Musings of a Trini in London

The End

2008-07-13T15:34:00.004+01:00

This post, my three hundredth post on this blog will be my last one.

When I first started this blog, I was alone in London. I had no one, no one to talk to and this was my escape - my way to connect with the people I had left behind. And more importantly, it was my place to express the things I was thinking and feeling, a place where I could tell my truth.

Over the last two years, this space has become so much more than what it started as. It has been my coping mechanism, my outlet. It has made me new friends. It has brought me advice from completely neutral parties when I have needed it. It has brought me hope.

Last week something happened in my life, something that I know has changed me fundamentally, something that I know will continue to change me and the way I see the world. I was feeling so many things - confusion, anger, despair, overwhelmed-ness and I tried to express what I was feeling the people who are closest to me, which was a complete waste of time. I felt, alone and there was one place I wanted to come - here.

I am so much clearer here. I make sense here. People finally seem to understand that I am serious when I come here. And then I realised that I could never tell the whole truth here, that because I am not anonymous because people, especially people from Trinidad know who I am, I would have to be careful, that every thing would have to be guarded, that I could not be completely honest. I realised that this place is no longer my refuge, it is no longer my space.

It is a controlled environment, controlled by the readers and not by me. I have to worry about people who will take things the wrong way, people who will misinterpret and misunderstand both intentionally and unintentionally, people who will report the contents to others, people who will get upset, people who will worry, people who will send me messages asking me to take things down, people who will ask me how I could write the things that I write, people who want to dictate to me what my truth is - TOO MANY PEOPLE.

To all of those who have watched my journey and my progress while wishing me well, I have one final wish -
Thank you so much for being here. Best of luck Live long and prosper...

At Long Last ...

2008-07-09T12:06:00.004+01:00

I Have My Ring....

Aint it Beeeeyouuuuuuutifullllllllllllll

Overheard

2008-07-02T17:15:00.002+01:00

I was on the 82 bus heading in to Central London when a group of five (5) young women, looking very professional in their work uniforms with the badges of the hotel chain they worked for prominently displayed entered and sat in the four (4) seats in front of me.

The two (2) furthest forward turned slightly so they were facing the others in order to continue a very loud conversation about their fabulous weekend. Apparently one of them went clubbing over the weekend and got “pissed”, "pulled" *surprise, surprise* and ended up leaving with this “hot German” who was in London for a week.

So they shagged it up *surprise, surprise* and then when she woke up in the morning she was terribly hungover and disoriented, all she could make out was that she was somewhere familiar. So she woke up the German guy and asked him his name (because she forgot) and where they were.

As it turned out they were in a room at the branch of the hotel THAT SHE WORKED AT.

She started to panic. She was worried that what she had done was a “sackable offence”. She wanted to leave with anyone seeing her so she made German dude call the desk and find out who was on shift (and therefore how much trouble she would potentially be in if someone saw) before she showered and left.

So she cleaned up and with the aid of her huge Victoria Beckham shades and a hat she stole from dude she made it out safely, or so she thought…

She came in to work on Monday and all the security guards were pointing at her and laughing. She’s really worried because she’s not sure what she did or what they saw or what exactly they are laughing at.

Her friends are in peals of laughter, asking questions like “How did you not recognize the hotel from the front when you saw it?” (Answer – “It was dark”); “But what about the lobby?” (Answer – “I was pissed”); “Was there anyone at the desk?”(Answer – “I don’t know”); “What was the guy’s name?” (Answer – “I can’t remember”)

The hilarity continues because that’s life in London.

But I was not impressed. She disgusted me, sleeping with a random stranger on a night out on the town. all I could think was “You filthy, filthy slag. You deserve to get sacked”

And that’s how I know I’m still Trini.

Morals intact.

Strokes of Mixed Luck

2008-06-29T22:41:00.005+01:00

My cousin is here!!!!!!!!! Tomorrow, begins her month of training to take over my job (so that I can start my new one in August). This weekend was one of the best weekends I have in a loooooooong time in London, despite MyPrince being back in Trinidad. We went shopping, we had girly talks, we watched TV, we cooked, we were silly. It is just wonderful having a proper friend here. I really missed that, more than I would even admit.

The Save-The-Dates for our wedding went out last week and I'm already having people saying they can't make it, which is affecting me more than I thought it would, even though I knew that not everyone would be able to come. Sadly, TNLBF is one of those who won't be able to make it. He text me to let me know and I was really sad, even though we're not that close any more. I just assumed that he would be there, like it hadn't even occurred to me that he would be one of those people who wouldn't be able to make it. But it prepared me, because I know I will have other disappointments like this coming my way and I need to learn to deal and get over it.

The whole Save-The-Date experience was a mixed one for me. When I was doing my side of the guest list I was happy and excited. But then it came time for me to do ThePrince's. He had a part draft, no last names in most of the cases, and so he had to call his mom to finalise it but he kept delaying and procrastinating. I was getting really angry and frustrated because he needed to take the Save-The-Dates back with him when he was leaving. Eventually he made the call and I understood why he was so reticent.

Now my man is very calm. He almost never raises his voice. He walks away from arguments. He does not like discord. It unsettles him. I have never heard him as frustrated/angry as he was during that call. It will take me too long to get into all the things she said in detail (this was a two hour phone call) so I will summarise:

Our wedding is so posh it alienates his family
She doesn't understand why the wedding has to be in Tobago
Save-The-Dates are pointless and she never heard of them
We need to pay for his family to get from Trinidad to Tobago
We need to provide rooms (plural) for them to get changed and relaxed in before the wedding
If we don't provide passage and lodging we should not expect that any of his family will come

I have never been prouder of my baby than I was during that phone call. While he did shout a little, it was justified and he managed to get his points across. Mainly:

We're having a small wedding with no registry. How is that posh?
We want something small and intimate so we're having it in Tobago at a place where there is a set maximum number of guests for crowd control
The Save-The-Dates are necessary because the wedding is not in Trinidad and we need to give people the heads-up to make arrangements
If the wedding was in Trinidad we would not be paying for people's transport so why should we have to pay because it's in Tobago. And again, we have no registry so people can use that money to pay the $50TT return boat fare over and the hotel fees or the $300TT without hotel fees if they want to return on the same day
We'll provide A (singular) room for people who aren't overnighting to get changed (Possibly 2 rooms maximum and no one will be allowed to spend the night in them if they think that's what's going to happen)
We are inviting the people who we would like to be there. If they choose not to come, there's nothing we can do about that. It will help us cut costs.

He stood up for me, for us, against his mother. You probably don't understand but that was momentous, a landmark moment in our relationship. I think I fell in love with him all over again.

And when it was over, I just held him. We stayed in the same spot for an hour before falling asleep. Just drained. And I think he was a little hurt as well. It's hard for him when we look at our families side by side. No one in my family is complaining. Even the people who aren't that well off are saving to be able to make it. Everyone's really being positive and excited, and you can tell that he wants it to be like that on his side as well. He says the difference is that I am the golden girl of my family but he is the black sheep who did well for himself despite everyone's predictions. I think the difference is something else but I shouldn't put it into print and can't do it anyway without using profanity.

This is why marriage was only meant to be done once. Who could take this kind of stress twice? Sometimes I just want this wedding to be over so that we can tell everyone to bugger off and focus on our marriage. We should have gone to Gretna...

La La La La La, The Boys Are Waiting

2008-06-25T09:30:00.006+01:00

One of the things I missed most when I was in Phoenix is "Street Dance" class, the only class I make it my BUSINESS to attend weekly at the gym.

Normally I don't even like classes. I just want to work out alone. I don't want people standing really close to me, heaving and sweating and dripping and breathing my air. But I make an exception for "Street Dance" because it combines a fake work out, entertainment and amusement all in one compact hour.

