Second Chance

Blessings to God

2009-06-20T15:31:00.001+02:00

I have passed the tests with flying colours. At this stage the cancer is stable, meaning that the tumours have not grown in the passed two months without my chemotherapy. My energy levels are improving and the colour in my face is starting to look normal again. I have even lost a few kilo’s now that I am not taking the cortisone.

Next CT scan is in 8 weeks time

May 2009

2009-05-25T08:11:00.000+02:00

The past weeks have just flown past. Three weeks ago I went overseas for company business and also spent Mothers Day with my Mom in Holland. What a nice day to spend with your Mom. I am now off all medication for a whole week and am waiting to wake up with my body feeling full of energy. The energy side of life has been lacking as I feel constantly tired. Really frustrating, but then with the first round of chemo it did take nearly 6 months to recover, so this time will probably be no different. Everybody who sees me tells me that I am looking really good – the blue circles under my eyes are less and my skin has a healthy glow. And as always, there is nothing lacking with my appetite for good food. Last Sunday Ian and the boys got me a little kitten, so we are now the proud owners of a very busy cat where everything that moves is a toy. The dogs are really good with her and even old Amy (8 year old German shepherd) gently paws her. Today is Dylan’s 18th birthday – how time does fly when you look at the children growing up. My next tumour market and CT scan is planned for 18 June. So, all going well in the Riddell home.

2009 April 27

2009-04-27T10:55:00.001+02:00

Last Thursday was an early morning start getting all the barium sulphate down my throat by 9H30 and before that I had to have my blood drawn and ECG done. Then the CT scan which has shown that the lesions are still the same size as a month ago. For the last two weeks I have been battling with a cold and a really bad cough so opted to give this last chemo round a miss. The sister at the chemo rooms said that I will feel really shitty after the chemo with my body already trying to fight the cold virus. I suppose my subconscious already had made the decision three weeks ago when I asked Dr J whether that session should not be my last chemo round. So besides the nagging cough I am looking forward to feeling normal again. I cannot begin to explain what it feels like to have normal energy levels – you feel like a new person who is alive for the first time where every morning is a lovely happy beautiful new day.

2nd last round Patupilone

2009-04-05T14:02:00.001+02:00

The scan of just over a week ago showed that the lesions have decreased by 1mm. Not much and in discussion with Dr J last Thursday he said that he did not think the lesions would get any smaller as they are basically as small as a normal lymph gland is and we are dealing with scar tissue. So the medical opinion is that the lesions seem to be just scar tissue and all we are dealing with now is microscopic cancer. Meaning the medical doctors actually don’t know where the little cancer cells are hiding away. Based on this I have made the decision to have only one more round of Patipulone on 23 April. This is the same day that the clinical trials unit are planning for me to have CT Scans and tumour markers too. So, it is a good day to end it all – Have everything done on one day… It is going to be a marathon day!!! The last chemo round has left me feeling really fatigued and not too nauseas. Lots of rest has been the order of the day. We will see what the future holds as I remain under the watchful eye of the clinical trial.

Post chemo nausea

2009-03-23T14:06:00.000+02:00

The past week has been a tough one. I have not been so nauseous in months and the headache was just unbelievable. Last Monday I left work a bit earlier due to feeling really bad. I had an afternoon nap and a tiny bit of dinner. I had also been having a huge pain in the right jaw which by Monday evening has developed into an acute pain with my jaw pulling (pushing) toward the left misaligning my bottom jaw by about 2-3 centimeters. My tongue was numb and my mouth completely skew. By 8pm I was ready to go to emergency rooms at the hospital and we were all really worried that I had had a stroke. The hospital staff was really great and I was assisted promptly in the ER. I had brought all my medication with me so the Doc could see what I had been taking for the nausea. She recognized with cause of my distress immediately…. I was suffering from side effects of my one nausea medication! Thank God this was the cause of my anguish!! A needle was inserted into my veins and some antidote was administered (in my distressed state I did not even ask what the medication was but presume it was cortisone). And guess what, the side effects of the antidote also affect me…. I had the biggest rush I had ever experienced! Everything was zooming around me and I was being really loving to Ian - I don’t think he has ever seen me so placid, grateful and caring….. I remained in hospital for about 2 hours waiting for the majority of the side effects to wear off and then stumbled back to our car – I just could not control my feet! Came home and went to bed only to find that I was on such a high that sleep eluded me – my sleeping tablet and a glass of milk with black pepper did nothing. Tuesday was more of the nausea, headache and fatigue…. All of which finally settled on Sunday. It is almost as though my body is saying it has had enough of all the medication!

