beauty for ashes...

great weekend home

2009-11-13T18:43:00.000-08:00

i went to dallas last week and i don't know why but i've turned into the quickest traveler. i wasn't even gone a full two days. i think i get homesick as i'm packing. it beats my last trip of 24 hours at the lake house so at least i'm improving...

anyway, the drive was good...and i got to go to dinner at cpk with my dad, my two brothers austin and david, and my adorable sister-in-law nikki.

the next morning i got up, took henry on a walk, and i went to my mom's first grade class at highland meadows elementary. she sent two students to meet me in the office and take her to her room. when they saw me the 6 year old girl shook her said and said to the receptionist, 'this isn't her. we are picking up a little girl.' i guess when mom told them her daughter was here, they weren't expecting a grown up girl! lol...

it was so fun to see her in action...the kids were so cute and they all sat around on the blanket while i told them about how i was an eye doctor and i wore glasses when i was 8. later mom was reading a book about nocturnal animals and asked how bats slept. this little boy said, 'with a blanket?'...mom tried to help him out and give him another chance and he said, 'with a pillow?' so priceless! this little black girl next to him said, 'no! you're thinking about US.'

then i got to go to northpark! except i'm a horrible shopper and after and hour or two of looking at banana and jcrew for some skinny jeans i was about to give up. i got a starbucks and called my sister sarah. she said to go to nordstrom and ask for straight leg privacy jeans. she emphasized to ask for help and not try to do it myself. well, 15 min later i had my new jeans (i ended up getting citizens). why doesn't knowing how to shop come naturally to me?

that night i got to go to my little brother's 9th grade football game. he plays corner...and (i learned a new word) he got a pick last week! i was wishing i had brought my glasses to the game, but it was still fun to watch even if all the little guys were blurry on the field.

we met up with elyse after the game...where she and my dad tried to convince me (like always) why i should move back to dallas. why am i still in houston?? i don't know...i'm actually getting the itch to move somewhere, but want to make sure it's what god wants and isn't just for a change of scenery. i love elyse and it's always fun to see her!

the next day i slept in till, like 10! and henry and i headed back to houston...i won't be home for thanksgiving (karri is getting married the weekend before outside of dallas and i'll be spending thanksgiving with julie) or christmas (i'm going skiing with my dad the week of new year's) so it was nice to get a trip in to dallas to relax and hang out.

hopefully next trip will be a little longer...

i love my new baby!!

2009-11-11T22:24:00.000-08:00

my first laptop...an acer aspire mini! i haven't taken it anywhere yet, but it's so small and light! i am thinking about selling my old deskop...don't really need it anymore.

isn't it so cute?! i love the little cordless mouse too...

flu shots

2009-11-10T22:12:00.000-08:00

i never get flu shots. well one time i did. they were giving them for free at work. but i think i got sick a couple of days after.

so i passed this year on the flu shot. but now they are offerring the h1n1 vaccine and i passed on that one too. and the nurse asked me if i was sure and i told her that i got sick that one time and i know it was from the shot.

she asked me if i was allergic to eggs (which i now know is not dairy but just something else i am sensitive to) and i said yes. and she said the vaccine contains a small amount of egg protein. so that's why i don't like them!

i also always test positive for tb....but the chest x-rays are always negative.

new goal...

2009-11-02T14:33:00.000-08:00

try to finish before 2010!

happy halloween

2009-10-31T20:17:00.000-07:00

where are you?

2009-10-29T08:05:00.000-07:00

there are basically three stages to following christ.

[1] believer
-in order to believe in jesus, you must first realize you need him, that you need a savior. you must know how broken you are and without him you would die (for the wages of sin is death romans 6:23). i remember feeling that something was missing in my life...and it was jesus. once you realize you need jesus, then you can accept what he did for you. he loved you so much that he died for you and paid the price...so that you could have eternal life.

