linda may

Sunday Scribblings "Indulgence"

2009-07-12T19:45:00.002+10:00

G'Day,
I just got back from a weekend away in Sydney, indulging in the markets and big city offerings. Food, shopping, people watching etc. Then there is the money, you pay for absolutely everything in Sydney, everything. Especially everything to do with transport, from parking to using your own car and using public transport, is a bit of a shocker down there.
The Sunday Scribblings prompt for this week is "Indulgence".
Oh how we all indulge ourselves, don't we? I know I do, a dozen or more little ways each and every day. I choose to indulge others around me too.
No I am not going to talk about chocolate... He he.
My biggest and best loved indulgence is water. I love it, I love being in it, watching it, consuming it. And... all this on the driest continent on earth. I know you are thinking, oh no...here we go on another soap box lecture on water, saving and conservation....again, right?.
No , really, I am very naughty when it comes to water. I do lots of the wrong things and I know I should not be so extravagant and indulgent with water, but I am. I take longer showers than I should. I stand or sometimes even sit under the warm flowing water, wasting it just because I am so indulgent , long after I need to be there because it gives me such sensual pleasure. Water satisfies all my senses. Albeit somewhat guiltily.
I do consider myself a bit of a greenie when it comes to the environment and water is such a big important factor in that, especially in our country. But water.... my weakness and I can't get past that indulgence.
There are however things I do that are protective of our scant water source. I use less and less chemicals in my home to help protect our water from being so polluted. I try not to use so much water around the yard, which actually helps the plants that are there to toughen up, and if they don't, well they were probably not meant to be in that environment anyway and something else would have served their purpose better. When I was living in Junee I was very good at water harvesting for reuse in my yard. I even had a fish pond that operated within it's own little balanced ecosystem. Fishies, plants, bugs and all. I never needed to feed the fish in there because they didn't need it and they were healthy and doing well. I just had to change the water a couple of times a year. I had two 5000 gallon water tanks that I filled with water that was coming off my roof area and so I saved that from flowing down the drain for use in my garden. I also had collection containers in other places around the yard. One of the containers was a big plastic garbage bin that had manure in it, filled by drips off the roof of the chook yard when it rained, so I had my own ready made organic fertilizer.
I have recently bought myself an enviro ball. It is supposed to last for 3 years and you put it in your washing machine instead of using detergents that go into our waste water. I don't really know how it works but it has something to do with ionizing the water which makes the dirt come out. I have been using it for a month or so now and my clothes are coming out fine. Since it is supposed to last for 3 years I guess the initial cost will be well and truly offset by my not purchasing detergents.
Water though.
Can you imagine me, indulgently laying back in a warm bubble filled bathtub with perfumed candles burning, my little fan heater keeping me warm, a cup of tea and a good book or magazine in front of me. I do that. Oh yes.... beautiful.
Or sitting beside my dear old Murrumbidgee river, with all my senses tuned into the environment, collecting myself.
Or driving alongside a beautiful watercourse or the lakes on a winding mountain road, up in the snowys, (snowy mountains).
Or by the sea where I can keep one eye on the road and the other on the beautiful sights, sounds, colours and smells of the ocean.
Water my indulgence, Scorpio my star sign and a water sign.
BTW, on the weekend I went into the Sydney aquarium, another watery place. I totally encourage anyone who goes to Sydney to spend some of their money on an entry ticket and go in there and have a look. It is far and away the best aquarium I have ever seen. No I didn't have my camera. I had always wanted to have a look in there but never did before as the entry price made it too expensive to take the whole family to on our income when the kids were smaller. But it is really great. I could have spent much more time there enjoying the underwater tunnels with fish and sharks swimming all around me. Mesmerizing. The fish of all sorts, tropical coloured ones, sharks, rays, there were even two Dugongs in one of the displays, you could never see them up so close any other way than in one of those tunnels with them swimming over and around you. Beautiful transparent and translucent jelly fish and cuttlefish, moray eels, snakes, penguins, sea horses, rays, an octopus, even a few crocodiles, who were definitely outdone by the beauty of the other underwater inhabitants. I love the way they fly gracefully through the water like the underwater world's answer to birds, while we silly inadequate humans can only survive on the land.
Excellent.
We also had a ride on the big ferris wheel in Darling harbour at night, went to Bondi beach, ate out all meals, stayed in a motel. Saw a trannie in Oxford street, dressed in a pink leotard, high heels with a pink feather head dress. Oxford street is famous and a great place to people watch, he he. And I was reminded why it can be so bloody annoying trying to please all of my family at once and keep them happy, but that is another story. It was all good though.
Anyway... back to my indulgence.
Water.
The human body is made up mostly of water.
Life on earth could not survive without water.
A very tiny proportion of the earth's surface water is potable.
A tiny number of what lives beneath earth's waters is cataloged compared to what lives above the water.
You never miss what you have until it is gone.

Goodnight, I hope you all had a pleasant weekend.
Love Linda.

2009-07-05T08:59:00.003+10:00

G'Day,
Sunday Scribblings time again. I love it. Look forwards to it each weekend.
Anyhow...the prompt for this week is "Human". I thought about it over night and decided to try doing this.

Humans

Abiding
Admonishing

Balanced
Baleful
Calm
Chaotic
Delighting
Disappointing
Eloquent
Elusive
Faithful
Fake
Gregarious
Grey
Harmonious
Horrific
Interested
Indolent
Just
Jumped- up
Karmic
Kaput
Lithe
Lumpy
Merciful
Merciless
Natural
Narcissist
Open
Occluded
Pardoning
Punishing
Quiet
Querulous
Righteous
Ruthless
Sacrosanct
Sadistic
Terrific
Terrifying
Unconcerned
Uncompromising
Vigilant
Vacuous
Warm
Wanting
X nah!
Xenophobic
Yummy
Yucky

Zippy
Zilch
Za end ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Well, that wasn't easy. I reckon some of the words could be used in either a positive or negative connotation, depending on personal belief and cultural upbringing. I couldn't think of one for the positive X. I did look in the thesaurus I have here but tried not to cheat too much. Any suggestions for the X?

**************************************

This weekend I am laying low. I have been trying to not spend any money because we are all going on a trip to Sydney next weekend and visiting Paddy's markets. It is something I promised to do with my daughter for the last 2 school holidays. This will be the first time the whole family, Dad, Mum and all the kids have gone anywhere together for quite a long time, so it should be good. Albeit expensive with accommodation, food, transport and shopping in the centre of the city. The kids all have their own income now, not big, but an income just the same so that should ease it a bit.
But...I might just go over to the Kingston bus depot markets this afternoon and get some of the delicious crusty wood fired Italian bread, it is so delicious. Then I might drop into the fresh food markets at Fyshwick later in the afternoon and try to get there when they drop the prices at the fish market, because they don't open again until Thursday each week. Last time I managed to get 5 beautiful blue swimmer crabs at 1/2 price. That place and the Kingston markets are foodie heaven. Especially the Kingston markets because you get to taste everything before you buy it.
:) :) :) :) :0 :) :) :) :) :0 :) .....yeah...you guessed it...too much time on my hands. :) :) :) :)
Staying home by myself sucks! (Pete's working)

Bye
Love Linda.

P.S. Why is that bit showing up in big text when it isn't on here. Too bad, not bothering to fix it, even if I understood how.

2009-07-03T21:32:00.003+10:00

G'day,
Just thought I would come in here and tell about something that is bothering me at the moment. Last Wednesday night I was harassed by a couple of teenagers at one of the schools where I clean. I was cleaning the loos at the back of one of the schools and I heard someone yelling out and when I turned around 2 boys probably about 14 years old, I couldn't see real well as it was getting dark, were hiding behind a wall and jumping out yelling out things to me. I tried to ignore them but when I turned around to look again they were mooning me and saying foul things. I finished what I was doing and thought I should go inside the building and lock the other door as they might be trying to create a diversion for someone else who was up to no good. When I went inside one of them ran up to the back door and threw a cracker inside the door. It filled the room up with smoke and burned a mark into the new vinyl floor that had just been laid and burned the carpet. Then I got mad. I went over, wrung out the mop I had been using and chased them with it, yelling out at them etc and told them if they came back I would call the police. I was so angry and lost it a bit. Then I wrote a report in the communication book and went to the next job where I reported it to the school principle. My son, Michael, who I work with, was in a different part of the school and didn't know anything had been going on. They also removed all the grills from the drains around the school, hoping people could fall down them in the dark I guess.
Anyway, last night I was harassed again at the other school, which is part of the same campus just a few blocks away. This time it was by a couple of boys in a white Ute who were yelling things at me and drove past three times yelling out. I couldn't really hear what they were saying, just the tone was nasty. I thought oh well, bloody idiots and went inside. When I was finished they were parked out the front of the school and when they saw me they started to get out of the car but my son came into view and they jumped back in the car and drove away. I was a bit spooked and told the deputy principle when I saw him today about it. He said he was going to the police station on his way home to tell them about it.
He told me that the school had had a break in last Sunday night but one of the teachers was on site and caught 2 boys in the act.They had got in through the roof into the canteen and were back outside the building when Ben (the teacher) saw them and questioned them. They said they were ex students.
It got me thinking that the two incidents were related and probably done by the same group of kids who were sharing info and telling each other about the silly old duck that they thought was working as a cleaner by herself at night, and that it was fun to tease her. Maybe the next step would be a bashing. I am not normally a chicken and not scared to work at night at my job but now I am thinking.....hmmm. Do I look like a victim for idiots like that and an easy target for some little crim in training's warped sense of humor. The town is just over the border in N.S.W and is known for being a bit rough, or more correctly as having some rough people living there.
I don't want to be looking over my shoulder all the time and listening to every noise while doing my work at night and becoming paranoid about it.