I see the people who go to this class normally in the gym during the course of the week in normal attire (yoga pants and a top, tights and a T-shirt). I see them in street clothes after they shower. They look normal, like what people who live in our area look like - preppy and well-dressed and middle class. But these same people arrive at "Street Dance" in baggy pants on their hips, tight tops cut to show off their tummies and bandannas on their heads. I know the day will come when one of them arrives with their hair braided.

It cracks me up every week and is, in fact what attracted me to the class in the first place. Because, kill them dead, they're gangsta - the most pasty, vanilla, whitest of white people popping and locking, booty shaking and getting their groove on with all the attitude in the world. Sometimes I am trying so hard to hold my laughter in I can barely do the moves myself. Days later I remember something from class or something someone was wearing or someone's face when dancing at home or at work and collapse into fits of laughter where I can barely breathe.

Every 3 months or so a new routine is unleashed slowly. Every week you build on what was learnt the week before until you know the dance for the entire song. Right now the song is "Milkshake" by Kelis.

And I LOVE THAT SONG NOW. I LOVE IT, LOVE IT, LOVE IT, LOVE IT!!!!!!!!! And for the first time I get the attraction to "Street Dance" it's forbidden, it's something you wouldn't normally do - get seductive, wiggle your hips, smack your ass, lick your finger while looking at yourself in the mirror, walk forward oozing sex. That is one hotttttttt dance. It's an outlet. It makes you feel sexy and cool. I don't even have to do the moves to feel it now, even though I find myself doing them all the time, or picturing myself doing them. I downloaded the song, I listen to it multiple times a day, I hum it, I text the lyrics of the song to my friends when it's in my head. I am a woman obsessed.

When that song first came out and I heard it, I would steups mentally. I thought it was crap. Now I'm addicted. I am not even really sure what it means. I watched the video 10 million times and I still don't know what the milkshake actually is. Is it the boobs or the butt? Is it a dance? And what does she mean by "Warm it Up". Warm what up? The milk? How do you warm it up? And how do you "maintain your halo"

But that cowbell (*ping* at the end of every other line) makes me feral and I like it ...

Hell, my milkshake DOES bring all the boys to the yard and they're like, it's better than yours. DAMN RIGHT, IT'S BETTER THAN YOURS. I could teach you but I'd have to charge.

And my favourite line - "Watch if you're smart"

Back in Ldn

2008-06-22T02:04:00.005+01:00

I am back in London.

My last few days in Arizona were spent doing what I love best - minor shopping; lying in bed, sleeping, waking up late and generally lazing around; relaxing in the pool; eating; watching TV and pampering myself.

I am fully relaxed now but my body clock is out of whack because here I am wide awake at 2:00a.m. (maybe because it's only 6:00p.m. in AZ)

The best thing about going away is coming back home to MyPrince. I missed him so much. Being away from him helps me appreciate the everyday things like hugs and kisses; hand holding and hand squeezing; "I love you"s; cuddles; someone to hold my bags and talk to about any and everything. I am reminded how much he is my other half and how much I am used to, and love him being around.

He is sound asleep, snoring right next to me, looking super adorable. Exhausted because he can't sleep when I'm not around so he's basically been sleep walking the last week without me.

My wedding dress is hanging in the bedroom. He looked at the bag and told me that he couldn't wait, that he was so excited for our wedding, to see the dress, to see me, to see me in the dress.

I am starting to feel excited too, the quivers in my tummy. I keep yearning to try on my blusher (tiny veil) every second. I found myself going into the bathroom, locking the door, pinning it in my hair and pulling it over my face, like a woman possessed. I know I will never get tired of that so I made him put the bag of accessories far far away where I can't reach it.

It's like all of a sudden it hit me. I am going to be a bride. I am getting married to the man who is lying next to me. I am happy, and I will continue to be happy... We will continue to be happy TOGETHER

I Have Found My Dress - THE Dress

2008-06-18T19:21:00.005+01:00

Sometimes I think I am not cut out for bride-dom. I've stopped reading wedding webistes and forums because those brides make me feel so inadequate, like something is wrong with me because my wedding is not at the forefront of my mind every second of the day and I'm not constantly planning and checking. And it's not that I am not excited, but I am excited about my marriage and not about my wedding, if that makes any sense. I think I have done what should be done at this point without thinking and obsessing about it every day. It's just not necessary to me. I hadn't even done much thinking about my dress, much to the disappointment of PoshBankGirlFriend.

But yesterday I spent almost the entire day in David's Bridal looking at wedding dresses. I was just going to look but then I put a dress on and looked at myself in the mirror...

I had specific criteria for my wedding dress:

No colour other than white
No styles other than strapless
No veils or mantillas
No train
No bows
No meringues
No pleats
No can-cans
No flowers
No lace
No beads
No gathers
No ruffles
Nothing poufy

The dress that I fell in love with was one I didn't even want to try on. It is cream (not white), goes with a petticoat (the thing that makes it stick out which is essentially a can-can) so it's a little poufy, has a small train, is pleated/gathered at the mid-section, is a halter and not a strapless, has a flower and while it doesn't come with a veil, I have purchased a mini-veil or blusher. So there you go, my perfect dress is everything I never wanted in a dress, but I put it on and felt like a million dollars, no a million pounds sterling. It was made for me. I bought it.

I was so nervous on the morning that we were about to go to the store - worried about my un-brideliness, that I wouldn't see any dress that I liked, that nothing would fit well, that even though my groom reassured me that on our wedding day I would be the most beautiful girl in the world - I would fall short of the goal. I was tearful because I didn't feel like a "normal" bride because I had not, prior to then, been operating as one. I was just worried, even though I had tried on her wedding dress the night before and it fit like a glove and I looked magical.

And so Tori was the perfect person for me to go with. She was very calming. She knew I was nervous, we had a mantra. She kept repeating things like "We are only looking for a dress. If we do not find anything you like we'll go to another store. There will be lots of people there because it's June, but if you feel uncomfortable we can always go to another store, a smaller store. If you don't want to go today and you want to reschedule we can. Ignore the other brides. I won't leave your side"

And believe me, I needed to be handled with kid gloves and I needed her not to leave my side - and not only because those dresses and undergarments are hell to get into. Then I tried on my first dress. I felt like a bride, I looked like I bride. I found my inner brideliness. From then on, I stepped with confidence into every dress (and believe me, some were hideous). Until I tried THAT dress on. Then I knew I didn't need to try on anything else.

I always thought that was a myth, that when you found the right dress you would FEEL it, KNOW it in your bones. But believe me, that is a truth.

I am grateful that I didn't have a dress made just frm picking a pattern in a book and I got to see it on myself, along with other dresses, first. And I am grateful to Tori, for getting me gently to the store, being honest about the dresses I tried on without being hurtful, and for knowing that that dress would suit me, choosing it and getting me to try it on, because it wasn't even one I had picked myself. And I am grateful that I found my dress ... after all

Oh so - you want to know what the dress looks like? You've gotta wait until the wedding day ...

Arizona Update 1

2008-06-17T01:22:00.005+01:00

Arizona is as hot as hell. Tori did warn me, but still I was unprepared. On Sunday it was 113F (45F). This place does not get cool EVER. It's hot at 9:30 p.m. and this morning at 7:30a.m. it was already 90F (30C).

I have never been anywhere this hot in my life. Even Trinidad, in the Caribbean doesn't get this hot. And I am just toasted. I think I'll be 10 shades darker by the time I get home.

Anyway I am grateful for many things:

Air-conditioning (in the car and in the house)
Powerful showers
The swimming pool (and the hot weather means I can swim even at 9:00p.m.)
A $2US to £1 Exchange Rate
Shopping - I exercised my plastic well today (JC Penney, Marshall's, ROSS etc.)
The softest bed ever created
A 10 min pressure point massage
Wonderful Mexican food that I do not have to make myself.
A wonderful hostess (Tori who I'm staying with has soul. She must be part black because she is the blackest white girl I know. She knows all the rap songs on the radio and has a mouth on her like a sailor but at the same time she is so considerate that it's almost as if she is on edge worrying about whether or not I'm happy. It's nice to be "mothered", I'm secretly loving every minute of it)
A Chinese Food Mart Tori took me to today where I found Crix, green seasoning, pepper sauce and even Peardrax. Quite inexpensively too!!!! Who woulda thunk that I would have come all the way to Arizona to get Trini food. Lol. THE DROUGHT IS OVER!!!!!!!!!!

