Blessed Motherhood

The Breaking Dam

2009-07-10T22:12:00.000-07:00

Well, for someone who hasn’t felt like posting for so long, I’ve got ONE LONG POST to put up today. It is truly like a breaking dam, because it is a culmination of things that I have been noticing and studying for about a year. And they all go together, so there’s no way to talk about just one at a time. Bear with me, too, because it will be difficult to bring these things together on paper the way they come together in the lightning fast brain. There will surely be moments when you wonder if I have begun to write fiction, but I hope to make it cohesive by the end.

The first thing I want to mention is the scriptural command for testing a prophet to see if he/she is truly from the Father or not. There are two criteria, though many people stop at the first. Deuteronomy 13 says that a true prophet’s words will be proven. In other words, if he says something is going to happen, it does. But that is not enough, because even the demons can give someone a prophecy and then make it come true. The second test is to make sure that what the prophet says and does lines up with the Word. If a prophet says something will happen, and it does, but then he tries to lead you away from the Bible, he is a false prophet. This is important, and we’ll come back to it in a bit.

Next is something I have been discussing with Laurie for a while (I am just referencing where the topic came up- she does not necessarily agree with anything I am saying here). We have both noticed a trend recently in Hollywood to use movies with certain amounts of prophecy in them. The problem is that usually there is a little tiny bit of something from the Bible followed by a ton of anti-scriptural claptrap. At first I speculated that it was merely to draw people and their money to the box office because prophecy is currently a hot topic, but now I believe it is part of the whole deception of the end times. Some of the movies we discussed were The Day the Earth Stood Still, Angels and Demons, and Knowing (and now the previews for 2012 due out in November). Anybody with a passing knowledge of scripture can likely pick out the connotations in these movies. The disturbing part is that those who aren’t acutely knowledgeable in the scriptures can very easily be led astray. This is another reason is it VITALLY IMPORTANT that you know your Bible.

One very prominent idea in the movies and media right now is that of alien-led exodus from the planet. The premise is generally that we have destroyed the earth through our actions (global warming, pollution, religious based wars, etc.) and the aliens must come down and either save us all, or ‘rapture’ a select group to start over on the new earth. Norm Franz has a DVD called Report From Roswell: Unraveling the UFO/Alien Phenomenon that I think every believer truly, truly needs to see. It is only $14 at his website, or it does have permission to copy on it if someone has a machine that can make copies (mine only does CD’s). In this DVD, Norm uses the lens of scripture to examine things such as the alien autopsy, ufo sightings, and different cults that believe that aliens are our gods. Many of these cults have an end-times theology of aliens coming to earth to rapture us away!

What interested me in this video in the first place were all the recent blog discussions of aliens and how they could be demons. Most specifically was the discussion Ace had about the mating of the ‘sons of God’ with the daughters of men in Genesis 6. This discussion was a great example of why when we don’t understand something, we need to go back to the original languages. There is already so much confusion and so many false teachings because of the many Bible perversions that are sold (I’m not picking on anybody, just stating a fact). If you read this passage in the Hebrew, the translation is ‘heavenly beings’ or those who dwell in the realm beyond earth. This understanding is important for 2 reasons. First, we know they were not ‘christians’ because as I wrote last year, we did not have the power to become the sons and daughters of Yah until after the once-for-all sacrifice of the Lamb (John 1), who was called his ONE and only begotten son. Instead, a good way to explain it would be to compare the phrase sons of God with the phrase sons of man (or in this verse, daughters of man). The difference between them is the realm in which they dwell. Because some languages have only one word, like son, while others have several variations with different meanings, there can be something lost in the translation. That does not mean that the scriptures are translated in error, only our ability to understand them fully is at fault.

Secondly, we see here that they mating of these two created offspring. Anybody with any creationism training knows that two different species cannot mate together. Even before I knew what evolution was or was old enough to be concerned, I remember a Sunday school teacher saying that two species cannot mix, and this was good evidence that we were created special and stayed that way. The reason this is important is that many heresies were formed from the theology that Yah could not impregnate a woman, so that Yeshua was either fully divine or was fathered by someone else and Yah just orchestrated it. Obviously the sons of God, or celestial beings, looked like humans. This will be important later on, too.

In this discussion over at Ace’s blog, it was mentioned that many reports have been made by women claiming to have engaged in intercourse with (and sometimes being impregnated by) aliens (or demons). The importance of the head covering is discussed by Paul to be for the benefit of the angels, or heavenly beings, and the discussion went along the lines of wondering if that were to do with this joining of the two. The head covering serves as a sign that you belong to Adonai and are therefore off limits, so to speak. There is no indication in the scriptures that the sons of God cannot tell the difference between men and women, thereby necessitating a sign. Rather it would seem that in this explanation, the covering is a sign of belonging to Yah and his order of things, which makes you ‘untouchable’.

Remember also that Satan was at one point a good guy and that when he fell, he took 1/3 of the angels with him. If the theory is correct that what people are seeing as aliens are actually demons, or fallen angels, it poses some questions. When we talk of demons looking like aliens, or vice versa, we get a picture in our minds of weird looking creatures with big heads and black eyes, and it makes you wonder why anybody would want to have intercourse with something like THAT! Why didn’t the women in the Bible run screaming from the sons of God? Why didn’t the babies come out looking like science fiction characters (because the only difference noted in the Bible is that they were giants)? Why would someone today want to have intercourse with an alien?

And then I saw something in these Hollywood movies that made complete sense to me, kinda connecting the dots. In one, the aliens (demons) disguised themselves as humans. They were walking around just like everyone else until the end, when they took off the masks and ‘surprise’, it’s really aliens. There are plenty of people who say they are believers but who don’t know the Word, or who have mixed cultural Christianity with so many other things that there is no longer a label for it, so it wouldn’t be a surprise if they believed that ‘God’ sent aliens in a spaceship to rapture them away (2 Timothy 4). But what about those who do know, because we are told that the deceptions will be so great that even the elect might be led astray. It’s hard to imagine church people lining up for a UFO ride, believing it was scriptural. But then I re-read 2 Corinthians 11, where we learn that Satan can disguise himself as an angel of light. Can he take on any disguise he wishes? What if the alien suits are the disguise and the demons really look like people, and will reveal themselves as such when they stage their own second coming? How else would you explain masses of people being deceived into thinking the devil was really the Christ himself (Matthew 24:5)?

Many, many people are expecting a rapture from this earth. Could it be possible that Satan will come first, posing as the Messiah, in the very same way? But surely we would know Jesus if we saw him. Well, how would you know? By the pictures painted hundreds of years after his death? By his charismatic personality and the miracles he performs? How will you really know him? What if the deception is crafted to look different to each person? The false messiah might look like the Mahdi to Muslims, the Maetraya to New Agers, and whatever people are expecting or believe in, including aliens. And he may look like Jesus to those who think they know him but don’t. We will know him as a true prophet if what he says happens, and if he follows the Word. In the same way, we will know the counterfeit by his failure to agree with the Word.

