Elsie's Space

For All the World to See

2008-11-05T09:45:00.002-05:00

Times are changing.

Senator Barack Obama becomes President-Elect Barack Obama.

Did you see the world dance?

Amazing!!

Preaching to the Choir

2008-11-04T04:39:00.003-05:00

Today's our chance to show the world that we're ready. I sure wish Mom-in-law, Dad, Grandma, Winston, and Tim Russert were all here to see it.

God bless the United States of America.

VOTE!!!

Bittersweet

2008-11-03T09:44:00.003-05:00

As of last night, they're 8-0. No, not my beloved Pats who lost Tommy for the season during the first quarter of the first game this year. 8-0. Tennessee. Bittersweet.

There Are No Words

2008-08-01T08:27:00.000-04:00

1911-2008

My Dear Grandma

2008-07-29T05:49:00.012-04:00

Luggage is loaded and will be hoisted by crane onto the ferry.

Sitting in port, ready to sail!

The Captain's girl. Isn't she a beauty?

Arrival Port -- Quaint

When are they open?

The rocky shores of New England

The old fashioned lobster bake

Glad to see us go? The entire island population

came for the send off!

Elsie Sings the Blues

2008-07-24T07:26:00.003-04:00

Okay, I'm not really singing, something for which you should be forever grateful, but I'm still feeling them -- the blues, that is. It seems that just when I think I'm finally starting to get over all the sadness of the past few months, something else comes along and just brings it all right back. It might be a song, someone's words, a memory, a thought. Or it could be something else. This time it was the death of our dear friend, Winston. And his death did more than bring back a case of the blues. It added to it. A thousand fold. Because even though we had never met, Winston touched my life. And I miss him.

I've thought about other bloggers who've said that they love reading tons of blogs. They love all the friends they've made. They love that hundreds of people come calling every day. And I wonder why I'm not one of them. I guess that, for me, my blog friends are a lot like my real friends. I have several close friends. I love the ones I have. I really don't want too many more. Maybe it's my New England upbringing. It's said that New Englanders are stand-offish. Perhaps we are. Perhaps I am. Perhaps it's that the fewer people you really let into you life, the less likely you are to be hurt.

The point I'm trying to make is that there are only a few blogs I visit frequently. And to lose one voice among them...well, it's like losing a member of my family, a real friend. And it hurts.

Now I've thought about what my mother-in-law, my dad, and Winston would say. All of them, and I believe Winston in particular, would want to kick my ass. My dad would want to too, but he'd do it softly. So... to honor the memory of the three I've lost lately, I've decided to try yet again to get back to it. Back to living. Back to life.

Tomorrow husband is taking me to a teeny, tiny, almost-deserted island off of Martha's Vineyard. Three couples are going for three days. I can feel myself being rejuvenated just thinking about it. I plan to eat lots, drink some, and do some other things I can't write about here. I'll try to take lots of photos, starting with the ferry trip over. Maybe I'll even come up with something witty to say. Who knows what could happen?!!

I wish all of you who read this, my best blogging friends (you know who you are), a wonderful weekend full of fun, family and friends. I will be back next week with photos. I promise. Love and peace to all.

Farewell

2008-07-01T06:46:00.002-04:00

WINSTON RAND

1942-2008

"HE WAS A PRETTY GOOD GUY"

W W W D ?

2008-06-27T08:12:00.003-04:00

2008-06-24T08:15:00.002-04:00

School's out.

Home is overrun by children, big and small.

Boat is almost ready to hit the water.

Had a big birthday party for sister's 50th.

Grandma is doing well and just celebrated her 97th.

Daughter just turned 10. We've added two guinea pigs to our family.

Our 15th wedding anniversary is on the 28th.

Son is excited about starting at a new school and is already participating in their summer arts program.

I've been reading blogs.

I'm still not inspired to write more than you see here.

I survived Father's Day, though it wasn't easy. I miss him more every day.

Peace.

Illusions

2008-05-19T07:26:00.005-04:00

It's all an illusion. This photo. The way I've been moving through my life. Going through the motions, day after day. Getting on with things. Attending year-end concerts, plays, parents' nights. And always with a smile.

Oh yes, I know I've been bad, so very bad, about keeping up with this blogging thing. I've tried and tried, but for some reason it's here that the real me keeps showing up. The tears come, and it's not pretty. It doesn't feel right to subject any of you to them. And frankly, I'm sick of my own tales of woe. Here's the latest: my grandma fell a month or so ago and broke her pelvis. She's now in a nursing home where I visit almost daily. See?

Staying busy and not thinking too much helps me get through the days. The nights are harder. It's hard, nearly impossible, to hide from my wonderful Bob. So friends, please bear with me. I promise to be back from time to time. I check in on all your blogs almost every day, I simply don't have much to say right now.

No one ever told me that growing older would be this hard.

