The Jewish Redneck's Blog

… to continue in English, press two

2010-01-17T20:09:00.000-08:00

I went to pay a ticket the other day and, although paying online is an option, when searching for my ticket number the database returned “no citation found.” So I called the police to see what the deal is. (Side note: found out that the ticket will post sometime in 30-45 days; however, you have to have paid your ticket or requested a court date within 21 days of receiving the citation, otherwise a bench warrant is issued. Your tax dollars at work.)

So I call this number (214-670-0109) as directed on the Dallas City Hall webpage (http://www.dallascityhall.com/courts/court_online_payments.html). As usual an automated message picks up and confirms, yes, I’ve called the Dallas Court Services line, just as expected. Next, it launched into the exact same speech in Spanish. Ok, this is a 50/50 proposition these days, but not a surprise when calling the DPD. What happened next made my jaw drop. In Spanish the message continued on passed the greeting and asked you to press one (1) if you wanted to continue in Spanish. Then, in English, it came back and asked you to press two (2) if you wanted to proceed in English. Yes, you read that right, one for Spanish, two for English. Call it for yourself; again, 214-670-0109.

Now I’m no foe to diversity and I believe in most tenants of the various equal rights organizations, and even support some of them monetarily and with my time. But isn’t this the United States of America? I know full well that the United States has no “official” language, but you can also note that, as of this writing, 28 states do, in fact, have English as their “official” language. And official or not, there is no disputing English is the language of commerce and law of this land.

Are my expectations so out of whack? If I were to move to another country I would full well expect to have to learn the native tongue. When I travel abroad the first thing I do when I know I’m going is look up key phrases and memorize them, then begin building myself a pocket cheat-sheet of other useful phrases in the local language. Why? Because when I’m in a country where another language is spoken I fully expect it is ME who needs to change, not them. When my great-great grandparents came to this new land that offered them an opportunity to prosper, they learned English, and without all the help that is now available such as English as a Second Language (ESL) classes.

Now is this really about having to wait an extra 5 seconds and then press 2 for English? No, it’s about the implication of this and other such actions we see happening. Diversity is a good thing, something to be celebrated, as long as diversity doesn’t mean complete division. Yes, we support new immigrants with ESL classes in public schools; yes, we provide help by making available multiple language forms at the DOT (DMV in some states) as well as hospitals and other public buildings, as we should. But I ask, where does it stop? I won’t be so bold as to say I know the answer, but I can say that pressing 1, not 2 for English would be a good place to start.

So why is it everyone sues to make sure they are “included,” yet in areas where they need to make an effort to be included all the sudden we have to make special arrangements? We are a land of immigrants and this past is part of what gives us strength as a nation; what binds those otherwise singular strengths together is our sense of community, one nation, together. Together in our own unique ways, but together for the common good.

"The strength of the United States is not the gold at Fort Knox or the weapons of mass destruction that we have, but the sum total of the education and the character of our people." United States Senator Claiborne Pell, for whom the Pell Grant is named.

The social degradation of any society begins with the language. Once communication skills are hampered, collapse of other social institutions is inevitable. We need to begin to expect more from our newly welcomed immigrants. Keep your traditions, keep the best parts of you and your heritage, but join us in becoming “one nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.”

How late is too late… for a Nazi?

2009-11-17T20:39:00.000-08:00

The headline reads: “90-year-old man charged over Nazi massacre.” Ok, you have my attention. Here is the article if you’d like to read it in its entirety, but here’s the synopsis. German officials have charged a 90-year-old man in the execution of 57 Jewish slave laborers just weeks before the end of the WWII. Claims are this man was part of the SS stationed in what is now Austria.

So, I got to thinking: How late is too late to pay for a crime? Here in the United States we have statute of limitations on many crimes; these basically restrict the amount of time after a crime is committed in which charges may be filed against the defendant. If time has expired it doesn’t matter if the person is guilty or not, they cannot be imprisoned for the crime. Of course, there are always exclusions, but you get the idea. That said, however, there is no statute of limitation on murder. This seems to be the crux of our social contract, you don’t kill me and I won’t kill you. Everything else comes after that first agreement. If you violate this primary agreement though, you can’t escape justice for a crime of taking another human’s life by hiding it long enough; you must inevitably pay the piper.

Which brings us to this 90-year-old man. The time has come for him to pay the piper, or has it? Just because we can charge someone with a crime doesn’t mean we should. At 90 years old how much time does he have left? What a different person he may have become after all these years. Where is the compassion in us that he was lacking so long ago? Is incarcerating a 90-year-old really going to be justice? Execution, is that the justice those 57 dead deserve? I struggled with this at first, but my unequivocal answer now is no. This man does not deserve prison nor the death penalty. Hear me out… the best way he can serve humanity, to pay his debt to those 57 Jews he executed mercilessly, is to live on and share his firsthand account every day of his life he has remaining.

This man’s sentence should be to help educate the world about the atrocities the Nazi regime committed. He should be a living example for all to hear and see of what hate and extremism lead too. Have his sentence be paid by going from city to city, classroom to classroom, person to person and have him tell of the atrocities committed. Force him to answer the question every day of his life, “Why?” For those Shoah (Holocaust) deniers the world now sees all too many of, this man can be yet another brushstroke in the tapestry of proof we offer, but this time, from one of the very criminals they say didn’t commit crimes. Bloodlust is not a Jewish value, but education is.

Should he refuse? Remind him the piper gets paid, one way or another.

Watered-down Nazis

2009-08-23T16:25:00.001-07:00

For years now we’ve seen an increase in use of the word Nazi to indicate something or someone we don’t like or who is too strict. Someone too strict at work? The “office Nazi.” A woman that proclaims too much or too loudly feminist ideals? ‘Feminazi,” a term widely popularized by Rush Limbaugh. Honestly, of all people, I blame a Jew for this. Yes, Seinfeld’s “Soup Nazi” seemed to be the opening of the flood gates for the use of this colloquialism. It seemed to signal to the general public that the taboo had expired and the term no longer heralded the ultimate in evil, but rather, a watered-down word that no longer carried the burden of a constrained reference.

Recently we’ve seen a dramatic rise in its use as a result of the healthcare debate. Rush Limbaugh (still a big, fat idiot) has compared the healthcare logo to that of the Nazi party. (See image at right). We’ve seen Nazi “SS” signs and armbands at healthcare protests and increasingly the reference to “Nazi SS death panels” as part of the healthcare reform. (Side note, I’ve read the section and it’s complete crap. Read it for yourself and don’t rely on me or any other pundit.) Swastikas have even been painted on a pro-healthcare reform congressman’s office sign.

Now this article isn’t about being pro or anti healthcare reform. Again, read it for yourself and make up your own mind. Don’t let the media or political hacks decide for you. What this is about is the trivialization of the true meaning of the terms. The word “Nazi” should be reserved for exactly what it is; a reference to the most evil and vile, dehumanizing political and sadistic organization the world has ever seen. It represents pure, unadulterated evil. There is no comparison. Hell, even “Neo Nazis” don’t have shit on the 1930’s Nazis. If you don’t believe me, go sit down with a Holocaust survivor or even a German citizen from that time. I dare you to listen to the stories not from a text book, but from a real person who witnessed these atrocities with their own eyes.

