Let Your Dream Begin

Citrus At Social Hollywood

2008-03-03T15:38:00.000-08:00

I recently received a beautiful envelope and inside it a stunning card, sent as a generous invitation to preview Social Hollywood's phenomenal new restaurant, Citrus, by Michel Richard. The Chef De Cuisine being Remi Lauvand. And how could I refuse to see and taste these new wonders while enjoying an evening out with my business partner and husband, Jon?

Jon and I stepped out into the night knowing only to expect the wonderful care, concern and service always provided by Social and their excellent staff. When we got there, the atmosphere was abuzz with the new remodel and the famous comforts we're used to (the green room, the billiard room and lounge, and the banquet club). The restaurant has a totally new feel, while keeping the charm and style we're all used to from Social. The ceiling is now front and center in the design and the colors are fresh and warm. Every element was well designed with a lot of thought and love. Loving the previous space, I was a little sad hearing it was being remodeled, but the changes have just increased the beauty and accessibility of the restaurant. It certainly has the approval of Encantare!

We made our reservation for the sample dinner, and when we sat down, I'll admit I was a little apprehensive. The selection made by the Chef was a wonderful paring of foods, but nothing that I eat (being very picky about meats, growing up on a farm where animals were pets, not food...). However, knowing there would be culinary surprises that night, I took it in stride.

First on the docket, a beet and raw tuna salad. Now, I HATE beets. My dad, he loves em, LOVES EM! I HATE EM! And Jon doesn't care for them either. But that salad came to the table and I put my fork in and said I'd try one bite. Two clean plates later, Jon and I sat in shock and awe....we like beets (at least these beets). The salad changed everything. I even ate the raw tuna (no, I don't eat Sushi either). The parings in the salad were like nothing I've ever had before in my life, and I can't describe it, suffice to say, it's wonderful-go try it for yourself!

Second on the docket, lamb in a jalapeno sauce and an orange duck dish. Now I don't eat lamb or duck...I just don't. But the sauce on the lamb was so full of flavor without the overpowering heat of a hot pepper, it was just all FLAVOR. Jon enjoyed the dishes...and then we found out there was dessert. All I have to say is (and it's hard to say with your mouth full of chocolate mouse and mint malt ball filled meringue "eggs") WOW! Eat them all. But, remember the meringue is my favorite, but I don't think there was an option to go wrong with! I'm even dreaming of their desserts still, which means that we'll be making another trip very soon. Perhaps I can put the bug out there that I have a birthday coming up?! :)

Regardless of what you do or who you are, please make it a priority to visit and enjoy Social Hollywood's Citrus restaurant. Eat to your heart's content. And while you're there, make sure to make an appointment to speak with Ani Avanessian (Special Events Sales Manager) or Melissa Darpino (Director of Catering) about any upcoming event, large or small, you have coming up in your life!

Something Blue

2008-01-12T19:39:00.001-08:00

I've heard many conflicting things regarding color trends for the new year, some say that brides have had enough of the bright hues and are going back to whites and creams, some say that light colors provided in nature will prevail, and some others say that the bright hues and jewel tones are in this year. So, who really knows where the trends will take us. But I've found a color that can be an accent or a bold color choice to build a wedding around.

The color blue has become quite a gem lately. I'm not talking about the lovely light blue hues you see in baby showers, find in true blue flowers straight from nature, or even the background color Encantare uses for it's website and print. I'm talking about the darker hues from aqua to royal blue and even deeper into Navy blue.

I recently took out different shades, tones and hues in blue color swatches and started playing with them against white, ivory, beige, silver, and gold. Then I put them against the lighter nature colors like lavender, peony pinks, moss and mint green...and the brown that has prevailed in popularity for the last couple of years. Then I made some more bold matches with bright yellow, burnt orange, fire engine red, fuchsia pink and chartreuse. The color blue and its many hues have a magic ability to accompany, accent or accentuate almost every other color combination that you can throw at it. It is also a color that can pull the weight of a wedding on its own.

As I continue to put new colors together to create more palates for clients to choose from, I will keep blue in my back pocket. Not only is it a great surprise for brides, but grooms are happy to have at least one thing that makes them a little more comfortable in the planning process...even if it is paired with a precious pink.

My Own Wedding News!

2008-01-01T17:03:00.000-08:00

Forgive me please for the lack of blog posting. This has been a very busy time for me! I finally found time amid my clients' weddings, The Wedding Salon, the KTLA segment, upcoming holidays and all other work and life commitments, to make a life long commitment of my own to my best friend and now husband.

We married on Sunday, November 11, 2007 (Veterans' Day) after a weekend of joyous events and reunions, surrounded by family and friends, amid the misty morning fog. Saying vows high atop the clock tower at the Historic and majestic Santa Barbara Court House was an unforgettably tearful, happy and peaceful event.

I wore a simple dress, wrapped in a pink silk pashima to quell the cold and damp fog, and he wore a gray suit, silver shirt and tie to match my dress. Mark, our florist (please contact me for his information), created a beautiful bouquet for me full of hand panted roses and a handle of wrapped pearls. He also made each and every guest flowers of their own, as we wanted them all to feel as though they were our "wedding party"...which, looking back on it, they all were.

The ceremony was presided over by Judge Clifford Anderson, who did a wonderful job of helping our dream come true. And as we took photos on the Court House steps and in the hallways, the sun started to peek out from the clouds (giving us a hint of what the next day would bring). With the morning's formalities out of the way, and our tummies rumbling, the group headed down to share a meal, memories and joy together.

We spent only a few hours planning our weekend of wedding related events, but that didn't mean it had to be bare bones...Disneyland, the Griffith Park Observatory, Ribs USA, Stella Mares, a night-time pier walk and light evening meal were all a part of the four days we spent with our various guests.

We had a very small, intimate group of guests, including only our main family members, and two sets of friends that have become family over the last decade. We even made things more intimate by asking one of our dear friends to take our wedding photos (he is a still photographer by trade). By having such a limited amount of guests to share our moment with, we were able to convey their meaning in our lives and spend time with each and every guest. Because we are a couple who is very faithful to one another and to our friends and family members, it was certainly important to us that each guest feel like they were a welcomed part of something unforgettable and will always be in our hearts.

While there was no dancing, no music, no cake...we did have a very special ceremony that included each and every guest in a very subtle way, we had an afternoon meal at the fabulous Stella Mares restaurant there in Santa Barbara, and spent a lovely night in a hotel on the water-recalling every second of our most precious day. Everyone enjoyed themselves, enjoyed each other, and enjoyed the smells, tastes, feelings, and other people around them. The experience there will leave me searching for this for all of my clients, even in larger venues.

We walked that night, Veterans' Day, on the pier looking at the crosses set up on the beach symbolizing the lives taken in our current conflict overseas...and we prayed for each family member, each friend, each mother, father, son, daughter, and each and every soldier that has ever served our country in the name of freedom. We pray for a soon and safe return for the soldiers still serving. Our wedding day will not only be full of our own memories but it will also serve as a memory for the serving and for the fallen.

Weddings Can Go Green Too

2007-12-10T21:47:00.000-08:00

As I've been investigating carbon-credit programs for my new "Green Storage" project over at Vino Veritas, it's interesting to find TerraPass listing a carbon offset program for weddings!

So here's a link to a page from Terrapass where you can (guess)estimate the carbon footprint of your wedding (and conveniently buy a carbon offset for it).

Relationships & Trust

2007-12-08T16:21:00.000-08:00

As I mentioned in a prior post, it's an Encantare policy that we don't accept kickbacks or "commisssions" from vendors we send clients to for portions of their event services.

However, there are vendors with whom we have established relationships that we do like to take client to because we have a history of work with them where they have delivered on their obligations creatively & professionally.

