Sunflower Mom on a Mission

"Setting the Record Straight"

2008-06-28T20:12:00.000-07:00

Hello,

Just wanted to respond to some of the comments that were received...I was asked to blog about what happens in our house and what some of the daily challenges we are faced with in our home life as well as Brenna's professional life. Because I am involved in an interracial relationship, and my daughter is bi-racial, that is what I discuss. I am in no way trying to tell anyone how to raise their child. I try to do the best I can with my daughter. I am in no way qualified to tell anyone this!! I am not in any way perfect!! Yes, I know that she is part AA and that is why she has the hair she does. But, as far as her hair type, it is different. Different, not being bad, just a different texture. As far as the marketing for this product, I believe it could be used for all ethnicities who have unmanageable hair.

Again, I try to instill good values in my children. They know that it is what is on the inside that counts. Unfortunately, the business that Brenna is in, looks play a very important aspect. It is tough!! I in no way mean to offend anyone. I realize that speaking about ethnicities is a very sensitive subject. I guess because I am so comfortable being with my husband and his family I sometimes forget that I am a "white woman" talking about sensitive issues. I would like to be seen as just a mom of no color just discussing some of the problems that go on in our lives, not because of race, but because of the crazy things that go on in our world!! We all have our opinions and I appreciate yours. Maybe I can learn from you as well.

I also would like to point out that I really appreciate the person who told me about the hair removal product!! I am definitely going to talk to our doctor about it!! ;)
We actually saw the threading being done this weekend at the mall. Brenna wouldn't go anywhere near it!! :) I am sure it works really well but it looked kind of painful. Is it???

Until Next Time,
"Sunflower Mom"

"Requests"

2008-06-01T08:40:00.000-07:00

Hello all,

I have had numerous requests to put up before and after pictures of the product being used on an AA child. Unfortunately, the only way this can happen is if someone who uses the product will send the pictures to me. This blog is my own personal blog about MY family and our daily hair/life issues.

I know that there is an AA on the box, but, I am blogging on behalf of the multi-ethnic side. If you go to the Just For Me website, there is more information there for AA as far as the product goes. I wish I could be of more help with this, but, I could in no way respond to the effects on their hair type. I only know how it affects my daughter's hair. I know there are many who have responded to not liking the product...but, it really works for us!! I wouldn't trade it for the world!!

As far as it being a relaxer, it is my understanding that a relaxer straightens your hair completely. Is this not true? I have never used a relaxer on my daughter's hair. I did have a friend who used one on her daughter's (who is bi-racial) and it did straighten it completely. This texture softener does not. It just makes it more manageable. And yes, we got along okay before this product came along. It just took WAY longer to comb out her hair and it broke off WAY too much!! It doesn't now!! So though it may not work for everyone...it works for us!! :) WE LOVE IT!!!! DON'T LEAVE IT ON LONG!!! This works best!! It makes hair soft and smooth with beautiful curls, but straightens nicely as well!!!

Until Next Time,
"Sunflower Mom"

"New Problem on the Horizon"

2008-05-14T07:39:00.000-07:00

Hello again!!!

Hope this finds everyone well. My household has been VERY busy!! Baseball is going strong with my husband and son...Brenna and I are busy with cheerleading and she has become very busy with modeling in the past two weeks!! She's been doing a lot for JC PENNEY'S!! :) She is having a total blast!!

BUT...we have come across a problem dealing with her headshots!! She was looking at her pictures and she thinks that she has a mustache. She doesn't like the hair above her lip!! She wants something to be done about it. My problem is...what do I do??? I know that there are several options out there, but, personally, I don't think it is a problem. Her hair is darker there because she has dark hair.

I have been trying to ignore this and I try to tell her that it isn't as bad as she thinks...but, she isn't buying it anymore. And to top it off, last week, I had her manager from LA ask about it!!! I WAS SHOCKED!!!! She said that we need to maybe do something about it!!! WOW!!!! I was actually kind of offended!!! I definitely did not say anything to my daughter about this!!

