1fan

Transformers Website

2009-07-15T03:02:00.005+12:00

The transformers website is amazing!
It takes sometimes to load but it is worth it.

The price of being indecisive

2009-07-14T03:19:00.003+12:00

My biggest weakness is being indecisive when come to my future. In the last few years, I changed my plan or decision at the very last minute. Even though I never regret, I have paid for my indecisive characteristic. Today, I made the same mistake again.

I have decided to come back to Malaysia and working on my business at 30th of Dec 08. However, I also considered other opportunity. Hence, I applied for global co-ordinator for Alcatel-Lucent. Co-operating with a good reputation I have developed, I went to the final stage of the interview process. Then, I could not make up my mind what I really want.

Yesterday, I bought a book about the successful story of Li Jia Chen, who is the richest Chinese in this century. One of his successful reasons is he is able to make a quick and effective decision. Once he decide, he remain committed to his decision. It remind me how much time I'm wasiting everytime I being indecisive.

This morning, I sent an email to withdraw my application from the last stage of interview. Of course, it pissed off few people because they have spent sometime for the selection process. My reputation has screwed in some part of the network. I think this is the price I have to pay because of my stupid behaviour.

On the other hand, I learn a lot about myself in the process.

Today, I have a plan and will persist with it. I can't allow myself to make the same mistake again.

Shanghai 2010 World Expo

2009-07-12T20:45:00.003+12:00

I was very excited when watching this preview and planning for the trip to Shanghai in 2010. After many people told me about the very-exciting-Shanghai-city, I always want to go there. This is a perfect excuse for me to plan this trip.

August 2010 - Shanghai! After 11 years, we will have an opportunity to travel overseas together.

What I have miss out!!

2009-07-10T22:10:00.003+12:00

Randomly look at friend's facebook photo and found this! I can't believe after living in NZ for 5 years, I didn't spend any winter time in South Island. I swear I gonna make a trip go back NZ during winter one day!

Resting

2009-07-09T02:14:00.002+12:00

Giving myself a week to rest at home before I start doing anything I want to do. I just realised how much energy was burned in the last twelve months. Need a lot of sleep and healthy food to recovery.

But what's next? I'm not very sure.

Australia ... Melbourne + Swine Flu

2009-06-24T19:09:00.002+12:00

Visiting Australia was my plan since I arrived NZ. Finally... finally... I planned for it so even though there is swine flu in Melbourne... I don't care :P

4 days in Melbourne apparently is not enough. What I want to do? I have no idea, I just want to go with the flow :)

Packing ...

2009-06-22T22:02:00.004+12:00

Just booked the courier service to post 30kg stuffs (with 5 years memory) back home. I have no idea how to pack and wish Annie loo is here LOL!

I wish time can slow down just a little bit and let me enjoy every moment I have left.

Listen to your heart

2009-06-21T22:52:00.002+12:00

After these years of avoiding feeling or trying to be strong and independent, I slowly lose the ability to listen to my own real voice. I find it very hard to actually know how I feel and my inside though.

I have been trying to build up a very-strong- and-less-emotional YiFan in front of everyone. Because of self protection, my relationship with people is very surface. I'm not willing to invest too much time and effort to any relationship. Purely I don't want to get hurt.

By time pass, I feel alone but it is exactly I want to be. I believe I can be more rational and able to handle different changes and situations. It is kind of right, I do feel easy to let go but I also miss a lot of opportunities to build up long term relationship. That is why I always think I am my own best friend.

I want to change this! I want to be more opened to my emotional, I want to be more attached with people around me, I want to be more depended, I want to have a true relationship. I want to be able to love myself and also people around me.

I want to be able to hear my own voice again!

The ending of the MC chapter

2009-06-21T06:04:00.006+12:00

It is 6am in the morning. I just sent Viv to catch her shuttle to go to the airport. I think the sadness of ending finally hit me. It is the first time I could not sleep in Wellington.

I am trying to feel emotional with the ending of the MC term since April because I don't want to regret that I don't appreciate the remaining time. But I don't really feel it until now. I am not sure if I were pushing down my emotion or trying to avoid the feeling. It is just not easy to handle it now. I never feel so hard to leave a group of people. I know that we can and will continue the friendship but the team is ending.