Not only do we need to know the scripture to know the signs of His coming, but we need to know the scriptures so that we can detect the fake! If Satan comes in disguise, he will still tip his hand by going against scripture, because he is by definition the lawless one. I have read recently that there is noting to prevent the return of Christ, but I disagree and think this is a dangerous heresy. We are given a list of things that must happen before our Christ returns. There are events like an increase in earthquakes, famine, and wars that are the beginning of birth pangs, but those have been happening all along. They can be hard to pin down as fulfillment of prophecy, and unfortunately many will see anything close to one of these occurrences as a sign. But we have also been given very specific, one-time events to tell us for sure of the times we are in. If we don’t know these, it can be easy to fall for what is given as a counterfeit.

BEFORE the return of Christ....
1. 2nd Thessalonians 2 says the son of perdition had to be revealed before Yeshua will return. I have not yet figured out how this works in with the pre-trib rapture theory (one of the reasons I don’t agree with it), but it fits perfectly with people believing the first thing that arrives on earth being the saviour. We know that false christs will arise first based on the chronology of Matthew 24.

2. Yeshua said that we will see the Abomination of Desolation before his return (Matthew 24:15-16). That means he will not show up and go to Jerusalem to the place of sacrifice first- the antichrist will. The antichrist will set himself up as the one to be worshipped rather than giving glory to the Father. There is also a warning that many will flee to the wilderness in Judea once the false messiah is revealed. If the true Messiah of Israel came first, what reason would there be for any of them to flee?

3. After the revealing of the antichrist, there will be tribulation like has never been before (Matthew 24:21-22). There will be no mistaking that we are in the tribulation. It also says the days must be shortened for the sake of the elect. If we have been raptured away to heaven, why does it matter to us how horrible things are on earth? Obviously, we will be here, both because of this promise that time will be shortened for our sakes, and because this sign happens before the return of Christ.

4. After the tribulation, the sun will be darkened and the moon will not shine (Matthew 24:29-30). The stars will all fall and the heavens will be shaken. We need to be careful of trying to fit something into this description that doesn’t go, because even the false christs will be able to perform signs. Yeshua’s signs will not happen until the signs above have happened (23-25).

5. Yeshua said when he returns, it will be like a flash of lighting across the sky that everyone will see at once (Matthew 24:26-27). He specifically said not to believe those who would say he is in one place or another. I used to think that we would all see it at once by TV, but that doesn’t make sense because the Bible says EVERYONE will see him coming. What about those without TVs? I think instead that the TV will be a means of deception, broadcasting the arrival of others in specific places, and people will go ‘here and there’ to see him. Yeshua specifically said not to do that.

Given the number of ‘prophecies’ being circulated that aliens will come to earth to save us one way or another, and the expectation of many of the Messiah's imminent return, the ideas of Satan coming in a disguise and leading people to believe he is the true Messiah is not much of a stretch. Especially since so many don't know what to look for other than 'perilous times'. Rather than avoid these movies with false prophetic messages in them, I think we ought to know what delusions are being presented so that we can avoid them ourselves and hopefully help others who might be deceived. Unfortunately, many in the church believe one of three things about demons:

1. They are not real.
2. They are real, but do not exist in our realm.
3. They exist in our realm, but cannot touch or affect us.

All three of these theologies are wrong. To prove it, read 1 Peter 5:8, Ephesians 6:11, and James 4:7. The devil and his army are real, and they are working feverishly to try and take as many away from salvation as they can (Revelation 12:12, 13:7). What easier way to deceive the world than to take the little bit of knowledge they have of something and twist it into a shape they don’t recognize as darkness? Satan has long taken that which Yah made and tried to counterfeit it...why would the Second Coming be any different?

UN Convention on the Rights of the Child

2009-06-30T17:09:00.000-07:00

I have been reading a lot about this document from Home School Legal Defense lately, and what I have read has all been scary in that it would not only take away the rights of the parent, but also of the US to determine child safety laws. Those who are pushing it in the US say it would not jeopardize homeschooling, but it is happening right now in the UK. Anna has some posts about it already, so to avoid duplication, I will just put up links.

Warning from HSLDA
Who to contact
Is your congressman a sponsor?

I did try to call Ambassador Rice, and the phone is still off, so I went looking for the address of the UN building. Here is the address, and the letter I sent if you would like to copy it (obviously you might need to take out the foster parent part). I dated it July 4th and will wait to mail it then as I felt that the perfect day to send off my opinion on the idea of giving away American freedoms.

Ambassador Susan Rice
c/o United Nations
1775 K Street Suite 400
Washington, DC 20006

July 4, 2009

Dear Ms. Rice,

I am writing to you regarding my serious concerns over the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child. As a foster parent, I certainly have a great deal of regard for the protection of children and their rights to safety and happiness. What I disagree with is the notion that our nation, pioneers in the advancement of child protection laws, educational standards, and equal opportunity, would need to take a step backward and join a convention that would not only supersede US law, but have absolutely no benefit to our society whatsoever. The Child Protection system in our country is not broken. What is broken is the ability of parents and teachers to keep kids safe because of those who already do whatever they wish with no regard for the rights and safety of others.

In the US, we see the ill effects of advancing the ‘rights’ of children who do not have the maturity to make such consequential decisions. Already we have schools full of children who cannot be controlled because they have learned that those is authority do not have the power to make them behave. The CRC gives a child the right to refuse to follow any rule or regulation that he may find ‘stifles’ his creativity. Were we to adopt the CRC, the stripping away of parents' rights to train their children would leave all of society very similar to that of many High Schools, where the few adults present are token caretakers and the children, not mature enough to be responsible and yet protected by their right to free expression, would be free to engage in whatever behaviors they desire. And who will take responsibility for the outcome? Surely not the parents, whose very rights to teach those children right and wrong have been relinquished to the UN!?!?

You have stated that the failure of the US to ratify this convention would be a disgrace. What would be a true disgrace is the handing away of US sovereignty to the UN for no purpose other than making nice. If you personally desire to be ruled by a patron, move to Europe and one of its many EU member states. Leave to the US, the birthplace of freedom and countless great reformers, the determination of what is best for the best. We fought for our independence….it is not yours to give away.

Lover of Freedom,

Amy *****

I also contacted my congressman and told him he needed to step up like many of the other Ohio congressmen already did and protect what is not broken. If you read the studies and statistics, the problem is not with parents stifling their kids' creativity. The problems are in homes where the parents are either absent or too permissive. Giving kids a bill of rights will only increase the problems tenfold!

The Staus of Blessed Motherhood

2009-06-22T20:12:00.000-07:00

As any of you who have read here for long know, I have considered deleting the whole blog for some time. I believe the hour is late and there are grave issues to be watched closely. As a mother of young children, I don't have the time to devote to researching and reporting on these issues as they ought to be covered. I also feel the need to start pulling back and concealing as much as we can about our life.

I was also faced with a feeling of exposure when someone connected to my kids' past found my blog and was using the information found therein in a way that filled me with fear. It can be hard to remember that they are ours forever and legally adopted with no one who can lay any claim to them, but as someone who struggles with the everyday attachment issues, having anyone feel they still own any part of those kids shakes me harder than I care to admit.

The decision has been made, in conjunction with my husband, to leave the blog here, as we use cards for witnessing that bring people to this page and the gospel message. There are also many who ask questions about fostering/adopting that are easier answered once than repeatedly. We have deleted a great many posts in order to protect our kids and their schedules better. We also know that fostering and adopting kids is a calling, and regardless of the number of days left on this earth, there is a need for networking among those of similar convictions. As the world becomes more rebellious and decadent, our kids will be more drawn to the behaviors and people they were removed from.

