IM STUCK...IM STUCK...NO MORE!

Spanish Test

2007-03-03T01:42:00.000-08:00

Well im back to cold, wet windy blighty after a relaxing, speech challenging few weeks in Spain. I went over to see my friends Yvette and Mac but spend 5 nights in Hostels around the Costa Del Sol region.

Great fun and a good test for my speech as its puts my out of my comfort zones. I think I went in to the situations with the wrong mindset at first as I was not very disciplined and too fluent. Perhaps too relaxed. I found that I was blocking more than normal so I had to pull my finger out and focus on less words per breath and some fun DD.

When you travel on your own, you have to make conversation with strangers. I love this challenge now as before I would of ran a mile and spend the night on my own. I met some good, fun people during my 5 days and nights travelling. Most of the people I got into conversation with, I told about the McGuire Programme. I think I must of handed out another pack of cards;-))

Once I focussed and used DD and showed honesty I felt much more in control of the speech and the conversation. Funny how just being in a new place can effect you.

Next week im away at Max Rogers Wedding in Stevenage. Hoping to combine my weekend with a visit to London to see Mikey and Gareth. Cant resist a few nights out now and again;-)
Max is a old graduate from the McGuire Programme who helped me so much in my early recovery. He is doing the right thing and practicing his wedding speech with me all next week, warming up for his big event. I am really looking forward to supporting him and also speaking to loads of new people once again...this really helps me to move forward in my recovery. The more we practice the better we will become. A few weeks ago while I was in Spain, Gareth had an interview for the Sun Newspaper and he called me to warm up for the event. Just another example of the difference between success and failure. If we work hard, we will do well...and as if my magic, Gareth did well. Good on Gareth and Max.....

From next week its head in books time as I need to prepare for my Induction into my Life Coaching course. I am so excited about doing this course for the next 6 months. Again a great challenge for my speech as alot of the coaching will involve speaking to fluent speakers either face to face or over the telephone and and being monitored by my Life Coach. Bring it on!

Update and 2007 Goals!

2007-01-06T02:39:00.000-08:00

I cant believe it was 6 weeks ago that i last posted on here. Where has the time gone?

I am just trying to think how its been speech wise in the past few months. Overall I have really enjoyed it...perhaps been a little sloppy at times but has no problems and the key is that im not avoiding words, sounds or situations. Coaching two students from the Bournemouth Course has been great fun and helped me to get back into coaching mode...something I have missed in the past few years as the RD role on the McGuire Programme is much different.

This year, as well as the photography and youthwork I want to go on a few Life Coaching courses. In December of last year I went on a day course and found it very inspiring and this motivated me to what to find out more about it. So I have enrolled on a few more courses to see how I find them. So many people have told me I would make a good life coach but I feel I need to attend these courses to see for myself if I could do it! I have also got come good contacts to use for advice.

As RD of the McGuire Programme I really feel its important for me to have a job role outside of the McGuire comfort zones so that I am always challenging my speech. Once a coach on the programme told me I need to be doing one thing a day that challenges me to keep moving forward. I agree with that and by pushing myself into these new situations this will help.

In December I gave myself until February 7th 2007 to make my decision about a career. I feel frustraited that I have my fingers in many pies but have not gone on to make one a career.

2007 is the time for me....watch this space!!

Life Update - Another Radio Interview

2006-11-15T03:17:00.000-08:00

Well time just moves on so quick and before I knew it....I had forgotten to update my blog!

Quite alot has happened in the past month. I have really moved forward in my recovery from major surgery (few months ago) and im running 2-3 times a week and now swimming regularly. I am training my friend in preperation for the London Marathon next year, so by helping her I am also getting back to fitness.

On the job front, well I am back trying to organise this next McGuire Course in Bournemouth next week. Its a big challenge and im glad that Claire Feehan is helping me. This course will be more challenging as we have Staff Training running during the whole course, probably some media coverage as Gareth Gates is instructing this course and also its a big course for new students and old graduates. Should be fun and great speech practice for all.