Sunday Scribblings "Toys"

2009-06-27T20:12:00.002+10:00

G'Day,
Let me introduce myself. My name is Jackie. I belong with Linda. I live where ever she lives and have been with her since she was just nine years old. I was made by her grandmother. Well, not really her grandmother by blood, more her grandmother by marriage to her maternal grandfather Joe Trennery, my maker's name was Gran though. She made my brothers and sisters too. One for each of Joe's grand children that year for Christmas. I don't know if any of my brothers and sisters are left. But, I am still here. My original clothes are long gone. I wore a pair of red velvet trousers and a pink paisley shirt when I was new. My buttons have all gone and been replaced with odd ones. That red velvet one you can see on my hat is one from Linda's old red dressing gown, well.....it almost matches.. My pink nose used to be red velvet too, long ago.
Linda used to love to cook with Gran when she was a little girl and Gran taught her how to make those little cakes with the bright pink icing that Gran used to make for the grandchildren. Linda still uses Gran's date cake recipe.
Linda gave me a new dress, even though it was second hand and is quite old now too. You see it belonged to her daughter Anne-Marie, she is 20 years old now. So it has special sentimental value for both of us. Linda's eldest sister, Thelma, bought it for her and Annie wore it home from the hospital when she was born. It has matching pink pants, but you can't see those. I am a lady you know! But.... I do need a safety pin to hold them up nowdays. He he.
I have been with Linda for 40 years now. I reckon not many clowns would have had that privileged to brag about. I sit above her bed and watch over her at night. Well sometimes I slump down a bit, but you know....I am getting old. There was a time though that I was left in the dark box in the corner of the bedroom for years. I might not have survived this long otherwise I suspect. I have a few stitches here and there to prove it, but I am a survivor. Yes I am! When all the other toys were broken or stolen or lost or passed on, I survived. I am back in my rightful place of privilege above where my Lindy sleeps. There were even times when I soaked up her tears and held her. Such a privilege for a long term friend. I cuddled her cat. I was dragged around by her babies and used as a pillow. I moved house with her.
Yes definitely a privileged life I have led. Yes.

*********************************

That is my story for the Toy prompt this week for Sunday Scribblings.
I wonder if any of Jackie's brothers and sisters did survive as long as she has.
I have boxes of my children's toys in the garage that I can not bear to dispose of. Even though they have no interest in them now ......maybe one day?
This morning I was pampered. And it was bloody lovely. My son got me a gift voucher at a day spa in the city for Mother's day. I was a bit slow to act on it but this morning I did.
So at 10.00 I rocked up there and got exfoliated, massaged and had a beautiful spa. The massage and spa were just heaven. Well... the whole thing was. I lay back and loved it. The spa was filled with milky bath stuff and essential oils, surrounded by rose petals and I lay back and enjoyed a pot of Japanese tea and chocolate hearts while I bubbled and soaked. The noise of the bubbles drowned out the relaxing music and I didn't get to listen to that until the spa stopped so I lay there a little bit longer just to enjoy that. Beautiful, just beautiful. I have not had the pleasure of doing anything like that before, but I can heartily recommend it. So lovely and girlie.
Thank You Michael! My Mickle pickle.

2009-06-21T20:27:00.002+10:00

G'Day,
Today my oven decided to work again. There must be a short in there some where.
This is what results from the family chocolate cake recipe I had in my post yesterday.
looks alright doesn't it.
Love Linda.

Sunday Scribblings "Visions"

2009-06-20T19:47:00.004+10:00

G'Day,
The Sunday Scribblings prompt for this week is "Visions".
I thought a bit about that word and couldn't get my thoughts together.
Then I thought what was my last vision.
Well today I had a vision of a yummy chocolate cake, ( or was that a craving?). I went to the shop and got some groceries with just that in mind. I wanted a moist soft chocolate cake to split down the middle and fill with freshly whipped cream then top with chocolate icing and fresh strawberries. Mmmmm.
Well I came home and started to go through my old hand written collection of recipes for my favourite chocky cake ones.
Here they are;
The first one came from the side of the cocoa packet, I have made it many times over many years. It works well.
Dark Secret Cake
125 gram margarine.
1 & 1/4 cups caster sugar.
1/4 cup cocoa.
2 cups self raising flour.
1 teaspoon bicarb soda.
2 eggs.
1 cup boiling water.
1 teaspoon vanilla essence.

Preheat oven to 180 degrees Celsius.
Grease & flour 2x 20cm cake pans.
Cream butter and sugar, add eggs, beat .
Sift together cocoa, flour,& bicarb.
Add to mixture, add rest of ingredients and mix well.
Pour evenly into tins & cook for 25 minutes or until cooked.
Cool for 10 minutes in tins before turning out.
Sandwich together with whipped cream and ice with chocolate icing.
You can also cook this in one larger tin then split it and fill.

The next chocolate cake recipe that I use and recommend is one I have had for years that I found in some magazine long ago. It is a large cake and keeps well.
Family Chocolate cake.
185g butter or margarine.
1/2 cup cocoa.
1/2 cup water.
1 cup milk.
3 eggs lightly beaten.
1& 1/2 cups caster sugar.
3 cups self raising flour, sifted.
1 teaspoon vanilla.

Grease a 32x22cm baking dish or a large cake tin and line with paper.Set oven temperature at 180 Celsius.
Place butter, water and cocoa in heavy based saucepan and cook over low heat until melted and blended together. Remove from pan and cool.Pour into mixing bowl. add milk, eggs, & sugar and beat until well combined. Stir in flour and vanilla then beat 1 minute until smooth and combined. Pour into prepared tin, smooth the top with a spatula. Bake in preheated oven for 50 minutes or until skewer inserted into centre of cake comes out clean. Cool in tin. When cold split, fill with whipped cream and top with chocolate icing or dust with icing sugar.

There is another chocolate cake recipe that my daughter likes to make. It is from the Lady Flo Bjelke Peterson book that I love. Her recipes always seem to work out good and I use quite a few different ones from that book.
Easy Chocolate cake
1 cup self raising flour.
1 cup caster sugar.
1 teaspoon vanilla.
3 tablespoons butter.
3 tablespoons cocoa.
2 eggs.

Mix all ingredients in bowl for 4 minutes.
Pour mixture into greased lined 20cm tin. Bake in moderate oven (180-200 degrees C) for 40-45 minutes.

But....I found this one in my book toooooo, cut out of the newspaper. I am going to try this one out, next time.
Mud Cake
250g butter.
150g dark chocolate, chopped.
1 cup hot water.
1/3rd cup whiskey.
1 tablespoon coffee powder.
2 cups caster sugar.
1 & 1/2 cups plain flour.
1/4 cup self raising flour.
1/4 cup cocoa.
2 eggs, beaten.

Preheat oven to 150 degrees Celsius.
Grease and line 23cm tin.
Mix butter, chocolate, water, coffee powder, whiskey and sugar in a heat proof bowl. Stir over boiling water until melted together and smooth.
Sift flours and cocoa together.
Stir into melted mixture with eggs. Mix well.
Pour into prepared tin and cook for 75 to 80 minutes, test.
Cool then ice with this mixture.
Melt 200g chocolate with 1/4 cup cream over boiling water until smooth. Cool until it thickens a bit, then spread over cooled cake.
Ohh yum!. Definitely gotta try that one! I haven't got any whiskey but I thought I would just use Tia Maria instead.
So I went to start getting the ingredients together and measure them all out.

On Friday morning the electricity company was doing some work in the park outside our house. The power was off for about 4 hours.
My oven didn't like that, obviously.
Today when I switched it on to preheat to do my cake it was not working.
But... I had a vision of this yummy chocolate cake, split down the middle and filled with cream and topped with that icing, maybe some of those strawberries I got the other day....
I could almost taste it!
I have lost some weight, probably 12 to 15 kilos over the last 3 or 4 months. I am quite proud of that. I have dropped 2 clothing sizes and have been having fun buying new clothes. I haven't fitted into this size for a long long time.
Someone must be looking after me... because my oven won't work! He he! Thank you God.

Bye.
Love L
i
n
d
a.

2009-06-18T22:00:00.006+10:00

G'Day,
Here are a few pictures to share, just because.
The chooky thing is the finished result of what I made several months ago. She is guarding my front door. Not a very good picture. It is in the same glaze that the mugs are glazed in, an iron red. Some of my blog friends asked to see something I had made. So... here tis'.
Next picture the mugs. Iron red stone ware glaze. They turned out o.k. I had to fiddle with them quite a bit because the glaze had too much water in it and as it belonged to the potter's society I wasn't game to try to fix it up by taking some of the water out, so I left it and had to keep dipping and drying the mugs out as I went. If the clay absorbs too much water while you are glazing it, the glaze goes on too thinly and starts running off again before it dries and gives a poor coating. So that is what was happening with these. Interesting though, one of the mugs went into a different firing to these and must have gone a few degrees higher and came out absolutely beautiful. Darker, glossier and with an almost oil spot effect to it. I had 6 of these, they all were o.k. i am using them at home now.
Scribbling, by me.
Scribblings again.
The next picture is inside the war memorial at Goulburn. (See my post a few stories back.) I was puffing by the time I got to the top of the stairs but the view up there was pretty good. I probably used up a few extra calories getting there and it is supposed to be good for you to put your heart rate up. :> It was cold too, doesn't your body use up extra calories to stay warm, and less to stay cool. Ah what a nice idea, there has to be some sort of bonus to having cold weather. Last week here in Canberra we had a cold snap. One of those days it was just 3 degrees at 2.00 in the afternoon when I went to work. I wore about 4 layers of clothes and didn't take my big jacket off all day. Brrrrrrr. That night it got down to minus 6 degrees.
The war memorial again.
This is a wonky pot. I don't really like it and should have trashed it and not bothered to fire it. The glaze on glaze decoration on it looks OK. though. Them's my finger prints. I like putting those little turned lines on the bottom of all my thrown pots. They have become my own little signature.
Today I went to the Thursday drop in morning again at the potter's society. I turned 2 serving bowls that I made there last week. turning is cutting the excess clay of the half dry pot ( known as leather hard), a bit like wood turning except with clay. I also put 2 bags of clay through the pug mill. One was too hard the other too soft. What a great toy the pug mill is. It remixes, blends and De-airs the clay so I don't have to spend hours upon hours recycling it and doing it all by hand. I didn't get to use one of them before I came to Canberra, a friend in Wagga used to have one and she said I could use hers but I never did. I used to do all my recycling by hand. Silly me!

Sunday Scribblings "Absurd"

2009-06-14T20:33:00.003+10:00

G'Day,
Sunday Scribblings prompt this week is the word "Absurd". Yes I can do that.
What is Absurd.
Mad, crazy, silly, ridiculous, stupid, nuts, idiocy
The whole bloody world is
That is everyone,
Except for me.
I learned that you are not crazy if you think you are
and that you are if you think you are normal, and not crazy.
So what am I?
He he.

Absurd is the ridiculous comedy inside us all,
in our society
in our culture or someone else's around the world.
Our views on another religion that we don't understand.

Absurd is that stupid idiot box in the lounge room
and watching what goes on in it
for the sake of its lame entertainment.
Then telling the other people in the room with you to shut up while you watch
so you can hear it as well.

Maybe absurd is sitting here in front of a puter screen
while your beloved sits by themselves in another room.

Absurd is putting too much of your self into your job,
to the detriment of you family life.
Just to get the praise you need from your colleagues
and treating that job as your life instead of
the means to an end that it ought to be.
As a female I never could understand this,
I know males think differently.

Absurd is making money to the detriment of the environment
and fighting to keep doing it just for the sake of money.

Absurd is....political correctness gone overboard.