6th round patupilone

2009-03-16T08:20:00.000+02:00

My goodness, has it been six rounds already, I am sure you are saying. Well, for everybody who is not going through the process every 21 days, the time does fly, but for me, I am very aware of what occurs every 21 days. The last chemo round went ok, as per all the previous sessions. I am feeling loads of fatigue and quite some nausea – Spent most of yesterday in the horizontal position. Last Thursday I had a good chat to Dr J regarding where this drug is leading me. In essence, Patupilone is keeping a lid of the cancer growth, meaning it is not spreading but is it also not going away. At each CT scan the protocol is that a CA125 test is also done. The test done end February shows the CA125 going up from 7 to 17…. The dreaded increase of over 100 percent, so the next CT scan and CA125 is scheduled for 26 March

4 months of treatment – CT Scan

2009-02-28T14:33:00.000+02:00

Thursday I had my two monthly CT scan. The same procedure where I first need to have blood drawn for my OV125 tumour marker and need to consume nearly one litre of barium sulphate – this stuff blows you up like something else – I am surprised that I am not floating yet! Directly after the scan I headed off to work and waited patiently for the doctors to phone with the results. I received the phone call around noon on Friday. The tumours are reduced in size again – the good news! I then asked the Doc how long I still need to remain on Patupilone? Surely this will only be for another few rounds and then I can get on with my normal life again. The reply was that I would need to continue indefinitely to keep the cancer at bay. The Docs are saying that it is my call when I discontinue with the treatment. At the time of the phone call I asked lots of question, but with the passage of time I have more questions now. I need to ask them why they say this – is this due to possible legal action should they recommend to discontinue treatment and then the cancer grow again? Or does the drug only target the tumour but not all the microscopic cells that are swimming around? My logic says that at a certain point I should be stopping the chemo. Or are the new chemo drugs being developed similar to chronic medicines like for high blood pressure – where they treat the symptom but do not address the cause. Is this because medically they don’t know what the cause it either?? I will continue to make a list of all my questions and asked them when I next see the Docs face to face, 12 March. For now, we continue for another two months (3 rounds of chemo) and then reassess with the CT scans end April.

5th round.... Patupilone

2009-02-18T20:41:00.002+02:00

All systems go.... I am getting chemo tomorrow and had my blood test, etc today. I cannot begin to explain how happy I was when I received the call that chemo was on - I was really starting to get worried on a very different level - What if the programme gets stopped... Where do I stand then medically... and healthwise... and I know that the trial will get stopped at some stage... another reality I will have to face in the months to come.

Wed 11 Feb Comes and Goes

2009-02-12T15:37:00.000+02:00

Well, I am still waiting for chemo and the frustration levels are rising!!! I am struggling to maintain a calm placid outlook on life!! For goodness sake… I am only human!!

On Monday I received news that the drug had only be shipped out the previous Friday so all going well I would receive chemo Wed 11th. Well, yesterday I had a number of telephone calls. The first one anticipated the drug to arrive by 13h00 and asked if I could be a the clinic at that time – after some deliberation with my diary I said I would be there a little later than one, but I would come thru. The alternative option was to wait until Monday as my oncologist would not be at the office today and tomorrow (and they have to be on site in case you have any reactions to the drug). Well, by 13h30 I still had not received the call that the drug had arrived. Waited and then phoned the clinic myself asking if I could as least have all the tests on Wed and then chemo Thurs (today) – this was later agreed to as my original oncologist Dr L said she would be on site. I was home only about 30 minutes when the phone rang… I would not be getting chemo until the trial company had proof that the medicine was transported at the correct temperature. So this morning I deliberated with going to the office or working from home. I decided on the latter and by this afternoon still don’t have news whether chemo will occur this week. I did tell the clinic this afternoon that early next week would not be so easy for me to change my work schedule and they accepted that.

The port has settled – just a bit uncomfortable.

5th round rescheduled

2009-02-05T13:56:00.001+02:00

The operation went through successfully and it will take about a week to settle pain and sensitivity wise. Yesterday around 9am I started nagging the nursing staff for my discharge. I just wanted to get out the hospital and down to the trials unit so that they could start with all the testing and checking before chemo is administered. I eventually phoned the surgeon’s rooms and his assistant contacted him and reverted saying he would be with me in 10 minutes to do the discharge. Finally at 9h30 I was out the hospital and at clinical trials only to hear that I would not be getting chemo. The last batch of the drug underwent a problem with the refrigeration process meaning the drug was not to be used. They tried to source alternative drugs from other trial units in South Africa, with no success. The only option now is to wait for a new consignment which is on its way from Germany (which seems to close to my pen pal Geertje). It is estimated to arrive Friday 6 Feb but I have been warned it could take longer as there are normally quite some time delays at customs. So, for the moment I have rescheduled chemo for Wed 11 Feb. This morning as I was lying in bed still feeling the after effects of the anaesthetics and the pain in the shoulder, I was very grateful that I did not have the side effects of chemo at the same time and besides that I can now enjoy a glass or two of bubbly on my birthday tomorrow. Every happening / event in life always happens for a higher bigger reason, which is for our better.