[2] follower
-after you confess jesus is lord, and believe in your heart god raised him from the dead, then you are saved (romans 10:9)...and the next step is to get to know jesus. you do this by reading his word. god talks to us through his word, and we speak to him through prayer. get involved in a bible study...read the the whole bible...and fellowship with other christians so you can see what it looks like to follow jesus. the more i learn about jesus and how holy he is, the more i am convicted of my sin, and the more grateful i am that he came to save me. walking with jesus is a daily commitment...leaving your burdens at his feet and confessing your sins to him, and living with the confidence that you are saved and loved by the king of kings and the lord or lords.

[3] disciple
-once you are saved and know jesus, he wants us to be so full of his light that we can't help but share it with others. paul said that his life was worth nothing to him unless he was telling others about the gospel of god's grace (acts 20:24).

what's your purpose? why do you think you are here living? are you living for yourself? or are you living for god? where are you in these steps? the most important step is the first because it determines your salvation for eternity.

the bible tells us that this earth is not our home. we are foreigners...sometimes i don't feel like i fit in, but i guess that's a good thing. i can't wait for heaven sometimes. but as long as god still has me here, i hope to live for him. for that is where i find true joy. everything is meaningless...like chasing after the wind (ecclesiates 1:14)

we're closed!

2009-10-25T04:52:00.000-07:00

i was at starbucks on saturday morning (i go every saturday for a couple of hours and have my soy no water tall chai with pumpkin loaf) and i do my bible study, read, journal, etc.

anyway, so this past saturday i went to my starbucks i always go to....
and i walk up to the counter to order...
and he says, 'sorry we have no water and no ability to make coffee today.'

and i pause...
what?! does this mean no tea either?
i'm still processing and repeat what he said. 'no coffee...or tea'

he says, 'nope, nothing that requires water pressure.'

this is terrible! my morning wasn't supposed to go like this.
i'm still in denial as i say, 'that's so sad.'

i ask a couple other questions, like 'is it going to be closed all day?' and 'are the two across the street also closed?' (i'm trying to figure out my day now).

so the ones across the street were open (yay!!...crazy that there are three starbucks in one corner...one is a barnes&noble) so i walk across the street to get my tea BUT they are out of pumpkin loaf.

so i walk back to the 'closed store' and buy my pumpkin loaf there. (you have to get to starbucks early on saturdays...they always sell out of their pumpkin loaf!)

and i sit down to do my bible study in the seeminly quiet empty starbucks.

but people keep coming in.
and they are told what i was told.
and they would say, 'ok' and just walk out.
no pausing. no questions. just pure acceptance!

after the 50th person, i realized that i have a problem. it took me 20 minutes to accept my change in plans. i think i went through those steps of grief...what are they?! ...denial, bargaining, etc...haha.

seriously though, i realized that i don't accept change very well. and i don't like it when my plans change. i kinda admired all the people that acted like this was no big deal.

maybe god is trying to show me something to work on...

what kind of eggs do you like?

2009-10-23T09:29:00.000-07:00

i love the movie 'runaway bride'...julia robert's character doesn't know herself completely and therefore just goes along with whatever activities (and food) the guy she is with likes.

i feel like i am figuring out what i like so that if a guy does come along one day i'll know what I want to do and i won't lose myself!

anyway so in the movie she doesn't know what kind of eggs she likes...i'm still trying to figure out if i like eggs because i'm lactose intolerant and most of the time people cook eggs with milk or cream. but my dad makes scrambled eggs with soy milk and i never get sick from them. they are yummy!!

well, i was talking to a friend of mine (she's in her late 30s) and she was asking me where her man was and then mentioned that she is still trying to learn what she likes, etc.

and i said, 'you need to figure out what kind of eggs you like before getting married.'

and she said... 'honey, my eggs are shriveling up!'

that made me laugh...

faith like mary

2009-10-16T20:35:00.000-07:00

i am studying john in my bible study and i read the story in john 2 about jesus' first miracle, turning the water into wine at the wedding at cana...