Tomorrow we go to look at wedding dresses. Updates to follow...

I am having a great time so far

It Was A Long Hard Road, But I Got There

2008-06-16T07:52:00.004+01:00

I have arrived in AZ!!!!! Believe me, it's an accomplishment, there was a time when I didn't think I would make it.

I left London at 9:15a.m. and was due to arrive at Detroit Metro Airport at 1:00p.m. My connecting flight was not until 7:39p.m. but I wasn't sweating the wait because I know what US Customs and Immigration is like and I was happy for the chance to read, stretch my legs and get something normal to eat.

My flight arrived early - at noon. It took me all of 15 mins to get through Immigration so I had longer to wait than I anticipated but I still wasn't hating until I looked at the monitors and realised my flight was delayed until 9:00p.m. I kept on reading, went to the gate to board at 9:00p.m. and realised the flight had been further delayed to 10:00p.m.

I started to get really pissed, mostly because I was tired. Even though my first flight was a long one I was saddled with the world's most annoying seatmate who started off talking, then gave me all the effects of his movie (laughing out loud, yelling "Oh shit", clapping his hands loudly etc. like a never-see-come-see bastard) and I suspect he was also a serial secretive farter because something just wasn't right from time to time.

10:00p.m. comes and goes and we are all still waiting, to be told that our flight crew (stewardesses, captain, pilot and first officer) were coming in on another flight from Baltimore but there were storms and so they were unable to take off which was the cause of the delays, but they should be there by 11:00p.m. I started to get worried because I knew no one in Detroit and heard from other passengers that the airlines no longer paid for hotel stays and we would have to sleep in the airport and I wasn't down with that.

We get a food voucher from the airline for US$10 to get ourselves dinner and then 11:00p.m. comes and we hear that the flight had taken off and would be there by 11:30p.m.. We start boarding at 11:30p.m. The flight arrived from Baltimore at midnight. The stewardesses, first officer and pilot all arrived but there was no captain. He went home. He did not realise that he had another flight to make that night. We sat on the plane for another hour and fifteen minutes, waiting for him to return, finally leaving the airport at 1:00a.m. I arrived in Phoenix at 3:30a.m. (5:30a.m. Detroit time and 10:30a.m. London tine).

I was at Detroit Metro Airport for 12hours and in total it took me over 24 hours to get from London to Phoenix.

I pretty much slept ALL DAY today.

I have to say, I love American people for their vociferousness and for the way they come together. British people would have been quiet and polite and taken it, and sat separately, doing their own thing. But oh no, my American travellers did not. They complained, they asked questions, they used their mobiles to call Head Office Customer Service, they threatened, they asked for and got concessions (to be allowed to smoke in the toilet, for free alcohol, for extra miles, for snacks and drinks). It turned into a party in my Section coming down to the end. People asked me my name and where I was travelling from. They were so warm and friendly, like Trinis. I miss that in London.

I also love American Boys...but more on that later...

The Trini Stockpile

2008-06-11T13:47:00.002+01:00

On Saturday I will be leaving London for a week and going all the way to Phoenix AZ in the US for some R&R. In order to reap the full benefits of this vacation however I have had to work myself to the bone getting an assignment done that's due on Monday for school and arranging things at work so they will function in my absence so now I really need the vacation to recover from the preparations I made to go on vacation. Stress!

But now on to more serious, pressing issues.

I had a TRAGEDY, an EMERGENCY, a CRISIS on my hands

More serious than the absence of callaloo...

A day ThePrince and I never thought would come, came. We were ill prepared and had to suffer the consequences.

***

In our kitchen the food cupboard is vertical, with the top shelf so high I can neither see nor reach what is on it. I don't need to see what is there though, the top shelf is our "Trini Stockpile" shelf. We are chronic hoarders of the things we can't get here that we want to consume. This lovely shelf contains things like:

Mauby (bark) and Sorrell (Imagine my surprise when I went home for Christmas and this was being sold dried and prepackaged with the right amount of spices added)
Crix (the vital supplies, no other "cracker" tastes like it
Chief curry powder (There are so many versions and brands of curry up here but none taste like "Trini" curry so we have to import it)
Kuchela
Guava Jam
Angostura Bitters (Available here, but very expensive at approx £4)
Pholourie and Accra Mixes
Maggi cubes, "Season It" and "Flavour D Pot"
Bongo, Tiki, Ping Pong, Bobby and other assorted sweet snacks
Red mango, plums, anchar and other preserves
"Chinee" sausage
Green seasoning
Proper Pepper Sauce (Hot)

We store these things in crazy proportions. Any time either of us makes a trip home we come back laden with "supplies". There are times we have 8 bottles of seasoning and 4 bottles of pepper for example. But on Saturday I went into my cupboard to get some green seasoning to season the chicken for the next day's meal and I noticed that the bottle was almost empty so I called ThePrince go up on that shelf and take down a new bottle. He came and he said the words I thought I would never hear "Baby it doh have anodder bottle up here yuh kno". And I thought he was kidding.

But no ... WE WERE OUT OF SEASONING. And not only that... we are on our last pack of curry powder and Crix, last bottle of pepper and bitters and have NO SNACKS left.

Pressure!!!!!!!!!

Now that I think about it's funny because we were both traumatised. He said "Baby, wha we goin an do?" like it was the end of the world. And really it was the end of the world because we CANNOT eat unseasoned meat. It just cannot be done. And my cousin is the next person coming to the UK, and that's not for 2 weeks. I have no plans to go home this year and he is not going home until July.

We KNEW we would not survive.

So we went "hunting" to the "Ethnic Food Section" of three (3) Tescos and finally found some minuscule bottles of seasoning one third (1/3) the size of the bottles we usually buy at home for £1.99. That's over TT$20 for a tiny bottle of seasoning. I nearly fainted from the shock. But ThePrince soon snapped me back to reality with "Buh babes, dis is a desperate situation here"

And it was a desperate situation.

So I confess, I DID IT. I paid TT$20 for piece of a bottle of seasoning. I am so ashamed I can barely type this. But I assure you, this travesty will not recur. Clearly if we are cutting down on our visits home we need a more sophisticated storage/shipping network and mechanism.

Excuse me while I go bury my head in the sand from sheer embarrassment and work on my supply chain management.

Happy 2 Year AnniBlogiversary To Me!!!!!!!!!!

2008-06-04T11:33:00.004+01:00

Today, for the first time since I have been engaged, I feel a tiny, niggling unsure feeling. Not a big one, a really microscopic one.

Today, I have been in London for two (2) whole years. It's my Londoniversary and my Blogiversary all in one. And I totally forgot about it until about an hour ago when the doorbell rang and the delivery person gave me a big box addressed to me. There are beautiful lilies inside them, most of them unopened and a card that says
"Congratulations on making it TWO years in London. I am really proud of you! Missing you every day - Your Chef - G"

I melted. I took pictures ...

I've been incommunicado and cutting ties with him since I got engaged, and despite this, he remembered, and cared enough to do something about it. I am deeply, deeply touched.

Anyway, after my memory was jogged. I immediately came here to the blog and started re-reading some of my original posts. So many things have happened to me, I feel like a different person from when I first arrived. I can't imagine being at home permanently, I don't know what I would be doing, where I would be.