Absurd is reading silly joke books that have things in them like this;

An elderly couple was enjoying an anniversary dinner at a small hotel, lounge.The husband leans over and asks the wife , "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over 50 years ago?" we went behind this hotel where you leaned against the fence and I made love to you".
"Oh yes, she said, I remember it well".
"O.K." He says "How about taking a stroll around there and we can do it again for old times sake?"
"Ohhh Henry, she says, you old devil, that sounds like a great idea!".
The local policeman is sitting nearby listening to all this, having a chuckle to himself and thinks.
"I've got to see this, I had better keep an eye on them to see that there is no trouble."
He follows them around the back. They walk haltingly along, leaning on each other for support and aided by their walking sticks. Finally they get to the back of the hotel and make their way to the fence. They start going at it. She turns around and as she takes hold of the fence the old man moves in. Suddenly they erupt into the, most furious sex the policeman has ever seen. Just like a couple of 18 year olds.
This goes on for about 40 minutes, She is yelling " Ohhh God!" and he is hanging on for dear life.
Finally they both collapse onto the ground where they stay recovering for half an hour. The policeman still watching thinks, I've got to ask them what their secret is, that was amazing!
As the couple passes by he says to them, "That was something else! You must have been having sex for 40 minutes. How do you manage it? You must have had a fantastic life together. Is there some sort of secret?.
The old man says "50 years ago that wasn't an electric fence."

Yes I do have a few of these books.
Absurd?
Funny?
Or just plain naughty?
Australian!
He he.

Sunday Scribblings, Soul Mates.

2009-06-08T11:02:00.004+10:00

G'Day,
The Sunday Scribblings prompt for this week is "Soul Mates".
I had a read through what everyone else has said so far. I don't like the term Soul mates. It seems to me an excuse to try to romantically hook up with someone and then when you lose them be able to say well they weren't my soul mate after all.
But... If there is such a thing is a soul mate?
That certain someone you feel a special link with and feel that you knew from a different life on earth. Someone who share the same likes, dislikes, dreams with? I have met this person several times, a different one each time, of either gender. Meshed with them on different levels, socially, mentally, emotionally or sexually.
Someone you met and might never mesh with this time around, or an attraction, right or wrong, that may or may not come to fruition. Or maybe someone you shared a bed with for a little while.
I can not remember the term used when I was young, it is a newer term.
In my life over the last 3 months or so, I have had experience in having my ideals and beliefs turned upside down and had the shit shaken out of them. It has zapped my confidence in my partner and my self and what we had for the last 32 years together. Just when I think I am on top of it all, some idea comes into my head to remind me where I am, and question myself and my partner whom I still am in love with, but don't know the truth of at times. I have learnt that what I thought I had, might not be what I thought I had, but both of us are trying to fix it and move on to another level of our relationship. It is working, slowly, but what happened will always be there.... in my mind anyway. When we are together we are great but when he is away from me I doubt and question. Soul mates? Nah!
I prefer the term life partner.

***************************

During the week I worked, of course, to get my pocket money.
Monday, today is a public holiday and therefore provided a nice long weekend in which my hubby Pete, was able to participate because his work roster was friendly to it for a change.
On Saturday we did our homework, as requested by the counselor we saw together. Our home work requires us to go on a date together, as if we were still dating and find something alternate weeks that we think the other might enjoy to do. We look in the "What's on " section of the local paper to find something. This week was Pete's turn to take me somewhere and there was an exhibition I liked the sound of at the Bungendore wood gallery. It was called Mingei. It is a Japanese term that means the arts of the people. The idea being (From the brochure) "a common beauty and function in everyday utilitarian objects whose forms were arrived at intuitively, over time, not pre- contrived, but bound in them the makers' mastery of technique through repetition." Three artists exhibited together. There was a japanese man, Masayuki Ogura who exhibited his beautiful use of wood in Japanese lacquer ware. He is from a family of 5 generations of practicing artisans. Oh wow. His work was.... just so!
There was also a lady who was doing Japanese traditional indigo dyeing, her work was beautiful too but not that appealing to me.
Then...the reason I wanted to see the exhibition... Peter Rushforth. I actually had intention of buying one of his pots just because he is so special in the pottery world, but they were way, way beyond my price range. Real collectors items. The smallest one I saw there was a bowl about 6 inches across and it had a price tag of $460, but most of the work was already sold anyway.
Peter is touted to be the father of Australian pottery. He is 90 years old this year and is still working in his chosen craft. He is a wood firer in the Japanese tradition, a great great man. His pots are just Mmm.....Mmm. He uses Jun, Ash, Tenmoku and Limestone glazes. Like I said Mmmm.... Mmmm. He lives in the blue mountains west of Sydney and in the bush, lucky bugger. I met him once at Gulgong when I went there years ago. He is such a gentle, humble, gracious, man. Gulgong is a pottery happening where potters invade a small town and spend a week doing lectures, lessons, exhibitions, happenings etc, held every 4 years. Years ago there was a movement trying to get Peter Rushforth declared "An Australian National Treasure". I was talking to a lady on Saturday that said they are still working on it and it may soon come together. He deserves it. Now just let me stop sprouting on about him and get on with it. He he.
We also went for a drive across to Goulburn, not far from Canberra. My hubby was born there and we had a look around and a trip up to the war memorial on the hill over looking the town. I do have pics but as things have changed on the puter lately I don't know how to do stuff anymore so...later. We have a separate thingy for storing my pictures on and a new printer/fax/scanner that I can't work. He he. Yeah later. When my grumpy son will permit me some of his scant time to help.

That is all, bye for now.
Love Linda.

Wotcha Doin'? Joe and Janis.

2009-06-02T09:49:00.004+10:00

G'Day,
Good morning all. It is Tuesday morning and I just had a slice of yummy brioche toasted with honey on it for my breakfast and am not half way through my first cup of tea for the day.
Blogging gets you in doesn't it? This post is a sort of dear diary.
On Sunday night Pete and I went to the pictures to see the Woodstock movie. It is the 30th anniversary of the event, and I had heard on the radio that there was a screening in the city. It was more documentary style than movie but we enjoyed the music anyway.
"Oh Janis! Didn't the world lose something special when it lost you."
I always loved her voice. In the movie she sang 2 songs and she felt each and every note that she sang, or screamed, as would be some peoples interpretation of her. When I was in my early teens I listened to her records over and over again, tried to sing along, poorly, but I loved them. If my elder sister was out somewhere I would sneak into her room and play her records. She knew, I don't remember her minding about it, as long as I didn't scratch them. They were treated with reverence, which is more than how she treated her things.
Also in the movie was a very young Joe Cocker, I never remembered him looking like that. He still had all the same funny body movements that he has now, probably a bit more pronounced then than now. I love gravelly voices. Last week I bought a" best of" DVD of his to watch when there was rubbish on T.V. I intend to get a collection together, so far I have just 2 music DVDs in the collection. I can draw parallels between he and Janis's style and life, but Janis did not survive her rock and roll life style. Joe barely did, with scars. I wonder where Jimmy and Janis would be now if they were still here and what they would be doing. Still singing and making music for us oldies who remember when we were young. I wonder?
I got a phone call this morning from a lady whose house I am going to clean. I thought that she must have forgotten about it because I has been a few weeks since I first spoke to her. Anyway I start tomorrow morning. Her home is really nice, I will be scared of breaking one of her treasures, so I will have to be careful and not clumsy. When I went there I couldn't see that she was the type of person that would ever be untidy or get dirty, so it should be good in that dept.
Last Thursday I went over to Watson to the potter's society and took my few pots I had made to be fired. Thursday is one of the drop in mornings they have during the week and I will be able to fit that into my work schedule so I am going back this week to join in. Three of the ladies I met before at the course I did were there, so I do know someone who is going, sort of. Bonus. The lack of participation in my craft will, or has, already led me to a loss of skills and memory of its processes and I have been potting too long to want to lose them. So I have to step up to the plate and do something about it. I have to get over not having my own kilns and studio/ shed, and learn to adjust my potting to what I have now. It will also be good for social and mental reasons.
Coming up also...maybe... is the new jail's pottery lessons. I don't know when it will come up but I may have a foot in the door as a teacher. I am a bit nervous about it because I don't know how I will handle those sort of people...but... I sure want to try if I get the chance. I have done some pottery teaching in the past and know I do alright at that but.... I am also nervous about burning my bridges with the job I am doing now if the jail one might not work out. I don't want to finish up because I quite like it most of the time and our boss is nice and treats us well.
Hey! something else that happened on Sunday that was pretty funny was...My son David came for a visit on the weekend and bought his dog Ruby with him. Ruby is a young staffordshire terrier and very strong. I took her for a walk around Fadden Pines on Sunday morning and she wasn't too badly behaved apart from trying to pull my arm out of the socket which I reckon she would be quite capable of doing. She came back when she was called and I had let her go for a run etc. Well, she wasn't too badly behaved until she saw another dog. I got her back on the lead before she saw it. When we got level on the pathway with the other dog she became more and more excited and mananged to ankle tap me in her efforts and tripped me over. I fell, flat on my face, at the feet of the other dogs owner and she pulled me along the ground towards it for about a foot and a half. Bloody hell, I am no light weight and she dragged me along. I am pleased to say that she did not get the other dog or the situation might not have been so funny. I had her lead wound firmly around my wrist, thank goodness. I reckon it would have got an award on funniest home video though. I wonder what the man with the other dog thought when I fell splayed at his feet. He apologised about his dog being so naughty, as did I of Ruby's performance. I had a slight graze on my knee but otherwise no damage done apart from my red face and dirty jumper.

***********************

I have decided to have a try at a new Meme site.
It is called "That's my World".
I will add the link to my side bar.
Every Tuesday you get to play tourist guide to show off your world or travels by putting up some pictures of something from where you live. I put my river post in last week.
I don't want to complicate my blog too much but I liked the idea of this one.