I apologize for any broken links or missing explanations. Feel free to point them out and I will correct them as best as I can.

Lastly, the only true questions, and what everything I have ever written here points to, is where are you headed? Can you truly close your eyes and pretend that what is going on around you is merely coincidence? The is ONE true and Holy G-d who has laid out the end from the beginning for any who are willing to listen. Do not kid yourself about your standing with Him. He is only merciful to those who have accepted his offer of atonement- the blood of the Lamb. Don't wait until it is too late to find out you are lost.

Shalom,

Amy- mother of many

Fireproof

2009-02-22T02:01:00.000-08:00

We watched the new movie Fireproof last night, and it left me with a stomach ache that is still present this morning (even after Tums and water). I won’t give away the plot, but the gist is that when marriage gets hard, people find out what real love is- because it is not based on feelings. Real love is the choice to do what is best for someone regardless of whether they have earned it. It was a kick in the stomach to me for more reasons than the obvious.

Gary and I have had quite a rough patch lately. I will tell you that the stress of ironing out the details of the problem we’ve been working on for over a year are the precursor, but we also both know better than to use our spouse as a rug-beater. The movie was a reminder more than a shocking awakening when it comes to us, though, because we’ve discussed before that even when things get rough or we aren’t ‘feeling it’, we committed ourselves for life. What surprised me is how convicted I was by the movie over my attitude toward some of my children.

In watching the extras on the DVD, the director said a certain scene was the crux of the whole movie, because the main character (played by Kirk Cameron) realizes that the frustration he feels over his wife’s rejection is exactly the same way he has been relating to the L-rd. He cannot show her real love because he has not experienced it himself.

Ouch.

As much as I might argue in my head that our kids should feel gratitude toward all that we have sacrificed for them in order to fully accept and understand what the Father has done for them, the fact is that in my own mind, they don’t deserve such grace because they have not earned it. In light of what we saw last night, I am faced with one of two choices: either I haven’t experienced that unearned love myself and therefore don’t understand it, or I have and am being stingy in offering it to others. That is not a mirror I like looking in to.

I have let myself become a barren desert when it comes to one child in particular, and know fixing it will be excruciatingly painful. I have even thought to myself lately that I will not be in heaven because I cannot forgive her (Matthew 6:14-15) but have to honestly consider if being able to hold my grudge is worth the cost of my own forgiveness (and for so much more). Because I am so utterly addicted to the Father, there really isn't an option. I will not come before him like the man who was forgiven a large debt and yet refused to forgive another's debt.

More on the Nadya Suleman Story

2009-02-12T11:42:00.000-08:00

The more I read, the angrier I get, and I have not been able to get ahold of Anne Curry to let her know how discriminatory I felt her interview was in comparison to the other families who have had multiples, so I'll just put it here and hope some of those people who can't seem to say anything nice will at the very least know that the whole world does NOT in fact agree with their tirades.

First, for clarity, I do not agree with many of the decisions Ms. Suleman made. I am completely against IVF, as I wrote before, because it gives the doctor too much god-power. He could be throwing those embryos in the trash while pretending to implant them in order to force you into more cycles and more money. He could sell some of your embryos to someone under the table. He could use his own sperm without your knowledge. And don't give me the 'doctors live by ethical guidelines' speech, because you're the very same people who are condemning a doctor for implanting this woman to begin with. I believe in the sanctity of marriage and the sanctity of family- that both should involve a man and a woman, committed for life. And yet I find myself defending this woman against the culture of which she is a product. The culture that said you can have whatever you want and you don't have to do it the way it has always been done.

So, say someone wants a big family. Life-long dream. No progress the traditional way (married and trying to conceive), so we move to the advances in science to see if they can provide a solution. We do W+X and get Y, which is a baby. Repeat 4 more times, and get Y (except once when it results in YY). So we have a precedent here of W+X equalling Y. Even the margin of error resulted in only YY. So for a sixth time we do W+X, and get YYYYYYYY. Even people who work in statistics and probability will tell you there was no way to know that was coming. We have created a way to fiddle with the human body in order to get what we couldn't before- surely you had to figure somewhere it was going to backfire. You can't even buying an appliance without a warning that if you use it in a manner other than what the manufacturer intended it for, he will not be liable for what happens to you.

Then I keep reading comments about how a single, unemployed mother should never have that many kids- one is enough. Whoa! (so much for a woman's right to control reproduction, BTW!) If the problem is that she can't possibly care for all those children and give them what they 'need' (read: everything advertised on TV)because she is not working, then why subject even one child to a life of doing without? Feminism's jagged pill is that you have the right to demand whatever the world says is normal, but anything beyond that and you're on your own. If it is an ethical dilemma, what impact does the number of kids have? She would be just as 'unfit' to one child as to 14, no? So you're willing to pay taxes to support a woman with one kid, but that's the cut-off? You people are deranged.

On to the financial arguments. Ms. Suleman is currently living off of student loans. I'm still waiting for the point here. You mean that is different than the thousands of couples who take out loans to pay for IVF, or for overseas adoptions in countries who have made babies a commodity? That's different than someone who has a life long dream of living in a prestigious house getting a loan to pay for it? We are currently bailing out those people and their pie-in-the-sky mortgages, but the only person we can blame for such a 'scheme' is the lady who's dream was kids instead of a house? This is America- when we can't afford what we want, we charge it. We get what we want now and agree to pay for it later. And while we're talking about the financial aspect, isn't investing in kids a better risk than commodities? Kids appreciate. They will grow in value as they become old enough to work. Houses and cars depreciate. At least her investment makes logical sense! And she is using those loans to get the degree that the world has said she cannot succeed without.

Well, her house is too small. Does anybody remember the house the septuplets went home to? Or better yet, the homes our great-grandmothers not only raised large families in, but gave birth to those families in? If someone had 12 kids in an 800 square foot cabin today, they'd be taken away! Jimminy Cricket, we're sure lucky our government finally went against its own constitution to determine for us what is best, because we sure don't know ourselves. Of course, there would have been nowhere to put the kids taken into custody 200 years ago, because all the neighbors lived the same way. No wonder they were so miserably unhappy and our nation suffered a lack of inventors and heroes.

And finally, our country has 'progressed' to a point that people can condemn one another without ever meeting. Countless ~~quacks~~ psychologists have been paid to consult media moguls on the mental health of Ms. Suleman. Without any kind of clinical sessions or testing, they have given diagnoses ranging from an unhealthy preoccupation, to schizophrenia, all based on an hour long, edited interview with a journalist who focused on her own presuppositions to determine the questions. An interview with a woman who had just been through the most exhausting and terrifying experience of her life, both emotionally and physically. Bringing the argument full-circle to the first argument I made, in America, sanity is now subjective. G-d preserve us.

In Defense of Large Families; Revisited

2009-02-11T06:36:00.000-08:00

I find myself amazed at the timing of my previous posts to what has become nothing short of a media circus over Nadya Suleman, the mother of the set of octuplets born in January. I feel we as believers need to be standing up for this mother of many, and finding ways to offer assistance in any way we can. Some of the reasons why are similar to the post I wrote previously when so many were in an uproar over the Duggars having #17 (yeah, that long ago). There is quite a lot of talk going on about how the doctor should not have 'let her' get pregnant again when she had six children at home. If we begin using a limiting rule for some families, it won't be long before we are right behind China is controlling people's reproduction. But there are also some specific things I think we need to consider in this situation.