So my request of you. It’s time to take healthcare reform talks back to a civil discussion about what’s best for America. It’s time to honor the memory of ours and other Allies’ fallen soldiers from WWII and those who perished in the Shoah, the Holocaust. These are the people who paid the ultimate price at the hands of the “Nazis” and the “SS” death squads. If we continue to water-down these terms how else can we possibly explain to future generations the true horror that Nazis actually represent?

Polarization and Michael Jackson

2009-07-06T15:12:00.000-07:00

So I’ve tried to stay silent on the whole Michael Jackson issue, but I simply can’t any longer. It’s not so much the death or associated drama, rather, it’s the posturing of celebrities and media that I simply can’t shake.

Take for instance the recent article by Orthodox Rabbi Shmuley Boteach and the response to his article by Rabbi Eric Yoffie, head of the Reform movement. Texts can be found here and here. Short summations:
Rabbi Boteach: Was a friend of Jackson’s and believed he was a good person, one who was partially a victim of circumstances, but none-the-less someone Rabbi Boteach writes, whose death is an “American tragedy.”
Rabbi Yoffie: He’s a child molester, what more do you need to know?!?

Yes, these are over simplified summations so I encourage you to read the text for yourself. What I want to focus on is the black and white nature, the absolutism that is going on here. I’ve complained about this for years now and we only seem to be entrenching it further in our lives. We make absolutist statements declaring something either this or that, black or white, good or evil, without ever accepting the notion that most of the world and our lives are lived in the gray part that lies between. Being a self avowed Bush hater (W, not Sr.), I do blame much of this rhetoric on him and his neo-con cohorts. His decree to other nations from November, 2001 of “you’re either with us or against us” carried over to the domestic agenda. The clever play inserted only two options into American media and culture: Either you’re for the war and support our troops or you support terrorism, period. There are no other choices. Those who vocalized their support of our troops, but their opposition to the war were immediately and summarily labeled as soft on terrorists. (As a short aside, how many of the terrorists from 9/11 were from Iraq or trained in Iraq again? ‘Nuf said.) There was no acknowledgement of a middle ground, somewhere you could support our troops, love America, bleed red, white and blue, yet disagree with the policies of the then President. Forget the hypocrisy, forget the politics, forget the emotions; rather, think about the statements in and of themselves. Do we really want to become a nation of absolutists? Isn’t that one of the tactics the hardliners in Iran and elsewhere used to take complete control of those countries?

So back to Michael Jackson. Why is it he’s either a pop icon and a “noble spirit,” someone whose tragedy should be looked upon and the question asked, “Was there no one to save him from himself?” clearly portraying him as a victim; OR, he’s a child molester who should be held accountable for his actions and remembered by this and shown to be the perfect example of how not to live your life? Isn’t there some in-between in there somewhere?

We need to address this issue as all others that face us in our lives. Although it’s easier to label something black or white, good or bad, making it a one or a zero thus forcing a digitized version of our world view, for in doing so we cut lose so much of what life is made. We live in gray areas and experience the world in shades, some gravitating to one side or the other, but very few falling solidly in one convenient bucket. We like those buckets though because making something either this or that is easier. We can avoid the hard questions and the spiritual and moral dilemmas that come along with dipping our toes into the gray.

Michael Jackson was an immensely talented performer, one who clearly influenced a generation and whose influences will continue to be felt decades after his death. His music inspired and comforted millions upon millions of people the world over. For this he will be missed. But he was also a flawed man, one who had difficulty facing up to the consequences of his actions. In the end, he and he alone was responsible for his inappropriate acts. For this he should serve as a warning to others and a disappointment to fans.

I’m not failing down the slippery slope of situational ethics or moral relativism as some would warn. We must agree that there are certain constants of objective ethics we all adhere to regardless of religion, creed or nationality. After all, that’s what our social contract is based upon. What I am saying is we cannot allow ourselves as a nation to continue to fall down the rabbit hole of absolutes. Account for all sides of an issue, and know that sometimes the answer really does fall in that tough gray area.

How I fought “The Man,” and won…

2009-06-02T19:24:00.000-07:00

So I’ve been e-mailed and called numerous times since I posted my status update about beating “The Man” the other day when I went to protest my property taxes in Dallas County. Honestly, I’m tired of retyping or retelling what I did or any tricks that may help others, so here it is.

First, I’ve fought my property taxes twice now, once formally and once informally. The difference? Easy, for the informal you walk into the Dallas Central Appraisal District’s office on the designated days, wait your turn, and then meet with a DCAD assessor. The formal process is exactly that, more formal. You have to submit your challenge in writing, then you are assigned a hearing date. At this hearing you appear before a panel, state your case, and the tax assessor’s office has someone in there to state their case on why the property shouldn’t be devaluated. The panel of three really old people confers and a decision is made.

The time for the informal process has come and gone for this year, but keep it in mind for future years. I found it to be faster and less stressful, but still got a good result. For the informal I showed up on a Saturday morning. In hand I had several items: copy of comparable houses from the MLS listings (thanks to Jason Friedman at Keller Williams Realty Plano Jason@dfwhomesandloans.com for all your home and insurance needs), pictures of damage to the house (must be major, minor doesn’t count) and a calculation of what I thought the price should be. It’s very important to note that all information is relevant to the market and condition of the house as of January 1st as that is when the assessments are made. So, if the market tanked in February, tough. What was the going rate as of January 1st? That’s what matters. Also, just because the county lowered your value doesn’t mean you can’t fight for them to lower it more. In this year’s assessment they lower my property value by $2,400. I went in and got another $12,500 added onto this, making my total taxable value go down by almost $15,000 instead of only $2,400.

So once in the office here’s what happened. Oh, and going in dressed like you aren’t a homeless person helps. The guy even stated when we were discussing that I obviously looked like a guy who knew what he was talking about. I was only in jeans and a nice button up, but you should see the clowns that show up! So he asks why I think the property value should be lower. My first answer was the entire market has dropped 18% over the last year. He said that wasn’t a reason. At this point I thought I was in for a fight. Next, I said I had comps that indicated the values had dropped from when I purchased my house. Now remember, numbers are what you make of them. Don’t lie as they will probably catch you, but what constitutes a comparable house is partially subjective. Be smart… don’t pick the house that last sold for $20/sq. ft. more than yours did. So, he looked at my comps and asked if I had them done up by a realtor. I said yes. At this point he said the comment about I clearly look like I know what I’m doing and he simply asked what I thought the property should be at. I told him a number $17,000 below what they had said, he told me he couldn’t get there because of a few comps he pulled up on his computer. He then asked what I could live with since he couldn’t meet that. Well of course I said as little above that as possible, but he said to state a number. I stated $12,000 below their number, he punched it in and said he could do that. Bam! 25 minutes of waiting, 5 minutes in his office and I lowered my value by $12k. It really was that easy.