Sunday Scribblings "Covert"

2009-05-30T15:28:00.006+10:00

G'Day,
The Sunday Scribblings prompt for this week is "Covert".
I thought I would try to tie my last lot of pictures, taken 2 days ago in with that somehow. Any excuse to show them off:).
I woke up a few days ago and thought what could I do to snap myself out of the mindset that I have been trying to break out of lately. I am a Scorpio and therefore a water sign, it calms me to be near the water. I drove down to Point Hut Crossing which is not far from my house and thought I would take a little walk by my dear old Murrumbidgee river. I guess it was a bit covert of me, I didn't let anyone know where I was going. I know this breaks the first rule of bush walking, being let someone know where you are going and what you are doing , but there you go, I am a fool. Nuthin' happened to me.
Peter and I went back there the next morning early with our dog Rufus to check out the walking track there. The section we looked at goes for 2.2 km, to Pine Island. We went most of the way along it then turned around. It took us a bit over an hour in total. Rufus loved it, he found all sorts of interesting smells to investigate. He became most excited by the bunny scents and remembered chasing them on our walks in Junee. We had to watch and take care that he didn't disappear down a rabbit or Wombat hole. I wonder if there were any mad hatters down those.
The first picture, above, is taken near the bridge at the crossing. I thought it looked like those beautiful promising looking clouds were reaching down from the sky to kiss the Brindabella hill tops. We did not get any more than a spit of rain out of them though.
This is a Wombat hole. There are lots of them along the Murrumbidgee corridor here in Canberra. Can you imagine that there is a tired Wombat hiding covertly inside one of these entrances awaiting night time to begin his next adventure.
Enlarge this sign and have a read and a look at the map.
Under this pretty carpet of leaves lies next springs grass, waiting covertly to pop back out into the sunshine again and partake of the nourishment that the leaves provide.
Off the track here... It will take me a long time to write this today, I have a sore thumb so I keep hitting the wrong keys and have to stop to fix my mistakes.
On the upstream side of the bridge the water was as still and as shiny as a mirror showing reflections of the sky and clouds beautifully.
Down stream showing the crossing.
More of my lovely old river. Still at Point Hut.
The Murrumbidgee flows through Canberra where I live now and passes through Wagga which is where I was born. I have a special link with the Murrumbidgee river, it is special to me. It has often got a mention here in my blog. The Murrumbidgee is not one of the main rivers in this country but a part of the larger Murray river system, well, it flows into it eventually anyway.
Here in Canberra it looks and behaves quite differently to the way it does in Wagga. It is still the life blood of both towns though, and many others along it's course. Winding it's way and cutting through the earth providing water for both places to keep the area alive. Providing for agriculture, wildlife and humans as it travels along. Cleansing and recreational. Bordered here by basalt, red and grey granite and tiny sandy beaches. Shallow and bubbling along over the rocks. Sometimes forming wide calm, deep, pools then being pushed back through the rocks into a narrow, shallow, faster moving stream.
At Wagga it is bordered by red clayed, steep, eroded banks and sweeping bends with sandy patched beaches on the curves. Running deeper, darker and brown- green over its bed, flowing over many big, fallen river red gum stumps in the water. Bordered by many billabongs where the rivers course has changed over the years by cutting off it's own curves. Analogous of life. Most of the billabongs have dried out now, because of many years of drought and human intervention along the river.
My dear old river.
Got to go now.
I have other things I should be doing.
Bye Love Linda.

2009-05-26T10:17:00.002+10:00

G'Day,
Today I am not strong.
I am .....
I don't know.
Questioning,
going backwards,
writing long letters
that will never be read
by their intended recipient
because they will never be presented.
Wanting,
wondering about the answer
not knowing if they are the right answers
or just a placate.
Am I right
or am I wrong,
What is right?
Bloody Hell!
How can someone have spent so many years with me and not know...me?
I think my motives are pure, and honest but
feel they are misconstrued
by the one I have depended upon for love and emotional support.
And given same to in return
I want to cry,
I want to tear my hair out
I want my heart to stop aching
I want my head to stop returning and rehashing my pain.
over and over again.
But it won't.
Will it ever go away?
Have I got what I want or need
not in this mindset.
Build a bridge,
I am trying but it is not the way I am wired.
Scared my state of mind will push him away.

Sunday Scribblings "Worry"

2009-05-24T08:01:00.002+10:00

G'Day,
I have been tired this week. Don't really know why because I am usually fairly busy but this week I am tired. Probably the few nights I stayed in Wagga during my daughter's surgery put my sleep cycles out of whack. Her surgery went well, she is young and healthy so is getting over it quite easily. Worried about the scarring that will mark her pretty little flat tummy. Will get her some oil to rub on it. I am taking her back to Wagga today, when she gets out of bed.
How the hell did I raise such untidy kids. Her stuff is scattered all around the house. Her brothers are messy too. I should have been more bossy with them and did less of the housework myself. It was not as if I didn't try to teach them how to be tidy or clean up after themselves. I am a cleaner, maybe that is my life's work. He he. Ah well.
Worry? Yes that is a given isn't it? It is something we all do. No matter how hard we try to fight it, it always comes back to bite us on the bum, when we least need to have it waste our precious time.
I remember when I was 17 I made a trip to Brisbane to visit my sister who was working and living up there at the time. I had the use of her car and crashed it. A big furniture truck was in the left lane and turning left and I was trying to turn right into a busy six lane road. The lights at the intersection up the road were red and there was nothing coming so I thought that I was o.k and pulled out, and crunch, a car was beside the truck, I didn't see and I got it. I had to take the car to my sister and fess up. I had to get a loan to pay for the repairs, my sister had to catch the bus, the lady in the other car got a minor cut on her finger and I did the "what if" thing that drives us all mad when we do something wrong. I learned from that about worrying after the event.
No you can't turn the clock back. You can't go back to the "what ifs" and think If I had just turned left and not right and gone around the block and though the lights instead of trying to turn right. If that truck had not been so low to the ground and I could have seen under it.
If, If, If.....How bloody destructive and self defeating the "what ifs" can be.
How they can make you cry your heart out and still can't change the facts. I vowed then that I would never put myself through them again. That was my most serious car crash. I have backed into a couple of posts and someone ran into the back of me once but other than the Brisbane crash I have been lucky, or was that skill or caution. My kids say I drive like an old lady. They didn't know what a hoon I was when I was younger. He he. There was nothing I loved more than sliding and skidding around corners and spinning around in the mud on the stock reserves.
When I first started going out with Peter he used to sink down in the seat when I drove like that, everybody used to turn around and stare because it was a girl driving and they expected to see a young bloke and not a girl and I thought that was hilarious. Now I shake my head at people who drive like that and say I am glad that it is their tyres and petrol they are using. I must be getting old, he he. Country kids get to play like that and the city kids learn to drive differently. The road rules have all tightened up since I was a kid too.
But... of course , the what ifs always come back to haunt you next time around don't they. In hindsight.

What if I had been tougher,
If I tried harder,
If I was stronger,
If I did it differently,
If I was not weaker,
If I just gave in,
If I had been softer?

A myriad of what ifs.
Round and round in circles,
Biting your own bum,
Gets you absolutely nowhere,
But....what if?

So here is an annoying cliche for you.
"Why Worry?"
It gets you nowhere. But yes we all still do worry. It is human nature.
Better go and get that girl out of bed and back on the road.
Bye
Love Linda.

Sunday scribblings "Disconected"

2009-05-17T12:39:00.004+10:00

G'Day
The Sunday Scribblings prompt for this week is "Disconnected".
The blog writer Granny Smith was the first entry in this weeks prompt with the sad news that her beloved husband Otto has passed away suddenly. All of the Sunday Scribblings people know her and the extraordinary life that she and her Otto have lived together and I wish to tell her that my heart goes out to her at this difficult time. Dear Granny.
This got me thinking about being disconnected. I thought more along the lines of being disconnected from the things that you love than the things we depend on like power and shelter and sustenance for existence.
I have a friend who has always felt disconnected to where she lives. She is almost in tears every time she brings up the subject. She is from Tasmania where it is green and cool and lush for the larger part of the year and she married a farmer who lives on a dry, flat, drought ravaged farm in the western Riverina. She has been married to the same man for many years, bore him children and lived on the land with him there but she always said that it is not home to her and the antitheses of where she belongs. I guess on on level I can't understand this because I have moved around all of my life and had to learn that a home is not a place where you belong but the sum f the people who live there. But then I think of my beloved Murrumbidgee river where I feel I belong and wonder about that. I am sort of connected to that area. My land, a part of it, where I was born and spent the most years of my life. No I don't own the land there but I feel at home there. The familiar towns and names and places. The smell of the earth and it's colours and plants.
On another level I am disconnected from my children who are living in Wagga.I am going there this afternoon after lunch. A 3 hour drive and my first drive of the new car we brought last week. My daugther is sick and having surgery tomorrow.She needs to urgently have her gall bladder removed because it is diseased and causing complications with her pancreas. Nasty, you can't live without a pancreas, but you can without a gall bladder. I will bring her back here after the operation for a while until she feels better and ready to go back to uni in Wagga.
Another thing that the prompt this week made me think of was being disconnected to your culture.
I thought of the Australian artist Albert Namatjira from the Hermansberg region of the Northern Territory. I think he died in the year I was born or shortly afterwards. Anyway he lived on a mission up there and was taught to paint his own adaption of the European style of landscapes from the area. The style is very different to what traditional aboriginal style arts are. It is a style that speaks to my heart though, with his special depiction of the flora, landscape and colour of the Australian outback of the area.( An area I knew something of from my childhood living in Darwin. When I moved back south with my parents the trees and colours from up there stayed with me.) He became very famous for his work, sharing and teaching other members of his clan and family, similar style art. He was swept up and along in the art world and out of his country to exhibit in Melbourne which was so foreign to him. He suffered in his health with the change from a traditional diet and life style to the white man's way of life and he paid dearly for it. It resulted in heart disease and diabetes. So so sad to lose your culture like that. His daughter Maisie married a man called Benjamin Landara who also became a painter in the same style and I have one of his water colours. I found it in a second hand shop for $20 and couldn't believe what I had found. It, like Albert's work was aimed at the tourist maket of teh time. Albert's teacher was a bloke called Rex Battersby and I am sure he wrote the book about the artist that I got my info about Albert from. It has been many years since I read it, so I hope I remember it correctly.
Albert was disconnected from his country and his culture and paid the price..
I had better get a move on and on the road to Wagga.
Please google Albert Namatjira and have a look at some of his paintings.
Bye.
Love Linda.

Sunday Scribblings. "Healing"

2009-05-10T08:56:00.005+10:00

G'Day, Here are a few photos I took yesterday at the Botanic gardens here in Canberra.
Above is a collection of Casuarina seed pods, and my attempt at drawing them. Enlarge to see their fine details.
Sorry the pics are before the story. I don't know how to move them around.
Tree with rainbow python. I spent more time on the border that the tree and it shows. The border is more like what I usually like to scribble.
Some Canberra autumn colour to show off.
I love these gardens, aren't they wonderful. This area is dedicated to Tasmanian rain forest plants.
The bark from weird Casuarina I found with the bearded trunk.Oops! This is upside down. I flipped the wrong way and can't fix it now. The bark should be pointing down not upwards.
The picture below is of the red wattle bird that came to visit me in the gardens. So called because if you enlarge this picture you will see it has two red bits of skin, wattles, on each side of its face. It is part of the honey eater family, they are common but usually shy and have a repertoire of harsh loud calls.