First, we need to be thankful that Ms. Suleman was willing to carry her babies, even at the risk of her own life, instead of employing selective reduction. When Jamie Lyn Spears announced her pregnancy, many mommy blogers wrote in her defense because she did not decide to end what most saw as an inconvenience rather than a human life. The same argument applies here. Both women were in less than ideal situations, and thought they made choices we don't agree with, the fact that they did not abort demands our thankfulness.

Secondly, there is something of a double standard when it comes to accepting multiples in America. The McCaughey septuplets were heralded as miracles, and their parents were not publicly attacked for not choosing to reduce. The Gosselin sextuplets were heralded as miracles, and their parents were not publicly attacked for not choosing to reduce. I have seen interviews with both of those families where they were asked if their choice to use fertility treatments was maybe irresponsible because of the risk of so many babies, and both families gave an unequivocal no, because the odds were so, so slim that it was never a consideration. The chances are higher for a woman pregnant with one baby to have complications than for a woman to end up carrying six, seven, or eight viable embryos. It's like saying people are irresponsible for going outside when there is a 1 in 1,000,000,000,000 chance they will be hit by a meteor.

Third, Ms. Suleman did not do anything sneaky or untruthful. The doctor did the procedure. And while many are upset that using 6 embryos was unethical, it would seem this was the same plan they had used for the previous pregnancies. None of those pregnancies produced more than twins, and that only happened once. Even with the chance there that all 6 might develop, no one could forsee two of them splitting into twins. How can we criticize someone for something even the medical community did not see coming? One doctor interviewed for his 'professional criticism' said he never implants more than three embryos, but if you use the same standard he is using to condemn this woman, he is just as irresponsible, because those three could divide into six, which is exactly how many were implanted into Ms. Suleman. Double standard.

Finally, the money for the IVF cycles was earned through working, where Ms. Suleman undoubtedly paid taxes. Why is it so crazy then that she be getting back some of that tax money in the form of support for her children who have special needs? People are willing to pay taxes to create 'special' schools to ship the 'special' kids to, but not to help support the home they live in? I totally don't understand that reasoning. Social Security may not be something we agree with or like, but the fact is that we are paying into it, and so long as it exists, we have a right to use it when we need to.

What it boils down to is this mother is being unfairly attacked because she wants children instead of a lifestyle, she sees many children as a blessing and not a burden, and she is not wealthy. But compare those criteria to the two previous families mentioned with multiples, and they are the same. What gives?

She is single.

And in what has to be the biggest hypocrisy in the news today, the country that told women they did not need men to raise a family has turned on a woman who decided to live just that. "Well, she shouldn't be getting donations because she chose to have the kids". As did the Gosselins and the McCaugheys. Even the media is biased- the same Anne Curry who grilled Ms. Suleman does cheerful yearly updates on the McCaugheys. In reality, the best sponsors for this woman would be the National Partnership for Women and Families, the ACLU, or the National Organization for Women- the very organizations who demanded her right to have children without a partner. But we all know how fickle they are, both demanding protection for that right to chose to be a single mother, and simultaneously expecting every responsible woman to have an abortion in a case such as this. You have to fit into the mold they created.

No, the support should fall to the church as a collective to take in this woman who so valued life as to preserve it at all cost. Churches should be finding a suitable house for this large family and offering not only to be round-the-clock feeding helpers, but also protectors, acting as a shield between the violent world and this young family. No one had a problem doing it for the other miracle babies.

***Just a note, I love both the Gosselins and the McCaugheys and in no way wish to criticize them or the support they were given. I merely think it ought to be just as liberally applied when the circumstances aren't what people want them to be.

Homemade Lysol

2009-01-27T11:12:00.000-08:00

With this being the time of year for sickies, I've been re-examining the stuff I use. Hand sanitizer and antiviral spray are great for times when you cannot easily get to a sink and soap (like at the fair or the zoo) or after using a public restroom (those things are SO not clean). But using them frequently can cause a host of problems, including hampering the ability to fight germs if the alcohol kills the good bacteria in the stomach and mouth. So while I'm not throwing away the sanitizer and I still carry a can of Lysol in the car, I wanted to find something that would work without so many side-effects. I was researching homemade hair treatments- of all things- and came across this tidbit of info about vinegar and peroxide:

Vinegar mixed with hydrogen peroxide (H2O2) is used in the livestock industry to kill bacteria and viruses before refrigerated storage. A chemical mixture of peracetic acid is formed when acetic acid is mixed with hydrogen peroxide. Vinegar is being used in some Asian countries in an aerosol spray to control pneumonia. A mixture of five-percent acetic acid and three-percent hydrogen peroxide is commonly used.

A few years ago we had a group of missionaries come and stay with us, and they brought the rotovirus. I had never experienced it before (or since, hallelujah) and found myself spraying the crib mattresses and the bathtub several times a day with either Lysol or bleach water. Both were offensive to the nostrils (because no matter what kind of fragrance they try to add, that stuff still stinks) and I'm sure a menace to the septic tank and the material being sprayed. Peroxide can discolor some materials, so be cautious, but generally when we're talking about sickie germs, it's the bathroom where they congregate most.

Buy an empty spray bottle and label it so that it does not get used for anything else. Then mix

1 part 5% white vinegar
1 part 3% peroxide
if you want, a few drops of fragrance

Turn the nozzle until it is the finest mist you can get. Spray on surface and allow to sit for 5 minutes. Wipe off if desired (like the toilet seat, not only because no one wants a wet tuchus, but also so you don't get it on clothes and discolor them).

Stupid Books

2009-01-06T13:23:00.000-08:00

I feel like a real heel writing this after Jeannie's supportive comment, but I have promised her to always be truthful about all of it so that she doesn't not go into it blinded like we did. Sometimes I really wish I could turn back time and change the decisions I have made in my life. Most notably (and guilt-causing) is the adoption of the four oldest kids. Nice people don't think that way- or at least they never admit it. What kind of a monster could regret taking on children who so desperately needed them? A monster who is completely wrung out and not even half way done.

When we realized in December that we were at the end of our rope with some of the kids and decided, against everything we believe in, to put them in school, we had a decision to make. Either we warn the teachers what is coming and by default give the kids the sympathy that allows them to get away with everything (as happened every time before) or we say nothing and allow the teachers to think we are just the worst parents possible. We decided on the latter, though we understood there came with it the risk that the teacher would be so concerned as to contact Child Services and there is always that nagging fear that they will remove all the kids while they sort it out. But we knew the other way had reaped only trouble, as the teachers would turn psychiatrist/social worker and try to force on us their opinion of how to parent these kids.

Always the victim, Nellie faked unintelligence on the placement exams, which landed her right back in third grade. I thought finally she was seeing the consequence for her actions, since she was bored already the first week. But she quickly found a way to make it work for her- continue playing dumb and you get special attention from the reading specialist, the math specialist, and the room mother/volunteer. And I know it is pride that made my first concern in all this that the teacher was secretly cursing both of us and homeschooling in general for creating such a dim-witted child. So with that bee in my bonnet, everything that has come up since has perturbed me to an all new level.