I know that we all have to move on but I really don't know what I can do to have a perfect ending. May be there is nothing you can do more. I just hope I can always remember what happening in the last 12 months. I know we can't live in the past but hopefully this is a new chapter of our friendship.

My top 5 favourite moments in MC term:

Cleaning the flat at the beginning of our term
Watching movie and felt asleep on the "very-comfortable" couch
Every time when we visited Christchurch - LC visit, pre-conference, weekend dealer, random visit
Flat rotation - shower and cooking dinner (although it does last long)
Last party in Wellington with David

Thank you Lydia, David, Anna, Vivian and Nick. You guys have given me such an amazing experience. I'm really lucky! Nothing much I can ask from you guys anymore! I promise I'll keep in touch with everyone no matter what is going to happen the rest of my life.

St. Patrick's Day

2009-03-17T18:33:00.003+13:00

Remember two years ago, we have this big party at 13D+E. Although I can't really remember the detail, it was a good time.

This might be the last chance for me to celebrate St. Patrick's Day in NZ. Three more months, I am going to leave the country that I have been staying for nearly 5 years. 5 years! Every year it means a lot for me! I wish I have a better memory to remember everything!

I am starting to miss my time here. I am feeling a bit scare and sad of my leaving. I try my best to enjoy as much as the fresh air and water, people around me and the beauty of this country. BUT I know I have to move on and start looking another path of my life.

Looking forward to join the creazy Wellington town tonight!

My life

2009-03-04T09:28:00.000+13:00

Your life is in your hands. No matter where you are now, no matter what has happened in your life, you can begin to consiously choose your thoughts and you can change your life. there is no such thing as a hopeless situation. Every single circumstnace of your life can change!

My No. 200 post: Earth Hour

2009-02-18T17:59:00.003+13:00

1fan's blog Post No.200:

38 days 2hours 28minute - the count down for Earth Hour which is hold on 28 March 2009, 8.30pm to 9.30pm (local time). I am looking forward to participate this in Wellington City! Hopefully it will be successful in Kuala Lumpur too.

Last night in KL

2009-02-12T05:42:00.002+13:00

21 hours later, I am going back to New Zealand. Even though I am coming home in 5 months time, I have a strong feeling of leaving. This is the fifth leaving after celebrating Chinese New Year. This visit has been quite special for me.

In the last few years, I went back home town - Sabah - during CNY. Therefore, I wouldn't have enough time to spend with friends in KL. I could only meet them for once or twice. This year I have a chance to have a trip with them to Ipoh and also have some nights spending together. I have a very strong connection with everyone again. I realised we never run out of topic, there always full of laugh and don't have any argument that I can remember. It really makes me feel very happy everytime I spend time with them.

Something interesting happen tonight, I was very busy from morning until evening. It was very stressful when doing some works for my own business. However, I have a very fun night. We randomly decide to go to my place. It has been a long time they have not came to my place. Somehow we went through our photos when we were young (secondary school). It bring back a lot of memory and how "pretty" we were!

The time to say goodbye to everyone, it is very sad! It also makes me worry that how will I feel when I am going to leave New Zealand in July. Especially I might not have many chance to meet everyone again! I feel very lucky that I can meet awesome people no matter where am I or when is it. Thank you!

Where will be our new home?

2009-02-07T04:37:00.003+13:00

This afternoon, my parent and I went to the show room of Semi-D in Taman Sri Sinar. It is allocated behind of my old house.

It is a HUGE AND TALL 3 sty semi-d! We feel tiring just to walk up to the third floor! There are 6 rooms and not sure how many toilets! It costs 1.6 million so you can imagine how pretty it is! There was one question come to my mind, "When am I able to buy this house for my parent?" I told myself - It won't be too far, 10 more years and before I turn 35 years old!

My parent spent about half of this semi-d for our (sis & I) education. I know how much they would like to have their own house (a nice and good home) but they choose to give us the best education. Now is the time for my returning!

I know the next 5-10 years won't be something easy. I aware that the time can pass extremely fast if I don't focus on my goal. I will feel "it is too late" if I am not achieve my dream in the next 10 years. I have to make sure it won't let it happen!

