Moderatrix Musings

A Butterfly Story

2009-10-23T08:40:00.005-05:00

We went camping at Lake Whitney State Park with a homeschool group a couple of weeks ago and were lucky enough to be a part of something pretty neat. On checkout day, besides the family with which we had shared a campsite, all of the other families had already left. We decided to explore the park with our campsite-mates for a bit before departing. We had been seeing a lot of monarchs passing through on their annual migration to Mexico, and that afternoon, even with its high wind gusts, was no exception. While searching the beach for interesting rocks, I saw a monarch take a nose dive and land pretty hard.

It wasn't moving very well and kept getting blown about by the wind. So I did what any butterfly lover would do: I let it climb onto my hand and kept it protected from the gusts. My son took on the post of second in command of the butterfly protection brigade.

Upon closer examination, I could see that this butterfly had taken a lot of wear and tear. It was missing a couple of legs, and it had what looked to be an injury at the top of its thorax. It was not moving very much, and we feared the worst. When the rest of the group wanted to go find a better spot for skipping stones, we had to figure out what to do with it. Bug Barn to the rescue! The Bug Barn was our first ever homeschool project three years ago. My son did most of the building, and I did the painting per his instructions.

With some help, we were able to coax the butterfly into its new temporary home. Even within the shelter of an enclosed space, it was not active at all. We drove a ways to another area that proved to be a prime spot for skipping stones, and the contest between the boys (the grown ones, that is) ensued. I kept an eye on our new friend, and it eventually started to climb around a bit. When it was time for us to leave, the butterfly had become quite active, having gotten a nice rest away from the high winds. It was time to send it on its way. It didn't want to come out of the front door, so we had to take apart the side of the barn to get it to come out.

After it crawled out onto my hand, it took a brief flight of a few feet. But just when we thought maybe it had not rested enough and were considering what to do, it took off. As it climbed higher and higher, another monarch came into view and tumbled around in the air with our friend as if to say, "Come on, this way!" We watched them fly off together until we could no longer see them, feeling our hearts swell with the beauty of nature and the end of a great camping trip.

Epic Fail: EA Sports Active 30 Day Challenge

2009-09-30T12:25:00.002-05:00

So, this happened a while ago, but you know me, grand procrastinator extraordinaire. At the request of a friend, and with the promise of a free video game, I took on the 30 Day Challenge.

I was very excited at first, as I really could do with some fitness in my life. Each day provides a different set of exercises, which is good for variety. And there are also programmed-in 'rest days.' Things went pretty well for the first week, though I had a little trouble with the 'running - long.' The 'running' has you jogging in place, and you have to keep up a good tempo or the game shows you walking instead of running and tells you (albeit nicely) to step it up. I began to notice that 'running' of some sort was on the menu for every workout day. When it was 'short' or of a specific type (like high-knees - which is more like walking briskly while raising your knees as far as you can), it wasn't too bad. But then I started having trouble with my ankles.

With sore tendons/ligaments in my ankles, it became tough to do some of the exercises. As I mentally examined what was happening, I realized that I was actually injuring my ankles because jogging in place is NOT a natural movement. You use the joint in a completely different way than usual when jogging in place as opposed to running or walking normally. With so much jogging in place, there was no way to avoid injury. I could have, of course, opted to not do that part of the exercise routine (you can uncheck any of the exercises before the start of each workout), but then you don't get full credit for the workout, and the total calories burned is much less. And since this is done in a game-type environment, you are subtly encouraged to do the most that you can so you can earn 'trophies.'

After two and a half weeks, I missed a workout because I was ill for a couple of days. Then I didn't feel motivated to make it up because my ankles were hurting so bad, so I ended up just quitting the whole thing. It took another two weeks for my ankles to heal. When I talked to my friend who had passed the game onto me in the first place, she reported having the same problem with her ankles, and had quit at about the same point I had.

Overall, I think the game is OK if you do not do the 30 Day Challenge. You can just turn the game on and choose which exercises you would like to do for a custom workout. I feel like EA somehow missed something when designing this game, even though it was done with the help of 'experts.' Jogging in place that much just flat-out should not be a part of a regular exercise routine in my opinion. It is an unnatural movement and ends up over stressing the joint. I may end up using the other exercises as part of a regular workout routine, but I figure I can just run/walk/jog 'for real' on our treadmill.

Book Review: The Book of God and Physics by Enrique Joven

2009-08-07T14:53:00.004-05:00

This is a fascinating story interwoven with history, astronomy, alchemy and intrigue. Centered around a Jesuit trying to decipher it, the reader learns about the Voynich manuscript (which today is housed at Yale) and the mysteries surrounding it. The pages are dotted with many "Greats" of science such as Brahe, Kepler, and Galileo. For good measure, we also have Edward Kelley, John Dee, and a host of Jesuits and popes. Included almost as a side story is the debate between religion and science, creationism, intelligent design and evolution.

This book is more well written than Ian Caldwell's The Rule of Four,which, even though it shares the subject of old cryptic books, was a chore for me to finish. I found the translation of The Book of God and Physicsto be a bit clunky, so it didn't read as smoothly as The Da Vinci Code,but overall I enjoyed the story and found it hard to put down.

Book Review: FrameShifting by David K. Banner

2009-07-28T23:22:00.003-05:00

More spiritual memoir than guidebook, FrameShifting: A Path to Wholeness takes you along on Mr. Banner's personal journey looking for enlightenment. Many of the concepts he talks about are already familiar to me, but I did find it a nice reminder of ideas I hadn't thought about consciously for a while. I felt my own 'spiritual seeker' nature being rekindled. It may be that others will not be as familiar with the theories and practices he encounters, so they could serve as a jumping off point for further research.