So, for those of you headed to the formal hearing, here’s my story on that. My property value went up by $5,000 on their appraisal. I showed up, waited for about 15 minutes in the office, and then was called into a conference room. I was asked to state my case, and did so as above and had copies of the financial breakout and comps for all three panel members. The county tax guy made his case and pulled up on the overhead several houses in my area as comps. There were some questions back-and-forth for both of us from the panel, took about 15 minutes or so, and then they conferred and made a decision. I was asking to drop the value by $25,000, they agreed on dropping it $10,000. After the decision one of the panel members even told me I needed to come back the following year because the market hadn’t really tanked until after January 1st, 2008 and thus, they couldn’t lower it that much. He said I’d have a better case for the January 1st 2009 as the market really sunk later in 2008.

All-in-all the time spent was well worth it. Here are the key things to remember:
1) Be prepared with documentation relevant as of January 1st
2) Dress decently
3) Be friendly (they’re usually getting yelled at and appreciate a nice person)
4) Have your case and reasons logically laid out

If you have additional questions I didn’t answer please post them in the comments as I’m sure others will have the same questions and I’ll answer them as best I can. Also, share your success stories or tips you pick up when fighting, “The Man.” Lol.
--J.R.

Meat Cards: Another reason the world hates us

2009-05-16T14:34:00.000-07:00

I ran across this website and honestly, very little surprises me these days, but I must admit, I didn’t see this one coming. I’ve had to ponder this thing for a day or two, as well, I did my research to make sure it’s not just a hoax, and low-and-behold, and sadly, it’s real.

With over ¼ of the world’s population living in extreme poverty (defined as living on less than $1.25 per day) and many third world countries having a an extreme poverty rate of >80%, we wonder sometimes why these people largely hate the United States of America and Western culture overall. Well, there are many reasons, but I need to add this one to the list.

Meetcards.com is devoted to bringing us the first and finest in beef jerky based business cards. Yes, 100% edible jerky with your business information seared onto them. So some poor bastard in the third world can’t feed himself or his family, and we are so gluttonous as to hand out business cards made of food. I’m not sure if this is a reason to think America is the greatest country in the world, or perhaps it’s simply a sign of an impending apocalypse with North America at the epicenter.

No matter what it is, check out http://www.meatcards.com/ and ponder the consequences for yourself. --J.R.

Outrage! And I still remember Gilad Shalit

2009-04-30T15:37:00.000-07:00

Today, Youssef Magied al-Molqui was released from an Italian prison after serving 24 years of a 30 year sentence. He was released for “good behavior.” Forget the fact that he escaped once and was then recaptured and sent back to Italy to continue serving his prison term. I guess “good behavior” translates differently in Italian than English.

Who is Youssef Magied al-Molqui? He was the leader of four Palestinian hijackers who, in October 1985, took control of the Italian cruise liner Achilli Lauro. The hijackers, these days we call them “pirates” apparently, shot and killed a disabled American tourist, 69-year-old Leon Klinghoffer, and threw his body overboard with his wheelchair. Why? They said because he “created troubles” as one of the terrorists later commented. A 69-year-old elderly man in a wheelchair caused four heavily armed terrorists “troubles?!?” So much so they decided to execute him in his wheelchair, then dump the body overboard? You must be asking yourself, “am I missing something here?” Oh, did I fail to mention Mr. Klinghoffer was Jewish? Read more about the Achilli Lauro story here.

So Al-Molqui is released and ordered expelled from Italy. I’m sure he’ll enjoy a hero’s welcome in any Arab country because, he did after all, kill a Jew. So heroic, executing a wheelchair bound 69-year-old. So for hijacking a cruise ship, executing a disabled man and escaping prison this man ends up with the penalty of 24 years in prison and expulsion from a country that has never been his home?
This brings me to Gilad Shalit. It is coming up on almost 3 years now that he has been held captive, without basic human rights afforded by the Geneva Convention, and denied all access to the Red Cross or any other human rights organization or medical attention which even the captors say he needs. And why, what is his crime? He’s a Jew, kidnapped from his army position by Hamas terrorists. You can read more about Gilad here in a blog post I made back in November of 2008.

My point? I’m tired. I’m tired of the double standard. I’m tired of Hamas and other such groups being given such carte blanche leeway by the EU and others. Mostly, I’m tired of the fact that Gilad Shalit is still being held captive, for no other reason than because he’s a Jew. Wake up, someone, anyone! It’s time for the U.S. to put its foot down and say, no more aid, no more food, no more weapons for any state that harbors terrorists. Instead, feed the starving here in the States, save our taxpayer dollars and let the world know we don’t just hand out carrots to anyone hoping they come around to being our friends in peace. It’s time to pay the piper world or the music gets turned off.

Where to start? Nothing more in aid for the Palestinians until they release Gilad Shalit, alive. How much less could we ask?

Peace and remembrance on this day and all days… -J.R.

The Pope on Trial: Guilty of Manslaughter

2009-03-23T21:00:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the delay in postings. Sometimes time just sneaks past you.

So I’ve debating posting this as it may be considered offensive by some of my Catholic friends, but I cannot, in good conscious, let this pass without addressing it. You’ve seen, by now, the statements Pope Benedict XVI made regarding HIV/Aids and condom use in Africa. The Vatican encourages sexual abstinence to fight the spread of the disease and Pope Benedict has stated, “The traditional teaching of the church has proven to be the only failsafe way to prevent the spread of HIV/Aids.”

He continues, “You can't resolve it with the distribution of condoms. On the contrary, it increases the problem.”

Wait, what?!? Did I just hear the Pope, Catholicism’s leader and unquestioned holder of the hotline to G-d, say that condoms will actually INCREASE the HIV/Aids epidemic? I’ve read multiple sources for these statements and in the end, yes, he is staying exactly that. I understand he is advocating abstinence as the best solution, and while I agree in the ideal world it would be, that course of action has clearly, and unequivocally, failed. A few numbers…

- More than 60% of the world’s 40 million HIV infected people live in sub-Sahara Africa
- In three southern African countries, the national adult HIV prevalence rate has now exceeds 20%! These countries are Botswana (23.9%), Lesotho (23.2%) and Swaziland (26.1%)
- Average life expectancy in Sub-Saharan Africa is now down to 47 years, when it could be 62 without AIDS

Imagine that. Think of your 3 closest friends or family members. Now think that one of you has HIV. That’s reality in some of these countries. There is no magic bullet to solve this crisis; there is no Dr. Salk waiting in the wings with a miracle cure. But it can be fought.

Effective HIV prevention campaigns have been carried out in Senegal, which is reflected in the relatively low adult HIV prevalence rate of 0.9%. Also, Uganda shows us that a widespread AIDS epidemic can be brought under control. HIV prevalence in Uganda fell from around 15% in the early 1990s to around 5% by 2001. This was done through prevention education, early detection and advanced drug treatment. Prevention education included teaching how the disease spreads, advocating abstinence, and the distribution of condoms.