Peace and love to you all.

Boy Oh Boy

2008-04-25T06:30:00.002-04:00

According to his girlfriends, son is one of the most handsome boys at school (according to this mom, too). At age 13 he stands 5'10". He's got curly brown hair and an almost perfect smile. Let me correct that. He HAD an almost perfect smile -- until he fell in the basement, right onto his face.

It was pretty darned scary for this mom. I was cooking dinner when I heard him running up the stairs. He had his hands over his nose and mouth screaming, "Help me, Mom. Help Me!" And there he was with blood flowing everywhere. It wasn't pretty.

After an emergency trip to the dentist, he and I both feel better. There was no major damage (fracture), but one of his front teeth moved a lot.
The dentist assured us that he will certainly have a handsome smile again, after a visit to the orthodontist! Yep. My boy with the perfect teeth now needs braces. We have a return visit to the dentist scheduled in two weeks. After that I imagine there will be many trips to the orthodontist.

Boy oh boy.

So Busy

2008-04-19T07:28:00.003-04:00

It's been sooooo busy the past couple of weeks. Good busy. Just-what-I-needed busy. The kids-have-been-on-vacation busy. Beautiful-weather busy. Hope you're all good busy, too!

I've Been Thinking

2008-04-06T06:38:00.007-04:00

What's the deal with the "pregnant man?" He may think he's a man. But, in my opinion, if you have ovaries and a uterus and can carry a baby to term, you are a woman, no matter how much facial hair you have. I don't understand all the fuss about a woman having a baby. I do wish this family well. But, it's not real news and won't be until a real man, with a penis and testicles, becomes pregnant. Now that would be interesting.

I am "the nicest mom in the neighborhood," according to daughter. "What about the whole wide world?" "I wouldn't go that far."

Why do girls have "sleep overs" and boys "spend the night?"

Why does husband's snoring drive me crazy but when he's away I miss it?

I drink my coffee with cream and sugar. I drink my tea with milk and sugar. I need a cup right now. How about you?

Why, when I publish this post, can I not separate the two paragraphs above, no matter how many times I've tried?

I can't seem to separate three now. This is getting ridiculous!

What's Up?

2008-04-02T06:09:00.003-04:00

Took daughter to Riverdance over the weekend. She absolutely loved it. She's been dancing/jumping around the house ever since. Her observation at the start of the show -- "It looks like Irish tap dancing." Then, after some actual tap dancing, "The American men look masculine. The Irish men look feminine." I don't know what else to say. Except that we had a great time!

My taxes are still not done. April 15th sure seems early this year.

I found another "girly" photo in my son's room. I am not a snoop. Never have been. Never will be. Maybe I should rethink that?

I have eaten Easter candy every day since Easter. I am "on a diet." Am I on a diet?

There's a spider living in the new nightlight in the bathroom. I keep meaning to take a photo of it, but the one time I actually went to get the camera, the spider was gone. I looked around for him because it had only been a moment. He was nowhere to be found. Later that day, he was back. Where does he go on his outings? Why has nobody else noticed him? Why don't I kill the ugly thing? I don't have the answers, but I've decided to let him live there as long as he likes (and as long as he stays out of my bedroom).

My daughter has a "boyfriend." She's nine years old and in the fourth grade. "You seem kind of young for a boyfriend. No kissing, okay?" With a grin, "Mom, we don't even talk." Ahhh, to be in the fourth grade.

It's a Pity

2008-03-26T09:29:00.002-04:00

I'm having a little pity party. Not really. But I could be. All I (we) can do now is laugh.

I've been planning a special night this weekend, sans children, with my handsome and ever-so-sexy husband. He's leaving soon on an extended business trip, so I've really been looking forward to this. But then a funny thing happened. I've come down with a case of, get this,

Pityriasis Rosea

Ever heard of it? Me neither, until I saw my doctor yesterday because I was concerned about a few spots that have mysteriously appeared on my body over the past few days. It started out with one spot, then two, then eight, then twelve.... I guess looking bad naked (nude?) isn't anything compared to looking bad naked with spots, as I'm sure you can imagine (but wish you couldn't).

So now I'm looking forward to a nice family weekend. Isn't it a Pityriasis?

Grrrr...

2008-03-25T10:22:00.002-04:00

I've tried repeatedly to post a video from YouTube. Do you think I can do it? Do you see it anywhere here? Why am I the only one who can't post a video, a link to another blog, or anything else on the "sidebar?" Grrrr....