I was, however, disappointed that he didn't go into greater detail on some of the techniques, sometimes giving only the barest of summaries, and I found the lack of good editing in some spots a little distracting. If the revised second edition I just noticed on Amazon corrects the editing issues, then this will be a much better book. On the whole, I believe this book could be inspirational to others on a similar spiritual journey.

Traumatized by Twilight

2009-06-30T00:52:00.002-05:00

***SPOILER WARNING*** If you have not read all four books of the Twilight Saga and intend to do so, you may not want to read this post.

I know my family has noticed that I've been acting strangely, but I haven't been able to bring myself to talk about it out loud just yet.

Reading about the relationship between Edward and Bella brought back memories that I had thought were long suppressed. Edward bears a striking resemblance to my first true love, *A*. At first, I only noticed the similarity in passing. But then, Edward used the same pet name for Bella that *A* used for me. Love. I was temporarily dumbstruck when I read it. Maybe it's because I don't read romance novels or something, but I don't recall ever reading this particular pet name before, even though it must be somewhat common. I almost couldn't continue reading. But only for a second. I mentally shook myself, called myself silly and pathetic and continued.

But the similarities just kept coming. Comparisons with Romeo and Juliet. Telling her he was no good for her, dangerous even. The over-protectiveness. And then he left her 'for her own good' and she sought solace with someone else. Later, a joyful reunion and an heirloom engagement ring. All of these things happened to me.

I know there must be scads of women out there who have had somewhat similar experiences in their lives. I don't see myself as special in that regard. It's not really the stories themselves that were traumatizing. It was that reading the books brought my old (17 plus years ago) memories back to the surface. But even that I probably could have dealt with. The memories may have resurfaced, but they were still blurry. Tempered by time. I spent spare moments marveling at my experiences back then. Many were unusual, which tied in nicely with the unusual nature of Edward and Bella.

But then my daughter asked me some questions about *A*. Simple questions really. Easy enough to answer. What was he like. How did we meet up again. But she was intensely curious. She's heard bits and pieces of this story over the years. After all, she's the product of the 'solace-bringer.' And he wasn't as understanding or as desirable an alternative as Jacob. She confessed that she'd always been secretly obsessed with the story. She seemed eager to hear more, wanted to see letters and keepsakes, though she said she would wait until I was ready to share.

Unable to help myself, two days later I pulled the box down from the closet. I read the letters, the calendar entries. Looked at the few photographs and the jewelry. And then I absolutely broke down. Luckily I was alone. You see, my story ended in tragedy rather than happily ever after. Now, don't get me wrong, I am incredibly happily married and have a wonderful family and my happily ever after now, but before that could happen, I had to live through hell. Because *A*, my first love, did not survive. After knowing each other for six years, he was gone a mere two weeks after I got that heirloom ring.

Looking through everything was possibly the worst thing I could have done. It's like the wound that had healed over with time was ripped open again. I've found myself absolutely raw with grief. Which has made it a tad bit hard to go about daily life. It's only been a couple of days, and I know it will get better. I'm just shocked at the depth of emotion that welled up out of me after all this time.

A positive that has come from this is that I've been able to recognize fully now the forces that have made me who I am today. I would not be who I am, nor would I have the interests I do, or feel so confident about my life's work if I did not live though all of it. The glorious AND the tragic.

EA Sports Active 30 Day Challenge

2009-06-13T15:50:00.002-05:00

A friend of mine asked me if I would like a free copy of EA Sports Activefor the Wii with the caveat that I try out the 30 Day Challenge. Why not? I thought - it's free and I could use a little exercise... Oh boy. I just finished the first workout and I'm still trying to catch my breath. Now I knew I was a little out of shape, but after that, I think I'm a LOT out of shape. I even chose 'low intensity' - and it was only a 20 minute 'let's get you started' workout. I hope that as I progress it will get easier. --That's the way exercise is supposed to work, right?

The game itself is pretty customizable. You choose what you look like body style wise (I was only a little tempted to be dishonest with that) and then of course your hair color and style, etc. You can even choose your workout outfit and shoes. There is also the option to not do some of the exercises if you have an injury or something that prevents you from doing it.

I had a little trouble with the leg strap at first (it's so you can drop the nunchuk in there for some exercises), but once I figured out it had to be all the way up on my thigh, it stayed on. And it was a little frustrating having the cord whack me in the face a few times while I was 'running.' There must be a learning curve here for how to hold the remotes...

The personal trainer character was encouraging during the workout without being too cheerleader-y which was a plus. And I even earned two trophies on my first day. One for completing the workout, and one for doing my first journal entry. You can enter your activities and food choices from the previous day in the journal as well as ticking off how you're feeling. This helps you track how 'healthy' you are, I guess.

The idea behind the 30 day challenge is to get you to do the workouts for a month (thankfully with two rest days per week) to help you get into the habit of exercising. I think there is also the supposition that if you are more active, you will make better choices with your diet. (It did ask me if I had any fast food yesterday...) So I guess we'll see how I feel a month from now... and whether my jeans fit any better!

Facebook Pressure

2009-05-02T18:00:00.002-05:00

I've finally succumbed. I've been refusing to get onto Facebook for months, all the while figuring out that practically EVERYONE I know is on. My husband joined a couple of months ago and has said he will help me get started. My refusals have had a lot to do with personal insecurities. I knew some of my family members were on as well as my friends. I only see most of my family on holidays, and I don't think that they really know that much about who I am the rest of the year. I wasn't sure if I wanted to open myself up to that. Then I found out that a friend who just got married posted her wedding pictures on Facebook. Did I really care so much about my insecurities that I would miss seeing pictures of a wedding I was unable to attend?