Abstinence only programs are like plugging Niagara Falls with a few rocks: you may slow the downpour a little, but in the end it will all come over the ledge. A comprehensive prevention program is what is needed. Yes, advocate for abstinence, but don’t put all your money on one horse, because time has shown us that that one horse is a long-term loser.

From the legal definition of involuntary manslaughter:
“An omission to act or a failure to perform a duty constitutes criminally negligent manslaughter. The existence of the duty is essential. Since the law does not recognize that an ordinary person has a duty to aid or rescue another in distress, a death resulting from an ordinary person's failure to act is not manslaughter. On the other hand, an omission by someone who has a duty, such as a failure to attempt to save a drowning person by a lifeguard, might constitute involuntary manslaughter.”

I think we can all agree that by the nature of his position Pope Benedict XVI is not an “ordinary person.” He has a duty to protect life as he demonstrates repeatedly in other areas, including Pro-Life, that he is willing to be held up as an authority and one responsible for leading the moral and spiritual lives of over one billion people. Is he not the lifeguard of these billion plus people? Is he not responsible for helping to educate them, properly, about how to protect their lives and those of their children?

Pope Benedict XVI is engaging in criminal behavior by endangering millions of people by discouraging the use of condoms. I understand wanting to hold fast to an ideology and to religious precepts, but as a rational human being (remember, G-d made us this way) I would expect one should use the knowledge gained through proper scientific method. Assuming one cannot condone condoms, surely one has a duty to not speak out against them in the global fight against HIV. Advocate your preferred method, but don’t put millions of lives at risk by proclaiming condoms as a cause and denouncing them as an effective method to stem the continued transmission of a disease that carries a certain death sentence.

I have had many issues with the current Pope, from his questionable revoking of excommunicated, Holocaust denying Bishops, to him reinstating the Tridentine rite, to my unapologetic subjective view that he is but a shell of the man and religious leader Pope John Paul II was. But to me, this act constitutes criminally negligent, involuntary manslaughter and is a terrible miscarriage of truth. I also believe it clearly breaks the 6th (5th for Catholics) commandment, “You shall not murder.” Although he himself is not pulling the trigger and taking a man’s life, he is instructing them how, and telling them it is the right thing to do to, to load the proverbial gun by advocating against condom use.

The Catholic Church needs to reevaluate their long standing opinion on condoms and “unnatural” birth control devices. It is no longer about preventing life from being made, but about saving lives that are already here.
--J.R.

A Time to Laugh

2009-02-16T20:58:00.000-08:00

So, we’ve had a rough time of it lately folks. The economy is in the crapper and our illustrious political leaders can’t even agree on what color it is we see in the toilet. The stock market plunge not only cost people their jobs, but for some it has pushed out that all too righteous reward for 50 years of hard work called “retirement.” If you aren’t yourself laid off you certainly know more than a handful of people who have been. Around our offices we’ve lost not just co-workers, but friends and mentors. At home, families sit around the kitchen table deciding on whether to cut little Jimmy’s baseball league or little Sally’s dance lessons; and sometimes both. Vacations are postponed and cancelled, the little fixes around the home have to wait, and for some, the local food pantry provides a vital pathway, if not an embarrassing one for some, to continue to put food on the table. We are in a recession and it sucks all around.

I’ve thought a lot about this as many of you have. What should I be doing differently? What is the answer for America? Am I the next one to be tossed out into the cold, fighting for the few open positions out there? Amidst all this and the echoes of “biggest recession since the 30s” resonating in my head, I asked a pretty simple question. Why the hell don’t we ask our grandparents what they did in the 30s? Too obvious for our government to do, I know, but for our own personal situations why not? Unfortunately, I am no longer blessed with any of my grandparents, but I know exactly what my grandmother (may her memory be a blessing) would say. How? Because we talked about it, the tough times, what it was like and what she did. What would she say now? You need to laugh. Every single day, no matter how bad it is, she said there was always something you could find to give you a good laugh. And she lived this. Even at the end when things were bad, I have a great memory, my last of her, of the family in the living room laughing. She had moments of clarity, and what shone through was her humor. So there, with her sick and unable to even stand, the family was momentarily whisked away on the wings of simple laughter. The family squabbles were set aside, the warmth pushed through the cold chill of eminent death in the air, and the giddiness of laughing like children overtook a group of adults in their 30s, 50s, 60s and one in her 90s. What we laughed about is irrelevant, and honestly, my memory to keep locked away for those tough days when I need it.

Laughter won’t cure illness, it won’t restart a seemingly lifeless economy and no, it can’t prevent wars. But what it can do is to rekindle a spark of hope. It can magically take us away from our troubles, if only for a fleeting moment. It can, in the end, renew the spirit to give it enough for just one more day. And day by day and laugh by laugh we get by. It isn’t the endgame we should relish, but rather, the little moments that get us there one day at a time.

So in this spirit, and that of George Carlin and Lenny Bruce, let’s laugh at what we shouldn’t. I’ve lost employees, mentors, and good friends from my job to layoffs as most of you have. But hey, there’s always a brighter side to it. Or at the very least, something to give us a spark of laughter, if only for a moment or two.

Top 5 reasons work is better since the layoffs

1) Three words, “front row parking.”
2) You now have at least 6 months to blame everything on someone who was laid off. “Yeah, that report… uhh… Jack was working on it. Boy, he must’ve screwed it up before he left.”
3) More coffee for the rest of us.
4) Lines in the cafeteria are shorter, and the servers are much nicer now too!
5) Not only are your chances of winning Buzzword Bingo greater now, but you have a full list of new words to use (RIF- reduction in force, right sizing, rethinking the paradigm, doing more with less, resource reallocation).

Keep smiling folks. And don’t be afraid to put up your list of things I missed above.
--J.R.

Top ten phrases I can do without in 2009

2009-01-18T21:36:00.000-08:00

It’s a new year, so let’s try to make it a good one by putting some phrases, acronyms and words in the ground, 6 feet under, to never, ever, ever be seen or uttered again. The world will truly be a better place without them.

10) WMD. Seriously, I can’t take this crap anymore. It’s been 7 years. They weren’t there, America suffered in the world of public opinion, let’s move on.

9) Literally. This word has lost all meaning. I hear it all the time and I can’t take it. “I literally almost died!” Unless you missed getting hit by a bus by 2 inches or found yourself getting lit up with shock paddles in the ambulance, then no you didn’t you dolt! If society can’t use it correctly then let’s just kill it. That’s why we can’t have nice words around here kids, you just break them.

8) Web2.0. WTF is this anyway? No one can define it for me, so I guess in that way it’s like porn. No one can define it, but they know it when they see it. Thanks Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart.

7) Economic crisis. Ok, we get it, we’re in the worst recession in over a generation. Got it. Understood. Totally comprehend. Now let’s focus on how to fix it you do-nothing, waste of public dollars politicians.

6) Rocket surgery. It was stupid the first time we heard it. Now, it’s just embarrassing.

