tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31067005367612868422008-08-06T16:54:40.876-05:00even the details have detailsElisa Gabberthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10270808520581466353noreply@blogger.comBlogger40125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3106700536761286842.post-46605187421503850722008-08-06T16:49:00.004-05:002008-08-06T16:54:40.888-05:00New review at coldfront magMany thanks to John Deming of <a href=http://coldfrontmag.com/>coldfront mag</a> for this ultra-flattering and astute <a href=http://reviews.coldfrontmag.com/emthat-tiny-insane-volupt.html>review of <em>That Tiny Insane Voluptuousness</em></a>. Great discussion of collaborative poetry and how the process can sometimes overshadow the product. (Not with us, of course!) Here's an excerpt:<br /><blockquote>I think I’d trade the last six “collaborative” books I’ve read for just half of Elisa Gabbert and Kathleen Rooney’s hip, smart, self-aware and incredibly focused new collection. <br /><br />The best thing about <em>That Tiny Insane Voluptuousness </em>is that it is a singular, sustained inspiration spoken by a singular, if conflicted, voice.</blockquote> <br />Now <a href=http://reviews.coldfrontmag.com/emthat-tiny-insane-volupt.html>go read the rest</a>.Elisa Gabberthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10270808520581466353noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3106700536761286842.post-1437003249623533532008-06-16T08:41:00.003-05:002008-06-16T08:50:42.741-05:00New review of TTIVAdam Golaski does a write-up of <i>That Tiny Insane Voluptuousness</i> over at the <a href=http://flimforum.blogspot.com/2008/06/when-language-trumps-meaning-i-am-most.html>Flim Forum blog</a>. Apparently it's "always clever, mostly light-hearted, sometimes crass, and occasionally wise" -- check out the <a href=http://flimforum.blogspot.com/2008/06/when-language-trumps-meaning-i-am-most.html>full review here</a>. Thanks Adam! <br /><br />Also, Rusty Barnes kindly wrote on Goodreads: "These are fine poets singly, and together they're a knockout. I so so admire truly witty, playful poems, and it's very cool to have all this work in one place so I don't have to scour the 'net for it. Great stuff."<br /><br />Are we witty/crass enough for YOU? <a href=http://www.lulu.com/content/2210697>Buy the book</a> and find out.Elisa Gabberthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10270808520581466353noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3106700536761286842.post-56219416102510690172008-06-01T18:45:00.011-05:002008-06-04T20:16:59.561-05:00Updates! News! Etc.!Much has occurred since we abandoned this blog like a mine shaft last year. Our chapbook, <a href=http://www.dancinggirlpress.com/something.html>Something Really Wonderful</a>, came out from dancing girl press in November; look for it wherever rare books and collector's items are sold. <a href=http://wallacethinksagain.blogspot.com/2008/02/quick-takes.html>Mark Wallace</a> had nice things to say about it, like "The linguistic energy and, really, virtuosity, can be stunning." <br /><br />And last month, our full-length collection, <a href=http://www.lulu.com/content/2210697>That Tiny Insane Voluptuousness</a>, was released from Otoliths. You can read poems from this collection in <a href=http://bostonreview.net/BR33.2/gabbertrooney.php>Boston Review</a>, Caketrain, <a href=http://www.coconutpoetry.org/gabbertrooney1.htm>Coconut</a>, The Concher, <a href=http://www.dusie.org/gabbert.html>Dusie</a>, <a href=http://www.elimae.com/poetry/Rooney/Tips.html>Elimae</a>, Foursquare, <a href=http://www.mipoesias.com/2007/gabbert_rooney.htm>MiPOesias</a>, <a href=http://www.noojournal.com/view.php?mode=1&issue=eight&id=157>Noo</a>, <a href=http://www.opiummagazine.com/Index.aspx?storyid=567>Opium</a>, <a href=http://the-otolith.blogspot.com/2006/12/elisa-gabbert-and-kathleen-rooney.html>Otoliths</a>, <a href=http://www.pastsimple.org/ps2egabbert.html>Past Simple</a>, <a href=http://sawbuckpoems.blogspot.com/2007/02/elisa-gabbert-kathleen-rooney.html>Sawbuck</a>, and <a href=http://www.sundress.net/21stars/issue05/gabbert-rooney1.htm>21</a> <a href=http://www.sundress.net/21stars/issue05/gabbert-rooney2.htm>Stars</a> <a href=http://www.sundress.net/21stars/issue05/gabbert-rooney3.htm>Review</a>.