Its all so sugarless

2009-08-04T13:22:00.000-07:00

'How does one love so much blankness?'

So far 2009 has been the best litteracy year since forever.

I thank you, you pretty books of mine.

2009-07-27T20:33:00.000-07:00

'C'est quand on ne peut plus le faire que cela devient dangereux. Alors les émotions s'accumulent à l'intérieur du corps et se durcissent. Toutes sortes de sentiments se figent et meurent à l'intérieur du corps. Et c'est terrible.'

2009-04-06T15:55:00.000-07:00

Elizabeth Bennet: I couldn't sleep.
Mr. Darcy: Nor I. My aunt--Elizabeth Bennet: Yes, she was here.Mr. Darcy: How can I ever make amends for such behiavor?
Elizabeth: After what you have done for Lydia, and I suspect for Jane also, it is I who should be making amends.
Mr. Darcy: You must know, surely you must know, it was all for you. You are to generous to trifle with me. I believe you spoke with my aunt last night and it has taught me to hope as i had scarcly allowed myself before. If your feelings are still what they were last April, tell me so at once. My affections and wishes have not changed, but one word from you will silence me forever. If, however, your feelings had changed, I would have to tell you, you have bewitched me body and soul and I
love...I love... I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on.
Elizabeth Bennet: Well then... [takes Mr. Darcy's hands and kisses them] Your hands are cold.
Mr. Darcy: [nods]

2009-03-18T17:55:00.000-07:00

This is the book im reading right now, and it's everything i ever wanted to feel while reading a book. It's so good and delicious that i want to live inside it. The perfection of this book makes me see all the imperfections, flaws and wrongs of myself, my life, my body, my thoughts. Suddenly im terribly depressed and the only thing that makes me feel anything good is this book.

It's evil.

But it's oh so good. Probably the best book i'll read in 2009.
<3

And although it seems so silly to say this out of no where. But rip Natasha Richardson.

2009-02-19T21:06:00.000-08:00

Oh how dreams are weird. Two nights ago i had a dream about fucking with Kevin Spacey and it was so good. That was a quality dream, with a real plot. Kinda like a soft porn movie but with hardcore fucking. I used to daydream and be in love with him when The negociator came out. I thought he was the dreamiest-most-perfect-man ever. So this was really lovely.

Then last night i dreamed that i was raped multiple times. Also there was a real plot. And in it, i wouldnt tell anyone who it was, but only giving hints, while still being around the man. Then at the very end of it, i was telling everyone who it was and what happened, and nobody would beleive me.

So yeah, overall very shocking.

2009-02-15T12:08:00.001-08:00

I just realized that the last time i wrote here was hours before i got sick. So sick i had things coming out of my body in 3 different holes at the very same time. And then i did the hospital thing and everything got better...-NOT.

So i got a job! A steady job! It's not with babies and doesnt involved changing diapers, and thats fucking too bad because i miss it. Im just tired...school is kicking my ass, work is kicking my ass, im kicking my own ass too. My doctor decided to reduced the amount of sleeping medication i take- which makes me go to bed at 3 am.... I can't see my boyfriend because he works, and i work, and i go to class.

Classes...now i realized that im stuck with the same people. Because its a program, i will see the very same people for another 10 months....which fucking sucks. Because... because...theres some people that are basically tracking my moves in class. Oh she's late! Oh she's didnt come to class- again! Oh what a needy bitch! She's always tired! Well well well whatever. I dont know if its because im too nice or because i usually dont care about other people but FUCK ME, i don't care if people come to class, if they're late, if they email teachers etc etc. It's college, you pay and everything else is your own business. URGH.

Anyways, i think some people are retarded.

2009-01-03T07:42:00.000-08:00

It's almost terrible how reading about something interesting makes me happy to be alive in this world. I want to be surrended by books and magazines and internets and pretty useless things that are lovely to look at. I want to have cats and take care of them as they would take care of me. I want to have a job that doesnt kill my spirit and earns me money. I want to have more money so i can buy all these material things that are not-so-material at the end. I want to gain independance, slowly but surely from my parents. Cos one day i want to have my own place where i'll put my own things, all these lovely things to look at. I want to take care of my insides so that my outside looks better so that i love better my bf. I don't want to change the world, i just want my world to be better. This is a good feeling, im trying, im hoping. My personal doom mixed with hope.

2008-12-31T01:15:00.000-08:00

i can't sleep

my head is buzzing

2008-12-29T20:54:00.000-08:00

I've noticed that my friends are putting 2008's lists. What was good, what was bad, what was terribleee. And theyre making more list for 2009. What they want, what they hope, what they need.

I thought about this for 3 minutes, because ive been doing everything in the last few days to no thing about this at all.