Good business is very much driven by relationships and the amount of trust, or distrust within that relationship.

Building trust between human beings (and therefore companies) takes time, and is only proven by the level of work done over that period of time. There is no other way to obtain trust.

That being said, that trust is also one of the reasons that I'm happy to work with Brynn's business. It's not just that I'm her husband "being supportive."

This is also one of the primary reasons that I'm glad to have Brynn's support with Vino Veritas. She has contributed much to the space and resource planning that will help make the event spaces at our facilities highly functional and easy to use for events.

Most people who know me know that I tend to be pretty black or white about whether something is actually good or not good and it's because I think Brynn & her staff are very good at what they do that I support and try to help Encantare continue to grow.

The Time It Takes

2007-12-06T19:22:00.000-08:00

For brides wondering why it is that coordinating and design packages cost what they do, a recent article (linked above) puts the time of planning a wedding at approximately 250 hours of work.

Now, hiring a coordinator with some experience, will hopefully trim that number by maybe 50 hours, but it often still does clock in at 250 hours, sometimes 300 hours to provide full coordinating services to a client.

So for anyone who's thinking they're overpaying for their coordinators services, even at a lower range budget of $20,000 for a wedding, and a 15% fee for your coodinator, that means you are paying your coordinator $12.00 per hour.

Even at a $40,000 wedding, we're still talking about only $24 per hour, and if a wedding coordinator was booked year round at that rate, that's less than $50,000 a year for a business owner that still has to pay for their own office, travel time, gas in running clients around to locations, and paying their own healthcare expenses.

Think about that for a minute in the context of all the other money being budgeted for your wedding, where you are paying your DJ $1000 or more for 6 hours of work, or the photographer & videographer thousands above that for many hours less work.

So for anyone who thinks that an event coordinator is an extravagant expense, try to think about it in context when you're budgeting for your special event or wedding.

We try very hard to craft packages for clients that are fair, and save brides time and money, and often times doing that while keeping a real business afloat means that I work extra hours for the company that are never billed, and Brynn works many extra hours so that we can keep providing the service that she's passionate about.

In fact, our full coordination packages don't even bill for hours unless it goes over 500 hours in our full package. On top of that, we do not, and will not ever accept kick backs from vendors. Your $1500 coordinator may only take you to two or three vendors for your location, and they may very likely get money paid back to them by those vendors for taking their clients there, and that's how it works.

Encantare does not engage in this practice in any way as we believe it can only lead to limitation of our clients choices and has the potential to create conflicts of interest.

One of Brynn's recent clients was taken to over 17 different sites before choosing one. This just comes with the territory, but we have to package and bill fairly for these kinds of things.

It's important that we keep our "interest" in our client's event the first and foremost consideration in every transaction and appointment.

We hope that those hours spent result in a memorable and stress-less event for our clients.

Advertising in the 21st Century

2007-12-05T11:35:00.001-08:00

As a big Cluetrain believer, I can't help but agree that marketing today is a conversation, and I would rather learn about a companies services and products through something constructive, than from a traditional "pushed" message.

That said, Brynn and I have both checked out forums around the web where we could contribute knowledge and experience to and in those forums we continue to find ourselves moved off the boards for advertising (because our signatures have links to our website or blog) instead of being engaged in active conversation that can either help clients to make their own event go easier for them, or may help them decide to get help with their event or wedding.

We never, ever visit boards and say "HEY, USE OUR SERVICES BECAUSE WE'RE THE BEST." That is a push message. We do not do that. We care for our clients the best we can, and we are here to serve them, and only they can tell us how good we are at providing those services.

We don't have to share tools and knowledge with the brides and grooms out there - we can certainly choose to act like many other "magical" design & coordination companies where we obfuscate everything and tell you "there's no way you should worry or concern yourself with anything, just give us the money and we'll 'make it happen.'"

We share these things because whether or not you are planning your own event or wedding, or you have a coordination company working with you, knowledge is empowering and allows you to make better decisions about your event.

I believe that contributive knowledge and conversation is important and Encantare will continue share as much as we can here on our blog.

The Wedding Salon @ The Four Seasons

2007-10-03T20:37:00.000-07:00

To all the brides-to-be and other folks at last weeks "Wedding Salon" at the Four Seasons Beverly Hills, we're glad to have met you!

Personally, I was really excited and encouraged by the responses to Brynn's design of the booth and we wanted to thank the vendors that helped her make it rock! Ginny at Ginny G Floral Design, Lucy at Saraphina Collection, Lisa at Inkbox, Brian at Bob Gail Events and Susan at Cloth Connection - thank you all for helping us with your talents and products!

I also managed to get a bit of video at the event, and here it is:

The Business of Dreams

2007-10-03T20:26:00.000-07:00

This is my first post contributing to Brynn's Blog, and as Brynn's general partner at Encantare, it's a pleasure to be invited to jump in and do guest posts from time to time about the business side of her company.

As Encantare has grown the last year, it's been an honor to add to the development and direction of the business side of things with this startup. Brynn's vision and dedication to her clients never ceases to amaze me.

As far as the design & coordination goes, she's the force behind those services here, but from time to time, you'll see business-related posts pop up from me as I can.

Thanks for inviting me to chime in Brynn, and I look forward to contributing!

Encantare's KTLA Feature

2007-09-30T16:10:00.000-07:00

Encantare was featured on the KTLA Morning Show on Wednesday September 26, 2007. I created an "Over the Top" table top design at the request of 4pm Events for their annual Wedding Salon Event at the Four Seasons in Beverly Hills (which we later showcased at).

After noticing that many of the couples getting married today want to integrate old world traditions and elements into their weddings, I based my table top design on textures and colors from around the world. I wanted to showcase new ways to incorporate standard elements (like chairs, place settings, menu cards and candles) into an unconventional table top design, so I scoured and searched to find great colors and textures in the fabric and glass elements from authentic sources like Persia, Thailand and India.

I was able to bring in some of my trusted vendors and want to say "Thank you!" to Saraphina Collection (Menu Design), Cloth Connection (Linens), and Town and Country Rentals (Place Settings and Chair Rentals).

Floral Design was provided by a Wedding Salon vendor, Flora Boutique from Santa Barbara.

Here's some of the video from the morning show and the shoot!

CAKE!! The icing on your BIG DAY!

2007-09-25T10:10:00.000-07:00

My Encantare team members fell in love with a line of t-shirts at the show "A Soolip Wedding" at Social Hollywood this year. I later met face to face with the woman that designed the shirts, and we found out very quickly we have a common love. Soft fabrics (I've been called a connoisseur of soft!) and custom, detailed designs. I now open the floor to the passionate and creative Lisa Tse (pronounced "See"):

When I was getting married 2 years ago, I searched high and low for fun, hip gifts for my bridal party that weren’t (for lack of a better word) cheesy. Being a designer, I was really particular about details & style and didn’t want to give them something that I wouldn’t wear or buy myself. After being a graphic designer for the fashion industry for many years, designing my own wedding invitations and hearing many of my guests say “Hey, you should do this for a living!”, I decided to start my own design studio called, INKBOX DESIGN BOUTIQUE, specializing in custom, high end invitation design. Building on the idea that if I couldn’t find what I liked out there, I’d create it myself, I added a product division, called CAKE (the icing on your BIG DAY!) and got to work creating the first product I’ve launched...a line of bridal party t-shirts for modern, fashion-savvy brides.