So...here we are. I guess something needs to be done. Anyone have any suggestions?? Have you tried bleaching, waxing, etc??? We have waxed her eyebrows before. She about DIED from the pain!! And what happens after that? Does the hair come back stubbley? If we bleach...won't that look awkward having blonde hair there since she is a brunette?

This is a totally new situation for me...HELP!!! Anyone out there have any suggestions??? I would greatly appreciate it!!! :)

Thank you!!!

Until Next Time,
"Sunflower Mom"

"New News"

2008-04-18T13:15:00.000-07:00

Listen up...JFM posted its first-ever newsletter on their website, jfmvipclub.com! The best part about it is that you moms can print out a copy from home for your daughters. And, there is a special section just for moms to read! Also, JFM launched a blog in January as a resource for African American moms. The link is: www.just-for-moms.blogspot.com. It has great hair tips for African American moms and also some self-esteem messages.

I mention this because I have had many questions in regards to the product for AA children. I feel this will better help those of you who have questions regarding the product and how it works specifically on AA hairtypes.

For those of you who were waiting for me to post pictures of my son...he cut his hair all off again!!! My husband took him. I was sooo upset because first of all, I love his hair longer. Secondly, I really wanted to put the texture softener on his hair to see how it would work. Maybe later on in the summer he will let it grow out so that I can use it! :) His hair type is way more coarse than Brenna's so I really wanted to test it on his hair.

Until Next Time...
"Sunflower Mom"

"Straightening Brenna's Hair"

2008-04-08T06:04:00.000-07:00

I actually straightened Brenna's hair 2 times this week!! That is how easy it is now! She had to do headshots Thursday and Friday. I wanted some pictures with her hair curly and also some with her hair straight.

Well, Thursday, we took pictures with it curly. I straightened it Thursday night for pictures on Friday. It only took about 35-40 minutes(I will explain how I do it later!) When we looked at the pictures from Thursday, with it curly, the lighting wasn't good, so...after taking pictures with her hair straight, I wet it to get it curly again so that we could get some better shots! She was not happy!! She wanted to keep her hair straight. So, I told her that I would straighten it again for her! I WOULD HAVE NEVER OF DONE THIS IN THE PAST!!!! It took way too long and was way to hard!! So, I straightened it for her again Saturday morning!! I timed it and it took 45 minutes!! That was from getting her out of the bath with her hair soaking wet and drying it and straightening it!! PRETTY GOOD!!! It also straightened out nicely!! What I mean by that is no frizzing. It was smooth and silky!!

So now to how I straighten it...I actually tried a new technique this time. It worked really well. First, I put the Just For Me Smoothing Gel in her hair (I use a lot of this, especially at the front of her head by her hairline)!! Next, I parted her hair separating the top half from the bottom half. I always start at the bottom and work my way up. After that, I would take about a 3 inch section of her hair and comb it smooth. While holding the end of it with my hand (to keep it straight), I would blow dry that section. Then I apply this shine serum. I believe it is from Neutrogena. I will check when I get home!! After I put that on, I use a straightening iron to straighten her hair. It is not one of the expensive ones either!! It is the wet/dry one you can buy at WalMart or Walgreen's!

So I continue to do this section by section working my way up to the top of her head. Brenna will sit and watch tv or read a book!! It is really very simple!! I have posted one of the shots so you can see how it turned out!! The last picture I posted was done at a photo shoot for Bloomingdale's! By a professional hair stylist! The one posted here is of her hair done by me!! :)

Until Next Time,
"Sunflower Mom"

"New Products"

2008-03-26T11:44:00.000-07:00

Hello!!

Just curious if anyone has had a chance to use the two new products? I really don't even know if they are out in the stores yet. But, I do know that they are giving them away for free on the jfmvipclub.com website!! You should really take advantage of this!! They really help manage Brenna's hair.

It was funny...yesterday, she had to go be put on film for a monologue. When she finished, the casting director came out and kept on talking about how good her hair looked on camera. She kept on about how shiney and healthy it looked! (We had just used the JFM products)!!! As I said before, I used to use the ProLine comb thru moisturizer...but, since Just For Me has come out with these two new products, we have switched!! No more having to use a man's product on my little girls hair!