At this point I realized, Hey, I'm a grownup! I shouldn't be worrying about things like what people will think of me, right? So if you know me personally and do the Facebook thing, I've started up my profile. But for now, I will not be linking it to my blog or anything else I've done online anonymously. Baby steps you know.

Book Review: My Little Red Book by Rachel Kauder Nalebuff

2009-04-06T20:15:00.005-05:00

My Little Red Bookis a collection of true stories from women and teen girls about the experience of their first period. Reading this book is empowering. I've certainly never shared my personal story with anyone, but now I feel like it would be OK to do so. As the editor states, talking about periods, even just among women, is fairly taboo. One of the things I found striking is that girls' experiences could be so similar across the boundaries of time (from the early 20th century to the present) and space (from all around the world.)

I felt compelled to read 'just one more' of the stories every time I picked it up. Bravo to the editor for having the guts to share her story and then gather stories from others to share with the rest of the world. This book should become just as coveted by young girls as Are You There God? It's Me Margaret.

As a side note, when I was just about done with the book, my (newly adult) daughter asked me about certain cultural differences regarding first periods. I knew the answer only because of some of the stories. She insisted that she be next to read the book. I think I'll tell her MY story first.

Lament for History Lost

2009-03-17T11:38:00.004-05:00

I've just gotten home from a doctor's visit that accidentally resulted in an emotional detour on the way home. I normally see this doctor a little closer to home, but I needed to see him sooner rather than later, so I agreed to drive to his office in Dallas. Perhaps not surprisingly, I got a little lost upon leaving the office. I was close to downtown, so I knew that if I could find my way to Deep Ellum, I'd be able to get home, albeit by the long way. After turning a few times, I spotted Elm Street. I was home free.

But I had no idea what was in store for me. I spent a fair bit of time in Deep Ellum in my youth, beginning as a teenager when I served as an intern of sorts at my drama teacher's theater and leading to many nights spent club-hopping and afternoons browsing through eclectic shops. This was where I learned how to be cool. I had heard rumors that the area was dying, but what I saw was heartbreaking, the first thing of which was a faded announcement on the side of a building asking to save Deep Ellum and its 100 years of history.

The shops and clubs were almost all closed. The original signs were still there, but 'For Lease' or 'Rezoning Requested' signs hung on the windows and doors. I passed by the clothing shop, Moda, where these came from:

Articles, the home furnishings and unusual goods store was also closed. This was where an exclusive Christmas Party was held that I attended with my fiance two weeks before he died in a car accident on one of the highways leading into the area. I still have the invitation. And finally, the club, Trees, where I've seen many a band, and also where I lost my $100, custom made by a dental assistant, vampire teeth. Just a few weeks later it was the first place I went with my husband the night we met.

I don't know if anything will be done to save Deep Ellum. Maybe there are things underway right now of which I am unaware. I hope so. Perhaps its time has come though, as all things must pass eventually. I know I am not the only one who has had significant events take place here and has strong memories of this place. I've shared a little of my story in the hopes that it will at least add to the collective memory and keep the place alive in our minds.

Happy Square Root Day!

2009-03-03T20:34:00.002-06:00

Just a quick post to wish everyone a Happy Square Root Day! You know... March 3, '09? 3 times 3 is 9? Seems some people are celebrating with root beer. The next square root day will be April 4, 2016.

Can't wait until Pi Day...

Book Review: The Fire by Katherine Neville

2009-02-17T20:46:00.004-06:00

I was unfortunately a little disappointed by this follow-up to Katherine Neville's The Eight even though I wanted so badly for it to be good. I had been meaning to read The Eight for at least 15 years, so I finally put it to the front of the TBR pile when I received a review copy of The Fire.

I enjoyed The Eight immensely. It mashed up historical fiction, modern-day fiction, obscure history, esoteric lore and chess. I loved it. Oddly enough, even though The Fire has all of those things, it was just not as enjoyable. The historical plot line was done quite well, but the modern day plot line being told concurrently was a mess. I felt that the author tried to cram too much information into this one. Many times I found myself wondering if anyone without an interest in esoterica (like myself) could even follow what was happening. Usually an author will set forth enough of an explanation, either via dialogue or context, for things that are not mostly common knowledge. Not so in this case.

Characters coming to astounding conclusions from little information became another irksome factor. I had to assume that they had prior knowledge of which I, as the reader, was not privy. And then there is the character of Key. She has an annoying habit of spouting off aphorisms in what seems like every third sentence. This would maybe have been tolerable if the main character, Alexandra, didn't rattle them off for her in her absence: "As Key would say..."

Overall, I did like the idea of the story, and I liked the subject matters that were touched upon. But the ending was not an ending at all. Maybe that was the author's point, but I found it rather obscure and dissatisfying.

Free Books!

2009-01-24T16:49:00.003-06:00

A few months ago, I joined the Early Reviewers group on LibraryThing. You read a brief synopsis of a monthly batch of books and then 'request' those that spark your interest. They then choose members to receive each title, and the book is sent to them directly from the publisher; the only thing asked in return is that you read the book and post a review. I honestly didn't expect to ever be chosen since each title typically has 15-30 copies available, and people requesting each title is usually in the several hundreds, sometimes topping a thousand. So I was duly surprised when I got a message that I'd been chosen to receive one of the titles I'd requested. And then another. And another. I now have a short stack of books that have been moved to the front of the TBR (to be read) pile. I've finished the first one I chose to read, and I'll post my review in a few days once I've tweaked it a bit. Here's a picture of the books received thus far...

