Blackrageous

In the Naaame of Jeeezusaaah!

2009-07-10T10:19:00.000-07:00

As of next week, Las Vegas will be the gathering place for some of the most right-wing religious zealots I've ever heard of. The anti-abortion folks from a national christian organization are coming to my town in full force. Coming to save babies from "genocide", save womens' souls from "damnation", and save "abortionists" from themselves.

In the words of whoever your favorite pastor is: "In the naaame of Jeeezusaaah!"

Look ya'll. I'm all about the babies. Not really, but I'm all about the sanctity of life. And the longer I study and practice my buddhist faith, the more I believe that aborting an unborn child is probably one of the worst things one can do for their karma.

However, I'm also all about self-determination, the ability and freedom of every individual to make their own choices and, thus, reap what they sow. One of the most beautiful things that we possess as human beings is the ability to reason, and one of the most wonderful things about being in America is having the freedom to make our own decisions. And as long as a woman is the one to carry a baby for 9 months, that woman should have the freedom to make a decision about whether or not she wants to do that shit.

Why anyone would want to take that choice away, even in the name of their god, is beyond me.

I'm not a proponent of censoring free speech. So I look forward to watching and listening to what these folks have to say. But ya'll best believe that those of us on the other side who value both life AND freedom will be heard as well.

4real tho.

Excuses, Excuses

2009-07-08T10:30:00.000-07:00

Have you ever come across a person, friend, family member, or co-worker, who is a professional excuse maker? You know, that person who is always making excuses for their actions and never takes responsibility for anything that happens to them?

My sister is one such person. This post isn't only about her, but it's about her and all the other excuse-ologists I've come across during my life. Seriously, I just want all of them to shut the fuck up.

A few examples from off the top of my head:

The person who is always late for everything. This fool would be late for his own funeral if that were possible. And the reason is NEVER that he simply left the house too late, it's always "traffic" or "car issues" or "the accident on the I-5". What the fuck ever.

The person who is always broke as hell. Never mind the fresh hairstyle or the perfectly manicured nails and toes. Nevermind the new outfits or the concerts she's always going to. It's never that her ass is simply irresponsible with her money. It's always that "I'm overworked and underpaid" or "the boss just needs to give me a raise".

The person who can't understand why nobody wants to be around him. It's never because he's simply an asshole who has no people skills. It's never because he's a drain on the positive energy of others. It's always because "people just don't understand me".

Ya'll get the point. Don't get me wrong, Tha L understands that everybody has their boo hoo moments. But at some point folks need to understand that most things in life happen exactly the way that we make them happen. So, to all the blogpeeps, be sure that the next time you come across one of these sorry ass, irritating, professional excuse-ologists, give 'em a smack for me. After you smack 'em down yourself.

It will be much appreciated.

This is How We Do...

2009-07-07T14:48:00.000-07:00

Happy Tuesday ya'll! Hope all the blogpeeps had a relaxing 4th of July weekend. I know I did. Even though I spent it in the woods surrounded by fire ants, mosquitoes, and cow shit, it was a wonderful weekend indeed. Check it.

The night we arrived, we had to pitch our tents in the pitch dark. But first, we had to shovel cow patties (can somebody tell me why cow SHIT is called cow patties, anyway?!) out of the way to make space for our tents. Yuck. So the next morning, me and my sister went hunting for the culprits. Here's a few of them...bastards are lucky I don't eat meat.

Tha L, posing like I usually am, for a self-snapped pic.

Somebody asked me if I got my hat from the set of The Color Purple.

Whatever!

Me & my step-pop, chillin' on the boat.

My sister & her man Ian. They're so cute together.

My man showing off on the damn sea-doo.

Seriously, showing off. He kept driving by & posing so I could take his picture.

Guess I'm not the only one that's vain.

Chillin' back at the campsite after a long day in the sun.

This is Tha L "all naturale", not a stitch of makeup for four days!

Heading out to watch the fireworks on the lake.

Yeah, if ya'll couldn't tell, I was pretty drunk in this pic LOL!

S'mores & Wilderness Booty

2009-07-01T09:19:00.000-07:00

Happy Wednesday ya'll. Tha L is officially OVER all the "journalistic" bullshit surrounding the death of MJ. Don't get me wrong, I've been a huge fan for a long time, but at some point enough is enough. I say just let the man rest in peace. Shit.