side note...the bible doesn't prohibit drinking alcohol (jesus drank wine and also never sinned) but the bible doesn't condone getting drunk. i choose not to drink because i don't like alcohol, but if i did, i can see how refraining from drinking it in front of others before you know where they are in their relationship with jesus could be considerate. and the bible DOES tell us to not cause someone to stumble. 1 cor 10:23

so anyway, mary, his mother, comes to him and tells him they have run out of wine. and jesus tells her it is not his time. but she says to the servants, 'do whatever he tells you.'

i was thinking about how she took her concern to jesus. and knew he could solve it. she wasn't complaining to him or wondering what could be done about it...she knew he had the power to fix it!

in contrast, when jesus fed the 4,000 people, the disciples did not show the same kind of faith. whey they realized how big the crowd was, they asked jesus how they were going to find enough food to feed them all. they brought their problem to jesus without really showing they knew and expected he would take care of it.

i hope to be more like mary.
when i bring a concern or a request to god,
i want to TRUST his plan.
and to KNOW how big he is.
and LISTEN to him.
and i want to 'do whatever he tells me!'

wherever you are, be all there...

2009-10-04T07:21:00.001-07:00

i forget who said this, but i like it. it's hard to do though. it means not obsessing over past mistakes, and not worrying about what is going to happen in the future. i recently saw this concept applied in my life.

i have started up playing tennis again and have been frustrated because i never win. seriously...i'll play someone who has less skills than i do... and still lose! and know it was partially in my mind.

i even listened to eye of the tiger last time before i played. i was trying to visualize the goal. but i still lost.

so i called my dad...and told him my saga. and he said 'kim, you are using the wrong sports psychology. tennis is a game of precision and focus. you have to play as if all previous and future points don't exist. and you have to not care. focus on the point you are playing and just focus on winning that point. if you lose the point, move on. don't think about it again. if you win the point...don't think about it again.'

well.....i tried it. and it worked!! i won! i couldn't believe it! it got harder to focus towards the end of the match, plus my exercise-induced asthma kicked in and that made me slower. but i still won!

as i was thanking god for this sweet victory, (that was less about 'winning' and more of a victory in my mind that i CAN win), he showed me that i need to use this concept in my daily walk. and we can do that by trusting him. we can't worry about the past or stress about the future...he's in control of that. just live today. one day at a time. live for him.

matthew 6:34 don't worry about tomorrow will worry about itself. each day has enough trouble of its own.

kansas city memories

2009-10-02T20:29:00.000-07:00

here are some things that still make me smile as i reflect on my fun trip to kansas city this past weekend to visit lauri and her two girls...

*playing with ella at the park

-ella encouraging me to do a back flip 'you can do it kim, you can' i think it really helped me!

-ella telling her 'friends about her halloween socks 'my socks have let-turs on them.' so cute!

-after climbing down from the large monkey gym, lauri saying to me, 'you know, it has never crossed my mind to climb that...never!'

*ella's potty training day

-since i'm from the outside, i think i can tell lauri an idea about how to help ella get potty trained. i think, so just put her in panties instead of the pull up, and that way eventually she'll start going the potty...right?!

-so i'm watching the girls saturday morning while lauri and rob are at work and on call, and i chose to put ella in her panties. we start off in her cute blue shorts. oops...forgot to remind her to go potty before going to the park.

-so worries, i find some cute jean shorts that actually go better with the outfit. so lauri comes home and then the girls go down for a nap. i actually napped too! so we wake up to ella at her door. i open it and she says, 'the peepee went on the floor.' hmmmm...it went on the floor because of the poopoo in the diaper had filled it up. so i clean her up (yes i love her very much!)

-so i then ella is wearing the khaki shorts, which look really cute too, by the way. but i looked at lauri and said, 'i think we should put her in a pull up this time. lauri just smiled. guess ella will do it when she's ready. and not a day sooner! (lauri even got her a toy and she walks by it and says, 'that's my toy...i get to open in when i put the poopoo in the potty')

*samantha...

