Paramed: A Paramedic's Plight

In General

2009-12-20T20:47:00.002-05:00

The semester is over, finals are being graded and a week of no sleep is in the books. I never thought I could study for a week straight and still maintain my sanity but somehow I did. Just a few semesters to go until I take the mcat and apply to medical school. The closer I get to my goals the more scary they become. Well, I guess the scary part is not succeeding. I'm putting my entire life on the line in order to put all of my damn eggs in one fucking basket.

Stupid, yes. Passionate, yes. Doable, you are damn right it's doable!

It's not as easy as I thought

2009-09-28T14:49:00.002-04:00

I've always been a good student as least I thought I was. I've jumped in a little over my head this semester though and it's been a struggle to get enough air to see where I need to go from here. I'm putting a shit load of pressure on myself and it's really making me very stressed. I've officially bombed a couple of huge test so far and I'm trying to think about this in terms of "leaving myself room to improve." Not only am I learning new material but I'm learning how to learn again and it's not as easy as I remember. I can't just look over a piece of information now and have it in my brain. I have to go over and over and over the material until I feel comfortable and then I doubt myself afterwords and jeopardize everything that I have learned. I'm going to move past the negative and ace the rest of this semester. It's an uphill battle with everything I have going on but I will make it happen I must. (there I go again putting too much pressure ton myself damn it)

And then

2009-09-24T22:26:00.002-04:00

The history of Christianity is very interesting. Whether or not someone believes in the divine idea of Christ they can't deny the amount of evidence that points to the existence of Jesus of Nazareth the person. The life of Jesus isn't mapped out as well as one would think. As important as Christianity has been to the shaping and developing of the western world it's interesting that very little is known prior to his public ministry or death. It certainly leaves a great deal to faith, or in the instance of the early church, it left a great deal to interpretation. Which is what they did. The important part about there interpretation is the fact that the ideas the early church devised about Christ became so influential that it nearly took over their world and in turn ours. Amazing.

Stress: Is it a reaction?

2009-09-23T14:08:00.002-04:00

I think so. Things are going along pretty fast for me right now. I've found that learning to learn again is a challenge to say the least. My priorities have changed drastically but I'm, for some reason, still holding on to some old habits that aren't helpful. I feel that the good should push out the bad; however, in practice that is certainly not the case. I just compound everything together and it feels like 1 + 1 = 4 at times. I try to tell myself that I can put one hundred percent into everything I do.. school, work, being a husband, exercise, healthy eating habits and the list goes on and on. In my mind this shouldn't be a problem but I feel that I'm shortchanging things that are important to me.

How do I do it? How can I focus nearly completely on school, which I must to keep up with the course load that I am taking, continue working so that my wife and I can pay bills, stay healthy by eating right and exercising and help out with the day to day chores that at one time I was able to do. Thank goodness my wife is understanding otherwise she would be really pissed at me at this point. The first thing I neglected was my chores at home. I'm not so sure I had to do this but I did. The second thing was work. I've had to call out the past two weekday shifts that I have because I couldn't find coverage for them. That's a strain because I don't want to jeopardize our income otherwise I will not be able to do any of the other very important things.

Over the past two or three weeks school has dominated my mind and my actions. I must find a happy balance so that I can continue to do all of these things well.

Where is the balance? First of all I do things that hinder my progress and drain my energy. These must go. Tobacco, alcohol, unhealthy eating and laziness must go now. I see that very clearly and my goal over the next three weeks is to get rid of these things so that good habits can take there place. I must exercise and plan my meals. That's not as easy as it sounds because I am somewhat of a compulsive eater. This affects me very negatively because when I eat unhealthy I feel drained and I don't want to exercise. Then my mind isn't sharp so I lose focus in my studying and find that I don't even care about work. It's a vicious cycle.

