Wo Wunk

2009-07-15T16:45:00.002-05:00

Morella is not feeling well today. She seemed fine yesterday and didn't even go to sleep at her bedtime, which meant she got to go along with Tim grocery shopping. However, she was up late so I figured that was what this morning's weirdness was about.

At 9 she wanted to go back to bed. I figured she had a late night and usually she just plays in there until she gets bored and then comes out. During that time I took a shower and got ready for my doctor's appointment at 10. When I went to get her at 9.30 she was asleep! I felt bad for waking up her up, and let her go for another ten minutes and just decided going in her jammies was going to have be good enough.

The doctors appointment was fine. Four pounds in a week was explained away by water retention. I guess that might explain part of it. Ha ha. No seriously, my appetite has been weird and I have been drinking a lot of fluids. Sigh. I guess I should watch the caffeine intake though and maybe ... oh do I care anymore? I guess I care a little. But my blood pressure is low, pulse is fine and no protein in the urine so really I am okay. I shouldn't worry about it. I hate that going to the doctor every week at this point means you have to get on a scale. It's so stupid! I think that is one of the worst things about pregnancy -- if having other people monitor your weight gain.

So yeah. We got home and she wanted to go back to crib. I put her in and she fell asleep around 11.30 to 1.30. She was up when I got her, but didn't want to leave. I made her because she needed a new diaper and needed to be offered lunch. Besides I was so hungry I was shaking. 1/2 a piece of baloney and a few grapes later she wanted what? Yep back to bed. I was helping her and noticed she felt warm so I took her temperature. 101.9

Crap. I gave her motrin and then a 1/2 hour later she felt much better and was ready to get out of her crib and play a little. I needed to go to Woodman's to get some butter and ingredients for dinner so I asked if she wanted to go on a walk. She said yes and jumped in her stroller. We walked to Woodmans, stopped at the park to swing for about 10 minutes and then walked home. Of course it was totally leisurely, that is the only way I can walk and not feel like crap anymore.

Came home, and I let her watch about 20 minutes of TV and then noticed she wasn't in the living room anymore. Instead she was lying on her floor on a pile of blankets next to her crib. Sigh. I put her back in with her stuffies. She is in there now talking to herself while I dethaw chicken and talk with you guys.

We are going to have pesto chicken pizza for dinner tonight. You know there is no tomato sauce in it? I kind of thought so and some internet research agreed. It should be interesting. Morella doesn't like garlic, or food -- so she probably won't eat. She has been drinking soy milk okay though so hopefully her low appetite is because she isn't feeling well. I just have to remember the mantra "They eat when they are hungry."

Yes, they do. I can't force food down her mouth.

Ugh I hope she doesn't have an ear infection.

I bought some pregnancy tea and primrose oil. I am not going overboard but I am hoping that introducing it to my diet that Crouton will come more on time. I don't need another full month of this.

There I said it. People keep asking if I am just "done" or "can't wait to get it out" and all that. Sure folks, I am really effing uncomfortable. It hurts to walk, moving at night makes me want to scream, I hate feeling like I have to pee all the time, I had actually peeing all the time, I don't like the jabs and punches I get from inside -- the cute little "oh she kicked" phase has been long over. I don't like feeling like I am going to vomit the second I get over heated. What do people want to hear? Is this what they want to hear? Gah.

On the other hand, I want Crouton. I want her to be as healthy as she can possibly be and if it means doing all of this, then I am glad for every freaking minute of it and don't dare want to give the impression that I don't want her -- here inside me or otherwise.

Oh the mail just came. I wonder if we got anything good. Probably not. Okay. I need to go and start dinner.

2009-07-13T14:58:00.003-05:00

All afternoon post Tidbit style

Start time 3:00PM.

--> I woke up feeling like crap this morning. Overtired, my chest hurts, there is still sinus junk lingering from that cold two or three weeks ago, the pelvic floor pain is unbelievable and walking hurts. Tim then said I snored. A lot and quite loudly and that HE had to do the bed jiggle and nudging. Let me tell you, hearing that you are snoring logs is just not that great to hear. :( I mean, I guess it might explain why my face felt not right this morning and why I feel so tired, and for a long time I was wondering if it would explain why it feels like I have chest conjestion, but I don't think snoring goes down that deep.

-->I just cleaned up a massive sippy cup fail. She had dropped it earlier and I guess the lid was just barely on. It was a full cup of bean juice and it splashed all over her, the floor and red rug covering wires. Now I need to take that rug outside and hose it down.

-->I am baking banana bread with bananas that I am not sure where rotten or really very overly ripe. I guess we'll find out in a 1/2 hour more.

-->I also feel vaguely crampy today. Like when you are expecting your period to arrive any minute.

-->I had to return a key to the Monona community center for the shelter we rented on Friday for a Baby Daddy Shower I co-hosted. While we were there, I took Morella to the Dream park and she had 40 minutes of a blast.

-->Banana bread is awesome.

-->Fish fried with cornmeal, and zucchini, onion and some red green type thing saute for dinner. Working on it now.

-->Morella keeps getting into my underwear and pulling it all out of the drawer and then wearing it like a necklace.

--
---Now Tim is home -- I should publish and work on it later.

2009-07-09T21:20:00.002-05:00

Take three putting Morella to bed. I put her down at 7. She cried until 7:30 when I got her up for an extra 1/2 an hour. At 8 I put her down again. She cried until 8:30 when I got her up again, this time I gave her tylenol. She wanted to go back to bed at 9:10 and now she has been more her usual going to bed Morella. Singing, quiet talk, long pauses, etc. I think whatever her problem was, the tylenol cured it. She also took it willingly, so I am thinking she knew.

Meanwhile I watched Bones, I might like that show. Washed dishes from the picnic basket and put dirty ones into the dishwasher. While Morella was running around she knocked over a jewelry box and broke it. I should go and pick that stuff up and fix it. Sigh. I drank a tall cup of iced tea this evening and while it's giving me a little boost of energy the overwhelming state of everything around her is smooshing it down into a little pile of grease.

Sigh. We both took a huge nap today though mine was much more restless than Morella's. They were sawing all day in the house next door to us building a deck. One gets so used to wearing ear plugs that soon the profound sound of silence is expected. I don't mind sleeping out in the woods though, that kind of noise is okay. It's just the whining of motorized equipment that bugs the heck out of me. After the nap, I realized I was late to the playgroup meeting that no one showed up for, and I had to pick up a key for a baby shower I am co hosting tomorrow. After that I ended up just coming home and taking Morella outside in the backyard to play making sure to douse ourselves in deet. Even so, I got several bites. I did manage to sweep the deck and mostly weed the garden in the hour we were outside before I just sat down and watched Morella play.