<br /><br />Michael Gushue <a href=http://vrzhu.typepad.com/vrzhu/2008/05/interview-with.html>interviewed us</a> for the VRZHU Press blog.<br /><br /><a href=http://www.ahadadabooks.com/component/option,com_jd-wp/Itemid,28/m,20080501/>Jesse Glass wrote</a> on the Ahadada blog that if our poems were set to music a la Japanse girl band Puffy, it would "rocket these two to cult status on the thinking woman's circuit."<br /><br /><a href=http://samuelwharton.blogspot.com/2008/05/return.html>Samuel Wharton</a> called this book "really awesome, a perfect mix of spry humor, mind-curdling verbal gymnastics, & dead-on seriousishness."<br /><br />Our poems were featured on <a href=http://www.sharkforum.org/2007/12/poem-of-the-week-ii-by-elisa-g.html>Sharkforum</a>.<br /><br />Amy Kucharik wrote on Facebook: "I hate most poets, but I make an exception for Elisa Gabbert. The unexpected, playful turns in these poems are always original, never pretentious, and kind of make you wonder what Elisa/Kathy have been up to that inspired them." Thanks for not hating, Amy K.<br /><br />We've got new work forthcoming in Chicago-based Make Magazine and MoonLit. Stay tuned for more.Elisa Gabberthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10270808520581466353noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3106700536761286842.post-47520517723071660112007-04-30T12:07:00.000-05:002007-04-30T10:50:37.121-05:00April, we bid you adieuLAST DATE<br /><br />Where’s the glitter? Where’s the excitement?<br />A stroll to clear our minds sounded lame, but <br />when you dropped me off at the vacant lot,<br />it became the walk of improbable detail<br />& I probably shouldn’t be so sad about it. <br />There’re worse things than having no prom date--<br />a prison tattoo, for example, or a third nipple.<br />That’s just a fad. Or a “faze,” as you’d say,<br />your malaprop of the day, adorable<br />as ever--I hate you all the more. Wherefore <br />the moon. The Tears of the Moon belly ring?<br />The king is dead. Long live the king.Elisa Gabberthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10270808520581466353noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3106700536761286842.post-14016553275010462372007-04-29T20:38:00.000-05:002007-04-29T20:40:37.294-05:00Bonus tracks #5 & #6: Quatrains! Again!I love timelines, but I hate time,<br />& people who say <i>You’re so linear</i> & <br /><i>Touching harms the art</i>.<br />I just want to feel the lines. <br /><br />*<br /><br />No one has yet satisfactorily defined<br />the boundary between the flesh & the mind.<br />If you’re so fucking smart, <br />why don’t you take a swing, ass-brain?Elisa Gabberthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10270808520581466353noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3106700536761286842.post-70785391690549870102007-04-29T14:02:00.000-05:002007-04-29T13:11:28.501-05:00Almost no one mistakes a bear for a rockFOLKPSYCHOLOGY<br /><br />Whatever happened to the baby raccoon<br />mistaking the moon for her maker’s eye?<br /> <br />I lied: it wasn’t the moon either, just<br />a shiny lost satellite, neither hers nor mine.<br /> <br />“Wish I might” on that & all you end up w/<br />is another baby forced to grow up too soon.<br /> <br />You can’t fake love, wisdom, or a sneeze<br />& expect to please everyone. Curdled light<br /> <br />oozing in thru a broken window is like<br />an attenuated wind. Only visible.Elisa Gabberthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10270808520581466353noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3106700536761286842.post-73437902196007999192007-04-28T08:32:00.000-05:002007-04-28T07:46:16.786-05:00Honeymoon's overFACEDOWN BLUES<br /><br />I’m in love w/ a girl I watched eat an apple core.<br />Her best pet name for me was “Little Fiddlehead.”