Happy Beginnings

2006-12-31T18:33:00.000-05:00

The End Of Another Year In Our Journey - 2006

This has certainly been the roughest year since we started in 2004. We have gone from waiting to adopt to adoption cancelled, back to waiting to meet a referral, back to adoption cancelled, to time to start again! So, here we are, looking ahead at 2007 and thinking is this the road that is going to lead us to our daughter?

We have had some great events to celebrate in 2006. All of our friends at AIA have brought their children home and we are thrilled for all of you. May you have many years of happiness with your precious children! I was promoted this year at work. SoFlaKid graduated from 6th grade and learned to play the bassoon. (HINT: this is not a instrument for the faint at heart. If your child ever selects the bassoon, buy ear plugs - a necessity for the 1st year student's parents) SoFlaDad got anew job only 10 minutes from the house.

SoFlaGpa will certainly be missed. He was such a big part of this journey, supportive in every way. He will be in our hearts as we continue our journey in 2007.

So, now that everything has expired (police clearance, I-171, Home Study, etc.) we need to go back to beginning. How appropriate is that? Happy Beginnings! We have nothing but time so here we go again. We start off the new year with an approval from an agency and love in our hearts.

Happy New Year Blogland!

SoFlaMom

2006-12-25T15:15:00.000-05:00

In Loving Memory...
SoFlaGpa
1942 - 2006

2006-11-26T14:56:00.000-05:00

THE LONGEST MONTH

Yes, I have dropped off the face of the earth. On Nov. 6th, my last post, everything was going fine. On Nov. 7th, the world kind of stopped for me. My father was admitted to the hospital for a massive heart attack. He survived thankfully, but barely. Since 11/7, he has gone through 1 bi-pass surgery, 2 stents, 3 balloon pumps, and many more procedures that it's all a blur. Right now, I type this from Gainesville, FL which is about a 6 hour drive from SoFla. The hospital in Gainesville has an excellent heart transplant unit. The Dr.'s want to try one more procedure (open heart surgery) before he becomes a heart transplant candidate. He are hoping and praying that this procedure will be the one that works. I never imagined that I would ever be in this position at this stage in my life. However, here I am, day by day, being the rock to see my father through this.

I got to see SoFlaDad and SoFlaKid over the weekend and it made me miss them more. SoFlaKid wants me to come home and I am hoping a family member will relieve me this week. He is really missing his mother. SoFlaDad is such a trooper, taking on the role of mom, dad, maid, cook, chauffeur, and dog walker.

During all this, we received a message from our agency that we were approved and can proceed with our adoption. Once all this madness calms down, we will work on the contract and continue the paperchase. I was hoping to get going on this and complete all the paperwork by the end of the year, but 2007 is looking a bit better right now. I am ready for a new year with a new start.

Keep my dad in your prayers.
SoFlaMom

2006-11-06T21:40:00.000-05:00

Great Proverb - Red Thread

Really catches the essence of our journey.

An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but will never break.- Chinese proverb

2006-11-05T12:30:00.000-05:00

So What's happening in SoFla?

We have been keeping busy with work, school, and life. As many of you know, we had roof damage during hurricane Wilma. Well, it only took 1 year to get the roofers out here. We now have a nice black tar roof with no roof tiles! With so many houses damaged, there is a short supply of roof tiles. The good news is we is we don't need to worry anymore about roof tiles being blown away during a storm but the bad news is we don't know when the new tiles will be delivered. So, as our house sticks out like a sore thumb, we wait patiently. And we have lots of experience in waiting patiently!

We submitted our application to our agency last month but have not been approved yet. Not that we are not approved, but rather, the references from our friends have not be submitted/received. Not to blame them at all, but the China references required are much different than the requirements for Russia. Our friends, like us, are are 2 parent working families with precious spare time. The questionnaire that the agency needs completed is quite extensive and takes some time to complete. So, like waiting for our roof tiles, we patiently await for our friends to find the time to complete the required paperwork. The good news is 1 out of 3 are completed; that puts us 1/3 of the way to approval. (glass is half full attitude is the only way to live through an adoption!)

Great News to C&D who have a court date very soon. Suzanne/Jaime and Lisa/Derek are settling into parenthood nicely.