Anywhoo, as of tomorrow, me & my man are heading out for a weekend camping & fishing trip with family & friends up in northern California. And yes, I'm talkin' bout that REAL camping...tents, no fresh running water, dig a hole to take a piss, THAT kinda camping. Lawd knows Tha L will miss her shower, but we'll be at a lake so it won't be impossible to stay at least halfway clean & fresh.

It's gunna be a blast. Fishing at 6am, hopping from boat to boat, partying with the family, barbeque'n, and of course, gettin' my grown folk on out in the middle of nowhere (he called it "wilderness booty" LMMFAO!). Loves it! Oh, and being able to see the stars at night. That always amazes me.

My sister said we'll make s'mores and sing campfire songs. I can't guarantee that, ya'll, because I plan to be drunk all weekend.

Hope all the blogpeeps have a safe and fun July 4th!!

Yeah, Bitch, I'm From Zimbabwe.

2009-06-30T13:28:00.000-07:00

Whatup ya'll?!

It is officially hotter than hell in Vegas. So yesterday, while out in the back yard watering the garden, I threw my heavy, hot ass locks into a bun on top of my head...you know, just to keep that shit off my neck, right? Right.

After I'm done, I go inside to fix my dinner and realize I'm out of lemons. Can't have shrimp scampi without fresh lemon juice, right? Right. So I throw on the flip flops and run out the door to the market up at the corner.

Go inside, grab two lemons and run up to the check out counter. The lady in front of me sees that I only have two lemons and lets me go in front of her.

"Oh, thanks, ma'am, I really appreciate that", I say, flashing her my winning smile.

"No problem young lady, what you going to do with those lemons?"

OK, check out line small-talk. I can do that. "Makin' shrimp scampi for dinner", I reply.

"Sounds wonderful! By the way, I love your hairstyle."

"Huh?", I say, knowing that she MUST be blind because all I did was literally throw my shit on top of my head and wrap a bandana around it to hold it up off my damn neck...that's not a style, that's a sloppy ass bun.

"Your hairstyle", she repeats, "Is that some sort of African thing?"

I give her the biggest and most obvious smirk you could ever imagine, "Umm...no...this is the style that says I was doing yardwork and wanted my hair out of the way. What do you call it when you wear YOUR hair in a bun on top of your head?"

Obviously embarassed and turning beet red, "Yeah, just a bun, I guess."

"Exactly. Now, thanks again for letting me go ahead of you. Have a great evening!"

"You're welcome, enjoy that shrimp scampi!"

I swear. I should've told her ass I'm from Zimbabwe and started doing some sort of "tribal" dance right there in the store. But, recognizing this sort of ignorance when I see it, she would've probably enjoyed it and thrown me a dollar or asked if I had any children that she could adopt. I'm just sayin'. People can be so stupid sometimes.

Check Out Little L

2009-06-24T11:30:00.001-07:00

Peace ya'll!

This Saturday, I'm hosting a big party for my granny in celebration of her 80th birthday. It's gunna be awesome. So I've been going thru family photo albums to gather and scan pictures that tell the story of granny's life. What a wonderful blessing to be alive to see your children's children have children. Amazing.

Anywhoo, found this pic of Little L in my favorite peanut butter & jelly shirt. I think I was around 4. Man, I sure did love that shirt!

Umm...You Forgot Your Toothbrush...

2009-06-22T08:39:00.000-07:00

When is it ok, or even expected, that people start leaving toothbrushes, changes of clothes, deodorant, etc. at the home of the person they're dating?

Just wondering.

I've been dating my man for almost two years. I remember the first few times he asked me to spend the night, I declined because I didn't feel comfortable enough in his home and preferred to sleep in my own damn bed. Once we jumped that hurdle, I remember when he cleared a drawer out for me in his dresser and said "this is yours...feel free to leave anything in there you'd like".

That drawer remains empty. And as for the bathroom that he "gave" me, besides his towels I leave there after a shower, there's no toothbrushes, deodorant, hair products, or any other such stuff belonging to Tha L....because I take my shit home with me.

But him, on the other hand...well, he's all too comfortable making himself at home in my home. I walk into my spare bathroom and his toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant, and hair brush are all on the counter like they live there. Open my closet and there's a sweatshirt, t-shirt, and a pair of shorts.