<br />She was the type to play games: reindeer, newlywed, <br />card & board. She drove a coach & four. In Baltimore<br />she blew me fourteen kisses, each a pouty semaphore,<br />unflagging. A locomotive wept in the engine shed,<br />each night for two weeks. I slept the sleep of a riverbed,<br />woke up water-logged down by the old New Jersey shore,<br />alone. She couldn’t take it anymore: I was a ball & chain,<br />or so she said. She wouldn’t take it back. A heart attack,<br />Jack--mending under an unfixed leak, a chance of rain,<br />a chance of pain: a sweet hard smack like sugar cane,<br />an ache like a cavity down in my soul. My gunnysack <br />has no counter-attack. Lightning struck my weathervane.Elisa Gabberthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10270808520581466353noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3106700536761286842.post-6202619273283233442007-04-27T14:17:00.000-05:002007-04-27T12:59:09.180-05:00Bonus track #4BLUE PERIOD TRITINA<br /><br />You can’t get to the top from the bottom<br />w/o stepping on some mentors on the way. <br />The sky beyond the top is powder blue,<br /> <br />the blue of early memories, the baby blue<br />of blue raspberry Slushees in a glass-bottom-<br />boat-shaped glass. There’s no graceful way <br /><br />to fall on your ass, so you have to keep away<br />from the marbles: the cat’s eye, the big blue <br />shooter & loathsome aggie, small as a subatom. <br /><br />Bottom’s up! Bombs away. Thar she blew.Elisa Gabberthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10270808520581466353noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3106700536761286842.post-22196938610874056812007-04-27T08:55:00.000-05:002007-04-27T08:52:31.488-05:00It's a rich man's worldPOLITE SOCIETY<br /><br /><p align=justify>As per always, money money money, money money money. A typical day, a typical cadenza. It was all pretty wrong, but the wrongest thing isn’t always so bad, hm? Look at it w/ some equipoise, why don’t you? The gnomon on the sundial is to the sundial as I am to our social circle. I’m pointing out the swan. That angel’s song means that the end is nigh. On a night like tonight you shouldn’t use words like iota. I ought to reiterate: <i>I am very, very afraid</i>. Don’t go away & don’t get mad. Get even deeper into historically accurate drug scenes. Our whole lives we waited, & now, here’s this suitcase.</p>Elisa Gabberthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10270808520581466353noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3106700536761286842.post-85724569278635086732007-04-26T16:04:00.000-05:002007-04-26T14:30:25.502-05:00Bonus track #3NOTHING BUT TENDERNESS & PLEASURE<br /> <i>“The honeymoon is a relic of marriage by capture...” –Wikipedia</i> <br /><br />Sudden realization. I stopped breathing<br />when we reached prairie. Scary how<br />there’s no real “now” now. Out here,<br />the haystacks are infinity-shaped &<br />full of needles. What I’m looking for<br />might lie buried along the interstate, or<br />never have existed. When I married<br />the sea, it asked “Can I touch your hair?”<br />It was already touching me, everywhere.<br />Intermittent, erratic, but also erotic--<br />I was drenched. & I can’t forget<br />the infinite sky. & I can’t forget why <br />I came here: I’m starting to forget<br />why the phrase “making love” makes me<br />feel so strange, out of phase. Maybe<br />I’ll finish forgetting, one of these days.Elisa Gabberthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10270808520581466353noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3106700536761286842.post-46979122099992612302007-04-26T10:14:00.000-05:002007-04-26T08:52:11.132-05:00When they do the double dutch, that's them dancingPOEM CONTAINING A POEM BY DAVID BRENT<br /><br />I froze your tears, & made a dagger<br />(so I could melt the evidence, make salt)<br />& stabbed it in my cock, forever<br />(so you could see it’s not your fault).<br />It stays there like Excalibur<br />Hotel & Casino, stuck in 1989.<br />Are you my Arthur? Say you are.<br />Or better yet, say you’re my Author.<br />Take this cool dark steeled blade-<br />tipped pen; see its calligraphic line. <br />Steal it, sheathe it in your lake <br />of ink & king me like a checker.<br />I’d drown with you to be together--<br />let’s dive into the deep end, 6’ down.<br />Must you breathe? ‘Cause I need heaven,<br />at least seven minutes. How’s that sound?Elisa Gabberthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10270808520581466353noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3106700536761286842.post-50627120484986187252007-04-25T15:55:00.000-05:002007-04-25T14:59:05.321-05:00Bonus track #2: Backwards Day #3FAMILY REUNION<br /><br />The future is now? You mean <i>now</i> now? <br />I love you, but ouch. A punch in the arm, <br />a swift kick in the pants--I can’t say I like <br />your idea of catching up. My life is still a sore <br />subject, so how about we drop it. Will I ever <br />stop getting carded or start liking it? Why must <br />the desire for a) dessert & b) a higher power <br />be childish or childlike? What keeps me up <br />at night: the fact that aliens <i>do</i> exist, but they <br />don’t care for us as we care for them. Feign <br />surprise? I’m actually surprised. I’ve been<br />getting asked that question about 100x a day.