As soon as we have approval from our agency, we will let you know. Thanks for all the encouraging comments. Keep them coming!

SoFlaMom

2006-10-15T13:17:00.000-04:00

The Next Phase....

You might think that we have dropped off the face of the earth, and in a way we did. Between birthdays, holidays, soccer games, work, and school, we kind of put adoption on the back burner for the last month. The good news is we made a decision!

We are changing course and navigating to a new country, China! Funny thing is when we were in Russia, we were on the China border so we can say that we have "seen" China but have not stepped onto China soil LOL! We decided that the Eastern European countries are too risky right now and based on our adoption history, we are not willing to have our hearts broken again. China is a bit more stable however, we know there are no guarantees. This is just the less risky path for us.

We applied to a well known agency this week and are awaiting word of approval. Once approved, we will get our SW to list China in our HS and we are back in the game. Our I-171 has expired so we need to complete another I-600A. However, we have been down this path before and know our way around so this should go quickly. But for those of us in this journey, we all know what "quickly" means.

SoFlaMom

2006-09-15T10:20:00.000-04:00

Here's the Deal....

Interesting as lawyers are, I felt like I was on "Let's Make a Deal" (Am I dating myself??). The countries that the agency would like to do business in are not exactly the countries we would like to adopt from. Ukraine is too unstable, Kazakhstan is too long (2 trips, 1 for 5 weeks!), and the "A" country next to Iran and Turkey. Based on the uncertainty in the Middle East and our ethnic background, I don't feel safe over there.

So, my curiosity is satisfied we decided we don't want to go to any of these countries unless the fees were reduced to $0.00 (which they are not). So back to the drawing board. SoFlaDad and I are pretty sure which way we would like to go but we will save that for another time when we actually send the check. Interestingly, the CCAU, read posts in July, are interested in adopting a child. I guess SoFlaKid had a great impact on them. So, maybe, with 2 families adopting, we can get a family discount???

SoFlaMom

2006-09-08T12:54:00.000-04:00

Interesting Phone Call

Since we are back into the investigating stage, we thought we knew what direction we were heading until after we met with our SW. The agency that the SW works for only performs domestic adoptions. We liked the fact that there is no conflict of interest and that the SW has performed many homestudies for various countries, including domestic. Each time we meet her, she always asks if we would consider a domestic adoption. Domestic is not our first choice, however, if an unusual situation occurred, we would consider it.

Here is where the fun begins. The owner of the agency called us and asked us to meet him in their office this week. SoFlaDad and I are pretty busy over the next few days so we proposed a conference call. The owner said it would be worth our while to make the trip to their office. So you know what I am thinking....There is a birth mother somewhere looking for parents. But no, that is not it at all. The agency is looking to start an international adoption program and is looking for parents to "test the waters". We are far from experts in international adoption, but we are pretty educated on the pros and cons overall. This triggered a red flag big time. But, it is also pulling at my curiosity.

We decided we have nothing to loose at this point except time, so we are going to meet with the owners next week to see what they have to say. I don't know if anything will come out of this but at least my curiosity will be satisfied. The countries they are targeting are Kazakhstan, Ukraine, and one of the "stan" countries (I forgot what he said). If you are familiar with these countries, I am interested in your experiences, hearsay, sources, etc. Like they say, a little bit of knowledge is dangerous!

SoFlaMom

2006-09-04T11:54:00.000-04:00

Labor Day!

It's Labor Day, a time to think of all things I have labored through. I labored through school, marriage, work, birth, parenthood, and finally adoption. Of all the laboring I have been through, some through passion, some through necessity, the most endearing is the labor of adoption. Most of the world does not understand the frustration, emotions, and turmoil of adoption. They just think oh, sign a few papers and viola', a child. However, those of us who have been through the perils if infertility, joys of meeting a child, loosing the child, getting back on your feet to start all over again are a small community of pre-adoptive and adoptive families. The Labor of Love that we have endured to get our children can never be understood unless you live through the pain and happiness.

Wishing all my friends who just finished court (you know who you are) and very happy journey. May the labor of parenthood bring you the greatest joys in life as it has done to mine! I am looking forward to seeing family pictures as the years go on. And as I always say, "Lets meet in Disney World!"