I started by using my experience in apparel graphics, print & packaging design that I got while working for Abercrombie & Fitch, Paul Frank Industries, ROXY & Hard Candy and created a sophisticated looking graphic that (from afar) looked like a cool, fashionable tee that any stylish woman would wear...Then, when you got closer, you’d see that it’s a bridal party t-shirt with cheeky attitude. The MISS BRIDE tee has fun phrases like, “Sorry Fellas, This One’s Taken”, “Soon To Be Hitched!” and “Technically Still Single.” The BRIDESMAID tee says, “The Bad Influence” and “Homegirl To The Bride” and the MAID OF HONOUR tee says, “Partner In Crime” and “Bride’s Personal Cheerleader” (among other fun stuff!). I chose colorways so that all of the tees coordinate together so they can be mixed and matched to suit each bride. My screen printer was nice enough to let me stand over his shoulder as he mixed custom ink colors to get the exact shade that I wanted (which not many will do!)...

Next, I searched for the perfect t-shirt to screen print on. Quality and comfort is everything! I inspected and tried on many tees and fell in love with the super soft, luxurious 100% combed cotton tee that I chose. It’s made with extra length and has a flattering fit. (I even sleep in mine!)

The final step in making this a bridal party gift like none other out there was creating chic, girly packaging for it. I LOVE PACKAGING!!! So I had a beautiful box made with a die cut window that displays the tee graphic inside. I thought about how they would be displayed in boutiques...It was important to me that this looked like a gift you would give someone, not just a t-shirt hanging on a rack or folded on a table. I even designed a space on the back for the gift giver to hand write a personal message to the recipient. I chose to hand write the tee size on the box, which gives it a more one of a kind, hand crafted feel. Details, details!

Then, I hired the photographer who shot my wedding because he did such an amazing job, hired models and had a full blown photo shoot that I styled and art directed. It was really important to show the tees in a real environment, so we staged a bridal shower in the park by the ocean and we got some great shots (which can be seen on my website www.inkboxdesign.com).

The tees are great for many occasions-----I want people to know that they’re not a 1-time use tee. They are perfect for the obvious; bridal showers, bachelorette parties and group events like spa day with the girls, but they are also great for anything you do around town like dress fittings, shopping excursions, hair-do trials, cake tastings, rehearsal dinners, mani/pedi’s, engagement photos and brides can take it on their honeymoon, too...oh yeah and once the BIG DAY has passed, as I mentioned before, they are so soft, you’re gonna want to sleep in them!

I recently sent these to a celebrity who just got married. She put them in gift bags she gave to each of her girls and I just received a thank you note from her saying “They are sooooo comfortable! It was such a perfect gift!” Then, her wedding coordinator who saw them on all of the girls at the wedding in France said how cute they all looked. (Believe me, I’m dying to tell you who it was, but I was sworn to secrecy! Hollywood!)

I carry my love for details and packaging throughout every invitation ensemble I create, making sure I really show the personality and style of both the event and the person throwing it! The themes or color schemes really inspire me and drive the design. I incorporate unexpected materials and really try to do things you don’t see everyday. The best part of my job is seeing my clients’ faces when they see the finished product and hearing about all of the wonderful comments they get from their guests. One bride received lots of emails & voicemails the day her invitations were received. Some were crying, some were screaming and most were surprised at how the invites captured her personality so perfectly. The thing I hear the most is ‘I’ve never seen anything like this before’, which means I did my job.

To order Cake Tees or to see samples of my Invitation Design Work, go to: http://www.inkboxdesign.com/

ABC's of Printing (And Turning Text into Art)

2007-08-23T17:46:00.000-07:00

I hope you enjoy this informative "guest appearance" on the Encantare blog from the ever creative Lucy Kozozian, owner of and designer for Saraphina Collection.

It was not long ago that Lucy and I got to have a discussion about the printing options in today's stationary business, and I asked if she would mind my putting that conversation into something brides and grooms could also look at to help them on the road to creating their wedding invitations. Lucy kindly obliged, and we're happy to share it with you!

A century ago printing on wedding invites served one purpose-to inform your guests about the upcoming nuptials. This was often done by hand and ink through a calligrapher. If it was done in print, it was done by formal script engraving.

A century later we live in a time where anything goes as far as wedding invitations. You can even have coconuts hand painted for your fun loving, tropical destination wedding. With the custom invitation craze sticking hard and fast, learning more about the options and actual processes is important as well as fascinating and will help you make an informed choice for creating invitations and stationary that reflects your own individuality.

Die cutting, embossing and de-bossing, engraving, letterpress, lithography, and thermography are just some of the options available to you as a consumer today. Below find these terms defined and a brief history to help you along the road to your own custom invites needs (and don't forget those "Save the Date" cards, your wedding announcements, "Thank You" cards, and personal stationary!)

Die Cutting: The process of die cutting is a fairly new trend, and it cuts shapes into or out of your actual invitations. Many "scrap bookers" are already very familiar with this process, with their own small, at home die cutting machines. This can make your invitations into any shape imaginable, or cut a shape out of a (come to the Wedding Salon event at the Beverly Hills Four Seasons in September and pick up a sample of a "Bridal Doll Chain" at Encantare's booth!).

TIP: This process is especially fun for themed wedding, making pumpkins or oak leaves for fall, hearts for a Valentine's celebration, star fish or sand dollars for the beach, parasols or fans or an Asian inspired theme...the possibilities are endless.

Embossing/De-bossing: An embossed print is raised, while de-bossed is recessed. This process, particularly embossing, has become a more cost effective version of letterpress (more on that later). And it is also a process "scrap-bookers" and "stampers" are familiar with! Both embossing and de-bossing creates a dynamic effect with it's outstanding texture on paper.

TIP: Some people use de-bossing to recess a rectangle around the edge of their invitation and print inside that, using more than one method.

Engraving: The process of engraving has been, historically, most widely used process for printing wedding invitations. Etching words deeply into a steel or copper plate, begins the engraving process. Ink is spread over the plate and wiped down so just the inked recessed wording remains, which then gets transferred onto paper. This is what creates the wonderful raised texture of the printing. Because of the time and labor intensive process, engraving remains the "gold standard" in wedding invitations.

TIP: It also takes several weeks to create, so if your budget allows and you're set on engraving, start early!

Letterpress: Along with engraving, letterpress is a time intensive (and therefore costly) process, but the outcome is absolutely breathtaking. It is truly a bit of renaissance.

Created by hand setting one raised letter at a time, or by making a plate, it then the inked letters get pressed deeply into the paper. Because of it's versatility, the printing looks amazing in just about any font a person could choose. You can even use light inks on dark papers. Remember again, plan in advance for this technique because it can take many weeks!

TIP: If your budget is limited but you're set on letterpress, try just having your monogram in letterpress at the top of your invitations.

Lithography: Known for being economical and readily available, lithography is also known as "offset" printing. It is cost effective because you can use portions of the large plate it is created on for different parts of you invitation suite, such as RSVP cards, programs, menus, etc. The limitation? You can only use one color for all of the different portions of your suite and the printing works best on smooth surfaced papers.

TIP: Find a beautiful paper with a light texture, and with your savings on printing, add a fun or exquisite embellishment.

Thermography: This technique has been recently created to be a cost effective printing option to engraving because it also has a raised surface. Beware though, the printing can (and most often does) bleed on the edges creating a little blur in the words and the ink has a high sheen to it.

TIP: To save money on all the printing you'll need for your wedding, save thermography for your engagement party, wedding shower and thank you notes!

For more information and to create your custom invitations go to www.saraphinacollection.com, or call 818-653-0391 and let them know that Brynn sent you!

Bridal Party Bank Drain by Dresses

2007-08-21T20:46:00.000-07:00

A recent trend has me gritting my teeth at night. Yes, I even dream weddings.

It is also a trend that has me sweating bullets on wedding days.

This trend is brides having their attendants either make their own dresses or have them custom made by either a mother, grandmother, friend, professional dress maker or tailor.