Well, not exactly true: I got a package yesterday with yet another book! Which I couldn't help but start reading as soon as I opened it. So I seem to have accidentally acquired another job - book reviewer. Well, I've always said that I wouldn't mind being paid in books...

Happy Holidays "T" You

2008-12-31T11:49:00.004-06:00

This year's Christmas gifts were quite a bit leaner than usual, including the elimination of a gift on Solstice night, but that doesn't mean you can't have fun with them. Thanks to the extreme generosity of a coworker, I was able to wrap up four presents for my son instead of two. This friend gave us two DVDs and two CDs that my son had put on his list. Since shopping and gifts would not be a major focus of this year's celebrations, we instead spent a lot of time watching holiday themed TV shows together. One of our new favorites is the Colbert Christmas Special. At the end of the special as the credits are rolling, Stephen Colbert advises us that his DVD would make the perfect Christmas present. But, he says, don't you just hate that when you wrap a DVD, it still looks like a DVD? He then suggests buying TWO copies and wrapping them perpendicular to each other - "then they'll think you got them a letter T!" Well, I had two DVDs to wrap; I couldn't resist:

I have never seen my son crack up as much as he did when he saw his "letter T" under the tree. Of course this was the first present he opened Christmas morning.

I hope everyone has had a decent holiday season this year. Ours was made much better by the generosity of others and the humor of Stephen Colbert. Thank you everyone.

Charity Work

2008-12-17T11:01:00.003-06:00

I had a bit of an adventure yesterday. During the holidays, you hear a lot of encouragement to help out with local charities. Some families make a yearly donation of money, food, or goods, or they actually go to a soup kitchen and help serve a meal. I've always thought this was a great idea, especially if you do it as a family. Right now I'm sure you're thinking that we must have done some helping of the poor yesterday. Well, you'd be wrong. My adventure was to be on the receiving end of said charity.

Basically we ran out of food and money. I only work part-time so that I can homeschool our son, but my meager income is the only guaranteed money that we have. The rest has to come from my husband, who does contract work. This fall, his major long-term agreement of trimming trees for a home owner's association was canceled because they decided to try and save money and get the actual neighborhood home owners to do it on a volunteer basis. We were counting on this money, and it was gone. We've been able to scrape by pretty well with his other much smaller jobs since this happened in August, all the while expecting the HOA to figure out that they weren't going to get anyone to volunteer, but somehow it just wasn't happening this month.

On Monday evening, I used the last of the frozen chicken we had, steamed the last handful of baby carrots and made the last box of macaroni and cheese. Once I did this, all we had in the cupboard was a pint of milk, some rice, a couple of packages of ramen, and peanut butter. Oh, and some stale cereal. As far as staples, we had a little flour and sugar left at the bottom of the canister, but no eggs, no bread, no cheese, no meat or vegetables of any kind. And we had $27 to last until the day after Christmas with low gas in both vehicles. I was a little stressed.

I remembered several years ago when we had been in a similar financial situation and I had gotten a sack of groceries from a nearby church. It wasn't the greatest of food, but it was something. So yesterday morning I called 211 (after looking it up online to make sure that I remembered right.) For those of you who don't know, 211 is like 911 for emergency human services. I told the operator my ZIP code and my need, food. She gave me a list of charities in my city with hours, addresses and phone numbers. I called them all to get further information about requirements. One required recent pay stubs, proof of residency, birth certificates and an interview, so I chose to not use that one as I didn't want to dig in the file cabinet. Or in the pile waiting to be put into the file cabinet... One told me that they had very little food available right now. One is only open two days a week at 8:30 AM, and you'd better come get in line at 8:00. But the other two seemed a little more accessible.

The first that I went to was the city charity. I was told that you can only receive food assistance once every two months. Fair enough. I did have to prove who I had in my household and fill out a form, but overall it was fairly simple. They gave me three paper bags filled with groceries, and I got to choose from a giant selection of day old bread. You know all those fancy artisan breads at the store that cost $4 and up? I guess they don't sell them all because that was mostly what was there. I got some wonderful oatmeal bread, a loaf a store bakery unsliced white bread, some rosemary and olive oil bread, some ciabatta rolls, a 4-pack of cream cheeses muffins and half an apple pie. In the sacks were some canned vegetables (expected), but also 2 boxes of spaghetti and three cans of spaghetti sauce, tomato soup (Campbell's, no less) and chicken noodle soup, pork and beans, canned diced tomatoes, canned black-eyed peas, real Spaghettio's, canned spaghetti and meatballs, ramen noodles, rice-a-roni and macaroni & cheese, dried pinto beans, packets of ranch dressing and turkey gravy mix, Manwich (with nothing to mix it with...) four apples, some fresh carrots, a box of cereal, a jar of peanut butter, a bag of frozen chicken nuggets, and a whole frozen chicken. I had tears in my eyes as I thanked them and took the groceries to my car. Who knew just being given food, such a basic necessity, would be so emotional.