SoFlaMom

2006-08-30T10:29:00.000-04:00

BlogLand

So, here we are, waiting for the storm to pass, with nothing to do...hmm how to keep busy. I got it! I will add the blog roll to Happy Beginnings. I played around and I think I have it correct. If I am missing your blog, please let me know and I will add to the list.

We expect the storm to pass this afternoon and school to reopen tomorrow. Back to work for me! SoFlaDad had to work through the storm. His company did not close at all. He came home yesterday around 5:00 and went back this early this AM. The only good news he received is he was allowed to wear jeans to work...yeah like that's a big incentive to drive through a tropical storm!

SoFlaMom

2006-08-29T12:37:00.000-04:00

Ernesto the Pest

Yes, with the impending storm, all government agencies are closed, including schools. This will set us back for getting a fingerprint appointment but allows me to work from home and spend time with SoFLaKid. SoFlaKid is upset because there is no one to play with today. Yeah, that's because all the kids are helping their parents prepare for the storm. I offered a delicious Mikkie Dee's meal and get this, he said no! What kid refuses McDonald's??? I think the teenage years are starting early!

Ernesto is now a tropical storm so we don't have to put up the hurricane shutters but we do have to move all the patio furniture in the garage. This suits us just fine because we ordered accordion shutters a few months ago and they were supposed to be here this week! The fact that Ernesto was downgraded works for us. Hopefully the accordian shutters will be here before the next storm!

SoFlaMom

2006-08-27T18:07:00.000-04:00

Another Milestone Met....

It seems like deja vue (sp?). We got our criminal background checks completed again. No need to worry, we still have an impeccable record. Just seems like we've "been there, done that". The good part is SoFlaGpa was able to help us out. He waited on the line at the Ft. Lauderdale police department for us. There were so many options for him to choose from that he had to call to verify, "Do you want the $2 copy or the $5 copy?" Of course we needed the more expensive one because it comes notarized and ready to be apostilled. Luckily, our SW only needs a copy of the original.

The other piece of good news from our SW is that we do not need to have another physical exam. All of the other exams we had over the last year are still valid which means 1 less piece to the puzzle. Once we send the documents to the SW, we can start fingerprinting and the I-171. For those on this journey with us, when you complete the I-600a and are approved, you receive a I-171. This piece of paper must be given to the embassy in country in order to bring our child home to the states. Fingerprints are good for a total of 12 months while the I-171 is good for 18 months. There is a push to get our legislatures to extend the expiration another 6 months which will make the I-171 good for 2 years. If this gets passed before October, we won't have to do a thing. I am not taking a chance. We are going to start working on the renewal next week by updating our fingerprints now.

Looks like we are in the cone for the next hurricane, Ernesto. It is still a few days away so it could miss us. We are keeping a close eye on this one.

SoFlaMom

2006-08-24T20:29:00.000-04:00

Work, Work, Work....

Have you ever had a time in your life that you were so stressed out at work that you could not eat, sleep, think, etc. That has been me over the last few weeks. I am so overworked that it is consuming my life! SoFlaKid is thinking Mommy who? I need to take control of my life and start to live again! Rejuvenate and return to blogland!

So what have we done over the last few weeks. We celebrated all the court hearings and upcoming court hearing with our PAP friends. We are so happy for all of you and can't wait until yourlittle ones are home safely in the states. Some of our PAP friends have run into unexpected obstacles that have turned into something terrific. Next year this time I hope we are all able to travel and finally meet face to face - sounds like a Disney trip coming soon!

Today our SW came to update our homestudy. We talked about the various options and agreed that we are on the right path. For those new to the process, your homestudy expires in 1 year. At that time, the homestudy needs to be updated. Ours expired a few months ago but we just dragged our feet getting it updated. The next step is to redo the fingerprints and update the I-171 (expires in Oct.). Fingerprints are hard for me. Not that the process is hard but the darn computer that scans your fingers can never get a good print of my hand. After a few tries, I wind up traveling to Miami to get sworn in and sign a affidavit that I am not a criminal. So, I expect a road trip coming up real soon!

To end this post, I thought I would add some humor! Take a look at the picture closely.
SoFlaMom

2006-08-10T13:59:00.000-04:00

Another Link to Share....