Happy Mother's Day to all. As you can see from the heading, the Sunday Scribblings prompt for this week is "Healing".
I can vouch that is an appropriate subject to tie in with today being Mother's Day. I have been a mummy for the last 26 years, and will be for the rest of my life, no matter how old my kids grow.
Mummies have special magical healing powers. Just ask any baby or toddler and they will agree with you. They know the magic pain healing quality of a cuddle and a band aid. There is nothing as good as a band aid to sooth a stubbed toe or a squished finger. There is nothing like a cuddle from Mum to quench a timid child's fear, pain or indignity.
One day you are cuddling a baby. The next day you are dusting off dirt from a fall or a crash from a push bike and adding a band aid to a skinned knee. Just a short while later you have the privilege of sitting one of their little school mates up on the kitchen table and doing the same for them. A few quickly passing years later the same boy comes to your house, grown to over 6 foot tall and you think wow! Then you remember with pride putting the band aid on his knee. So special.
Mummies do have special healing powers. I can remember the times when my kids had their falls, their broken bones, their hurt pride and feelings and heart. I was there through it all. Now look at them. Moving onwards and upwards. I may not have always had all the right answers but I was there.
Did you know that daughters, sisters, friends, family, wives and lovers, even strangers have special healing powers too. They are the ones that stay. They are the ones that listen, support, hold your hand and will their strength through their hand into your body to heal and help you and hopefully, when they are ready to let you, you can do the same for them. When they are not there, they are in your mind, or even writing on your blog comments page.
Also consider the healing power of sharing conversation. It can save a life. Even when you don't know it. Just by being kind to someone you don't know, you could be using your power of healing and turn the tables on their state of mind. I had the experience a few months back, and the giver did not even know what she had done for me.
But I remember her.
I also remember the man at the beach who could see I was upset and came over to talk and stayed with me for a while. Healing can be symbiotic, he was on his way to the Dr to get test results. I hope he got good results. Also the lady at the little gallery whom I was speaking with, who reaffirmed my interest in the arts. Something I had forgotten in my turmoil, but something that helped settle me.
The power of healing does not necessarily come from a doctor or a tablet, that is physical healing, if you are lucky. The power of healing what is inside is every bit as vitally important to our fellow man as anything that physical healing can give.And I believe that it is something we all hold in our hands.
I know it is not easy to connect with other people because I am not good at doing that either, but if we were all kinder to each other.......

******************************

Yesterday I took myself out for the day to one of my favourite Canberra places. The botanical gardens. I walked and walked. I sat down for an hour or so and drew. I can't really draw, and am more of a pattern scribbler but it was a nice thing to do anyway. I was thinking of my blog friend Krissie, as she does draw, and I thought I would have a try. So Krissie you have inspired me.
While I was sitting at a table there a red wattle bird landed on the table beside me , not more that 3 feet away, watching what I was doing. Amazing. It was so tame, more likely though that it was looking to see if I had any food to share. When I had my lunch two glossy black crows where hanging around and sharing my food. I guess in the gardens they are confident that they won't be hurt and get bold being fed by the visitors. I also saw tiny wrens flitting through the bushes and other tiny birds that I don't know the name of. I have a bird book somewhere, must find it.
I also saw some strange plants that I had not noticed before on my trips there. There was a allocasuarina inophloia tree from Queensland that had a beard all over its trunk. Weird. Also saw a Banksia whose flower/seed pods were all hanging downwards and not standing up like all the other Banksia flowers I have seen. I thought that was weird too. I took pics, lots of them. In flower were the Croweas. Very pretty. Also Correa, Heath, Grevillia and Banksia flowers galore. I am, sure if I was to go there at any time of the year I would find something different to admire and there would be some other plant in flower. I was considering joining "Friends of the Gardens" a group that helps and supports with the Gardens and does educational things there. Might be good to meet some people and learn lots of new stuff. My gardening experience in the past has mainly been with non native plants and the gardens here are built around all native plants. Then I think, yeah what about time. Oh well. But those gardens. I love them to bits. So beautiful.
That is all today.
Bye
Love Linda.

Tell A Tale. My Childhood Dream.

2009-05-08T21:19:00.008+10:00

G'Day,
The tell tale prompt for this week is "My Childhood Dream"
The picture used for the prompt shows a girl, lets call her Lauren, about 7 years old sitting at a table with her chin resting on her hand, day dreaming. A sweet innocent face filled with hope and a smile for her future.
Now that I am the age I am, I look back at this age group and long for the innocence of those years. I can not remember all the details but I can remember some of the feelings.
I remember that I wanted to be pretty but never was. I had to learn to accept what nature gave me. Well, I believe that in theory anyway, I still want to be pretty at 49 years of age, but I am dreaming again. That is never going to happen, not now. Instead of dreaming I should have been plotting my course how to get there.
The sweet little girl in the photo has other things on her mind. She has a secret smile on her face I wonder what she is thinking about.
When I was very young and I was asked about what I wanted to be when I grew up I would answer "I want to be a Mummy". Well I achieved that, three times over. That was not easy either. Certainly not what Lauren is thinking about in the prompt picture I bet.
When I think of her, I think about all the things ahead of her in her life. The achievements, disappointments, failures and successes. The getting knocked down and the getting back up that she will have to cope with in her journey through life. And she will do that, over and over again. But for now, she is dreaming of what is to come ahead of her.
Will she love and be loved in return. That is a biggie isn't it.
What sort of work will she choose to do, or what sort of work will choose her?
Will she dance and sing and have fun and lots of friends and good times? What will she be good at?
Or maybe she is just thinking of what she wants to tell her best friend Carla about. Something that happened to her yesterday and made her laugh, and the memory of that laughter is putting a smile on her face.
Remembering how she was playing with her Daddy in the park and he was pushing her on the swing. Then they went over to the drinking fountain. Someone had pushed a stick up inside the fountain and when her Dad leaned down to take a mouthful of water the water exploded out in all directions and drenched his face and shirt.
"Oh boy Carla! you should have seen the look on his face it was fantastic. Poor Peppy our dog took fright when Dad jumped backwards from the fountain, nearly got stepped on, and cried out, tangling his lead around my ankles".
That made her laugh all the more at the chaos the stick poked into the water fountain caused.
"I must remember to do that at the fountain at school and stand back to watch someone take a drink. I hope it gets Nicholas, because I don't like smelly boys and that would be hilarious. Oh! I can't wait!"
Maybe she is imagining the painting she will do about it at school on Monday and how Miss Higgs her teacher is going to laugh about the incident. Oh! I do love Miss Higgs.
She might be an inventor. Smiling at the thought of her success with a super duper whirlie girly waggle toy that she is working on in her imagination. The one that will make her rich and famous and how everyone will think what a genius she is for inventing such a marvelous toy. She might be wearing the dress that she fell in love with when she went shopping last Friday with her Mummy. The one Mummy said they couldn't afford this time. You know.... the one with the purple velvet and lace bodice that was laced up the front with shiny ribbon. Yes that is definitely the one she will wear up on the stage to collect her award and everyone from the toy company and in the audience will clap and cheer her, and she will look SO..... pretty.
I wonder if I am good today, when we go to Auntie Marilyn's house, will my Mummy buy me that dress.
Auntie Marilyn has a new baby and I will get to play with her. Oh I can't wait. I can't wait!
"Lauren are you ready to go yet? Come on baby we will be late, hurry up."

****************************

Well that is my story for the Tell a Tale prompt this week. Hope it is O.K.
This morning Peter and I went to pick up our new car. We bought a Ford Fairlane Ghia. Very nice, top of the line for that model. It is 5 years old but has only 9700km on the clock.Yes really! Still has all the waranty etc. It was owned by an elderly couple who only used it to do their shopping, and from what I could see, has just one tiny stone chip on the whole car. The previous owners sold it because it was too low for them to get in and out of easily. It is white and has a nice all black leather interior, very well looked afer, a bit heavy on the petrol but well and truly capable of towing the caravan for us, which is what we were looking for. I have not driven it yet, but I am sure I will get my turn.I am a bit nervous because it is so big and also because, if I am the first to put a scratch on it.... He he. Now we just have to pay for it. Ouch!

Good night.
Love Linda.

Sunday Scribblings "Confession"

2009-05-02T14:09:00.003+10:00

G'day,
This weeks Sunday Scribblings prompt wants us to make a "Confession."
The first line came straight to my mind, but I have to build it into something. Lets try.

I must confess I am a mess
My hair needs a cut and brushing
My housewife skills are not the best
Some of my clothes need tossing
The work I do could make some spew
And maybe leave you laughing
But I am fine and happy with mine
So look to your own
Each to his own
And stop your damnable knocking.

Never said I was perfect. he he.
Confession. Um, nothing else I want to put out there at the moment. All too personal and what I choose to write in here is my choice so there you go.
I am still sometimes struggling to heal but am getting better at trying to move on with love. Looking forward and fighting to trust and stay positive, I am staying. Just yesterday I fought down some bad feelings and beat them back and was shown that those feelings were wrong.

This morning I cut down a conifer that had died in the back garden due the the drought. It was in a stupid place and never looked right where it was anyway. I reckon some fool must have been given it in a pot for Christmas several years ago and decided that they would stick it in the ground anywhere there was a gap without planning where it should have gone. It looked like that to me anyway. I have a couple or blisters on my hand from the secateurs and my handy little pruning saw. So I must confess I have retreated back inside to my biggest time waster, the puter. It is bright and sunny outside today but cool inside so I am being a selfish consumer of our resources and have the little fan heater blowing on my legs. The temperature got down to 1 degree last night so the cold is here and I have been moving my plants all around to try to stop the frosts damaging them so badly like they were last year. There is autumn colour everywhere around Canberra at the moment with all the deciduous trees in their yellow and red and orange cloaks. So at the schools and in my back yard there is lots of leaves to chase out and pick up. I use them as mulch at home, you are not allowed to burn them anymore like I used to love to do when I was a child and play fire bug. That was o.k though and a big bonus to my parents because I used to like doing that and they got the leaves cleaned up for them easily. He he.
This afternoon I am going to make some anzac bikkies just incase the visitor we are expecting turns up and then I will have something to serve with a cuppa. Better go do that eh!
Bye
Love Linda.

Tell a Tale. "Silence."