Oh...my son is also letting his hair grow out!! I am going to try the texture softener on his hair here pretty soon!! I will let you know how it turns out!! :)

I hope everyone had a wonderful Easter!!

Until Next Time,
"Sunflower Mom"

"Update"

2008-03-03T09:54:00.000-08:00

Just wanted to let everyone know that I finally got in touch with MySpace and they finally removed the fake site!! I was not able to find out who put the site up. I would have to go to the police station and file a report because they cannot release that information to me because of privacy laws. Can you believe that??? It would be a long drawn out process. The police would of had to gotten with MySpace and they would have to get that information from them to get to me.

I wanted to know who did it...but, I wanted it off of there immediately! I would like to thank MSI Strategies for also helping in this situation!!

OH...IMPORTANT NEWS!!!!! Just For Me is coming out with 2 new hair products!! We were sent samples and they are absolutely wonderful!! One is a curl smoother. It helps soften tangles and helps define the curls. The other is a smoothing gel. It strengthens the hair and helps control the "frizzies"!

I actually use both of them on Brenna's hair. After she gets out of the bath, I put the curl smoother on her hair to help comb it out. Then I put the smoothing gel on and scrunch her hair gently!! The smoothing gel is not sticky and it really helps control her hair after a long day at school!!

Go to the Just For Me website to check it out!!! It is jfmvipclub.com!!!

Until Next Time,
"Sunflower Mom"

"The Wonderful World of Technology"

2008-02-20T19:25:00.000-08:00

Hello All,

I thought you might be interested in this...We found out not too long ago that someone has/had set up a myspace account under my daughter's name. There were pictures on the site that were definitely taken from her pictures that are on specific websites for modeling and so forth. Apparently, the site was set up when she was only 9!!! We just found out about it not too long ago!! The scarey thing is, is that you can't get in touch with anyone from myspace. You can email problems or report them...but so far...NOTHING!!! I have not heard a word from them!!

There were numerous conversations on her site between whoever set it up (pretending to be her) and older men from who knows where!!! This really scared my daughter. We talked about it...but, it just so happens that this week at our school, it is bully free week. The kids went and watched a cyberbullying video showing how easy it is to find someone on the internet!! Well, that really freaked her out!! She came down so my room bawling!! She was SOOO scared that someone was going to come into our house and steal her.

I feel in my heart that it is someone that knows her. There was actually a letter on the site and they were pretending to be her mother and father saying that they/we allowed her to have the site and to not make fun of her because she was on Barney along with other comments!! CRAZY!!! Numerous mispelled words!!! It is obvious that it was written by a kid but they also knew too much personal information about her. I will keep trying to find out who did it but I just want parents to know how easy it is for someone to take your information and make it their own...even a child's.

What a scarey world we live in now!!

Until Next Time,
"Sunflower Mom"

"Using the Texture Softener"

2008-02-19T19:32:00.000-08:00

Hello!!

Just wanted to share this with the last person who commented on thinking they left the product on their child's hair too long. She thinks that she left it on too long and her daughter's curls loosened more than she wanted them too. You really have to be careful and make sure that you read the directions for the time really carefully. What is hard is that you start on one side of the head so the product is left on longer on that side. This actually happened to me!! I took too long to get to the other side of Brenna's hair and it loosened the curl more than the other side.

Don't worry, though. It only took about a week and a half for it to curl back up even with the other side. You also need to make sure that you don't comb through the hair repeatedly. Also, using a bottle of the sunflower oil on the hair before you apply the product really helps with my daughter's hair type. I know, of course, that our kids all have different hair textures. Kids of mixed heritage have ALL types of textures. I have found that this is what works best for Brenna's hair!!

I know that there are many people that feel this product will damage the hair, but, I know for a fact it does not. We are soo happy that Brenna booked this job!! It has truly become a blessing in our household when dealing with hair issues!!! :)

Until Next Time...
"Sunflower Mom"

Thank you!!

