Mamma Loves...

Bottles on a Shelf

2009-11-03T11:05:00.001-05:00

I've been listening to your personal jam session with Rock Band for the past hour and it makes me want to bottle you up so I can enjoy this moment over and over. Oh the shelf that bottle would sit on! It would be nestled in among thousands of other tiny glass jars--the ones holding the sounds of your baby giggles or the one that holds the image of your smile the day of your first tball game.

If only I could have a shelf like that. One that I could visit any time to relive those experiences again and again.

Tonight you're five. You haven't mastered reading yet, so you sing the words you know by heart and fudge the rest adding in woots and yeahs as you see fit.

No stage fright. No performance anxiety. You haven't discovered those yet.

There are tears in my eyes and my heart feels like it's ready to burst just listening to you sing without a care in the world. I wish I could keep the world this way for you forever--the way it is right now. But I can't keep those bottles on the shelf and I can't stop you from growing up.

My hope however is this: No matter how old you are you'll always sing with abandon and be exactly who you want to be regardless of who is watching.

I Googled Him Today

2009-11-02T16:06:00.003-05:00

We haven't talked in such a long time. It's been even longer since I've seen him.

If you ask me, I'll tell you that I don't have any feelings about him at all.

None.

Really.

I can summon nothing.

He is part of my past like kids from elementary school who moved away, like that shirt you had to have in 7th grade and only remember now when you leaf through the photo album at your mom's house.

He was there one day--such an integral part of my life--and the next he was gone. The pain in the beginning was fierce, but when it subsided the relief erased everything. No more drama.

So why? Why today?

Why was the last thought I had before falling asleep last night one that suggested I should google him today?

I felt dirty just typing his name. I was embarrassed. What if someone found out I had looked for him? Was I really "looking" for him, or just wanting to know if he was still out there?

My upper lip is pulled up in a scowl as I type this now. I'm disgusted that I did it. Thinking that by admitting it here I will cleanse myself of this thing--this act of typing twelve letters and pressing Enter.

You'd think by my description there was abuse. There wasn't. Well, unless you consider abandoning your 10 & 12 year old daughters with no notice abuse. Most days I don't. I've often considered it a favor.

He just walked away one day.

His name doesn't deserve to be uttered. It most certainly doesn't deserve to be written. And I think that's why I'm so repulsed by the fact that I did. I think I'm worried that just by mentioning him by name he will somehow manifest from thin air, and I REALLY don't want that to happen.

So Many Interests, So Little Time

2009-11-01T11:30:00.004-05:00

My desire to learn about so many things and to master (okay become proficient) a number of skills has reached epic level.

And this whole oh yeah I'm a political consultant thing can get in the way some days.

Plus? Sleeping?

How am I going to become a world famous photographer/knitter/gardener/well-read/self-actualized/uber-Mom/social media maven/baseball parent with all this work and sleep taking up my time?!

I've already given up the laundry, cooking and most of the cleaning (until my parents come in town or I'm hosting a real party), and still there is never enough time. This doesn't even take into account the roots and eyebrows that constantly require maintenance.

Oh and also I should have added "organized, beautiful home-owning and fabulously fashionable" to my list above.

Shit.

Guess we're all going to have to settle for friendly chick.

Lessons Learned This Weekend

2009-10-18T21:31:00.006-04:00

In the Kitchen

You can cook by candlelight as long as the stove, oven and refrigerator aren't on the mysterious circuit that blew in the middle of making dinner and refuses to come back on.

Two trays of lasagna are put together. One is in the oven, the other is waiting its turn. I'm patting myself on the back for making a dish ahead of time for the week--and there's even another one to go in the freezer for next week or the week after.

(I wouldn't normally show you a photo so blurry, but I was taking it by candlelight and my tripod was in the car. You can see my dilemma.)

So I'll remember later, one box of noodles is enough for two trays. You need two large containers of ricotta, one and half large bottles of sauce (come on, I didn't have any lights in my kitchen!) or three regular sized bottles, two pounds of ground meat and one package of mild italian sausage and one HUGE bag of shredded mozarella.

There are so many incredible websites out there with recipes that could keep me cooking for the rest of my life. This site was one I found this week. I'm gonna try the bread pudding from this post first.

Photography

Shooting babies is hard.

Even a giant picture window and turning all the lights on in the room aren't going to give you the light you need to shoot without a flash (and a bunch of post-processing) on a rainy day.

My friend was so kind to allow me to practice on her gorgeous six month old yesterday. Little Faye has this incredible red, curly hair and the chubbiest cheeks.