As we ponder what our child will look like, her personality, etc., I wanted to share this awesome web site. When you enter, it takes a few seconds to load, however it is worth the wait. This interactive site allows you to visually see the effects of FAS (fetal alcohol syndrome). Let me know if this was helpful to you.

SoFlaMom

http://www.fhs.mcmaster.ca/pblonline/fas.htm

2006-08-07T12:08:00.000-04:00

Back From Vacation....

Denver was great and the CCAU spoiled SoFlaKid rotten. He was invited back this winter for some snowboarding provided we see some A's and B's on the next report card. To honor our returning students to school, I thought I would post a fun Geography Quiz. See if you can Place the State

http://www.sheppardsoftware.com/states_experiment_drag-drop_Intermed_State15s_500.html

SoFlaMom

2006-07-31T22:07:00.000-04:00

A Picture of Firsts...

Yes, we are still on vacation, and wouldn't you know it, we forgot our camera everywhere we went. This was the first time the family went to Steamboat Springs, the first time we saw SoFlaKid play baseball, the first time we bathed in hot springs....all without any pictures!

This got me thinking about all the firsts we encountered on our adoption journey without pictures. There are so many pictures of firsts that I wish I had. If I were to do this again, and yes we will, we are going to have a camera for the following firsts:

The day we received the I-171A
The day we mailed our dossier to the agency
The day the agency receive the final dossier
The day the referral email came
The first time seeing a picture of our referral - not applicable to traveling blind
Getting the A-OK from the IA Doctor
The entrance to the orphanage
Meeting your child - ask facilitator/translator to help. (we have lots of pictures of the child but not of us!)
The first time the child smiles, laughs, frowns, cries as you hold your child in your arms
The city you child is in - make sure you visit as many places as possible. You will need these as the child grows up
The day you leave to go home
The day you get your court date (Elle, Suzanne, Cathy - I am holding my breathe for today!)
The day you leave to pick up your child
The day you hold your child for the second time
The court hearing - before and after
The gotcha day

If I missed any, let me know. Next time, we will be prepared! I am going to start looking for one of those pocket digital cameras to keep in my purse. The smaller the better.

SoFlaMom

2006-07-25T10:42:00.000-04:00

Some More Sites....

As promised, I have some more links to share. I work on 3 different computers and have links stored everywhere. This computer (that I am working in now) has the most saved links but I am pressed for time so I will only post a few.

We are leaving for vacation tomorrow to pick up SoFlaKid from Denver. If you have any advice on places tourists should go in Denver, let me know!

SoFlaMom

http://www.radzebra.org/

http://www.bgcenter.com/UnchartedWaters.htm

http://www.adoptionarticlesdirectory.com/

2006-07-23T17:50:00.000-04:00

How to tell....

One of our worst fears is being matched with a child that is learning challenged. We have done lots of research about institutionalized children and how behind they are developmentally. This does not scare us as much as other challenges such as FAS, RAD, Autism, etc. There are a host of challenges that "could" happen. We are prepared to take on these challenges head on. But, at the same token, we would like to reduce the risk. Raising a child that learns differently takes lots of patience, time, motivation, and many other emotions I did not know I had. Having 2 children that learn differently would tax all of my newly acquired skills. Could we do it, sure we can! I think we are doing a fine job with SoFlaKid. Can we do it again? What can we do better? Are we at a stage in our lives that we can do it better? All of these questions are going through my head as we make our way through this journey.

There are many web sites to help PAP's identify potential issues. I will start to list some of these sites this week. I am sure they can help others trying to decide if they should accept their referral(s) or not

I got some pictures today of SoFlaKid with CCAU (see below for definition). Looks like they are having a great time! Nothing like flying a kite on a summer day.