Oh.... the good news is that I rock at Guitar Hero. Ever heard of it? It's a video game where you play a guitar that has colored buttons on it in time with the music being played. My nephews and son were playing so I asked if I could give it a try. They said "sure" but gave each other looks as if to say, "this is gonna be funny." After nephew explained how to play, I gave it a shot. From the corner of my eye I could see one nephew grinning his biggest grin. At first I thought he was poking fun. Then the video announced, "YOU ROCK." And it was over. Smiling nephew said, "Auntie, are you sure you never played this before?" Me, "No, never." Nephew, "Well you did great! Better than Dave. Way better than my dad (my brother)." I, of course, took a bow. Then nephew said to son, "Now you can go back to school and tell your friends that your mom smoked ya at Guitar Hero." Son just laughed. That's me. Smokin'. One hot mama.

One hot mama who still can't post a video. Grrr.

The Naked Truth

2008-03-24T07:13:00.002-04:00

The truth is...

I used to look better naked. Now I don't mean that I looked better naked at 26 than I do at 46. Of course that is true. It goes without saying and seems true for almost everyone. I mean that I used to look better naked than I did clothed. Even in my younger years, I never really liked the way most clothes looked on me -- my arms seemed too long, my thighs too large -- clothes just didn't seem to hang right on my body. But naked (and as vain as this sounds), I thought I looked more than okay, and I never heard any complaints.

Time changes everything. I saw my whole naked body the other day. Of course I've caught glimpses of parts of myself over the past many years, but since having children I no longer wander around naked; therefore, I don't often see my entire body all at once. I had just taken a shower, opened the vanity drawer, and lo and behold, no towels. Not a single one. And I was standing there dripping wet. Having to choose between drip drying or going into the hall closet to search for a towel, I decided that a towel was the way to go. And on my way I passed a full-length mirror. Me, in only God's glory, in front of the mirror. Not a pretty sight. How long have I looked like that? And how could I not have noticed this sooner?

It's the kids. Blame it all on the kids. Since becoming mom, there's no more wandering around the house naked -- no chance to see my whole self. Yup, it's all their fault that I no longer look better naked. Sigh, sigh, sigh. I ate my way through the past few months. Think that might have anything to do with it? So, last night, having just eaten two bunny ears, I decided that it's time to shape up. It will be good for my health, good for my self-esteem, good for my life. I am officially beginning a healthy lifestyle routine.

Now can anyone tell me what's the difference between naked and nude?

Out All Night

2008-03-21T06:28:00.001-04:00

My pretty one after a hard night on the town. Reminds me of my "olden days."

Blah

2008-03-20T07:23:00.009-04:00

Blah sums up my feelings fairly accurately. I've got a bad case of the blahs/blues. Understandable? Yes. But that doesn't make it feel any better. I got a good scolding from one of my blogger friends who told me, in no uncertain terms, that I'd better get back on the ball. So here I am, trying my best.

For what it's worth:

Is the former governor of NY a complete idiot? What on earth was he thinking? Why didn't the guy use cash? But what I wonder most of all is why did he resign? Bill didn't. And, in my most humble (yet correct) opinion, if president Billy boy didn't resign after abusing a young White House INTERN, why should the governor resign? Billy's offense seems much more egregious.

My son is definitely attending the private school I mentioned long ago in a previous post. After much thought, that's what we've decided. Wouldn't you? Get this.... Son was in honors program last year (7th grade). Unfortunately, he got a 'D' in Spanish (his only non-honors course, since none of the children had studied a foreign language before). He was dropped from the honors program for 8th grade. About two months ago he came home with his course selection for high school which I had to sign off on. Where were the honors classes? "Mom, this is what my guidance counselor told me to put down." "What about math and science?" "Mom, this is what he said I should take." "That's bullshit." (Okay, I only said that in my head, but it's what I was thinking.) Just a day or two later, he received his acceptance letter from the private school congratulating him on being accepted into their "challenging Honors Program." They also told him that he was a "young man with a great deal of potential." THEY see it. The public school was going to let my bright, bright son fall through the cracks forever because he got a 'D' in Spanish in 7th grade? That was it for "honors" forever? Not for my son. It all goes back to the no child left behind thing. It's turned into the no child pushed ahead thing. Not for my son. So, we sent in the deposit, and he attends orientation in May. Oh.... last week he received a letter from their foreign language department strongly suggesting that he switch from Spanish to French when he attends their school. No, I do not feel elitist. I know how lucky my son is that we can afford to send him there. I feel fortunate that my son has the opportunity to achieve his full potential. It's sad that there are others out there like him that don't.

Yesterday was St. Joseph's Day. It's a big holiday in these parts. Our neighbor brought over a couple of zeppoles yesterday. Guess how many are left. Yummm.

Easter is just days away. Last night I filled all the eggs to be hidden for the hunt. We're having 14 people for dinner. And here I am, crying again, because Mil and Dad will both be missing for the first time. How I miss them. They'd both want us all to move on and be happy in our lives. I'm trying, I really am.

There's a message on my answering machine from my dad from the first day he was in the hospital. I can't bring myself to erase it. What's wrong with that?