Muthafucka once had the nerve to question why I had put his shit in the medicine cabinet instead of leaving it on the counter. WTF?

One of my homegirls once said "Girl, he's just marking his territory. You should leave some stuff at his house to mark yours!" Seriously? I don't have time for those games.

Maybe I'm trippin. But I'm just sayin', I love him and all that, but we DON'T live together. He's got his house and I've got mine. He pays his bills and I pay mine. I have no problem spending nights together, but unless and until we have a conversation about taking this to the "living together" stage (lawd help me, because I really can't see THAT), I feel like he should take his shit home.

But how do I tell him without seeming like a complete and total ass? Any advice ya'll??

The Epitome...

2009-06-15T08:44:00.000-07:00

...of relaxed.

Whatup ya'll?! Today's the final day of my vacation time, and I'm here to tell ya, it's been great. Got to spend a few days in L.A. with my folks, chill on the beach, and help my step-momma plant her first vegetable garden (the soil in Cali is so damn perfect I could vomit!).

Also spent some quality time with my man catching up on all that was missed for the past four months when he was gone. Folk, K.S., shut the fuck up. LMMFAO!!!

Overall, it's been real nice. I'm actually looking forward to takin' my ass back to the office tomorrow. Imagine that. Seriously, I'm just so thankful to have an office to take my ass back to!

Peace ya'll. Happy Monday!

Rest & Relaxation

2009-06-05T09:25:00.000-07:00

Yes! As of the end of business today, Tha L is on a much needed break from work for ten days.

Now, I don't know exactly who coined the term "stay-cation", but about half of my time off will be just that...no fancy schmancy trips to the Bahamas or Jamaica or Mazatlan, just some much needed rest and relaxation at the crib.

And that, my people, is a beautiful thing.

The other half will be a road trip down to L.A. to do some restin' & relaxin' in the sun at the beach for a few days. The body's lookin' mighty tight these days, so I think I need to treat myself to a new bikini and retire the old one that I've had for ages. Too bad my man can't go with me. Well, maybe it's not too bad. Hell, L-boog knows how to have fun by her damn self! Especially in L.A.!!

That's what the hell I'm talkin' bout. Happy Friday ya'll!

I Made It!

2009-06-03T08:44:00.000-07:00

Peace ya'll. Remember awhile back when Tha L was whining about my man leaving for four months to do his politician thang? I thought I'd never make it, that I'd spontaneously combust from the lack of attention and affection. Well, I made it, and honestly, it wasn't as bad as I'd thought.

Well, at first it was. But just as we humans can adjust to anything, Tha L adjusted to that. It was tough with him being gone when my house got robbed. And it was irritating to have him gone when the fucking vultures started coming around. Sure, some days were rougher than others, and some nights I wanted nothing more than to roll over and see him there. But we adjust.

And now that he's back, the cool thing about it is that our relationship is even stronger now than it was when he left. Funny how shit makes you grow.

Hope the blogpeeps are smiling. I know I am.

Who Knew?

2009-06-01T09:33:00.000-07:00

Who knew that rich folks pump their own gas? Seriously!

I know that's a stupid question, and I'm sure that rich folks all over the world have, at one point or another, been forced to stoop down at the pump and fill their own tanks.

But the couple I saw at the gas station over the weekend really caught my attention...

It was a beautiful Saturday in Vegas. I just got paid so I'm feelin' mighty fine. Just left the car wash so the Infiniti is all shiny n shit. Look at the gas guage and realize a sista needs to fill up.

Pull into the station and to my left is a huge, and I mean huge, vehicle. At first I thought it was a tricked out 300, but upon further inspection, I see that it's a beautiful Rolls.Royce.

Beautiful. And did I say huge?

Anyway, I glance in the window (wit my nosey ass LOL) as I'm walking back from the cashier, and there's a very rich-looking old woman. Hair perfectly coiffed, probably in the same style she's been wearing for the past 50 years. Jewels sparkling. Sunglasses obviously more expensive than my entire wardrobe.

Then I see her husband fooling around with the gas pump. Seriously acting like he hasn't done this gas thing ever in his rich ass life. He's heavily jeweled as well, and I swear the ring he had on had to have at least five pounds of diamonds in it.

He goes on fumbling, fumbling, fumbling with the pump, until finally it looks like he got it figured out.