Just writing these aspects down helps me to categorize the things I must focus on and the things that must be let go. It's a constant struggle that leads me back to thinking about stress. Right now I feel like I am pushed to the absolute limit and of course this makes me very afraid of failure. I am sitting at the crux of my future with limitless possibilities. I've worked so hard to get to this point and now that I am here it seems that I may not be able to continue.

First of all, it's a good problem to have. I'm stressed yes, I react to this stress by feeling overwhelmed and out of control. I must regain control and mold my path toward things that will support my success not lead me to failure.

At least I have the ability to make these decisions even though they are difficult ones. I can do this no problem but my current path of actions will certainly make my life much harder than it should be.

My action steps:

1. Plan my food and stick to the plan.
2. Develop an exercise schedule with my wife and stick to it.
3. Set a date, now, and stop using tobacco and drinking alcohol. It's a no brainer I know
4. Set up specific times that I will study.
5. Make things right at work and maybe think about a part-time job during the week and continue weekends as I've been doing.
6. Don't react to stress, rationalize and find out where the stress is coming from and deal with it. Don't let it compound.

I hope to continue blogging about my problems and success on this crazy journey. I have a feeling this blog will morph into more of a-how I reached my goals- instead of -what's in my way right now. We shall see...

School and Whatever

2009-09-07T20:55:00.002-04:00

I'm finally working towards my ultimate goal, finally. Whether I land in medical school or a posh phd program where they pay me to learn I will be ecstatic about it!

Wait a minute, I forgot one small detail.. I still have to master all of my classes to reach my goal.

It's not near enough to make it to school now I must excel and that scares the hell out of me. I'm taking general chemistry one and two in one semester, one class!!

That's not all, I'm working 48 hours a week and taking 16 hours of class. I'm crazy I know but it's exciting not to mention challenging.

Here we go, I'm up to the challenge but a little scared. I gotta do great otherwise I am stuck on a fucking ambulance for ever....

Here I am

2009-09-01T09:28:00.002-04:00

At the last minute I finagled a way with the help of my schools financial aid department and my gracious father-in-law to attend my first choice college. Wow, so here I sit in the library blogging about what will be an exciting and adventurous two years or so. I plan on learning all I can and being as involved as I can be. I will continue to work full-time on the meat wagon for now but may reevaluate for the next semester.

It's exciting but I'm feeling a little out of place. Probably much like the rest or the new people here. I'm older and a transfer student which has some disadvantages unfortunately. I've felt left out of much of the welcome week activities which is a bummer. This is partly my own fault though, as I have not been on campus following the crowds around to each session. The college could have done a better job at arranging transfer/commuter student activities during the welcome week though. I've found nothing specific about this online or in the school.

Regardless, I am excited as hell to be here and I plan on making my mark and doing great things. Here's to a completely new phase of my life!!

2009-08-20T22:23:00.004-04:00

The Medic Has Returned

2009-08-13T20:27:00.002-04:00

After several several months off from blogging about the day to day silliness of pre-hospital care and my journey to apply to medical school I am ready to return. For some reason I feel the need to write about my journey as well as about the idiots I current encounter.

For starters I should update the 2 readers I still have. I've moved from the deep south to New England. That in itself is huge change and one of the reasons I decided to table the blog. I've been "up here" for about 8 months and have continued to work as a paramedic. I'm beginning my last stretch of undergrad classes in a month or so and plan to apply to medical school in a year or two or maybe three. However long it takes I still plan to do it.

That's where I am and where I plan to go. This blog on the other hand will probably be a bunch of bull shit as before but oh well, enjoy.

Where I've Been

2009-06-25T22:14:00.005-04:00

Hello, I've began blogging again and I would like everyone to join me at Going For health.

A little different format. I'm trying to be lose weight and live a healthy lifestyle after moving to New England.