[She is crying again, and upset....what is wrong??!?!]

Okay. I wanted to get a few more pictures in before getting back to the grind of ... well my aimless wandering around trying to get stuff done. I think my real goal of the day was to clean the bathroom, maybe I should get back to that and finish that goal. I didn't get far because Morella bombed the place and I lost heart.

These are from the 4th of July and Morella's first parade ever:

2009-07-08T12:39:00.001-05:00

Today was my 36 1/2 week appointment. I had to find childcare for Morella because I was going to have to get undressed for the strep B, and cervix check (hopefully the only one before action day). It rained this morning so I ended up giving Tim a ride to work (he skates normally and his bike is currently out of commission), so he went with me to drop off Morella. When it came time to leave he walked out, and I was about to follow when Karen, the woman watching him said "You should say good bye."

Morella heard the word good bye at that point and came crying towards me. Ugh. I'll admit. I'm a coward. I hate to see her cry and think it's just so much easier to leave while she is occupied. However, I can also see why saying good bye and telling her I will be back is better for the long run. Sigh. I said bye bye, she cried I left with that image in my head. Of course later when I picked her up, she didn't want to leave and Karen said she only cried for maybe a minute. That is so good to know. :D

Anyway. So. The appointment. I gained in two weeks ... drumroll please .... .75 pound. Yes, only 3/4 of a pound. Nuts how different it can be towards the end isn't it? Of course I celebrated afterward by getting an iced McDonald's coffee and sausage and egg with cheese biscuit in addition to my grocery store donut run. Lol -- rest assured I am not hungry for lunch so it should even out.

0% dilation
0% effacement
baby is headdown filling up my pelvis and she is 100% positive it's the head.

She was really unable to tell dilation or effacement because my cervix is so freaking far back and hidden that she can't get there. Just like last time. I swear, I have a cervix that was designed for multiples.

However, she does think I will go into labor on my own this time. She is going to be gone during my due date (July 29 - August 3rd). Plus, Tim's Mom said she can't baby sit July 27th and 28th...so how many people want to take guesses as to when Crouton will arrive? Anyone?

Despite my best efforts of having the next appointment scheduled in two weeks -- she insisted that they be weekly now and I make an appointment for next week. I also went ahead and finished making weekly appointments out until August 12th.

My plan is to start drinking red raspberry leaf tea starting next Saturday, taking evening primrose and walking as much as I can.

This evening we are supposed to go to Concert on the Square for our yearly concert. Tim's company sponsors this one, so we get VIP seating up front on the Capitol. However, I am not sure if it will be canceled. It's supposed to rain this morning but then clear off by 1:00, so there is still plenty of time for it not to be canceled. We will know by 3:00. In the meantime, during Morella's nap I need to put the dishes away, mop the kitchen floor and bake some cake for Hilary to decorate for Friday's babyshower.

That said, I should probably get going and quit yapping. At least for now.

2009-07-07T10:16:00.002-05:00

Morella's First Shave
(She's growing up so fast! *sniff*)

These were from last night and too cute not to share. Morella was getting ready for bed and after she was done brushing her teeth decided that afterward they needed to shave.

--------------

In other news. My headache is finally gone today. Hurray! I took a shower this morning and am freshly scrubbed. Morella is wearing an adorable pink summer dress, I'll have to take a picture of later. I want to take some shots of her and me outside ... I guess with the camera on the car using the timer... because this belly is unbelievable! I mean, it's just so ... big. I didn't really realize how out there it was until yesterday when I took a snap shot of myself and Morella and really looked at the picture. I'd share it, but you know I look like crap and have some restraint. ;)

So after my shower I put on Wisteria perfume from Crabtree and Evelyn. I actually really like perfume and always put some on after taking a shower or when I am going out someplace interesting or special. Not a lot, just a little. This bottle of Wisteria perfume was the last one I bought and I got it as a special gift to myself when I graduated from the Reproductive Endocrinologist to a regular OBGYN when I was pregnant with Morella. I was just thinking today how Crouton needs her own special perfume too. I should go out and see what I can smell....you know, I don't want to play favorites.

When I got out of the shower today I had this fantasy that my house looked clean like a magazines and everything was in it's special place, with no cobwebs, dust, clothes on the floor, toys strewn about, papers filed away, all that other crap was where it should be. It was a nice fantasy for a second. Then I wondered if maybe this visualization was a hint of nesting? That would be cool.

Here is one more picture of my cutie pie.

2009-07-05T22:00:00.002-05:00

I have a really bad headache that tylenol isn't touching. I drank a cup of extra sleepy time tea and started a load of dishes in the dishwasher as well as put away the food -- and that is enough for now. I can't do any more. My head hurts too much. No it's not the worst headache of my life it just really, really sucks.

Morella didn't take a nap today. Not even a short pretend 10 minute nap. She has never done this before. Tim and I both really could have used that nap time too to take a nap ourselves. Maybe I would have been able to get rid of this monster ache before it got worse. She also didn't get up until 8.45 or so, which is a record sleep in -- I didn't think it would be enough to eliminate a nap though...ugh.

At the suggestion of Burt Bee's insect repellent from Hilary, we went and got some today at Woodman's. I also got the stupid Off dry and smooth spray (LAME!) so that I could put the natural stuff on her skin and the deety stuff on clothes. It worked out well, she didn't end up with any extra bites. I got two just using the super lame dry and smooth spray. What's wrong with oily deet? And I am tired of the complaints on how bad it smells -- it smells like awesome protection, relief from skeeters and safety.

Today was one of those "I've been better" days. The head ache, the uncomfortableness of pregnancy, the hormone mood swings, the getting tired and hurty and blah blah blah.

Try easier. Go to bed.

2009-07-04T09:17:00.002-05:00

I recaulked the kitchen sink this morning. The caulk promises to dry clear -- I hope so for the sake of the sink. It's times like this you just gotta jump into home improvement projects feet first.

2009-07-03T22:14:00.002-05:00

It was a pretty good day. Morella had gone to bed yesterday at 6.30, and the day before it was 5:10 and she did sleep through the whole night both times. Maybe she is growing? All the sleep is doing her some good though because she seems to be coming out of her little funk.

