Joel's World

Go Hawkeyes!!!!

2009-11-14T09:13:00.001-08:00

"30 Rock" and Chiefs fans enjoy....

2009-11-09T11:10:00.001-08:00

An Open Letter to the Football Gods

2009-11-09T08:12:00.000-08:00

Dear Football gods,
Realize that the mere publication of this could ruffle the feathers of those sarcastically-impaired folks who might believe that another pastor has eaten the forbidden fruit of idolatry. This attempt to communicate to you could lead me to such punishments as having to write the Shema 500 times, have the 1st Commandment tattooed on my forehead, or even the worst punishment of all...a meeting. I don't care. I'm willing to take the hit on behalf of the good people of my home state of Iowa, who have taken the hit more often than not.
I'm asking you to do the impossible and give my Hawkeyes one more miracle. Yes, you have dealt us a difficult blow. After tantalizing us with talk of undefeated dreams and BCS glory, you brought the purple GPA masters, the Northwestern Wildcats, into our house and allowed them to beat us. Worse than that, you basically did it on one play that netted the Wildcats a defensive touchdown and our QB, Ricky Stanzi, a high-ankle sprain that essentially leaves us with a redshirt freshman quarterback starting with our fourth choice for running back going into one of your most famous shrines, the Horseshoe in Columbus, Ohio to play the almighty Ohio State Buckeyes.

Hear my plea.

There is no doubt that the people of Ohio are good people. Eight US Presidents, the most famous astronaut, and Joe the Plumber all hail from the Buckeye State. The good people of Ohio love football more than anything and with the Browns and Bengals you have really given them nothing to be excited about except OSU football (granted you have been kind to the Bengals this year.) And, with the jobs that have been shed in Ohio with the collapse of the automobile industry, they needed something to be happy about. But they got their bailout and a little program called Cash for Clunkers that helped them out.

But the farmers of America get no love. You don't hear the President offering a "Cash for Corn" program, do you? And you don't often hear our farmers complain about not getting any help because they know how to help themselves. And when things go bad for Iowans, they don't act like whiny victims of conspiracy theories. They work, they love their God, they love their country, and other than a few strange folks in the state, they love their Hawkeyes. I submit to you that my home state has taken enough beatings. For instance, Iowa is the home state of one US President who is remembered by US News and World Report as "a poor communicator who fueled trade wars and exacerbated the Depression." Iowans are often targeted as being hicks (Iowans consistently score higher than most states...you didn't take the California Basic Skills test, did you??), being in the middle of nowhere (instead of being the center of it all), or being behind the times. But are the times we live in really worth keeping up with?

Let me get to the bottom line. Iowa needs a miracle on Saturday against Ohio State. A bunch of under-hyped, passed over, 3 star recruits being headed by a red-shirt freshman QB playing in a hostile environment against 5-star blue-chip athletes stand little or no chance without your help. At stake is a big-time bowl game...the Rose Bowl, sitting just an hour from my house, waiting for me to see my beloved Hawkeyes. Besides, the Big Ten really could do without having to be subjected to Ohio State being owned in a big bowl game again. Just give the Hawkeyes a chance and I trust you will not be disappointed.

One last thing. I'm asking this as a personal favor who has faithfully endured some of the crappiest football in recent history. My NFL team has won 7 out of it's last 41 games. Finally, my college team is on the brink but looking troubled. Get them over the top and I will be forever grateful.

Sincerely,
Joel Plantinga

PS, Thank you for getting Larry Johnson out of my life.

Don't Let This Happen To You, Kath-I!!!!!

2009-11-03T07:07:00.001-08:00

Wayward Pilots

2009-10-27T20:39:00.000-07:00

The story's been pretty well told now, so I'm sure you know that there was a flight from San Diego to Minneapolis/St.Paul that took a scenic tour of Wisconsin on the way down.

Apparently, the plane went incommunicado a little past midway through the flight until they finally reestablished contact with ground control after a flight attendant reportedly knocked on the door and wondered what time they'd be landing. While initial speculation was that the pilots were sleeping, it appears they were distracted by both being on their laptops.

Huh?

So what were they doing on their laptops?

Clearly they WEREN'T on flighttracker.com. Nor were they on any site that had pictures of the Twin Cities' skyline on it (they flew right over them). Maybe, as my wife suggested, the pilots were taking care of their farm on Farmville. I wonder if they were tweeting. @aloofpilot is flying a jet plane! It is entirely possible that they were on some flight simulator program, brushing up on their skills. You can never have enough practice, right?

The truth is that the pilots were on the airline's new crew scheduling program, apparently checking it out together. Fortunately now they have plenty of time to safely look at it because their licenses have been revoked by the FAA. So while they can enjoy the program, unfortunately their names will no longer be listed as active.

Seriously, how do two professional pilots, flying a commercial aircraft, become that unaware of their surroundings? They were probably a few minutes from having armed Air Force jets approaching them. I have to wonder if there could be legal proceedings like negligence at play here? That's just awful. Can we open the cockpit doors again?

Surprise!