I swear ya'll, in all my 35 years on this earth, I have never seen anyone fumble to fill up the gas tank the way that man did. Even my damn near 80 year old granny can do it better than that!

I guess his servant was sick that day or something...

When All Else Fails, Attack!!!!

2009-05-29T10:24:00.001-07:00

I swear, I would like to round up every last wacked out conservative in this country and knock their fuckin' teeth out.

I knew it wouldn't take long for the attack dogs to come out.

This beautifully accomplished and intelligent woman, Sonia Sotomayor, the first Latina to ever be nominated for the United States Supreme Court, is getting attacked just days after the President made his announcement.

What the hell.

She's being called a "Hispanic supremacist" because of her membership in the National Council of La Raza. She's being called a racist because of a 2001 statement (a statement of fact, by the way) that her life and her decision making would be shaped differently than that of a white male who hasn't had the same experiences as her.

Whatever, assholes. If you look at this woman's resume and everything she's done so far, there is absolutely no question that she'd be an excellent Supreme Court Justice. But I guess one person of color (if you really count Justice Thomas as that) on the bench is enough, right?

Bastards.

Guess It's True...You Learn Something New Every Day

2009-05-26T19:13:00.001-07:00

Him: I'm so excited about my trip home next weekend.

Me: Yeah? What for?

Him: Well, I'm going for a friends' bachelor party. Plus, we're gunna go skeet shooting. It's been awhile since I've done that.

Me (frowning): I'm so disappointed in you, Nathan.

Him: Huh? Why?

Me: Why the hell you wanna kill the poor little skeet?

Him (perplexed): Are you serious? You're not serious, right? (chuckles)

Me: Well, you're talkin' bout shooting stuff, and I have a problem with that. What's a skeet any-damn-way?

Him (laughing his ass off): It's a fucking piece of CLAY. Man, sometimes I wonder about you L...

Me (embarassed and still a bit confused): Oh. Well fuck you! I'm a city girl, what the hell am I supposed to know about some damn skeet?! Why don't you just go to the range like the rest of us do?!

Him (shaking his head): Yeah, well, you know I'm telling everybody in the office, right? Don't be mad, that shit's funny as hell.

Me: What the hell ever.

Well, I guess I know what skeet shooting is now...

Dammit!

2009-05-21T10:39:00.000-07:00

It must have been the ease and confidence with which I wrote my last post about how we handle the heat out here in Vegas.

Maybe it's not quite as easy as I thought.

Especially when the fucking air conditioning is broken. Dammit!

I think the boss needs to shut the workplace DOWN before we all spontaneously combust. Jeezuz.

It's Really Pretty Simple

2009-05-19T09:03:00.000-07:00

K.S. asked me a question in the comments the other day about how I'm dealing with the Vegas heat. Well, I guess after damn near 15 years of living somewhere, one can get accustomed to anything, right?

Most people who have only visited this city think it's hot all year long. I'm always amused by the folks who make this mistake and come here with only shorts and t-shirts in the middle of winter (although the blogpeeps in the midwest & east coast might scoff at my use of the term, it's winter to ME, dammit!).

But winter has definitely left Las Vegas for the year. And since the desert is the land of extremes, it is May and summer is in full swing. Yup, we are up to 100 degrees already, and it won't be getting any cooler anytime soon.

So, how does Tha L survive in this "but it's a dry kinda heat, kind of like sitting in your oven kinda heat"?

1. Stay inside as much as possible. Can't tell how hot it is when you're in an air conditioned building.

2. Handle all business that requires being outside either early in the morning or late at night. THIS, my people, is when living in a 24 hour town is the best thing ever!

3. Drink gallons upon gallons of water. Dehydration sucks.

4. Sunscreen is imperative. Even for the black folks who think they'll be a'ight. Seriously.

5. Take frequent road trips to cooler locations. I'll be taking my first summertime trip to Cali real soon!

It's really pretty simple ya'll. And for all the folks who are planning a summertime trip to Vegas, believe me, the Strip will be just as nice after the sun goes down...no need to see all that bullshit when it's 115 damn degrees outside.

And please remember, what happens in Vegas doesn't always stay in Vegas. Especially if it's illegal.

Can Love Be THAT Damn Blind?