The hand made, home made dress trend started because someone spread around a rumor that it is more cost effective than purchasing dresses out of collections at retail stores, bridal chains or boutiques. Listen to me....this is, most often, a gross untruth.

There are a few exceptions to the rule on this one. For example, if everyone in the bridal party is a seamstress and they WANT to make their dresses, the fabric is inexpensive (even when you purchase a lining for it), and all of the undergarments, shoes and jewelery are purchased and the total overall cost is under $300.

However, most of the time it is more cost effective, less time consuming and less stressful for all involved if a bride and her attendants look at dresses together, deciding what option everyone can live with. Especially with all of the skirt and top separates out there now, it is easy to create the right look for individual body types while maintaining a color theme.

Here is my own "build it your self bridesmaid dress" horror story:

Five years ago I was invited to be an bridesmaid at my sister-in-law's wedding. She wanted each of us to choose whatever dress pattern we liked and have it made (as long as the skirt reached floor length) out of fabric she had hand picked. This fabric was beautiful....a dark burgundy, sueded silk with a small pattern in it. The fabric felt rich under your fingers (and it well should have at sixty-yes 60-dollars a yard). However, the fabric itself was very thin, especially for a formal wedding in Autumn in the Pacific North West.

The bride pre-ordered every attendant five yards of fabric, which we were to pay for ourselves. Now, at the time I rang in at a whopping 100 lbs. sopping wet, and I'm only a little over 5 feet tall. I needed no more than two yards to make my entire dress, but still had to pay for the additional yardage.

Now, she was getting "a great deal", for the bridesmaids that lived in her area, from a seamstress that would do each dress and top for approximately $100 each. I, however, didn't live in that area. Now, both of my grandmothers sew, but one lives in Hawaii and the other is in her 90's...not likely either could help. And I can't stitch a lick.

I had to search to find someone who could custom make my dress. On top of this, the fabric needed a backing (and no, you can't use the same fabric for that, it won't look right. There are special backing fabrics.). Plus I had to purchase a slip and undergarments. I, thankfully, was able to have my bra cups sewn into the top so I didn't have to worry about bra straps falling down or any peeking, but it came also at and additional cost. The woman who made my dress did a lovely job, but it was not a dress I was ever going to wear again.

There were other demands by the bride about our shoe type and the jewelry we could and could not wear, but the hardest part? The sueded silk had to be stroked by a hand glove made specially to lay the fibers in one direction so you didn't look like a patchwork quilt walking down the aisle. So, just before the wedding I had some strange woman running her "special" mit all over my body.

You'd think I was safe after I'd been smoothed down, right?

Nope.

My husband decided to give me a smack on the bottom right as I walked down the aisle (for good luck). And it left a giant hand print right on my butt. The print was completely visible because I was the last one in line.

But wait, there is more...I ended up standing over the air vent in the church, which was on full blast in an upward direction. So my dress, with a slit up the back to my knee, was floating in the freezing wind. I had to play "Marilyn Monroe" the whole hour long ceremony.

So, in the end, my dress ended up costing me approximately $700.

The other girls had problems too. One zipper didn't work. One middle seam along the bottom of a larger girl tore open on the dance floor.

I'm writing about this now because I recently had a bride come to me that wanted to do this for her wedding...and assured me all of the attendants are great seamstresses. Well, now her mother-in-law-to-be is sewing all of the dresses. Two are done, out of six. And there are two flower girl dresses to be made as well. And the wedding is less than six weeks away. Oh, and one of the attendants lives in another state (so they're just hoping the dress fits). And the mother-in-law-to-be also has a full-time job and a household to run on top that. That leaves plenty of time to make dresses, right?

Yeah, maybe the fabric is a great deal. Maybe someone you know is able to sew...but heed my warning, and picture in your mind all of the things that can go wrong by making your own dresses (because many of them will)...and then go to your local dress chains and pick something you can live with, that is in a price range your attendants can afford.

I've spent time researching the price differences in buying vs. making bridesmaid dresses, and the breakdown is as follows:

The low end purchased dresses are under $150.00
Middle End is $150-$250
High End is $250 and up.

Making those same dresses on your own will add anywhere from 30%-70% to the dress cost. The average is a 50% addition in cost for having dresses made.

Even if you have a family member making them, think of the time it takes them. If you are thinking a "thank you" card is enough, please think again. Paying them for their work, in some way, is essential.

It's really up the bride and her attendants with regard to making dresses versus buying dresses, but make sure you've considered all of the options, all of the pluses and all of the minuses before taking on such an onerous task.

And most of all...good luck in your search!

MAYDAY! MAYDAY! (or "Houston, We have a Problem")

2007-08-06T12:48:00.000-07:00

There is always an emergency at a wedding.

They happen before the wedding...no make-up artist shows because an accident is blocking all lanes of the freeway 40 miles from the venue. The red lipstick grandma cannot live without makes it to the front of the wedding dress. A groomsman didn't get socks in his rental package, his pants are a little short and there is no tailor or tux shop near enough to remedy the situation is less than 50 minutes.

They happen during the wedding...mother-of-the-bride's ceremony shoes are too big. The three year old ring bearer refuses to walk down the aisle now that 200 people are staring at him (it wasn't that way at the rehearsal!). A groom, bride, or attendant faints and as a results, has a grass stain, cut or bruise (or, God forbid, worse!)

They happen at the reception...the boxes of favors, caricatures of the bride and groom driving their car that were custom made in Brazil, weren't opened until the reception hall set up and some heads were broken off, car wheels were missing and the tiny bouquets were already tossed out of the window! The groom steps on the brides dress and the seam splits during the first dance. And who knew Aunt Edna was allergic to shellfish? And who knew the server didn't tell her the tray passed appetizer was a scallop wrapped in bacon?

Because anything can happen, and something will, it is best to be prepared.

As a seasoned vet in the wedding war, I carry with me giant, fully equipped emergency kit. And, yes, I have used it at each and every event I've ever had. The instances above are not just fictional, each one has happened to me, and because of the kit I carry, each problem was solved immediately and easily.

Now, I don't suggest you try lugging around the kit I do, just one reason being the cost is prohibitive for only one event. But if you don't have a coordinator (or if you have one that doesn't carry a kit), here are the items most important to have on hand:

One complete first aid kit that includes medicines such as: Tylenol, Motrin, Burn Gel, Benadryl, Rolaids Antacid and Anti-Gas (Yes, I did have to go there) and Pepto Bismol
A basic make-up kit, like Sephora carries, make sure it has a small mirror, or get a compact (or at least they used to...even look for new ones on Ebay!)
Scissors and safety pins
Double Stick Tape (I won't even go into what I've had to use it for!!)
Stain Remover as recommended by your bridal store
Basic sewing kit, with invisible thread
Pen and Paper
Lint Roller, Static Spray and Wrinkle Release
Crazy Glue
1 pair of panty hose
1 pair of black men's dress socks
Fingernail kit
Cotton balls
Hair spray, bobby pins, rubber bands and a head band
Bottled water and snack items that include protein
Bribe for small child to get them down that isle (but don't give it to them until after they walk down the isle!)

I know it seems like a lot, but if you put it together in a small overnight bag, back pack or basket...believe me...you'll be glad you did! And take comfort in the fact that my list is quadruple (well, more than quadruple) what this one is!! You can always buy everything at Target and return the unopened packages of the items you don't use!

I also suggest that you do the following for your guests in respective restrooms:

Place a small basket in each restroom with items that guests might need such as dental floss, chewing gum, mouth wash, hand sanitizer, tampons and maxi pads, tissue, hand lotion, hair spray, and mini deodorants (after all that dancing! Someone might need it!)

Remember you have options, you can try to asses your needs and create your own kit from the basic list I've provided here...or do the easy thing...hire a prepare coordinator to help make your event emergency free!