2009-10-09T11:12:00.000-07:00

The President was awakened this morning with some surprising news: he had won the Nobel Peace Prize! Sure enough, Jimmy Carter v2.0 has reached the same status as Al Gore (by the way it's supposed to snow in Chicago this weekend.), Jimmy Carter, Yasser Arafat (a fine terrorist back in the day), and the United Nations (who single-handedly fed Saddam Hussein's war machine through a genius program called Oil for Food.)

The announcement said that Obama was being recognized "for his extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples."

A few thoughts:
1. The above-quoted announcement is a euphemism. What they MEAN is "You and your teleprompter have acceptably groveled at the feet of the world. Your apology tour was a smashing success in the streets of Paris, Stockholm, Moscow, and Rome. Your commitment to morally bankrupt organizations like the United Nations is exemplary. Your determination to weaken your own country through continued out of control spending and printing money, along with your inability to successfully accomplish anything of value is stunning. Your speeches are eloquent and while void of any concrete plans, make our ears tingle and livers quiver. Your refusal to use ugly American words like evil, terrorist, and Islamic Fundamentalism is much appreciated. Well done, citizen of the world!"

2. The prize brings an embarrassment of void to the White House. Notice the President's own response to the news: "Let me be clear: I do not view it as a recognition of my own accomplishments, but rather as an affirmation of American leadership on behalf of aspirations held by people in all nations." Last I checked, Mr. President, the world is seeking to circumvent the United States. It shines the light on an ugly truth. With a blank check and all the resources at his disposal, President Obama has produced NOTHING of change either domestically or internationally.

3. These awards are indicative of a world view that dominates the elite parts of our world...a view that I reject with all of my being. They hold the same naive view of the world that empowered dictators like Hussein and Hitler: if you appease them, ignore them, or go around them, you are intelligent and peace-loving. History tells a much different story. Evil unchecked and unaccounted for is capable of unlimited destruction. And while contemporaries rarely hold such a view, the annals of history give the true prizes to those who have the courage to be unpopular in order to do what is right.

I hope I'm wrong. The stakes are too high for me to be right.

I Miss You Jared Allen

2009-10-06T08:05:00.001-07:00

In honor of Jared Allen's 4.5 sacks, safety, and forced fumble, I present my own likeness of the great #69:

Chicago 2016?

2009-10-01T21:59:00.000-07:00

It's well-known that President Obama is soon to be on his way to Copenhagen, Denmark to lobby the voting members of the International Olympic Committee to award the 2016 Games to Chicago. The first lady is already there along with aide Valerie Jarrett, Oprah, and others from the Chicago entourage putting on a full-scale charm offensive in hopes that the IOC will have the same epiphany so many Americans had in 2008 that they just...simply...HAVE to go with Obama.

First of all, I'm glad the President was able to find some free time to work hard for Chicago. It's not like we have a languishing war strategy in Afghanistan, continued turmoil over the health reform initiative he launched, rising unemployment, or a problem with nations like Iran, North Korea, or Venezuela. Ok, so a President can multi-task.

The stakes are indeed very high. A lot of dead voters in Chicago cemeteries are waiting with expired breaths to see if all their hard work for the Daley mob er...family is going to pay off. According to Tokyo Governor Shintaro Ishihara, “I think this (the 2016 Games) could be the last for mankind.” He said, "Global warming is getting worse. Scientists have said that the earth has passed the point of no return."

Oh wow. This IS serious. Fortunately, the US hopes are in good hands. If anyone knows how to woo a corrupt organization like the International Olympic Committee, it's a group of Democrats from Chicago. I have complete confidence that unlike health care reform, actually closing Guantanamo Bay, fixing the economy, executing a winning war strategy, stopping global warming, healing the sick, and saying anything profound NOT in the presence of a teleprompter, our President can get it done.

You and I have already figured out this President. Charisma sans results, platitudes without progress, and theory before practice are coming to define the man. Imagine what he'd be without a super majority of Democrats in both houses of Congress! Fortunately for Mr. Obama, most representatives of the IOC are ACTUAL European socialists, unlike these wannabe-Democrats in Congress who have decided that it's not necessarily in their own interests to follow his leftist agenda. And believe me, they are ready to listen and open for business.

One IOC voter from Britain said this:
"Because it is so close. Things develop, things change minute by minute, particularly when you get into an atmosphere like this, with 48 hours to go." Let me translate that for you. Bring me your fruit baskets, cash, money orders, and favors. The winner of this "contest" won't be the best city, it will be the one that buys it best. I have a feeling we're bringing a different kind of "change" you can believe in, if you know what I mean.

Oy Vey

2009-09-24T10:43:00.000-07:00

Glad to see our kids are learning the proper worship of our Groveler-In-Chief.

Rejected by the People

2009-09-22T20:16:00.000-07:00

Yeah, so I was on call for jury duty this week. Yesterday I got the good news: I was to report to the Los Angeles County Superior Courthouse in Lancaster for further instructions.

Let me start with a couple things. First, I actually wanted to serve. I think it's good for people to participate in the criminal justice system and if you complain about all the things that are wrong with it but are seeking ways to get out of it, then you have no right to complain. Further, while the service does cause a disruption in one's schedule, it's really minor when you consider the disruption that countless men and women make when they volunteer to serve our nation in the military.