-samantha is always giggling...and it makes you smile. she's such a happy baby

-she was crying and when we asked ella why (they were playing) ella told us 'i put pitas in time out.' ella shortened samantha's name to 'mantas' and then to 'pitas'...it's really cute but confuses other people when we call her pitas too.

-samantha said her first sentence while i was there...she had buckled herself and said clear as day, 'i did it!' made her seem a lot older.

guess i had better finish that cross-stitch soon...lauri is pregnant and due in april with her 3rd baby. i think she's going to have another girl. we will see soon enough!! i miss you girls already!!!

rest of moses' highlights...

2009-09-30T08:36:00.000-07:00

i'm in joshua now, but here are some things i liked so far since i talked about genesis...

exodus:

exodus 12 is the passover and exodus 17 is where moses makes water from the rock. both prophesy of jesus. the passover because the blood saved them, just like jesus' blood saves us. and the water from the rock, because john 4:10 says that from jesus comes living water.

leviticus:

lev 15:33 says 'and of her that is sick of her flowers' which i had to look up what it meant...menstual period. i'm sick of my flowers sometimes too. (but i love the other kind of flowers...most all the time).

numbers:

i like numbers 15:39-41...may we always remember where the lord has brought us. just this month i was remember how god sold my house 3 years ago on sept 13. what a miracle that was. what egypt has god brought you out of?

deuteronomy:

god has been teaching me a lot about rest lately. deut 12:10 ...and when he giveth you rest from all your enemies round about, so that ye dwell in safety. i'm still listening and still learning...but god gives us rest! the enemy seeks to steal, kill and destroy, but jesus gives us life (john 10:10). and in deut 20:4 it says 'for the LORD yoru god is he that goeth with you, to fight for you against your enemies, to save you.'

before leaving town...

2009-09-25T09:13:00.000-07:00

drop sunny off at denise's house....check

pack henry's food and some toys for buscuit's house....check

take out trash...check

water plants...(wait they are almost dead anyway...plan to buy new plants when i get back!)

pack for kansas city...check (only 2 carryons this time...i packed light!)

go by target to get a 'surprise' for ella and samantha...check (i got them these cute purses and filled them with lots of cute things like halloween socks, stickers, stuffed animals, etc)

print boarding pass....check (i got this awesome seat...1A, usually reserved for special flyers but it let me have it! sweet!)

stress about what i must be forgetting...chhh- well not yet, but it's only 2 days to i'm sure i live without whatever it is for that long!

tennis lesson

2009-09-23T21:15:00.000-07:00

i had another lesson this past week and am getting ready to play this fall!

as i was walking out with my coach, he told me that if you can return the ball 6 times, you have a 90% chance of winning the point. i thought that was interesting...all i have to focus on is getting the ball back.

so then i asked him if i has a counter-puncher as opposed to a power player. he just laughed. apparently i'm not good enough to define if i have a stradegy.

he did recommend doing some free weights to increase my arm stregth. not a bad idea...

lazy lake house weekend...

2009-09-21T19:24:00.000-07:00

the night before lindsey came over and spent the night and we had tea and sang to songs!

henry enjoying the wind!

hanging out on the boat.

being silly in the lake!

there were 5 dogs there that weekend (sarah has max and my dad has abby, jack, and dixie!)

dixie has her own life jacket!

beautiful sunset. life seems a lot simpler out here.

sarah's boys resting on the couch :)

ahhhh...take me back!

it's been a while since labor day, but these were some pics from the fun, relaxing weekend...

more on relationships...

2009-09-19T20:34:00.000-07:00

in answer to your question lauri...

there are three stages of relationships, according to the imago training:

[1] romantic love-
this stage is attraction, infatuation
we see what we want to see
we don't feel pain
we can stay up all hours of the night and not be tired
we feel empowered
like a physical and emotional high (can feel like a drug)
attraction doesn't mean compatibility
it's supposed to end (typically last 9 months)

[2] the power struggle- (kicks in about 12 months)
conflict is growth trying to happen
the 'break up' or the 'break through'
developing trust
you respect differences and realize you both don't necesarily always think the same
when opinions are different
it's supposed to end

[3] reality love or the conscious marriage-
a decision, a commitment, intenional
healthy excitement and passion
don't have to defend yourself all the time
joy comes from supporting each other
based on intimacy
close your 'exits'
should add to your life, should not be too hard
it's not supposed to end

what i learned...