SoFlaMom

http://www.aafp.org/afp/20050715/279.html

http://www.tufts-nemc.org/adoption/

http://www.nacac.org/howtoadopt.html

2006-07-21T11:34:00.000-04:00

Moscow...the mystery city

Many PAP's first fly to Moscow before meeting their children. We, however, flew through Seoul, Korea on our way to Russia. We were able to see the beautiful Incheon Airport and Airport Hotel. http://www.incheon-hotel.com/eng/index.html The beds were a bit small and hard (extra firm mattress), but clean and quiet. Our experience was very pleasant. Moscow, which we thought we would see, remains that mysterious Eastern European city. We have read all about Moscow. Where to shop, where to stay, what to eat, how to get around. I feel like a tour guide to a city I have never visited. For the many PAP's doing their research, here are some sites that I have used:

http://www.metropol-moscow.ru/english/numbers.shtml

http://ukraina.all-hotels.ru/index.en.html?kk=fa6a67c358&nav=1

http://www.moscow-taxi.com/

http://www.go-magazine.ru/articles/show/748

What can I buy in Moscow? Or better, what can I buy in Russia? We wanted to get treasures for our child to learn their heritage. There are all kinds of items to get; nesting dolls, jewelry, ceramic eggs, etc. To preview some of the items to bring home, this web site is awesome!

http://www.russia4.com/

If you live in the Chicagoland area, take a look. I understand it is cheaper to purchase items in your child's region than in Moscow...the mysterious city. But without actually traveling there, I can not confirm. Let me know what you think.

SoFlaMom

2006-07-18T16:09:00.000-04:00

Money, Money, Money....

How to fund an adoption? I have heard this over and over. Yes, we have the same thoughts as we are a 2 parent working family and need to stay this way. Once you make the decision to adopt internationally, money is just another part of the equation. Many people hold fund raisers, sell stuff on eBay, Avon, Pampered Chef, you name it! More conventionally, I have read that people take out loans. That is our category. Its hard to start making payments for a child that is not home yet, but here we are. The way I look at it, you can spend all your time saving up for retirement only to have the nursing homes take all your money, or you can spend your money on your children. Hmmm let’s see here:
Money = Nursing Home
Money = Children

I'll go the children route. So, who cares if I will be paying off loans for the rest of my life. This is what living is for! Loans for travel, apostilles, donations, agencies are only the beginning. Just wait until the child gets home. Then we have the pleasure of OT, therapists, private schools, PTA's, field trips, Optometrists, Pediatricians; the list is endless! Oh, and don't forget college! The upfront money is such a small price to pay in comparison to the love of a child - priceless. Therefore, we are just going for broke and living life as is should be...penniless

If you are struggling, like the rest of us, take a look at the links below. Some may help. Some may not. But once you get your child in your arms, it is all forgotten (so I am told).

http://www.angelfire.com/journal/adoptionhelp/adopthelp.html

http://www.davethomasfoundationforadoption.org/html/grants/index.asp

2006-07-17T12:48:00.000-04:00

What Happened to SoFlaMom?

What a week and boy am I glad it is over. Being a working mom is hard enough but parenting 2,000 miles away is quite a challenge. SoFlaKid was not enjoying his camp experience this year. So luckily the Courageous Colorado Aunt & Uncle (CCAU) saved SoFlaKid by picking him up and bringing him home. He has been happy ever since then. CCAU have taken SoFlaKid hiking and mountain biking to cheer him up. Now that SoFlaKid is feeling better, CCAU has had the pleasure of seeing first hand what it is like to be parents. And they are doing just fine.

For those of you becoming first time parents, you will be happy to know that if CCAU can do it, so can you. CCAU have the option of sending SoFlaKid home but have opted to give the parenting thing a try. CCAU have been experiencing waking up a preteen in the AM, ensuring that a preteen goes to bed on time, looking out for internet safety (yes SoFlaKid is pretty savvy on the internet) and personal hygiene is met (pick your battles). In my humble opinion, I think that CCAU are doing a wonderful job becoming 1st time caregivers to a preteen.

Now that we are back into BAU, I will be able to post more on the blog. Thanks for hanging in there waiting for the next post!

SoFlaMom

2006-07-10T10:52:00.000-04:00

What’s in a Name?

What to name a child. There are so many theories on this topic. Not being adopted, I can only speculate which one is correct. Should you keep the child’s given name? Was the birth name given by the birth mother? Will the child want to hold on to their heritage? Should you use the given name as a pet name (nickname)? Use the given name as a middle name? So many unanswered questions!!!