What is "Day Of" Coordination, really?

2007-06-04T17:42:00.000-07:00

I was recently asked what "day of" coordination really entails. And after talking with several people, it seems that most believe that event coordinators just show up the morning of the event, make everything perfect, and leave when it's over.

Not so much.

It takes roughly 20-40 hours of coordination time, or more, to make sure everything is taken care of for a client hiring a coordinator for "day of" services. As a point of reference, it takes between 200-400 labor hours if our staff is coordinating & designing an entire event from start to finish.

But let's get back to "day of," and how that 20-40 hours is spent.

Let's break it down.

At Encantare, you can choose our standard "Day Of" package, or create your own, but for the sake of this post, we'll just talk about a fairly standard, basic, bare bones "day of" coordination package.

The package includes the complimentary consultation, two one-hour-long meetings during the process, contact with each and every vendor and industry professional involved in the event, reviewing contracts (arrival times, tear down information, and most importantly product committed to), an event time line, staff meetings, rehearsal coordination, and finally coordinating the event itself.

First, a client meets with a coordinator. These initial consultations last for an hour (or more), not including the travel time. Once booked, coordinators go home and start putting together a file and master information on the client.

Personally, I have a computer client database along with a paper filing system, and I make sure that information is entirely in both systems to insure against any loss. This process can take anywhere from two to four hours depending on the amount of information gathered at the initial meeting and the overall size of event, including vendor activity, venue (ceremony/reception) space/s, guest count, travel arrangements, etc.

Then comes the other hour long meetings, again plus travel time, prior to the event. During these meetings, all decor, etiquette, vendor, venue, and event information is discussed . After this meeting, I go back and update my systems, and I begin to formulate the event time line.

The time line, well, it takes a good deal of time.

First, venue contracts have to be reviewed for load-in times, regulations and package details (including menu information, services provided by the venue and it's staff, time limits, etc.). Then all other vendor contracts must be reviewed. Delivery and pick up information must be noted, and so must the exact product being created and provided by each vendor. These telephone calls or personal visits are done with the bride and groom or responsible party to make absolutely, utterly sure that everyone is on the same page. This process can save infinite heartache down the line.

Once this is done the time line bones start to come together. Everyone has a place and the place is outlined in the document. This is also the time to contact anyone with questions or any information needing clarification.

This is the first draft.

The first draft gets forwarded to everyone involved for their review, their questions, comments or changes. Those questions, comments and changes then become incorporated into a semi-final document.

This is the second draft.

It undergoes another review from all involved and then becomes the final draft.

The creation of a time line for the event day can take anywhere from 5 to 15 hours depending on the complexity of the event. But once this task is handled, there are more to be conquered. This information now has to now be spread through to my coordination team (usually one or two assistants), any of Encantare's press photographers or videographers, any extra people involved, plus all of the vendors that have been hired.

So, let's see...first the meeting, then the files on computer and paper, then the contract reviewing, the clarification of any questions, building of initial time line, revisions, creation of succeeding time lines, sharing information with the professional coordination team...

This is already 10-30 hours worth of coordination work, at minimum!

Then there is the event run-through. This is typically a two hour process, plus the travel time. And finally, you have the event itself, which is another 8 to 10 hours or more.

So you see, having someone coordinate the day of your event isn't just the coordinator showing up that day.

When it comes to our Full Service & Consulting packages, our team works with you on design elements, creating your budget (and often saving you money in the process!), selecting and setting vendor appointments and the myriad of other elements that go into a wedding or special event.

I hope this helps brides, grooms and other event clients understand the cost and labor involved in providing "just" day-of coordination to clients as they seek their one single day of perfection.

For Flower Power, Think Beyond Blooms.

2007-05-23T10:36:00.000-07:00

Many brides today want their floral arrangements to make a big statement at their wedding, but they may not have a big floral budget. I'm even finding that flowers are taking center stage, sometimes even over the quality of food and beverage. (Heed my warning here...don't let this happen to you! The food and drink your guests will be consuming is BY FAR more important that the flowers they'll be gazing at the few short hours before the bell strikes and the ball is over).

But, you can have beautiful, rich and full floral designs without spending a fortune, if you stick to a few basics.

First, buy only flowers that will be in season during your wedding. Out of season flowers will cost double or triple because of the conditions needed to grow them in during their off season and because of the scarcity of the blooms' availability.

Second, trim your list of flowers down to two or three main blooms. Some of the richest wedding designs I've seen have been as simple as large urns full of beautiful, fluffy, overflowing hydrangea in different tones of one or two shades. The look is soft but bold and having a single flower increases the impact of that flower when the number of stems is multiplied. Even the lowly carnation is making a comeback in large quantities. It's strength in numbers folks!

And frankly? I love it!

Third, keep your color palate choices to a minimum of four, and make sure at least one of those colors is kept out of the floral arrangements and used as an accent, such as in ribbon tied around your vases, favor boxes on the tables, in the linens or on the rims of plates or glasses.

My favorite new trend? Small bud vases interspersed down a long table runner full of edible treats or gifts for your guests, such as bread sticks, bottles of olive oil or champagne, salt and pepper cellars, cake plates stacked with fruits and veggies or small petite fours and candies, even favors! Using inanimate objects along with flowers is a great way to set off unique or large single blooms.

This can also be done in such a way to lend either a formal or informal feeling to the table depending on what types of single containers you use (silver, glass, etc.) and what types of blooms and other items you use.

Want something completely out of the ordinary, but still elegant? Try using lovely succulents planted in wreath forms, laying flat on the table with candles in the center. Or plant them in large containers a few months before the wedding and let them fill in beautifully for a grand statement on a green color palate (which would be rich and warm on top of chocolate linens with a touch of gold or bold yellow). These even make great attendant or guest gifts!

Or, try planted grass containers in the center of your tables with paper butterflies on wires coming up out of the grass, or a few single Gerber Daises popping up to add a touch of color and whimsy.

Using non-floral items associated with your theme in your arrangements can help secure your vision while adding another dimension of visual interest to your arrangements that is unexpected but very effective. Try grapes for a Tuscan theme, or feathers for a Farm House wedding.

You don't have to break the bank with your flowers to get the affect you want, you may just need to do a little research and think outside the box!

So, what's in a name?

2007-04-18T12:13:00.000-07:00

It is so hard sometimes for independent women, women with the last of the family name, women who identify with who they are and don't know if they want to change, or women who just don't like the sound of their potential name when getting married to make the "last name" decision:

To change or not to change?

The Knot answers the question about deciding to take on a new name quickly and concisely...

Q. I am getting married in four weeks and can't decide what to do with my last name. I want to take my husband's name, but as the last generation with my family name, I feel a need to retain it. I am also attached to my middle name, so I don�t wish to make my maiden name my middle name. I've thought about hyphenating, but our names don't sound right together. I am looking for a way to take both last names and keep my middle name. What are the options?

A. Why not just add your husband's last name to the end of yours? That way you could legally retain your middle name and given last name, plus add his. You wouldn't have to write out the entire thing every time, as you would if you hyphenated. So for example, if your name is Jennifer Ann Jones, you could become Jennifer Ann Jones Smith. You could then shorten that to Jennifer Smith, or you could go by Jennifer Jones Smith, and so on. Simply adding his last name is one way to have it all!

.... but I know from personal experience that the decision, with its finite options, can be much harder than it appears in a one paragraph answer. I had to ask myself the same question 7 years ago.

Much like the woman in the article above, I come from a family that also has few options for carrying on the family name. Moreover, I felt strongly about keeping my name. After all, for me it was part of my identity. I have no problem saying that I am a fairly independent, strong...or stubborn...woman.