Next I went to the mission. This is run by the large church downtown and takes up several city blocks. They run not just a food bank, but also a clothing bank, a night shelter, a day shelter, a free clinic, a small church, and a free Christmas store. Here I also had to fill out a form and talk to a worker about our situation. She pressed me for anything else I needed besides food. I had overheard someone else talking about needing kitchen things like a toaster and a blender. She prayed a very nice prayer for my family's financial situation to improve. I also had to answer creatively when she asked if I went to church or if I was a Christian - I didn't want to offend anyone. Here I got two plastic bags of groceries. One had bread - the same types as the other place, but I got different kinds here (two whole-grain artisan loaves, a loaf of sourdough and a small baguette.) There were canned goods in the other bag, two large cans of chicken, a can of turkey gravy, some more vegetables (including the kind we usually buy), a jar of peanut butter, cream of chicken soup, generic spaghettio's, canned fruit salad, more ramen and mac & cheese, and albacore tuna.

So now we have enough food for a few days. I'm going to freeze about half the bread to use later - there's no way we can eat all that bread before it goes bad no matter how good it is. We'll parcel out the $27 to get just enough gas (it's only $1.39 right now!)and some supplemental foods items like more milk. We'll be eating a lot at other people's houses next week for holiday gatherings, so we should be able to make it alright to next Friday's paycheck.

The moral of the story? It can happen to anyone, and charity does work. After seeing up close everyone being helped, I'll be donating more often now myself. In the past I have only done so when it was convenient, but people need help all the time. Not just when it's convenient, and not just during the holidays.

Completion

2008-10-16T18:12:00.003-05:00

Well, we've done it: We've finally finished Deathly Hallows. So, all of you people who have been so kind to my son and me as we lagged behind the rest of the world while scrupulously avoiding magazine articles and websites and conversations, thank you for your patience. You may now speak freely. And yes, I'd love to discuss with anyone who is still interested!

Once we actually started the book, it took less than a month reading one, two, sometimes three chapters a day. Sadly, Harry Potter reading is no longer a thrice weekly official subject at our homeschool. Even though I brightly suggested starting over again...

We can now safely join in the anticipation of the upcoming Tales of Beedle the Bard(and know what we are anticipating - I'm especially coveting the Collector's Edition)and look at news on the upcoming movies (despite the delay of #6 - grrrr) without fear of being spoiled. Upon finishing, we quickly logged onto JKRowling.com - a favorite that we'd been missing for some time, as well as Mugglenet and The Leaky Cauldron so we could catch up.

What a relief!

Summer Fun is Over

2008-09-02T13:12:00.006-05:00

Summer is officially over at my house. School has started (well, attempted to start - the only reason I'm posting right now is that my son fell asleep on the couch during our first French review...) Anyway, I had intended to post about our trip to Denver for the International New Age Trade Show soon after we got back, but yeah, that didn't happen. Better late than never I always say.

Besides ordering more products for my still non-functioning online store (because more stuff to sell is more important than being able to sell it, right?), we visited some touristy type things like Pike's Peak and the zoo. I'd post a picture from Pike's Peak if we hadn't left the camera in the car. Oh, but we've got plenty of zoo pictures - because everyone needs more of those... Here's one now:

Why do we feel compelled to take these pictures?!! On another note, we saw this little guy roaming around right next to the wolf's 'enclosure.' Run away little rabbit!

All right, here's some ~~typical~~ better Colorado pictures. One from Boulder Falls:

And another from the Denver Botanical Gardens:

All in all we had fun when we weren't in our ~~closet~~ motel room. Seriously, we were trying to save money, but come on - a whole room/suitcase area/bathroom setup that could easily fit into my son's bedroom? Well, we did save a lot of money, and I guess it was clean at least.

OK, I better go wake up my son now and torture him some more with "Quelle heure est-il?"

Addled

2008-08-09T19:16:00.004-05:00

That's how I'm feeling at the moment. I'm guessing it's stemming from a combination of Levaquin and Toradol, both of which say "may cause dizziness" on the label. So, why do a blog post while feeling woozy? Why not? Since this is medication induced, let's talk about why I'm in this predicament.

An outside observer might think that I enjoy going to the doctor. I certainly spent enough time there as a child. Not for anything serious, of course, usually just bad hay fever leading to lovely things like bronchitis. Nowadays, though, it's just a string of one doctor visit after the other, all different kinds of specialists. Lots of fun medical tests. (Insert sarcastic laugh here.) Why, just this past summer I've had an IVP (a type of x-ray of the kidneys), a cystoscopy (avoid this one at all costs if they ever suggest it to you), a colonoscopy, and an abdominal CT (because don't we just love drinking barium.) Up next is a HIDA scan and a sonogram. Apparently, the cause of abdominal pain can be hard to figure out. I'm glad I have insurance.

So, I've dealt with pain before. I have a recurring kidney stone problem due to my body's apparent inability to balance vitamin D, calcium and all those other nice things without outside intervention. So the good old parathyroid says, hey, we need more calcium in the blood, let's get it from those bones, they don't need it. Well, let me tell you, bone pain is not a nice thing. But it stays away as long as I maintain supplements. Kidney stones are not a walk in the park either; luckily mine are usually small and pass easily.

But I have another source of pain lurking in my past. Endometriosis. I had a total hysterectomy and bilateral oopherectomy 10 years ago because of it. I though I was cured, I thought I was safe. Five years ago, I had unexplained abdominal pain. Once the gastroenterologist couldn't find anything serious, he suggested that it was the endometriosis. Surely not, I thought. My gynecologist at the time concurred. Preposterous! he said - it was all cleaned out in 1998. Luckily, my pain improved.