5) Maverick. Not only has the word lost all meaning thanks to the beating about of it by the McCain campaign, but the real killer here is every time I see, read or hear the word the only thing that I can think of is the unholy, live cat being put through a meat grinder tail first, demonic sound of Sarah Palin screeching “Maverick!” at the top of her lungs. I honestly feel auditorily violated each and every time.

4) Dick Cheney. Enough said.

3) Going green. This falls close to Web2.0. Put three people in a room and ask them to define “going green” and you’ll end up with four answers. Time to retire this phrase and focus on actually doing something good for the environment.

2) “Hope” and “Change”. For those that think I exclusively hate on Republicans, this one’s for you. Enough talk of hope for the future and change in America. The hope is spiraling down faster than my 401K did last year and enough talking about change. Stop talking about it and make it happen!

1) Reality TV. For the love of all that is holy, can we please agree that these “reality” shows are about as real and unscripted as professional wrestling? They’ve had their 15 minutes and made their millionaires, now let them go the way of Gilligan’s Island and shelve them never to be seen or heard of again.

So, what did I miss folks? Drop your most hated phrases into the comment section and we’ll try to bury them too.

Open letter to my representatives

2009-01-01T12:28:00.000-08:00

Please go to http://www.congress.org, input your zip code, and you will automatically be able to write an e-mail to all of your political representatives in government. It’s that easy.

Open letter to:
President George W. Bush (R),
Senator John Cornyn (R-TX),
Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison (R-TX),
Representative Eddie Bernice Johnson (D-TX 30th),

As a registered voter, I call on you to support the State of Israel not in blind devotion, but based on the following truths. As a national leader you have the unique ability to support freedom and democracy and reaffirm each country's right to freedom from terror and pursuit of happiness and peace.

Whereas, Hamas is an Islamic extremist terrorist organization, as designated by both the United States and the European Union, which calls for the eradication of the State of Israel;

Whereas, Hamas rockets from Gaza have purposefully targeted vulnerable southern Israeli cities, specifically landing on or near private homes, schools, colleges, hospitals, daycares and recreation centers;

Whereas, no sovereign government in the world would stand by and allow its citizens to be under steady and heavy attack;

Whereas, Hamas continues to hold hostage Cpl. Gilad Shalit, who was kidnapped on June 25, 2006, in southern Israel and refuses even basic humanitarian conditions or international Red Cross involvement;

Whereas, Israel is taking maximum precautions to avoid harming civilians in Gaza;

Therefore, let it be known that the State of Israel, the strongest standing democracy in the Middle East and long-time friend to The United States of America, has every right to defend their citizens from outside attack.

Let it also be known that The United States of America supports Israel unequivocally in its pursuit of measured and targeted military response and pursuit of peace within its borders and the region.

Pro-Israel Neo-Nazis?

2008-12-22T22:18:00.000-08:00

From the file of “WTF” comes a story with the perfect definition of contradiction. As you may have already read out there in the webosphere, there is a new group out of Germany calling itself the “National Socialists For Israel.” (http://www.haaretz.com/hasen/spages/990228.html The link on the name takes you to their homepage, which is mostly in German. Read the second link for a brief summary.)

Seriously? Well, the members have yet to publicly declare themselves and hide behind the anonymity of their website, fueling speculation this may simply be a German leftist plot to simply stir things up. You can read plenty about this elsewhere on the web, but what I want to focus on is the underlining nature of such support, if it reveals itself as legitimate, not just to Israel and the Jewish people, but universally.

“The enemy of my enemy is my friend.” This ancient Arab and/or Chinese proverb has not only shown up in both the Hebrew and Christian bibles in similar form (Exodus, Chapter 23:22), but has also served as foreign policy and even business guidelines for the modern era. We’ve all taken it with a grain of salt for the most part, but something this ideologically converse in such tangible measures really forces us to ask the question, is the enemy of my enemy my friend? In short, would this group prove to be a true and honest effort on behalf of the organizers and members, should we willingly accept and embrace their support?

This reminds me of the outpouring of support from the religious right, especially following the 1994 “Republican Revolution,” for Israel. The question then, as it remains to this day, is should Israel and the Jewish community accept the support considering the motives behind the support? Evangelicals support Israel not for Israel’s sake, not out of an altruistic love of freedom and democracy in a sweltering pot of Muslim despotism, but rather for their own religious beliefs and hopes. Beliefs, I remind you, that the “Second Coming” of Jesus will happen only when the “Ingathering’ of Jews to Israel takes place (See Pat Robertson, among others).

Are we really all enemies? Of course not. Are we completely in line with each other’s motivations and beliefs? Obviously not. So, where does the acceptance of support end? Should it end with Neo-Nazis, and their support for Israel based on Social Darwinian precepts and espoused eugenic rationalization?

As a child I was taught you say a lot about yourself by the company you keep. Although good advice for our personal lives, we also need to view our political beliefs in similar reference. As a Zionist can I and should I accept support from a group who bases its support for Israel on a dogma that completely and wholeheartedly disgusts me?

I’ve struggled with this for years when considering the evangelical support. I like the ADL’s response, in form of an article by Abraham Foxman, in which he states we should accept evangelical support, but only in accordance with holding to our principles and faith and, in such, that we do not offer a quid pro quo, nor are asked for one. I humbly embrace the evangelical support for Israel and do so with the expectation that although our basis for doing so is different, both come from a genuine and well intentioned origin.

As for the “National Socialists For Israel,” well, as we continue to wait for the true identities of the organizers and something more than a website and some bumper stickers, I will, at this time, have to decline your support for my beloved Israel. I cannot, in good conscience, accept support based on Social Darwinism and pseudo-eugenics, the ideas of which were used in Hitler’s Nazi Germany as a means of justification for the genocide of the Shoah. Yes we are a people of few numbers and perhaps should welcome support from wherever it comes from, but in order to be the People of the Book, the people we are and the ones we aspire to be, we must chose our friends wisely and distance ourselves from this organization.

Your thoughts?

Jobless claims and the virgin theft

2008-11-20T12:48:00.000-08:00

Just a quick one, but I simply had to comment. It was announced that jobless claims have hit a 16-year high (Mmm… 16 years ago who became President?) and those continuing on the roles and receiving benefits is near a 26-year high (Mmm… who was Prez in 1982?). Interesting facts that I expect we will see get worse before they get better. Expect an absolutely brutal December… and get ready to invest in some real gems on Wall Street come January. This downturn is going to produce an awful lot of millionaires 10 years from now.

But on the heels of this news comes, well, what I hope is NOT something we will see more of. In Newport Beach , California last Friday, a ~5-foot bronze statue of the Virgin Mary was stolen from Our Lady Queen of Angels Catholic Church. The thieves had to bust the statue out of the cement base and carry off this not-so-light 5-foot virgin. How heavy? Well, at 550 pounds per cubic foot, I’d have to say she was a hollow statue, and would still weigh in the thousands of pounds.

So what’s the connection between jobless claims and the statue theft? Well, investigators believe the statue was stolen simply for its recycling scrap metal value. At about $1 per pound, that’s an awful lot of work for a few bucks.

60 days until we remove the virus known as “W” from our body politic.