I went through the same, very real, and hard decision with my first marriage. My maiden name is Freal, and my married name-t0-be was Bahl (pronounced Ball). Brynn (pronounced Brin) Bahl just sounded silly, not to mention an awful lot like a sport...Brynn Bahl-broom ball?! And even more silly? Adding my middle initial to the mix. Brynn C. Bahl. To me, and to everyone else I tried it on....it sounded like "bouncy ball". To this day I thank my dear friend Andrea for begging me to think about how I would feel after years of jokes.

My, now ex, husband was very understanding and sympathetic with my plight...but, no amount of pleading or bargaining could get him to agree to take MY last name! However, he wasn't upset that I was so connected to my family to want to save the name. What was truly important was that we loved each other and were getting married. It wasn't about the name.

So, what did I do?

Legally....I did nothing. I kept my original name. And when addressed formally, I went by Mrs. Bahl. For me, it was as simple as that. I believe this is also what Jennifer Aniston did when she married Brad Pitt. She kept her name, Jennifer Aniston, but went formally by Mrs. Brad Pitt.

I know exactly what brides are going through, and it is a hard decision to make. I wanted to take the traditional route and take my new husband's last name as a sign of solidarity, but I also knew that being in a solid marriage meant more than just having the same last name. I look back on my decision now and know that my instinct for keeping my name, was a good one. I never had a second thought.

I suggest that couples talk about the decision and the options together, but that the bride take her time (as long as it takes) and explore all of the options before making such an important decision. Above all, follow your heart and your instinct.

Disney's dream dresses available now!

2007-04-17T18:56:00.000-07:00

What that you say? Walt in Weddings?

The Disney brand is spreading into bridal dresses to go with the fairy tale weddings you can have at there theme parks. You can now have your wedding dress modeled after your favorite Disney princess.

The 34 gowns by designer Kirstie Kelly were inspired by princesses like "Sleeping Beauty", "Cinderella" and "Beauty and the Beast"; and run anywhere in cost from $1500.00 to $3000.00. They do tend to cost more than the average gown price, which now runs at just about $1000.00. But to be your favorite princess on your wedding day? Priceless.

What's that I say? Yahoo!

As a fan of Disney everything, this is an exciting day for me! I've got my yearly pass, I spend at least one day a month at Disneyland and the new California Adventure Park and I enjoy every minute of it! Although this may be just the start of Disney's move toward other items geared at the adult (and the home) that grew up with Disney...what better a way to bring some of the magic back into their lives?!

Here at Encantare our tag line is "Let your dream begin.", and now Disney is helping us do just that!

But I don't have a sister...

2007-04-17T12:42:00.000-07:00

I just finished a magnificent and classic wedding on board the Queen Mary in Long Beach, CA. (Congratulations Isabella and Ken!) And, as always, there were a few things to overcome on the way to perfection.

This time?

A sister that didn't exist.

And a new on-site event team.

Now, we ALL know that the Queen Mary is haunted (right?), but this was going a little far...even for me. When I called to try and discuss the final arrangements with one of the QM's catering assistants, she told me about Maria, the bride's sister. Evidently Maria wanted to significantly change items on the menu, as well as how the bar was being handled.

The problem?

First, only the bride, groom, or coordinator working on their behalf have the ability to change items. Beyond that, there are usually no changes allowed by the venue or vendors in the few short days prior to the event.

Beyond this?

The bride didn't have a sister! The couple didn't even know anyone named Maria...and this was about to cause me more trouble than I ever expected.

The fictional family member caused the catering assistant to inform everyone on the venues event team not to speak to anyone but the bride. Meanwhile, the bride had requested that I speak to the event team on her behalf since she was busy playing hostess to many guests from abroad. She also trusted me enough to allow me the freedom of decision making, knowing I would always do right by her and her event.

Okay, not a problem for me, a coordinator. That's my job.

Isn't it?

It turned out that the lead Queen Mary coordinator assigned to our event, stopped working for the venue shortly before our event. So, when the event file started making it's way to the new site coordinator, the fact that the bride had a wedding coordinator seemed to disappear. Also, the catering assistant's order for the crew only to speak with the bride circumvented me completely and the bride got hopping mad.

She was getting deluged with phone calls from several on-site coordinators in different departments, and kept telling them to speak with me. Thankfully after a few phone calls an a bit of explaining, it was all sorted out with the chapel coordinator. But when it came time to deal with the head for the rehearsal dinner....I got no return call. What did I get? Accused of being Maria. And an apology shortly after.

It turned out she was not in direct communication with the bride or me, but with the catering assistant. So, who can fault her for not knowing the real story?

I do have to tell you, it all worked out in the end...but to this day no one has ever been able to figure out who the mysterious Maria was, and why someone would want to change a wedding order just before the big day. Was it just a case of mistaken identity?

We may never know.

But, what I do know is how very important good communication is.

So, whenever there is a change in your event staffing, which most often happens once at venues such as hotels and larger event sites (from sales to event staff), make sure your entire planning team is familiar with your whole venue team to prevent things like this from creating havoc, drama and stress when you need it least. By making solid connections and introductions, you can alleviate some of the many hurdles down the road to Happily Ever After.

A Call to Arms for Industry Professionals

2007-04-16T17:19:00.000-07:00

I just got an OUTSTANDING email from Clover Chadwick, founder of the Hollywood based floral design company Dandelion Ranch. I have to say, it was one of the most innovative things I've seen in floristry over the course of my career. And it isn't creating a new way to design flowers.

It all started a few months back when a local, high-end wedding show had an idea that had the whole industry abuzz. The theme of the show wasn't about The Bride. Instead, it was about The Planet. Their theme was about doing things for your wedding that were environmentally friendly.

I'll admit, after attending the Soolip Wedding show in March, I too was on a quest for more new and innovative ways to make what I do, and vendors I choose, for my clients more "green." I've always been a hero of saving this beautiful planet, a loyal watcher of things like "Baraka" and "Planet Earth". And, after all, I was the person mortified and a bit unstable when someone I knew said something to the effect of, "I won't be here when the world goes to hell, so why should I care or change now?", when I suggested they watch Al Gore's global masterpiece "An Inconvenient Truth".

Now we can come back to how a single floral vendor, Clover Chadwick took her call to arms from the Soolip show seriously.

Here are excerpts from her email:

Ms Clover Chadwick, founder of Dandelion Ranch, was surprised to discover that floral foam, a product indispensable to many florists for their arrangements, was not only non-biodegradable, but highly toxic and potentially linked to incidences of lung cancer. After her investigations for an alternative through her regular floral supply channels came up short, she got creative and found a product used by other industries with a similar consistency to floral foam and even better water retention, so it could be used for the foundation of her arrangements, but is all natural and biodegradable.

“Without floral foam, or something like it, I would have had to change my entire design philosophy, which may have resulted in a disastrous loss of income, but floral foam being so bad, I was ready do just that,” says Ms Chadwick. “It’s time we all do our part, as minimal as it may be. Every gesture counts. Every action that may result in less pollution is paramount to the future of all living things on this planet.

I was, however, a little disappointed in the email. After years of working in a floral design shop myself, I wanted to know what the product is!

I need to know what the product is! I understand it may have been intentionally left out of the email, but with something that can make this much of a positive impact, I believe the responsible and respectful thing to do is share it openly and quickly.

I would love to see all the florists I work with to not only start using this new product, but to also start to a conversation with the makers of their beloved "oasis" (aka: floral foam) and find ways to get them to make their product more environmentally friendly. To change it in a way that benefits generations to come.

In light of all that is happening in our world today, I would hope that all the professionals in our industry and all of the brides and grooms-to-be will research ideas on how their weddings, and the planning of them, can do more to "be green."

The bags full of information that I brought home from "A Soolip Wedding" this year were a great starting place.