I'm also intrigued by criminal justice. I learned from Tree (who served on a murder trial) that we are one of only six nations that use a jury system to resolve criminal/civil matters. There are nations who have variations of it, but the judge helped all of us gain a better appreciation for our system. I love the process of law and order, and enjoyed the opportunity to see the preliminary stages of the process at work.

Here are some observations from my process. First, the system is very well-run. The assembly room is a spacious, well-stocked room with computers, books, magazines, puzzles, and soft chairs. Now I must admit it was a bit daunting to see a 1,000 piece puzzle sitting there. Were we going to have THAT much time on our hands?

After watching a video of the process and hearing from one of the judges, the first cut was made. 55 of us were chosen to go up to the courtroom where the trial would occur. I made that cut and proceeded to the courtroom. When I walked in, the first thing I noticed was that everything and everyone was in place. The judge, clerk, recorder, attorneys, bailiff (not Rusty from People's Court), and the defendant were seated. Once seated, all 55 of us were briefed by the District Attorney and Defense Attorney on the basic case (what charges were filed, what were the general circumstances, etc.) While I sat there I wondered what went through the minds of those jurors chosen for the OJ Simpson trial when they walked in and saw "the Juice" sitting there. I guess I'm more curious what went through their minds after they deliberated and found him not guilty.

At that point, 18 numbers were called and seated in the jury box and a row of chairs in front of them. The entire list of potential witnesses was read to us and we were asked if we knew anyone involved. I was not in the original 18 and sat where court observers normally sit while the judge and attorneys took all 18 potential jurors through a questionnaire. The questions were statistical (what you do, what your spouse does, have you ever served, do you know the defendant, etc.) and then prejudicial (have you been a victim of a crime, is your family member a cop, are there things about this case that would specifically exclude you from being fair, etc.) Once that was completed, both the defense and prosecutor were given peremptory challenges. Basically they took turns eliminating potential jurors and sending them home. Once 6 people in the top 12 were eliminated, jurors 13-18 were seated in the jury box and 6 more numbers were read. I was picked and placed in the 18th chair.

After lunch, we resumed the process and the judge asked each of us to give the statistical and prejudicial information. Interestingly enough, when I mentioned my profession, I was instantly questioned by the defense attorney.

Here are the questions he asked me:
"How many people attend your church." My answer: Not enough. You should check us out. And hey dude, if you skate on these charges you should come and get your gang-banging life in order! (Ok seriously, I just gave him a number.)
"Do you have people in your church that range in age and ethnicity?" Yes.
"Are you currently employed?" For now, brother! (Again, just yes was my answer.)

Then, the prosecutor had his questions:
"As a pastor, are you able to focus on the evidence and not judge his character?" My answer: Of course.
"What do you understand as the duty of the jury in terms of who he is as a person?" My answer: If he's a Raiders fan, he's going to prison. It's as easy as that, sir. (Ok, my real answer was that I don't care about anything except the evidence presented to us.)
"Are you able to, as a pastor, render a verdict of guilty if I prove my case?" Fire up Old Sparky, baby! My real answer: Absolutely.

Then, the peremptory challenges continued. Jurors continued to be eliminated one at a time, including a lady who's husband worked on the same gang unit that this defendant was on. Shock of all shock, the defense threw her out. Also thrown out was a guy who said he already hated the defendant. Nice work, captain impartial! And then, all of the sudden, I was in the top 12. Visions of $15/day checks PLUS mileage were dancing in my head as I was apparently quite popular with the defense attorney, who stopped challenging jurors. And then, out of the blue, the District Attorney crushed my spirit when he turned to the judge and said:

"The people would like to thank and excuse Juror #12." And just like that, I had to take my torch to the judge who said "Juror #12, the tribe has spoken. You must leave the courtroom immediately. Please leave your questionnaire at the door."

And just like that, it was over. I turned back to the DA with the look of a scorned juror and mouthed "I thought we had something special" and walked out the door.

In all seriousness, I was surprised that the prosecutor let me go and the defense attorney liked me. Do I look that limp-wristed like I'm not able to get tough just because I'm a pastor? I would be fascinated to go back and ask the lawyers what they thought when they saw me and how they go through that process. Did they really care that I was reading "The Runaway Jury" in the Assembly Room? Either way, it was an interesting day that I really enjoyed. So when you get your summons, be ready to serve and learn!

Zombies Amongst Us

2009-09-22T18:07:00.000-07:00

I might have blogged about this fairly recently, and I readily acknowledge that this officially places me at the top of my class at Old School. I don't care. I think it's so ridiculous that I can no longer hold my fire.

I should start out with some full disclosure. I don't like cell phones. There's something to be said for not being accessible 24/7 by anyone who happens to have your cell phone number. You might say..."What if there's an emergency?" "What if someone NEEDS to get ahold of me?" My response has always been that unless you're a doctor on call, the President of the United States, or a husband waiting for the call to come saying "It's time, let's go to the hospital", you probably need to redefine the word "emergency." Besides, we have a number for emergencies. It's called 911.