We had theories before we met our referrals. Then we took all the theories and through them out the window. When we met the children, we knew what we wanted their names to be. Or not. Our first referral was not accepted. Had we accepted her, we knew she needed to keep her given name. It was a feeling we got when we met her. Our second referral, we knew we wanted to change his name. We liked his given name but felt like it needed to be Americanized. So, when it comes time to name your child, go with your gut. You will know the right name to give your child.

After you pick out a name and bring your child home, I found theses sites to announce the arrival your child. I am waiting for the day that I can use one of these companies. For those of you who are waiting for a court date, take a look. Some of these sites are really neat!

SoFlaMom

http://www.2peas1pod.com/gallery/index.htm

http://www.picturemeperfect.com/products.asp?tb=aa

http://www.storkgrams.com/ANN_adoption.asp

2006-07-07T12:37:00.000-04:00

Learn Some Russian

While we are floundering with what to do next, I thought I would share some websites that we have used on our journey. Learning a bit of Russian certainly helps when you travel. We bought a quick reference Russian/English book but when you really needed a word fast, it was useless. Learning the basics like Thank you, Bathroom, One, Two, Three, are necessities. And learn the word for half.

Example

We ventured out to the market to get some food. The market is similar to a Farmer's Market. Lots of vendors selling various items from Dairy to Meat. We wanted to purchase some cheese. Simple here in the states; cheese is prepackaged, sliced, with expiration date. Not so in the Far Eastern part of Russia. First we had to decide which cheese we wanted as all the signs are in Russian. We looked foolish trying to decide, "is it swiss, havarti, provolone?" Based on the color and shape of the huge chunk of cheese, we pointed. For those who have not traveled yet, throw out everything you learned as a child...pointing is a great way to communicate! The clerk took out the cheese and asked us a question (like we really understood???) We looked at her like a deer in headlights so she took out a knife and placed it on the cheese. She looked at us and said Da? Finally, as word we understood! We said "Nyet" proudly (a Russian word that is a necessity). Finally we were communicating in Russian (OK, only 2 words but hey, we were on a roll!). She moved the knife again and said Da? Nyet, too big. We went through this routine a few times before we got the size we wanted. Had we learned the Russian word half or quarter, we would have been out of there much sooner!

Oh, and by the way, Spanish does you no good either in Russia. Instead of Da, I kept saying Si. SoFlaDad would elbow me and say we are not in Latin America!

My point is using the below web sites will help you navigate your way through Russia. Learn the basics before you travel and point for the rest.

http://www.learningrussian.com/free.htm

http://www.livelaughlovelearn.com/gloss/

http://www.alphadictionary.com/rusgrammar/index.html

http://www.seanet.com/~ejones/Russian_words.pdf

2006-07-06T11:13:00.000-04:00

SoFlaKid - Off To A Great Summer!

Well, we are what you call temporary empty nesters. SoFlaKid left yesterday for sleep away camp. We get 3 weeks of marital bliss! Well not really. SoFlaG'pa returns home on Monday. He is staying with us temporarily and graciously volunteered to take SoFlaKid to camp this year. The camp is located in the Rocky Mountains near Vail, Co. Kids from all over the world attend this camp. Last year there was a child from China and another one from England. If you are interested in some of the most beautiful vistas, take a look at their web site:

http://www.learningcamp.com/

Every year SoFlaKid comes home a new person, rejuvenated, and ready to tackle the mighty high adventure of Middle School. The owners of the camp, Ann and Tom are 2 of the most special people on this planet. They have dedicated their lives to help children become the best that they can be. And SoFlaKid is living proof that their perseverance pays off! We should receive some pictures from them soon that I will share over the next few weeks.

2006-07-05T11:43:00.000-04:00

Another Roadblock....

Yes, it is official. The children will not be traveling at all this summer. There is a slight chance that they will be able to travel over Christmas/New Years, but it is a slight chance. Foiled again. I read that another hosting program was also cancelled this summer. Its so sad for the kids. Sad for the hosters too.

I think we need another strategy. We are feeling much better after our weekend away. Revived and ready for battle. Do we want to continue to try to adopt from Russia or should we try alternatives like China, Guatemala, US? Once we decide, we will go full force to get our child home. She is out there looking for us and we need to find her.

SoFlaMom