2009-05-14T09:42:00.000-07:00

Somebody tell me this, because I'm not a mother so I wouldn't have a clue. When a woman has a butt ass ugly child, does her love for said child really prevent her from seeing that the kid is just plain ugly?

Don't even TRY to give me that shit about everybody being cute in their own way. Dammit, some kids are just. plain. ugly.

This is my question as I peruse the baby pics on this website, looking for the son of my co-worker (who actually IS mighty cute, btw) so I can vote for the "cutest baby in Vegas". I swear, some of the mothers who put their baby pics up really need to be slapped.

I'm just sayin'.

When Do You Turn Your Back on a Friend?

2009-05-11T09:22:00.001-07:00

Whatup ya'll, and Happy Monday. Hope everyone had a great weekend, and that you left yo mommas feeling loved and appreciated...

Question:

When is it ok to turn your back on a friend?

Before ya'll answer me with the typical responses, lemme give a little background.

My big brother has this friend. We'll call him E. This friend has been around since we were children, has known me since I was "yay high". E and big brother played together, ran the streets together, did dirt together. You name it, they did it. Together.

Over the years, their relationship has been strained, but the bond has never disappeared. Although E has battled addiction for many years, has been in and out of prison, and never really pulled his shit together from the teens and early twenties spent fuckin' up, my brother has been the consistent friend. I'm talkin' bout the kind of friend that has invested thousands upon thousands of dollars into E's many business proposals, sent money when E was down and out, and the list goes on and on. Most of the time, big brother gets disappointed. E may end up going back to prison. Or he may have a relapse. Or he may just disappear for awhile and nobody knows what's happening.

Today, it seems like E is finally trying to turn his shit around. He's living in Vegas, actually right up the street from where I work. He's working a union job. He's got an apartment. He's been clean for a couple years. But with the economy the way it is, he's struggling, just like many of us are. The union job hasn't been calling him, and he's on the verge of losing his apartment since he's not working and can't pay the rent. My brother called me two weeks ago and asked me to take him some food because he hadn't eaten in a few days. Now, he got his car towed and has no transportation. And, since he's not been working, he can't pay his union dues so that he can work.

Yup, a vicious downward cycle.

Big brother is torn, and rightfully so. I mean, this has been his friend since childhood. And it seems like he's trying to pull himself together. But anytime they talk, all E has is bad news. This sob story or that sob story. I know times are hard, and maybe I'm just a little jaded by the things that I've seen my brother put up with from this cat over the years. But at what point is enough ENOUGH? At what point is it ok for a friend to say "sorry, I can't do any more"? Does my brother, who is now struggling to keep his business afloat and put his son through college, continue to be a crutch for another grown ass man?

Ya'll probably already know my answer, but I just don't know how to say it to my brother without sounding like a complete jackass.

Any advice ya'll?

Really?

2009-05-07T09:46:00.001-07:00

Really, Paula? Are you serious? I swear, you can't be serious...

You really wanna try to make a "comeback"? Please tell me you're joking...

I'm not a big Idol fan, so I missed her performance last night on the show, but I did hear her being interviewed on the radio while I was driving to the office this morning. And, let me tell ya'll, Tha L is not pleased.

Now, I'll give Ms Abdul her choreographer props. She can have THAT respect all day, all night. But the singing thing? Not so much. Even back in the 80's and 90's when her bubble-gum, whiney voiced, horribly off-key songs were all over the radio, I wondered whose hotel room she had to visit to get a record deal. I know, I'm wrong, but I'm just sayin'.

I've got one thing to say to Ms. Abdul. Well, maybe a couple more than one.

1. Sit the hell down.

2. Shut the fuck up.

3. Take yo ass to rehab.

That is all.

Feelin' Kinda Random

2009-05-06T11:31:00.000-07:00

I know I haven’t been around in quite awhile ya’ll…life lately has just been a little too hectic for me to keep up. But today, a sista’s got a little spare time on her hands. And I’m feelin’ kinda random. Feel me?

So…

Why the hell is it only May 6th and it’s a fuckin’ hundred degrees outside? Shit don’t make no damn sense. I’m feelin’ a road trip to Cali coming reaaaaal soon.

But the body is lookin’ TIGHT tho. All that sweating I’ve been doing at the gym is definitely paying off. I’m feelin’ a damn-near-butt-ass-nekkid trip to Cali coming reaaaallll soon LOL!!