2009-05-01T20:39:00.003+10:00

G'day,
Here is my second go at the "Tell a Tale site. This weeks prompt is the word Silence.
Silence. What is that? Is it the opposite of noise?
Is it some strange thing that we imagine there is, but is never quite real?
What is real? Sometimes I don't know.
Even in a flotation tank where you are meant to be able to hear nothing from outside, inside you can hear your own heart beat and breathing.
Maybe there are different types of silence that are not so noiseless. Like the silence you hear from the person you are talking to after saying something stupid and their silence tells you that you have just made a dumb mistake.
Or, the silence you get when someone feels unable to tell you the truth.
Or, the silence you hear when you walk into a room and everybody who is talking stops dead and looks around at you and you wonder what you did or what they were saying that they did not want you involved in.
Or, the silence that comes to you after you have the house to yourself after not having a minutes peace and it is pure heaven to hear. But you know it is only temporary and that you will welcome your loved ones returning and breaking the silence again.
Or the type of silence that you seek for solace in the bush, and revel in, even though you can still hear the music of life going on around you. The wind, the trees, the birds the rustle in the grass the far off voices of people, the insects buzz.
The silence of loneliness, or of boredom, or the still of a night alone, or social isolation, the silence of a tiny animal in terror, or your terror.
Or the deliberate silence given when someone wants to hurt you.
Or the silence of waiting to see the result of your deeds.
The relative silence of clock watching for a longed for event or an end to come, whatever the conclusion may be, a beginning or an end.
The silence of waiting and not knowing and wanting, unrequited.
Or maybe it is the inability to hear, either physically or mentally what is being said to you.
The end result of the loss of one of our most dear senses.
There is never silence even in an empty mind.
Silence. What is that?

Adelaide trip pictures

2009-04-28T09:16:00.012+10:00

G'Day,
Here is a selection of the pictures and explanation of my Adelaide trip. They are in here back to front as ...well I am Linda.
The first one is when we were nearly home.Taken on the Hume highway between Gundagi and Yass, heading north. Heavy rain most of the way home for the 2 day drive. We followed the rainbow home.
The pic above is of the other extreme taken during a thick dust storm in central South Australia.The picture didn't do the dust storm justice, we had to slow right down as it was quite dangerous driving and we could not see far ahead.
This is a big tyre across the highway at a little town called Yamba in S.A. We stopped for lunch here on Saturday. We travelled across four states on our trip. Australian Capital Territory, New South Wales, Victoria and South Australia, 3500km.
At Waikerie in S.A. we stopped at a lookout over the Mighty Murray River and there were lots of rocks about that looked like pure ochre. I couldn't resist playing with it and ground some down with this pebble. It was soft and silky and had fine sand in it. The aborigines used to use this as paint and trade it with other clans. I have some in my pottery supplies in the shed, it is a form of iron oxide.
Murray river below the lookout at Waikerie. The Murray is the biggest river system in Australia all the rivers on the eastern side of the country eventually make their way and merge into it, right from the top of Queensland down to South Australia. It drains into lake Alexandrina below Tailem bend and makes up the Coorong national park below that then into the southern ocean. Amazing. Seeing the area has always been a special wish of mine.
Murray river, same place looking downstream. It is a different colour here than it is near Albury much further upstream where it is a dark muddy green brown with steep banks and not the big cliffs you can see here. South oz is the driest state in the driest country in the world, The Murray is its main water source.
Waikerie lookout, what got us there. Our poor old ford has a worn out manifold gasket and is starting to sound like a tractor and smell worse, but there was nowhere that we could get it fixed on the ANZAC day long weekend. It got us home, slowly anyway. I reckoned Pete and I have orange livers from all the exhaust fumes we were breathing in. (When they do autopsies on people who have died from carbon monoxide poisoning they have orange livers.)
Sorry these are back to front. This picture is of an archway on Kangaroo Island. If you enlarge it you can see some New Zealand fur seals rolling around with their flippers in the air, and others resting on the rocks. Funny critters and lovely to watch. The things hanging from the ceiling are not stalactites but fossilized tree roots.
The archway again and more seals sunning themselves and resting on the rocks. above and below pics.

This is a pic I took at Kangaroo island also. The island is 155 km at its longest point and the roads there are only 15% sealed. The remainder are dirt made of stuff called laterite which is mostly iron, sourced from the island. The guide was telling us that laterite is mostly iron and when they have storms there it therefore attracts lots of lightning strikes so you get out of the way and head indoors pretty quick when there is an electrical storm around.
There were lots of these little dead, burned bushes surrounding an area called Remarkable rocks. I tried to take a picture from ground level looking through them.I thought they were like gnarly sculpted bonsai trees.
Remarkable rocks. Yes it really is called that. Peter and I. The rocks are set high at the top of a cliff and run down tom the ocean. They really are remarkable. Granite and sculpted by the wind and weather into fantastic huge shapes.The rock that they are perched on looked like it was one big rock and had been worn away by little rivers of rain into smooth shapes covered in that red algae you can see in this picture. They are reputedly very treacherous and slippery when it rains. People have died here by slipping and falling over the edge into the ocean below in such circumstances, I am pleased we had dry weather. Had to hold onto our hats as it was very windy.

Rocks at Remarkable rocks. This looks like a big eagles beak to me.
Fantastic sculptured shapes, same place.
Remarkable rocks from further back.
Part of the tour we went on at Kangaroo Island included a free flight Raptor show. This is the National Parks and wildlife guide with a Wedge tailed eagle. Australia's biggest eagle and the second biggest in the world after the American bald eagle, except the wedge tailed eagle has a wider wing span. This guy was such a pet and here you can see him enjoying a scratch and cuddling up to his trainer.
The wedgie again wings outstretched. I used to watch these guys sitting on my front veranda at Junee. Circling high above rocky hill and riding the thermals while hunting. The other birds don't like them, I guess they would be pretty threatening. Anyway they try to chase them out of their area and I watched many an Aerial dogfight between the eagles and magpies. One day when I was watching the eagle got p***ed off with the maggies that were harassing it and pulled one of the magpies straight down out of the sky. It didn't get up again.
Sad to say though that farmers don't like these eagles and think they take their lambs. They don't, their diet is rabbits and small rodents, which would be of benefit to the farmers.They are not endangered as far as I know but their numbers are dwindling from farmers killing them off and from habitat loss. They have no predators and are at the top of their food chain.
This is Casper. He is a barn owl, isn't he beautiful. He was sitting on my knee when I took this picture. He was trained to hop on each knee around the front row of people at the show, and was given a little bit of meat for each one he stopped at, watching his trainer all the time to see where the next tasty morsel was coming from.
Casper again, sitting next to me.We were allowed to pat him with the backs of our hands as touching him with our fingers would take the bloom off his feathers.
This is a Kookaburra. He is the largest of the kingfisher family. This bloke came from Queensland, the Queensland ones have the blue bit on their wings. He isn't really a raptor but he is a meat eater. Otherwise known as the Laughing Jackass or Blue Winged Kookaburra. There was a pair of these in the show, we were asked to stay sitting down because they swoop down low over the crowd when they come in to land and they know we are supposed to stay seated and they can get upset when things don't look right to them.
This little guy is a kite. They are the ones you see hovering over prey along the roadsides then suddenly diving down to grab a mouse or grasshopper, they have fantastic eyesight, much better than us humans do.
These guys are Australian fur seals.We were allowed on the beach with them on the Kangaroo Island highlights tour, which is what Pete and I went on, but had to keep at least 10 metres away from them. The ones in the pic above are young teenage males, they are like teenage humans in that they like to spar with one another and try it out on the young girls. But it is the big daddy guys that get to have all the fun.
Female Aussie fur seal. This one came towards us, and quite close, and we had to be still and quiet to not upset her as they can become aggressive if threatened. The N.Z. seals are smaller and darker than these guys. There is a colony on the island of over 5000 of them. They come ashore to rest after being at sea hunting for three days at a time and their pups wait for them to return for their next meal. The females fully grown are 180kg and the males can get to 350kg in weight.
The plane we went to across to Kangaroo island was a little 10 seater. I loved it. The weather was clear and so we had a great view. The flight took 35 minutes and I enjoyed watching all the gauges sitting right behind the pilot. In this picture we were heading in to land on Kangaroo island. The tour cost a bit but it was great fun and better than having to drive miles back down the coast from Adelaide to where the ferry goes across to the island.
Above Adelaide. I think I remember seeing the population of Adelaide being 1.3 million, I am too lazy to look it up.
The plane we went to Kangaroo island on.
This is in Adelaide at the Jam factory. I always read about this place and wanted to go there. It is famous for the arts and pottery. Nowadays as pottery is less popular than glass, it is going in that direction but I did see some excellent porcelain work in the shop there. These guys are working glass. I was talking to the artist, whose name is Michael Moore, he said they were making a centre piece for a corporate customer. Interesting stuff, he had an exhibition of weird and wonderful critters made out of glass and gave me a book / pamphlet about his pieces. My teacher at Canberra Potters society used to work at the Jam factory and many great Aussie potters had their start there too.
This is Lacepede bay near Kingston east of Adelaide. I lashed out here and bought a half lobster and prawns and oysters for our tea, but OH YUM!
Big lobster at Kingston. He is for sale as is the cafe/ touristy thing behind him, can you afford him? He might be a bit tough to chew on though.
Now we come to the Coorong, which is where we stared the adventure. The Coorong is a spit of land and sand dunes that seals off lake Alexandrina from the sea. The Murray river drains into Lake Alexandrina and they have it sealed off to stop the salt water coming back into the lakes.We couldn't get across to the spit because we couldn't drive over there without a 4x4 and we didn't have a canoe, but we had a good look on the other side anyway. The spit runs for over a hundred km along the coast. The pic above is of some plants that I though were pretty. They were on a sand dune and had succulent type leaves, obviously adapted to salty soil conditions. Don't know what they were called.
The Coorong fish nursery. Looking into the water below a little wharf we could see thousands and thousands of tiny fish. We did throw a line in, but being amateur fishermen and so many tiny fish to prey on, the fish were not hungry.
The little wharf at long point in the coorong national park. we had the whole place to ourselves, lovely.
The main reason I wanted to visit the coorong was the birdlife there. The area is famous for it. Sorry this is a bit blurry but you can still read it if you enlarge it. It is a very environmentally sensitive area due to the decline in the quantity and quality of the Murray river waters which feed it and from human intervention. It is like a giant bird and fish nursery.
We stayed at Meningie for 2 nights in the caravan park and there is a pelican colony there. Here I tried to get a pic of them but they took off to the safety of the water again. This is only a few of the number that were there. It looked to me like they were a group of youngsters with a few older ones to guard them. The younger ones were more grey coloured and the older ones had their full black and white colouring.
Silver gulls on the shore at Lake Albert. Lake Albert joins up with lake Alexandrina.The caravan park at Meningie is right on the banks here.There was a few other bird species amongst them but I don't know what they were called. Might have been avocets.
Oh! this was in the Coorong national park. Just look at this! A breeding colony of black swans, hundreds of them. My photos can not do this place justice. You can hear the surf thundering in just across the spit from here.
This was the first place we stopped on the Coorong. I was amazed to find that all of those rocks you can see in this picture are made up of millions of shells concreted together over millennium. I actually bought a bit of it home with me as a souvenir.
Here I am at the caravan park enjoying a bottle of Brown Brothers Moscato and oysters and prawns for an entree that I got in Kingston. Very laid back.
These little guys were at the caravan park at Meningie too. Loving having some green grass to chew on.
Part of the pelican and silver gull colony living on the shores of Lake Albert. Pelicans are so big and ungainly it looks like it is a real effort for them to get off the ground.
A fisherman came along the beach and dumped some fish heads for the birds, so I got a bit closer to them to take pictures.
Reminds me of a silly tune that my kids used to sing when they were little.
"Fish heads, fish heads, rolly polly fish heads, Fish heads fish heads eat em' up, yum!"
I was fascinated by this. Yes the lake really is pink. I have never got to walk on a salt lake before.
I took heaps of pics of the patterns that the salt crystals made as they dried and lifted up in big sheets.
A hand full of salt. Crust and crystals.
Pink salt lake between Tailem bend and Meningie. Like I said my pics don't do it justice. You can see where someone in a 4 wheel drive tried to drive along it and got bogged. Hah serves them right. Silly buggers.
Last picture is on the way south across the Hay plains. This area is amazing. As flat as a table top for miles and miles, as far as the eye can see. No trees except to mark the progress of a water course.The vegetation consists of tussock grasses, salt bush and spinifex otherwise and big bindies which stuck in my shoes and tried to transport themselves in my car to kinder places. The pic is meant to be a bit of a joke, I took it to show the highlight of the Hay plains. And... that is a man made bit of dirt. Some of the land out at Urana is like that , where I lived for 6 years. There are lots of Emus and Kangaroos out here, so not a good place to travel the roads at dusk and dawn, of any time of night for that matter. As we were traveling along here I had an old Aussie bush ballad going on in my head. Flash Jack from Gundagi, it is about a bloke telling of his shearing travels and prowess in the area.