Fast forward a couple of years. It's now the Fall of 2006, and I have symptoms of too much estrogen. You know, weight gain, sore, lumpy breasts... My dosage of estrogen has not changed in 8 years, why would this be happening? Maybe it's because you're getting older says my endocrinologist. We'll just lower your dose. The gynecologist orders an obligatory mammogram (since those are so much fun), which is normal of course. Oh, maybe you should cut out caffeine. OK, I say (as I grumble to myself that one soda a day is not just a whole heck of a lot to begin with.) But without the caffeine dependency and with the lower estrogen dose, I do feel better. I just can't skip breakfast anymore. Turns out you need food to have energy in the morning.

So, just over a year later in early 2008, I start having pain again and I need a bigger bra cup size. Have I gained any weight? No, not really, just a few pounds. Not enough to explain needing bigger everything. Bra, underwear, jeans (two whole sizes bigger for those). I've worn the same size underwear for my whole adult life - even when I've weighed more than I do now. So why does it suddenly seem like they got sent through the shrink ray?! Complicating matters is an increase of kidney stones. But, with additional medications, they get under control. So why is this other stuff getting worse?

Off I go to the urologist when the pain becomes unbearable. Maybe there's a stone stuck in there after all. Nope, she says after checking me out thoroughly, you should go see a gastroenterologist, do you have one? Well, I guess I do, even if it has been five years. At this point, I'm thinking, I want to check EVERYTHING out, so I make an appointment with my new gynecologist also (the old one retired.) So, the gastroenterologist orders all the usual tests (see above) but asks me about endometriosis. He's satisfied when I tell him I have a gynecologist appointment. Of course all his tests are negative (well, I haven't had the HIDA scan yet, but I'm going to assume), and I'm wondering what the heck is going on.

I haven't read anything about endometriosis in 10 years. Why would I need to, I was cured, right? But after discussing this whole mess with my mom, I looked at a book and some websites on Thursday. I had no idea that hysterectomy was not a cure. I knew that surgery to laser it all off pre-hysterectomy wasn't, it would just grow back. But I had been told that this surgery was the penultimate. Anything small that they missed would die off, and of course, they would do their best to not miss anything. Well, that's all wrong. I think this article tells it the most succinctly. The most likely reason (it seems to me) I'm having high estrogen symptoms is that there is endo growing in there still, and it's producing it's own estrogen. The gynecologist agreed that it was pretty likely this was what was going on (my appointment was yesterday.) But the only way to know for sure is another laparoscopy (I've had two previously - a really long time ago.) She wants to rule out a couple of things first (hence the levaquin and upcoming sonogram), but more than likely there's a surgery in my future. I guess we'll see once and for all, soon enough.

Neglected

2008-08-01T09:06:00.002-05:00

That's how my blog feels. It hasn't been updated in a while, and I've had several posts floating around in my head for over a month - they haven't even made it to draft stage. I have pictures to show, stories to tell, and thoughts I've pondered to muse about. That list of books we're reading in homeschool on the right over there is probably three months old. His summer reading isn't even worth the time to put up over there; he goes through a new book every day or two. (We keep running out of books for him!) Heck, I finished two of the books I say I'm reading long ago (only two of them though, the Dreamweaver book, not so much - still working on that enormous thing), and I've read another couple besides.

So, here's my pledge: Over the next week, I'll try to post as many of those posts that are in my head as possible. AND, I'll update the books section and any other thingies/buttons I've stuck over there and have long forgotten about. Deal?

School's Out for Summer

2008-06-18T17:57:00.004-05:00

So this post is a little late. We've been done with school for a week and a half already. My goal was to have everything completed by the end of May, and we finished a week late only because we spent that time at my parent's house when my grandfather became very ill suddenly, and ultimately passed away.

Our last few weeks consisted of cramming as much French instruction in as we could stand in order to finish the book. It seems that those textbooks get more in depth and difficult as you get towards the end. Who'd-a thunk? We also did the final three tests for math in the last week (that should have been done starting three weeks earlier...ahem). We finished all of our science and history for the year about the middle of May, so that helped with trying to get the other subjects finished. But we did decide to postpone a library skills unit until next year, as I hadn't realized how long it would actually take when I stuck it into the syllabus.

I feel so much relief that we'll have a real summer vacation this year. Last year we only had about six weeks break before we started up again. We're actually taking a trip this summer, next week to be exact. We'll be heading to Colorado for some fun and a little business, too. We're going to check out INATS to look for some new products to have on hand once I finish building our website. For the first time in about four years, I am actively working on the site, and I am really excited. I'll let y'all know how it's coming. I may start a separate blog to update on the business stuff, but I'm still mulling all that over.

The Rising Cost of Food

2008-05-07T12:51:00.002-05:00

Something interesting has happened during our recent forays to the grocery store. The prices of most basic foodstuffs have increased by 50%, and in some cases 100%. We don't buy just a whole lot of prepackaged goodies, usually we buy the basic building block ingredients and create our own goodies (cookies and the like), so we don't often encounter sudden higher prices. I guess I should have seen it coming when milk prices went up a while back. According to the news, this is happening all over the world and wreaking havoc on the lives of just about everyone.

Now, I'm not going to go into a political/ecological rant about the whole thing, that's not the purpose of this particular post. I just wanted to point out an unexpected personal consequence of higher prices: it has become easier to justify buying organic products. They are no longer much more expensive than non-organic; they're just a little bit more. My first encounter with this was at the eggs. Normally, a dozen regular, factory-produced, grade A, large, white eggs would cost me $1.29. They've been this price for I don't know how long. So I am astonished when one day, out of the blue, they're $1.99. What?! So, this causes me to look around at the other eggs I usually ignore. In the top of the egg case, there's a nice carton of brown, organic, hand-gathered eggs from free-roaming chickens for $2.19. I normally wouldn't feel OK with spending almost twice as much for the nice eggs, being on a tight budget and all. But now they're actually a viable option at only 20 cents more. I found this theme repeated throughout the store with the butter, cheese, etc. In some cases the organic and/or locally grown option was exactly the same price as the 'regular' stuff with the new inflated prices.

