Robert's Blog

Best Error Message Ever

2009-03-01T19:57:00.000-08:00


$   git rebase abh/master
First, rewinding head to replay your work on top of it...
could not detach HEAD

Natural Disaster

2008-10-14T20:38:00.000-07:00

This year's Los Angeles fires are affecting UPS too. I've never seen "NATURAL DISASTER" as a delay reason before. In this case, it wasn't actually delayed because of it.

Shouldn't the Defense Information Systems Agency know how to Google?

2008-10-08T12:00:00.000-07:00

the following email came into a webmaster@ account that I receive..

Subject: Parsing PDF file (UNCLASSIFIED)
From: Gordon.REMOVED@disa.mil

Classification:  UNCLASSIFIED
Caveats: NONE

Hi,

I am trying to design a Perl program to parse through a PDF file.  In
other words, comparing a string value to the Adobe PDF file.  Question:
has anyone ever done this?

Gordon
Classification:  UNCLASSIFIED
Caveats: NONE

I like to believe that the military is hiring people who know how to perform a simple Google search. Apparently I'm wrong.

Cameraphone Sunset Times Two

2008-05-11T20:10:00.001-07:00

Horrible Replicator Accident?

2008-05-11T20:06:00.001-07:00

As seen on IRC

2008-04-20T17:32:00.000-07:00

<someone> http://www.youtube.com/user/AlbertTheLab
<someone> Future-Mother-In-Laws-Neighbors-Dog
<else> "which makes us...absolutely nothing"

The names have been changed to protect the...

Florists

2008-02-17T14:50:00.000-08:00

Apparently the Sunday after Valentines day is not good for buying flowers. I tried to visit four florists -- all were closed at 1:30pm -- before giving up and heading to my favorite jeweler, Mandarin Gems.

As the helpful lady at the jeweler reminded me, I could have just gone to a grocery store. I never find those flowers to be quite as nice as what you can get at a proper florist.

-R

Not so Fast

2007-10-19T21:40:00.000-07:00

Dear Fast,

From: DenyHosts To: root@localhost Subject: DenyHosts Report Date: Fri, 19 Oct 2007 09:07:02 -0700 Added the following hosts to /etc/hosts.deny: 66.151.181.4 (default-gw.bos3.fastsearch.net)

Please learn how to prevent evil ssh-scanning viruses from inhabiting your network.

Thanks!

The Cable Box That Ate Power

2007-10-09T21:36:00.000-07:00

Before I return my never-used digital-cable box and save around $7 a month on my cable bill, I wanted to find out how much power it was using. I pulled out my trusty Kill-A-Watt and let it run. It draws around 13 watts. And appears to use about 10 KWH a month. At 13 cents a KWH that's $1.30.

My favorite part? It uses the same amount of electricity whether it is on or off.

Please learn how to use your tools

2007-08-11T11:21:00.000-07:00

Dear Ingres,
Thanks for letting me know that you've turned me into a potential sales lead. If you read this please understand that the chance of me buying your product is, was, and remains zero.
Yours,
Robert

From: Sales Person
Subject: New lead assigned to you: Robert from COMPANY

*** NEW LEAD ASSIGNMENT NOTIFICATION ***

The following lead has been assigned to you.
Company: COMPANY
Lead Name: Robert
This lead has a rating of Warm
The lead source is/was Trade Show
Detail for the lead: Oscon 2007

Click on the link to access the lead directly: https://na2.salesforce.com/00Q4000000FCxxx

Please contact this lead within the next business days and be sure to log all activities. Change the lead status to IN PROGRESS, etc. once you have acted on the lead.

Thanks,
Ingres Marketing

Another reason to like Portland

2007-07-27T23:34:00.000-07:00

I flew out of PDX (Portland Airport) tonight, and even though I accidentally ended up spending more time with TSA agents than intended, it was still a positive experience. I hit "bad luck" twice in the security line.

First, I set off the metal detector. (And I was not wearing anything that I hadn't worn "successfully" through airport metal detectors before.)

Second, my bag accidentally contained a banned item tucked way down under an extension cord and some crushed granola bars. Off to secondary screening I went. After a quick back-rub and pat-down, the agent started going through my bag. After the first pass, the agent couldn't find anything so he put it through the x-ray again, and started digging through one of the exterior pockets. After finding the object, he asked if I wanted to ship it home for about $10. I did, so we walked over to an ATM-like machine from ReturnKey Systems with a simple touch screen interface. He put the object in a pouch, fed it into the machine, and left me to punch my information in and swipe my credit card.

The thing that impressed me the most, is that throughout this whole thing, the agents were friendly. They weren't acting as if they hated their job. They spoke English well. And they did their job: they found an object that shouldn't have been there. Something another airport missed. Oops. (On the other hand, they didn't make me pull my one-liter bag containing 3.4oz or less bottles of liquids out of the bag. I didn't mind.)

Why can't airport security be this nice at the airports I regularly traverse?

Tarred and Feathered?

2007-07-25T17:52:00.000-07:00

A few days ago, the below message came into one of the perl.org support queues. I had to share it:

I dowloaded (sic) a file from this site. It had something like "tar" at the end of the file name, like an extention (sic). It must be some sort of compression--I don't know. I have nothing that recognizes this ext. If you're going to compress your files, why not use the "zip" format like everyone else on the planet? What benefit is there to using some unheard of compression system that people have to jump through hoops of flaming fuel oil to use?