Umm…what do you do for Mother’s Day if you ain’t that tight with your mother? Any suggestions?

Went to the pride festival last weekend and had a ball with my drinkin’ buddies and my GLBT peeps.

Him: “Honey, I’ve GOT to tell you. Whatever IT is, you have GOT it. YOU BETTA WORK!!”

Me: "Thanks baby! When we figure out what it is, we should bottle it and sell that shit!"

Allergies suck.

Allergies suck. Bad.

I should offer a class to teach people how to ask for money with confidence. Because I watched a colleague stumble through that shit yesterday, and it was quite painful.

I love my brother, but if he calls me at 6:30am one more time, his ass WILL be getting’ choked.

My homegirl Patti just text'd me and told me she's having a boy! She's already got 5 (yes, five) daughters...what the fuck is she gunna do with a little boy? Lawd help her.

I think Ellen Degeneres is hot. Not because she’s foine or anything, but her personality and her style have some wierd kind of sex appeal to me. Tha L’s not usually into white girls, but between her and Uma Thurman, I might be able to work some shit out…

I’ve been procrastinating on the dissertation for the past few weeks ya’ll. Somebody needs to slap the shit outta me. I know the robbery threw me off for awhile, but hopefully this weekend I’ll get my ass back in gear.

Less than a month until my man comes home for good! He’s in for some serious…well, I’ll keep that to myself for now.

Is anybody coming to Vegas this summer? Let a sista know! I throw a mean backyard bbq!

Get The Hell Away!!

2009-04-28T09:03:00.000-07:00

This shit is gettin' crazy ya'll. See, I've already got mild paranoia issues, so I really don't need any damn assistance feeling like I'm being watched or followed or that I'm gunna come down with some deadly airborne virus that'll end my life.

How many movies have I watched where there's some crazy ass outbreak and the city gets quarantined and people mutate into crazy ass monsters and start killing and eating each other?!!

OK, deep breath L...

But seriously tho, all this swine flu shit is freaking me the hell out. Makes me wanna turn into a recluse and stay locked up in the house, board up all my windows and doors, and take a shotgun to anybody who comes around trying to talk or breathe in my direction.

But since that's not realistic (dammit!), I will be in the office spraying everything and everyone who comes in my direction with lysol. And I wish a muthafucka WOULD try and get an attitude. Some of these fools could use a good dousing of bleach and hot water, but lysol will have to suffice.

Because Tha L ain't goin' out like that! LOL!

NOW You're Just Pissing Me Off.

2009-04-17T10:10:00.001-07:00

Seriously.

A recent post by Kyle got me all riled up about some recent shit that's been going on since my man's been away. Not that it doesn't happen on the regular...but maybe it's the change in season that has these fuckers sniffin around my ass like I'm a fuckin' dog in heat.

I'm completely aware that it's hard for men to have sincere FRIENDSHIPS with women without trying to fuck at some point. I get that, and I'm not so naive to think that somewhere in the back of every one of my male friends' minds is the thought of getting a little nasty from Tha L. It is exactly for this reason that I keep very few male friends around. The ones that I do have, I don't talk to very often and have learned to maitain very clear boundaries about what our relationships ARE and what they AREN'T.

But when Kyle speaks of the "unwritten man law" that says you DON'T FUCK WITH ANOTHER MAN'S WOMAN, all I can say is BULLSHIT.

Men are selfish. Not that women aren't, but dammit I ain't talkin' bout women right now. Men are fucking selfish, and if they perceive a chance to snatch another man's woman, it has been my experience that many will try to do exactly that.

So to the several gentlemen who wanna come sniffin' around just because you know my man's away for awhile, talkin' bout how much you respect him and respect me but in the next breath telling me that you can do so much better than him...

FUCK OFF. Because you may think that shit's cute, but all you're doing is pissing me the fuck off.

Now. Go. Away.

Awww....

2009-04-15T10:04:00.001-07:00

Peace ya'll...I know I haven't been around in a few, but I'm still kickin'. Hope all's well with the blogpeeps. Check out the pics of my baby niece on her first Easter. She's so cute I could just vomit.

Are You Smiling Today?

2009-04-09T11:15:00.000-07:00

Peace ya'll. Tha L's starting to bounce back from all the bullshit of the past week. Just thought I'd share a few of the things that made me smile this morning...