“Goodwill” gestures? Tell that to Gilad Schalit

2008-11-19T16:59:00.000-08:00

Question: when was the last time an Arab country did anything to demonstrate “goodwill” towards Israel?

Just ponder that question a while.

This week it was announced that Israel plans to release 250 Palestinian prisoners in a “goodwill” gesture toward Fatah leader and PLO Chairman Mahmoud Abbas prior to next month’s Muslim celebration of the Eid al-Adha feast.

Israel last freed Palestinian prisoners on Aug. 25, 2008, during a visit by U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice. Rice was visiting to help push peace talks along between the two sides. At the time, the release of the 198 prisoners was billed as a way to bolster Abbas, whom the U.S. and Israel see as the best chance for a peaceful solution from the Palestinian side.

Prior to that, Israel freed five Hezbollah militants and 200 bodies of terrorists on July 16th, 2008 as part of a deal in which they received the bodies of two soldiers, Sgt. First Class Ehud Goldwasser and Staff Sgt. Eldad Regev, captured and killed by Hezbollah in 2006. One of the five militants released was Samir Kantar, who had been serving multiple life terms in Israel for a grisly 1979 attack in which, among other atrocities, he executed 28-year-old Danny Haran in front of his 4-year-old daughter just before smashing her skull in with the butt of his gun.

Through all this, Staff Sargent Gilad Schalit has remained a prisoner within the Gaza Strip. Since June 25th, 2006 Gilad has been used by the Palestinians as a negotiating piece. They’ve gone as far as agreeing to a prisoner swap in October of 2006 as mediated by Egypt, but then reneged without explanation. It is speculated that Iran applied pressure to prevent the release of Shalit.

"Since Gilad was captured, more than two years ago, Israel has released approximately one thousand Palestinian prisoners, in several goodwill gestures. But these gestures have not pushed Gilad's release even by a millimeter, and have even increased the appetite of Hamas and its demands," Noam Schalit, Gilad’s father, said.

During his entire captivity, Gilad has been refused even basic rights provided by the Geneva Convention and other such treaties. He’s even been denied access to the Red Cross or any other human rights organization.
To see a full timeline of Gilad’s kidnapping and imprisonment go to: http://www.theisraelproject.org/site/c.hsJPK0PIJpH/b.672631/apps/s/content.asp?ct=4007269

So I ask you again, when was the last “goodwill” gesture from the Arab world towards Israel? I can’t come up with one and I question Israel’s constant appeal to these types of gestures as a naïve way forward in peace talks. It’s clear Israelis place a higher value on the dead bodies of their fallen comrades than Arabs do of their living ones. So why does Israel keep trying to offer something of clearly little value to them for something we hold dearly?

The time is up and we must get serious about securing Gilad Shalit’s release. In addition, we can no longer afford, nor tollorate these one-sided trades or “goodwill” gestures. It’s time the other side bellies up to the table and gets serious about the peace process. Releasing Gilad would be a step in the right direction.

Change has come to America

2008-11-04T21:09:00.000-08:00

“Change has come to America.” -- Barack Obama

Is it wrong for me to say I told you so? Honestly, I don’t care. President elect Obama took Ohio and won. I told you back in August if Obama took Ohio or Florida then he’d win hands down. As of 9pm central time I felt the pressure lifted. My shoulders relaxed, my eyes grew less tense, and I enjoyed watching the rest of the people continue to stress out. I knew though; I knew as soon as Ohio was called by Fox News that McCain was doomed to fail. It was simply an insurmountable mountain for him to climb to achieve the magic 270.

So now what? Now, we revel in the glorious change we have ahead. Not what you think I mean, but the fact that once again we have proven we are in the greatest nation on earth. We have, as we have 44 times before, peacefully changed our head of state by means of a democratic decision. For over 200 years we’ve handed the mantel of power from man-to-man, from generation-to-generation. Amazing when you think of how much blood has been spilt as power has transitioned over the last 200 years in other countries around the world.

And now, we must do as John McCain said. We must join together, as Americans, to make this country the best it can be. We’ve failed at that over the last 8 years, perhaps even more. Let’s take this time to dedicate ourselves to making America the land of opportunity, land of liberty and the land of freedom; together as Americans.

"My God! How little do my countrymen know what precious blessings they are in possession of, and which no other people on Earth enjoy!" -- Thomas Jefferson

Facebook causes death?

2008-10-17T14:47:00.000-07:00

Which causes more deaths per year, saccharin or Facebook? (Answer below.)

Imagine this. You just broke up with a significant other and upon the next Facebook login you realize you are no longer considered “in a relationship” or “married.” Thus, you change your status to “single.” Nothing out of the ordinary here, right? I’m sure many of you have done this exact thing. Seems pretty innocuous.

Well, not in this day and age. Mr. Wayne Forrester of Croydon, England was on the other end of such a Facebook experience and decided to take things into his own hands. I mean, how dare his soon to be ex-wife tell her friends via Facebook that she and her husband have split.

Hell, we share everything else on there. The idea of personal privacy has certainly changed in the last decade or two. Imagine in 1984 if you were told your friends knew your every move (granted at the time my friends and I thought girls had cooties and Danny White was the best quarterback ever, but just pretend.) Most people would have had two reactions: first that of disbelief, and then of outrage.

“Surely no one has such an ability, and if they did what an affront to personal liberty!”

The cry of the fruition of an Orwellian future would sure bring people to act in outrage. They would rise up against Big Brother and shed their shackles of doublespeak.

Nowadays many of us couldn’t imagine not knowing everything as soon as it happened. With tools like Twitter we’re actually broadcasting, sometimes to complete strangers, our every activity. And, we do it in our own type of doublespeak.

WTF? @TEOTD IMHO we r nutz & F2F comm will die AFDN. But, wca?

You understand it? You know at least half of it I’m sure. Translation: “What the fuck? At the end of the day we are nuts and face-to-face communication will die any fucking day now. But, who cares anyways?”

Yes, these are all accepted, if not commonly used “words” in the new doublespeak. So, have we entered into the beginning phase of Orwell’s futuristic society? If we have, are we the ones to blame? There’s plenty more to talk about regarding privacy and liberty in our present day, but I’ll leave you with this.

Mr. Forrester of Croydon arrived at his old house in the early hours of the morning and, upon entering, attacked his ex Emma with a kitchen knife and a meat cleaver. He stabbed and hacked her to death. His defense? The Facebook posting “ totally devastated and humiliated” him. Unfortunately, this violent act based on on-line communication isn’t an isolated incident.

So, to answer the question, Facebook causes more deaths. Saccharin has never been proven to be a carcinogen and as of 2000 the USDA has proclaimed saccharin as safe.

Next time you reach the keyboard to update your status, pause and think. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/london/7676285.stm

Follow the bouncing blog

2008-09-23T21:50:00.001-07:00

Added a new feature that lets you "follow" this and other blogs. I dunno, check it out and let me know if you like it.

$700 billion can buy a lot of apple pies

2008-09-23T21:15:00.000-07:00

$700 billion can buy a lot of apple pies. In fact, it could buy over 2,000 McDonald’s apple pies for each and every American today. Thanks CNN, glad we got some perspective on it.