You can get enough light to shoot outside on a rainy day as long as you have covered place to shoot.

Can you believe the eyes on this one?

And him? The youngest of four and a personality to make sure he doesn't go unnoticed.

Another terrific friend ~~threatened me if I didn't come shoot her kids~~ was willing to let me take some shots of her kids so I could do some portfolio building.

Me

There might be a link between perfectionism and shame. I don't know what it is yet, but I've downloaded I Thought it was Just Me because of the cool read along project the author set up on her blog.

I've long known that I've missed out on exciting adventures in my life because I was too afraid of failure. When I noticed that same trait emerging in one of my sons recently I wanted to find out how to beat back the beast. I so want for my boys to live lives filled with adventure.

How was your weekend?

Maybe You Haven't Seen Me

2009-10-17T13:26:00.002-04:00

Conventional wisdom among blogging gurus is the key to a successful blog is finding your niche and concentrating on that.

What if you don't have a niche? Would I have more readers if I did? Am I writing for readers? Is this blog about me or you the reader?

When I talk to people about social media I too stress the importance of putting out information that is not about you, but about them. Now I'd argue that can be done in different ways. What I mean when I say it is don't just tweet links back to your blog or RT what others have said (though RTs are a sign of good citizenship), but take part in a conversation--or start one.

The emphasis here is on the social part of media.

Social, to me, is about community and conversation and sharing of ideas. It's about having a discussion rather than spamming each other so that neither of us hears what the other is saying. I'd argue that our world would be a much better place if this happened more often.

So what does this have to do with what I put out on my blog?

Well I clearly don't have a niche. I write about my kids (but not only them), I share some of my photographs (but I'm not a photo blogger), there is the infrequent insertion of politics (I live in DC after all), when a cool offer comes along I like to share that too (but you're not coming here for coupon codes). And then there are the days I tell you a little something about me (but do you really know who I am?). I like to make you laugh. I feel like I owe you that--or at least a grin--for lending me your eyes, but I'm no Jenny.

So who am I here? Why am I here? Why do I put out my words for all the world to see, and why do I like it when people are compelled to add their thoughts to my own?

I think I like to know that I'm not the only one. Sure I'd love to be an original, but I like to know too that my life resonates with yours.

That's the "social" in social media to me.

I've been subscribing to new blogs left and right lately. I'm adding disparate sites that speak to me, to who I am right now. I've subscribed to Scientific American, m. writes, design crush, zen habits and the fat girl's guide just to name a few.

Pretty varied that group--sort of like my posts.

I want you to see me. I want to be honest here. And if I admit something that to me seems ugly, I'd like people to be attracted to my writing. But with interests as varied as mine, how do I find a niche?

There are personal questions I'm asking myself these days. It may be the impending big birthday. I feel like I'm on the cusp of change. I'm going to be taking you along with me as these questions flesh out. I hope you find something in my words that speak to you. And I hope you'll add your own to them--even if it seems I'm all over the place.

All Fired Up!

2009-10-14T23:24:00.002-04:00

The great thing about the blog medium is you can post immediate responses to breaking news or events.

Sometimes providing an immediate response is not the best idea.

If I were to publish a post tonight about The White House and moms and about using new media tools to create the appearance of concern about the opinions of a particular segment of society--a segment that makes the majority of family financial decisions in this country, a segment that is disproportionately effected by the global economic crisis--but follow-up with partial actions and behind schedule, I would not be diplomatic.

And if I've learned anything in my 16 years in DC, it's that diplomacy is appreciated by those in power.

So tonight I will go to sleep and let my blood cool down. Tomorrow however...

DC Acronyms Attack--FDA, TSA, CFPA

2009-10-12T19:22:00.005-04:00

If you live in the DC area long enough, you get used to the myriad of government acronyms. I have friends who work for the CIA, DEA, ICE, BATF, IRS, DOT, OMB, FEC, DOJ and a host of others.

I learned about yet another new acronym today. Emily and Cooper over at The Motherhood pointed me to a recent announcement by the White House calling for Congress to form the CFPA or the Consumer Financial Protection Agency. You can read more about it here and here.

The White House, in an effort to expand online engagement, is reaching out to a variety of online communities--including mom bloggers--to take our questions about financial regulatory reform.

FINALLY, someone who wants to talk to me as a mom blogger about something besides diapers! And its The White House no less! I couldn't be happier that our elected officials are beginning to understand the role of mothers (all parents, really) as financial decision makers and the effect stable markets have on our day to day life.

Upon Emily and Cooper's encouragement, I submitted the following questions.