I have just started back doing a little photography. Last week I took photos at the Cheddar Half Marathon. This was great fun and my first road run. I now want more road runs to do.
The cheese was good too:-)) I have also decided to attend a Life Coaching course in London in a months time. This is just a one day taster to see if I like it, but its something I think I would love to get into.

Finally, I would like to thank my brother Chris for attending another local radio interview with me on Monday. BBC Somersert Sound asked us to attend their show and talk about the McGuire Programme. It went really well and another step forward in our recovery. I really tried to slow my speech down and resist time pressure. This helped and I was much happier this time than when I did my last radio interview earlier this year. It was great to have Chris there too working hard on his speech in a pressure situation. Well done brother...no avoiding is the key!!!!!!! Its great that we can listen back to it and analyse our speech to help us move forward in our recovery from stammering. Another tick in the box of working on your speech where it counts....in the real world!

More Pushing Out Comfort Zones

2006-10-11T04:57:00.000-07:00

Last night I took new gratuate Mike Griffiths to meet a young woman (mid 20s) and her parents to discuss the McGuire Programme. The woman has had a stammer all her life and like Mike did, she has been undecided on whether to attend a course or not. Also like Mike and myself she has a covert stammer and hides it with great skill. To the outside word people think she has no speech problem but to the woman, inside its eating into her and always putting herself under pressure to have to avoid words and sounds.

I decided to ask Mike along as he has only been on the programme a few months and as well as giving him an opportunity to speak, show his video and push out his comfort zones in a new environment I also felt it would benefit the young woman to hear someone speaking so soon after their first course.

When we got there we received a warm greeting with tea and rolls, I wish I had not just eaten a roast before we left!! I did a mini open day presentation, telling them a bit about stammering, method (some things we teach on the course), structure of a course, our STRONG support network etc etc.

Then it was Mikes chance. Its amazing how well Mike did as I could tell he felt a little under pressure to speak well as he was not only representing himself but also the McGuire Programme. He did what I wanted him to do, be open and honest and disciplined with his speech. He started off mechanical and then relaxed as it went on and I could see him enjoying his voice and the way be came across. He showed his video and answered questions with great honesty and I felt this was another great step for Mike in expanding his comfort zones. Well done son!!

All we must do now is hope this young woman wants to take control of her stammer and being in her mid 20,s she is at a good age to realise how important having speech control really is!!

Support Groups

2006-09-25T02:23:00.000-07:00

I have been a member of the McGuire Programme for 8 years now and one main reason for my speech success has been the use of my local support group. I have been lucky enough to be a member of the Bridgwater Support Group and during the early stages of my recover I made myself attend the two weekley......two hour long Sunday night meeting. I needed this support and attended regularly for a few years.

When I came off my first course, I felt on top of the world. I felt nothing could stop me moving forward in my recovery. But what I did not realise was just how much I needed to use the amazing support network of the McGuire Programme to move forward in my recovery.

We used to run the group in a local pubs skittle alley and I was lucky that my coach Martin Coombs attended regularly as well. More to come later on Martin, who was one of the main reasons I have reached so many speech goals during my time on the programme!

During support groups we practice using the techniques taught on courses. We also discuss the last two weeks of our recovery and discuss how we can improve our speech in challenging situations. We always look to move forward in our recovery, never stand still.......lways look to improve our speech. Its a great way to help improve and learn to speak well in all situations and take control of all words and sounds. During the session we always end on a speech or a table topics session to let go and have fun speaking.

I really wish more graduates who make the effort to attend their support groups. Some people think they can do well without using the support on offer. I know a lot do, but more would surly do better if they made that extra effort every other week. Use the support on offer guys!! Its the way forwards!

Working on my speech when ill and learning from my mistakes.