There are some Christian marriage guides that I own and have given to others as wedding gifts. I don't agree with everything in all of them, but find enough good to make them worth reading. I never agreed that it was necessary for a marriage to have 'weekend honeymoons' as often as possible. After all, no where in the Bible is there an example of parents leaving their kids with someone else while they took a romantic trip. Thousands of marriages survived without vacations. But when I read it this time, I was livid. Well, isn't that requiring a lot of people who have no one who can and or will care for their children? After all, I sent my boys to my brother's' house for one night last week and have had nothing but problems since. What if you don't have the money to go somewhere? Is your marriage doomed? This idea started to make me so mad I was ready to go toe-to-toe with the author. Or at the very least burn his book.

Then came the whole years-long discussion about moving. We've talked about how it might benefit the kids, but decided it wasn't going to benefit them enough to make it a priority in the decision. Our kids are likely going to turn out the same whether we give them a 'fresh start' or not. Then last night on a show I have started watching, the family announced they were moving and the reason was it was best for the kids. So I'm a selfish hypocrite, am I? Is what's best for the kids really the most important factor in determining the resat of your life? (all rhetorical- this family doesn't even know we exist) One of the hazards of this job is thinking the whole world is out to judge me.

And perhaps I should stop reading altogether, because I found myself weeping over Little House on the Prairie. I allow myself the luxury of reading these books in the winter, when the outside work is limited and there are many dark hours of the day. The way those girls not only respected but obeyed their parents made me jealous and angry at the same time. Why can't kids be like that anymore? Especially when they were rescued out of such evil circumstances? It it simply what Paul prophesied, that kids would be less and less obedient as time drew to a close? Is it all the pressure of society with the 'takes a village' crap and kids knowing the world will intervene on their behalf??? I don't know, but I can never see Nellie acting like Laura Ingalls and it ticks me off. There's a character in the later Little House books, Ida, who is adopted and is so thankful to have a family, she never asks for anything and is always cheerful. Instead, I have the true character we named her after- Nellie.

Down with books and happy endings! Seriously.

PS- at the risk of your own life, do not send me comments about how kids never really behaved that well. I have studied history enough to know what I'm talking about.

Shocked by the Bible is Awesome!

2008-12-31T12:04:00.000-08:00

Laurie is my online BFF, because she always challenges me and leads me to just what I had been searching for. I had not told her of this honor being bestowed upon her before, but now I am making it public because she has saved me so much trouble! Her recommendation of the book Shocked by the Bible interested me, so I ordered it. It was on back order so it has just arrived. I am now going online to order more copies. See, this book covers many, many of the topics I have been trying to hash out (for lack of a better term) with friends and family who are convinced that we have gone off the deep end. Contained within the pages of this book are many truths which I have long believed, with references and wording so precise, I will now just give copies of the book to those who think we are mad (read: legalistic).

For example:
*we sleep when we die rather than going straight to heaven
*Jesus did not declare all meats clean
*Adam and Even did not eat an apple (well, maybe, but the Bible doesn't say apple)
*Jesus made appearances in the OT (good grief- just read the first three chapters of Genesis!)
*Easter is in the Bible, but not how many think
*God was not The Father in the OT (which goes hand in hand with the misconception that we are all God's children)

And then there are some I didn't know (or forgot):
*God gave hemorrhoids as a punishment
*people were resurrected from the dead in the OT
*the Ten Commandments were written on the front and back of the stone tablets
*God has a body

I found the book for $15.63 at Amazon (thought it won't be signed by the author like the one I ordered) and plan to get enough copies to cover the first set of people on my list.

Honest and Up-Front

2008-12-11T19:58:00.000-08:00

Today we found ourselves somewhere I hoped to never be- at the public school, filling out enrollment forms. Not for everyone, but it is still a failure in my eyes. I am completely and fundamentally against public schools. I agree that they are a danger zone for foster/adopted kids, especially. And yet, there I was.

I agree that at this point in time like no other, giving the government control over any aspect of our lives is opening us up for a mess. But we felt backed into a corner. Because some of the kids are still so angry about the adoption, they refuse to do what we ask. Oh, they’re behaved in public because we won’t tolerate anything else. They aren’t even openly defiant at home- they will stare out the window, drooling as if they have no clue what I am talking about. I didn’t really worry about it- I’m a 3 R’s is plenty kind of mom, anyway- as long as they have the basics and can function, I don’t care if they never learn Algebra. I’m also not a worksheet mom or a five-hours-at-the-table mom. The only time I worry about worksheets is when we have to put together portfolios for the certified teacher to go over. But that was one of the problems- for three years now we have had to scramble, beg, and bribe to get the kids to do enough work at the very end of the year to have something to show for it. The teacher was starting to feel uncomfortable signing off when they showed so little progress.

Then we come to the eating- Nellie has been starving herself again, only to go somewhere else and eat like she hasn’t seen food in weeks. The exact same kind of food. She does this to try and control me because it worked before- she got the doctor to question the other kids about discipline and made me a slave by saying I was to give Nellie whatever she wanted, so long as she would eat. We stressed over that because we know the case workers remove all kids from a situation and then ask questions. It would be beyond what I could handle if they took Mags and the two babies just because Nellie was attempting a coup. But because she knows that, she has started using food as a weapon against me by threatening to starve if she doens't get what she wants. Then she makes her face look pitiful and moans a little, and someone verbally attacks me while scurrying to find poor Nellie something to eat. With her initial entrance into school, there is the risk of someone falling for it like just happened to us at our homeschool group. But I am hoping that the excitement and attention of being the new girl will carry her through until the teacher figures her out better, and that will in turn insulate the other kids from her need to rule.

I know that we will be opening our home up to the possibility of swearing, drugs, humanism, and who knows what, but the alternative has left our daughter with constant stomach aches and headaches because of all the stress. We have also lost a whole year on her- I was reminded of a promise I made to her, and I said I would follow through once I got Nellie straightened out. Here we are, a whole year later and nowhere closer to that end. Meanwhile, I have ceased to have a baby in the house and suddenly realize I have a very mature toddler. I no longer see the sense in sacrificing many to save one.

But I think most terrifying is the risk to my marriage. We’ve discussed this problem from the day the kids arrived her nearly 7 years ago, and for the last year Gary has pushed to put the hardest kids in school. I have always managed to talk him out of it, for the above reasons and more. But after another stunt by Nellie this week, we found ourselves screaming at each other in such a tone that I feared for our marriage. He is, after all, my priority both because it is the covenant that we carry with us all of our lives, even after our children are grown and gone, but because if we dissect our oneness, what do the kids have to model their marriages after? I finally had to stop. Just stop and yield. I told him it was his decision and I would support him. And he decided.

I made it to the car after signing all the papers before the tears finally escaped my tight hold on them. All the more heartbreaking was the reactions of the kids in question- one wept bitterly, promising to do whatever we asked in exchange for one more chance. The other two were excited, recalling the fun they had at school when they were there before:

“Remember when we would run up and down the isle of the bus and the driver would have to stop?!”

“My teacher always had a bucket of candy in her desk, and when I would ‘forget’ my lunch money, I would go get it and put the candy in my pocket!”