1. What effect will the proposed Consumer Financial Protection Agency (CFPA) have on current regulatory agencies? Will regulators and rules be consolidated under this new umbrella? Which agencies in particular will be moved? How long will it take to streamline the process? How will overlapping regulations or loopholes be closed if contradictions exist?

2. Which, if any, provisions will be put in place under this new agency to protect those Americans who practice fiscal responsibility? In other words, which specific provisions will be put in place to make it more lucrative for financial institutions to conduct honest business with financially responsible clients rather than what they can stand to gain by exploiting those who are in desperate financial situations?

Tomorrow, the Chair of the Council of Economic Advisers, Dr. Christina Romer, a mom of three herself, will answer our questions directly by video.

I wonder if mine will make the cut. You know I'll keep you posted.

Eco Wo-Man! Eco Wo-Man!

2009-10-06T17:32:00.009-04:00

I'm hoping you sang the title of this post to the Wonder Woman theme song. Go ahead. Go back and do it. I'll wait.

There's a lot of introspection going down for me these days.

In addition to attending this amazing workshop, I enrolled myself in Mondo Beyondo for this month's session.

I've cracked open The Artist's Way and while I haven't started on the morning pages yet, I'm seriously considering them. (If I tell you that the book has been sitting on my shelf for the last 15 years, the fact that I'm considering doing them will all of the sudden seem like a giant leap forward.)

Last weekend I spent time in the desert with these incredible women participating in the Brand About Town Advisory Board retreat.

The scenery brought me to tears.

We hiked.

We talked.

We laughed.

And despite this photo, we quite noticeably ignored technology without any prior agreement.

The desert is quiet to a girl like me who lives so close to the city. I returned a bit tired, but emotionally renewed. (Christine does a very good job of explaining much of it, but I'm pretty sure I've also discovered some primordial Jim Morrison need for a regular peyote-induced dance in the desert.*)

This is all a long-winded way of getting around to the point that now that I'm looking all inward and thinking about doing morning pages and stuff, I'm clearly becoming more green.

Case in point. I haven't quite reached the Diva Cup stage, but this morning I remembered to recycle an empty tampon box.

Mamma Loves the earth and the earth loves me.

*Mamma Loves, nor Brand About Town, endorse the use of peyote. Reference to peyote above does not represent actual usage of peyote, but is used solely for comic effect--unless of course you have some peyote and want to go to the desert with me to dance. Be prepared however to listen to a LOT of 70's disco because...well...it's just about the best music for dancing when you're high on peyote. Not that I've ever done that. As far as you know.

Want to Get Your Small Business up on Social Media?

2009-10-05T23:42:00.003-04:00

It seems like many people I run across in the social media world are thinking about starting up small businesses or have already started one.

As you probably know, I've been an editor with Kirtsy for some time so I'm pretty excited to be involved in this new project.

Kirtsy is bringing a lot of us together in October and November to get our hands on small business… and give practical advice, instruction, and application to rock out some of our favorite free online and social media solutions.

Theyʼre joining up with the cool, smart people at Microsoft Office Live to do 100 Hands On Small
Business sessions in October and November.

100 sessions! 100 FREE sessions.

You heard it here (you can thank me later). Seriously. Weʼre talking 100 fun, practical gatherings of goodness to show you and yours a few new easy things to take up online.

Itʼs true. Women (and hey the brothers are invited too) across the country will be coming together this Fall for the October and November Hands On Small Business (#HOSB) series — all brought to you in by the Politics, World and Business section of Kirtsy and the very good people of Microsoft Office Live.

All of the 100 gatherings will be held October 5– November 22 in 20 areas across the country including:

NEW YORK
CHICAGO
COLUMBUS
CHARLOTTE
SAN FRANCISCO
LOS ANGELES / ORANGE COUNTY
DENVER
SALT LAKE CITY
DALLAS
HOUSTON
AUSTIN
ATLANTA
WASHINGTON DC
BOSTON
SEATTLE
PORTLAND
OKLAHOMA CITY
TORONTO
LITTLE ROCK
MIAMI

Each session will be hosted and led by Kirtsy editors, Kirtsy founders and Kirtsy friends, who just want to get together to show you some new (and maybe not so new) cool things that will help make your online life easier, smarter and definitely more interesting.

So if theyʼre coming to a city near you, please plan to join in on the fun! And bring your laptop if you have one!

Not in your city? Well, darn. You have two options:

1. Let them know where your city is, and theyʼll try to put it on the list for the next round of fun.

2. Get yourself to one of these cities on the scheduled dates. Go ahead. Plan a field trip.

You can find out all the info you need to know at the Hands On Small Business site. You can find out all about the awesome instructors (yep that's me all the way down under DC). The excellent variety of dates.