I remember few years ago, I made a goal that I need to retired at 35! (retired does not mean you don't do anything but you have the freedom not to work too hard) 10 years of fully concentration and efforts I believe I can achieve it!

p.s. remember one of my friends told me that visiting show room can remind your own goal! It works! :)

My 2009 Decision Part II

2009-02-03T05:36:00.003+13:00

Today is the first time my dad told me about his business plan for the next few years. My dad is 64 years old. I admire and respect his passion and energy even during recession. From the talked, I realised that how much he would like to see my success.

And me, I am giving myself another 5 months to get ready for everything. I am looking forward to a new start and new life. I know it is the right time!

CNY 2009

2009-02-02T03:20:00.004+13:00

Family

Chinese New Year, my favourite festival and holiday, is a good time to gather with family and friends. However, this year is a bit different because of my sister could not make it. It is the first time I came home without her. It makes me understand how she feel when she is at home without me for the last 4 years. It is different.

Friends - The 10th Years
I can't remember the last trip with you guys. After missing the trip to Lang Tengah last year, I was looking forward to this Ipoh trip. Within this two days, I have a lot of fun and enjoy every moment with every one.I felt like I am a different person with happiness, fun, claim, peace, relax and without any pressure.

I am lucky! It is not easy to have even one best friend but I have nearly 10 of them! It is a group of friends I don't want to ask for anything. For me, to have you guys all the time is more than enough.

"God bless us - BFF!"

10 years friendship celebration - The first time we all clubbing together

Vjan, hope you can find your way soon.
Bin, "thoughtful" is the best word to describe you!
Kyle, see you again at the end of the year!
Ham, wish your dream come true very soon.
Ham Yu, hopefully the next time we meet again won't be another 5 years of waiting.
JiaQian, be diamond!
Laimiin, get married before 30!
ShenNan, let me know when you find dream and passion!
Kiwi, don't poison your patient.
Panda & Pei Fen, don't forget us even bf is important.

another 10 years? Hell YA!

Reverse Culture Shock

2009-01-24T01:49:00.002+13:00

This is the fifth year I am not living at home but every year when I back to Malaysia, I am worry if I able to adapt Malaysia life again. Will I have reverse culture shock? Am I still familiar with everything in my own country.

There is no doubt how much I love Malaysia and proud to be Malaysian. However, the thing here change too fast. I don't know exactly what has changed or different but there are some difference and I know I need to deal with it.

I have made a decision early of this year, I am coming back here for good in July. I always worry will I love the life here? Today just the first day I came back home, I found a lot of things is uneasy for me. There are many things I don't like but I have to accept. I am not sure should let the environment change me or should I change the environment?

The first feeling every time I arrive airport is hot and smelly. It is not a good feeling. Then, I will find that the driver on the road is very rude. I always ask myself, can people just be a bit more patient and be nice. May be is the recession or I am too comfortable with NZ life but this time I feel that the behavior on the road is worse than last year. Should I act like them or should I just try to cool myself down?

There are a lot of details really annoyed me such as smokers everywhere, people smoke at public place (there even people smoke on plane yesterday! What a retard!), traffic everywhere (I don't mind traffic, I just can't stand the country you love has such a bad behaviour), I am not familiar with my environment, people look different than what I can remember...

Anyway, it is just how I feel at the moment, I think I will fine in very short time!!!

Yeah.. Chinese New Year is around the corner! Can't wait for lunar eve dinner! I just discuss the menu with mum. Even now I feel hungry when I though about it.

Cards

2009-01-13T22:26:00.003+13:00

Email and facebook has replaced the "era of cards". Therefore, every time I receive cards from friends and family, it makes me feel very warm. I actually bought a lot of cards this year but all keep in the drawer and have not send it :( May be send it during CNY lol.

Thank you...
Yohei, the card is so cute!! We definitely is going to party very sooN!!!! Hope the new year is going to bring you a good luck!

M3! When I look at your card, I was thinking this handwriting is so familiar! Only link with your name after 3 seconds! lol.. your handwriting is still exactly the same :) Hope you will get an awesome job soon!

Yisin, that is weird to receive your postcard at very first time! I want to celebrate Xmas in London next year too!