My first cup of coffee...

The fact that Josue always spells my name right...

Almonds & apricots for breakfast...

Perfectly ripe avocados for lunch...

And the color of my eyes....plain ole brown.

Sometimes it's the littlest things that make me smile. Are you smiling today?

2009-04-06T10:03:00.001-07:00

Where do I begin...

I must start by thanking all the blogpeeps for your encouragement, prayers, and advice. Ya'll will have to forgive me if I'm not the usual ornery ass L that you've come to (kinda) know and (maybe) love (LOL). If I wasn't still so fucking paranoid, I'd invite each and every one of ya'll to the crib for a big feast. But alas, I ain't ready for all that yet. Maybe one day we'll make that shit happen...I mean, everybody want's to make a trip to Vegas, right?

Anyway. I've got everything pretty much handled. Except for that feeling of security that I'm sure will take awhile to return. The jacked up part of it is, I don't think it will ever return to the level that it was.

But maybe that's a good thing. I'm all about learning lessons. And I completely understand and fully believe in karma. So while my non-buddhist friends are assuring me that whoever violated my home "will get THEIRS" , that really doesn't bring me comfort. I don't go around hoping for people to get theirs...I just go around hoping that people are ok. I must also remember that there is something in my own karma that contributed to all of this somehow, some way. Shit, maybe I was a thief in a former life. I'm not blaming myself, I'm just sayin', karma DOES work both ways. And all things happen to teach us something. My lesson has definitely been learned.

Last night as me and my girl Lisa prayed, I had such a hard time focusing. It was not until I turned my mind away from the anger and fear, and started to pray for the people who did this, that I started to get some relief. See, there's no sense in being angry, what's done is done. I know that the material things will be replaced. But as long as I am angry, I am defeated.

And defeat is not my M.O. 4real tho. So as long as it takes for me to feel safe again, I will endure that. As long as it takes to replace the stuff that was stolen, I will handle that. As long as it takes to once again sleep soundly through the night, I will deal with that. All of that will happen in time.

But the anger, THAT shit has to stop now.

Love, hugs & smooches to each and every one of ya'll.

The course of our lives is determined by how we react-
what we decide and what we do- at the darkest of times.
The nature of that response determines a person's true worth and greatness.
--Daisaku Ikeda

How Do I?

2009-04-02T22:57:00.000-07:00

How do I feel safe again? In my own home...

Left for work this morning. As I do every morning at the same time.

Came home from work this afternoon. As I do every afternoon at the same time.

My house was robbed today. What the fuck.

Chatting on the cell phone as I pulled up into my driveway. My garage was open. Not all the way, just about 8 inches. I knew what had happened even before I saw it for myself.

Went to the front door. It was unlocked. What the fuck. Opened the door and peeked in.

TV. Gone.

I backed out, closed the door, and immediately ran to my neighbor's house as I called 911. I'm shaking. Shock sets in quick, ya'll.

Call my brother.

Text my man.

Brother comes speeding around the corner. Immediately hugs me and hands me a flask. Yes, I could definitely use a drank.

My man left a committee meeting to call me. Dammit, I wish he wasn't away right now.

Needless to say, Tha L was violated today. Some sorry ass muthafuckas broke into my house and stole from me. Two TV's gone. My laptop gone. My 38, GONE.

My man had to call the police chief to get the fucking officers to hurry the hell up. Another benefit of dating a politician, I guess. They show up, extra apologetic about the wait, take the report, and tell me the next steps.

I've called and cancelled my bank account. Tomorrow I'll get with the insurance company, put a flag on my credit report. I know the drill. But what I don't know is how to feel safe in my own home again.

I know it could have been a whole lot worse. I could have come home early. It could have been in the middle of the night while I was in bed resting. And although every single drawer, closet, cabinet in my home was opened and shuffled through, there is no expensive damage to repair. Yes, there are so many things I am thankful for.

I'm not concerned about the TV's, the computer, the gun...I'm only concerned about feeling safe again in my home.

I am so thankful for my friends. My girl Lisa came by and sat with me for several hours. Made me laugh. I can't tell ya'll how many phone calls I've gotten...word spreads quick in my Buddhist community. Prayers and support coming from all over the place.

I just don't know how to feel safe again. Pray for me ya'll.