So get ready, and get set to go save your spot in your favorite site.

Feel free too to pass this info on to others you think might be interested. No need to be a blogger or even have any social media experience. This is truly a 101 course.

And tell me what you think about it--that is unless you come to my sessions and you think I suck. Cause then...well let's just say we're working with a fragile ego here people.

When Everything Comes Together

2009-09-28T21:16:00.007-04:00

When a one line email arrives in the middle of the night, point your nose into the breeze and take in the winds of change.

You may be too tired to grasp all that the email portends at the time, but stick it in your wallet like a Chinese fortune. I promise you will look at it later and marvel at the accuracy of its prediction.

Three months ago, Aimee sent me an email (not an actual cookie, though that would have been good too) with this message.

That was all it said except for the inclusion of a link to this.

I've been carrying around a camera since the late 70's. I still remember my very first one. It was a cheapo 110 that Santa brought me to take pictures on my upcoming trip to Disney World (a huge gift from grandmother). I was nine. All of the pictures from that trip are off-center because the viewfinder wasn't lined up with the lens. I can still smell the scent of the burned out flash bar.

The 110 was followed by a series of point and shoot film cameras, an SLR, a couple of digital point and shoots and finally two years ago a digital SLR. I thought everyone owned a camera of some sort or another. It wasn't until I posted a bunch of old photos on Facebook recently (much to the chagrin of many friends) that I realized my assumption was wrong.

You'd think after all of those cameras I'd know a thing or two about photography. But I didn't. Not really. I knew that I liked to capture moments. I was ecstatic when a photo actually came out sort of the way I imagined it would. But I'll let you in on a secret: it was all just a matter of statistics. If you shoot enough, you're bound to end up with one or two you love. Despite a desire to take a photography class, I still hadn't gotten around to it.

Over the past year or two, I'd been lurking around blogs with beautiful photography. I actually wound up the nerve to ask Yvonne and Aimee for a few pointers. Yvonne pointed me to this book (which I bought immediately--she said it changed her photography completely) and Aimee provided me with constant encouragement--that is until she sent me that link.

I knew of Me Ra through reputation. I knew other bloggers spoke her name in hushed tones. The workshop seemed like a bit of an investment, but photography was really becoming a hobby, so I signed up for the workshop.

And then I freaked out!

I was going to sit in a room with this amazing photographer and 19 other women who knew about aperature and f-stop and shutter speed and probably the Pythagorean Theorem--some of them even had their own photography businesses!

What the f*ck was I thinking?! I was going to embarrass myself.

Last weekend arrived, and the moment I met Me Ra my fears disappeared. I believe it's impossible to be around that smile, around her light and not feel inspired.

Yes she taught us how to leave the automatic settings behind and shoot entirely in manual (ENTIRELY IN MANUAL! You can do it too!), but that was such a small part of our weekend workshop. The very first note I took had nothing to do with photography at all.

"Anytime you can speak in front of people about what you do, the better."

And my second:

"What you have is enough."

Yes Me Ra is a published writer and an incredible photographer, but she is so much more. Me Ra was put on this planet to inspire women. Her artistic talents are just the tools she uses to speak to our hearts.

"Step back from your images and see what your soul is trying to tell you."

I've had a copy of The Artist's Way on my shelf for 15 years. I don't know that I've ever gotten further than the Table of Contents. That was until Me Ra started our workshop reflecting on a quote she pulled out of her well-worn copy.

I smiled as I looked at the book laying on the table in front of her. The cover was faded, the binding floppy and a rainbow of sticky notes adorned pages like ceremonial feathers. It reminded me of my copy of Let's Go Europe that still sits proudly on my shelf almost 20 years after that great trip.

My copy of The Artist's Way is no longer on the shelf but now sitting next to my computer where I can easily grab it when I can steal a few minutes to be inspired. I was so euphoric after the workshop I was mad when I had to return to work the next day. All I wanted to do was take advantage of the light outside, play with my photos in my free trial of Lightroom and spend the rest of my time reading and continuing on my path to creativity.

Oh yeah, I have a family and a job and house and...and...

But you know what? It's okay. Because last week I came across this post by Leo Babauta.

"Holding ourselves back is often considered a bad thing, but it’s not. It’s the best thing we can do, if we want changes to last. When we start a new change, often we are full of enthusiasm. But then we go all out and use up all of that enthusiasm, and run out of motivation or energy or get distracted by something else. But when you hold yourself back, you build up enthusiasm and keep it going for much longer..."