Anyway. Today I decided that I was going to fool myself into thinking that I am not that pregnant and I can still do plenty of normal things like take Morella to the zoo. I stopped at McDonald's on the way to get me an iced coffee and her a sausage patty and we were on our way. Tim had asked about garage sales this morning and I told him "I honestly don't have it in my to do that right now. Carrying Morella in and out, watching her while shopping, and I can't run after her if she makes a run for it." It's true. Just the thought of it exhausts me. I can do the zoo. Put her in a stroller and push.

I didn't plan on the zoo being as nuts as it was. I guess a lot of people had today off because the fourth is on Saturday. We looked through the aviary, looked at a bear, almost petted some goats and then left to go wade in the beach. That lasted like two minutes. I swear, Morella was the most unadventurous kid. On our way back to the car, we passed the playground and she spied the swings. Five minutes later she ended up on the swings for a few minutes before her lack of a nap ....

man I am tired. This post is losing it. I should just hurry up and finish.

Came home. She slept a total of maybe 15 minutes. Got her up. She played really good around the house while I cleaned. We went outside to play and got eaten alive by mosquito's. I gave up after 15 minutes and 9 bites (not to mention the several Morella got on her face). It was 4:00 by then and she was totally ready for a nap. I changed her diaper and put her down. She chatted for about 5-10 minutes before going to sleep and I took a nap. She woke up at 5ish crying, but stopped after 3 minutes and then finally got up at 6:00 when I walked in to check on her. I had just opened the door to take a peek. A moment passed and then she sat up with a big smile on her face like she was waiting for me to open the door. Even though she hadn't said a word!

She got up, ran around a bit. I made her a cream cheese sandwich and poured a glass of milk because I felt lazy and like it was Friday and maybe she didn't have to eat at the table (and besides I didn't feel like sitting there). Sandwich eaten, and Tim still wasn't home from his after work beer, I decided to take her out to the Monona Community festival. There was supposed to be some kind of drum exhibition and if it sucked there was always the park.

We show up and the exhibition was teenage bands doing death/speed metal. It sucked. However the play ground was relatively empty for a change so we played there. Morella had fun swinging, crawling around and exploring. An ex-navy wife talked my ear off at the swings -- I felt kind of bad for her because it was obvious she was lonely and wanted to meet other other Mom's but at the same time she was like 25 and so young, and Crouton was kicking me and I had to pee and the teeny midway they had next to the park was really loud.

As we were leaving I decided to walk through the midway with Morella. She spied the carousel and was obsessed with it. I stood by it and we watched for awhile before moving on. As I passed the ticket counter I saw the price was a dollar a ticket and small rides were two tickets. I didn't have any money so I kept walking. We went around and were heading back to the car when we came up to the carousel again. This time Morella was insistent in making her wishes known to me. She pointed at the carousal, did the sign for want, and raised her arms for me to pick her up. She did this several times with a very serious expression on her face and could barely contain herself. I melted and counted my change -- I had just enough for two tickets.

I bought the tickets, counting out my coins. Walked to the carousel and waited patiently for the ride to end, and Morella watched the ride like a greyhound sitting next to a rabbit, and I noticed "This Ride is 3 Tickets". Oh no. Three? Crap. I had NO money. I looked through my bag to make sure. Looked around and saw no ATM's. And then decided to try and ask if the dude would let her ride for only two tickets. Turns out he couldn't do it. Pft. Whatever. I then asked if I could get a refund for those two tickets, and he said I could ask.

I walked back to the ticket booth with a heavy heart. I was about to disappoint my little girl who tried very hard to communicate with me the one thing she wanted to be adventurous on today. I get to the ticket booth and explain the situation to the lady. She takes the tickets and then hands me another type of ticket that says good for multiple people. Wha?!?! She basically gave me the extra ticket -- I was astounded and thanked her profusely.

Green ticket in hand we walked back to the carousel where no one else had gotten on in the time we were gone and waited for him to notice us. He did, and we were the only ones to ride it. Morella held on tight and with a very serious expression we rode around and around. As it ended, I told her it was done and for a moment I could she her want to protest before I added "And now we can go home and see Daddy." There was no more argument. She got into her stroller and drank some milk as we walked to the car and drove home.

She was quite happy to see Tim when we got home, and of course threw a huge fit about going to bed (as in she wasn't in bed fast enough).

Anyway. I don't think I will forget that experience with Morella and the carousel for as long as I live. It was one of those special Morella and me moments that are about to end with Crouton's arrival. Sigh. I should go to bed.

2009-07-01T10:02:00.002-05:00

Sigh. The clinic called to say the forms hadn't been filled out yet because my Dr was out yesterday. A fact we all knew, and any doctor would have sufficed. But instead, whoever has their grubby hands on them decided my doctor should be the one to fill them out and will hopefully get to it today and will give me a call when that happens. Um. Okay?

We have not gone anywhere this morning. Morella is STILL out of sorts. I gave her some tylenol about 15 minutes ago and she gave me huge meltdown over a diaper change. I put her to bed after that. Aside from a little seasame Street time this morning and breakfast with Daddy, she has spent most of the morning in her crib. I went in there and read her poetry and books for about an hour before putting clothes and toys away.

I wish I knew why she was feeling so out of sorts. Is it the grey, cold overcast day? Is it that I can't run around and play with her? I can't just pick her up and fly by the seats of our pants wherever adventure wants to take us? I feel like it's going to be one of those days were you just keep slogging through and hope the forecasters are right about the sun coming out later.

My nose is still full of snot -- maybe the cold is not out yet. I guess I'll go and get dressed and make the bed.

2009-07-01T08:49:00.003-05:00

Ugh, I think this cold might be finally on it's way out. I woke up this morning being able to breath and sleeping not propped up, so that is a good thing. It's another cool and overcast day. I was trying to think of something to do with Morella that she might enjoy. The things she likes most in the world right now are:

stroller rides
swinging
looking/playing with other kids
her crib

So... maybe the zoo? It's cool, we could walk around in the stroller and I would have bathrooms close by should I need them. Ha ha, should? Oh it's a definite know.