All I can think of is that I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore. Our government has fucked up again, pure and simple. I don’t even know where to start. Maybe with a question of how adding a $700 billion government bailout for the private sector is sound free market economics, but ensuring every American citizen can get health care is somehow socialistic. We can’t have it both ways Republicans. Or perhaps that we are providing $700 billion in tax money to the private sector as a loan for people who’ve already shown us they can’t run a damn business or pay the obligations they have. An apropos equivalent would be taking a family that can’t afford their mortgage payments and go ahead and give them more money/ loans to pay off that mortgage, thinking somehow a new loan means new responsibility or ability to pay. If I went to a bank and said I just lost my business because I made bad investment after bad investment and then asked for a loan because, hey, this time I got a good feeling, they’d toss me out on my butt. How is it that seemingly smart, rational people get elected and the minute they cross the Washington, D.C. city limits they turn into morons? (Now I’m looking at both of you Republicans and Democrats.) Could it be special interests or protecting their fat-cat friends and donors? Well, that’s another blog entry for another time.

Perhaps my favorite in this whole mess is Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson’s quote about the terms under which he’d accept the bailout. “Decisions by the Secretary pursuant to the authority of this Act are non-reviewable and committed to agency discretion, and may not be reviewed by any court of law or any administrative agency.” WTF?!?!?!?

Seriously? Here’s a $700 billion blank check to a guy who 6 months earlier (March 16, 2008) said “our institutions, our banks and investment banks are strong.” He gave a full endorsement that our economy is strong and sound. So are we to believe that in 6 months the entire industry went from great to flat on their face? Not even a crack head with a gambling problem could do that. He’s shown he is either incompetent or dishonest. Either way, Mr. Paulson has shown he doesn’t deserve our trust nor our confidence as Treasury Secretary, be it because he’s incapable or because he’s a liar.

So to sum it up, we’re giving a government bailout loan to institutions that clamor for more free market economics and less government intervention, who have already shown they can’t run a business and we’re going to do it via a person’s oversight who didn’t even see the writing on the wall that the failure was coming, and he won’t have any oversight or have to answer to anyone in how he allocates the $700 billion. It’s like sending a sex addict through a whore house unattended with a fist full of hundred dollar bills that belong to us to pay the mortgage. We’re sending someone we don’t trust, with no oversight or accountability through a maze he’s already shown he can’t handle to do something vitally important.

If you’re not mad then you’re not paying attention folks. Or, perhaps George Bernard Shaw was right when he said, "Democracy is a device that ensures we shall be governed no better than we deserve." I think we deserve better. Perhaps I should run for political office. Nah… people wouldn’t vote for me; I make too much sense and that’s clearly not what they want. They prefer polished BS over the cold, hard truth. Besides, given our current polarization there’s no way anyone who is moderate could make it out of a primary race on either side of the isle. What do you think? Seriously, I’d like to see some comments here. America is in trouble and it’s up to every one of us to make a stand and make a difference.

Defensive Driving

2008-09-18T15:07:00.000-07:00

So a few weeks ago I got caught going 72mph on highway 75. Seriously, the posted limit is 60, but it’s Texas. More so, it’s Dallas! No one goes the speed limit. The speed limit signs are more of suggestions I thought, general rules of thumb like “watch your step” signs and the such.
To get out of the ticket I chose to take defensive driving. Not only will I have the ticket cleared from my record, but I’ll save $80 a year on my insurance. Whippie, but I guess it’s the best way I can get back at the man this week. So I’ll take my $80 sir!

Now, where to take said defensive driving class? Well, I’m not one for sitting in a classroom for 6 hours straight on a weekend. I don’t own a working VCR so no defensive driving via tape. I think they have DVDs, but I am simply too lazy to go to Blockbuster to find out. So I settle on an on-line course. I figure that way I can drop in and out over my lunch period and at nights and over a week or two get the required hours in. Turns out it was even better. I dropped in between drug induced comas. (yes, prescription because of my surgery.)

I look for two things: something to keep me from offing myself during it; and something cheap. I thought I found this in www. comedydriving.com. Come on, it says comedy right in the name and it’s only $25. Holy cow was I wrong! This has got to be the worst attempt at humor ever. I would have rather watched paint dry or flies procreate. Poorly done voice impersonations plus shitty animation combined with horrible jokes (if you can even call them that; calling police “pigs” seemed to be the most reoccurring) and sprinkle liberally on an already painful topic equals disaster. Seriously, I’m recovering from surgery and am on some great pain killers and I still want to take the cord from the mouse and hang myself. At least they had a continual countdown showing me how many painful minutes remained ahead of me until completion.

I guess the old adage is true: if something seems too good to believe, it probably is. Funny, on-line convenience and cheap was just too good to be real. So my advice for all you looking to erase a ticket or lower your insurance in the state of Texas, AVOID comedydriving.com or risk suicide. Or, just don’t speed. I guess that’s a good option too.

Israeli this and that...

2008-09-02T20:09:00.000-07:00

So back to my Israel stories I have been neglecting to pass along.

Here are some tidbits that weren’t long enough in and of themselves for a post, but nonetheless are some good little postings.

One day, when we were in Jerusalem, there was an interesting dose of reality that “hit” us, or rather, our bus. We had been dropped off in the old city and did some walking tour type stuff. It was time to return to the bus and as we approached it, it was clear the glass in the door had been shattered. When David (the bus driver) got off, I asked him what happened. He replied that he had driven around the city to get to the parking area and had passed by the Muslim quarter. Our bus was clearly marked with “Birthright” which confirms it’s a bunch of Jews on board. Well, a couple of Arabs popped out from an alley and started throwing rocks at the bus. The Israeli’s reactions that were with us kind of surprised me. They weren’t surprised. They weren’t really mad. It was complete disgust/ disappointment. For me, after some time to think, I’m not mad. As the guilt trip goes, I’m simply disappointed.

Now onto a good item. I’ve discovered Israeli crack. It’s called Bamba. Bamba is unlike anything I’ve had before. Take cheesy poofs, not Cheetos, they’re crunchy, but the fluffy cheesy poofs. Now instead of a cheese flavor, make it peanut butter flavored. I know, sounds weird. I had my doubts too, but this is seriously the greatest snack food ever. I’m now on a hunt to find it in Dallas.

If you haven't seen my pictures from the trip yet, e-mail me and I'll send you the link.

Politics: Early predictions

2008-08-25T22:27:00.000-07:00

Since I called the Democratic VP candidate as Biden about a month before the announcement, I'll toss out another early prediction...

Looking at the electoral map there are a few situations that could play out. If Obama gets Ohio OR Florida he wins, period. McCain MUST carry both states.

If McCain pulls Wisconsin and Michigan away from Obama, McCain wins. Obama should keep both, but it will cost him millions to do so. If he struggles with cash late in the campaign he could very well lose one of those states. If he loses one, it still comes down to my final verdict below.