How did he know I needed to read this?

I'm the queen of charging full-steam ahead and burning out just as fast. I don't want to do it this time though. All this confluence of events and ideas and skills and encouragement, it needs to be treated differently. I know this moment is special.

I am full of anticipation with what will come. I am already seeing changes.

As of tonight, I'm not sure what my soul is trying to say through the images yet, but I'm liking what they are whispering.

Monday Inspired

2009-09-21T13:02:00.005-04:00

I had an incredible weekend. So much so, I'm still letting it wash over me before I even begin to think about what it all means.

In the meantime, I hope this gives you some inspiration to look at the world through the lens of gratitude.

The procrastinator in me is taking a bit longer than 21 days to complete the Challenge, but I see it as an opportunity to consciously think about gratitude for even longer. I know I am seeing the world differently through this practice.

Want to try it out? You can do it right here.

Gratitude Challenge

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» Join the challenge

» Read participating blogs

tiny prints

Did I Mention I Knit?

2009-09-11T22:23:00.004-04:00

Yeah. Not really. But I'm trying to learn.

I picked up this incredible self-striping yarn in April.

And in less than a week I had this (My model complained that it's too hot. Perfect for cold days I say.). Nobody told me how addictive this knitting is.

For my next trick, I went online and ordered scads of bright colored cotton yarn to attempt a log cabin blanket.

I chose my youngest to be the recipient of my first blanket thinking he'd be less likely to notice any flaws. Little did I know I'd create a task master. G*d forbid I sit down and do nothing. All I hear is "Mom why aren't you knitting? You need to be knitting my blanket." I apologize now to his future spouse.

The end of the blanket is near and the fantastic folks over at Try Handmade hipped me to a newish fiber store not far from my office/house (remind me to call Erika when I need to be bailed out of debtors prison).

Well at Fibre Space I found this beautiful wool. I have ~~deluded~~ challenged myself to knit a sweater out of it.

Stop laughing. At least my goodies all came in this adorable reusable bag.

My Work Here is Done

2009-09-10T21:29:00.003-04:00

Though winded from my happy dance, I wanted to be sure to record for posterity the conversation my son and I just had in the car.

Mr. Cool 8th Grader: Mom! I love history this year. It's not really history. It's civics. We're talking about government and politics and stuff.

Me: I loved civics.

(I was a political science major you know)

MC8G: We talked about the President's speech today.

Me: Really?

(thinking he's referring to the President's speech to the students)

MC8G: Yeah. That guy who yelled out...what an idiot. I mean he's the President. You have to respect the office, ya know. It's okay to think bad things, but you can't always say them. He's going to get it.

Me: See why I've been telling you that about not always having to comment on ev-ery thing? Did you know that Congressman's likely opponent in the next election raised over $350k in the last 24 hours? All for that one little sentence he yelled.

(Pause while MC8G scarfs down the rest of his burrito.)

MC8G: You know, if there weren't men in this world there probably wouldn't be any wars. That's just my two cents on it.

Me: (Trying to concentrate above the sounds of angels singing in my ears) What makes you say that?

MC8G: I don't know it's complicated.

Me: Is it because you think women wouldn't start wars?

MC8G: Yeah. They probably wouldn't solve problems that way.

Me: Well not all men want to solve problems that way.

MC8G: Oh I know. Some people have to fight. It's their job.

Me: Yes. If you're in the military you have to follow orders. That is your job. War isn't always wrong, but sometimes we do get in wars we probably don't have to.

MC8G: Why can't we just be like Australia and kick back with our kangaroos? They just hang out. They don't bother anyone.

Me: Well sometimes they join in.

MC8G: But most the time they're hanging out on the porch petting their kangaroos. That's what we should be like.

I'd like to believe this is all due to my incredible parenting, but HE CAME UP WITH THESE IDEAS ON HIS OWN PEOPLE!

This is the same child who shaved off most of his eyebrows in first grade because he thought they were getting too long.

I think I should probably quit here while I'm ahead.

Enjoying the Sameness

2009-09-01T23:16:00.006-04:00

It wasn't the first time I slept on the main floor at my aunt and uncle's house.

The house has been the location of family gatherings for long before I was around. My aunt and uncle inherited it from my great-grandfather. We think he bought it from his father. We don't really know how long it's been there, that's just as far back as anyone living knows the story.

It isn't a big house, though it does have three bedrooms, so when the family gets together--usually at Easter--you sleep wherever you can find space. Since most of my life I have been part of the youngest generation that usually meant I camped on the floor.