Day -2

2009-05-01T10:35:00.001-04:00

Finally

2009-04-28T00:10:00.002-04:00

Hello,

I'm Daniel Turman and I have been searching for myself for as long as I can remember. Many of you who are reading this blog have searched just the same. I'm tired, fed-up, disgusted, overwhelmed and sick of being what I consider mediocre. I've battled addictions to nicotine and alcohol since I was a teenager. I have been broken down by the negative thoughts of self-pity that have controlled my life until now. Over the next 80 or so days I will record my eating habits, sleep schedule, photos, feelings and mental attitude so that I can show the world that I, Daniel Turman, can overcome obesity, self-loathing, sleep deprivation and most importantly mediocrity to the world. Welcome to my new blog, my new self and Parameddan as a winner and not just another Paramedic who thinks they can't go above the perception of those around them!

My Challenge

2009-04-27T22:29:00.000-04:00

Ok, I've made the move.

The Guy From Boston

2009-01-28T17:13:00.002-05:00

The truth about global warming. What a winner.

Where Have I Been?

2009-01-20T17:34:00.002-05:00

It's been quite a while since I have felt compelled to write anything related to this blog. The urge to blog seems to come and go for no obvious reason. Now that my wife and I have finally made our move from the Deep South to New England, of all places, I feel that I can write again. The last few months have been very difficult. Given the stress of moving, applying for a job, applying for school and trying to understand what everyone is saying here has been very stressful to say the least. I've gone to the edge of sanity and feel that I may never return to normal. I'm back in the field, urban EMS this time, and it's fun but busy as hell and the turd factor is through the roof. Anyway, I hope to share many stories from now on and maybe I can hold it together.

Peace.

Men's Health Belly Off Challenge!!!

2008-02-10T10:29:00.000-05:00

I have decided it's time to join the Men's Health Belly Off Challenge. Over the past few years I have gained way to much weight. Now it is time to do something about it. Tomorrow is my first day of workouts and I commit to doing the workouts and eating like I know I should. My current weight is 227 and my goal is to reach 185 by the end of the year. That's very ambitious but doable and flexible if I need more time. I am excited and willing to sacrifice the french fries for better health.

A Great Time To Remember

2007-09-15T18:47:00.001-04:00

It's cooler outside these days. I walked down the few concrete steps outside of my domicile this morning and was refreshed by a cool earthy fall breeze. It made my early morning journey much better even though I would have much rather been upstairs with my wife who was probably falling back to sleep with our two muts filling my absence with fur.

Each step I took I felt better about the days ahead but I couldn't help but think about days past. It's funny how the weather brings back memories. I reminisced about walking across a long field at daylight to sit in a tree stand and about stepping into a cold river at the beginning of a cathartic day of fishing. I do miss those days when the fall brought expectations of long evenings shooting the breeze with friends after being outside all day swinging a hammer and listening to country music. Not that I would trade them, I am happy now, but nostalgia overcomes me periodically especially this time of year. I've missed the crispness of the air and the crunch of fallen leaves.

It's so been so hot and stifling over the past couple of months I had almost forgotten that fall was around the corner. I've been caught up in the everyday business of living that I haven't taken the time to just stop and absorb what makes life so wonderful.

I finally arrived at my car and set down to start the engine. It whined a little and sputtered but, as it has for a while now, performed without fault as I drove from the parking lot. I rolled down the windows and let the wind fill the cab with yet another opportunity to remember the past.

It's Been A While

2007-09-14T00:42:00.001-04:00

My blogging has suffered over the past few weeks. My personal, off-line, journal and my workout running biking whatever journal has also been neglected. I have had some interesting experiences on the front lines of emergency medicine but I haven't been compelled to write about them. I feel as if I am in a slump of some sort. It seems to be like quicksand or a flushing toilet. The longer I remain in the slump the deeper and more consuming it becomes. I am sure every person experiences this from time to time.

I just watched President Bush give his speech on Iraq. It was actually a compelling speech and most of it was probably true. It is a shame we live in a world that settles conflict with guns and bombs. I wonder where this behavior originated. Do you think the Geico cavemen duked it out over who got the biggest bone?

They probably did.