Yesterday I dropped off Tim's FMLA forms to the clinic. I asked that they call when they are filled out and I would pick them up today, but I wonder if that is going to happen. I feel like I might have to be making a call later on to see. Yesterday Morella and I did a bunch of errands in the morning (dropping those forms off, going to Happy Bambino to find diaper liners, and then Cubs to get her more milk). The rest of the afternoon was filled up by a massive three hour nap and a trip to the park where she swung, played and generally had some fun until she wanted to go home and find something for dinner ... or ... hang out in her crib which is what I think she really wanted.

I got a package in the mail for some fairy books that I had ordered for my Mom's belated birthday present. I looked through them while watching TV and then got bored. I then took a super long, hot shower and then looked at everything I look at on the internet before everything had been read and went to bed. These days don't often happen. I had entertained working on Morella's baby book..oh wait! I framed a postcard and hung it up...so that is kind of crafty. Sigh. It's just that the house is a mess, and things require bending over and picking up crap or blah blah blah and I just don't have the stamina for that at night. So when a night does pop up where I have a little extra energy I don't know what to do with it. At least if that happened on a Wednesday I could watch So You Think You Can Dance (which I have been doing while doing other things).

What a long post about nothing.

2009-06-29T14:16:00.002-05:00

It was another busy weekend. Two more of them coming up and then we are done for awhile for the summer? Maybe?

Tim got his mojo back last week. He totally killed the final two tests on his 2005 SQL certification tests, without even studying or worrying about it. I remember the first test he took (1 of 4), we had spent months studying and getting ready for it, and he was so worried and now look. He rolls out of bed, staggers to the test site and is home earlier than expected having passed. Sheesh.

Then, he competed in the Badger State Games inline 1/2 marathon on Sunday near Appleton. We drove up to his parents on Saturday night after finding a dog sitter for Pluto and ... I don't know what else we did on Saturday. Uh. Oh I got up early with Morella on Saturday so he could sleep in, did breakfast and then took her to storytime at Barnes and Nobles to see Spot the dog followed by a trip to Borders so I could get snack and buy a baby book for Crouton. Morella's mood turned foul at some point in Borders and we left. Came home and she took a nap while Tim and I napped, putzed and got ready. I picked up vegetables, went online to talk to my little brother about my Mom (she is in the hospital currently) and then cooked a bunch of food. Tim mowed the lawn, weeded and did some laundry.

We got to Tim's parents late, but it was a super easy transition for Morella because they got a crib! She is so at home in cribs. I hope that doesn't say anything for a future behind bars...

Anyway. Tim went out to buy soymilk and look at the course with his Dad after she went down and I stayed up making some cookies for my friend Sarah who just had a baby. After that Tim and I screwed around on the Wii fit, which declared me to be obese. Tim is looking forward to the result after Crouton. Ha ha. I am too.

Sunday Tim did his race and got 7th - middle of the pack, along with a score of 1 hour and 1 min or something. Pretty good considering he didn't train obsessively for that like he had with previous races. Again, just him knocking out goals one after the other! While waiting Morella mysteriously melted down and threw one of the biggest tantrums to date ... my goodness. Where are they coming from? Why are they happening? She's on so many eating strikes lately that we can only assume it's from teeth. I cannot wait until those blasted teeth are in. Sigh.

After the race, we went back to his parents and had lunch with amazing jello (Morella scarfed that down) and took long naps. It was so nice. Upon waking Morella was beastly, so we gave her some Motrin and took her outside to play with a plastic car that you can ride in for an hour or so before packing up and heading out to visit Sarah. It took us a while to find her place -- lots of driving around sleuthing it out, but we eventually found it.

Of course Sarah doesn't look like she just had a baby, and what's even more amazing is that BOTH of her kids were sleeping! Yeah, she said that happens a lot. Man, everyone has assured me that Crouton and Morella will not sleep at the same time. Wouldn't it be a nice surprise if that wasn't the case? In any case, it was nice to visit with Sarah, Dave and her Mom with just Morella playing with Ruth's toys. We only lasted about 50 minute before Morella started melting down again. Sarah brought out her new son and he looked just like a little Harrison Ford! Adorable!

They suggested Mary's family restaurant for dinner and we hit it before heading out of town. Morella didn't eat a thing, spilled her apple juice and started chatting wiht the patrons on either side of us. Ugh, this girl was barely containable. She didn't sleep most of the ride home, we picked up Pluto and then made it home before the fireworks started. I was able to put Morella to bed without a problem and then after a little internet time went to bed myself.

Gah. Another night of sleeping propped up because of this cold and Crouton. It just feels so creepy to me to sleep sitting up. When I got up this morning I actually thought to myself "It's okay, we are in the final countdown to having to do this..." Really? Am I starting to think of Crouton as in the final countdown? It seems a little early still to do that. It's only a little over 35 weeks...there are still plenty more ... I mean if you went by how Morella did then it could be another 7 weeks. That's like TWO MORE MONTHS! Lots of people have said that super active babies tend to be born earlier, but this kid is super active (kicking as I type this now) and I don't know. I just don't believe it. I guess we'll just have to see.

This morning we did playgroup at the park and Morella opted to swing for most of it. Crabby once again. Came home in time to vacuum before Lowen and Sigrid showed up to look through oodles of jewelery and help themselves. Ate lunch and then put Morella down for a nap around 12. She has been sleeping since then...I hope it's a solid three hour nap. That girl needs it!

Speaking of needs, I need some more tylenol. It feels like a headache day to me. :( But I love the cooler, windy weather. It's a nice break from the heat.

Okay back to the grind.

2009-06-26T17:22:00.002-05:00

Friday Photo: The Fashion Diva

My old college friend Karen sent us a box of her daughter's outgrown clothes which we received this afternoon. Morella helped me open the package and then take out each item of clothing exclaiming over every piece. When we had finished looking at all the wonderful items of clothing she picked out the pink tutu and teal tank top to wear...as in she tried to put them on. I helped her a bit, and here we have the end result.

2009-06-25T19:09:00.003-05:00

Those who have known me the longest know that Michael Jackson was once a big part of my life. Not because I had a huge crush on him or thought he was the bees knees, but because my Mother did. She had posters everywhere, listened to his tapes constantly over and over, watched Moonwalker a thousand times, quoted facts about his life to us on a daily basis, and make scuplutres of him out of any median she could get her hands on. One the most memorable sculptures was made out of newspaper, tape, paint, porceline finish (found at a craft store) and ... well anything else she thought would help. I wonder what ever happpened to that bust. Hm. Anyway. So to have my Mom lose her BFF and now first iconic crush must really be depressing her. I can just imagine that this is one of those things that she would have called Carla and talked hours about. Instead who is left but me? I can't talk tonight. I need to go to bed. I had Tim take the day off from work and call in sick to help me. He ended up with a compromise of working from home.