Last week, I woke up on the couch after a restless night's sleep. I needed to get up and start getting ready, but I just lay there taking in the sounds and smells that were both familiar and comforting.

The smell of coffee brewing. The sounds of voices catching up over breakfast. Silverware clinking on dishes. Footsteps padding on the wood floor. No sound is too harsh. Each is round and just a bit muted by the lifetime of possessions that fill the house.

I can taste the Rice Chex and creamy milk that I'm going to eat. There are always Rice Chex in my aunt's cupboard.

I'll be greeted by the "adults." I'll be called "sleepy head" and I'll give them the same smile I have since I was teenager (the yep I love to sleep smile).

I know exactly what the next thirty minutes will entail and yet I lay still soaking it all in for just a few minutes more, because I know this is the last time I'll enjoy the routine.

For after breakfast, we'll be showering and dressing and getting in the car to head to my aunt's funeral. This will be the last family gathering in the house. Everyone has moved away--moved on. The house will be sold.

It's time to get up now, and it's okay. I will have those sounds and smells in my head forever, and for that I am grateful.

Like You Say All the Time Now...Really?!

2009-08-27T13:20:00.005-04:00

Ten years ago today you were tearing open presents in a room full of adults. I'll admit we were in a little over our heads. You had been living with us for five months and we were still all getting used to each other. I didn't know how to throw a birthday party for a four year-old.

There was cake and a character-themed paper table cloth and party hats. There weren't any other kids. You never complained once.

And today you're a teenager! You complain a lot now--but I know the hormones are to blame for that.

In you I still see that beautiful little boy, but now I am also beginning to see the incredible man you will become (that is if you don't stop rolling your eyes at me every other minute, because if that doesn't stop you might not see 14).

Happy Birthday Dude! I am so proud to be your mom.

I'm Grateful for My Kids...Really...I am. Wha?!

2009-08-25T11:51:00.005-04:00

So I was charged with the task of creating a video post talking about what I am grateful for in my life. Yesterday was crazy. I woke up late and rushed around the rest of the day trying to make up for it. I don't have video skills. I knew there was no way I was going to edit up some fantastic piece in one day and properly give tribute to all of the things I'm grateful for.

But I had a video camera.

And of course I had my kids (they're always hanging around).

What a brilliant idea! I'll film my kids being sweet and loving and talk about how much they've changed my life...enriched it.

They were more interested in the cat.*

I've developed an enhanced sense of humor since having kids (I had to). I think that's pretty cool.

And yes that was my underwear you saw flying behind my head. So much for the folded clothes--and my dignity.

*No children were seriously injured in the making of this video and the cat had already hidden herself far away from the crazies. Though head-butted by his younger brother, my middle son has his mother's hard head and popped up unscathed just moments later.

Today I Was the Mean Mommy (insert evil cackle here)

2009-08-23T22:44:00.010-04:00

Yesterday's rain storms left us with a gorgeous day today.

My garden needing weeding, the carport needed organizing and well who doesn't want to spend some time at the pool. But were the adults in this family doing that today?

No.

There we were pulling everything out of the car port so we could power wash the siding to remove the dirt encrusted spray of what looked like a case of soda. (I'm not sure it wasn't that much.)

Apparently, when you get a group of kids together and provide them with an ice tub full of soda it's really fun to shake them up and spray them at each other.

So we're pulling out trash cans, setting up the power washer (and fighting over who gets to use it) when I look inside and notice that all three of our boys are inside in the air conditioning sitting out the couch playing video games.

Oh no they weren't!!

All of the sudden I had a wonderful idea!

Boys come here please. Go get the bucket, a few scrub brushes and sponges and the dish soap and come out here please.

The boys were going to learn a lesson.

Oh cool! Yay bubbles! Can we wash the car next?

Yeah that lasted five minutes.

My arm hurts.

I'm doing all the work.

I've been scrubbing for 20 minutes and it won't come off.

You're a horrible mom.

Why yes my children. Yes I am. But my siding is clean and I'm thinking the next time you go to shake up a soda you might remember all the fun you had today.

Friends In Real LIfe

2009-08-20T22:41:00.002-04:00

Two years ago, a blond saw a face in the audience. She watched a head nod and eyes that made contact, and with each cue she found her speaking voice.

The brunette with the nodding head was so earnest, so unschooled, so wanted to fit in. The words she was hearing helped her believe in herself.

A friendship began when one person listened as the other one spoke. They had no idea how much the other needed what each was there to give.

Laughter. Honesty. Support. Space. All given and received without one expectation.

Tonight the brunette spoke, actually poured out her guts.