Venous Access Port

2009-02-02T18:59:00.000+02:00

I am back home and life has returned into it’s normal pace today. Last week I received approval that the pharmaceutical company hosting the trial will pay for the port procedure. This is an absolute blessing (as so many I have had in the past 16 months). Before work this morning I did all the Hospital pre-admission procedure and saw the surgeon and anaesthetist about the account settlement procedures. I need to be at the hospital 6am tomorrow morning with the procedure planned for 8am. Then I remain in hospital overnight and get my next dose of chemo a day earlier, being Wednesday. I have put in leave for the balance of this week as besides the chemo, I am not sure how I am going to feel.

2009-01-22T07:13:00.000+02:00

Monday 19 Jan 09

Chemo last Friday progressed well at a very steady pace. My chemo dosage was reduced by 25% again due to the vein inflammation. This means I am now at 50% of the original dose and according to the Dr’s it is still enough to keep the cancer at bay. I did make a comment to my chemo buddy, Anet, that it makes you wonder why I needed such a big dose initially and was very abruptly reminded that I am on a clinical trial so they are testing the correct dosage!!! So far the side effects have been milder in terms of the nausea. I am still very tired and feel disorientated when I do too much physical and mental exertion. I also saw a surgeon today regarding having a port fitted – this is planned for Tuesday 03 Feb all things going well. Tomorrow should be a normal day at work and then I head off to Antwerp again for 9 days and will see my Mom this coming weekend. Even in Holland things have had there moments of strain as my Mom’s husband fell last Sunday and broke his hip. He is still in hospital post surgery and from there will be moving to a care centre.

Jacobsbaai

2009-01-15T15:47:00.001+02:00

We have had a stunning 3 nights away and the boys were really on good behavior. They did not complain too much about the lack of internet and cable TV and both managed to get through a fiction book. This morning we got stuck in together to clean the house (my brothers seaside cottage) and left around lunchtime. Home in good time for me to get on top of the washing before tomorrow’s chemo session. I am feeling in good spirits as I prepare myself for tomorrow – more positive than I have been in months! Last week Dr T shared the detail of the CT scan. The one lesion that was close to my spleen cannot be seen anymore and the total diameter of the 2 biggest lesions was 32mm in the first trial scan and now measures 24mm. This is the best news that I could have hoped for and I can just hear God saying to me “where is your faith”! So for now, my decision is to remain on the trial for another 2 months and then we reassess again.

4th round Patupilone rescheduled

2009-01-08T17:18:00.000+02:00

This morning I headed off to the oncology unit by myself, feeling healthy and in good frame of mind. My normal partner Anet could not make today because it is her birthday… our thoughts are with you today dear Anet. Instead another dear friend of more than 20 years met me at the oncology unit and spent 90 minutes with me. All the normal tests where done… ECG, heart rate and bloods. The wait was much less than last time, but still took 2.5 hours to see Dr T. We had a good chat and after some deliberation it was decided to reschedule my chemo session of today due to the inflammation I have in my veins. I am now on more medication to ease the inflammation over the next week with chemo now planned for Friday 16 January. I have fortunately already made peace with the fact that chemo’s occur when they have to and am taking the change in my stride. It just means that our family holiday next week needs to be cut short by a few days and I can assure you all that a 17 year old teenager is very happy that he is coming home sooner. What is it with teens not enjoying family holiday!!

Welcome 2009

2008-12-31T13:29:00.000+02:00

The CT scan this morning has delivered very promising results. The cancer growth is stable – this is wonderful news as it means that the clinical drug is halting the growth of the current and new lesions! With today not being a full working day I do not have the full CT results so I cannot report back on the state of my lesions – will do this later. This morning I saw Dr T regarding the terrible pain I have been having in my left arm since before Christmas and I have been diagnosed with inflammation of the veins (too much toxic substance causes this) …. Argh.. it is really painful! I cannot received chemo in my left arm again and will do some hasty work coming Monday regarding having a port fitted. I have been saving my right arm for all the blood tests, etc. So, in conclusion, I remain on the clinical trial with a reassessment of the lesions end Feb 2009. Lets hope and pray that the good news continues thru 2009. I thank everybody who has been supporting me the past 14 month and wish you and your families a healthy prosperous 2009. I will be having a few glasses of bubbly tonight to celebrate today’s news and the new year.