(For the non technical readers, "tar" or tape archive is an archive format popular on UNIX. For all intents and purposes, its just like "zip", but 10 or 20 years older, and still in wide use. A quick google search for tar file would have told him all this.)

How To Fix a Sticky Lock

2007-06-05T23:07:00.000-07:00

I learned from How To Fix a Sticky Door Lock that a little bit of graphite powder goes a long way. My locks work even better than new.

There's always a catch. I went to Home Depot to buy the graphite. I found the key section. I ask the key section guy: "Do you have any graphite powder for locks?" His answer? "No. Never heard of it." I pressed him a little harder, describing it as a little tube. He was positive that they didn't carry it. Of course, it was on the shelf right behind him.

Radio Interview?

2007-05-27T22:01:00.000-07:00

One of the strangest unsolicited emails I've ever received is below. I'm not sure I'd classify it as spam, although it definitely is unsolicited commercial email, They want me to pay $4000 (on sale from $7000) for three minutes of time to advertise my product. (Whatever that might be.) It would be more convincing if they actually had a business name that wasn't my street, and if they had a recent phone number (instead of one from two jobs ago.)

A little bit of searching shows that Patricia has been spewing this wildly and randomly. I imagine they get enough respondents to plug a product to have a show, but who actually listens to these things on the planes? If it was on the screen I might watch it... but listen? Never.

From: Patricia Chi <pc@skyradioandvideo.com>
To: X Street <my@email>
Subject: Radio Interview with Robert

Time Sensitive Material
X Street
+1 (npp) nxx-xxxxx

Hello:

I am writing on behalf of Sky Radio Network, the nation's leading in-flight media company, in regards to our upcoming "America's Innovators and Entrepreneurs" Talk Radio Show on American Airlines.

This special on-going radio series spotlights compelling profiles of innovators and entrepreneurs -- from small businesses to large enterprises -- the people and companies that make up the backbone of business in America and are rarely heard from. This show will feature stories of hope, ideas and success stories in ways you've never heard before.

I would like to personally invite you to participate in our special program, which airs worldwide on American Airlines for a full month reaching 4.2 million business and leisure travelers. This special advertorial opportunity requires a small production fee (see participation details and costs below).

Our guests to date include:

Anthony Ambrose, General Manager, Intel
Craig Ellins, CEO, DigitalFX
Tom Cates, President, Brookeside
Stephan Brant, Managing VP, Hitachi Consulting
Debbie Grodon, President & CEO, Snappy Auctions
Al Knapp, President & CEO, Ethanex Energy
Joy Flora, President, Merry Maids

To hear some of our current and past interviews, click on http://www.skyradionet.com

Our production team will produce a dynamic one-on-one interview. Our writers will script everything in advance with your final editorial control. Your interview will air in a continuous loop on 29,000 audio-equipped American Airlines flights during the full month of September 2007.

Since we're on deadline, we're offering our last few spots on our September 2007 edition for only $3,995 (normally $6,995). Please note we are recording interviews by now and June 8th and due to our tight deadline, we need a commitment to secure your spot no later than noon PST on Friday, May 25th.

Your participation includes:

1. Production and placement of a 3-minute interview/profile to air worldwide on "The Business and Technology Report" on 29,000 American flights reaching 4.2 million in September 2007.
**American Airlines is the world's largest airline and flies to more destinations than any other airline.
Media kit: http://www.skyradionet.com/mediakitaa.cfm
FAQ: http://www.skyradionet.com/faq
2. Sky Radio's "America's Innovators and Entrepreneurs" program listing in American Attractions (350,000 monthly copies).
** American Attractions has the greatest number of readers and largest circulation of any in-flight publication.
3. Rebroadcast of interview on http://www.skyradionet.com with link to your site for 1 year.
4. Digital audio file of interview for promotional and marketing purposes.
5. "As heard on American Airlines" logo for airing of interview on your website.
6. All turnkey production including scripting, recording, editing, mastering and delivery.
7. Total cost for all of the above is only $3,995 ($6,995 value)

Please contact me as soon as possible to reserve your spot, as space is very limited. In the meantime, I encourage you to visit our website to gain a better understanding of who we are and the caliber of clients we represent.

Look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,

Patricia Chi
Producer
Sky Radio Network
12155 Riverside Drive
Valley Village, CA 91607
818.754.6687 Office
310-594-9609 Mobile
818.301.2099 Fax
pc@skyradioandvideo.com
www.skyradionet.com

Producers of the #1 Talk Shows in the Sky and on the Web

Sky Radio Network is an independent producer contracted to place business and lifestyles talk radio programming for four major domestic carriers. If you'd like to call for a reference, please contact the Executive Producer, Elizabeth Montgomery at 818-762-6800 ext. 11 or email em@skyradioandvideo.com. If you want to be take off our invitation list, please reply to this email stating your intent.

First Post!

2007-05-27T21:49:00.000-07:00

This is the obligatory "First Post" on the new blog. The old one had gotten stale, and the user interface and features were lacking. I can't promise what you'll find here, or how often you'll find it, or if there will even be anything at all.