So, I'm going to dig around a bit to try to find out just what this particular product is to satisfy my own curiosity and share what I find.

I'm asking all of you to do the same. Research something! Anything! And bring it to the attention of the world in the best way you know how.

Or share it with me, and I'll post it here.

For now though, a HUGE "Thank You" to Dandelion Ranch for doing their part to change the world for the better, and for inspiring me to do my part!

I look forward to learning how many other industry professionals are doing the same. And to sharing what I learn with you along the way.

Bridal Bliss to Budget Bust: Part Two

2007-04-15T14:41:00.000-07:00

Let's see....we left at, "how do you fix it?" Let's just get down to brass tacks.

First, for the sake of making this all relevant, let's do a little budget reminder. Your site fees (which typically include tables, chairs, linens, china, etc.) and catering cost (food, beverage and service) allotments should add up to approximately 50% of the total wedding budget. So, in this case, a total budget would be $30,000.00. We left off last time with $21,000.00 of that already spent.

Remember that the bride, groom and I have already done a "Round Robin" with the contract, but I haven't spoken to that "lovely site person, behind a large mahogany desk" yet. It is my firm belief that personal meetings go a lot farther than telephone calls do, so I use the telephone only briefly to make an introduction and an appointment to go over the contract with the sales associate. This usually requires the couple also calling the sales associate, to introduce their coordinator, permitting contact to occur.

(I get some grumbling about this phone call because it's just one more thing brides and grooms have to do on the way to that alter, but it is for a good reason...privacy issues and identity fraud. Soon I'll tell you an anecdote about how it can and nearly did happen to one of my own. Look for an upcoming post called: "But I don't have a sister....")

The meeting.

Meeting with the sales person for the first time is best done one-on-one, coordinator vs. sales person. I've found it works best to use a third person to mediate (or leverage) a settlement, rather than an emotional bride and groom trying to do it alone or with a coordinator trying to tend to them and still try to make "the deal". And, since you'll be married forever, having a third party use mediation techniques, which are used in divorce all the time, will give you one-time option to see how it works!

Above all, discussions with the sales person must be totally honest, open and very....saccharine. Remember the old, catching flies with honey bit? This is the time to use it. Depending on the policies of the venue, a few things can happen. The most likely are:

Option One

You'll get "extras" thrown into the package you currently have. Such as, a night or two in a premium room for the bride and groom (if the location is a hotel), an extra hour to take photos on their premises and an extra side dish selection, or chair covers and the specialty linens. This is where asking for the moon comes in. If you get a handful of stars, be ecstatic. Usually you'll get one or two.

Option Two

You can discuss options for stepping out of the contract, forfeiting the date reservation there, and moving on. Sometimes when this is done immediately, a couple can walk away without losing anything but time. Then again, sometimes, there will be a fee attached for having the venue hold the date (meaning, not being able to sell it to someone else while it was under contract). And this fee...can be darn near anything.

If the fee is already stated in an exit clause of the contract, then you already know what you're in for. Often it can be very high, so negotiating works well here too. However, if there is no fee mentioned, I suggest making a peace offering to the venue for all of their trouble. If a contract was signed less than five days ago, I suggest offering $100 a day for their inconvenience. If it has been more than five days, the offer might look like this: $500 for a week, $1,000 for two weeks, and so on.

Now, I hear those of you out there going..."I thought she was going to tell us how to fix our budget, not spend more money"...$500 to fix a 4 or 5 thousand dollar mistake can sometimes be in the best interest of all involved. Even paying up to $2,500 would make this a better situation. Keep in mind what your end goal is going to be. It would be better to find a new venue for $15,000, and pay $2,500 to get out of the fix you're in now, than to pay $21,000.00. Right?

Option Three

You're stuck.

You're saying to yourselves right now: What do you mean....we're stuck?

Well, it might not be as bad as you think. If this is the place of your dreams and you're getting great food, service and rental items...then not all is lost. The good news is, you still have options. Since the first thing all good couples do is find their venue (right?!?), there is still a lot of wiggle room in the budget. Side note: another good first thing to do is pick a coordinator.

First, remembering that the guests are there to enjoy this life changing event with you, and not necessarily the floral arrangements or the fancy save-the-date cards and matching themed invitations, can help a great deal. And, if you're thinking to yourself right now, "these don't sound like my guests", then you need to change your guest list!

Which brings us to...changing the guest list!

Reviewing your guest list can be very helpful when looking at places to cut your budget. Many couples feel obligated to let single friends invite dates, or to let their parents invite people that they've never or rarely met (such as bosses, neighbors, etc). These extra people can be whittled down to those precious few that actually make up your families and nearest-and-dearest extended families and friends. Think about the true core of people in your lives. These should be the people sharing in your wedding day with you. And, by shaving a percentage off of your guest list, you can save a lot of money when it comes to other things!

Many people are adverse to down sizing their guest lists, but I have to tell you, a smaller and more intimate crowd of people often gives a wedding more magic. There are rarely awkward seat pairings between people who have never met or will ever meet again, it gives the bride and groom more time to spend with each and every guest, and so on.

Also, if you're downsizing your guest list, why not downsize your wedding party too? If you haven't already asked people to be your wedding attendants, then think about limiting the number to two or three a piece. Many couples feel a need for 5, 6, 7 or 8 wedding attendants...EACH! Purchasing gifts for all 10, 12, 14 or 18 bridesmaids and groomsmen then becomes a giant financial burden (at $100 each, that could be $1,800.00!).

If you go from a guest list of 150 down to 125 0r even 110, you'll find prices in other categories plummeting. You can order fewer invitations, you don't need as many favors, and you'll need fewer floral arrangements because you have fewer tables.

Other options?

You wanted peonies...in August? Being mindful of which flowers are in season during your wedding period will help defray costs in a way you might not believe!

Make your own invitations. Or hire a friend that makes amazing scrapbooks to help you, instead of doing the letter pressed-heavy weight card stock-with gold leafing invitations, programs and menu cards, can also save you lots of precious and finite money.

You can even cut cost with favors. Do what one of my previous couples did and give one favor per couple, while giving singles their own. Or just making a one time donation to your favorite charity (you'll get cards you can put on each table, or often at each place setting to inform your guests of the charitable gift in their honor). You'd be saving your budget, while helping someone else. That should feel good!

There are many ways to help put your budget back on the track to bridal bliss. Remember to be honest about your budget, be real in deciding how to balance your needs and your wants, and be creative!

Let your dream begin.

Invitations, an overview.

2007-04-12T14:36:00.000-07:00

I know, I know, I know...I owe you the second part of Bridal Bliss to Budget Bust, however, something caught my eye today and I wanted to share it with you immediately because sometimes in the hurricane of life, thoughts go as quickly as they come. This particular thought, I believe, can give a lot of people heaps of helpful information. That being said...I will finish the second budgeting post in the coming days. Stay tuned!

In the link attached to this post, Martha Stewart's impeccable team of wedding experts have put together a wonderful cache of information on invitations. It describes many of the things that make wedding invitations so beautiful, so breathtaking, and so very unique: paper weight and type, color, style, finish, printing methods, typeface, embellishments, etc.

This article got the memory portion of my brain stirring about the questions asked most often when it comes to brides and grooms addressing their guests' invitations. Well, it also brought up how to word the actual invites, then all of the possible inserts, but that would be much more than just one post, so I decided to stick to the one facet that has so many rules: Addressing.

So, just how do you do it? Please accept this offering of tips and "hard and fast" (or soft and blurry) rules to help you through the arduous task of addressing your own wedding invitations:

First, I beg of you, remember that abbreviations should not be used in either the body of invitations or in addressing the envelopes.

My golden rule: When in doubt, spell it out!