2008-02-10T09:33:00.000-08:00

I would like to thank those who responded to my alligator skin post!! You had wonderful suggestions. We have tried the baby oil and it seems to be working! It is a baby oil wash. I do have to say, though, that I upset my daughter when she heard that I posted her problem.

Last year it didn't seem to bother her, but, I guess this year with her being older, it really did! She was mad that I was letting everyone know her problem. I really felt bad about it. We had a talk about it and I see her point. So...I will be discussing posts with her (if they are specifically about her) before I blog!

But, I do have to say that she was thankful to all of the suggestions. Especially that it is working for her!! :)

Until Next Time,
"Sunflower Mom"

"Alligator Skin"

2008-01-31T20:19:00.000-08:00

Hello!!

I hope everyone has had a wonderful week. It has been a very fast week for us!! The weather has also been crazy!! 50 mile an hour wind gusts, freezing cold weather and now I just saw on the news that it is going to be 76 on Monday!! You just gotta love Texas!! :)

The winter weather brings me into my topic today and also what we have been discussing at our house this week...alligator skin!! With all of this dry, cold weather, it seems to be causing problems with my daughter's skin. Her legs are sooo dry and it doesn't matter how much lotion or oil she puts on them, they still look VERY scaley. They are not ashy, but just look very scaley. Almost like she really does have scales. I honestly have never seen anything like it before. Our whole family gets really dry skin in the winter, but, with a little bit of lotion, or baby oil, it softens it up. I don't know what is going on with her legs. It is very strange and now it is making her very self conscious of them. Especially at cheer practice when she wears shorts.

If anyone can give me some tips...I would, or should I say, Brenna would appreciate it!! :) It was funny, the other day I walked into the bathroom and she was putting the Just For Me conditioner on her legs!! She is trying everything in the house. The wierd thing is is that it is only on her legs. It isn't like that anywhere else on her body.

Moving on to another subject...I am thiking about trying the Just For Me Texture Softener on my son's hair. He wants me to put it on his hair and see if it will help with the the dry, wirey texture of his hair. Of course, I love his hair. Except right now, he has it shaved. He has beautiful curls...and my husband shaved them all off at his request. He wants to grow it longer, but he doesn't like how curly it gets when he grows it out. He thinks it makes him look like a little kid. He is going to let it grow though so I can apply it to his hair. I will let you know how it turns out in a few weeks!!

Well, it is getting late!! Gotta get some sleep!! :)

Until Next Time,
"Sunflower Mom"

"A New Year"

2008-01-27T10:00:00.000-08:00

Hello again,

I know it has been a while since I have posted, but, it is a new year and we are ready to go full speed ahead!! :) Many of you have had questions about the product and so I will try to catch up to speed with you in the following months.

First, I would like to catch you up to date on my daughter's last 6 months. She has been quite busy with modeling and acting. It is funny...some of the clients want her hair to be straight while others damand that she come with it curly. Thank
goodness for this product because it allows her hair to be styled both ways and look really good. Before the product, when we would straighten it, it would still be frizzy. Now, it is sooo shiney and looks like it could really be naturally straight. When we took Christmas pictures, her hair was so shiney and beautiful straight. I didn't really pay much attention to it until my mom and cousin made the comment about how healthy and shiney her hair looked while they were looking at the pictures. It has really never looked like this before. It is amazing!!

On the other hand, all she has to do is wash it and back come the curls!! Which, of coarse, is my favorite way that she wears her hair. I think she looks too grown up with her hair straight. I think that is one of the reasons why she likes it like that. Kids always want to grow up to fast!!

She actually booked a Twister High School Musical commercial which aired on Disney and Nick. For this, the clients wanted her hair straight because they wanted the girls to look older. They also like her hair straight at Bloomingdale's. You can actually see pictures of her on their website right now under the kids section. You can see how nice her hair looks.

She just did a cheerleading catalogue shoot this past week where the client called 3 times to make sure that she came with her hair curly. Her agency also requested that her hair be curly in the headbook. Again, they want her to look younger!! :)

So I guess what I am getting at is that it is so nice to be able to interchange between her hairstyles. I no longer have to spend 2 hours straightening it. I did it the other day in 30 minutes!! A new record time!! Also, when she wears it curly, I no longer have to do her hair for her!! This really frees up my mornings to work on myself!! :)

I think that she is also beginning to realize how lucky she is. She has "the best of both worlds!!"