Viv, the card i like because i choose it :P

Anna, Nick and David, thanks for all the postcard from different countries!

p.s. if you are reading this post and have not send me a postcard, do it now! I will love to hear from you again :P

Hot, Flat and Crowded by Thomas L. Friedman

2009-01-01T14:51:00.002+13:00

It gave me a complete view of the sustainability issue. In the past 5 years, sustainability is a very popular topic in different areas, such as NGO, university, corporate, society, school, etc. Everyone is talking about sustainability, green, environment, global warming, etc. I always passionate about these topics but I realise I actually know nothing until I read this book. That is the reason why I love Thomas Friedman’s book. There are a lot of useful and important knowledge that I need to know.

The two important parts of the book are: the five key problems the earth is facing and the green revolution (why and how)

Remember from the last book he explained about “the world is flat”. It is one of the terms I really like. In this book, he explained how we’re entering the “Energy Climate Era”. It focuses on the five key problems that a hot, flat, and crowded world is dramatically intensifying. There are: the growing demand for ever scarcer energy supplies and natural resources (energy and resource supply and demand); a massive transfer of wealth to oil-rich countries and their petrodictators (petrolpolitics); disruptive climate change (climate change); energy poverty, which is sharply diving the world into electricity haves and electricity have-nots; and rapidly accelerating biodiversity loss, as plants and animals go extinct at record rates (biodiversity).

It explained in detail about each problem with many examples. Now I have a better understand what are the major problems we are facing and how we got here. Not simply only know the term or the surface of the global issue. Among all these problems, the energy poverty has given me the biggest shock. It is pretty hard to believe in this day, the World Bank estimates that roughly 1.6 million people – one out of every four people on the planet – don’t have regular access to an electricity grid. Especially in Africa 75% of household (550 million people) have no access to network electricity and 700 million people in South Asia.

We all know that Africa has very high HIV/AIDS, drinking water, and malaria issues. A lot of us have contributed to these issues and hopefully one day these problems can be solved. We donate money to HIV/AIDS, building water system or medical subsidies. There are lot of NGOs are trying very hard. However, many people have not realised the energy poverty problem as a fundamental problem in Africa. Without regularly access to electricity, it means that Africa would never able to solve other problem. It is because energy poverty means you can’t pump clean water regularly, there’s no communication, no way to have adult literacy classes, and certainly no way to run computers at school, no hospital can be functioned.

When the world is become hotter, the poor population will be the people suffer the most but they are the people who caused it the least because they heavily depend directly on soil, forests, and plants in their immediate vicinity for subsistence. Many people are trying to improve the quality of their life, on the other hand, our behaviour and attitude have made the world hotter (climate change). Hence, we actually take over their basic survival kits. If temperatures continue to rise, we can just close the windows and turning on an air conditioner, but what about them?

The other part of the book is discussing about why we need a green revolution. Now I can imagine how big is the impact of energy efficiency. Thomas F has emphasized what we need is a Clean Energy System - REEFIGDCPEERPC < TTCOBCOG – the renewable energy eco-system for innovating, generating, and deploying clean power, energy efficiency, resource productivity, and conservation < the true cost of burning coal, oil and gas. That is, we need clean energy that is cheaper than the true cost to society of fossil fuels, when you measure the climate change those fuels cause, the pollution they trigger, and the energy wars they engender. We are not going to regulate our way out of the problems of the Energy-Climate Era. We can only innovate our way out, and the only way to do that is to mobilize the most effective and prolific system for transformational innovation and commercialization of new products ever created on the face of the earth.

After reading this book, I just imagine how good if I can stay in a green building, driving a green car and using the green products. How long are we going to wait?

Happy New Year 2009

2009-01-01T11:47:00.002+13:00

When I just came to NZ, I celebrated my NYE here. Four years later, it was my last kiwi style NYE. The fireworks compared to four years ago. It is pretty much the same. Not very interesting lol. This morning, I saw the news of Australia multi-million fireworks. OMG! Definitely not a good decision to not go to Australia this year during xmas and new year. Anyway, I do appreciate I can have this kiwi NYE experience to end my New Zealand time. (haha I already look forward to the next year NYE!)

Last day of 2008 (the deadline of my decision)

2008-12-31T15:00:00.005+13:00

31st of Dec 2008... The last day of 2008.
.2008, it means a lot to me.