<br />I don’t keep up w/ cinema; even suspended <br />over a canyon, I can’t suspend my disbelief.<br />They said “Don’t look down.” I looked down.<br />Cold water. Bright. Satisfying. I get freaked out <br />when it seems like there are too many horizons,<br />railroad tracks & an approaching vanishing point.<br />This is where our ancestors went to die. Some <br />view. Newsflash: status jockeys don’t ride <br />horses, & anyway, you’re more of an anti-<br />social climber. Trade you my color dreams <br />for your black & white? Your tendency <br />toward abstraction for my fear of heights. <br />The blood pounded in my ears. I just pounded <br />two beers. My tour guide said nobody loves <br />a tourist, not even other tourists--obviously, <br />I had a lot to learn, so I grounded myself. <br />When Mom said she’d feed my pet rock until<br />I got back from summer camp--was that a joke?<br />What did Granny mean when she said I’d be <br />the evil one if I had a twin? If I were a statue, <br />I’d look like me, w/ a heart of stone & a spooky <br />set of eyes. I can get mad. & even sadder.<br />I used to think gray hair smelled like smoke.Elisa Gabberthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10270808520581466353noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3106700536761286842.post-6991689873790454862007-04-25T11:44:00.000-05:002007-04-25T11:23:37.770-05:00There are some things you can't hideFIRST DATE<br /><br />Neither of us is infinite--is that okay?<br />I’ve got hypertension, bad eyesight<br /><br />& a crabwalk but on the brighter side--<br />or maybe it’s annoying?--I’ve got telepathy.<br /> <br />Is your “work name” Bruce? B/c I see <br />like a bat, man--w/ sonar, not sight;<br /><br />I “see” right thru your disguise, esp- <br />ecially your phony lack of sympathy.<br /> <br />If your nose itches, it means you’ll kiss<br />your 1st wife for the 1st time at the site<br /> <br />of the 1st phone call ever misdialed. <br />Every prediction is a call for empathy.Elisa Gabberthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10270808520581466353noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3106700536761286842.post-5393849214781341172007-04-24T19:09:00.000-05:002007-04-24T19:11:43.796-05:00Bonus track #1: Mike Young #2CLEVER COMEBACKS<br /><br />There’s an injured marsupial in front of my tire. <br />Would you be interested in a happy ending?<br /> <br />Technically, it’s still spring.<br />Would you be interested in a happy ending?<br /> <br />Stop honking. I’m trying to think.<br />Would you be interested in a happy ending?<br /><br />I’m not going to court you, on the tennis court or otherwise.<br />Would you be interested in a happy ending?<br /> <br />This room is full of bookish & thoughtful brunettes.<br />Would you be interested in a happy ending?<br /> <br />You’re a good-looking crowd--where are you from? <br />Would you be interested in a happy ending?<br /><br />The letter marked CONFIDENTIAL has your name on it.<br />Would you be interested in a happy ending?<br /><br />As of today, there are no more fish in the sea.<br />Would you be interested in a happy ending?<br /> <br />Do you feel fragile in the morning hours?<br />Would you be interested in a happy ending?<br /> <br />I’m going to unstuff those deer mounts of yours.<br />Would you be interested in a happy ending?<br /> <br />How can you tell it’s a girl?<br />Would you be interested in a happy ending?<br /><br /><i>It’s just a popularity contest</i> is something the unpopular say.<br />Would you be interested in a happy ending?<br /><br />“French fries aplenty” is just the beginning. <br />Would you be interested in a happy ending?Elisa Gabberthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10270808520581466353noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3106700536761286842.post-81608532920988143962007-04-24T12:56:00.000-05:002007-04-24T11:22:54.358-05:00After Mike YoungTHE DESERT OF THE REAL<br /><br />I’m one of the millions who bought the single.