Sigh. Okay. To bed with me. I have to feel better. I just have too!

2009-06-25T02:54:00.001-05:00

This night's "sleep" really sucks, but the kicker is that tomorrow (today?) is going to suck even more.

2009-06-24T21:19:00.002-05:00

This has to be about the worst day of this entire pregnancy, right next to the norovirus birthday party. But no, I had help that day. Today was just ... awful. This cold is just wrecking me. I have had a pounding headache all day, my nose won't stop dripping, my throat was so unbelieavably sore. Last night was super sucky because I couldn't breath both because of the cold and Crouton's moving is so uncomfortable.

I really wanted to call in sick. To take a break. Except I couldn't do that. I could barely take a stupid nap this afternoon because of the breathing and nose running issue. Thank god So you Think You Can Dance was on to help keep my mind off the my next tylenol dosage.

Now watch. Morella, who barely at 400 calories today is going to get it. For a moment, I almost wished I had my Mom help...except you know not the Mom I have now. The Mom from when I was 10.

I feel very lonely today.

2009-06-23T21:51:00.002-05:00

Oh my. I think I am sick!! Like a cold or something. It started with a few sneezes and now I have a runny nose and that extra fluid is making my throat hurt a bit, plus I am tired. It could also be coincidental to turning on the AC. I really hope that is it. I don't want to be sick! More importantly, I don't want Morella to get sick. :(

I bought a kiddie pool today and bottoms to a maternity swim top lent to my by my friend Rachel. I thought I would never wear it...now look I went out and got brown bottoms to go with it. Sheesh. It's because Thursday we are planning on the Monona Community pool. I also got Morella a new swimsuit from Old Navy. It's a full on shirt and bottom...I like that it's good sun coverage to my pale little flower. Though to be honest, I don't think she burns easily. She maybe fair but she can handle the sun pretty well.

Tim and I watched Bedtime Stories tonight while I sorted through more jewelry. It was an okay movie. I mean, better than anything else on TV right now that is for sure.

Okay. Going to bed early for a change and hoping that by tomorrow I will be as right as rain. My friend Sigrid is going to baby sit Morella for an hour or so tomorrow morning while I go to my doctor's appointment. I think she might be nervous. I am hoping that Morella's reunion with Zilla the deaf bulldog will ease her seperation anxiety.

Tim was a dearheart and made brownies for me tonight. It's awesome because I am going to give some to Sigrid for watching Morella. Plus I had a brownie sundae tonight just awhile ago and it was delicious! For dinner I made a spin on spaghetti carbonera -- I sauteed broccoli, some kind of green, garlic scrapes, and shrimp with oven cooked bacon (I just drained the fat straight into the sauce pan), then mixed it with a jar of alfredo and the spaghetti and voila! Fantastic dinner! I was even able to eat the sea bugs --- probably because they were sauteed with bacon. Bacon makes everything good.

2009-06-22T23:19:00.002-05:00

I turned on the air conditioner today, except I didn't. You see Morella was up howling at 6:00AM this morning. We gave her Motrin and after that she seemed a bit better. Around 9:30 she took a lie down, in which I just left her door open and went and laid down in my bed to rest. I was really tired because yesterday my cousin had come into town and we had a big day on State Street (Memorial Union Terrace, State Street walk, dinner at the Old Fashioned and mocha's from Michaelangelo's) and the coffee had made it so that Tim and I were up until 12:30. I also think the heat has something to do with it...a little summer insomnia and daylight infusion.

Anyway. So I laid down for about 1/2 an hour before she wanted out. She didn't really sleep, she rested, as I had done. I figured there was still plenty of time to head to the play group meeting at Walter so I asked her if she wanted to go to the park and of course she said yes. We headed out. It wasn't too bad. I took it slow. We got there and chatted with others ... turns out the boy with the possible swine flu did NOT have it. Whew!!! Still Morella is not coming with me on Wednesday to my doctor appointment. I pushed Morella in the swing for a long time and then eventually she moved to the slide where standing 4 minutes in the sun made me feel desperately sick and I wanted to go home.

We went home. It was a long, long walk. I closed the windows. Turned on the AC and after a while the house got nice and cool. The day wore on and around 10:30 I get up to get a drink of water and notice "hey it's kind of warm in here!" I check the thermostat and it says 81. Huh?! Tim then asked me if I turned it on outside and I said no.

So you see, I turned only the air on. The house was kept cool from the basement. That was nice, but now that the cool air is shooting through the vents I appreciate that much more. ;)

When we put Morella to bed, she cried that painful cry and we got her out to give her motrin and time for it to kick in. Let's just say that 1/2 hour of past bedtime she had, was the most fun she had all day. Geez! I felt mean putting her back to bed when clearly could have gone on for a lot longer. But toddlers need sleep, whether they know it not! She went to sleep after 5 minutes and we haven't heard a peep since. I hope she gets a good night's sleep and that those stupid teeth come in soon.

So Byron dropped off a bunch of jewelry, some of his old baby clothes and toys. Morella has been playing with those toys all day. One of them I suspect might have led painting on it, so she hasn't played with that one. The rest are plastic or unpainted wood. One of them is this little grasshopper that you pull around on a string. I put a string on it and pulled it to show Morella how it worked and I swear when the leg broke (a nail fell out, I hammered it back into a new place) she fought me tooth and nail over it! She loves it! It's so cute that she likes it. Awww.

My aunt had a ridiculous collection of watches. What should I do with them? Buy batteries and regift them? Find a friend who is interested in clock art? Hm. I was really pleased to find some old Ho Chunk regalia things liked a beaded belt, a three tier necklace and a hair ribbon. So cool. There was also a really, really old handmade indian doll there. I really wish I knew the story to it. Who made it, etc. Alas that information is forever gone. I'll take some photos of them later this week.

Here are some pictures from yesterday, I gotta get to bed before midnight tonight.

2009-06-20T21:33:00.003-05:00

34 Weeks with Crouton!

For fun I decided to wear the same outfit I did the last time. I think I'll do it for the last one too...I wish I had done it all the way though, but that would have been impossible as I didn't get the yellow shirt until last month at a garage sale.