Until Next Time...
"Sunflower Mom"

Message from the Hair Care Expert: Why Texture Softener is NOT a relaxer

2007-08-28T09:22:00.000-07:00

There has been a decade long misconception about relaxers, texturizers and now Texture Softener. In essence a relaxer is designed to take the hair from A to Z. That is to straighten any type of over-curly hair...100% straight. To get the hair straight, you have to use a manual process, by smoothing it out either using your hands or a comb. Alternatively, the Texture Softener has the same basic technology, but you do not use the hand or comb to straighten the hair. Texture Softener is buffered by the exclusive anti-breakage Sunflower Oil Formula which acts to gently protect the texture of the hair and infuse moisture throughout the process, yielding a much different product AND OUTCOME. Realizing that there had to be a happy medium between 100% straight and 100% natural, the makers of Just For Me saught to develop a safe, gentle way that would give mom's an alternative. The Texture Softener in essence gives a girl the best of both worlds; hair thats easy to comb, soft and managable with ability to retain her natural texture.

2007-07-25T15:25:00.000-07:00

Can you use the Just For Me Texturizer to "Define Curls"? Yes it can. Just follow instructions as outlined for the application. Then, to define curls for daily wear, apply the Just For Me 2 in 1 Conditioner on damp hair. For firmer curls, also foam in a small amount of the Motions Light Styling Foam. Scrunch hair to sculpt in the level of curl or wave pattern desired. Let it air dry or use a difusser attachment to your blow dryer to lock in curls. Don't touch curls after it dries.

If hair is very thick and dry, apply the Just For Me Oil Moisturizing Lotion to damp hair FIRST, then follow the styling techniques above.

Good Styling!

"New Role Model"

2007-05-20T21:51:00.000-07:00

Go Jordan Sparks!!!

My daughter is sooo excited to see Jordan Sparks in the finals of American Idol!! She said the other day...Look mom, she is just like me!!!

Soooo glad to see more people of mixed heritage in the spotlight!!! :) It really makes my daughter feel good!!! :)

Until Next Time (again)
"Sunflower Mom"

"The Time Has Come!!"

2007-05-20T21:23:00.000-07:00

Hello!!

Well, my daughter is leaving for camp tomorrow with her entire fourth grade class and will be gone for 3 days. Now will be the true test!! I will not be there to help her with her hair. YIKES!!! It is a good thing that we just applied the texture softener last week. Otherwise, it would be impossible for her to comb out her hair! There will be a camp sponsor there...but, of coarse no one really knows how to do her hair the "right way". My daughter told me not to worry!! She said that she has it all under control.

We will see!! :) My husband will be there but he will be with the boys and is not allowed in the girls cabin. Also, the girls are getting to the age where they want to do their own hair their own way. I am not to sure how the other kids would react to having her dad have to do her hair. I am sure she would not let him anywhere near her!! It would be too embarrassing for her.

I know that she will be able to do it!! Thanks to the Just For Me TS!! I promise you...this stuff still amazes me. We brush out her hair after she gets out of the tub and there is NO HAIR in the hair brush!!! I have more hair in the brush after doing my hair than she does. It is crazy to me how it works!!

I told my husband to take pictures of her daily so that I can see how her hair looks!! I will post them on the site so that you can see the results. I have no doubt that she will do a good job. If it wasn't for this product, though, I would have been very worried!! It is supposed to rain everyday this week and usually when it rains, her hair turns into a frizzball!!

I am anxious to see the results!!

Well, I have got to go and get finished packing them!! :) Will post more later!!

Until Next Time,
"Sunflower Mom"

"Questions and Answers"

2007-05-08T19:56:00.000-07:00

In the past few weeks, I have had several questions regarding the use of the product and also reapplying the product. This is what I found works for my daughter's specific hair type.