2009-09-13T11:04:00.000-07:00

i went to a relationship seminar a month ago by a licensed marriage counselor and really appreciated some of the things the speaker said...

*don't write lists of pros and cons when you like someone. instead come up with where you want to be in 6 mo, 1 year, and in 5 years (and be specific!) what are your passions? that way when you meet someone, you can just see if they match up to what you want to do. this was really brilliant to me, since it's so important not to lose yourself in relationships and this way you figure out what you want first.

*when talking in relationships, work on listening. a good way to show someone you are listening and you understand is to repeat what they are saying back to them. kinda how the waiter repeats your order back to you. it reassures you that they know what you said and are listening. i need to work on this one...

*guys don't have to talk to spend time with you. i learned this by going to the astros game with my brother. we didn't talk but we got to hang out. girls on the other hand looooove to talk. and we feel better after we let it all out.

*sometimes we choose familiar, not functional.

*people who want approval don't get it. people who don't need it, get it.

*the first stage of a relationship is infatuation. this doesn't necessarily mean compatibility. it usually lasts 9 months. the second stage is power struggle, and the third is reality.

*relationship are more like gardens than banks. you can't just put the money in and watch it grow. it takes work and nurturing to keep it up and to keep it growing.

*you can't use relationships to make you feel good. relationships should add to your life. you shouldn't have to defend yourself all the time. joy comes from supporting each other...and really enjoying each other.

*four predictors of divorce: criticism, defensiveness, withdrawal, and contempt

*ask a question back to someone instead of getting defensive. it works!

*you don't have to be 'fixed' to be in a relationship...just need to be on the right path towards healing.

*healthy love allows for individually, brings out the best qualities in both partners, invites growth, accepts limitations of self and partner, has high self-esteem and sense of well-being.

*ask yourself...
do i respect this person? does this person respect me?
can we communicate?
do we compromise? is there give and take?
can i be honest and show my real feelings?
can we both take responsibility for the relationship's successes and problems?
is there room for me to grow and change?
am i able to reach my own goals?
is this person supportive of the kind of changes i am trying to make?
is this person willing to help me?

dog meets bird

2009-09-11T20:04:00.000-07:00

my friend needed a home for her bird...and i thought, henry will love it and maybe entertain him some during the day. well, maybe birds and dogs don't really get along very well, but i thought for sure henry would be the one intimidating the bird.

but.....after 48 hours of henry shaking all the time, he finally is now relaxed around sunny. i really like her, and think it's funny how jealous henry is when i go to her cage and feed her or talk to her. he licks my feet and then runs to his bed and looks at me like 'look what a good boy i am.' it's so funny...

so will they be friends...or will sunny drive henry crazy? we will see....

believe!

2009-09-09T18:50:00.000-07:00

recently i have been watching the us open...and watching in particular this player melanie oudin. i saw her in a press conference, after beating her 4th russian ranked player, and sometime she said stuck with me (yes i am learning from a 17 year old, but hey!)

she said she believed she could win and she did. she kept winning. i realized that i don't think i can win. i went into every tennis match just hoping to win a game and was sooo excited to win a set. but never expected to win a match. i think i was afraid to win. that might sound silly, but i am starting to see the competitive mental game that is played out in tennis....

and not just in tennis, but in the world. you have to believe you can get somewhere or do something before you can do it. i know i've heard this before, but it really stuck because i can relate to tennis. it all starts in our minds! negative thoughts DO affect us and bring us down...and our thoughts become our actions. and you have to want it...badly enough.

so i'm going to start believing i can win this next season in tennis...and i am going to start believing i can be a better doctor. a better friend. a better servant for god's kingdom. believe!

thanks melanie!

i'm 34!!!