For extra credit -- I went and compiled them all so far. Please click on the photo to bring up the larger image.

2009-06-19T22:44:00.002-05:00

Kind of a bummer to the day. I found out that my Mom's best friend passed away on Wednesday by reading it in the online obits. I called my Mom to see how she was doing and she had just found out a 1/2 hour before I called. I ended up talking with her a little over an hour. If you know me, then you should know that is an epic amount of time I spent on the phone.

In other non bummery news, I conqured my fear of driving to the west side and did just that with Morella today to get Tim's father's day present. While we were there we spent a little time at the play area in the mall -- what a madhouse. She had fun but after 10-15 minutes had enough. I quick counted 25-30 children in a small enclosed space just while we were there. Nuts I tell you.

Morella took a long nap. I took a little nap. It was so muggy today! I let her go without a shirt all afternoon with the exception of the park outing. I asked her if she wanted to go outside and she said yes. But when I headed to the back door she threw a huge fit and pointed to her stroller. She wanted to go for a walk. So we walked to the park at the of our street and she went on the swings for 25 solid minutes. Then we were done and came home.

She's a swing junkie!

I'm still glad it's summer though, even if it is super humid.

2009-06-18T21:00:00.002-05:00

Morella has gone to the bathroom, closed the door and was relatively quiet (talking to herself) for a few minutes. I went in there to investigate and found this. She was sitting on the back of the toilet, washing her hands in the cat water. How did she get up there? Sheesh. She was quite proud of herself and very, very chatty. She had a full on conversation with me about ... something. One day her words will make sense, right?

Anyway. It was a busy day. I am sitting on my bed right now with my feet up, utilizing the many pillows I have and resting. I would be on the desktop computer looking at the better pictures and stuff but my feet can't totally handle that right now. Plus, I am kind of crampy tonight. Maybe it's the heat or the long day. Who can say, but I do know that general advice is to put your feet up, drink water and relax.

This morning started off with me wanting to put the cats into a soundproof box and setting them outside in the middle of the yard so that they would let us sleep. They were at it a 1/2 an hour earlier than normal and employing all the annoying tactics I hate. 1. Jumping off the window onto one of us (for me they seem to aim for the belly). 2. Jumping off me into the window (one of then stepped on my face). 3. Fighting with each other, 4. Meowling loudly in the hallway outside Morella's door, 5. Sharpening their claws on the side of our bed and 6. Batting our faces with their paws. Finally I was mad enough to get up, go to the bathroom (and pee while I was there...) and fill up one of the squirt guns I bought for this very purpose. I came out with water blazing and squirted every single on of the furry brats and went back to bed. It actually stopped them! Now the gun is by my bedside, fully loaded waiting until tomorrow morning.

At about 8:00 Tim came into the room telling me to get out of bed and that he needed help. Totally cracking the whip. :P

Today we went to Woodman's to get the ingredients for the dish I was going to bring to the East Side Mom's club picnic. I had said I would be "nacho wheels" -- and no I had no real good idea how to make them. I just figured they would be like all pinwheels --add enough cream cheese and you got an appetizer. Here is my recipe:

2 packages of cream cheese
1 container sour cream (16oz)
1 package of taco seasoning (I used 1/2 the package because my target audience was kids and you know they don't like things TOO spicy)
1 bunch green onions
1 package of shredded cheese (I used preshredded as I had to make it as fast as possible)
1 can black refried beans
10 burrito size tortillas

Mix the first three ingredients, then spread beans on tortilla, cover with layer of cheese stuff, sprinkle a few green cut up onions on it, and top with shredded cheese, roll up, slice, and then arrange and voila! Instant hit at potluck. They were all gone except the "polite two". You know, the last two no one wants to take because they don't want to appear greedy?

Sadly, the potluck suffered from the "too many treats" syndrome. There were no main dishes, only four appetizers and the rest were sweets. I was a little disappointed and even more so when Morella didn't want to eat any of it. Later on near the end pigs in a blanket showed up and I was able to feed her two cocktail weenies before giving up altogether. For this reason, Tim and I have decided that we usually will bring savory dishes to potlucks. I think the reason people don't do that is because it doesn't seem very special -- but moreover because making sweet things is easier.

Also, I didn't really like the location. The shelter and tables were far away from the playground equipment and there wasn't much for the kids to play with at the picnic. Morella got a huge scrape on her leg from climbing decorative blocks of concrete, and since it was in a new development there wasn't much in the way of trees and everything looked like a lego playland.

Morella feel asleep on the drive home for about 5-10 minutes. I had changed her diaper right before leaving so I was able to put her right to bed. I felt sick from eating too many sweets, standing, chasing after Morella and so I gratefully laid down for a nap. Except... "ticka ticka ticka blah blah ga ga da doo" going on through the baby monitor for the next hour. Ugh. Man kid, go to sleep! Except she wouldn't because she was having fun just hanging out in her crib so and I finally had to get her up because it was clear she wasn't going to sleep.

I fed her lunch. She ate two bites and declared herself done. She barely ate anything today except for drinking milk.

Then we decided to talk a walk. There was a garage sale going on a couple blocks away so I figured we could check it out. I didn't see anything I wanted and the whole sale looked a little *too* thrown together. You know, I can tell professional garage sales when I see them, and by professional I mean they do the same one over and over and over...with lots of collectibles. We kept walking and ended up at the Eastmoreland Park where Morella swung on the baby swing for a small eternity and nearly falling asleep several times. After about 25 minutes I packed her up and made the long trek home. Did she want to eat then? Take a nap? Oh heavens no.

Outside we went. Oh crap...that reminds me that stuff is still out there! I didn't put anything away. Whoops! Tim can do it when he gets home. Yeah...

Anyway. So I filled up some water stuff for her, opened the sandbox, and laid out a blanket. She likes to lay on blankets ... it's really cute. We are currently dog sitting right now, so that dog wanted to come out. It immediately took a huge pee in front of Morella's side, in our play area. It's also pooped several times in places that I deem to be too close to civilization but the poop is so runny I am not sure it's even possible to pick up. I am hoping that we do get rain eventually and it will wash it away. As for the pee, I hosed the area down, moved her slide and sent the dog back in.