All among the wool boys, all among the wool,
Keep your blades full boys, keep your blades full,
I can do a respectable tally myself
whenever like to try
and they know me round the back blocks as
flash Jack from Gundagi.

That is the chorus anyway. The station names in the other verses of the song include some of the ones in the Hay area.Willandra, Toganmain, Tubbo stations are some of the big famous ones out there.
Out here there are huge sheep stations, nowadays owned by big corporations who have been buying up all the water allocations in the area. My dear old beloved Murrumbidgee river winds its way through the plains nearby, it runs into the Murray river between Euston and Balranald south of Hay.
Well what a long post that was eh! It was fun doing the trip and I hope you enjoy my sharing it with you.
Bye
Love Linda.

Sunday Scribblings "Follow"

2009-04-27T12:01:00.003+10:00

G'Day,
I am back after my South Australia adventure. We traveled about 3500 km all up on the trip, that is just the km showing on the car's speedo, without the side trips we traveled on the little plane and bus when we went to Kangaroo Island.We saw the Coorong, the city, desert, etc. Lots and lots to tell but later.
So Follow!
What do I follow, or who?
Musicians that I follow, or whose talents I enjoy, I guess that is a way of following.
I always loved Billy Joel, especially his lyrics that can make me happy or bring me to tears but always are wonderful and have special meaning to me. Point in case- the songs, Honesty, Always a woman, Just the way you are, who doesn't want to be loved like that? Italian restaurant, Leningrad, always makes me cry, ah, so many great songs.
Also love the style of John Butler, my nieces say I should have been a hippy liking that sort of stuff, he he.
Jimmy Barnes, love his gutsy voice and especially his soul deep album. only seen him live once but it was fantastic.
Natalie and Nat King Cole, both of them. Saw Natalie when she came to Australia years ago and that was great but was a bit disappointed because I thought the performance was too polished and never deviated from the way you hear her sing on the albums and I thought she should have put a bit of grunt into it. But never mind, still great.
Mozart, cool and calming, great when you have to drive through the city peak hour traffic or when you are driving through the beautiful Aussie bush, sets the mood beautifully.
Red hot chili peppers, good for singing along and if you want something more fast paced.
Anything 70's and 80's Aussie rock, a great period for Aussie pub music.
Gutsy woman jazz/ blues singers.Anyone who has that special quality in their voice that I feel.
Janis Joplin, Deep Purple, Black Sabbath, Led Zeppelin, etc etc all that old style rock that today's teens refuse to recognize as the fore runners of today's music. Often had my kids say when something comes on the radio rehashed "How do you know that song?".
One of the things that I love to follow are some of the things I did on the trip we came home from just last night.
The Australian bush. Love it, draw from it. Peace, strength, beauty, serenity and a special toughness that makes me feel that the earth is going to survive and be here long after we, as a species, is long gone. Have you ever traveled through the Australian bush and watched the light play with the trees and plants, highlighting, changing sparkling on the leaves. Seen the subtle nuances of the colour changes between the earth and leaves and the bark on the tree trunks and the way they grow and adapt to their respective environments. I can never understand how anybody could look at a tree or plant and not see it's beauty, or just see the dead leaves, wood and fallen bark without seeing that a part of nature's regeneration process. So beautiful. If you have not seen like that, try. The life that they protect and harbor, the birds, insects and animals. Maybe that is one of the reasons I have liked living in Canberra. Australia's bush capital. We have such a beautiful world, look at it.
I would follow, and follow to the end of the earth, my husband, I love him and want to be with him for the rest of my life. But we are damaged and I still can not get what happened out of my mind, I am trying, but it is stuck in there, even though he says that is all over with. I need to be stonger, and know if I was, that I probably would not still be here now, most women would not be, but I want to be, but there you go. Follow.
That is all this post.
Bye
Love Linda.

New prompt, "Tell a Tale"

2009-04-12T01:58:00.002+10:00

G'Day,
I went to bed too early tonight and am wide awake at 2.00 in the morning. Not a good idea to go to bed so early. Anyway. I found this new writing site via Anthony North's blog, he puts up a list of them to encourage writer's creativity. Thanks Anthony. You can find a link to his blog on my side bar if you want to have a look.
The site is called "Tell a Tale" They put up a picture to write about and set a word limit at 300 words, and you get a point or two for doing it right. Well I don't always follow the rules, and points, well not worried about them, and I don't know how to transfer the picture on the site across to my blog so, if this doesn't fit in with the rules so be it. But here is my first try anyway.
The picture was of a man whom I surmised to be on his death bed, he is watched over by a grey haired Dr and the late afternoon sunshine is streaming through the window across his body showing the angles of the patients face and body. Let me see if I can paint a picture with words for you so you can see what I have interpreted.

******************

Ahh! Old man. This is so, so, different to what I have done before. I have sat so many times thus with a patient but never one so close to me or so dear to me as you are.
I see you and remember you and our times together.
now the skin is stretched taunt across your face and body
Your body is no longer able to process the sustenance that is provided it and is so thin and angular
the late afternoon sunlight shining on it from a benevolent star
adding golden warmth and shadow
Your body.
Body that has in it's time on this plane of existence, done all that a body was built to do.
To live, to love, to create, to build, to procreate, to destroy , to nurture, to .......
and done it all well.
Now ravaged and worn by the life you have lead
and winding down to unconsciousness and towards it's last breath.
I am communicating telepathically with you
How many times have I sat here over the last week ,
watched and willed your chest to rise again
that faint pulse beating to continue in your neck to show me that you are still here with me
But I know it is your time,
time
to move to the next plane and you are ready for it
I sit here with you to farewell you on your journey
I have no right to try to stop you anymore for my own purposes
So when you are ready, go
move to take the hands of those long gone loved ones and others who are there to welcome you
to lead you through the gates
to a place where the pains and things that mattered so much in this life will matter no more
and you will be at peace
Go with love
God bless.

************************

So there tis' my first go at the new site.
I have sat with people and said goodbye to them like this. I worked in a hospital for 14 years until I moved to Canberra where I am now, and talked telepathically with them to say goodbye. I have seen this scene many times over. It isn't always sad to say goodbye when you know that someone is suffering and it would be a relief for them to go and they are ready to go. When working in the hospital, especially with long term patients, you can become very attached to some of them and get to know them as friends. I have many memories of such people from my time there. I also know that when it is your loved one lying there in the bed it is a much different situation.
But I didn't get to do that with my Dad when he died.
Love Linda.

Sunday Scribblings, "Scared"

2009-04-11T13:00:00.004+10:00

G'Day,
The Sunday Scribblings prompt for this week is "Scared". What scares me. Lots.
The thing that scares me most is that something might happen to hurt, injure or do worse than that to my children and loved ones.A real mummy type fear, I guess most of us have that one don't we?
Scared of
motor bikes, ......they kill
fairground rides......tipped upside down and spun around
the occult.........black arts
being held down.......I fight
big animals.........fascinate and draw me but scared of them still
having my feet off the ground.........never even rode a push bike
fighting...............don't like the consequences, except for if I win, he he
losing control of my emotions/ temper........always try to stay in control of them, hate when I don't.
lightening near me.........lovely to watch but....
centipedes...........these guys really creep me out. Especially the giant red ones we have here.
poisonous snakes.............isn't everyone?
dishonest people who con me too easily.......I am gullible with these types of people.
being alone..............always thought I would like this but after trying it, after a few days, didn't.
fakes...............I loath this trait in others and would not allow it in myself.

Hey on a lighter note!
the antitheses could be;

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with string
these are a few of my favorite things......
Yeah still crazy.
Not as bad as last week and the week before but worse than next week, hopefully.

Linda ism for the week.
"Scared is just one "r" away from scarred."