First, when I applied it to my daughter's hair the second time, I applied it to her entire hair (not just the new growth). BUT...I used two whole bottles of the sunflower oil. This is what I did that worked for me: I applied one full bottle of sunflower oil to her hair while it was dry and gently combed out her hair. I then applied the product to her hair per the directions. I do not have to leave the texture softener on her hair long because of her specific hair texture. Again, that is what I found to work for my daughter's hair.

Second, for the one whose results ended up straightening the curls a little more than you would have liked, this is what I have also tried. Do not apply the texture softener on her hair until the tightness of the curls go back to the way you like them. As far as managing her hair in the meantime...I have applied the sunflower oil onto her hair and used it as an oil treatment. It helped with combing out her hair and helping with the breakage. When you use the product again, make sure that you do a tester on a small section of her hair before you use it on the entire head. That way you can judge how long you need to leave the product on the hair to get the results you want. It will not straighten the hair entirely, but it will loosen the curls quite a bit depending how long you leave the produt on. Again, I can only speak for what I have found to work on my daughter's hair and her texture type. I hope this helps you. If you still have questions, I can have our hair specialist blog to let you know what she thinks from a professional stand point! :)

All I know is that when I use this product, it absolutely makes it 10,000 times easier to comb out her hair and helps prevent breakage. My daughter lets me know when it is time to reapply because she starts having a hard time combing out her hair herself!!

Believe me, if I didn't trust the product, I would not use it. With my daughter being in the modeling business...her hair is one of her best assets. It is actually what helps her book jobs so I would never put a product on her hair that I wasn't sure of the outcome.

I hope this helps with some of the questions and concerns. Again, you can visit the Just For Me webite where there is a q&a section as well as an instructional video for applying the product.

Until Next Time,
"Sunflower Mom"

"Positively Texas"

2007-04-15T19:36:00.000-07:00

Hello!!

Just an update...My daughter and I appeared on a local television show which aired this morning. We were invited on to discuss the issues of raising multi-ethnic children. Overall, I think the interview went really well. We were able to mention the product on the show!! :) I hope the word gets out even more!!

I am amazed at all of the responses that have been coming in. I know that this product may not work for everyone...but for the majority...it has been nothing but positive!! I AM SOO HAPPY!! I also appreciate all of your advice dealing with the "hairy" issues. I have noticed lately, though, that she has been wanting to wear her hair straight and/or down all of the time. The more I thought about it, I think that she is trying to hide her neck. We actually had a long discussion this afternoon about this. It has REALLY affected her more than I thought. We did have a talk about how boys usually say things or will chase and hit you because they like you. They just don't have the social skills yet. That is their way of saying they like you...by teasing you. She finally realized that. She knows that it is what is on the inside that counts but she is VERY sensitive when it comes to her being hairy. We actually made a big decision this weekend and my husband and I let her shave her legs. She wouldn't even wear shorts because of the black hair on her legs. That really helped boost her self esteem. The first thing she said was, "I can wear shorts now!!"

My mom is actually the one who suggested that we let her shave. I really didn't want her to until she was at least 12. I had told her about the teasing at school so they had a discussion about it at her bowling night. My sister-in-law and my mom said that if it would make her feel more confident...then to let her do it. THAT WAS BIG NEWS!!! :) I was trying to remember how old I was when I started to shave. I do not like the fact that she is growing up. It is very depressing!! :(

Oh well...I did want to address one of the comments that I did receive the other day. My daughter had really tight springy soft curls when she was younger. I really thing you should try the product and also use the pro-line comb thru moisturizer. It really helps weight down and tame the hair especially with the texture softener. You have to make sure that you read the time directions. The product will not take out the curls, but it also depends of the results you want. If you want to tame the frizzies and make it easier to manage, as far as combing it out, but still keep it really curly...don't keep it in as long. If you leave the product in longer, it will lengthen the curls and the hair will hang longer. We actually left the product in a little longer the last time we used it (because she had her hair cut on Barney and they chopped it). It helped make her hair hang longer. Also, you might want to try using 2 bottles of the sunflower oil. Use a complete bottle on the hair before you use the product and then mix as the instuctions tell you. We have tried it several ways!! It ALWAYS makes her hair easier to comb and way less breakage.