2009-08-26T20:38:00.000-07:00

last saturday i celebrated my birthday...what a fun day!

i had the best bday ever! :) my day started with sleeping in. i love my saturdays when i can sleep in! henry was so good and we just hung out...i read my bible...got dressed...etc.

julie picked me up to go to tiny boxwoods for lunch. i love that place. the cutest atmosphere and the BEST BEST food! and she brought the most gorgeous flowers! i LOVE hydrangeas! (she didn't know they were my favorite flower but they are...so cool!!)

so many of my friends were able to come and it made it tons of fun! and two of my sisters were there too! and my aunt came all the way from conroe. we have celebrating TEN birthdays in houston together. she's never missed a year...she's taken me out for my birthday since i moved to houston in august 1999...i was 24!!! can't wait to celebrate 44 with her! :)

then i went to the astros game with my brother mike who was visiting (and my whole sunday school class!). he's 12 years younger than me so we don't get to do a lot together. so this was really special. and i realized i really don't like astros games for more than an hour...there is nothing healthy there! i hope obama looks into that with his hcr!

then mike and i finished the night off by going to freebirds. i love their all white meat chicken tacos! ahhh...i finally got food. i was so hungry at the game! mike leaves today for the mtc for his mission for the mormon church. i'm going to miss him!! but i'll be sending him his glasses and contacts soon...he picked out some really cool frames. i love you mike!!

oh and everyone sang to me at lunch and at the game. i didn't blow out any candles or eat any birthday cake, but it's for sure one of my favorite birthdays so far...

tsk tsk tsk...

2009-08-25T20:07:00.001-07:00

okay, tell me if i'm being too harsh and need to loosen up a little...

i went to a continuing education course the other night (which was awesome, by the way. it was on retinal problems and was so interesting -many times they are quite boring)....anyway, the girl sitting next to me, well, let's just say she i don't think she knows about emily post.

i started counting...it was one ettiquette fopaux after the next...

she never took her napkin out of the coffee mug and put it in her lap! shocker!

when eating her chicken, she picked up the small piece left on her plate and ate it...WITH HER HANDS! of course here i was watching closely, knowing she now would for sure look for her napkin to wipe her hand. but NO! she wiped her fingers either on her jeans or the chair (i couldn't tell which)...

when the nasty apply pie came (the whole meal was lacking in taste...but hey, it's the hilton at uh...what should i expect, right?!) she used the spoon by the coffee mug instead of the dessert fork! ahhhhhh!!!!

as i was turning my coffee mug over to signal i didn't want any, i was so hoping someone would come and try to offer her coffee...so she would finally see her napkin!

someone told me i was type a today. i wasn't sure he was right...but after this episode i was thinking the label was probably 99.999% correct. ;)

goodbye summertime

2009-08-21T18:10:00.000-07:00

i was reflecting on this past summer and on how much god has done in my life.

one thing was that god put it on my heart to start a womens bible study this summer and to do the book 'lies women believe.' at first i was excited to do something for him and serve him, but i remember one day talking to god and telling him i just didn't have the strength to do this bible study. i was worn down and felt like i didn't have anything to give. how was i supposed to host the bible study AND lead it?! and then god told me, 'kim, i want you to organize it...not do everything.' oh ok god! why am i used to doing everything?!

so i prayed about which girls to invite and then sent out the email. 5 girls committed to the group! one girl offered to host and another one offered to lead. so fabulous! we started meeting and i realized that i was getting so much out of the study and from the fellowship of the other girls. we were really praying for each other and getting deep in our relationship with the lord. i remember about two weeks into the study, i was at the galleria and just feeling so full. i wasn't tired or worn down...and i realized how much this small group was a part of that. and i realized that god wanted me to form this group for ME. he knew i would need the support.

and i just smiled. there god goes again, blessing me when i don't expect it. i'm so used to doing things and serving, that sometimes i forget it's okay to receive. and i have to receive in order to be able to keep giving. if i am not being poured into by god and other believers, how can my cup runneth over so i can share what i have with others? i'm so glad i trusted god and went ahead with organizing the summer small group. i was feeling overwhelmed, but god had plans different than what i could see.

sometimes it can look too hard for us. or maybe god is telling us something we don't quite understand. we don't have to know how it will all work out. he knows...all we have to do is trust him and follow him.

this is one of my favorite verses because it reminds me that god wants us to have rest. he doesn't want us to keep going and going and not be 'refueled'...

come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and i will give you REST. (matthew 11:28)

the new gentle lead headcollar...