This year seems to be one of the longest year for me but it doesn't mean it is a bad year. Whereas, it is a very good year, a very busy year and a very memorable year. A year I wish it would never end!

From nearly resigning from my EB term, graduating from University, finish my best EB term and continue my AIESEC career with MC term... It was a tiring process but I have learn and growth a lot in this process. I have improved my capability for making a decision, finding my passion, enhanced my strengths and getting closer to what I want to be... It is a rewarding year and pretty much a priceless experience.

Every time when come to this time of the year, I am stress to make a decision. Therefore, I have given myself a deadline to avoid demotivation of taking too long or too stress during the process. It is TODAY!! May be I finally learn from experience, the decision come very fast. Or may be this time I really know what I really want.

It has been 4 years since I left Malaysia and come to NZ (between stayed in India and have traveled few countries) for my study and working. Every year I have to do a lot of thinking and analysing to decide what is the best choice for me. Every year I decide to take up more opportunities outside Malaysia because it gave me the highest satisfaction by living in different environment and culture. Every year I am looking for a bigger challenge which can shape me into a better and stronger individual. This year (or next year) I decide to go back and start focusing on my career/business.

It might looks a bit stupid because I actually was planning to do excatly the same thing last year, but I changed it. For many people, it seems like I have wasting one year but I know I didn't Without this 12 months, I won't be so determined in such a short time. Without this 12 months, I won't have another very important team experiences and gain this group of friends. Without this 12 months, I might regret because of not taking on this opportunities. So I am happy, I am so sure I have made the best choice every year.

Now, I am ready...
I am ready for another very challenging year...
I am ready for a completely different environment (Malaysia actually is pretty much a new country for me now)...
I am ready to the new pages of my life...
I am ready to answer the "5-10 years plan" in my life...
I am ready to continue creating the fabulous life...

Thank you for those who have helped and assisted me in the last two months during this process.

and this time... no more last minute changing decision :)

G1 vs. iphone

2008-12-29T22:25:00.002+13:00

Hmm... it is so hard to choose since I am a big fan of both Google and Apple... lol Can't wait to get my smart phone...

The New Leaders

2008-12-29T14:24:00.007+13:00

After three weeks, I have finish reading "The New Leaders - Transforming the art of leadership into the science of results" by Daniel Coleman. I learned a lot by reading this book. It gave me a lot of guidance especially during my decision making process.

The first part of the book is talking about "The Power of Emotional Intelligence". The most part I learn is the four dimension of EI. In AIESEC we talk a lot about competencies, it is very similar but more focus on two parts: personal competency (self awareness and self management) and social competency (social awareness and relationship management). Although these words are very familiar and comment sense, it actually has different perspective and definition.

For example, self awareness has three components - emotional self-awareness (reading one's own emotions and recognizing their impact; using "gut sense" to guide decision), accurate self-awareness (knowing one's strengths and limits) and self confidence (a sound sense of one's self-worth and capabilities). I used to though I have pretty high self awareness but I actually only strong at the self confidence but not too good at the emotional self-awareness. These four dimensions of EI/competencies gave me a better guideline to identify my strengths and weaknesses.

It also mentioned about "resonance leadership". To create a high effective leadership, we need to work on high resonance in the team. The leader's mood will influence the climate of the team and also the result. Therefore, great leadership works through the emotions. This is definitely something I have to put effort on.

Once I have a better understanding about the competencies and different types of internship, the author discuss about "making leaders" at the part II. This is also my favourite part of the book.

It taught me about the "Boyatzis's theory of self-directed learning". I really like this framework and is going to use this framework to be my learning framework. Basically it covers 5 questions:
1. My ideal self: what do I want to be?
2. My real self: Who am I?
3. My learning agenda: Building on my strengths while reducing gaps
4. Experimenting with new behavior: thoughts, and feelings
5. Developing trusting, relationships that help, support, and encourage each step in the process.
I really like the idea of building on my strengths while reducing the gaps (what do I want to be?)

Could not find the exactly same diagram, but this is something similar

Besides, I get very frustrated when people ask me about what is my 5 years plan. It also a comment questions in the applications (no matter what you are applying). I found my answer until I read the part discussed about "how do you think about the future".