And the blond?

She listened and nodded.

****************************************************
I am taking part in a Gratitude Challenge. For 21 days I am practicing gratitude for the little (and big) things all around me. Tonight's post is a love letter to all of my incredible friends.

Sometimes You Just Have to Think About Something

2009-08-19T21:38:00.008-04:00

Conventional wisdom says that you need three weeks to form a good habit.

Coincidental that I've been challenged to spend the next 21 days practicing gratitude?

I think not.

Man those people are sneaky. I think I should thank them first for inspiring me to look at my life with a little more gratitude.

I really do have so much to be grateful for.

It's funny how things come together at some points in your life as if all roads led to the same intersection.

Monday morning I sat down with my boss to catch up from the weekend and our discussion turned into a conversation about living in the present--and I hadn't even gotten to the part where I was going to tell her about this Gratitude Challenge.

Practicing a little gratitude is an act that I'm sure can benefit each of us individually and translate into a world that is a little more pleasant to inhabit, but for people like me it's not always easy.

I mean one of my nicknames growing up was Eeyore. "Nice day. So far." (Thanks mom.)

She swears she called me that because I was a worrier and not because I was so negative as a kid, but I will admit that I've spent a good deal of my life looking at the contents of the glass as miserably half gone.

Now I look back at the birth of my children and see that it was probably the point where I began to consider that there might be more left in the glass than I had originally thought. There are still days when I'm not always sure, but just seeing the potential once is really all you need.

So today I proclaim publicly that I will try to form a new, good habit of regularly practicing a little gratitude.

I probably should have started this on Monday, (I'm not sure you're supposed to begin a new habit on a Monday--or that's what I'm standing by) but I needed few days to process this whole thing. And I've noticed something while I've been mulling this idea over.

There are a lot of things I never realized I was grateful for until I startedthinking about the word. Now? I see them everywhere--even in situations that don't initially seem promising (I do have a teenager in my house).

So will I turn all gooey and gross and leave you with a cavity by the end of the first week?

Let's be real. I live with a man and three boys. I'm just going to be grateful that I get to hear the sounds of all those farts.

Amie LIVE

2009-08-17T23:05:00.009-04:00

So here it is...my first vlog!

Untitled from mammaloves on Vimeo.

This is my first attempt. It recorded in .avi and I saved it down to .wmv to load to YouTube. Lost a lot of quality when I did that. If you have any suggestions for doing it differently, PLEASE share!!

Edited to add: The YouTube video sucked. I got a message from Vimeo that my video was done uploading. Right now I don't know what format it's in, but the quality is now better. Hmmm. Still want to hear how you do it. What is the best format to save it in?

Cue the Mommy War

2009-07-16T14:46:00.004-04:00

The mommy wars draw lots of attention. People like nothing more than women fighting whether it's over a man or about how to raise children or in mud.

I hate nothing more.

As women, we moved apart during the Industrial Revolution. We moved to cities--away from our families and away from the women who were our support systems. The focus of our attention became the men who brought home a paycheck. We began to see one another as a threat rather than an extension of our network.

That's just dumb (my intelligence is blinding, no?).

I say this all in an effort to mitigate any comments that might be made about what I am about to write next.

cue the whining...

It's summer. My kids are home. Family events are taking place. The weather is gorgeous. My garden needs attention. My house is a mess.

I WANT TO STAY HOME. I DON'T WANT TO GO TO THE OFFICE ANYMORE.

Stupid money and bills and luxuries and travel. If it weren't for you, I'd be job-title free!

And poor.

Oh well. Back to work.

Real Moms Redux

2009-07-10T10:27:00.005-04:00

I wrote this quite some time ago, but I'm replaying it today because honestly...I like it still. Hope you do too.

I originally wrote this post back in the day of memes in response to Queen of the Mayhem and Janet a.k.a. Wonder Mom. The task was to describe a real mom.

Those two women each hit the mark dead on with their posts, and I wasn't sure what I was going to be able to add. Looking back on on it and the time that has passed since I wrote it I am so grateful for the relationships I've developed with so many amazing real moms I've met through blogging and other social networks. Through their stories, they have reaffirmed my belief that the following is absolutely true.

Real moms? You want to know the ugly truth? Our deepest, darkest secret?

We have NO shame.

Sure real moms look around the table at a work meeting and secretly want to look like the single fashionistas, but they'll wear an outfit from Target if it means their chilren get the birthday present of their dreams or a memorable vacation.

Real moms gag at the smell of vomit, but they'll go to the pharmacy with it in their hair when their toddler is running a fever and can't keep anything down.