I hope this helps!!

HAPPY HAIR
"Sunflower Mom"

How Do I Reduce The Volume In My Daughters Hair?

2007-04-06T11:53:00.000-07:00

BRINGING DOWN THE VOLUME

Does your child have soft, waves that are too full and volumous? Many kids do. It’s not coarse or difficult to comb, but it so thick and full that it over takes your child’s face. Consider these tips;

SHAMPOO
Avoid shampooing everyday (unless swimming or in sports activity). Over-shampooing tends to dry the hair and scalp. Unless she has an oily scalp, try to limit shampooing to every couple of days.

BLOWDRYING
Don’t blow dry hair from wet to dry, instead, apply a leave in conditioner then comb hair down smooth. Let hair dry under a hooded dryer from 80% to completely dry. *for fine to medium hair, sparingly add the Just For Me Hair and Scalp Conditioner *for coarser textures, add the Just For Me Oil Moisturizer on damp hair before drying. Both are great at smoothing and controlling volume.

NIGHT TIME CARE
Wrap, tie or cover hair at night to maintain the smoothness and reduce frizziness. A satin scarf or wrap cap from your local beauty supply are great alternatives.

SCHOOL MORNING MADNESS
Try not to rewet hair in the mornings. If you must, just lightly mist with the Leave In Conditioner. Otherwise, dab some of the Just For Me Hair and Scalp Conditioner ( flat ironed straight hair) or Crème Conditioner. (for wavy/curly hair). In the palm of your hands and smooth down frizz.

I will have some before and after photos for you soon of some moms and daughters who took my advice. In the meantime, have a Happy Easter!

Roz

Dr. Jeff Gardere's Advice on Teasing and Name Calling

2007-04-05T07:33:00.000-07:00

Hi! It's the Moderator again! I've been monitoring the conversation about children picking on other children because they seem different. So I asked our clinical psychologist Dr. Jeff Gardere to chime in on the discussion to give you Sunflower Moms and Sunflower Girls some tips on how to deal with it. Here is what he had to say:

"Yes, kids can be very cruel especially around the issues of name calling. The fact is they do not yet have the skills to censor their thoughts, so what we are basically left with is a verbal diarrhea; everything comes flying out. Also,because of their immaturity they do not know how to express their unbridled,sometimes hormone filled, hyperactive, emotions in an appropriate manner. So they may actually like or are attracted to another kid, but instead of saying “I like you,” they will instead pull a pigtail, punch a shoulder, or say something rude and obnoxious. It's part of their long road to maturity!

"What we need to do as parents is to help our kids better interpret, understand, express and verbalize their feelings in a more civil, loving and appropriate manner. At the same time we can also talk to our kids and prepare them for the ievitability of being taunted by other kids because of their appearance. Primarily we should get them to verbalize what has been said to them and how it makes them feel. That in itself is a great release and balm to their hurt feelings. It also gives us the opportunity to have “conversations” in order to help them understand what the taunting may actually mean and most importantly that the name calling is irrelevant, often harmless, and part of the outrageous slings and arrows of growing up."
--Dr. Jeff
If you have questions for Dr. Jeff, feel free to pose them in your comments to this post. Thanks, Dr. Jeff!
The Moderator

"Sunflower Girl...Again!!"

2007-04-02T19:29:00.000-07:00

Hi to everyone who reads this! Just a few weeks ago this kid who use to sit by me in class told me that I have a mustache, and a hairy neck. But I told him "you can say anything about me because it does not offend me at all." later on that week he told me this too, hey Brenna, your mother is white and your father is black so that makes you mixed! then they started to laugh a little . I felt very depressed but I tried not to let it show on my face. I don't understand why kids have to be so mean to people. How would they like it if somebody came up to them unexpectedly and just "Hey your mother is black and your father is chinese than that makes you blanese." My mom and dad tell me that I am special and I should be proud to be different than everybody else because that is a good thing.I know that they are right but it is so hard to ignore them.
It is late so I have to go because my mom said I have to go to bed.
Talk to you later, Sunflower Girl!!!