All i can say is that 2008 was the first year in over 5 years where i had not one single session with my therapist. 2008 was the year where i lost my dearest most precious job and face financial insecurities on my own. That was so hard, mentally it is so hard. 2008 was the year where i studied something that is going to get me a real job. That was good.

5 months were a blur with working and studying and not seeing my bf a lot. I remember 3 months of hardcore study for my homosexuality paper. I remember a lot of rain...i remember mini breakdowns. But i remember some good times too.

It was a year of transition i guess.

For 2009...i wish myself good grades. I want to kick serious ass at school. I wanna keep working for Renaud-Bray cos i like it and i like the 30% off. I want to breathe better, i want to stop having this sick feeling in my stomach i get so many times. And i dont want to be scared anymore. Cos im still am all the time.

2008-12-28T21:53:00.000-08:00

The best of 2008<3

Movies
Burn after reading; Mama mia!; The bank Job; Iron Man; Wanted; Happy go lucky; Vicky Cristina Barcelona; WALL-E; The Dark Knight; Doubt; The reader; Twilight

Television
OZ; Dexter; Top Chef; Project runaway; Damages; Mad Men; My so-called life; Witch Hunter Robin

Books
The post-birthday world by Lionel Shriver; The unabridged journals of Sylvia Plath; The absitence teacher by Tom Perrotta; Blindness by Jose Saramago; Queen of fashion by Caroline Werber; Twilight by Stephanie Meyer; A song of ice and fire saga by George R.R. Martin

Comics
Kabuki; Fables

Music
Santogold; Goldfrapp; Kings of Leon; Wilco; Queen; Rufus Wainwright; Mylene Farmer; David Bowie; Les Chansons d'amours soundtrack; Sia, Radiohead, Kayne West; Dido; Radiohead; Lady Gaga; Katy Perry, Wolfsheim, Muse

People
Tim Gunn; Freddy Mercury; Robert Pattisson; Nicole Kidman; Claire Danes; Michelle Obama, The new president of the United-States; Karl Lagerfeld; Vanessa Paradis; Brian Molko; Philip SH.; Girls Aloud; Tina Fey; Robert Downey Jr

2008-11-28T20:40:00.000-08:00

I saw twilight for free on the internets. And i must say i was surprised because it didnt sucked.

Yes it's still cheesy but that's really the beauty of the book. They really toned down the 'fanfiction' side of Twilight. And they took actors who are not 'plastic beauties'. The vampire guy, can look almost ugly from a certain angle, and the girl can look like a lesbian but still they are both gorgeous to look at. Because let's face it, this movie is all apparences. It's not deep, it's not remotly close to our reality. There's no hidden messages.

It's only about a really really good looking young, vergetarian and virgin vampire. A virgin because he still beleives likes he's in the late 1800s. Veggie, cos he doesnt want to be a monster, so he only drinks animal blood. And get this: he fucking glitters and sparkles when its sunny.

So its laughable, but the movie somehow made it work.

i give Twilight: B

2008-11-15T08:56:00.000-08:00

Bah, im tired.
But im making money. Not a lot but just enough to consummate material things again.
Im listening to Michelle Obama right now, and i love her. She's so articulate and awesome and Obama gets to f*** her like everynight. This is lovely.

One month worth of school to go and this semester is over. I never had that many A+ so it's going well. I also had a C-. That i never had in my entire university life.

For Christmas, i want Marie-Antoinette, Karl Lagerfeld, Madonna, a kitty, hello kitty and dvds. That's my list.

2008-11-04T15:06:00.000-08:00

Dear Americans,

Don't let the world down, don't let ignorance, hate and religion win again.

Vote Obama-Biden. Please.

pretty please.

Audrey

2008-10-23T16:44:00.000-07:00

Morrissey is planning to begin work on his autobiography, he has revealed.

(...)

During the interview Morrissey was also drawn to comment on new album "Year of Refusal"."It's fantastically strong. It's very, very strong and it's interesting for me after all these years, but it's the strongest," he said.The new album is expected to arrive in February 2009.

YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYES

I love you Steven Patrick Morrissey <3

2008-10-21T15:40:00.000-07:00

I am so excited for this one. My love for Vanessa Paradis came out of nowhere but i can't help finding her pictures flawless. She's just so fascinating.

Hum i haven't updated a lot...i guess it's because of school which is ok. Today though was really gorgeous, with this really dark grey sky and light rain. And for the first time in forever i didnt felt the need to suppress the outside noise with headphones. The sound of today was perfect. Almost symetric, i know this sound like bullshit but everything about today was fine. It was far from perfect and happy but it was just flowing without stressed or worries or little red lights back in the head. Lovely feeling to feel ok and at peace for once.

btw OBAMA-BIDEN 08 !!!<3!!!