I am still home sick sometimes (a lot of times). I miss my mother like crazy, sometimes I just need her, I don't think I realised how close we were until I came here. Some of my friendships have suffered because of the distance but I think coming to London was the second best decision I ever made in my life, the best being deciding to stay, stick it out, not go home and make it work.

Because it IS working. I'm thriving - comfortable and happy (mostly). I am successful (a bit too successful actually) in my current job, looking forward to a new job, enjoying independence and autonomy and a different lifestyle, a different world view ... I don't know if I will ever be able to live at home again.

And I guess that adapting and integrating to this extent, and overcoming the hurdles I have is reason to be proud. There was a time when I could not conceive making it this far.

So Happy 2 Year AnniBlogiversary To Me!!!!!!!!!! I just may take myself out for dinner later

I Dream In Green

2008-05-29T11:58:00.007+01:00

Today I am feeling so full of energy.

I'm still feeling the effects of my amazing, relaxing, long weekend in Bournemouth. Despite the weatherman's predictions the sun shone on both Saturday and Sunday (unlike in London where it poured with rain). For a moment I felt like I was at Maracas. I deluded myself so much that I even went in to the water, which brought me quickly back to reality as it was freeezzzing. I persisted and went all the way up to my thighs though and after my body acclimatised, it was wonderful. Other people were fully submerged but I fear my blood is still too Caribbean-hot and I'd get pneumonia or something from the chill.

The trip was good for me. Being at the seaside quelled one aspect of my homesickness - missing the beach but on the other hand it made me pine for something from home so much that I have been thinking about it so much, I wake up tasting it.

My dreams are green, filled with callaloo. Callaloo is one of my favourite dishes in Trinidad. I love it. It's made with ochro (okra) and dasheen bush (spinach-like), coconut milk, crab (or pigtail). I have not had callaloo since I have been here because apart from the ingredient crisis (I somehow don't think that there is dasheen bush in London), I cannot make it to save my life. I've never tried but I know there's an art to it I haven't mastered. I dream of callaloo. I cannot wait for my mother to arrive. I will eat an entire pressure cooker full of it on it's own with a spoon.

On Sunday when we went down to the beach we saw a Caribbean restaurant and got instantly excited because the starters were things like:
"Red bean soup - stewed red beans with bits of chicken"
"Potstickers"
And of course "Callaloo".

And the main courses were
"Fiery Tobago Chicken with Plantains and Garlic Rice " (I kid you not)
"Jamaican Jerk Chicken with rice and peas and salad"
"Spicy Curried Lamb with Coconut Rice"
"Roasted Chicken with Mango Chutney, Plantains and Butternut Squash"

Despite the fact that we were the only black people in the restaurant, I felt in my bones that I was going to get a true "Sunday Lunch", an authentic experience. ThePrince said that the floral shirts the staff were wearing, "butternut squash", "mango chutney" and "ciabatta bread" that came with my "callaloo soup" were signs that the experience was going to be far from Caribbean but I was undaunted, I held on to hope.

I ordered the callaloo and the Tobago chicken, and the waitress said "I have to warn you, that chicken has quite a kick" which thrilled me to bits because it meant that it wasn't going to be the usual bland English fare. ThePrince ordered the potstickers and the Mango Chutney Chicken.

Fast forward to the food's arrival. I was presented with a bowl of thick cream coloured liquid with chunks (which I realised later were onion, crab, ochro etc) floating in it that reminded me with clam chowder. I said to the waitress "I think you made a mistake, I ordered the callaloo" and she said really proudly "That is the callaloo, we make ours really rich and creamy".

ThePrince says the look on my face was priceless. I was absolutely aghast. I have never seen callaloo like that IN MY LIFE. It was very tasty, mind you, but it was not callaloo. I was so disappointed and sad. The allegedly "fiery" Tobago chicken did not even ignite a spark. Abysmal. (The mango chutney was lovely though)

It is just depressing to be so close, yet so far. And now I crave it even more. The cravings had died away somewhat until I saw that menu. Now I don't even know if I will make it until July when my MamaBear comes to rescue me. It's so sad.

So I send this message out to the universe
"If there are any Trini people in London who know where I can find the ingredients to make callaloo (Prince can make it) or who know where I can buy ready made callaloo please e-mail me. I need this desperately. Help a sister out"

And I send this message to Trinidad:
"Any one who exists out there with an entrepreneurial mind and access to the "true" ingredients - no substitutes allowed, please start making and selling tinned callaloo. There is a market. I will personally be responsible for consuming half of what you can make and am willing to pay shipping costs. E-mail me. Let's discuss. Help a sister out"

Blessings...

Three Strange Things

2008-05-23T09:29:00.004+01:00

This afternoon myPrince and I are leaving London behind to take advantage of our long weekend (Monday is a Bank Holiday) to retreat to Bournemouth for some alone time (Yeah, I know, our whole life is technically "alone time" but we want alone time away from the house)

Life returns to normal on Tuesday.

Before I go, three (3) strange things.

NUMBER ONE
Every time we plan go away, I go into hypercleaning-drive. Every where has to be clean, and I mean spotless. All laundry has to be done. The fridge/freezer has to be clean containing only drinks and the ingredients for at least 2 meals for our return, nothing can be in there that will possibly get spoilt while we are away. Ice trays must be filled. All garbage taken out. All carpets and furniture Febreezed.

I just cannot come back to disorganisation. It depresses me. But if the apartment is clean I feel happy to be back. Also, I never really relax if I know that there are things to be done and I worry about getting back early to do those things, so it's not really a break. I don't know if this is normal or if I'm just anal. It might be a combination because I don't know if "normal" people scrub their bathrooms at 11p.m. (In my defence this trip was not finalised until Wed so I did not have all week to prepare a cleaning schedule)

NUMBER TWO
One day I came home to find the door to our apartment open. Not unlocked and not wide open, but ajar. I was so afraid. I thought we had been robbed so I called ThePrince and had him stay on the phone with me while I tentatively went up the stairs preparing myself for the worst. I go room to room making sure everything was still present and intact. There is silence on the phone because we're both nervous and worried. Then all of a sudden, I hear the trembly little-boy voice of myPrince "Baby, is the PlayStation there?"

I was going to get angry but I couldn't help it, I just sat down on the bed and laughed and laughed until the tears came down my cheeks. It was so typical of him. He didn't ask if I was okay. We have a fridge, stove, microwave, George Foreman grill, surround sound stereo system, 2 TVs, 2 DVD players, 2 laptops not to mention jewellery and other valuables and all he cares about is his PS2 and PS3...

NUMBER THREE
This morning I called one of our staff members to find our her available days for next week. She replied "I'm pregnant and I'm trying to arrange a termination for next week. So whichever day they schedule me in for I won't be able to work but I'll be fine for all the other days"

Just like that. To me, a stranger. Very matter-of-fact. Blase. Like it was no big deal and it happens everyday.

For some reason I just started to cry like a fool. For the baby, for the mother that couldn't care, for a society where abortion is casual conversation. I was really upset.

I had to laugh at myself because after being in London for almost two years I like to think of myself as being worldly and international. But cultural differences like this (I have never in Trinidad heard anyone speak of abortion above a whisper or without remorse) make me revert to that girl fresh off the plane from Trinidad. I am happy though that I am not so desensitized to be unaffected by things that are important (and that I still have some morals). If this is what it means to be a "developed" country I hope Trinidad keeps it's "third world" status forever.

It's My Wedding - PAY ME

2008-05-21T19:26:00.005+01:00

ThePrince will be going home soon and he's been compiling a list of things he needs to take and to get and things he needs to do.

On this little list was "RBTT 'I Do' Account?" As soon as I saw it I went to him because UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES WILL WE BE HAVING ANY 'I DO' ACCOUNT. For those non-Trinis, this is a bank account created in the names of couples to be married who, in lieu of a bridal registry send out the account details to their guests thereby requesting cash as wedding presents instead of other tangible store-bought items.