“If we find some money we can buy candy bars in the lunch room!”

“If you tell the teacher you don’t feel good, she’ll send you to the nurse. Then just tell the nurse it’s because you didn’t get any breakfast and she’ll go get you something to eat form the cafeteria!”

Not only have I failed, I have wasted my time. They may one day realize how great they had it here, but I can’t keep emptying myself trying to reach that end and leaving the other 4 kids with nothing because I’m all wrung out.

Two for One!

2008-12-07T19:28:00.000-08:00

I like to check the clearance racks at K-Mart every few months because they carry lines that tend to be more modest. Unfortunately what I found was a whole lot of skirts for $1 each, but they were sizes 3X and 4X, and they were too short to be modest on me even if I took them in. Still, I thought they were worth it for the material alone, and then suddenly I got one of those light bulb moments (you know, where you say 'Hey!' out loud, and the lady next to you backs away with her eyes as big as saucers).

So I got two of those skirts and brought them home. I turned them inside out and put the oldest two girls in them. Then I pinned them to fit all the way down and sewed them. It took all of 2 minutes. Then I cut off the extra, and fitted them to the younger two girls and pinned and sewed them. Viola! Four skirts. Even if you add a generous 25 cents each for thread and electricity, I still got them for 75 cents each. The girls love them- they wanted to wear them all down as 'under dresses' (I think they meant petticoats). And of course, as is built into the female DNA, as soon as they put them on, they had to twirl!

Reaching Our Kids

2008-11-28T09:59:00.001-08:00

We have had the discussion here and other places about just how to approach salvation in children, as there seems to be an awful lot of 'conversion' going on at VBS that ends up producing no fruit. I have told my children to not raise their hand and say a prayer, but rather when they feel something stirring, come to talk to us. I have known too many adults who struggled with the state of their salvation later.

Berean Wife has an article posted that is the best I have read yet when discussing the way to evangelize children. It is certainly worth the read- if you're busy, print it out and carry it with you to use during a down moment in your schedule. It should be required reading for parents.

The Same Day

2008-11-11T06:16:00.000-08:00

I did not write this because I wanted to have myself a pity party. I wrote it to help those of you who are considering foster/adoption to understand what may be in your future. I was totally blindsided by it, even though I had all the classes. Nobody is this honest in a classroom, especially when they need families so desperately. I'm not telling you not to do it, but just preparing you for what could be. I pray that it's not.
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Have you ever read The Long Winter by Laura Ingalls Wilder? I hadn't read it until a few years ago even though I had read the Little House books a lot when I was young. Somehow it wasn't in the set we were given and I didn't know it existed until we were making a genealogy chart for the library as a homeschool project. Now I read it at least once a winter, if not twice, because it is a reminder of how much I have. We have enough food to feed us, and if we were to run low, there are many ways to get more. I also enjoy the 'snowed in' feeling that winter affords, not having to worry about taking the kids out and having them try their manipulation. But rather than the peaceful break I am expecting, I find myself disgruntled almost immediately.

In the Long Winter book, Laura finds that being snowed in makes every day just like the previous, until time blends into a slow half-waking monotony. She finds every day to be just like another, and soon forgets even what month it is. I can really relate to that feeling, and it isn't just during the 'snowed in' months, but throughout the year, Regardless of what we try to do to make things different, it always feels like the same day. And rather than facing months of blizzards, I am facing years until the 'spring' comes.

Every morning starts the same, with the same kids who have been disciplined for getting out of bed and making a ruckus...getting out of bed and making a ruckus again. Because they cannot be quiet and stay out of others' things, we made a rule that they have to stay in bed until we get up. It's not like they're lying there until 11:30 or something, but they survive on SURPRISINGLY little sleep and as soon as those eyelids fly open, it's time to horse around. So that being awoken in the dark by banging and scratching puts me in a bad frame of mind right away. There are three who have real issues with keeping their hands to themselves, and I don't mean in the tickle and pinch kind of way. I have found them choking one another and tying things around one another's throats. So we have three kids who really need to be in rooms by themselves, plus four other kids and us, and only four bedrooms. The answer is that we are constantly moving people around, building divider walls to try and separate them (which they destroy by boring through the drywall and hurting one another anyway). The result is that the 'angry juices' are already flowing first thing in the morning.

Next comes the bathroom time, which costs a great deal of time. Because one child gets kicks out of using others' toothbrushes just to gross them out and be in control of their emotions, all bathroom time must be supervised. They resent being watched, so they will drag it out, or worse, pretend to have to go just for the attention of me sitting there staring for 20 minutes while other kids jump up and down with their legs crossed in the hallway.

We move on to breakfast, and any meal time is suffering here. We wait to see who will eat what is served and who would rather starve as a means of trying to control. But here it is not a matter of just eat it or go hungry until lunch. One of our kids specializes in getting people to feel sorry for her, so if she doesn't think she's getting enough attention, she'll starve for days and then someone from the general public sees her and freaks out. And as many times as I've tried to explain it to people, they just don't get it. One lady at our co-op went to the directors because she was concerned with the way we were 'treating' this child, both because she had to stand in the corner at school and because we weren't concerned enough over her poison ivy (which she rubber on her face INTENTIONALLY to get her way with sympathy). So we determined she wasn't ready to be in a group setting (after Bren had to help talk me down from sending her to public school just because I didn't want to be around her anymore) and my mom was available, so she stayed there (which doesn't happen very often but I was desperate). Turns out she ate like a horse, and it was all the foods she's been refusing to eat here. Of course.

Then it's on to school and the 'who wants to play dumb' game. Some days they are into it and fly through things so fast I can't keep up. Other days they are perfectly content to stare out the window and pretend the work is in Chinese. We take a break for recess, and then I have to pull out my metal list of who is grounded and who isn't, because the tire swing and riding bikes are off limits to those in trouble. This is also when I am most likely to fight with Bubby. He's a good boy, but his mental capabilities have been severely affected by fetal alcohol. We had to take him out of the speech/physical/occupational therapies he was in after the adoption because the county is in the middle of a transition, so Medicaid is still in his old name and wouldn't cover services (and yes, we have spent hours on the phone trying to rectify it, but until the county computer gets completely updated, there's nothing they can do). So taking what he did in therapy and what I know just as his mom, I make him do some therapy...which he hates. Some days he's compliant, some days he cries the whole time, and some days he falls into a crumpled heap on the ground and refuses to move. He isn't trying to be trouble, but he doesn't understand that by this point I've had all the stress anybody needs for a day.

Then after lunch is lay-down time. I generally look for something at his point to steel me, like a Bible verse or praise on someone's blog. But when some of the kids fall asleep, others silently go through their drawers and eat chapstick, steal stickers, or use a sibling's sock as either a handkerchief or toilet paper (another reason I will not do reusable tissues or TP unless it's absolutely necessary- they don't need permission to do it once or they'll do it forever). So half the time after-nap is spent disciplining again.