My Experience

2007-08-26T21:28:00.001-04:00

I began volunteering at a local rescue squad at the ripe young age of 13 and became proficient in the art of ambulance washing very quickly. As I washed the one ambulance in our squad I listened to the over-inflated stories that became more gory and self gratifying the longer they were told. I was hooked, I wanted to start IV's and intubate and shock a dying heart. I couldn't wait to pull a person out of a burning car or hang from a cliff while dragging a bus load of bleeding hemophiliacs out of the grips of death.

I enrolled in the first EMT night class I could a few months after I turned sixteen. I excelled for two nights a week. My boring high school classes suffered dramatically but I really didn't care about the Cartesian Coordinates or literature.

I progressed through EMT intermediate and then paramedic shortly after graduating high school. High school came and went, much to fast, and I was out in the world. I worked in construction during the day and volunteered at the rescue squad at night. I even began telling some of my own war stories. Many of them growing from a small sprout of truth into a tree of exaggeration. I did learn from some of the best.

My love for pre-hospital care continued to grow and I was lucky enough to be hired by a large urban service in North Carolina. Prior to beginning there I had never met someone who went to school with the intent of becoming a paramedic and nothing more. I assumed everyone volunteered during their free time and was ecstatic to be paid for something they loved. I was wrong, actually I was extremely wrong. Many of the paramedics were unhappy with their job, their life and especially their role in the health care system. My enthusiasm dwindled quickly, sadly much like my naivety. I learned that the stories that were told, out of fun I thought, were really a way to vent frustration and prop up fragile egos. My hobby, my passion, had become a job and my job quickly began to frustrate me.

I quickly experienced burn out, my attitude turned nasty and I was rude to patient's more often than I would like to admit. I formed my own opinion of what an emergency was and unfortunately no one met my criteria.

Looking back at this time in my professional life I realize just how negative I was. It was so easy to feed of off everyone else and mimic their poor attitudes. At least I now have those experiences. The gift of hind sight is priceless.

My passion has returned and I enjoy the medical field once again, thankfully. So much so that I plan to return to school and learn those things that I neglected in high school so that I can progress into a leader in medicine. How knows, I may have the opportunity to improve pre-hospital care for the sick and injured and maybe even those who take care of them.

This post has completely veered away from what I originally intended. Oh well, better luck next time.

More Difficult Than I Thought

2007-08-22T21:43:00.001-04:00

I began a series of post a short time ago with the intent of having a completed work of.. uh.. art by now. I have came to realize that the more I research pre-hospital care the more fragmented and disappointing I have found it to be. More to come...

Paramedic Evaluation 2 - Bad

2007-08-12T09:58:00.001-04:00

My partners last evaluation.

Compensation

2007-08-12T09:16:00.001-04:00

As we all know, one of the most important aspects of any job or career is compensation. On average, in the US, a paramedic makes 36,970 $ Per year according to Salary.com. Some may say that is good money and others may look at it and laugh. More than likely you will begin laughing pretty soon.

The average paramedic also works 24 hour shifts every third day. That equals out to 10 shifts per month. Before you say, "you only work 10 days a month" here me out. It's not all roses, actually there are no roses involved at all. On average that is 52 hours per week. In actuality every third week will be a 48 hour week and the rest are 72. The bread and butter in this profession is overtime, as you can see. The first forty hours are compensated at a very dismal hourly rate that is as low as 9$ per hour and only after the second shift in a week does the pay increase by one half. This makes it imperative to work every shift because any vacation time that is received completely negates the necessary overtime pay and decreases take home pay dramatically. This can quickly lead to milk and bread shortages (and maybe even beer).

Of course they are other ways that paramedics are paid. One of my favorite is something I dub Chinese Overtime. This method is based on a salary type pay scale but has some really nasty consequences. The pay is set at a yearly amount with the thought that the paramedic will work every shift without time off. If there is unscheduled overtime the base rate is divided in half and the paramedic receives comp time. This is basically a nice way of screwing people while they are asleep and unsuspecting. Overall, the more hours that are worked the less the medic makes per hour until they are no longer increasing their take home pay. The other nasty part is the fact that the comp time that is received is compensated at the base rate so you lose the overtime and are basically working 72 hours a week at the dismal base rate mentioned above.