2009-08-15T18:16:00.000-07:00

henry did not like it the first time i put it on... (isn't he good at looking so sad!?)

he ignored me and wouldn't look at me even though i was holding one of his favorite treats!

then i found him pouting in the corner

and then he did something he had never done before...he put his face in his toy basket and kept it there for like 5 minutes! drama drama drama!

i'm trying to hold strong...here are some of the other things the trainer said to do at the 'behavior agression' private lesson:

-henry can no longer sleep in my bed (confuses him who is 'alpha'...i'm sad about this)

-henry cannot sit in my lap unless he's invited! (i thought it was cute when he would come sit in my lap...the problem of the small cute dog...)

-i can only put his food in front of him once a day for 20 minutes. he eats or he doesn't...(henry's a grazer right now and eats when he pleases)

-henry has to be in his crate in the backseat or a carseat when riding in the car (for safety for both of us)
-every time he pulls on the leash (which is a TON less with the new collar) he has to sit and look at me, and i have to give him a treat to reinforce it. this is going to be time consuming!

hopefully this will help henry and his anxiety/agression/alpha-seeker problems. two people recently told me they think henry has ADD...i guess i'll tackle one problem at a time!

the world says we don't have enough...christ says we are enough in him.

2009-08-14T20:37:00.000-07:00

why do we always want something? something someone else has...or something we think we deserve?!

like marriage...i have many single friends who desire to be married. and it's a good desire. god loves marriage, but i'm saddened that they wait for this magical thing in their life that they think will take away that awful feeling that 'something is missing' in their life.

like kids...i have a friend who is in her 40s and realizing that she probably will never have children of her own. she is struggling with feelings of emptiness. she feels like she is missing something...something she was supposed to do and experience. does she still have purpose?

or more children...i have another friend who has a child but desires more children. she keeps miscarrying and is so depressed that she cannot have any more children.

anytime we hold onto what WE want more than trusting what god wants for us, it will cause us much frustration. i'm okay with not getting married or having kids or with anything because i don't trust what i want! i've been there...and i know now i really have no idea what i want.

but i know god has plans for my life. he knows what is best for me and i trust him. he has plans for a hope and a future (jer 29:11). he is the only person or thing in my life who can satisfy me completely (john 10:10). satan lies to us and tells us we won't be happy or satisfied until we get that one thing we have to have to be happy(...and just like eve, we believe him). but it's life without GOD that makes us empty!!

it doesn't matter where you are in your life, you can feel like you want more or that something is missing. ask god to satisfy you because he is the only thing that truly can satisfy us. there is so much freedom in enjoying what god has already blessed you with.

our joy comes from HIM...not our circumstances!

someday i'll be in his glory!

2009-08-13T20:25:00.000-07:00

an 89 year old patient came into the office a couple of months ago.

she was a pleasant lady, and i honestly don't remember anything about her eyes, but i do remember what she said when she was leaving.

as i was walking her to the front desk, with her arm in mine so i could help steady her, i said 'we will see you in a year then'

and she said, 'alright, or maybe i'll be in his glory!'

she said it with such joy and confidence.

she was so looking forward to being with the lord again soon.

i think back to her sometimes when i am down about something going on in my life, and i'm reminded that our present sufferings will not compare to the joy we will have in heaven.

and i smile...and i realize i don't have to wait until i'm 89 to be excited about returning to the lord someday.

so i'll enjoy every day here, until someday i can be in his glory!

romans 8:18
i consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.