<br />It’s out there, you just can’t see it.<br /><br />In the absence of hard news, they tell stories to compel you.<br />It’s out there, you just can’t see it.<br /><br />Those billboards in the Southwest announcing “The Thing!”<br />It’s out there, you just can’t see it.<br /><br />You’re creeping me out & I’m avoiding you.<br />It’s out there, you just can’t see it.<br /><br />On car trips we make up sad little games.<br />It’s out there, you just can’t see it.<br /><br />You will get your humble, jocular comeuppance.<br />It’s out there, you just can’t see it.<br /><br />You will know me by the impossible tracks. <br />It’s out there, you just can’t see it.<br /><br />A lightbulb sits on the kernel of the precipice.<br />It’s out there, you just can’t see it.<br /><br />I brace myself but never hear the crash. <br />It’s out there, you just can’t see it.<br /><br />The sunrise is the bright sherbet orange of despair.<br />It’s out there, you just can’t see it.<br /><br />The dirt here wants to be famous. <br />It’s out there, you just can’t see it.<br /><br />The next town on the map is World of Hurt.<br />It’s out there, you just can’t see it.<br /><br />Remember when you finger-drew a heart on my hand. <br />It’s out there, you just can’t see it.Elisa Gabberthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10270808520581466353noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3106700536761286842.post-52414879065928779082007-04-23T15:11:00.000-05:002007-04-23T14:20:04.303-05:00You shall inherit my windIT’S TIME WE HAD A LITTLE TALK<br /><br />It’s wise to wear your best iron mask while<br />waiting for your better half to ask you to <br />the dance. You can’t hand your doppelganger <br />a bouquet of flowers. There was no Happy <br />Hour at Agincourt, when the French were <br />overwhelmed. My mother used to say you<br />can’t get ice cream w/ your slice of life.<br />Do you too believe everything you hear? Fear, <br />you know, is the coin of the realm. I really <br />do really like you! I remember when you tried <br />to make your royal pain available to me. You<br />failed. Then we wrote the same thing on <br />our blogs, about how Twister used to be known <br />as “sex in a box.” We might be astral twins, <br />Spastic. Your slang has to be hardboiled if <br />you want to be a good journalist. The only law <br />is: the law is elastic. By day, you pose as <br />a flaneur; by night, you’re sitting on the floor, <br />cutting the eyes out of all the photos. Guess <br />what--you won another popularity contest, <br />b/c you’re so full of yourself & so cocksure.<br />Did we both have the same dream? Hand <br />in hand, prancing down pavement encrusted <br />w/ pavé diamonds. I’m not a prince anymore <br />& I’ve finally given up on girls named Chiara <br />wearing tiaras. Magical things happen here, <br />in this wooded land. Whatever I find hidden in my <br />hoodie, I chuck off the balcony. I didn’t savor <br />your report--it had the academic crunch of high- <br />school French. Don’t make fun but: I thought <br />of fish: on the last sheet in the ream: one <br />word: <i>fin</i>. It’s hard being king. Sometimes I <br />get smashed like a finger in the door. Like<br />you wouldn’t believe. All this has been yours<br />since the day you were born & even before.Elisa Gabberthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10270808520581466353noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3106700536761286842.post-12599025463110817892007-04-22T10:57:00.000-05:002007-04-22T09:54:07.669-05:00Quatrains! Quatrains! Quatrains! (Well, really just two.)Tell me “Nice hustle” & slap me on the behind--<br />a piece of my ass for a piece of your mind. <br />I just can’t keep chasing after every little prize<br />I spy w/ my little disco-ball eyes.<br /><br />*<br /><br />You can never have too much fulsome excess,<br />especially playing International Daisy Chain.<br />They said it would be like recess for adults.<br />It’s all fun & games until somebody gets pregnant.Elisa Gabberthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10270808520581466353noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3106700536761286842.post-62299383487006976832007-04-21T10:52:00.000-05:002007-04-21T09:55:50.602-05:00We dub ya "Dubya"THE RUNIC WYNN<br /><br />So if sardony is the new irony<br />what’s the new sardony? Pardon me, but<br />WTF is ITN & WTF even is “sardony”?