One more pay method and I will stop. This method is used more with firefighters luckily and not paramedics but it sucks nonetheless. In short, the 24 hour shift is broken into a 16 hour block and an 8 hour block. You are paid for the 16 hours of "Awake" time but are not compensated for the 8 hours of "Sleep" time after midnight. Basically, you are asked to sleep in a foreign bed and remain ready to run an emergency call at any time with the expectation that you will be awake and in the ambulance rolling out of the station within one minute WITHOUT being compensates. Ugly, I know.

So that is how and how much a paramedic is paid. Tune in next week to see what they are paid to do.

Wikipedia's definition of paramedic: a medical professional, usually a member of the emergency medical service, who responds to medical and trauma emergencies in the pre-hospital
environment, provides emergency treatment and, when appropriate,
transports a patient to definitive care, such as a hospital, for
further assessment or follow-up care.

What is a Paramedic?

2007-07-31T22:23:00.001-04:00

I have often been asked this question in so many words. Sometimes it's "what do you do?" or "What's the difference between an EMT and a Paramedic?" or "do you just drive fast?" I have even had the occasional "hey, are you an idiot" question threw at me especially after explaining the crazy schedule an average paramedic works.

I would wager that some of you reading this can't even explain the role of a paramedic in todays healthcare system.

Lucky for you. I have decided to begin a series of post on the true nature of a paramedic. This isn't going to be a rambling journey through war stories but a true attempt to explain the profession I am currently in and also some conjecture on where I would like to see this profession progress.

Not Worth a Title

2007-07-23T22:20:00.001-04:00

Sigh....

I find it very difficult, most if not all of the time, to control my cravings for food. I am not an obese person but I do eat things that I shouldn't. Not only is this bad for my body but it is bad for our bottom line too. It is nearly impossible to eat out for Supper, or even lunch for that matter, under ten dollars a person. This is a very bad thing when I kind of have the money but kind of don't and a craving for Mu-Shu-Vegetables or a fish sandwich take complete control over my brain. What am I supposed to do? I just can't control the urge.

I don't consider myself a weak person by no means but this is certainly my vice. I guess I will wonder through life forever afraid of my overwhelming cravings.

Just Fucking Stop

2007-07-19T23:39:00.001-04:00

Got your attention?

I do not understand what motivates someone to call 911 while driving down a residential street to explain that a person "seems to be having a heat stroke" but doesn't stop and speak to that person. Is it that hard to pull over and say "Hey, what's your problem?" Are you afraid that the person will ask for help or does the simple call to 911 make you feel like a good Samaritan. Because if it does you are badly mistaken! Badly. Mind your own business or actually help. Don't be a half-ass just to stroke your ego.

On another note. The past week or so has been stressful. I have changed partners, not by choice, and we get along well enough but there is still a learning curve. My previous partner and I worked together for a year. When we were taking care of patient's most of the time we didn't have to even speak. During emergencies it is important to bring order to chaos and it's much easier when you can predict the actions of the person that you are working with. I am having a hard time predicting this guy. I know the more we work together the better it will go but this week we have been thrown to the fire.

About an hour before shift change ( I was still asleep) the tones blared and we responded to a possible DOA. We arrived and soon found out that the patient had not died long ago and we made a futile attempt at resuscitation. Unfortunately, the area we working doesn't have very effective first responders especially in the mornings. Basically, we ended up working the entire code by ourselves.

Other than that I have been putting way to many hours in at my part-time job. I am probably averaging 80 hour work weeks. This alone can be very stressful. One year left.

One Year

2007-07-07T16:01:00.001-04:00

By the way. Happy one year anniversary to this blog.