His argument is that:

We live overseas, so people won't know what to get us
Appliances won't work in the UK
Other items (houseware and other traditional wedding gifts) will be too heavy for us to take back with us
We are all set up domestically and so don't need the traditional wedding gifts
We should give people who want to get us something an option

However, I think that requesting (or in my opinion demanding because if you have no other registry and they want to give you a present what you really are saying is that it MUST be cash) is TACKY CENTRAL.

I have a problem with bridal registries in general. I just think that there is something wrong with telling people what to get you for your wedding. It's nice to get gifts, but I think the gift should be something that the giver is comfortable giving and something that they put thought into that THEY PICKED FOR THEMSELVES, that they thought we would like and use. And if we don't like it or we can't use it, so what? We'll thank them anyway. It's the thought that counts! And anything too heavy can be stored at my mama's until such time when I can take it.

I appreciate that TT appliances will not be able to work in London and that some of the traditional wedding gift items can be heavy. But the people who are invited to our wedding are our friends and family. They know us, they know our situation and they are smart enough to know what to get if they decide to get us anything at all. Little mementoes of the day; albums; tokens of friendship; jewellery; things old, new, borrowed and blue and other things will occur to them. They don't need our help.

Not to mention that we are having a destination wedding so we are asking our guests to get to Tobago and in the majority of cases, to stay overnight. This is an expense. So in effect, by mere attendance they are giving us a present.

Bridesmaids and groomsmen have to pay for their wedding attire, which is an added expense. Then there is the whole bachelor/bachelorette party (and associated fireman stripper). Also various other members of my family will be contributing in other ways. For example, I intend to ask my grandmother to make my wedding cake, my cousin Nikki will be doing my hair and make-up and I want to ask my Aunty Gail to play the guitar and my sister to sing. I consider those to be gifts. My baby sister who is in college offered with her no money-earning behind to pay for my wedding favours for goodness sake (of course I ignored her). I am fairly sure that my godparents (2 of them anyway) will offer to pay for something. And my family is very generous, I know I will have all the help I need getting set up or organised.

I just think it's in poor taste to ask/demand gifts on top of that. I don't want anyone to feel that they aren't welcome at my wedding unless they can spare some cash to give me or get me a present. I just want them to be there.

So, I am sorry but I just can't do it ... and I won't do it. It just goes against everything I believe. My wedding is about having the people I love watch me marry the man I love and then celebrating with me. I have been surrounded by love my whole life. My family and life have been so supportive of me and so proud. And with all they have done for me and continue to do for me, I can never and will never ask for their money.

So ThePrince can scratch that "I Do" account off the list of things to do when he gets home.

Not going to happen.

Un-Zillaed

2008-05-14T21:27:00.005+01:00

I actually have a channel on Sky called "Wedding TV" and it is my latest vice. I would watch it 24/7 if I could.

I especially love Bridezillas. I am in awe of the people who deal with the crazy brides. Just speechless...

I know that my own Bridezilla opportunities will be limited. Severely. The Maid of Honour, my sister does not take any sh*t from anybody, and I doubt that the fact that it's my wedding will change that. I watch these brides yelling up at their sisters. I don't even want to think about what my sister will do or how she will react if I started behaving like that. She might "snock" me (A snock is a special way of hitting someone that we invented)

And my best friend ... aint easy either. We aren't the kind of friends who can say "Twenty (20) years we've known each other and we've never had a cross word". We don't really fall out regularly, but when we do fight. Rawr. The fur flies. We had one of our little tiffs this weekend. ThePrince said and I quote "It's a miracle the two of you make up when you fight because you're both..." and he trailed off. I sensed the b-word though. It's true though, we're both stubborn, both opinionated, both condescending, both a bit biatchy. We give as good as we get. But we make up because we love each other. In one of our more intense spats she said to me "Dana I'm not going to fight with you any more. I don't want to play "who's the bigger b*tch with you". And that sums up how we make up. One of us has to decide not to "play".

Somehow I don't think the groom's sister who is also a bridesmaid is going to humour me at all.

So that leaves my cousin and MySpiritualGuideandConscience. I'd feel guilty being mean to my cousin because she's such a cupcake and I know she won't stand up for herself. And while SpiritualGuide might be all Godly, she does have her quieter ways of keeping me in check. She brings me back down to earth quite nicely and solidly when she needs too.

So I'm not going to be able to curse out my bridesmaids, lock them up in my house for the weekend and feed them salad so they fit better in their dresses for the wedding, threaten to cut them out of the wedding if they don't do exactly what I say, have them decorating for hours and hours or make them wear any hideous crap.

That leaves my mother and ThePrince.

I respect my mom her too much to get all bah-jiggity with her. Also, even though I'm 26 I'm still afraid of the evil eye. You know what I mean, the evil eye from when you're a child and doing something wrong and your mother would look at you, just this one look, one special look and you'd know to quit? Yeah, my mom has perfected that. Finally, my mom tends to get teary when people yell and who wants Mama-tears on their conscience?

As for ThePrince, let's not even go there. He's a walker. I act up, he gets quiet and takes a walk. How can I have my temper tantrum, complete with tears, bouquet throwing, yelling and screaming if my groom is going to walk away?

And that's why I am obsessed with WeddingTV. I have to live vicariously through these brides because as shown above, I aint gonna get none of that ish.

But before I sign out, here is one more reason why I love the show. Today's episode featured a bride and groom who met when they were in lanes alongside each other stuck in traffic. He told the cameras that the first thing he notices about her was her smile. She was smiling and laughing and he wanted that smile to be directed at him. They asked her what she first noticed about him and she responded "His E Class Mercedes Benz". It just doesn't get better than that...

All I Can Stay Is If I Were A Bell I'd Be Ringing

2008-05-11T21:42:00.005+01:00

I have had the most amazing weekend. I am so relaxed right now I'm purring like a kitten here in my little bed.

The bosses returned on Fri and to celebrate my return to normalcy and make up for the neglect I subjected myself to over the last week.

MyPrince, having witnessed first hand my grueling schedule of the last 3 weeks and it's impacts graciously volunteered to do all the house work this weekend while I had a little me-time. And then we had a little us-time.

So at this moment I've caught up on my sleep, my legs are waxed, my hair is done, I've been mani-d, pedi-d, facial-ed and plucked. I am a new woman, ready for SPRING.

And it's a great thing because SPRING IS HERE. This was an amazing weekend weather wise. 23 degrees C. I felt I hate the sun normally but it's been so gloomy that I am actually embracing the sunshine (I'll be complaining if it keeps up for more than 2 days though)

I'm also what he calls "toasted" from the sun because we spent a lot of time outdoors just catching up, walking around, holding hands, doing every day shopping and just re-connecting because we haven't had that much time together lately.

Anyway, in keeping with this New-Woman Theme, I have a New Resolution. Spring is the time for newness and rebirth after all!!!! The resolution is to MIND MY OWN BUSINESS. I expend way too much energy getting upset and hurt over things that happen (actually who know if they even really happen) to other people. But under the new regime - if you aren't bothered about your own life, you had better believe that I am not going to be either. I wash my hands.

That having been said, some of you may have noticed that yesterday's post is now missing. It was written with the best of intentions, but was again, a classic example of me not minding my business (But hey, I did not have a resolution then) so it has been removed. It's not my normal policy, I know, to remove posts. In fact it is not something I do AT ALL. But in this instance I did not even bother to protest or fight it. I just removed it. I'm just frustrated, annoyed and tired, and to be honest, the drama just wasn't worth it to me. I felt my blood boil despite my relaxation regime and just decided to take the path of least aggravation to me.

I'll stick to writing about what I KNOW going forward - me, my life and my Prince, any things I experience first hand and not hearsay.

That's all.

Why This Blog Has Not Been Updated

2008-05-07T19:03:00.004+01:00

It is the third week that my bosses have been away and I have been in charge, working the shift that starts at 7:00a.m.