<br />Why TF are we using “W” to mean “what”?<br /> <br />A tiny child, blue-eyed, w/ a tiny mohawk<br />is the cutest thing I can imagine<br />most people can imagine. If one stocks<br />his/her bar w/ enough sloe gin,<br /> <br />one might begin to ask the right questions<br />w/ the right number of syllables--<br />then again, numbers are the bastions<br />of those whose hours are billable. <br /> <br />Abbreviations, BTW,<br />self-defeat when one letter is double-u.Elisa Gabberthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10270808520581466353noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3106700536761286842.post-16954419507911758922007-04-20T10:56:00.000-05:002007-04-20T09:40:58.883-05:00Good luck trying to get my poemSCHOOL OF QUIETUDE<br /><br />The fringe of the fringe is really just the rug.<br /> <br />I always wanted to be one of those quirky people<br />who wear hats w/ the tag still hanging off. <br /> <br />I always thought of Mercator maps as boring<br />until I found out they’re controversial--<br />turns out, geography’s not universal <br /> <br />& the world’s not flat. A small-town girl<br />& her trusty cat know that <i>Here be monsters</i>, <br /><i>X marks the spot</i>, & <i>You are here</i><br />sometimes appear on the dim mall kiosk<br /><br />in place of <i>Out to lunch</i> or <i>Back in five</i>. <br />If this were a zombie movie, the last<br />out of the pool would be the last to survive. <br />To be the last man or woman alive would<br />rule, for about five. Then suck a bunch. <br /><br />Faux wood paneling hugs the room;<br />I feel jealous. Who’s hugging me? Nobody <br />smart, that’s for sure. Nobody reads enough<br />of my diary to understand the irony. <br /><br />No one uses the term “likey-dikey”<br />or knows who played the original Mikey. <br />Ordinarily, the extraordinary structure<br /><br />of my sentences is overlooked & over- <br />fed, while I’m overworked & under-slept.<br /><br />It’s hard & cold down here, under the bed.Elisa Gabberthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10270808520581466353noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3106700536761286842.post-32208852735033911452007-04-19T14:26:00.000-05:002007-04-19T13:20:51.498-05:00Grindhouse: The Poem: THE REVENGE <br /><br />What the axe fails to sever, we never forget<br />to blow away forever. Ready, aim, fire<br />& they drop like birds from a wire. Time <br /><br />to clean up the mess now, high time <br />to ask ourselves, <i>Why so violent?</i> Unforget<br />the past & you’ll remember: the great fire <br /><br />& the manner in which we acquired these fier-<br />y one-track minds. Those were good times <br />when anything we wanted, we were sure to get.<br /><br />Forget about the fire & it burns you in time.Elisa Gabberthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10270808520581466353noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3106700536761286842.post-40571994511726753772007-04-18T12:15:00.000-05:002007-04-18T11:18:17.562-05:00Happy VDHOW RUMORS GET STARTED<br /><br />I told everyone how your semen stings<br />like a bee--a study in honesty if ever-<br />yone believes me. Ends justify means<br />& I’ve wanted to end you ever since <br />I found out what “midden” means<br />& since you were so mean to me <br />unbidden in my comment box;<br />I’d hoped for “foxy” not “trashy”--<br />so what if my ass shows in these jeans?<br />A pox on your scenesterism. & your penis.Elisa Gabberthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10270808520581466353noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3106700536761286842.post-59230080439900106622007-04-17T13:14:00.000-05:002007-04-17T12:11:29.116-05:00Slight, tragic & short-livedMIDDEN OF DREAMS <br /> <br />“Poetic” does not have to mean “confusing,”<br />but it somehow always does. Anon, anon <br />& on & on ‘til the break of dawn, get down<br />from your pedestals & podia & start musing<br />on the scrapheap of sad & beautiful wrecks<br />in your unfinished drafts folder. It’s fodder<br />for soothing the sad & amusing the beautiful<br />w/ an alas here, a forsooth there, & everywhere<br />a hey nonny nonny no. Poems get you laid<br />in your wildest dreams, & pubs