Real moms will clean toilets at a bar if it means their family has food on the table.

Real moms will exhaust themselves raising kids by themselves rather than modeling a "normal" relationship as loveless or violent.

Real moms might try to have children naturally, but they'll love the ones they get with every fiber of their being regardless of any genetic relationship.

You can try every trick you have to put down a real mom, but it ain't gonna phase her. When it comes to her family there isn't anything she wouldn't do.

You want to demean her? You want to degrade her? You want to make her invisible? You want to treat her as less than equal?

Fine. As long as you're willing to be met with the ferocity of tiger. Because a real mom will battle to the death to protect her family and provide a safe and loving environment in which her children can grow up to be healthy and happy.

Oh, and she'll have an army of Target clothes-wearing, toilet brush-holding, vomit spewn-haired women standing behind her to take you on. Because that's what real moms do.

Clearly She's Been Working Out (or in?)

2009-07-08T11:49:00.005-04:00

Mamma here ever prepared to keep you up to date on breaking news.

This morning we learned that a new Guinness world record has been set!

While I'm inspired by the fact that there is still time for me to challenge this record, my desire to dig deeper into the story for you, my readers, was not satisfied.

My first question, of course, was "well who holds the record for the world's strongest pen*s?"

Before I could find that answer though, I came upon this headline.

Typical. It wasn't the woman's accomplishment.

Wanting to get the rest of the story, I didn't allow myself to become distracted and ~~went right to Google~~ followed more leads in search of the record holder.

It seems the folks at Guinness aren't as concerned with finding the world's strongest pen*s (male judges can't handle the competition, hmmm?).

The best information I could find was at least a year old and comes to us from the far East. (do not click w/small children on lap; however, if you have teen-aged boys call them over immediately and tell them this is what you'll do to them if they have sex before they are 35.)

My ~~journalistic~~ blogging instincts told me not to trust that source. I was suspicious of the fact that the gentleman's back is turned to us and that he is naked except for a strap around his waist.

I continued my search ~~for two more minutes~~ and found that World's Strongest Pen*s remains a record yet to be set. A certain company claims to have "the world's strongest pen*s enlargement formula", but I'm fairly certain drug use would disqualify you from the the title.

So readers, what did we learn today?

You're never too old to set a Guiness world record (Get Kegeling* girls. We can't let the Russians beat us!). AND, guys start "lifting." You still have a chance to be the first!

*Am I the only one who finds the irony in the name and product line of this company?

Very Superstitious

2009-07-06T23:15:00.004-04:00

I want to write about what is taking up all of my time right now, but I can't.

Let's just say that one of my three sons is on a certain baseball team.

My husband hasn't shaved in three weeks. I've been driving a pick-up truck instead of my normal car for three weeks. This year no CDs were created to get the team pumped up before games (they were NOT good luck). I bring the same cooler to every game. I even have a friend who texts me before every game and once during the game to get and update because he's been doing so for each game.

There are plans to go to the beach in two weeks. There are plans for me to go to BlogHer in three. I went ahead and bought a plane ticket to Chicago because not doing so would be a slap in the face to the "gods of the diamond."

You just can't mess with things.

I can reveal that I have developed zits on my cheeks for the first time in 25 years. There are approximately 17 lbs of infield dirt in my car. And yes...

I am a baseball mom.

Now keep your fingers crossed or do whatever lucky things you need to do.

I'm not joking. Get to it!

When You Have an Addict in Your Life

2009-07-01T22:38:00.003-04:00

There's been an addict in my life for over twenty years.

I've locked my doors. I've hidden my purse. And I've been stolen from regardless.

I've been mad. I've cried. I've been hurt. I've been embarrassed and ridiculously angry.

I've pretended not to care.

I've done to Al-Anon, and yet the worry remains.

My sister has been "clean" for the past four years to the best of my knowledge. She might actually be finding the way to live with her addiction, but just one overheard conversation and my temptation to go into "she's high again" mode jumps on my shoulders like one of Jack Hanna's animals going after David Letterman.

My goal each time is just to keep the animal from taking a crap on my head.

Last night I overheard my son talking to his mom (my sister). I could hear him repeatedly asking her what she was talking about. Each time he said it I felt my shoulders pull higher and higher.

"Why isn't she making sense?" "Is she slurring her words?" "Fuck, she's using again."

We learn in Al-Anon that the addicts' problems are not ours--that we don't have to react to them. But when you're raising the addict's child how can it not affect you?

I AM a mamma lion. Don't mess with my kids or I'll cut you.

I won't think twice about it.

Even if you are my sister.