In addition to that, that the son of my sole coworker is ill. He's now in hospital so she has been coming to work late (10:00a.m. instead of 9:00a.m.) and taking two (2) hours lunch instead of one (1) so that she can make visiting hours, drop him liquids and food and get status updates. Before the hospitalisation she was leaving early to take him to the doctor's and whatnot. It's been going on since last Fri. Mind you, there is no way she would have be able to get away with this if the bosses were here, but she's been there for fifteen (15) years and she is thirty (30) years older than me so there's nothing I can really do, and I guess I have to be considerate because it's her son.

My patience is running thin though because her son is a twenty eight year old man and I do not think she needs to visit him three times a day. I think she is taking advantage of me - but whatever, I'm out of this job in just over 2 months and I have every intention of mentioning it to my bosses in passing when they return (They know she takes the piss when they are not around any way)

Long story short - I AM A ZOMBIE. Operating on empty. Practically sleepwalking.

I come home, try to unwind in front of the TV and fall into a coma until the next morning. And even then I have to press "Snooze" twice to wake up. My gym schedule has gone to hell. It's all I can do to get myself to work and get home. I have no time for anything else. Including this blog.

I barely see/speak to my fiance. Yesterday, he came home and we were speaking about our days and I fell asleep mid-sentence. I was speaking and then I was asleep.

Things are that bad people. So next week when I recover. But I have to wrap this up because it's cutting into my sleep time.

The Boy Next Door

2008-05-01T09:48:00.004+01:00

The house next door to ours has been vacant and in the process of being refurbished since we moved in. About two (2) weeks ago, a young family moved in and my first awareness of them was a face staring at me through the window one Thursday evening when I came home from work. The little face smiled at me, then a hand crept up to wave got half way and was abruptly pulled down again - like he thought better of it.

I don't really like kids. I love one - because he's my god son. I tolerate most them, usually those in the age group after the terrible two-s and before the terrifying twelve-s. Sometimes I do find myself thinking that one or two are really cute (They must be really clean and polite, smiley and non-intrusive for me to think that).

We all know that I am not one of those women who yearn for children, not yet anyway and definitely have no plans to have any before the age of thirty (It was 35 but ThePrince has worn me down). I don't really know how the whole motherhood thing is going to work for me. I can't say I'm looking forward to it. I'll probably be one of those moms who take a week's maternity leave and are back at their desks almost instantly. I'm just not one of those women who ooh and aah over every single child even those with runny noses, dirty hands and bodies, poopy diapers and crying, screaming voices. I can't even envision what I would be like as a mother.

But this kid is way past the crying, poopy stage and I have to admit I thought he was adorable. And so, I smiled a big smile at the "dougla" looking face and waved and went inside.

On Sunday ThePrince and I were going out. I was ready first so I went downstairs to check the mail and noticed that there were lots of people next door and balloons on the railing leading in to the house. I just assumed it was a house warming but then Boy-Next-Door(BND) saw me, came running out of the house and said "Today's my birthday. I'm ten" and gave me a huge smile. I couldn't help smiling back again, something about this kid is infectious. I wished him Happy Birthday and then ThePrince came and put his arm around me. My BND's face totally crumbled and he got all red and he went inside.

ThePrince admittedly didn't know what was going on. But from the time he saw the poor boy's face he started laughing. He thought this was hilarious. And when the boy went inside he was still cracking up and all "I remember when I was 10. I wasn't tryin' to run up on no big man's woman" I told him he ruined the boy's birthday and he said he gave him an invaluable "birthday present" in the form of a life lesson "Check for the ring and the boyfriend who's bigger than you first". Whatever. I remember when I was ten, too. It was the start of my awkward phase. My heart hurt for him, but of course, I couldn't make it better.

I see him all the time now. He has never come running up to me again, but I love how he blushes when he sees me and his tentative wave. He is just too adorable. I wonder if I'm his first crush. I want to give him a hug and say "Don't worry you'll meet a nice girl your own age, and she won't be able to resist you because you're so cute"

I'm writing about him because this morning I saw his daddy and he said "Are you are the pretty lady next door who has stolen my son's heart?"

And I totally shamed myself and lowered my cool factor by blushing. Because I truly am flattered. I think it's just the sweetest thing in the world. I've never been a young boy crush before :-). I like it!!!!!!!!!

Dana's 26th Birthday

2008-04-28T08:59:00.007+01:00

I never feel as if it's really my birthday until my MamaBear calls and tells me my birth story. It's a tradition for us, very corny, but I love it. I never get tired of hearing it. It sets the tone of the day. It goes something like...

"26 (or 25, or 24 or how ever old I am) years ago at 7:25a.m. (when I was in Trinidad she would call at the exact time but with our time difference now it's a little tricky) at Sister Solomon's Nursing Home in San Fernando, Trinidad a beautiful baby girl came into the world, making me a mother and filling both her father and I with lots of pride. Her father was very surprised as he was certain the baby was going to be a boy and had already planned to give him a magnificent name to match the awesome things he was going to do - Maximilian or "Max" for short. But he still wanted to name his baby girl "Max" so he called her Maxine"

Awwwwwwwwww *moment of silence to celebrate how special my story is*

I was so homesick this year I made her tell me twice, like the big baby I am, and then after we hung up I proceeded to cry on my co-worker "I want my mummy. I want to go home" like a two year old because I just missed her so much. She's an awesome birthday person. All my childhood birthdays were really special. ThePrince says I had a Cosby upbringing and it's true. I am very proud of it. I especially love the part about me making her a mother, because my sister can't claim that now can she? I was the first and mummy wasn't a mummy until she had me so boo boo sister! Boo!

Despite the rocky start I had a great birthday. ThePrince whisked me away to a seaside town - Brighton for the weekend. We stayed in a gorgeous, cosy B&B and I felt like I was on another planet. The sun came out in all it's glory on Saturday so it was a perfect weekend to be at the beach. The coast wasn't sandy at all, but smooth large round pebbles, unlike anything I've ever seen. But they were comfortable to lie on. And people were tanning and reading and sleeping. It was really nice and peaceful.

There was an amusement park at the Brighton Pier so we went a little crazy on the rides, screaming and yelling our heads off (He hates heights so at some points he really was screaming and I was laughing at him). And then in the arcade, playing air hockey and those games where you hit the alligators on their heads. We held hands and took long walks and ate ice cream and cotton candy (on a stick no less) and hot doughnuts like the little children who were there. We went out to dinner and stayed out late watching the night scenes. We took a tiny open air train to the Brighton Marina and had a nose around. I haven't let my hair down and had fun like that in a long time. It was a perfect weekend getaway and a perfect birthday present. And I was so sad when it was time to leave.

Back to reality now.

I'm 26 and I still want my mummy...

Wedding Invitations that Sizzzzzzzzle

2008-04-23T08:26:00.005+01:00

It's almost my birthday!!!!!!!!! - just thought I would let you know in case you forgot...

***

I have ordered my wedding invitations but they haven't yet been printed because I cannot decide on the wording. Apparently the latest in invitations is to have a little quote at the end from a poem or text or some verse that means something to the couple. It doesn't have to be long, I've seen some that are one liners and some that are like a verse/stanza.

I want to have a quote from Sizzla or rather I AM GOING TO HAVE A QUOTE FROM SIZZLA (If you don't know who Sizzla is or are unaware of my obsession with him - see here). The Prince is not really a fan of Sizzla so I'm in the process of negotiating. When I first told him he got really quiet and just looked at me. Then, he saw that I was serious, which I am. Deadly. And he told me that I need to find a wedding-related quote from one of TheEmperor's songs and bring it to him.