"Mean Kids"

2007-03-13T12:02:00.000-07:00

Hello,

I hope all is well out there in the hair world. Everything is well here with the exception of "boys" entering into the picture!! I didn't think it would happen this soon...but she is in the fourth grade. I know that my daughter has a crush on two little boys at her school. Well, I accidentally found a letter that she had written. It said that one of the boys that liked her doesn't anymore because she has a hairy neck and a mustache! Can you believe?? Not only do we have to worry about the hair on her head, now its her neck and face. What do you do or say?? This is a new one for me. Yes, she is kind of hairy on her neck but it shows up more because her hair is dark. I feel so bad for her. She would never say anything to me about it and I dare not say anything to her because I don't want her to think that I am prying into her business. She wrote in her letter that she told him that everybody is hairy and has hair on their face. I know that it hurt her though.

How come kids are so mean to each other? I don't understand. Has anyone experienced this with their child? If so, please share. This is a first for me...the boy issue. I don't even want to think about my baby girl and boys!!! Oh my!!!

On another note...I really appreciate the comments and support that you all have been giving to each other. You all have some really good advice! I think it is great that we have a place that we can come to share and help each other.

I would still love to have pictures to post on the site of before and after pictures. Not only do I want pictures of kids, but of adults as well who have used the Texture Softener!!

PS...HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!!! :)

Until next time,
"Sunflower Mom"

Looking for a NYC-area multi-ethnic family for national talk show

2007-03-02T15:13:00.000-08:00

Greetings...
If you know a family that has a mixed-heritage daughter of African-American descent between the ages of 4 and 11 years old that lives in the NYC area who is struggling with self-esteem or identity issues especially as it is tied to day-to-day hair care, please contact us. We are attempting to help a national talk show in planning for a "self-esteem make over" show featuring our Sunflower Advisory Board's clinical psychologist, Dr. Jeff Gardere. If you want some insights into the topics that will be discussed, please visit www.texturesoftener.com and click on the Advice for Moms tab. The Conversation Starters that you find there will be core to the show. If you know a family like this, or if this describes you, please write to us by responding to this post. We'd also like to view pictures of you and the whole family...but please do not post phone numbers on the blog....just an e-mail address will be fine. We'll be in touch with you soon!

The Moderator

Beautiful "Natural" Hair Still Needs A Little Help

2007-03-01T19:55:00.000-08:00

Don't let your desire to be true to your "natural" hair, make you feel guilty for trying to make your hair manageable. Some beleive that "natural"is best, that is hair with nothing on it? Curly hair restricts the flow of oil to the scalp, simply because of the curvature of the follicle beneath the scalp. The result is hair that tends to deflect light, look dull, dry and lacks moisture.... what happens when you comb it without anything on it........it pops off. Why should you consider using a product like Texture Softener on your child's hair?

1)to reduce the time it takes to comb and style it,
2)to reduce the stress and pulling on your child's tender scalp,
3)your daughters hair swells and frizzes when she wears it down,
4)your daughter is ready to start styling and caring for her own hair,
5)if you want to make her hair is manageable, while keeping some of the natural curl pattern and you're not quite ready to relax it straight.

I applaud you for teaching your child that her natural hair is beautiful and you want to make it even better.

If you aren't ready for a Texture Softener, but still require a little help with manageability, try the Just For Me Oil Moisturizer and the 2in 1 Conditioning Detangler on damp hair. When used together, they'll help soften and moisturize your daughters hair.

TIP:When detangling the hair, remember to section hair and comb it out from the ends and work your way up.

Anonymous - Son with curly hair

2007-03-01T19:30:00.000-08:00

About your sons hair, I would recommend cutting the straight hair off, down to the curly part. I am sure that it would be a lot neater. He could use Just For Me on his hair. Just shampoo it, towel dry, mist some of the 2 in 1 Conditioning Detangler...then massage a little of the Just For Me Oil Moisturizing Lotion on the hair while it's still damp.