3rd round patupilone

2008-12-21T17:11:00.000+02:00

I was really positively surprised by my white cell and neutrophil count last Thursdays. Both were inside normal range – well done dear body for recovering so well! With the holiday season in South Africa the wait for the blood test results took really long – waited over 4 hours and then got the good news that chemo would occur… .Whoopee! The past 3 days have been much better than cycle one and two on patupilone. I ‘m still bit nausea and tired, but don’t have the intense nausea of the past two rounds. Dr T (clinical trials unit) has put me onto the same anti nausea meds that I had previously on taxol and carbo platinum, and it seems to be doing the trick! I have been having my afternoon siestas and early nights to rest the body. No rest for the wicked as I will do a few hours work from home tomorrow.

11th round of chemo

2008-12-18T07:51:00.000+02:00

Today I have risen with a heavy heart as I face the clinical trials unit and my 11th round of chemo. We start the day with an ECG and blood tests, I then need to wait for the test results (about 1.5 hours) and then see the doctors for some checks and balances, ‘anti’ medicine prescriptions and then I finally get to walk to the chemo rooms with my files in hand. I must admit that I am not looking forward to the treatment knowing how I am going to feel for the next week. In my heart I have had enough of this toxic stuff … it has been 14 months of chemo.

Bron and Rory's wedding

2008-12-07T11:25:00.000+02:00

Tuesday I decided not to take my cortisone (it was my last scheduled dose) and I really started feeling better from Wednesday. I still have the odd bout of nausea and tend to get physically sick in the mornings but managed thru Friday and Saturday without any medication. All is going really well this weekend and I have managed late evenings out and no afternoon naps, though I am not sure I will manage that today. Yesterday was my Goddaughters wedding day and Ian and I consumed an ample amount of bubbly. Bronwyn and Rory looked absolutely stunning and it was a wonderful ceremony and excellent party. Quite a few tears were shed as we raised our glasses to late Sharon (Bron’s mom passed away with cancer nearly 10 years ago).

Patupilone - round 2

2008-11-28T09:56:00.000+02:00

The second cycle of patupilone is behind me. My white cell count and neutrophils are below normal range but still in allowable range for ‘chemo’ to be administered. Due to my severe nausea the doctors have readjusted the volume of chemo down by 25 percent and I am on much smaller doses of cortisone for the next few days. Shall we take some bets on what will happen in 3 weeks – I am game to place a bet that I will need medicines to increase my neutrophils and chemo will be post phoned, similar situation to a few months ago (unless the reduce chemo dose allows my body and blood cells to recover… but the effects are cumulative)

Dr J reckons I am a very strong woman – this comment brought a smile to my face – I know I am a very strong willed person (hahaha) and am blessed with a very strong physical body supporting me though this challenge.

Working in Antwerp

2008-11-21T10:12:00.001+02:00

The past working week has been really busy and I have managed to keep up the pace. I am feeling much better than last week. Dr J (clinical trials unit) phoned my last Friday as I was still feeling really nauseous and the anti medicines were not offering any relieve. He told me to stop taking the cortisone which I have done since last Saturday. Physically I am feeling much better with the odd bout of nausea but it is not nearly as bad as last week. Tonight I head towards Holland to spend the weekend with my mother and then Tuesday I return to South Africa.

Post chemo blues

2008-11-12T08:48:00.000+02:00

Just as I thought the tide was turning, life proved to me that it has not yet. Last Monday we had a water leak in the bathroom causing Dylan’s bedroom to flood and then Friday afternoon Dylan has a little accident on his motor cycle – no big hospital damage but enough to give him a lesson in riding motor cycles and to have respect for all cars.

Yesterday I went to work (first day since chemo) and managed just over 7 hours but was hugely stretched physically. I still have terrible nausea and fatigue and did eventually phone the clinical trial unit for additional medication. This week is hectic at work as we prepare for an overseas trip next week to Belgium and Copenhagen and after that I can look forward to a 3 day weekend with my mom in Holland. My mom is already planning everything including what we are eating at each meal… bless her!

Patupilone

2008-11-07T15:32:00.001+02:00

Wednesday morning I received the call from clinical trials unit. I have been selected onto Patupilone (the trial medication). Treatment started yesterday with blood tests, ECG, doctor visit and then the walk to the chemo room with my folder. I was home around 2h30pm and rested the whole afternoon and went to bed early. Today I am feeling quite shaky in my body and I am really nauseous. I need to force myself to actually eat anything and that for a lady who never forgets to eat :) . Ian is coming home this weekend to help out with day to day life. He leaves Monday morning again and then comes back for good next Friday. On the renovation side things are also coming to an end. The builder wants to sign off today, the electrician and plumber are done except for the last finishing which they can only do when the kitchen is complete, and kitchen contractor is finishing next Thursday – so all on track to complete by next Friday.

