch up with his mom Michele. They are truly a neat family. For this session, Hunter was 18 months and WHEW he ran my tail off!! Anytime he saw me coming with the camera, he turned tail and ran the other way. But his parents were patient, and I used a few tricks, and we ended up with some keepers. It was a fun chase in the meantime!

Thanks, Michele and Co., for trusting me with your photos not once, but three times this year. I cherish your loyalty and appreciation for my work!

The T Family {St. Louis Family Photographer}

2010-01-24T21:59:00.000-06:00

A few more sessions to wrap up my 2009 year.... I am SO sorry this is dragged out so far past December 31!!

This is an old high school chum... a fellow musician and theater gal from my illustrious days at Hickman High. Beth was perennially upbeat and incredibly smart and talented. Now, she is a music teacher with two beautiful kids and the kindest, sweetest husband ever. It was a pure delight to spend the afternoon with her feisty gorgeous kids and the two of them in Jefferson City, MO. (Governor's Mansion and the Train Station, if anyone is near there and wants some locations to shoot at!)

Thank you, Elizabeth, for our session time together! I LOVE these!