I'm sure that in 969 years, Methuselah had a lot of emergencies. Once he begat Lamech I'm sure there were occasions for the clan of Methuselah to take the little guy to Urgent Care. All joking aside, society seemed to function pretty well when we had to plan a little bit more, carry a few quarters for that necessary phone call, or *gasp* actually be attentive while you're out and about. If Job, whose middle name was emergency, could live without a cell phone, I'm sure we could live on less usage as well.

What triggered this rant? I went to Vons this afternoon and just took note of people texting while walking, talking while shopping, browsing the internet while waiting in line, and updating their Facebook status...presumably to tell all their concerned friends that they were indeed texting at Vons.

Honestly I believe much of our culture's addiction to instant communication is attributable to the physiological condition known as anhedonia. If you don't know what anhedonia is, you should check it out. Essentially, it's a condition where the human brain is unable to achieve pleasure because our brains are overly stimulated. As a remedy, we must (we are addicted) stimulate the mind with more sensations, hence the texting/Twittering/calling/mobile browsing/Facebooking/listening to music in their iPod, that people are consistently doing. Science shows that you can combat anhedonia by engaging in activities that are more simple in nature. Enjoying a sunset, going for a quiet walk, having a good conversation, etc. will all help us reduce our addiction to stimulation. It does a brain good. And from the observations I've made of people constantly texting and yapping into cell phones, a little brainwork would be a blessing.

More than this, it's just rude. There is very little that annoys me more than people texting while I'm talking to them. Stop it. It's rude and shows that your mind is elsewhere. If you have an important conversation that needs to happen, excuse yourself from me, make a quick call, and handle your business. I am not a window in your computer screen. Don't minimize me while maximizing another window, expecting that you can just summon me at your leisure.

Do me a favor and at least consider the price you really pay for the conveniences you enjoy. I'm sure there's an app. for that.

Facebook Friends

2009-08-27T12:48:00.000-07:00

Today I did some cleaning. No, I didn't clean my man cave, nor did I clean the living room. (However, I did do the dishes this morning.) I did a cleaning on Facebook, something I had never done before.

Today I deleted just under 10% of my Facebook friends. Why would I do such a dastardly thing? I think I just realized that having a certain number of friends on FB makes it virtually impossible to keep in touch with the people I really want to keep in touch with. Lately it seemed like my newsfeed was moving faster than the Fox News ticker, which was ok except most of it was clogged with stupid things like "Which mighty woman of the Bible are you?" quizzes or "What book of the Bible are you?" Worthless stuff. And it feels like deleting these quizzes is just like finding the cure for a disease. The moment you get to one, 10 more strains (usually more virulent) break out.

It's hard to find a common reason for the reasons some made the cut and others didn't. Here are some general trends, though:

1. Kansas City Chiefs players all made the cut. Do I know any of these people personally? No. But do they post updates about how things are going in camp and through the season? Oh yeah. And I enjoy that.

2. People at my current church all made the cut. Do I really need to explain that?

3. People who have left my current church and still live in the area usually didn't make the cut. You've found your new home, and now you can have your new friends. I've never understood the dynamic of leaving a church but wanting to hold on to the past and look at my family's pictures. We still go to DWCC and are there almost every Sunday. There's no anger in this statement, just the realization that you've made your choice, and now I've made mine. : )

4. People of differing political persuasions almost all made the cut. I find you to be engaging and intelligent about your positions and respect you even if I agree with 2% of what you say (and vice versa). The last thing I want is a bunch of people clicking the "I like it" button but not offering anything to push the conversation deeper. I want my liberal friends to represent themselves and their ideology. I'd also gently remind you that summoning Ted Kennedy's name isn't going to get you a public option.

5. Family's all good. Duh.

6. If you're a good friend but a compulsive quiz taker, you probably are hidden from my news feed but still a friend. If you're just an acquaintance and a compulsive quiz taker, you're probably down a friend.

7. Jon Voight made the list. He's too cool to be cut. I'm just grateful every morning when I wake up and see that he's still allowing me to live in his FB world.

8. Other politicians were almost all cut out. The exception to that is Pete Hoekstra from Michigan. I took a class from him in college and now he's running for Governor of Michigan. Go Pete!!!

I'm sure someone will read this entry and get a little raw about it. But when you have more online friends than Raymond, Minnesota has people...than you're overextended. And maybe you're going to look at your friend list and decide that I don't make the cut. So be it. Even Jesus only had 12 friends and 1 of them "unfriended" him too.

7.

The Amish Life of a Die-Hard Chiefs Fan

2009-08-23T20:02:00.000-07:00

I'm gearing up for another season of NFL football. As is the case every year, I'm very excited to take it all in again, particularly as the Chiefs turn a new page with GM Scott Pioli, Head Coach Todd Haley, and QB Matt Cassel. There are a lot of reasons to be excited for the new season. Of course this year will probably still be a tough one, with a lot of young players learning a new defense and in general, a new way of playing football. It's probably going to take at least a year to de-Hermanize this team.

Barring a better offer from DirecTV, I've decided to subscribe to NFL Rewind. It's all online, and each game is put on the internet in its entirety without commercials in HD (which my computer has but my TV doesn't.) The fact that it's $260 cheaper and allows us to save more for vacation is a definite factor too.

