America the UnAmerican: The Op-Ed Strip by Alex de Talkville

2009-04-22T12:14:00.000-07:00

Fidel Castro: Obama 'misinterpreted' Raul's words (AP)--Tropical Medvedev, Siberian Mugabe.

2009-02-05T08:20:00.000-08:00

Obama to create faith-based office (AP)--Well, we’re losing ours in this Bush retread.

Iraqi prime minister is big winner in vote (AP)--Democracy not now.

Chemical found in human brain causes locusts to swarm (AP)--That explains everything.

2009-01-28T08:55:00.000-08:00

U.S. envoy calls for end to weapons smuggling to Hamas (AP)--How about the U.S. putting an end to the overt supply of Apache helicopters, fighter planes, drones, missiles, miscellaneous weaponry and white phosphorus that Israel uses on civilian targets in Gaza? Or is this just tunnel vision?

Livni vs. Livni: Tzipi's Brother Campaigns for Netanyahu (IsraeliNationalNews.com)--The more militant brother of Israeli Foreign Minister Tzipi Livni prefers the hawk to the falcon.

Historical Footnote: During the British Mandate in Palestine, the Livnis' father Eitan Livni was chief operations officer for Irgun, the Jewish militant organization that was responsible for Hamas-type terrorist activities against civilians including the bombing of the King David Hotel in Jerusalem in 1946 and the Yassin Massacre in 1948. Irgun was described as a “terrorist organization” by the likes of the New York Times, BBC, Times of London, the Anglo-American Committee of Enquiry, and prominent world and Jewish figures such as Winston Churchill, Albert Einstein, and Hannah Arendt. In 1946, the World Zionist Congress condemned their “shedding of innocent blood as a means of political warfare.” You won’t find any of this mentioned in Tzipi’s official bio on the Knesset’s website. History, too, has become ghettoized. What's the difference between Hamas today and Irgun back then? Apart from the camouflage of propaganda, who can claim the moral superiority of Israel's Irgun that led to the formation of the state of Israel over a terror group like Hamas? Genocide is genocide is genocide. Get a life.

2009-01-27T08:14:00.000-08:00

Gates: Afghan war is America's 'greatest military challenge' (AP)--Obama’s Vietnam and Achilles heel. There is no military solution.

9 out of 10 execs at banks that received bailout still on job (AP)--Send them to work as cashiers in some bank in Kabul.

Verizon’s Earnings Rose 15% in Quarter (NYT)--Warrantless wire-tapping pays handsome dividends, especially their Family Plan package. That's the telecom industrial complex for you.

2009-01-20T07:22:00.000-08:00

For Obama, policy changes will come in First 100 Minutes (AP)--Make us proud again.

UN Secty. Gen. Ban-ki Moon 'appalled' by Gaza's damage (BBC World)--It’s official: The world’s first kosher Holocaust.

Obama on service: 'Everyone's got to be involved' (AP)--Olmert to change his name to Olmertbama.

2009-01-16T10:44:00.000-08:00

Israeli forces shell UN headquarters in Gaza: "A grave mistake” (AP)--You can bet your bottom shekel it was no mistake. It was a clear-cut message to UN Secty. Gen. Ban Ki-moon. “We’re tougher than the North Koreans, you wog.”

Israeli air strikes destroy thousands of pounds of food for refugees (AP)--So take that! And have a cluster bomb of bagels while you’re at it.

Experts: Airplane crashes more survivable now (AP)--Coming soon: You can walk away before the damn plane crashes.

2009-01-14T14:17:00.000-08:00

Bush holds last Cabinet meeting, leaving with 'head held high' (AP)--Says the Headless Hearseman.

In Israel, Joe the Plumber says media shouldn't report war (AP)--They should concentrate on him instead.

Europe baffled by broken gas promises; Russia accuses USA of meddling (FT.com)--Call Joe.

2009-01-09T10:32:00.000-08:00

Gaza: Help plug leakers of army secrets, Israelis urged (Reuters)--Just Google “war crimes.”

Gaza Children Found With Mothers’ Corpses (NYT)--“Mamma Mia!” opens off-Gaza.

Israel rebuffs UN resolution, pursues Gaza war (Reuters)--They must be going by Bernie Madoff’s playbook, ignoring Sun-Tzu. “War as a giant Ponzi scheme.”

2009-01-06T11:52:00.000-08:00

Israeli Strike Hits Refugees Near a U.N. School in Gaza (NYT)--It’s official: “The Shoah must go on.”

Israel Puts Media Clamp on Gaza (NYT)--On both titties.

Tony Blair honored for war on terror in George Bush’s swansong (Times Online)--Sit! Fetch! Defuse!

2009-01-05T11:24:00.000-08:00

Madoff Investor’s Suicide was an ‘Act of Honor,’ Brother Says (Bloomberg)--Commits ‘money-kiri.’

Waterford Wedgwood, maker of crystal and china, collapses (AP)--To feature new line of tectonic plates.

Blago pick says ‘Lord ordained senate seat’ (Denverpost.com)--God prefers Wedgwood collection plates.

2008-12-29T18:00:00.000-08:00

Hamas fires more rockets despite Israeli strikes (AP)--Repeat of Lebanon? Couldn’t win that one either.

Japanese man leaves Mexico airport after three-month stay (AP)--Home foreclosure evictees take note: Inactivism is the new activism.

Oregon eyes mileage tax using satellite tech (Democrat Herald.com)--Peeping-toms to be taxed next.

2008-12-23T12:30:00.000-08:00

Kennedy declines to make financial disclosure (ITH)--Rush Limbaugh: “Caroline Kennedy had Lee Harvey Oswald’s illegitimate love child!”

Sacred texts: Vatican embraces iTunes prayer book (AP)--"And she’s downloading a stairway to heaven."