Final verdict... you heard it hear first, and probably last...
North Carolina could very well be the decider. (No, not as in GW is the "decider.") And the deciding factor will be voter turnout. Obama better pray for large turnouts, especially of first time voters and Clintonian Republicans who've stayed home in the last few elections.

The challenge? Being on the East Coast polls will close before the rest of the states and thus, no last minute push could be swayed by how the other states go.

This is all academic though if Obama can pull one out in either Ohio or Florida, Florida being the more likely of the two. McCain could very well take Wisconsin so look for large amounts of money being poured into that state soon after the conventions are over. If there is a protracted fight there it will come down to a dollars game. Who has more for last minute media blitzes.

My Electoral Map

PS- McCain takes Mitt as VP.

I told you so... oil, sweet oil

2008-08-08T13:48:00.000-07:00

This goes out to all the idiots out there who were buying sweet crude futures at $165 a barrel and above. I'm glad you're losing your shirt, or Timmy's college money or your retirement. Trying to capitalize on war and tough times is simply wrong. You tried to pull a fast one and got caught with your hand in the cookie jar. You deserve it.

For those not sure what I'm talking about oil dropped below the $118 a barrel mark this week after having been going through the roof and hitting almost $150 a barrel just one month before. Why was it going through the roof? It could have been global economic pressures caused by the continued industrialization of China, India and other such countries, or it could have been the prospect of America falling into another quagmire with an OPEC nation (Iran), or it may have simply been overall demand rising in the U.S. itself. It could have been, and all these played a role, but another driver no one wanted to talk about was the idiots buying the oil futures at well above current projections. What happens then? People get scared and jump on the bandwagon. Then, more people are buying at even hire prices. Fear and the lemur mentality take over.

Next time, don't follow the rest of the pack into the on-coming truck. And more importantly, don't try to make a quick buck at someone else's misfortune.

Trip to Israel, Part I (the highlight)

2008-07-30T15:26:00.000-07:00

So, I’m back from Israel and am still attempting to get my sleeping patterns straightened out, but oh what a time! I will be posting several stories over the next few days and will hopefully get to posting the pictures this weekend. All-in-all, it was an amazing trip.

So everyone keeps asking me what was the most amazing part of the trip. There are so many moments that stand out, both good and bad, that although it sounds cheesy and cliché, it really is hard to chose just one. After thinking about it though, I’d have to say spending Shabbat (the Jewish day of rest) in Jerusalem was what stands out the most.

There are several reasons for this. The first is, well, I’ve never prayed with that many Jews before! Friday night at the Kotel (Western Wall) was truly amazing. Thousands of people dancing, celebrating and praying, all from different backgrounds, from so many different countries around the world, but all with the single binding fact of being Jewish. For my Christian friends that probably doesn’t sound like much, but to put it in perspective, think that only 2 people out of 100 in the United States are Jewish, and that’s the second highest percentage behind only Israel! Jews make up 0.2% of the world’s population. They’re ain’t many of us out there!

But you ask, “Redneck, there are so many other religions out there too, surely they are just as small.”

Well, here is a list of just a few of the religions that have more adherents than Judaism:
Christianity (duh), Islam (double duh), Hinduism, Buddhism, primal-indigenous, African tribal, Sikhism, Chinese traditional, secular humanism and Spiritism. Never heard of some of these? Neither have I. You get the point. So, for someone from outside Israel to be surrounded by 90% Jewish people, it is truly a rare event and one that is hard to articulate.

Looking across the Kotel and seeing the shtreimel (fur covered hats of mostly Russian Jews), spodiks (somewhat taller fur hats) and kippot (a.k.a. yarmulkes) of all kinds and colors was beyond surreal. Call it Kafkaesque, but without the bad hangover. :)

The other amazing part is I have never been in a city that almost completely shuts down for Shabbos. After sunset (when Shabbat begins- remember, no Rolexes 3,000 years ago) the city streets of Jerusalem are almost completely empty of cars. We enjoyed a leisurely walk back to the hotel and spent half of it walking in the middle of the street. The following morning we walked to services and even stopped, waiting on people to catch up, in a rotunda that the day before was like the Indy 500. Saturday morning though, not a car in sight. It was like a post-apocalyptic zombie movie, sans the blood and the brain eaters.

There was a calm, peaceful quiet about the city. Shops were closed, streets were quiet except for people talking and their laughs echoing down the street. Even the air seemed a little lighter and crisper than before. Whether you believe in G-d or not, you would have to agree that seeing a city of 750,000 people come to a near complete halt for 24 hours has a calming influence that we rarely encounter, and is something we have a hard time comprehending.

If you feel like it, in the comments share the moment in your life where it seemed the calmest your world ever was.

Israel

2008-07-22T07:05:00.001-07:00

Well, I wish I was posting under better conditions. An Arab left a construction site on a bulldozer today in downtown Jerusalem and overturned cars and tried to crush civilians. He was shot and killed, but not until after there were at least 2 civilian deaths and unknown number hurt.

The mood on the bus was tense. Many of these participants have never closely followed Israeli news and thus, don't know what happens or what kind of reaction to expect. The Israeli soldiers joined us yesterday for the remainder of the trip. I think this was good so the Americans could see their reactions and discuss with them after the attack.

The trip so far has been quiet and nothing major to write about. Tiberius was neat and due to schedule changes we could only spend a few hours in Safed. Eilat today was beautiful and the beaches and snorkleing were great, but damn it's hot!! The guys from Brooklyn are melting. :) We also hiked Masada pre-dawn to see the sunrise over the Dead Sea, swam in it and in Eilat swam in the Red Sea. It was weird to swim were you could easily cross over into Jordan with a small fishing boat.

We are heading to Tel Aviv tomorrow and then on to Jerusalem. Shabbos at the Kotel should be amazing and I'm really looking forward to it.

Ok, I've got carpel tunnel from tapping this out on my blackberry so I'm signing off.

From your favorite Jewish Redneck, smack dab in the middle of the Negev desert.

Hi ho, hi ho, it’s off to Israel I go…

2008-07-10T13:00:00.000-07:00

Yes, the redneck is headed to Eretz Israel (Land of Israel). My friend Regan called me this past weekend and the first question was, “You have lots of vacation, right?” That is usually a loaded question; however, this time it was great news. The male counselor dropped from the trip she was leading and needed a last minute (8 days notice) fill-in. How lucky am I that I answered the phone?!?

So, all I have to do is get to NYC (not as pricey as you’d think) and the rest is free courtesy of Birthright Israel! So, a quick call to book a flight and BAM!, I’m going to Israel virtually free. Airfare, hotels, activities and most meals. My luck really has turned around!

I’m working double-time this week to get things set at work so I can be gone for almost two weeks. I leave July, 15th and come back on the 27th. While I’m there I will be able to check e-mail at my yahoo address and facebook (what did we do before Black Berries?). If you don’t have these, odds are I don’t want to hear from you. If you think this is a mistake, give me a call.

I also plan on trying to drop a few updates on here while I'm there to keep everyone in the know. I look forward to some great insights to share.

Ok, off to get things in order.