2006-09-13T10:09:00.000-07:00

Well...its been a while since I last put a post on the blog, mainly cause I have been to hospital. Its been an interesting few weeks speech wise, trying to keep up with the technique after my operation. The operation effected my throat and stomach so I could not speak using the costal diaphram for a few day. When speaking I just used the basic pause, breath, speak, release technique and used a few tools to keep myself centred/focussed on my speech. Its was a good job I was feeling stong with my speech at the time, otherwise it may have been harder. It was a relief to feel the full breath come back after a few days. Now I have no excuses!!

Its amazing how your physical state effects your speech, just like your emotions can. I have found myself to be more spontaneous since the operation and I think its down to not feeling 100%. I have found myself having to cancel more words lately, not because I am fearing them but just because I feel im not articulating properly and stumbling over words, sometimes without noticing. I am now more focussed and will get back to normal soon.

A few months ago I met my cousin for the first time for ages. He was back in the area and had not heard me speaking with control before. He was amazed as to how good my speech was as I was speaking with discipline. I saw him every week for a month or so and every time he could not believe how well I was doing, when speaking in front of different people. Then one night, I was talking to people in the pub and getting excited. He stopped me and said, he had noticed my speech had not been as good tonight, as it normally is. I straight away slowed down and used more discipline. I was so grateful that he had pulled me up and make me noticed I was sloppy. He then told me at the end of the night that since he mentioned to me about my speech it improved and went back to the normal eloquent way that I know I can be. This shows me that we need people to pull us up on our speech. This way we can learn from our mistakes. When people mention it we need to make it a positive, because its a great way to move forward in our recovery.

Why push myself?

2006-08-22T02:45:00.000-07:00

As a recovering stammerer, its so important that I continue to keep on top of my speech. In the past few weeks I have been sloppy and not been as disciplined as I would have liked. However I have no problem with this anymore as long as I continue to push myself and NEVER hold back when dealing with worlds, sounds or situations. My mindset is spot on!

I have had a lot of pressure building from uncertainty at work, my health issues and also my social life but by being positive and assertive, this has helped me to move forward and treat these situations as an opportunity to continue my amazing and exciting recovery from stammering.

Recently I have spoken at some events and been proud of myself. While in Greece last month we managed to get a group of Greek Speech Therapists together and I did a presentation about the McGuire Programme to them. This went very, although my speech was a little rushed. I really need to work harder on the pause, and FORCE myself to exaggerate it!

I then had an interview for a local newspaper as they needed a freelance photographer. The editor said he speaks to many freelance photographers but felt he could work with me!
I amazed at how well I came accross and the interview with control and honesty regarding my speech and life. Always feels better speaking well when not talking about the McGuire Programme. Makes me feel I am really moving forward and not sticking in my comfort zones.

Radio interviews are now boring and I cant believe I think like that. Doing a recent interview for BBC Wiltshire Sound was great fun and exciting. I loved it but again realised I was not resisting time pressure / pausing enough.....typical covert stammerer!!

On Saturday I attended my first British Stammering Association Open Day in London. This was a great experience meeting other stammerers and listening to other presentations as well as running our own McGuire Presentation. Again, this went very well, again too rushed and not paused enough but delighted at the responce.

I have come along way since joining the programme. Its not only giving me the tools to control my stammer but also to given me the confidence to move on and enjoy every moment in life. Pausing is not a big issue, I enjoy speaking and letting go and having fun...but I know I need to focus more on the pause as when I use it well, my speech is amazing.

My advice to anyone who stammers would be to do one thing every day that is a challenge. This might not be a big challenge but could be a small one. My challenge today is to use a 5 second pause when speaking to a out of control stammerer shortly....go for is and dont hold back because if you go for it, this will open up opportunities you would never thought exsisted.

Special K And Friends!

