Again you two just amaze me with your candor and w...

2008-03-30T07:53:00.000+01:00

Again you two just amaze me with your candor and willingness to share your personal world with us.

Thank You.

I have never been tested. I'm afraid they would just transfer me to some place that has locks on the doors.

But I have had a very hard time all my life with two things, English and math. This comes from a guy with two associate engineering degrees and up until 2 years ago, when the company he was working for felt they didn't need him, was making a high five figure income.

With math I don't care how much I studied or worked on problems..when I went to work with it on a test...what I studied or what was in my mind never came back out the same way it went in. Of course the more you get frustrated the harder it gets. It becomes a vicious circle. I used to just go numb. I don't know how many pencils I jammed through my notebooks. If only they had anger management back then.

With English, I never could get the right way to put it on paper. I spoke it very well, but that expressing it right on paper. The correct words in the correct order,comma's and paragraphs in the right place, syntax, prepositions, nouns, verbs used right and words spelled right. Oh spelling...I use Firefox and the 1st tab on my personal tool bar is Dictionary.com. I would have never made it through my college courses without my loving wifes help. When we were 1st married she tongue-in-cheek called me a functional illiterate.

One of the things I have noticed since I have started blogging is that what I am thinking and what I write is different. I leave words out and they are sometimes jumbled from what I'm thinking. When I go back and read what I have written there are words missing or it makes little sense in places. I know I thought all the wording in the correct order as I was writing my comment but they are not on the written page as I had thought of them. It is something I have just recently discovered and think it may have been happening as far back as my school years. To use a computer analogy..I don't think all the information packets get from my brain to my arm. It's one of the reasons it takes me a long time to compose a comment. I could never use the chat room function, I'm tooooo slow. I am thankful for my computers ability to prompt me about spelling and grammar. It's what lets me function in this environment.

I too had a parent that made me feel stupid. My father had a 10th grade education, yet learning came very easy to him. He worked for a major corporation where he held a managers job in his early 20's, a highly technical sales engineering job, and retired as a regional sales manager. When he got the engineering job he had to learn how to use a slide rule. On a Friday he went down and bought one from the office supply store and just using the pamphlet in the box was doing simple calculations by Sunday night. I had a hard time doing them with a calculator in school. When I would have a hard time with math in school and he would try and help. He could never understand my struggle. I can still hear him...goddamn it...it's right there in front of you... how much clearer do you need it..2+2=4..and I would be..yea but...I was made to feel stupid most of my school years. I finally gave up in high school. I just didn't care. They said I had to go but they couldn't make me learn. I had to go to summer school every year in high school to get to the next grade, even to graduate.

It was funny or sad depending how you look at it. But when I was in high school I went to the counselors office regularly and one of the things he told me is that on the tests that they gave everyone back then, I scored in the top 25% of the country. Not the school, city, state, the country. He wanted to know how come I was failing in school and I kept thinking, I thought that's what you are suppose to enlighten me about. If I knew I wouldn't be here with you for an hour every frickin Friday.

It took me until I was 40 that I started to over come the "stupid" and "defeated feelings" in my life and came to embrace a Positive Mental Attitude or the Choice Life as I call it. It was.. no.. it is a struggle to over come all that negative input at a early age. I equate it to a drug addiction..your never over it. I still get depressed and feel inadequate on occasion but it doesn't last and its nowhere near where I was before.

So while I don't know what you went through Rich. I admire your tenacity and determination and feel I have a small kinship in your struggle.

Sorry this is a long comment but had to have a couple of beers and dredge up some memories.

D.L. Wood

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Again you two just amaze me with your candor and w...