So, I'm wondering if this is going on in other parts of the country as well. If other shoppers are as attentive and actually start choosing the 'better' options, couldn't that translate to a boost for our own economy? Especially our local ones? I think the main reason people don't buy these types of items more often is that they are cost prohibitive for most of us. If suddenly they're not so outrageous, maybe things can improve as an unintentional consequence of recession/inflation. Or do I just need to get my rose-colored glasses adjusted?

The Irony of the Spheres

2008-04-23T11:00:00.010-05:00

First, let me explain. I was browsing through the homeschool section of a Christian bookstore because, other than used (which can be extremely difficult to find in good shape), the only real place to buy our Saxon homeschool math text is at one of these stores. Gut-wrenching, I know.

So, as I was browsing, I spotted a series of creation science texts, and my curiosity was piqued. There's a whole line of these on individual science subjects. I picked up the one on astronomy as it purported to be authored by a real astronomer. I'm pretty sure it was this one.Now, I must confess that my only real scientific education has come from watching innumerable TV shows like "The Universe," which I guess may be more than a lot of people, but still, I'm no scholar. I skimmed through the book and found some pretty good astronomy information, but it was of course based in creationism which I found intriguing. I've always wondered how they explain things. As a child growing up in a Christian home, I reconciled the ideas of creation with the Big Bang by deciding that we didn't know how long a "day" was according to God. Apparently, according to the astronomy book, this is a common wayof explaining things among some Christians, but it's wrong. It went on to show that the original Hebrew for "day" that is used in the creation passages means specifically 24 hours. Again, I'm not a Hebrew scholar either, so I have to take the author's word for it.

While explaining astronomy from a biblical, the universe was created in 6 literal days point of view, the author spent quite some time explaining what's wrong with the other points of view. One of the points that stuck with me and will require me to do some actual in-depth research and thinking was two-fold. Apparently, scientists use the problem with the distance of stars from us and the time it takes for light to reach earth as evidence that the earth was NOT created 6000 years ago. The author states that this is not a problem because we are dealing with supernatural explanations, e.g. God, anyway, and he could have set things up any way he wanted (I believe this is also the explanation for dinosaur fossils.) He then goes on to say that scientists have their own problem of a similar nature regarding distance and heat. He says that if the Big Bang were true, then there should be pockets of space that are warmer or colder than each other, since warmer and colder areas would have resulted from the current Big Bang model and that since the universe's expansion happened so fast, there would have been insufficient time for the temperature to even out. Now, call me ignorant, go ahead it's OK, especially if you're an astronomer, but it seems to me that if the universe has been around for billions of years, then there has been ample time for the temperature of the universe to even out.

OK, back to the irony title of this post. We hold a discussion group on Friday nights at my house, and I thought it would be interesting to discuss some of this, especially as some regulars know more about science and astronomy than I do. Of course I didn't want to pay full price for the book or give the author his portion of the proceeds, so I looked on Amazon for a used copy. Imagine my surprise when I typed "astronomy creation science"into the search box under books and came up with 666 results. I just had to laugh and, of course, share. I guess as books are added and subtracted the results number may change in future, but today it's funny!

Pi Day 2008

2008-03-14T19:33:00.003-05:00

Happy Pi Day everyone! We've celebrated today with discussions of Pi and the watching of videos on YouTube. We checked out PiDay.org and talked about Daniel Tammet, the savant who holds the European record for reciting Pi (over 20,000 digits!) His book, Born on a Blue Day, was very interesting BTW. This led to talking about Kim Peek, the original Rain Man.

Well, I must be off, it's time for chocolate-banana...

Here's a funny cartoon to keep you company while I'm gone. Oh, and if anyone's ever looking for a gift idea for me...

The Texas Caucus Ruckus

2008-03-05T18:43:00.006-06:00

This post comes late in the day as I've been trying to recover from last night while still getting in a little bit of homeschool. Call it caucus exhaustion.

Last night our precinct caucus took until 2 AM and was conducted for the most part, outdoors. Unbelievable right? And yet this story was repeated across the state. Our precinct polling place is a small polling place (maybe 800 square feet) that is used for 8 different precincts. When we arrived earlier in the day to vote in the Primary, we stood in line for about an hour or so, something we expected. But we were astonished at the small size of the building. Having just moved to this area recently, this was our first time voting here. So it was with some trepidation that we returned at 7 PM for the caucus.

For those who are unfamiliar with the caucus process in Texas, you must return to your polling place after the Primary has closed in order to sign in under your candidate of choice. Once everyone from that precinct has signed in, delegates are elected to be sent on to the County and then the State Convention where final delegates are chosen for the National Convention. One third of the total delegates from Texas are determined in this process. Each precinct has a specific number of delegates based on the size of the precinct, and the candidates are assigned delegates based on the percentage of supporters that return to caucus. There are lots of regulations governing this process along with how many delegates are assigned to any given precinct. You can read more about these rules here.