You know. I don't know if this is a big secret. But I am really not a dog person...at least right now at this point in my life. Cats are creatures of indifference, they don't need as much affection and care as dogs do. Before having a baby I could handle it and enjoyed doing it. Now I just see it as another needy thing needing my attention and making things harder. Harder as in, I have to make sure our delicate dog doesn't get near our rambunctious daughter or any of her little friends. And you know he constantly wants attention, and is whiney and blah blah blah. I'm just burnt out by the end of the day. Maybe dogs will be more fun when the kids are older, and the dog doesn't need to be handled with such fine kid gloves. You know? Or maybe it's the whole being pregnant, caring for a toddler and not having the extra energy that is it. I don't know.

FINALLY, at 4:30 I had enough. I changed Morella's very wet diaper and her filthy onesie and put her down for a nap. I needed to lay down myself and did so. Tim eventually came home and got his stuff for his game and left. He asked me if I was doing okay and I had said I didn't feel good. I was feeling crampy and sort of sick again. I think it might be related to the heat...and all that activity I did today. He left before 6. I microwaved some frozen brats leftover from the Memorial Day BBQ we had, cooked some fries and ate a piece of pie before turning on the TV. Morella eventually got up at 6:35.

I fed her dinner, we chatted, and watched a little TV. I decided that she didn't need to see the full episode of Bones, and turned it off to read books. We did that for a while and then wanted to go back to bed at 8:00. Since then I have been on the computer looking around, and now writing.

I am actually feeling sort of tired now. Like, maybe I should use the bathroom, take out my contacts and fill my water bottle for the night and go to bed early. Why not? Maybe Crouton will stop having the hiccups and settle down for a nap.

Sarah is having her baby today ... or had it ... or will have it soon. That's like just 38 weeks. I have to admit to being a teeny bit jealous. I just haven't met that many women in real life who were as overdue as I was with Morella. I just hope that Crouton decides to not be *that* late and doesn't need a police escort to show her the door...heck a few days before due date would be kind of fun. Anyway, I am thinking of Sarah and her family and hoping all is going well and looking forward to hearing all about the birth story.

Okay. Time to clean the clean laundry that didn't get put away, off the bed and get ready for some sleep. Tomorrow is Friday...hurray! I should do my belly shot then too since weekends are always so busy.

2009-06-17T17:37:00.001-05:00

Yikes! One of the Mom's in our playgroup sent a message today saying that her son "was diagnosed with a suspected case of H1N1 flu virus" and that "Our Dr. said the flu is pretty prevelant right now in the community and she's seen a lot of younger kids under 2 y.o. in with it recently". (We have the same pediatrician). The incubation period for this between 3-7 days. The last time I saw her son was last Thursday...BUT .... he hung out with a baby and Mom on Monday morning outside in a park, and later that afternoon that Mom and baby watched Morella while I went to an ultrasound appointment.

Gah!

I am thinking that we are in the clear as far as Noah (boy with hini virus) because in all contact cases we were outside, no sharing of sippy cups happened, and it was sunny and hot which would kill viruses faster. So it was from Noah then we would be clear tomorrow, but if she got it from Leo, the baby on Monday then we have to wait until Monday...but you know in any case you gotta wait it anyway. If there are cases of lots of 2 and unders, then germs could be incubating everywhere. I am going to try and not get too concerned about and just keep social activities outside where toys aren't shared.

Still, she and her son are now in a quarantine (at home) for seven days past the fever. Tim of course asked "Is her husband quarantined too?" meaning if Morella or I got it, would he have to skip work for a week? I wonder. He also wanted to know if they were sure going to send a culture for identification.

I thought summer was the safe season!

2009-06-17T11:12:00.001-05:00

Morella's first time wading on a beach. We were at High Cliff Park on the shore of Lake Winnebago.

2009-06-17T10:23:00.004-05:00

It was my Mom's birthday on Monday -- she is 60 years old. As what is commonly said, she said she doesn't really know what 60 feels like. Frank had made her a rainbow cake and as far as I know that was it. I still need to buy her a card and send her a present. She said that she wanted fairy stamps. Ugh. I hate contributing to her mighty collection of crap but if that is what she wants then I'll find it. But wow...60. I wonder what it will be like when I turn 60. I hope that it's a big deal for my family. Let's see, how old would Morella be then..she would be 28 and Crouton would be 26. Wow. I also sincerely hope that I still have friends at that age.

Since my Mom has so few friends I grew up thinking it was normal for an adult to not have any friends -- that is what you have family for right? But, I don't want that. I want friends, which is why I work hard at keeping up with people, even if I don't seem them all the time or hardly ever -- it's that once or twice a year effort that makes a difference (For out of towners). My Dad has friends -- thank goodness. They come and and check up on him, play a game of horseshoes etc. My Gaga had friends too, but clearly by the end of her life there were fewer and fewer... :(

I took a bath with Morella this morning. It wasn't my original intent really. I wanted to take a shower, but as soon as she saw me getting ready to do it she wanted to take a bath. I offered shower but she ran out of the bathroom buck naked and into the office where she slammed the door until I came to my senses. Hence, a bath. And it was cold! I like steamy hot showers or baths -- not this better than lukewarm business. Then again, should I be cold taking a bath in SUMMER!? No. Likely not. After the bath, she ran into her room, closed the door as much as she could and went into her crib. I got dressed and then went in there to put a diaper and some clothes on her. She threw the biggest fit all week about it!

She has been signing "more" for anything she wants to do. Tim thinks she is losing language... I think she is just getting lazy and we need to be consistent in showing her the signs for what she wants and sticking with them. Especially since she had learned "yes" the other week and now uses it in affirmation of things she wants when we ask her. She clearly understands what we are saying much better than before. I am looking forward to when she actually starts talking and verbally telling us what she wants. But despite all that incredible babble she puts out, she still has very few words. Maybe it will be like when she learned to walk. She didn't show any real interest in it until a week or two before she started walking and then one day...she started walking and was very, very good at it. Besides, the doctor did say they start doing more of that talking near the the two year mark. I still think of Morella as a one and halfer.

Anyway. So she threw this huge fit and I signed her sign for bed and put her in it, and said she was going to take a nap. It then the crying and whining turned into full on rage. I shut off the light, threw out the cats and closed the door. She howled for about two minutes and now she in there sort of laying around talking to herself. She has been spending a lot of time in her crib the past couple of days. It's nice that she can climb in there by herself, but I wish she could also climb out. You know? I do and I don't. I would have to really baby proof her room for her to be in there by herself unsupervised. Maybe that should make my list of goals I want to accomplish.