I can't help it. but the McCain/Palin ticket is aware that they simply cannot win in terms of policy so have resorted to a campaign of fear and racism, planting seeds of hate in some very fertile ignorant American minds. Words like "terrorist," "Muslim," and "Communist" are thrown around without warrant in an attempt to paint Obama as someone who cannot be trusted, which is not a very difficult thing for some Americans considering America's racial history.

AND Sarah Palin thinks that dinosaurs and humans coexisted.

Republicans annoys me beyond words. And i can't to feel sad for that guy i know who pretty innocently told me that he had no idea who was Palin, Joe Biden, Obama etc. We live in a world where theres internet and you dont know whos for running for presidency in the USA?

Republicans annoys me, closed minded people annoys me. Urgh. But theres Vanessa Paradis who brings back the pretty so i guess things will be fine.

2008-10-15T11:02:00.000-07:00

Madonna and Guy Richie are getting a divorce!!!

Why am i even updating because of this...???

Im pretty lame, but this can only remind me that i never saw her live. And that i must see her next time she tours. She's 50 now...hopefully she'll keep touring till she's 60.

2008-10-06T22:33:00.000-07:00

bombs are louder than words

2008-09-27T19:48:00.000-07:00

I watched some of the presidential debate. If the republicans wins...i can't even bring myself to think about it. I want to understand though, i want valid answers: how can someone approve of McCain and Palin. How can someone can take seriously McCain after nominating Palin. How how who what?

I live in Canada, the USA are right under me, and it may scares me very soon.

2008-09-20T18:07:00.000-07:00

lol @ at my pictures choices.

I did my best Young Black Independant woman act last night and stopped working after an hour at my new job. It was a joke; the people were creepy, odd and desesperate. Which im not. I refuse to give a part of my spirit for 9 $ an hour. I prefer to be broke and go to my classes and study to get a job were i won't feel like a prostitute selling souls on the phone.

Next time you get a phone call in the middle of your dinner, you tell that person to fuck off. Im serious.

I suddenly feel very inspired for school. School is awesome. Don't drop out kids!

I think the new Kings Of Leon cd is the best cd of the year so far. Far far behind is Madonna's Hard Candy. Fuck im still listening to same stuff as i was listening in 2007.

Anyways yay!

2008-09-18T21:02:00.000-07:00

Saying no to a guy who asks you out, makes you feel terrible.
Just terrible. Like i cut off his arm or something.
I wish the male population would never tried to ask me out.
Always, let me do the asking out part. I found out that even though im shy, stressed out, scared, afraid of rejection. I will do it if you interest me. I did it for my last two bfs. And the last one, i hit the absolute jackpot.

Everybody else, go away.

2008-09-11T19:59:00.000-07:00

omg today someone told me that i looked like a semi-autistic musical kind of girl.

hahahahaa omg im still laughing

this is awesome this is so awesome

and i know im not normal to be happy about being called semi-autistic BUT it describe my personal bubble so well.

bahahaha <3

2008-08-26T21:20:00.000-07:00

Je m'ennuis de mon ours . :(

2008-08-18T06:10:00.000-07:00

La mer c'est la même tout le temps

Avec le même vent

J'dis ça, j'suis pas le marin, j'suis pas le vent

Je connais des poissons contents

Ils ont l'air content

Mais qu'est-ce que j'pourrais bien faire dedans

Toutes ces choses qui m'viennent

Toutes ces choses qui m'quittent

Ces choses qui m'reviennent

Ces choses qui m're-quittent

Faudrait qu'ça m'revienne avant qu'ça m'passe vite

Junior Suite

L'amour, on compare ça souvent à un océan

J'dis ça, j'suis pas le bateau, j'suis pas d'dans

J'ai quelques amis navigants

Ils sont navigants

Moi j'ai déjà tellement d'eau qui fout le camp

Toutes ces choses qui m'viennent

Toutes ces choses qui m'quittent

Ces choses qui m'reviennent

Ces choses qui m're-quittent

Faudrait qu'ça m'reprenne avant qu'ça m'passe vite

Junior Suite

2008-08-15T21:33:00.000-07:00

V for vendetta is such a romantic movie <3

2008-08-10T11:37:00.000-07:00

Im doing much much better. For all you folks that feel a little on the cuckkoo side sometimes, i think the best thing for you (and for me as well) is to have several conversations with someone who's truely out of his-her mind. Someone who took too many drugs in this life to see the difference between black and white.

Of course, don't do this just for the fun of it, cos it's not fun. It's rather sad and pathetic and scary but after a moment you feel this sanity bliss going through your whole mind and body and soul.

And then you feel rather proud of yourself cosyou could have end up like this person. Insanity is never far away from us, in a blink of a second you can turn your life upside down. But you made it, you're after all- pretty normal.

I put a Morrissey icon just cos he's pretty. And this blog needs more pretty. I love Morrissey, i think my next blog entry should be about my love for Morrissey.

Indeed.