**************************************************

Yesterday we went walking around the lake with our doggie and had fish and chips for our good Friday lunch. T'was good, and I even got to use up some of the calories I consumed from the fried food which upset my tummy because I have not been eating that type of stuff lately.
The autumn colours are just starting to develop in the many deciduous trees planted all around Canberra. The oily dark burgundies, browns, reds, yellow and oranges. The colours should be in full glory in the next week or so as it starts to cool down further into the new season. It got down to a minimum temperature of 5 Celsius a few nights ago. Good weather for snuggling down into the quilt and staying in bed late of a morning. Mmmmmmmmm.
During the week a mechanic tried to rip me off. He told me that my car needed $3150 worth of repairs done to it, which is twice the amount that my whole car is worth. When I showed someone the list of what needed doing they told me that most of it was over priced and of minor consequence. I did not go back to them, so he lost a customer over it. I got the things that needed fixing done else where and will be leaving the rest of the little bits and pieces until they really need doing. Off that list, of importance were a number plate light bulb, which I might have been booked for, 2 front tyres and a wheel balance. My little old car is running fine otherwise. The shock absorbers might need some work in the future but so far.........So..........Mr Mechanic go take a long walk off a short pier.
Bye for now.
Love Linda

Sunday Scribblings "Celebrate"

2009-04-05T08:49:00.003+10:00

G'Day,
Sunday Scribblings prompt for this week is "Celebrate".
Boy is that a hard one for me in my present frame of mind, it might be cathartic though for me to work on, mightn't it. I am still a bit crazy here, up and feeling o.k one minute and down the next with everything that has happened going back and forwards through my brain and torturing myself with the details.
Celebrate, well last time I celebrated was a couple of Saturday nights ago when I was back in Junee. It was my old workmate Leonie's 50th birthday. So I went along to the party at the bowling club to see her. She always throws great parties and is the one person I know who can be termed the most social and popular person I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. There were 5 of us girls working at Junee hospital that were turning 50 this year, Leonie was the first of them. Lindy, Anne, who I went to high school with, Raylene and I were the other four. So 1959 must have been a year for good people.
Anyways I went to the party and talked to and hugged everyone and danced and sang, because that is what happens at Leonie type parties, even though she does have the occasional drink she doesn't usually , she does not need to use alcohol to have fun. She had a local guy, Peter Hook, who was up on stage as the D.J. and whenever her favorite singer John Farnham sang a song she jumped up there and danced on the stage. So funny, and typical Leonie. She loves to have a good time and always encourages you to join in and do the same. So I celebrate Leonie, who has reached 50 years old and is a great person. She does not have the perfect life, marriage and whatever else but she celebrates when ever she can and nothing holds her down for long. She has lots of friends and makes friends easily by drawing people to her. In the picture above, Leonie is the one in the middle, I am wearing the orange shirt (with my big mouth flapping) and Fiona is on the other side. It was taken last weekend in Wagga when we had lunch together. Fiona was also a workmate from Junee hospital but moved to Western Australia probably 2 years ago and was back for a visit. Her home town is Urana where I lived for 6 years, while my hubby worked on the council there, so we have that link, I knew some of her family there but not her, as she was a bit younger and still in her teens when we lived there. My daughter was born while we were living there. Funny old place Urana , when we lived there, there was about 400 people in the town. I think there are less now and it is dying. It was sure looking very old and shabby last time I drove through there a year or so back.
I also celebrate new life. Another friend in Junee, Linda, became a grandma for the first time last Saturday night. Her daughter Deanne gave birth to a daughter of her own, a lovely new life, weighing in at 7lb and strong and healthy, named Tiane. So welcome Tiane.
I also celebrate my children. My sweet daughter Anne-Marie, who is studying at university in Wagga in her second year of a psychology course. My second son David, who is such a strong and happy, social person and my eldest son Michael who has suffered depression for years but since moving to Canberra is moving forwards with his life and is a good guy (always was, just didn't believe it or want to prove it). He got his driver's licence last week and bought his first car, so that is a really big step forward for him now he can be more independent.
I would like to say that I celebrate my marriage to Peter but at the moment I am still too battle scarred to do so. We are together and working on things and talking, probably better than we have ever talked together but it is still Early days and I am still feeling like shit, and as I said before, still up and down . But isn't make up sex great. He he. We have so much history together and I can not imagine ever losing that, but things have definitely been damaged. I guess I wasn't ready to lose everything we had in our past or planned for our future together, so I am holding on. I love him though I haven't been liking him much lately, but I want to get that back, then there is the trust issue.
We are planning a trip to South Australia in a few weeks time and taking the caravan with us. I have been down there a couple of times and he hasn't been to S.A. at all yet. I want to see Goolwa and the Coorong. Goolwa is the town where the Murray river meets the sea and the Coorong is an environmentally sensitive national park with a long narrow spit of land that is between the coast and the sea and is full of wildlife, especially birds, but is damaged by global warming etc and may not be there as it is forever, as a consequence. The Coorong is where the "Storm Boy" movie was set and filmed. Then we might take a bus tour of Adelaide, which is better than finding your own way around. You get the commentary as well, that you wouldn't have known about touring by yourself. Maybe take the Barossa valley route ( big wine making/growing area) on the way back, we are not much on drinking but it is an area that is very pretty and well worth the tour. I don't mind a wine, or should that be whine lately, but am certainly no connoisseur, in either form of the word. Anyway, our plans are not set in concrete at the moment, we will just do it and see where it leads us. Should be good, especially looking forwards to the precious time by ourselves together. The map we were looking at last night said that it is over 1100km, one way, by road from here.
So celebrate.....
Good and bad
and in between times
They are all part of your journey through life
Remember that none of those times will last forever.
Bad returns full circle to good
Even though it may take a while
Good can become bad
But indifference can lead to either.

Thank you everyone for your comments and support over the last few weeks I appreciate your contact.
Love Linda.

Sunday Scribblings, "Aging"

2009-03-29T21:07:00.006+11:00

Elizabeth

Tree spirit.

G'Day,
I have just had the best three days I have had for a long time. On Friday night Peter and I went to a concert to see Russel Morris and Brian Cadd. Two great old Aussie rockers from the seventies. Russel used to have thin, straight , long blond hair which has been replaced by...none. He is completely bald headed. Brian always had a head full of silky light brown hair with a beard to match, his hair and beard now days is pure white, but still long and silky. So, as you could imagine, amongst a crowd of similar aged people to myself, there were lots of hair jokes, and age jokes. These guys faces and bodies are ageing but all of their talent is still there. Well ... I thought we both had a wonderful time.
I spent this Saturday and Sunday with the Potter's club in Wagga at a 2 day workshop tutored by a Beechworth potter Judy Pierce. I haven't made sculpted faces before. Everybody made their own style of things. I made my Elizabeth bust and also a second one. I had the idea of one of those giant red river gums that you see by the river which are hundreds of years old. I made a tree but with a spirit mask enclosed within its branches. They just have to survive the drying firing and transporting processes first.
I also had lunch on Saturday with a couple of girlfriends and went out for tea with the potters after the Saturday part of the workshop.
I had a sense of forboding all the way home tonight coming back here and finding out..... Even though I thought we were going to be o.k.
I just came home and got a phone call from Peter and I asked him if he had been in contact with Sharon, the woman we have had this crisis in our marriage over, and he told me no but that he was expecting her to call him for his birthday tomorrow. I said well you better make up your mind because I will not wait around and asked if he was sure what he wanted to do and he said "I don't know, I am 99 percent sure but I don't know". So now I am back in the pit again. Oh Fuck!
Talking to people over the weekend who have been through this ordeal has convinced me that I am not just being paranoid and am justified to feel the way I do about this situation. They have in fact been surprised that I have come back at all after hearing our story.
Is this bastard trying to convince me to leave so he has an easy way out?
Maybe. Probably. It is sure looking like that.
I can't believe that I have been so encouraging to him, using my body and my heart to win him, the way I have been for the last week and trying so bloody hard to overcome my pain and in the process sacrificing more of myself and my dignity.
So dears!
To tie this in with the prompt.
Yep aging.
That is when you have a husband going through a big mid life crisis who may or may not choose to stay with you after you have given him your whole life, for the taste of a younger woman, who has already proven that she is an unfaithful lover to others. If he goes to her, she will very shortly be doing the same thing to him as he is doing to me right now. Poetic justice for the bastard.
I am angry and stressed and broken all over again, I don't know if I am strong enough to leave for good, although I know that I should, and it is the right thing to do right now, as so many women before me have chosen to do in my situation. I am so scared of what my future will bring. I want a crystal ball to tell me what to do. I am so scared.
I know a factor in this is that she has found a lump in her breast and is told it is cancer. Peter's twin sister died of breast cancer when she was just 28 leaving 3 small children behind. He has always had big issues with cancer and is terrified of getting it himself. He has spent the past 20 years working voluntarily with a charity who raises money for its victim's treatment. Her birthday is the day after his, giving Sharon and he the twin link, and I am sure that he associates her with his sister whom he has never gotten over losing. His other sister Maureen said the same thing to me when I last spoke to her on the phone a few days ago.
I am sitting up again tonight. I went to bed a few hours ago but could not sleep. I am trying to keep busy in here.
Love Linda.

2009-03-26T21:32:00.002+11:00

G'Day,
It is Thursday night. I have been improving and then sliding backwards again all week. When I am outside and busy and talking to people I feel fine, then when I am alone or at night, my mind runs away with me and I am torturing myself again. I don't know if this is real, I don't know if it is my fault or if what has happened is ever going to set me free. I am not a danger to myself anymore, I do know that much.
At the moment I can't believe he was ready to throw away all of our family and future and past for this silly woman. She now says that there was nothing but friendship between them, which is obviously less than my husband was hoping for, even though he says he loves me and wants me, and I know that she lies when she said that because she has been actively pursuing and encouraging him with my knowledge for a long long time. She says I am pathetic and it is my fault. She is playing games with her ego and told me that she has many prospects other than my husband to follow up on, well, that just reinforces my opinion of her, I wonder how many of those are married too. She really is a piece of work and he was ready to give me up for a possibility of a fling with her. Anyway she has withdrawn from the situation, if I can believe her, and my husband is now feeling like a fool for what has gone on. A big factor in this is that people in Junee that knew them are talking about what has happened between them and what it has done to me, well I am sorry for you dearie but did you really expect me to not need to talk with my friends when I was going crazy and they were all I thought I had left. She obviously thinks more of her image than she does of my husband.
I want him and I want our future still. God help me I don't know why. Maybe I am too dependent.
I go from angry, to sad,to determined, to seductive (yes I can still spice things up, I am not that old yet), to scared, to insecure torture of myself and him, then back and forwards again between all of those things. Last night I had a night mare about the two of them and in my dream I bashed his head in. I have never dreamed about being violent before. I sat up in front of the T.V. until dawn to try to not think about that dream.
Bonus though, I have lost about 7 or 8 kg throughout the last three weeks. But that does include some results from the acid/alkaline diet I was trying to test out at the start of this, probably 3kg of it. That has gone by the wayside though, now I just can't eat much before feeling sick and also, I am trying to continue the weight loss thing anyway.
I am not over this and I don't know how long it will take, but I know what I want and am willing to try to get it back. He says that it is what he wants too and it me that he will stay with. I dunno, I dunno....
I nearly lost my job over this when I ran away from here during the night and left my boss in the lurch. I have never in my life been sacked from a job, but I think that was pretty close. I still have my job, but with reduced hours. Fair enough I guess, but I still have a job.
When I think about the things that have happened during my life and the people who have shit on me (including my own family) I must be such an idiot. If I haven't got a big L for loser tatooed on my forehead I think I must have a big V for victim. Or a big K pinned on my back, for kick me when I am down.
I hope I can sleep tonight.
He is trying his best to be supportive and good to me and reinforce that he loves me, at the moment but I just don't know if it is for real and I can believe him.
Anyway I am back.For better or worse is yet to be seen.But I am back.
That is all for now.
love Linda.