It's another rainy overcast day. Except, unlike yesterday where it was dry and sort of sunny in the morning, today it is not. Morella slept in until 8 and we made it to 7.15 before the cats started bothering us.

She is crying again. It is too early for her nap especially considering she slept so late....hm. I'll wait until she does it again.

Crouton is really moving up a storm right now. I had my final ultrasound for her on Monday afternoon. No cute pictures were given to me, and I didn't' even get to see her face. It was all business this time. Crouton is measuring right on target for 33 weeks and some change but it still took a long time to get the measurements because babies are big at this stage. My back seat ultrasound reading saved the day when I noticed that one of the measurements for the head was off putting Crouton at 26 weeks...instead of 33. I pointed it out the technician who took a few minutes to understand what i was saying before she corrected it. She thanked me twice afterward and said the doctor would have caught that and then we would have been there a lot longer. As it was it took an hour! Laying on my back for that long was difficult because it's so hard to breath then.

I rearranged the bedroom so that we can accommodate the cosleeper. I still need to work on fixing up the joint and making all magazine spread nice. I don't know if that will ever happen, but a girl can dream right? I have high hopes for the office too. And the kitchen. Oh speaking of which, the dishwasher is awesome! Not having dirty dishes around and the big drying rack for them really makes our counter space look down right generous. We have used it twice now and both times it has cleaned the dishes. Woo! Now I just need to make emptying it every morning part of the daily routine, sort of like making the bed. Now I always make the bed at least 1 hour after getting up, if not right away. It makes the room look so much more tidy when the bed is made.

Oh there is some more complaining from Morella's room. I better go.

2009-06-14T21:24:00.002-05:00

Oh no, not another outage blogger --- it seems like most of the time that happens something bad happens to my blog. :( *crosses fingers*

We are back from a hectic weekend that involved lots of driving and an unhappy, overtired toddler, an awkward graduation dinner at Perkins, my Dad recounting the day that his wife left him over and over, camping at High Cliff park, getting lost in the dark, visiting with friends and family over a roaring campfire, forgetting our toiletry bag, seeing Morella display separation anxiety for Tim and I (that is a little heartwrenching), etc. We survived and I was honestly a little sad that the weekend was over and that I really want more vacation. I need one more mini-vacation before Crouton gets here. One more. How can I fit that in?

I feel a little bit bad that Morella went to bed in her clothes, and all dirty. In our defense, she had a big weekend that involved lots of outside time and car traveling which she can't stand after 2 hours. I can understand that, really I can -- but dude baby -- sleep! Of course she didn't sleep. She went to bed one night at 11, another night at 8ish, her daytime naps were all screwed up and so when she finally feel asleep in the car 15 minutes before we got home and upon entering the house pointed to her bedroom and crib and gratefully placed her head upon her own bed, we just let her sleep. She hadn't stirred since. She did have a clean diaper change right after a McDonald's dinner of a cheeseburger and some fries and apple juice so she was set. And really, 6:15 isn't that much earlier than her regular bedtime of 7. I am going to have to change her sheets and give her a bath before the return of babybook time tomorrow morning.

Myself, upon returning, took a shower. I was shocked when I glanced into the mirror and saw how much the belly had grown. I think Crouton really popped this past weekend, it must be all the fresh air. Incidentally, it was the first time camping where I went to bed around 11:30PM both nights. In my defense, sitting in camping chairs for a long time looking at fire gets hard on the belly -- not to mention the constant hikes to the toilet pits. I was almost certain I was going to fill it myself!

Sigh. Back to the grind. :( I guess I wish Friday hadn't been full of 8 hours of driving and waiting and blah blah blah. Now I am back at the house that is forever in need of being tidied and "made nice", and cooking, and ....

There were two moments I do want to always remember. One was sitting with Tim and Morella on a park bench next to a cow field eating ice cream. Morella sat between us, happy as a clam and spooned whipped cream and sprinkles into her mouth while we all enjoyed the beautiful summery weather.

The other was lounging in our tent on the air mattress while Morella climbed on Tim's back repeatedly and fell over dramatically, often in giggles and smiles. It the sort of weekend where I could really tell that she liked hanging out with us and was having a blast with her parents.

Tomorrow is my Mom's birthday and my last ultrasound for Crouton. The reason for it is to get a few more measurements of her spine and to guestimate her weight. I think the latter one is more for the heck of it.

2009-06-10T12:13:00.003-05:00

32 1/2 Week OB Appointment

Today was the last of my monthly appointments and now they are every two weeks. I had a nightmare about this upcoming appointment the other day because I read in a Birth Club community that a woman's doctor had lectured the woman about gaining too much weight. She was up to 35 pounds I believe and at 28 weeks? I'm not sure. Anyway. I had a dream where the doctor said the same to thing to me and I was crushed and devastated and all that stupid crap.

Anyway. I mean the gestational diabetes test was a good thing for me in that I stopped eating so much sugar and going over board. Also in the last week, I have noticed that my appetite has started to decrease -- which is a good thing. I didn't initially find out how much I had gained after getting a few mild statements that I interpreted to be the third degree...I did end up looking and doing a little math.

First of all she said "I see it was a another gaining month."

"Yeah I guess," I replied "But my appetite had decreased should it should start leveling off."

"Well that would be in our favor," she answered.

Doh!

Okay. I have gained a total of .... 27 pounds so far, which I didn't gain until the last four months.
2/11 - 3/12 = 5lbs
3/12-4/13 = 11lbs
4/13-5.13 = 4lbs
5/13-6/10 = 9lbs

Total = 27

Okay and after MUCH digging around (I had to find my paper journal), I see that at my 32W1d appointment with Morella I was at a 25 pound weight gain. So the difference of two pounds -- doesn't strike me as that much different! And then looking ahead with Morella at 34 1/2 weeks I was up to 31 pounds.

One more thing, I do remember that being the pattern with Morella, a modest weight gain one month followed by a big jump the following much. After the 34 /12 week appointment I opted out of knowing and the doctors were kind enough to not say anything unless it was important. Which they didn't.

So. Yeah. Please tell me to stop worrying about this and ignore what the doctor says. :( I mean, I wasn't too overboard with Morella...and I lost it all within a year without trying so I should expect the same for Crouton right? Trust my own instincts...that sort of thing? Other than that, my blood pressure was awesome 104/60 and I am perfectly healthy.

I hate doctor appointments.