Then it's time to try and get some cleaning done. It is so hard to clean up after 9 people when only 2 of them can be trusted to help. Totally aggravating. But in order to make the others work, I have to stand over them, they move at snail's pace out of rebellion, and my entire day is gone. So they generally stand in the middle of the kitchen (out of reach of any food) while I work around them. By dinner time, I am spent. It's all I can do to get the food served without falling asleep. The dishes generally go in the sink for morning, and we head off to bed. I had tried putting them to bed and working for a while afterward, but because I was at the other end of the house, they would get up and go in my room to steal things, or try to strangle one another, or play in the bathroom until there was a flood. It's just easier to go to bed when they do so I can keep an ear of them. And after 5 hours' sleep, they're raring to go again. The same day over and over.

I used to make appointments for myself to get a break, since Gary gets to get out of here on a daily basis. I would plan to go to the movies every 6 or 8 weeks. They have a Tuesday special, and afterward I would go to McDonald's and get the chicken strip meal (with Buffalo sauce and coffee, of course). But I can't leave the house anymore, because those same three kids have started really taking advantage of Gary's near deafness and have pulled some really dangerous things with him just two rooms away because they know he can't hear them. It also doesn't work to get babysitters, because no babysitter is savvy enough for these kids. Our son told the babysitter once that he needed to go throw up and wanted to be alone, so he went in our room and shut the door. He went through our dressers and stole money and also broke my big jewelry box (a gift from my darling that meant a LOT) so we don't hire babysitters. It also doesn't work to send them elsewhere, because they get so wound up by being given free reign that they are uncontrollable when they get home.

So now I am a prisoner in this cycle that never ends. Every day is the same. I can't go anywhere without the kids, and when I take them somewhere, somebody interferes and we end up at home again, anyway.

Large Family Wisdom

2008-11-04T12:29:00.000-08:00

I don't have the slightest idea how to embed a banner, so you'll just have to settle for an old-fashioned link. If you have any tips, share them. If you don't, there's lots of great idea booty up for grabs. ;)

Homemade Chili Podwer

2008-11-03T14:01:00.000-08:00

I've always made my chili 'from scratch', though in the beginning I used canned kidney beans and later canned chili beans. When we discovered Mag's sensitivity to soy, we had to switch to dry beans. As time goes on, we seem to get deeper and deeper into the meaning of made from scratch, both because of hidden food ingredients that can cause an allergic person to become very ill, and because we are working toward being self sufficient.

Making-it-from-Scratch Monday

Homemade Chili Powder
dried chili peppers, ground

This is so ridiculously simple it is almost not worth posting, but sometimes the simple things still scare us because we're sure they must be complicated. You can make chili powder from any dried hot peppers, though cayennes and Tabascos do make a really nice powder. Around here the food dehydrator gets used nonstop during the harvest season, so I thread my chili's on lines to air dry. Then when needed, throw a few in the spice mill (which is a $10 coffee mill that I bought during the holiday sales last year) or use a mortar and pestle (which I love, but I think I love owning more than using it!). My old chili recipe is here and here's a wheat-free cornbread. I love soup weather!

A Real Haunted House

2008-11-02T13:22:00.000-08:00

I've been silent on the topic of Halloween. There are three major opinions in the world of Christians- to celebrate it and therefore take away its power, to celebrate it in a completely different way, or not to touch it because it is not only pagan in origin but glorifies demons and their master. I've run the gamut of emotions on this one, from looking forward to trick-or-treat as a kid, to disapproving highly of the candy as a mother of kids with food issues (and specifically candy issues), to thinking it was a horrible thing for any believer to be involved in because of the anti-biblical meaning of it. Still, I didn't share my opinion on it much because it seemed to be a matter of contention and everybody was talking but no one was listening. This year, however, I decided to share a completely different view on the whole topic because there are just so many people who have no idea.

picture deleted

This is a picture of my oldest daughter. If you have read my site much, you know she came to us at the age of 6 as a foster child. We went through a 2 year case plan where the stated goal was to return her (and her 3 siblings) to their parents. Everything was headed in that direction, including weekend visits with their mom, when it all fell through and they ended up in the permanent custody of the state. Obviously, we adopted them. It has been 4 years since our finalization, so they have been here a total of 6 years.

Now, look over her right shoulder and you will see a trailer. That trailer is where she lived when she was taken into care. It wasn't in the field next door then- it was on a pad down the road and around the corner from us. Her father was renting it from our neighbor who has about 12 trailers as a source of income. Shortly after she was brought here and her father taken to jail, the trailer was moved to this corn field as it was no longer habitable. And there it sits.

Every day for 6 years, she has had to look across the fence at the house where her innocence was stolen. Every day she has been reminded of what was done to her that she could not control or get away from. It is, in reality, her own personal haunted house. It was a prison, a cage, in which she was made to act a wife and mother while still just a baby. Sometimes she has victorious moments over it, recalling the rescue that brought her to us forever and how Yahweh used that move to introduce himself to her through her foster/adoptive parents. Sometimes it is a scar that cannot be soothed. She will point to a window and say, "That was the living room." And in the silence I recall the horrors she has told me that were done to her there, in that 12X8 hell. She is not the only one who remembers and is affected, but as the oldest she bore the brunt of the atrocities.

People often argue with me that dressing up and going out are good, clean fun that would help the kids to 'get over' the traumas of their previous home. Those poor fools don't have the slightest idea what they're talking about. My kids have faced real demons. They were trapped in a haunted house for years only to have it parked right next to them once they escaped. They had men in masks molesting them so as to avoid being identified. Glorifying all that is evil in the world would be a slap in the face. It would be downplaying what happened to them and what is happening to others this very minute. And that is why we don't celebrate Halloween- we're living it every day through the evil seared into the memories of our children.

A Year of Grace

2008-10-25T11:36:00.001-07:00

Yesterday we had a really fun day. It was movie day in both of my classes at our homeschool co-op (which was good because I had no voice!). I made the kids popcorn and they all seemed to really enjoy the movie (both classes watched the same movie because it was relevant to both lessons). Then we went on a field trip to a neighbor's corn maze, which was such a blast! We had a hay ride and the kids got to climb on the round bales (though I can't figure out the lure of that since we do both at home). After the field trip some of our co-op friends followed us home and the kids all played on the swings while the adults talked. It was such a blessing because there is a family that I have been meaning to get to know better, and they were here. We made everyone hot cocoa and the kids gave a tour of the home farm (the stuff by the house- not the entire farm!).

When our friends left, we came in and had a cake and watched a movie. The cake was a celebration of the 1 year anniversary of the finalization of adoption with our two youngest. I thought about that year and how different it was compared to our other experiences. The year after finalization with our oldest kids was horribly hard and sad and just so much work because it was a realization for them that they were never going home. It was such a bad year, I gained 50 lbs because the only way I could handle that constant deep pain was to medicate it with food. Even then I hadn't learned to fully lean on the Father. It was also a year of transition because as their parents, we had legal rights to do as we saw best, so they were withdrawn from public school and brought home. It was a hard adjustment on everybody. It was just a difficult year no matter how you looked at it.

This year, though, has been a year of grace. There have still been the everyday bumps, but not the long, hard transition we faced before. I often remark to Gary that our baby was the grace after so many years of turmoil. Aside from a few small medical concerns, she has been just like we had born her ourselves. She knows no other parents. She has no emotional baggage or disorders. She's just a breath of fresh air after all those years of feeling like we were drowning. Don't get me wrong, she's a ball of energy and gets into so much mischief you'd swear she had to have help. But this year has been blessedly 'normal'. Even with bubby, who does remember some things and has so many residual physical affects of what happened to him, we transitioned without a pause because he was young when we got him and he had been here so long already that it was just all he knew.