There are four types of "planner":

Directional or visionary planners: they are good at crafting a picture of a meaningful, distant future state; one that's grounded in values, beliefs, and a deep sense of what's important in life
Goal-orientated planners: they get what they go after
Action orientation- results in a high level of accomplishment in the short term. Moreover the freedom inherent in such planning adds an element of serendipity that enhance creativity.

So when you ask people what is your plan for the next 5 years or 10 years plan, even if they can't just answer you in ABCDEFG, it does not mean people don't know what to do or don't have a plan in their life. Everyone has different way of managing their life and there is different methods of planning.

Last but not least, the book has given me a very interesting description of my personality - "ego-defensive". If you know me well enough, I think you can understand the following paragraphs.

"Many things conspire to keep people from seeing their real slevees. The human psyche itself shields us from information that might undermine our self-perception. These ego-defences mechanisms, as they're called, protect us emotianally so that we can cope more easily with life. But in the process, they hide or discard essential information - such as how others are responding to our behavior. Over tie, these self-delusions that the unconscious creates become self-perpetuating myths, persisting despite the difficulties they cause.

Of course, ego-defense mechanisms have their advantages. Most high-functioning people, for instance, are more optimistic about their prospects and possibilities than the average person. Their rose-colored lenses fuel enthusiasm and energy for their undertakings. The problem comes when the defenses go too far, distorting a person's view of his real self - the person he has become - out of all proportion. The playwright Henrik Ibsen called such self-delusion "vital lies": soothing mistruths people let themselves believe rather than face the more disturbing realities beneath."

The book I am reading now and aim to finish it by 31st Dec 08.

Hot, Flat and Crowded, written by my favourite author - Thomas Friedman

The next book I want to buy:

Relaxing weekend before X'mas

2008-12-23T15:02:00.004+13:00

Brookview Tea House

To maximize the weekend experience in 2008, Viv and I went to Makatana again because we didn't have time to visit the tea house we found last time. This trip is very relaxing, we find some peaceful park and town, enjoy a cup of tea/coffee and read our book.

Orewa Beach

Beautiful view will be the thing I miss the most once I leave NZ.

X'mas is coming soon. Wish you have a Merry Xmas!!! I am looking forward to my Japanese X'mas dinner and standbar afterward.

MC Year End Dinner 08

2008-12-18T12:27:00.004+13:00

7 people with different background and different personally...

Working together as a team...

"Y(ifan)esterday M(Man:Viv)ust N(ick)ot L(dyia)imit O(yedele)ur D(avid)riving A(nna)mbitious"

To celebrate the hard work we have put to this organisation (AIESEC) in the last 5+ months, Viv and I have invited everyone to our MC YEAR END DINNER. From making invitation, come out with the awesome 4 course meal menu, getting the odd number of wine glasses (7) with limited budget, visit vineyard to get the perfect wine for this special dinner, etc. So much effort just for the 5 hours dinner.

Our EPIC menu:
Entrée
Fresh baked ciabatta complimented with Dukka and Olive oil

Savoury onion tuna and ham served on thinly sliced cucumber

Broccoli drizzled with special sesame dressing

Pan fried prawns with Japanese style mayonnaise

Yorkshire pudding filled with avocado, egg and topped with smoked salmon

Soup
Creamy carrot soup with crispy bacon

Main
Oven roasted chicken served with mushroom and rosemary gravy and / or blueberry jus

Side: Roasted shallots and potatoes with a balsamic saucing

Dessert
Fresh field strawberries served with French vanilla ice cream topped with home made gingerbread

Wine List
Home made Special
Champagne, lychee & peach

Villa Maria Pinot Gris East Coast 2008

Villa Maria Noble Riesling Botrytis Selection 2005 Marlborough

Soljans Rakelina Sparkling Muscat

West Brooke Riesling 2008

West Brooke Sav 2008

I really enjoyed the process of preparing it with Vivian. Besides, I am glad that everyone is enjoyed it. Good team experience won't come natually, it required everyone put some effort to bring everyone together. I seldom take this role but I think this is a very good try. I start to enjoy to create the team experience in an obvious way!

Look forward to another 6 months working together and complete our vision:

EPIC 200
Everday People Impleting Changes (with 200 Exchanges)