Here's the problem. The games aren't put on the web until 1-3 hours after the completion of the game. 13 of the Chiefs' 16 games this year start at 10:00 AM Pacific Time. This means the game should be over from 1:30-2:00 PM Pacific Time, meaning the game will be put on the internet between 2:30-5:00 Pacific Time. Watching the game in its entirety will bring me to the final score around 8:00-8:30 PM (I can skip halftime).

This means that in order to protect myself from knowing the score and being able to enjoy the game, I'm going to have to live the "Amish life" from kickoff (10:00 AM) until the game is over (8:00 PM). The cell phone will be hidden. The home phone's answering machine will be turned down so that caller ID will tell us who's calling but we won't hear the messages. If Tree chooses to listen to the message she will not be able to talk to me. Will she tell me the score? No. But I can sense her tone. I will not go on the internet, nor will I check e-mail. Any conversations with people after kickoff will be carefully screened. If I see you playing with your cell phone after church I will not talk to you, or I will preface a necessary conversation with the industry standard disclaimer:

"I am intentionally avoiding all information regarding the National Football League. Please don't tell me about any injuries, scores, amazing plays, late scratches, coaching moves, or personnel moves. So...how can I pray for you? Is this your first time at the church? God bless you! Now slowly walk away and don't make any rash moves."

Such is the life of a rabid fan of the Kansas City Chiefs. I don't expect any of my friends here to understand because frankly, there is no NFL team here and in general, Southern California sports fans are pretty lame. Their passion for sports lasts until the 7th inning, 3rd quarter, or until their iPhone/Blackberry chips away at them. Those of us who were raised in other parts of the country had fewer distractions growing up on Sunday. The grocery stores, gas stations, department stores, and even most restaurants were closed on Sundays. I had church, pot roast, and the Chiefs.

I guess I won't go completely Amish. I will use electricity and some other accoutrements.

Brilliant!

2009-08-17T14:18:00.001-07:00

She is the change we've been waiting for!

Man vs. Wild

2009-08-17T09:17:00.000-07:00

Bear Grylls is awesome. I have a thing about British people and how tough they are. He epitomizes that spirit, going from the Arctic Circle to the Everglades to demonstrate survival skills.

Honestly I'm pretty sure it's a waste of time for me to watch the show. After all, the closest I ever get to camping is staying at a 3 star hotel. The slogan I've adopted is that "Camping Mocks the Homeless." But I suppose I could survive a plane crash, be stranded on a deserted highway, or have a disabled boat somewhere remote. So I'd like to think that I could last more than 20 minutes in those adverse circumstances.

I do have a few things on my mind about the show, however. First, I really wish Bear would keep his clothes on, or that Discovery would be a little more discreet in the way he disrobes. Can't the cameraman turn away and put a caption on that says "Bear is now naked." 5 minutes later, the caption says "Bear remains naked." I really don't need to see the blurred out parts because they really don't blur nearly enough. I don't know...guess that draws in the female audience?

This last episode in the Everglades caught my attention as well. As he was talking about alligators (and swimming across a murky river filled with them), he said that when alligators attack it's usually because they mistake humans for something else. Can someone please explain to me how scientists come to know this? Do they interrogate the alligator? Does the alligator send a letter of apology to the family swearing that it was a duck and not a 45 year old woman??? Maybe the alligator doesn't like people and just felt like going for it. It just seems like there's an obsession among naturalists to absolve animals of guilt, saying that whenever there's a human vs. animal run in, it's because the human was in their habitat. Do humans really have a habitat, or are we just invading everywhere we go? Call me old-school, but I always thought that humans having dominion thing meant something.

Either way, I will continue to watch Man vs. Wild. It's far superior to Survivorman, where Les gets lost under a coconut tree on the beach and tries to survive. Ooooooh, tough life! After all, the moment Bear Grylls and Will Ferrell combined forces, I was won over. If you have not seen that episode, you absolutely must. It is great TV.

Choosing the High Road

2009-08-15T10:02:00.000-07:00

On Tuesday night, Tree and I went to the Courtyard Marriott here in Palmdale to attend a presentation from a company called "Travel to Go." The prize was 2 round trip tickets anywhere in the United States and 2 nights at a Marriott/Holiday Inn/Fairfield Inn. Looking ahead to some opportunities for travel, we took the challenge and went to the event.

Coming in, we were advised that we were on the hook for taxes and fees for our gift. I understood this, expecting to be on the hook for about $200 in taxes for two people flying and using a hotel for 2 nights. I even clarified with the representative on the phone that these were standard traveling taxes, which they affirmed. I made my mistake in not asking the check-in person to actually see the voucher before going in for the presentation. We had done another presentation (different company) a couple years before and got two Disney tickets without incident, as advertised.

The presentation itself was pretty painless. The salesman we dealt with was pleasant enough, and had SO much in common with me! Can you believe that he also is a pastor's son? This always happens...what a coincidence! Sarcasm aside, he was fine and not really heavy-handed in his approach to us, which I rewarded with less vitriol and a good measure of cooperation. Of course I did NOT confess my love for golf and Tree's love for the beach. I listed our top three travel destinations as Minnesota, Kansas City, and Dutch Harbor, Alaska. I also voiced our strong preferences for stay-cations because I'm not into making family memories.