"Am I out of my d@mn mind?" Of course not. Shouldn't my wedding be customised to me? Yes. And if I like/love Sizzla, shouldn't that be incorporated into the wedding? Yes. Anyway, here's what I have so far:

"I'm gonna take you there, love for a lifetime I'm gonna make your life so clear, gonna make you mine"
Sizzla - Gimme A Try

"True love never die, it only create"
Sizzla - Gimme A Try

"Nothing out there is gonna break us up In each other's arms we're waking up Love aint gonna go 'way"
Sizzla - Knowing Each Other

"I love you so much that I will never let you go
Hold you in my arms and squeeze you so
I know you need my love...
So please me, with your pleasure
You're my peculiar treasure"
Sizzla - Peculiar Treasure

"You and you alone, do the things you've done, so clever
I have never seen no one, like you, oh baby oh never
You make me feel at home when you're in my arms - I could never feel much better
Keep you so safe and sound, I wanna spend my whole life with you, forever
I'm the perfect one for you, you're the perfect one for me
I will never make you blue, you're my everything"
Sizzla - Perfect One

"My love, My life
My life, My love
It is built upon your trust
I'll never let go"
Sizzla - That's why

" We belong together, let us make it known"
Sizzla - Somewhere Oh

Sizzla fans out there can suggest other alternate, suitable quotes (I'm counting on you Pretty Red Friend) and/or vote for the quotes suggested above.

Don't try to talk me out of it either - IT'S HAPPENING. Let's not unleash Bridezilla. It's that time of the month and all so ...

The Things We Do For Love

2008-04-16T14:59:00.006+01:00

ThePrince has a friend. I mentioned him before. He is a pervert.

Since my last post about him I've been in his presence twice, once when my sister was around and I've been copied in on several e-mails where they were working out what stadium site they wanted to visit next (and the subsequent overnight trip and travel details). All these e-mails are shared, as in everyone who wants to make a suggestion clicks "Reply All" so everyone keeps current on the plans and discussions. I never take part in the discussions but I do read the e-mails sometimes.

Today, I got the following e-mail from perv addressed solely to me:

Subject: Hi Mrs Prince how are u by the way ?

I ask because you don’t respond to any e-mail messages

***

Is it just me or is that weird? I mean, we aren't friends - him and I. Why is he e-mailing me separately? In the e-mail he acknowledges that I am with ThePrince but something just seems wrong to me. It seems like a "pick up" a sort of "feeling out the situation to see how I will respond" Maybe I'm overreacting because I don't like him but the e-mail made me feel uncomfortable. Maybe I should give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he's just trying to be friendly with me because I'm marrying his friend and I am misinterpreting the signals.

I know that every man in the world doesn't want to jump my bones. I'm not being full of myself but my gut feeling is that he's up to something

What do you think???? Perv or friend?

I called ThePrince and told him. He went immediately silent, which is always a bad sign. He said, "We have to do something about this". Now I know my baby, he hates confrontation. And I myself was unsure of the best way to handle the situation, I mean suppose he is just trying to be a friend to us both. I decided to write him back, and I blind copied ThePrince.

***

Subject: RE: Hi Mrs Prince how are u by the way ?

Hiya. I’m very well, thank you. It’s really quiet here at work today so I’m doing bride-ly things on the Internet in preparation for really becoming Mrs. Prince, like looking at invitations and centerpieces and trying to get ideas for the Ceremony and Reception because I only have eight months left and those will fly by really quickly. I have all the samples and things I order online coming to the office so I’m like a child whenever the post comes – rushing to the door to see what new treats have arrived.

Today my placecards and seating charts arrived and they are lovely so I guess, I’m better than just “well” – I’m happy and excited. I know we’re pretty much “married” now anyway – living as man and wife but there’s something so exciting about the actual day.

Dana

I'm really hoping that says "Thanks for asking, but I'm getting married. I'm happy and I'm just not on any bullshit if that's where you're trying to go" and leaves no doubt that I'm not interested, if he was in fact trying to make a move.

***

And I know I did the right thing because my Prince wrote me back almost immediately to say

Subject: RE: Hi Mrs Prince how are u by the way ?

This is why I love you. I could hug you right now. But I think I should still call and let him know that we aren't comfortable with the way he approaches you sometimes.

***

And because I know how hard it is for him to be without his friends and how much he enjoys hanging out with this group and these football trips I wrote back

Subject: RE: Hi Mrs Prince how are u by the way ?

Baby there’s no need for you to call him. It’s okay. That would be a difficult conversation and embarrassing for you both.I don’t want to make things strained with the football limes and them coming over and so on. And I still feel like we should give him the benefit of the doubt.

I also think that my e-mail should leave no doubt as to where my priorities lie - with you.

Dana

***

And he wrote back again

Subject: RE: Hi Mrs Prince how are u by the way ?

I love you so much

***

Ah, the things we do for love...

I Refuse to Be One of "Those" Brides

2008-04-14T08:42:00.007+01:00

I promised myself that I would not become one of those brides who gets obsessed with their weddings, because I've watched enough Bridezillas to know that that's the first step on the road to the crazies. But all of a sudden, something came over and I feel excited about the wedding.

I think it hadn't really hit me until I saw the proof for my Save-The-Dates. I opened the e-mail and then started to cry like a fool. It's funny because the proof wasn't even perfect, but I don't know, something about seeing it in print ...

In all my excitement I have discovered a love for eBay. More eBay.com than eBay.co.uk because everything on the U.S. site is half price for me since £1=$2US. So far, I have my Save the Dates, invitations and potential headwear all from eBay. I mean you can get seemingly ANYTHING there and at a bargain. And shipping is almost a non-issue because now I live in a country where I don't have to worry about SkyBox charges and things come straight to my door. You can even get people to send you samples.

I've been rushing to go home for the last week to see what new samples I get. It's like Christmas. I don't know why I wasn't more excited all along. I mean, it's a day that's all about me (and ThePrince and our marriage), but essentially about me; where I get to dress up and be the centre of attention and then there's also a party that's all about me (and ThePrince and our marriage). I mean, I get to shop

On Saturday I went with ThePrince to a Wedding Store called "Confetti" in Central London and we spent an hour looking at all the marvellous things they have - placecards, a million colours of rose petals, table decorations, invitations, bridal party presents, seating charts, wedding favours, personalised ribbons and cameras, bubbles. It was like being in a toy store. So many toys - so little time, not enough money to get every single toy... I had no idea there were so many things one could have. I made a list and will spend oodles of time searching for these things on eBay

I just realised that this is turning out to be another post that's just about me and my wedding. I don't want to be one of those brides whose every sentence is wedding related.

What will be next, me turning into one of those brides who go on insane diets to get super skinny to fit in their wedding dresses (I swear this will not be me)

Quick salvage attempt to make this post non-wedding related

I have a swimming lesson on Friday - want to brush up on my strokes
I'm trying to convince my cousin to take over my duties here when I leave to start my new job
My birthday is coming up (April 25). I'm going to be 26!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ThePrince has joined the gym but is freaked out by the Men's Bathroom. There are no shower stalls, it's just open space with several shower heads. The men walk around stark naked just like the ladies do which really disturbs him. He is afraid to shower because he thinks the men will be "checking out his manhood". He has gone so far now that he's bathing with short pants on over his boxers because he also swears that a man nodded at him when he was towelling himself dry, which in his world is a "pick up" or "appreciation of his package" neither of which sits well with him because he is so homophobic. Every time we go, when we're walking home I ask him to tell me how the shower went and laugh when he answers because his whole face changes. He really is bothered by the whole situation. Not enough to quit though. After 2 workouts I caught him feeling his pecs and flexing in front of the mirror and he insists that he's more muscular and cut already (4 workouts later)

So that's 3 non-wedding related tidbits!!!!!!! *Phew* I'm not just another boring bride-to-be then...

On the Road to the Wedding - Customer Service in Trinidad and Tobago

2008-04-08T08:09:00.007+01:00

Thanks to the hard work last week of Mama Bear, Sister Bear, SpiritualGuideandConscience, PrettyRedFriend, Scotty and Gary - I am pleased to announce that I actually have a date and location for my wedding.