get you paid<br />in unicorns & moonbeams. In Plato’s <i>Republic</i><br />questions were encouraged. So, I ask you,<br />thrice removed from the truth & the king, <br />what are you writing/who are you imitating?Elisa Gabberthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10270808520581466353noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3106700536761286842.post-52528214022547636022007-04-16T12:48:00.000-05:002007-04-16T11:49:43.237-05:00Do we look fat in this?BEN ADDRESSES JERRY<br /> <br />The results of the Name That Flavor contest <br />are in, but I’m not going to share them until <br />we figure it out ourselves. What in the hell <br />could sell a name like Summer Pony or <br />Glasgow Coma Scale? I ate a full pail<br />of Crow & I don’t know about you, but<br />I hate ice cream. If I had it to do all over,<br />Americone Dream would be just a dream<br />deferred. & Tequila Mochabird, in a word,<br />would be unheard (of). Listen, Jerry,<br />there is such a thing as too much muchness. <br />This intellectual gamesmanship & vertical<br />scaling is worse than Gone Whaling, worse<br />than Aging Hippie. All the usual blather <br />about fat content & mouth feel now feels<br />like clever manipulation by Unilever<br />or whoever owns us since we last sold out.<br />Don’t shout at me about idealism, Jair--<br />have you even <span style="font-style:italic;">tried </span>Cockblocker’s Paradise?<br />Season after season of busting our blockbusting <br />balls is no reason not to just throw it all<br />into the industrial freezer, dead & wheezing <br />like us two Bartles & Jaymesian old geezers.<br />People-pleasing’s a mug’s game & it bugs me<br />that my job entails playing it, & dealing out <br />desserts like so many drugs makes us thugs.<br />One bite of Kind Bud Krunch could land you <br />w/ a case of munchies strong enough to make<br />the pint self-defeating. Anonymous overeating <br />leads to bigger bodies which leads to more heat;<br /><i>All about entropy</i>’s not much of a slogan. I’m <br />leaving Vermont, becoming Quebecois--<em>au revoir</em>,<br />Americone, w/ your Pee Wee Hermans & Hulk<br />Hogans. The border skulks like a teen in the distance,<br />& you know how teens like their ice cream: <br />sweet like their hearts, cold like their schemes.Elisa Gabberthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10270808520581466353noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3106700536761286842.post-63079763991733478942007-04-15T17:45:00.000-05:002007-04-15T13:24:44.723-05:00April has ides!GENERATION Y WUZ HERE<br /><br />Titles make me shake my head. This is me,<br />forcing the landscape to oscillate. It goes<br />through the string of the tin can phone that we<br />invented as kids, so goddamn long ago.<br /> <br />This is what we spoke about: bespoke suits,<br />missing spokes, Bicycle cards, & what we called<br />token jokes. In the sidewalk, tree roots,<br />unbeknownst to us, were creeping up like skewbald <br /> <br />ponies & the shadows were deepening. <br />We were getting older, the fun was over.<br />Mr. this & Mrs. that started happening,<br />my Fido, your Rover. A box of Russell Stover <br /><br />& a two-leafed-clover. Our luck ran out;<br />we’re the last of the full-time roustabouts.Elisa Gabberthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10270808520581466353noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3106700536761286842.post-3817370230866640002007-04-14T15:24:00.000-05:002007-04-14T14:33:21.339-05:00Ides of April Eve: 14 days, 14 linesCRUELEST MONTH QUATORZAIN<br /><br />I’ve drawn up a list of best practices <br />for those whose MO’s are smart-not-careful,<br />according to these complicated matrices<br />where x = sharp & y = killful,<br /> <br />carved into my desktop w/ a single scissor.<br />Ordering ornamental trees online<br />is another way to kill time, if your job is miser- <br />y incarnate. Rain clouds in the east incline<br /> <br />as though to crush me. That means spring<br />represents the sublime, sprung from a trap<br />like the ghost of a rabbit, the meadowy king<br />of things that multiply. Small birds flap<br /> <br />around in the sky, ultimately meaningless.<br />There’s nothing left to address/confess.Elisa Gabberthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10270808520581466353noreply@blogger.com