If a street number is less than 100, it should also be spelled out. Also, you should be writing out words such as "Street" and "Boulevard". The only exception to the abbreviation rule is "Mr." it can, and most often is, abbreviated. (Don't look at me, I didn't write the rule. I'm just trying to clarify it.) Names are a monster all their own, and we'll slay that dragon in a few short paragraphs.

After years of reviewing resources, I've found that the postal service has a preference regarding state names, and sometimes that preference changes. Most often, they ask that people write out the city name and then use the two letter state abbreviation without a comma between the two. However, I love seeing magnificent script, penning both city and state names...but in this instance I would separate these with a comma. Either option is perfectly acceptable. However, I strongly recommend asking your local post master which addressing option is going to be more accurate in delivery. This cuts down on a slew of returned invitations.

When adding a return address to the envelopes, the postal service requests that return address be printed (meaning, legibly written...whether it is done in your own hand writing, letter pressed, or by a professional calligrapher) in the upper left hand corner of the envelopes, and not put on the envelope's flap. This also helps insure that your guests will be able to clearly interpret the return address in the event that they need to change their RSVP status, send a gift or other written communication. It is also acceptable to emboss your return address on the envelope's flap. That being said, the United States Postal Service does not regularly recognize embossing.

In the event that an invite has been returned due to lack of postage, incorrect postage or illegible address (and believe me, it happens more often than anyone would like to admit), the old envelope should be discarded and a new one addressed in its place. I recommend that you order a few extra invites and additional outer envelopes, and set aside a few fully assembled invitations in the event that you should have some returns or additional unexpected invites. This helps to cut down stress. And we all know, it is all in cutting out the stress that makes for an enjoyable planning process. That, my friends, is what I'm all about.

I think that covers the postal part of this, but remember that dragon (the names)? It's beginning to breathe fire out if its cave...

How do you address your guests?

Well, that becomes a little tricky. I highly suggest having an outer and inner envelope, this can help immensely in distinguishing who is actually invited, and not just mere intention.

For families and family members:

Never, ever use the words "and family" on your wedding invitation envelopes.

How then, do you invite family members? Well, the rules are a little fuzzy here...some sources say that children over the age of 13 should get their own invites, some say 16, others say 18. I say, do what you are most comfortable with and what your budget allows for. If you have lots of young cousins, you may want to rethink the age limit of 13!

The parents and adults, of course, get the first line...Mr. and Mrs. Albert Snow (you can also write out Mister and Missus, and if you are considering this, I suggest you speak to a calligrapher or review more resources as to the best options for this). On the inner envelopes, feel free to write Grandma, Uncle Mike, or Aunt June. The inner envelopes are for informal terms and additional invites not listed on the outer envelope.

If the parents have small children, the names of the parents are on the outer envelope and the small children can then be written on the inner envelope. Now, if the children are older (and again, use your judgement on this one...I think it should be done about the age of 8 or 10), their names should get a line below their parents. If you are not inviting young children, as many choose to do, then leaving the names off of the inner envelope is the indicator. Siblings over the age of 18, living together in a residence outside their parents' home should be refereed to as Misses Ann and Mary Smith (for sisters) or Messrs. Joe and Jack Smith (for brothers), and if they are brother and sister, Mr. and Miss is appropriate. Confused yet? Wait, it gets worse. But, you will have the answers when you need them, I promise.

For your single friends:

You have a dear friend, and you want that friend to be able to bring a guest...the outer envelope would say Miss Jones, while the inner envelope would say, for example, Miss Jones and Guest. That way Miss Jones knows she is invited to bring along a date. Now, if you are limited on space, and are not able to let Miss Jones invite an extra guest, the inner envelope should just say, Miss Jones.

The last piece of information I want to include is a small chronicle to help guide you along the remaining path to appropriate addressing, and here it is:

For multiple boys under 12 years (second address line): The Masters Snow
For multiple girls under 12 years (second address line): The Misses Snow
For one girl, over or under 12 years: Miss Snow
For one boy, over 12 years: Mr. Alex Snow
Unmarried woman: Miss
Unmarried man: Mr.
Married couple: Mr. and Mrs. Smith
Husband as Ph.D., M.D. or D.D.S: Doctor and Mrs. Smith
Wife as Ph.D., M.D. or D.D.S: Doctor Ann Smith and Mr. Smith
Both are Ph.D., M.D. or D.D.S (with same last name): The Doctors Smith
Professor or Dean: Professor or Dean
Attorney: John Smith, Esq.
Office/Government/Judge, etc: The Honorable
Rabbi: Rabbi Jones
Catholic Priest: Reverend or Father (use Father on inner envelope)
Minister: Reverend
Military Office if Commissioned: Colonel and Mrs. Smith Second line:United States Navy
Widow: Mrs. Albert Smith
Divorced: Mrs. Ann Smith
Married with wife keeping maiden name: Ms. Ann Burns Second line: Mr. John Smith
Engaged couple or unmarried but living together: Miss Ann Burns Second line: Mr John Smith

Well folks, I think that about covers the mélange of possibilities of your guest combinations. I always look forward to the ones who will read all the way through this and give me more options. I am always looking for an opportunity to learn and grow. For now though, I hope that I have helped shed some insight into the mixed up, rule-laden land of invitation addressing.

Bridal Bliss to Budget Bust: Part One

2007-04-10T22:32:00.000-07:00

I recently picked up the phone and at the other end was a sobbing bride. Although it was hard to discern what she was saying between the heaving breaths and wails, I did catch “this isn’t fun anymore”. It happened. This was the inevitable moment when the Budget Bliss Express came to a screeching halt on the wedding planning line.

After calming the anxious bride, it was apparent what had occurred. The budget met the bride and groom and for the first time the bride and groom met the cold, hard, fixed budget. The nitty-gritty hidden fees had eaten a hole in the seven tiered, fondant-covered confection they were hell-bent on shoving into each others’ faces a few short months from today.

“So”, you ask, “What caused things to go so awry?”

It is the same thing I’ve seen over and over. Clients call, terribly excited and over-the-moon with elation because they’ve secured their dream venue! And on top of that, the location fees, service fees, food and beverage cost are all included in the price! And…the price the couple is quoted for the “all inclusive” service just happens to be the maximum this couple can afford on their location and catering: $15,000.00 ($100 a head for 150 guests). And guess what!!!???....they already signed on the dotted line.

Don’t see the problem? Well, let’s lay it out.

Usually, when a bride and groom go alone to see a venue, and that venue is just what they’ve always dreamt of, emotions run high and they go to a very primal place in the decision making process. To compound the issue is a lovely site person, behind a large mahogany desk saying things like “well, we do have a lot of interest for this particular date” and “I can’t guarantee the pricing for this beyond today”.

I equate this moment to buying a car or watching “Deal or No Deal” on the television. This is essentially Howie asking that golden question, and this couple chooses the big red button-the deal is made. This sales person has conned them into signing a contract and the next thing they do is bring in a contract and show me what a good deal they found!

Once we begin talking about it, we are able to wade through the miles of legal jargon and find the true meaning of the “fine print’, and the well known “buyer’s remorse” sets in. Only this time, there is a binding contract in the way of returning this shiny new purchase. That $15,000.00, all-inclusive dream-come-true, does not include a 9% state sales tax, a 20% service charge, and the gratuity you’ll be expected to leave with your catering captain the night of your big event. So, there goes your specialty linens, Chivari chair rentals and your spectacular horse drawn carriage entrance. The $15,000 you expected to spend has now become $21,000.

The next issue, how do you fix it?

Part Two will continue when I “wake up quite fresh in the morning. And then…” I’ll start right in budget fixing again.

Welcome to Encantare's Blog

2007-04-01T20:47:00.000-07:00

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