The caucus is supposed to start at 7:15, or as soon as the last voter in line for the Primary at 7:00 has cast their ballot. In our case, the last ballot was cast shortly before 10 PM causing everyone who had returned for the caucus to wait. Outside. In the mud. As temperatures dropped from the mid 50s down to the upper 30s, this was a test of resolve for many. In our area, there were a lot of Obama supporters; I would guess well over a thousand people. We had a much smaller group of Hillary Clinton supporters, but we were all determined to stick it out. As the night wore on, many Obama supporters gave up and went home. I'm sure the TAKS test being today was a factor for some who have kids. We knew that the more of them that went home, the higher the percentage of delegates we would have. In the end, only a couple of us left.

When the Primary voting was close to being done, we were grouped by precinct. Ours, number 2031, was told to meet "over there by the streetlight." Others were told to meet "in that parking lot," or "by that building." We waited here for more than an hour while the papers required (the 'packet') for the caucus were being prepared: essentially the list of everyone who voted in the Primary for that precinct. When this was close to being ready, we were called to come get into two 'lines' depending on whether we were 'Today Voters' or 'Early Voters.' This was at around 11 PM. After maybe another hour, we were able to actually start signing in. At this point, we had about 150 people left from our precinct. Two other precincts were about the same size as us, and we were allowed to caucus before them. The other precincts were much smaller and had gone before. Just after 1 AM, the last voter signed in. With only around 40 people remaining, it was time to choose delegates. What had started out as *guesstimating* 200 Obama supporters to our 22 became just over 120 to 22. That's a jump from 10% to nearly 20%. We had gained an extra delegate by sticking it out. In the end, myself and my husband were nominated as alternate delegates; we chose additional alternates in case we were assigned additional delegates after the audit by the precinct judge. It was 2 AM: time to go home.

Now for the fun part: the "irregularities." Or, why our caucus rolls are being audited by the precinct judge. Early on, after we had been allowed to line up, a shouting match broke out about how to follow the rules. We called the police at this point to request assistance, just in case. Keep in mind that it was cold, there are no restaurants within walking distance, and no public restroom. Before we received our 'packet,' there was discussion about just signing our names and votes on notebook paper, rather than waiting for the official voting documents, so everyone could go home. Apparently the two other large precincts were doing just that after contacting the Obama campaign and being told that this is what the precincts should do, and that they (Obama's people) would make sure it would be counted. Our precinct was discussing this, loudly and with much opposition, when our 'packet' finally came out, making the discussion moot. Another instance occurred which required my husband to run and get the police from his post on the corner. Apparently, people that were not from our precinct were signing in on our rolls. All while our Hillary supporting precinct chair was away from the table for a moment. Highly illegal. The people at the table, all Obama supporters, were a little more diligent after this. After everyone had signed in, questions were raised, to much shouting, as to how well the voters were checked to verify that they had voted in the Primary. Because you can't caucus if you haven't voted. This issue was not resolved last night, hence the selection of additional alternates for Hillary. Watching the news today, I've seen reports of multiple "irregularities" committed by Obama supporters all over the state. Knowing what our neighbor precincts were being told by the campaign, I wonder how many of these "irregularities" were carried out on instructions from Obama's people.

All in all it was a highly educational experience for us; we were literally living history. And it was interesting enough to draw at least two news crews to our polling place. We'll count it as our son's 'Civics' requirement. He was a real trooper, and I should thank the fellow Hillary supporter who let him use the bathroom at her house down the street. It was also exciting for my daughter, currently enrolled in college government. She kept us updated regularly via phone about the results as more precincts reported results. Every time my phone would ring, our group would gather round with bated breath. The excitement built as Hillary pulled from a little bit behind to ahead by more and more throughout the night. As other supporters said repeatedly last night, "Hillary, you go girl!"

Vermont Goodness

2008-03-02T21:16:00.002-06:00

This week I've experienced the ultimate in cheese toastiness, and I thought I should share.

It all started when I visited Vermont last summer with my BFF and her fam for her birthday. We did the whirlwind tour of the state by doing as many factory tours as we could fit into two days. Of course souvenirs were picked up along the way, including some Sage cheese from Sugarbush Farm (which didn't make it home with me - but I was able to order it from them online) and a French Herb bread mix from King Arthur flour.

Which leads me to this week. Being a champion procrastinator, I still had not made the bread or eaten the cheese. While the cheese was safe inside its wax coating, the bread mix was due to expire in the middle of March. So I sprung into action. The bread was easy enough to mix, and I even remembered to put my rings back on my fingers after kneading. It turned out deliciously; even my picky pickerton son loved it. Then the cheese was opened with much fanfare, butter was smeared on top of a slice of bread, two slices of cheese were put on top of the butter, and all of the above was placed under the broiler for just the right amount of time. Ooey gooey scrumptiousness. If I'd been smart I would have taken a picture to post. Alas, I'm a loser. You'll just have to trust me then.

In case you're wondering, other wonderful places visited were the Simon Pearce blown glass factory, Green Mountain coffee, Cold Hollow Cider Mill, and, of course, Ben and Jerry's.

Hillary for President

2008-02-26T11:40:00.002-06:00

Texans, vote for Hillary at the March 4 Primary. Don't forget to COME BACK at 7:00 for the Precinct Convention process where the actual delegates are chosen. Otherwise you may be represented by someone who supports a candidate that you don't.

Check out these sites for inspiration:

HillaryClinton.com

Hillary Speaks for Me
(This is where I originally saw a slightly different version of the above video. The (presumably) first version actually has some good things in it about NLP and mind control. Who's bamboozling who?)

Obama is 'Just Words.' His 'inspiring' speeches contain no substance. His feel-good catch phrases are merely hypnotizing the people. Hillary has the long-term experience, and she knows how to make decisions and get things done. She backs up her statements with REAL plans. See ya at the Primary.