Once we were "released", we went to the same girl who checked us in so that we could get our prize and go to dinner. Turns out that what I call "standard fees and taxes" don't match what a fraudulent bunch of swindlers define them to be. First, I had to pay $50 by September 10 just to redeem my prize. Worse, I had to fax my credit card number to an unknown, third-party company in order to redeem it. Then, I had a year to redeem my prize...although the fine print said that many days and locations would be unavailable, and most departures would have to be on a Monday or Tuesday. Is this starting to sound like a Democratic health care plan yet?

Once I'm ready to book my dream get-away to Victorville, I had to pay $50 PER PERSON just to talk to the travel agent, along with $129 PER PERSON for the "standard taxes and fees" that I was planning on the whole time.

Let me sum it up. $50 to redeem the coupon. $100 to talk to the travel agent (someone's gotta help him get out of his mother's basement, right?), $258 in taxes and fees. All to go to a destination I don't want to go to on a date that I probably can't fly on, booked by a company without a phone number or any way to identify themselves. Total price: $408.

Through Vegas.com I could have booked 2 nights at Mandalay Bay, round trip airfare + ground transportation, $100 in resort credits and 2 tickets to Cirque du Soleil for $400. And that includes "standard taxes and fees."

It got kind of ugly when I came to full grips with the nature of this scam. I don't deal well with people who run scams. After voicing that concern to the woman at the front desk, I was told that I had "wasted THEIR time", that I "was probably lying about what I was told", and accused of "threatening her." I'll admit right now that I was ready to blast back. I do take comfort in the fact that our little exchange was probably loud enough for the remaining couples being sold this load of crap to hear everything. I credit Tree for bringing me back from the ledge, although I was perfectly justified in my anger.

I thought about standing outside the hotel and handing copies of the voucher with the small print to couples coming in for the presentation and clearly explaining everything. I considered a full-scale smear campaign against their company, and thought about pursuing the company with a complaint about this woman who insulted me the way she did. Upon further consideration, I decided against that because crooked companies like "Travel to Go" (based in San Diego) tend to reward the rats who loyally swab the poop deck of the ship while the other rats jump off.

But then, once I had some time to back away from my disappointment and anger, I decided on a much different course. I'm not going to do anything. Trust me when I tell you that this runs counter to everything I would like to do. I would get great joy out of hitting back and making them feel some sort of sorrow for messing with me. I would love to see Dateline NBC run a show called "To Catch a Timeshare Company", or to hear of some giant class-action lawsuit against them. But to invest energy and time into revenge runs counter to my faith and interferes with the things I REALLY get satisfaction from.

I lost no money, and I'm not going to chase the "free" trip rabbit trail. I'm going to chalk it up to a lesson learned, a date with my wife, and something for all of you to read as a "buyer beware" when you go to a presentation.

And I'll take solace knowing that what goes around always comes around...and that the misery that companies like "Travel to Go" doles out will always return to roost.

Vicodin to the State Department, Please...

2009-08-10T21:35:00.000-07:00

Maybe it's the lingering pain from her recently broken elbow. Perhaps she lost a bet with Bill on the "How many hostages can you free from North Korea" game. Or maybe she just doesn't care to hear Bill's name mentioned. Either way, she got a little prickly over a question asked by a student through a translator who apparently didn't know the difference between the word "Obama" and "Clinton" in his native tongue. Hey, we all make mistakes. Some just go viral on YouTube:

Poor Hillary. The world was supposed to be hers in a handbasket. After all, she had worked so hard failing at health care reform and losing a supposedly easy campaign (to a Democrat) that it's about time that things would start going her way. Maybe Bill can "ease her pain" tonight. That is, if he finds the time to break away from his 63rd birthday party in Las Vegas. Why wasn't I invited???

First Day of School

2009-08-10T08:26:00.000-07:00

It all begins the night before...making sure that first-day outfits are perfectly coordinated, and the hair plan is in place.

The next morning, the only morning of the year, nerves wake them up before the alarms do.

The walk to school is a subdued one, as they work their way toward the barely-controlled chaos that resembles the 405 at 4:05 more than a school parking lot. They double-check their classroom numbers and make their way to the first room. Waiting nervously outside the class, they strain their necks to look for familiar faces, hoping to find someone to latch onto so as not to look like the noobs.

They nervously make their way toward the door, hoping to make a good first impression on the teacher and show that they belong. They find the right desk, meticulously putting school supplies away and waiting for the first instructions from the teacher. When the announcements come on the speaker, they stop what they are doing and listen to every word.

And that's just the parents' day.

Health Care Debacle

2009-08-07T21:42:00.000-07:00

I'm so fascinated with the fallout from all of these town hall meetings where Democratic congress-people are being shouted down by protestors.

I'm even more fascinated with the obvious fact that nobody seems to be talking about. The Democrats don't need ONE Republican vote to pass a complete overhaul of health care. Not ONE. They have a big majority in Congress AND a filibuster-proof majority in the Senate. They control the committees that reconcile House and Senate bills and of course have a President eager to sign whatever bill arrives at his desk.