Tide is turning

2008-11-04T12:01:00.000+02:00

Finally the tide is turning during this turbulent time. Yesterday morning around 08h15 the oncology clinic phoned me to share that Geneva has approved me on the clinical trials. I am a perfect fit… hehehehe. I will start treatment this coming Thursday and have to wait patiently to hear which arm I have drawn. We all pray and trust that God will give me the medicine that will cure me. About 15 minutes later I called my electrician and he fired me as the customer – I just burst out laughing as I have had my fair share of problems with him and all who know me, know that I have a high level of standard, for myself and other, and if you don’t meet this level I will not be a happy project manager, let alone customer when it is my own money being spent. This morning I already met another electrician on site and he called me later asking if he could start today as his plans for today were cancelled – ironic how all is just meant to be. Now the best news for yesterday – Ian phoned to share that he is coming home from 14 Nov – he has got a transfer to a local Cape Town based location! Blessing I am grateful for!! I can see a glimmer of light shining again.

October2008

2008-11-02T13:13:00.001+02:00

The past month has been one of the worst of my life. It is been an emotional and physical rollercoaster ride – the worst of its kind. I understand that smooth roads don’t deliver good drivers, but WOW there is a point of ‘enough for now’. As you know we are renovating our home and Ian is still working out of town, only coming home every second week-end, so it is pretty stressful dealing with the builders, electricians, tilers, painters and plumbers. A different kind of project to manage! Then I also have my commitment to my employer. With the renovations we have been lucky to have access to my brother’s home. My brother works in the UK but has a home just over 1 km from ours, fully furnished and unoccupied. So we have been living here for the past 2 months. Well, beginning October, Colin (my bro) sends down a Labrador puppy (Anouk) which has come to live with all his other dogs and the caretakers. Anouk was not even here for a week when she and Tobi (also a lab) were playing quite roughly and there was an accident whereby Tobi jumped up and landed on her leg. So off to the vet we went where Anouk needed an operation with plates and pin in her right back leg. The following week I had the wonderful news that my tumour counts were rising only to be confirmed as cancer again a few days later. The emotion of having to deal with all these things being thrown at us has been incredible. I will admit that I have been in a very dark pit and as I struggle to get myself out and positive again, I keep feeling the negative pull on the reverse. On top of all of this, Dylan had an accident Monday morning. I was in Johannesburg for the day and had arranged with a friend to collect the boys for school. Sean opened the visitors gate and went out thru it, then Tobi jumped up against the gate locking it. Dylan decided he would jump over the fencing rather than open the gate again. He had one leg on either side of the fence, started moving his back leg to swing it over and his front leg slipped. Causing him to crash land onto the spikes of the fencing. He went to school for an hour after which time he could not walk anymore, so phoned my friend to fetch him. Fortunately her father is out visiting from Oz and he is a medical doctor. He has a look and sent him off to emergency immediately. He has a haematoma on the scrotum. He spent 4 days in hospital as they were concerned an abscess was forming, after x-rays and scopes confirmed no damage to the plumbing. Thank heavens. Dylan is still walking around like the lone ranger with his catheter – hopefully this comes out tomorrow.

Then on Friday I went for all the medical screening for the clinical trials. My logic is that if I go for standard chemo now I will never that the opportunity to try the trials. If I go with the trials then I can reassess in a few months and return to standard chemo, pending the results. The good news is that my blood counts and chemicals are normal, my heart is very strong and normal and my lungs are just fine! The 3 growths are now 5 with a 6th one forming. The biggest grow 12.5mm 3 ½ weeks ago is now 21mm. All my tests have now been sent to Geneva for full screening and I should know by Wed whether I am accepted or not. Either way, Dr L (oncologist) has already processed standard chemo with the medical aid and this has been approved, so next week I will start treatment again.

Operation or not

2008-10-29T08:25:00.000+02:00

The docs advise that they can operate but they can only remove what they can see with their physical eyes. The fact that the cancer is growing in various places shows that the cancer is microscopically in the whole abdomen, so an operation would just remove what we see today and then in a few weeks I will have new growths again.

I have finally decided to go for the screening on the clinical trials. This coming Friday I will go for all the interviews, contract signatures and all the medical tests and then I should hear within a week whether I am accepted and what treatment I will receive. I have full faith that God will give me the correct treatment to kill the buggers.