2006-08-01T08:10:00.000-07:00

Support for family and friends has been so important for me in my life, especially during the days of my speech recovery. I really knew who my true friends were when I was an out of control stammerer as they gave me support and encouragement and never made me feel bad about myself. I had a covert stammer which meant that I tried to make other think I was a fluent speaker. This was easy sometimes and hard, tiring and stressful in other situation. I avoided all B, D and G words and always replaced these words with other words that I felt a little more comfortable saying. For example in the pub I felt I could not say Guniness so I would always ask for Murphys and make fun of myself to others that I forgot again, the shame, guilt and self hate I had for myself was a terrible feeling. I remember leaving the pub one night, walking outside and crying as I could hear others laughing at my stammer. I thought I did well to avoid but people knew....yes Matt Wilton has a stammer! Amazing that the McGuire Programme has not only changed my speaking life but also my confidence as a person. I am now in control and such a strong person now!!

My friends at home have been amazing and supported me so much during my recovery. They have been there to listen and understand the technique and some of them had been good enough to let me know if I am doing something wrong. My brother Chris also has a stammer and we helped each other build confidence and get out on the streets and practice our speech. Harvs (slimbob.co.uk) our mate even attended a course to try to understand how best to support me and Chris. Support from your family is important, knowing the McGuire Programme wants friends and family to attend courses is such a great idea as the stammerer needs support and loved ones to try to understand. We also feel the family and friends need support as much as us. My ex-girlfriend Carly attended many full courses to try to understand how best to help me - something im eternally grateful for and my sister Kate (Daisy) has also has a taste of a McGuire Course. Yes we all need support.

The main success of the McGuire Programme is the support network. Not only do you get your own coach, access to support groups all around the UK, a phonelist of coaches, access to future courses and also worldwide support but you also make friends on the programme. Friends who understand what its like to stammer and friends who can pick you up if you have had a bad day. I have been lucky as I have made some great friends for life. Martin Coombs (Bill Bottle), my primary coach lives near me and I often visit him and his wife for a meal. Alan and Sandra Wyatt, are always there for me, whether it be speech related or personal issues, two amazing people. I have also expanded my comfort zones and visit london. There I have made two very good friends in Michael Hay and Gareth Gates. Not just friends to help my continued recovery from my stammer but friends for life who are there to help me with any life problems or there to just listen. Closer to home Simon Baily and Gemma and Bob have been there to support me and have become good friends.

Then we go into Europe and there's Stamatis from Greece. Stamatis is becoming to great trusting, honest friend who made me feel so welcome in Greece recently. The rock, Kristin from Norway has also been such a recent influence on my recovery. She has become a good friend and we speak quite regularly. Her help with my speech and also non-speech related issues is something I can't thank her enough for. So just goes to show, the support network must be second to none and I also feel lucky to not just know such wonderful guys, but to have a stammer!

Photography

2006-07-21T00:54:00.000-07:00

During the past year I have been working for the Guild of Photographers where the Director Joan Roberts (who has been a photographer for over 30 years) has supported me and taught me the skills I will need to make a career in Photography.

I have also completed a course in Photography and have experience in Portraits, Weddings, commercial, sport and event and makeover photography.

I am now also doing freelance work for the Central Somerset Gazette and building up my website to focus on my passion and skill in Sport and Event Photography.

Have a look at my website and leave me a comment in the guest book at www.mattwiltonphotography.com

You can also find out more about the Guild of Photographers at www.photoguild.co.uk

Controlling My Stammer

2006-07-20T23:48:00.000-07:00

So how important is it to be able to communicate? For the first 26 years of my life, commumication was difficult. I had athletics trials for Millfield...boy I was fast....but no way was I able to run away from my speech problem! I have a stammer. During 26 years, I tried to hide for the fact I had speech problems, scared to admit it to myself and others.

School life was soul distroying. I loved football, would avoid going to away matches as I would have to sit on the school minibus and someone might ask me a question. How would I answer? I would think of words that I could use to replace B, D and G words as I knew I would not be able to say them. When a phone would ring I would hide, I would never in my dreams be able to make a simple call, like phone to make an appointment for the Doctors!