So if these town hall meetings are rigged and filled with "plants" who are there to disrupt the town hall meetings, and none of the protestors are legitimate and most of them are hateful people (which is the knee-jerk label Democrats use on those who don't agree with them), why have the meetings at all? If you claim to be right and claim that most people actually support it, then stay in Washington, cancel your meetings, and pass the most wide-reaching plan you can think of.

But they're not doing it because they don't even believe in it. They don't have the Democratic votes to pass it because those Democrats who live in moderate to conservative-leaning districts will all be voted out of office if they pass the kind of garbage that Pelosi/Reid/Obama want to make the law of the land.

And so instead of coming to their senses, they're going to act like victims to distract people from the truth. They've lost control of the issue, they're losing in the court of public opinion, and are rapidly sinking a popular President over an unsustainable plan.

Obama's Sliding

2009-07-24T20:16:00.000-07:00

I'm not too focused on poll numbers because I generally think the best Presidents are the ones who are willing to make unpopular decisions. That's why they're leaders. Now, eventually history or at times his contemporaries will come to appreciate his decisions or they will indeed turn out to be right and the President was an idiot. See Jimmy Carter.

But I was absolutely stunned as I watched the President's press conference this week. The purpose of it was to save health care reform, which is all but guaranteed to go up in flames as it currently stands. And before any of you get indignant and start spewing anger at belligerent Republicans who are obstructing the President's plans remember this...he doesn't need one Republican to pass any piece of legislation he wants. Not one. This is an issue of infighting within the Democratic Party and one that will soon be exposed when more than 50 House Democrats finally tell Nancy Pelosi and Henry Waxman to stick it.

Well, the President was making his well-oiled, teleprompter-enabled presentation to the people...and I must confess that when the man is on message he's very compelling. He is right that something has to be done to reform health care. He is right that the system is completely broken. But that's not what anyone remembers from the event. The only thing anyone remembers is that the President, on the last question of the press conference, said that Cambridge, Massachusetts police "acted stupidly" in the arrest of a Harvard professor in his home.

President Obama erred in so many ways in this comment that it's hard to know where to start. Maybe this would have been a good answer: "Skip Gates is a friend of mine and a well-respected person in the Harvard and Cambridge community. But it's not the business of the President of the United States to comment on local matters, especially because I don't even know the particulars of the case." Had this been his answer, he would have kept the heat on health care and not spent the past 48 hours talking about his regrets and how he's hoping to have the police officer and professor over for a beer in the White House.

Good idea, Mr. President! But with all the lawyers that are going to be attending this friendly chat, you might want to load up your beer fridge. And now, thanks to you and your Presidential spotlight, this case has become THE story in the news and now everyone is lawyering up...the news media is talking about race relations again...and only stopping to mention that another Democrat has said it is impossible to meet your deadline on health care reform. Skip Gates, the man who was arrested, is saying that this case is not about him but about something bigger. Allow me to translate that sentiment. "Attention Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, and the ghost of Johnnie Cochran. I've got a case and everyone's talking about it. Bring your best lawyers and get ready to roll." The police officer is also talking about lawsuits and the inevitable slander lawsuit that he's going to wield towards Mr. Gates if he initiates legal proceedings.

The honeymoon is over, Mr. President. School children aren't writing "Yes We Can" songs about you anymore. Women aren't passing out at your rallies anymore. When you say something now, people don't clap like robots like they used to. Now you're going to succeed or fail based on your policies and not your personality. People still like you. I like you. I like your family and I like that you're comfortable being yourself. I still think you throw a baseball with the wrong hand and I despise most of your policies. I don't believe a word you said in framing how you're pulled the economy from the brink. I have no idea where all these jobs you claim are being created are...particularly because unemployment has risen under your watch. I think your stimulus plan was a complete and utter failure, and the "cap and trade" plan you support would cripple our economy even further.

But if you're going to succeed, you might want to choose your words a little more carefully and get the facts before you weigh in. Remember what you said in the campaign? Words matter.

It's Been Too Long, Bloggy

2009-07-21T22:41:00.000-07:00

I guess I just named my blog Bloggy.

Time to Knockout the Boxer

2009-07-16T22:31:00.000-07:00

Sen. Barbara Boxer has got to go. She is an embarrassment to an embarrassing state. That says something. Let me start with a couple of videos that amplify my point that she needs to go:

You think you worked hard to become a Senator, Ms. Boxer? Who are you to tell a Brigadier General about hard work? Did he ride the coattails of an influential spouse to make a name for himself like you did? Have you managed a critical $7.5 billion public works project that covers over 300,000 square miles? Have you served in Iraq? Have you earned multiple degrees in a broad range of fields like civil engineering and construction management? These are all things that Brig. Gen. Walsh has done, ma'am.
You only got elected because your first opponent was an absolute joke who frequented strip clubs. And you only won that race by 5% in a heavily Democratic state.