One of my best friends and her husband have decided to divorce after 25 years. I just can't believe it. She's very bitter. I flat out asked her, "Is this really how you want things to end after all this time? You want to be enemies? I think you'll regret it later." Her, "I hate his f...ing guts."

Who made the back of the toilet tank the official tissue box place?

Will I ever feel creative again?

Happy Easter to all! Remember, somebunny loves you.

Friends

2008-03-06T14:02:00.004-05:00

Today's the best day I've had in a while. I'm finally starting to feel like myself again. I think a big part of it was talking to one of my dear friends. It's odd...sometimes you don't even notice how important a person has become to you until you realize that, in your own strange way, you need him. That's what has happened with me.

This morning I was cleaning up my email mess. There are so many of the stupid things I haven't even bothered to read or delete over the past five or six weeks, I had to do something. I ended up reading the email messages I had sent during the last few days of my dad's life and saw that they were all to the same person. I spent most of those days with my family at the hospital staying near Dad. But in the few private alone moments I had at home, I connected with this special friend, keeping him informed and pouring out all my sad, sad feelings. He responded in his usual kind, compassionate, and loving way. He kept me connected to life while I watched my dad's fade away. And I will be forever grateful.

So.... this afternoon I decided to go to the library. Once I'd arrived, thoughts of my friend just popped into my head, and I decided to call him right then and there from the parking lot. He seemed genuinely happy to hear from me, and I was certainly happy to hear a friendly upbeat voice. We talked for twenty minutes or so, just enough to revive this wilting woman, but hopefully not long enough to wear out my welcome. It was good. And the feeling lingers.

You never know where you might find a real friend. I'm thankful for those I have, and today I'm especially thankful for my newest real friend. Maybe someday he'll know how much his friendship means.

Tuesday Two

2008-03-04T13:44:00.004-05:00

On his way out the door this morning, son shouted his usual "Bye." Then, what seemed like an afterthought, "Barack and Roll, Mom.... Barack and Roll!" I yell to him to wait and then ask, "What does that mean?" "It's just something that the guys at school say. Young people want Barack to win. Our parents like rock and roll. So if we say 'Barack and Roll' maybe they'll vote for him." Hmmmm... son's been interested in politics for the past four or five years and discusses his opinions at length with me. He's not sure who I'll be voting for, and he knows that a slogan won't sway my decision. But good try, I think. At least he knows it is primary day in my state and that I will vote.

Later, as I walked to the polls, I thought about "Barack and Roll." Then it happened. One of those damned earworm moments that Winston talks about. In my head I hear (with my sincerest apologies to Bob Seeger): "Call me a relic, call me what you will. Say I'm old-fashioned, say I'm over the hill. Today's must ain't got the same soul. I like that old-time Barack and roll." Did it stop there? No, a couple more verses. Then (and again with my apologies to Rick Derringer): "Barack and roll , Hoochie Koo. Lawdy mama light my fuse. Barack and roll, Hoochie Koo. Truck on out and spread the news." Then, and fortunately last, (you know I have to apologize to Billy Joel, too): "Next phase, new wave, dance craze, anyways, it's still Barack & Roll to me."

Now, have any rock and roll/Barack and roll songs popped into your head just by reading this? And will you be cursing me the next time you hear someone sing about rock and roll and a presidential candidate pops into your head?

Hey, at least I voted.

P.S. (can you P.S. on a blog?) It looked like Hillary was the only candidate running at our polling place. No Barack supporters, no republicans at all. ??

2008-02-28T06:29:00.002-05:00

I've sat here, at this keyboard, every morning for the past week. But nothing comes from this brain of mine. I think it's all the details. For the past six weeks or so -- details, details and more details. There's little room left within my gray matter for anything else, certainly not anything creative. Oh yes, I've had some (I've thought) wonderful blogging ideas. Yesss....I definitely have something to say about that!....only to have "that" (whatever "that" might have been) fly from my brain to somewhere else, never to be retrieved again. Oh well. Today I'm going to buy myself a little notebook to carry along in my daily travels. The plan is to jot down these marvelous insights and to share them later. It's great in theory. Let's see if it works in reality.

1931 - 2008

2008-02-14T04:26:00.005-05:00

Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. I'm very sad to tell you that my dear old dad died on February 6. I try to console my mother, my children, my siblings, my nephews and my aunt by remembering what an honorable, faithful, dignified and joyful life my dad lived. He loved well and was well loved.

2 Timothy 4:7

I have fought the good fight. I have finished the race.

I have kept the faith.

As for me, I've been surprised that my faith throughout the past few weeks has not waivered but has become stronger.

I will be back again soon.

Say a Little Prayer

2008-02-05T09:31:00.001-05:00

My dear old Dad.

We can use all the help we can get.

I Predict

2008-02-03T05:04:00.000-05:00

31-21

Have a Super Sunday!