Photo captures image of an 'angel' in Charlotte hospital (The State)--Treatment denied due to lack of proper health coverage.

2008-12-17T17:01:00.000-08:00

Bush shoe incident caught Secret Service flatfooted (AP)--First time they ever had to deal with a toerorist.

Bush says he didn't compromise soul to be popular (AP)--He wanted to throw his own shoe back at the reporter but restrained himself.

AG Won't Oversee Madoff Probe (AP)--Anyone notice that his last name is pronounced “made off”? No worries though, the taxpayers will bail out the super-rich who got ripped off by one of their own.

2008-12-13T09:49:00.000-08:00

Skydiver gets tangled on plane, survives 10,000-foot fall (AP)--AdT reads the skytrails & predicts: US economy will manage to land safely on the runway in 2009. Don't fall for the hype about the need for corporate bailout chutes.

After 15 Years, North Carolina Plant Unionizes (NYT)--Finally, Civil War switches to higher gear: North AND South unite against the real foe, corporate slave owners and their plantation managers in Congress.

Bush Says Obama Can't Move Into Blair House Early (AP)--There's room in the back of the bus though, White House supremacists suggest tactfully.

2008-12-07T10:10:00.000-08:00

Pardon the lapse in postings. AdT has been away in Balochistan where he has been instructing local entrepreneurs in developing new industries such as recycling old bikinis into chadors.

Bush wants history to see him as a liberator of millions (AFP)--This turkey will never be pardoned.

Heiress Martha 'Sunny' von Bulow dies after 28 years in coma (AP)--Her own personal review: Two lobes up! It was a great movie!

2008-10-29T22:18:00.000-07:00

Palin faces new ethics complaint over kids' travel (AP)--But hey, they walked on ice water.

Foreclosures force U.S. families to scale back holiday plans (AP)--Homeless turkeys seek GPS oven.

Starbucks' business may have bottomed (Reuters)--The Dregs of Wrath.

2008-10-24T07:10:00.000-07:00

McCain has terse response on Palin shopping spree (AP)--“The clothes will be returned along with Palin and donated to charity.”

“I made a mistake,” admits Greenspan, “Found a Flaw” (FT.com)--One Flaw over the Cuckoo’s Nest.

The new Concorde: Supersonic jet will get you from London to New York in just three hours (Mail Online)--It’s so fast you can jump from the ledge twice, once in London and once in NY.

2008-10-11T17:32:00.000-07:00

McCain Booed After Trying to Calm Crowd (AP)--When you play with ire . . .

Palin defiant after probe jolts McCain campaign: “You have to read the report” (AFP)--She can’t cite a single book or magazine that she reads in CBS Evening News interview. Suddenly she’s got a reading list--for others.

U.S. space tourist set for blast-off from Kazakhstan (Reuters)--Let’s hope the Space Station doesn’t get foreclosed when he steps outside for a space walk.

2008-10-09T08:08:00.000-07:00

Anti-Obama Book Author Held in Kenya (AP)--Croc of talk has dentures removed.

Ready for Some Lingerie Football? (AOL News)--Future Web TV movie about life during the Great Neo-Depression.

Don't Get Turned Away on Election Day (AOL News)--“Dear Ann Landers, Every election day since 2000 . . . What happened to my rights as an American citizen?”

MAILER-DAEMON@moron.com

2008-10-05T10:18:00.000-07:00

Todd Palin Plans Troopergate Interview (AP)--What’s the difference between a Palin and a Putin? One is a Prime Minister and the other is a sub-prime minister.

U.S. urges Japan, NATO to fight in Afghanistan or write a check (AP)--How about a rain check on that?

Top Psychiatrist Didn’t Report Drug Makers’ Pay (NYT)--His defense: "You're all paranoid schizophrenics."

2008-09-30T07:20:00.000-07:00

Bush Urges Congress to Pass Bailout (NYT)--His idea of the Last Supper.

What will happen to the economy if there's no bailout? (Yahoo News)--See below.

Mugabe promises new Zimbabwe government by week's end (AFP)--Sarah Palin to be sworn in as Vice-Witch.

2008-09-26T07:35:00.000-07:00

Israel asked US for green light to bomb nuclear sites in Iran: Bush rejected (timesonline.com)--Bankrupting the U.S. economy proves a much cheaper October surprise.

McCain Leaves Presidential Debate Up in the Air (AP)--Doctors attempt secret brain implant of Google surge engine.

Promoting Vision of Tourist Bliss in Baghdad (NYT)--Casual Beheadings Friday.

2008-09-21T09:17:00.000-07:00

Foreign banks could qualify for U.S. mortgage bailout (AP)--Talking point for Palin re Bush Doctrine: “No bank left behind.”

McCain: The Making Of A Maverick (SF Chronicle)--He mastered the art of Swift Butt kissing?

New Particle Collider to Be Shut Down for Repairs (NYT)--Protons go on strike, won't collide.

2008-09-17T08:21:00.000-07:00

Sarah Palin and the links to a Kenyan witch-hunter (Times Online)--So she’s been to Africa, too.

Prominent Clinton backer and DNC member to endorse McCain (CNN)--That’s rich, a Rothschild calling Obama an “elitist.”

Chinese armchairs linked to eczema outbreak (AFP)--Live prisoners squatting inside who add plushness to upholstery demand at least one shower a week.

2008-09-15T08:13:00.000-07:00

Palin Dad: I taught daughter Sarah to shoot and butcher a moose (Sun)--Presidential material for ‘sho.

Engineer may have been texting before deadly L.A. train wreck (AP)--“I heart Palin . . . ”

Saudi cleric wants death for TV "sorcerers" (Reuters)--Please start with Fox-TV, shukran!