Let me pause and show you faithful readers the second video of Senator Boxer, in a heated exchange with a gentleman representing a chapter of the Chamber of Commerce.:

First of all, do you notice he got away with calling her "ma'am" at the beginning of the video? After he pawned her on the whole "Who's a real Californian" pissing contest that she started, she went on to mention how the NAACP resolution on climate change legislation as if she needed to point out that there were black people who believe in climate change. Mr. Alfred was there to testify against the hooey that Senator Boxer and her chicken little Democratic Senators are pushing down our throats. Statements like "He would be proud of you" and "there are differing opinions in the black community", injecting race into an issue that has ZERO to do with race. He represents a pro-business organization that knows what kind of damage this "crap and trade" legislation is going to do to businesses all across our country.

God bless Senator Inhofe for trying to save Senator Boxer, but she simply couldn't be saved. Her reference to her husband as a veteran was the priceless bow on the package. Let's hope that Carly Fiorina, Ms. Boxer's likely opponent in 2010, is gathering this video and the other videos of her running her mouth so that we can finally depose of her.

Defeating Senator Boxer won't be easy. She's been "working hard" to stay a Senator, amassing a war chest of almost $6 million. But when average Californians see how she consistently fails us, they might seek a new Senator that doesn't think so highly of herself.

Bidenomics

2009-07-16T16:22:00.000-07:00

Our ever-quotable VP Joe Biden is at it again:

“And folks look, AARP knows and the people with me here today know, the president knows, and I know, that the status quo is simply not acceptable. It’s totally unacceptable. And it’s completely unsustainable. Even if we wanted to keep it the way we have it now. It can’t do it financially. We’re going to go bankrupt as a nation. Now, people when I say that look at me and say, ‘What are you talking about, Joe? You’re telling me we have to go spend money to keep from going bankrupt?' The answer is yes, that's what I’m telling you.”

So let me get this straight, Joe. If my family's sinking in debt and not making our bills, the only solution is to spend more? Who's going to bail me out?

Unfortunately the actions of the Obama Administration live out what Biden says. We're spending more money and encouraging people to invest their money in other countries by raising taxes on the wealthiest individuals. If they had just simplified the tax code, they would have collected more revenue from wealthy people. But that's not how Democrats get elected.

We have now seen our government takeover the automobile industry. We have also seen czars shut down dealerships that overwhelmingly supported John McCain while those who supported the President were allowed to stay open. Now they want to take over health care. Fortunately for us, I think they're going to fail in this endeavor. They truly have overreached and are now getting pushback from conservative and moderate Democrats.

God help us.

Our New President Throws Like a Girl

2009-07-15T10:25:00.000-07:00

I didn't watch the All Star Game last night, but I did happen to see President Obama's first pitch, courtesy of CNN. I found the video on YouTube and had to post it. For an athletic person like President Obama is, this was a disturbingly weak throw.

Compare it to former President Bush, who is older than our current President...who delivered a first pitch at a Rangers game this year:

Ay caramba.

10 Years Ago Tomorrow

2009-07-07T21:04:00.000-07:00

Cue the wistful music as I look back exactly one decade.

The countdown clock was winding down on our single lives. Later that evening on July 8, 1999 we would be having our wedding rehearsal at what used to be Chino Valley Reformed Church, later Oaks Church, now The Bridge in Chino. This was followed by our rehearsal dinner with family at Marie Callendars in Chino.

Two days later, in front of family and friends on July 10, 1999 we made our vows to spend the rest of our lives together as husband and wife. Later that night...later than we planned, we celebrated our new marriage at Los Serranos Country Club in Chino Hills. Then, in a whirlwind, we headed up the California Coast in a blue Mustang Convertible with stops in Santa Barbara, Pismo Beach, Carmel, and San Francisco before headed over to Lake Tahoe.

10 years, 3 kids, and a bunch of adventures later, the state of our union is still very strong. Just like any other family we have our struggles and problems. But I have found such joy in my marriage to the most wonderful woman in the world and am thankful to all of you...some of whom were at our wedding and many more who have come along in our journey to be such great friends, helpers, and encouragers.

There are a few things in addition to our marriage that come to my mind when I think about our wedding. I remember how awesome it was that my Grandpa and Grandma Vanderwel were able to be there. They were amazing grandparents to me and at that time, Grandma was really starting to lose her memory. She would die of Alzheimer's Disease several years later. It always meant so much to me that my aunts and uncles would come all the way out to California to be a part of our wedding. My other grandparents were still alive but not in good health and couldn't make the trip.

I also think of both our parents when I think of our marriage. I am so grateful for both of them giving us a foundation of a healthy marriage modeled in their own lives that has given us a tremendous advantage in facing our own challenges. I appreciate my own parents' support and love of me, and the way Tree's parents have been a tremendous blessing to me and our family as well.

The other thing that blows me away is how different life might be like 10 years from now than what it is today. Lord willing, we'll be married 20 years with an 18 year old son, 15 year old daughter, and 14 year old daughter. And a good cardiologist and psychologist. But, as my good friend Jonathan Cote taught me, the only thing I truly know is that 10 years from now I'll be celebrating the 10 year anniversary of thinking about that thought. So I guess I'll just enjoy the journey!!!

The main thing I think about is my wife. But those thoughts are between me and her. So Tree, Happy Anniversary to Us! I can't wait to get out of town and celebrate!!!