Work was tough too. My year as a YTS plumbing trainee was hell. I make the tea and sat in my shell. I learnt nothing I asked nothing. I left that job and worked for Tesco. I avoided words and sounds but somehow managed to get a job stacking shelves. I avoided staff and customers and felt shame, guilt and self hate. I would not be myself, I was always running away from my stammer, scared to face it.

I tried therapys and nothing helped...I felt I had no future and no life.

Then came that change. And I can honestly say, the best thing that has ever happened to me. Mum breaking her leg taking the dog for a walk, changed my life. She was laid up at home, reading a magazine and found an article about the McGuire Programme. My brother Chris, also has a stammer and she asked us both to attend a Open Day with Mum and Dad in Swindon. My first thought was, no way, no way, im not going, it wont help me, nothing will. Chris wanted to go, so after nagging, I was told to join them. I went to a Open Day and saw videos of people before and after the course. Yes there was a change and yes their stammer was bad but no, I still could not see how it would help me. Chris was keen to try a course so I went along, Scheptical, negative, and embarissed....but I went.

The first day I felt I tried hard but no, I could not see it help me. I would not have an open mind. Thursday night after the first day I sat in my room debating whether to go home or stay. My room mate, told me to have faith and Chris was sounding good but I found it hard to get used to the breathing and speaking slower, pausing etc.

On the Friday late afternoon something clicked into place. Wow what a feeling. I felt I could say words with more confidence and control. I felt I was making progress. The more I focussed and worked hard, the more I took control of my speech. All the training I was taught helped me get stronger and I was learning how to control all words and sounds. On the Sunday we had to give a going home speech. Looking back to the Wednesday night and Thursday, there is no way I would ever of thought I would be giving a speech on the Sunday. But I did, and I did amazing. I felt proud (this is making me emotional now typing this, bringing back such courgeous memoroes) and I felt I had a future.

On the Wednesday night I drove to Swindon seperate from my brother as I thought I would be driving home on the Thursday as it would not work and I could save money. So I had to drive home alone after the course. Half way to home, I had to stop on the motorway. I cried and cried, could not believe this last 4 days had happened to me. I was determined to never go back. I was determined to be proud of who I am. I was determined to be honest and open about my stammer. I knew I was not cured. I still know I will never be cured. But I had been given the tools to take control of my stammer and it felt liberating. I make a deal with myself that I would work hard and follow the directions and use the amazing support network the McGuire Programme offers. I knew I was not alone and that now I can get advice from people who tought me on how to keep moving forward in my recovery. Something that struck me was that all the courses are run by recovering stammerers and they know what its like to stammer and struggle with your speech as well as move forward. That helped so much to reassure me when on the course. At last after 26 years I was proud to have a stammer and be able to control it.

I went back to Tesco, did a presentation in front of the managers. Speaking slowly but with control, building the foundations of my speech as I knew I was learning to speak again. I spoke on the tannoy and phone at Tesco and I set myself goals to be a manager at Tesco. Within a year I had reached that goal, moving to a larger Tesco store and working as a Grocery Manager, supervising over 30 staff. I then left Tesco as I did not want to work for them and went travelling to New Zealand for 8 months as I knew I could now!! My life had changed and the future was bright!! Wow what a feeling.

Since then I have been qualified as a youth worker and also help give something back to the amazing McGuire Programme by helping others with their speech. I knew a big part of my recovery was the support I was given. I have been on the programme 8 years now and its been 8 years of moving forward. My recovery has been helped by the support of my family, my brother Chris, my ex girlfriend Carly and my lifetime McGuire coach, Martin Coombs. I will always be grateful to have Martin (Bill Bottle) as my coach as he has imspired me and given me confidence to reach for the goals and meet them. I thank you all from my heart.

I now have control of my speech and my life!! There is light at the end of the tunnel and I AM STUCK....NO MORE! LIFE IS NOW FUN.

For more information on the McGuire Programme visit www.mcguireprogramme.com