It was a long road. A road which confirmed to me that I will never, EVER return home to live. I have just gotten used to certain things over here and I can't go back to the way things are over here.

What am I talking about? I am talking about Customer Service, which, in Trinidad and Tobago is BEYOND poor. It's piss poor. When I call a Helpline or office or whatever in London, even if they connect me to a Call Centre in Dubai I expect to be greeted pleasantly and then assisted, with my queries answered quickly, no attitude - just answers.

Businesspeople in Trinidad clearly do not understand that customer service sells the company and its product. At the end of the day I chose the hotel that was easiest to deal with - answered my one million questions with courtesy, called me Miss James, congratulated me on my upcoming nuptials, sent and responded to e-mails promptly, and did not stress me out.

Because planning a wedding is stressful enough, planning it from miles away is even harder and so I need to trust the people I am dealing with, know that they are professionals and know that I can count on them for support in a timely fashion, should I need it. I have no intention of getting stressed over this wedding. I don't want to have to deal with a separate florist, decorator, DJ and caterer. It all needs to happen in one place and I need one go-to person, not five or ten. Is that too much to ask? I think not, I am paying for it after all ...

You probably think I am over-reacting, putting down my country. That their customer service could not be that terrible. I'll tell you this - you should not take the ease of returning items and money-back guarantees that you enjoy now for granted.

I have too many examples of poor service in Trinidad to number but I'll give you five(5) examples from my wedding phone calls from least to most offensive and I am going to name names because everything I write really happened.

Tobago is a tourist island and should be geared toward good service. And you do get good service. All you have to do is mention that you're "from foreign". They'll bend over backwards to please you to get their hands on your £s or US$, but then once they hear you're "from foreign", the catch-22 is that the price almost doubles, or even triples. The bottom line is that if you want good service you have to be prepared to pay out of your a$$ for it and if you're local the attitude is "I'll get to you when I'm good and ready"

Ok, let me end the tirade and give my examples:

Rovanel's
After several requests for an e-mail with drink lists, menus and prices - it finally arrived this morning over a week later. Why does this upset me? Because these hotels must have this information stored, this is their business. How long does it take to attach some files to an e-mail and press send? 7 Days? I think not.

Grafton Beach Resort
Two (2) phone calls and two (2) e-mails later (1 from me and the other from a friend) I am still awaiting the promised information. The Guest Relations Manager said and I quote "I'll have to get back to you on that. We don't want a wedding so large that it disturbs our overseas guests". In other words, "To hell with you local peon, we have guests with US$"

Crown Point Beach Hotel
I called to ask about weddings for January and the snootiest woman, with a fake cut-glass accent told me "Oh no darrrrling, you cannot possible have your wedding here for the ENTIRE month of January. We're just fully booked. Completely. It's impossible. Why did you leave things until the last minute? You're much too late" and then she hung up. No "Goodbye", nothing. So she scolded me and then hung up. So while she speaks well she has no courtesy whatsoever. B*tch!

Tobago Plantations
Man at Switchboard: Hello (No name of company)
Me: Hello. Would you please put me through to the person who deals with weddings?
Man at Switchboard: Hello?
Me: *Slower* Hello. Would you please put me through to the person who deals with weddings?
Man at Switchboard: "No gyul, we doh do no weddings here right now nah"
Me: Ok. Thank you
I found out later they are in some kind of financial difficulty.

And finally... la creme de la creme

Tropikist
I called their office last Monday which was a Public Holiday that I forgot about (There are so many) and was told to call Marlene on Tuesday and was given a number. I duly called the number and asked for Marlene and the Receptionist said "Marlene cyah come to de phone right now nah, she in de toilet". Enough said. Needless to say, they were no longer an option.

I think you understand where I'm coming from now. And I am one Trini who refuses to take any of that treatment any more.

The Funeral

2008-04-04T22:54:00.005+01:00

Yesterday, a week later than anticipated, was my former housemate's memorial service. I psyched myself up for it. I knew it was coming. I said to myself "Dana you know she's dead. It's been two weeks. You've dealt with it, you've accepted it, you've moved on. There's no need for tears. You already cried and got it out of your system. This is just a formality"

Then I walked into the Church and got handed the Order of Service and the front two (2) places had huge photos of her. In colour. In living colour. Exactly as she was. And I started to cry right there at the start. And I am not a funeral-crier

It's a day later and I can't shake the melancholy. I am just ... sad. Every thing is running through my head - conversations we had; how we practiced our "Hot Wuk" dance with each other; how happy I was to finally met someone who loved Sizzla as much as I; the things the priest said about her; feeling her sister shudder when hugged her - we were both crying one of those cries that start in the pit of the stomach; the mass; the mother; the best friend. Everything just keeps repeating.

And it's a private grief. I don't want to talk to anyone. I am fed up of the platitudes. While it may be true that "She's in a better place" and "The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away", I don't want to hear it. It doesn't make anything better. Neither does the "Serenity Prayer" or some "Hail Marys" so to any one else who wants to suggest either - "Bugger Off". I don't want to hear it.

I feel really homesick. I just want to see everyone. And I miss my best friend...A lot

Laughing out Loud while Wedding Planning

2008-04-01T08:39:00.002+01:00

This morning I laughed out loud. A deep belly laugh. It felt so good.

I have found a site called Stuff Educated Black People Like and it is the funniest thing EVER. I confess that I am an EBP and guilty of many of the traits/behaviour pattern listed, but it is so good to be able to laugh at yourself sometimes. And I am not ashamed. I love NeoSoul and Jazz music, exclusive weddings, conferences, Advanced Degrees and Business Cards, baked chicken, CNN, Town Homes, Spas and talking about ghetto black people. I do, I admit it.

***

Even better than that, when I went on Wikipedia this morning to check the length of Trinidad (my colleagues were interested, don't ask) I saw that The Largest City in Trinidad is not Port-of-Spain but ... SAN FERNANDO!!!!!!!!! Oh yeah, take that horrible "Town" people *Sings* "Ah goin' down San Fernando, down dere have plenty Tempo" *End Song*

***

On Saturday my friend from Scotland MsOffshoreGeologist was in London and we spent the day catching up, getting beautified and eating Nando's but before I left home to meet her my Prince looked at me and said "Baby we need to talk". The dreaded words. And I knew what was coming so I said "But I have to meet MsOffshore Geologist"

And then he said "It will only take 5 minutes". So here are the 5 mins:
Prince: Baby do you love me?
Me: Of course I love you baby
Prince: Do you still want to get married?
Me: Of course I still want to get married baby
Prince: Then why aren't you excited about our wedding? You aren't planning; coming up with ideas; nothing's resolved; you don't even talk about it. I thought women got excited about these things like in the movies (Isn't he a cutie patootie)
Me: Baby...
Prince: Yes
Me: The last time we tried to wedding plan it just got crazy and it was overwhelming and no decisions were made and it just seemed like trouble.
Prince: I know, but the time is getting closer
Me: I know. Ok.... By the end of the week we'll have a date and location.

Famous last words. I forgot that yesterday was a Public Holiday in T&T so I pretty much lost the day with the making of enquiries but ... I am pleased to report that my Maid of Honour is earning her title. I brainstormed with her yesterday and she had some awesome suggestions. She looked at sites with me. She even volunteered to make calls. Very good little sister... your kung-fu impresses me.

So I'm here biding time, getting ready for 1:30p.m. (8:30a.m. Trini time) where I will proceed to bombard my 5 selected venues (Yes I have a short list) with questions in the attempt to fulfill my promise...

***

Oh, I almost forgot. Gary has a new girlfriend. (Thank God because as we know the last one was no prize). I am meeting her later. Well I am meeting him (to discuss the highfalutin menus I am getting from these places and whether or not it's worth the money they want to charge and which are the best options) and she'll be there. Updates to follow.