I feel like Job, after the testing, when he received ten times what he'd had before. Sometimes the crowns in store for us at the end of the race are presented before we expect them. ;)

"But by the grace of God I am what I am: and his grace which was bestowed upon me was not in vain..." 1 Corinthians 15:10

Dr. Mom's Natural Remedies

2008-10-23T15:48:00.000-07:00

Many of us are interested in do-it-yourself anyway. I have dreamed of living like Laura Ingalls did since I was a girl. But now it is less of a dream and more of a necessity, both for secular and spiritual reasons. Having awaken yesterday to my first sore throat and plugged up nose of the season, I though about those great old home remedies. And because I love it when others share (I end up learning so much!) I thought I’d share my list.

Homemade Medicines

Homemade Cough Drops- OK, I read a medical article once about cough drops (don’t ask- really long day and nothing else to read). The point is that you can’t cough and swallow at the same time. It is also true that true sugar syrup in cough drops will coat the throat as is dissolves and is swallowed. That is why many throat drops are just sugar and flavoring. You can get cough drops with menthol in them, which helps to open the throat and make breathing easier. It also slightly numbs the throat, suppressing the urge to cough. So you can take a candy recipe like this one and make it whatever flavor or herbal infusion you like (and use whatever sweetener you prefer), or you can add in some spearmint oil or menthol if you can afford it!. Be very careful with essential oils and use only a tiny amount!

Homemade Cough Syrup- This one is really easy. Mix lemon juice, honey, and water into a syrup and store in the fridge. Just like cough drops, the real effect comes from the coating of the throat. A cough that does not originate in the lungs comes from the phlegm in the throat benign disturbed. The best thing to do is get rid of it. Meanwhile, something sticky will help to smooth it back down. And unlike medicines, you can’t really take too much of this (though you might take enough to make you vomit!)

Homemade Tinctures- There is a whole field of study on this, and I’m not going to even attempt to cover it here. Julie has some great recipes and links. The only thing I would add (and it may be in there already) is not to buy your herbs at the grocery store if you can help it. Frontier sells them online, and they are of medicinal quality. With something like this, look for the company that does only one thing and does it well.

Homemade Decongestants-My favorite decongestant is the Spearmint/Peppermint Tea from Mint Brook Meadows. It is so strong, it clears me right up. It is also not something you can overdose on! There are many Chinese and Indian spices that will help to clear the sinuses. Wasabi comes to mind, which I love on my sushi. Horseradish will also do the trick. Onions can help, too. Think of something that makes your eyes water, and then try it.

Homemade Poultices-A poultice can help when you have really congested lungs. The old standard was a mustard plaster, but I found this mom’s recipe for a less odd smelling one and it sounds great!

Homemade Antibiotics- The best anti-germ foods I have heard of are onion and garlic. Raw is best because it is fully potent. In the winter when we have tea every morning, I dice up a garlic clove and mix it with honey on a spoon. Down the hatch. I got that idea from Heather and it really does work both as a preventative and as a cure.

Homemade lip balm-- take some beeswax or coconut oil and add a few drops of olive oil. If you want, you can add essential oils, though be aware that oils will burn when applied to really chapped lips. It is better to apply this before going out and therefore prevent the chapped lips altogether.

Homemade lotions-- Use coconut oil, olive oil, or grapeseed oil for really rough spots. Right now we use this, because we can get it wholesale through our co-op. We’ve never tried anything better. Having a natural lotion is also a must for us because some of our kids would lick the lotion off their hands because it smelled like something good. It is also reassuring to me knowing what is on their hands is natural since we wash hands many times during the day to prevent spreading germs. I would hate to use something chemically over and over on anybody, let alone babies!

Disinfecting and Preventing

Hands- Wash, wash., wash those hands. Make sure to get under the finger nails and the backs of the hands too, since these are very germ prone. I do not recommend antibacterial soap, both because it dries you out faster, and because it kills anything. It is also good when anybody has the sniffles to wash their face at least three times a day. Kids have a tendency to schmear when they wipe their noses, and that stuff is sitting there looking for somebody to contaminate.

Hot water- this is an age-old way to handle sickness, and it works. Not only do I put my dishes through the dishwasher with a hot rinse to help prevent spreading germs, I also assign colors (cups, bowls, plastic silverware) for use throughout the year, so that if two forks are sitting side by side on the table, we know who’s is who’s. We do generally spray the tub with bleach once a day when there is sickness going around. A mild solution will still work well. Allow to sit for 10 minutes and then rinse with very hot water.

Bodily fluids- There is a reason Yah told us LONG ago to wash in running water and to keep sick people away from others. Most illnesses are spread through bodily fluids, be it from one end or the other (yuck, I know). This is when I do agree with buying disposable. We stock up on cheap tissues and toilet paper, because were we to use cloth for these, I would not only have a mountain of washing during an epidemic, but it can also spread to the laundress of the day. My opinion is that into the paper and into the trash is worth the cost to keep the germs at bay. If you absolutely cannot buy paper, many dollar stores do still sell handkerchiefs for about 25 cents a piece. These can be washed in bleachy, hot water. I would recommend marking each with the owner’s name and not allowing borrowing.

Airing out a sick house- It used to be the custom to whitewash a house of sick people. The lime in the paint was a disinfectant. We whitewashed the inside of our barn annually until we sold the cows. But that is not a really practical solution anymore for houses. A doctor once told me you should open up your windows for 15 minutes a day regardless of the weather. It also helps if you have infusers or a vaporizer that can spread menthol or lavender oils in the air. The oil attaches itself to the germs and either kills them or makes them heavy enough that they fall to the floor.

Sick Foods

Chicken broth is known as a sick food for good reason. It helps to heal the body as well as provide a readily absorbed source of calories. If you are not sick to the stomach, adding vegetables can make it a hearty lunch.

Here’s Dr. Weil’s recipe for garlic broth, which oddly enough was in my inbox this morning (daily recipe mail). I’m linking because he has more info about garlic on this page.

Ginger ale does settle the stomach better than plain water because of the ginger. Sometimes carbonation helps as well, but most ginger-ale from the store is corn syrup and artificial flavoring. Carla Emery has a recipe for brewing your own pop, and many health food stores have their own versions, but you can make it cheaper at home. Keep a supply of carbonated water on hand (club soda, seltzer water, etc, preferably in small cans rather than a large bottle) and cook up a batch of ginger syrup. There is also a recipe for ginger water in the Little House Cookbook that uses vinegar and brown sugar.

Another kind of drink that is good for sickness is a tonic. If you can get a hold of some raspberry shrub or montmorency cherry syrup, mixing these with carbonated water makes a very light drink that has a LOT of vitamin C as well as the many medicinal properties of these fruits. I get mine here, and if you look under the concentrates section, they discuss the cherry. They also have a ginger syrup I haven’t tried yet. Eggnog is good when the trouble isn’t in the stomach. And of course teas can be both a drink and a medicine, as discussed previously.

Popsicles were one of our favorites growing up, especially for sore throats. When we had our tonsils out, we had heard the whole ‘all the popsicles and ice cream you want’ rumor, but it wasn’t true. Ice cream, made of milk, would cause phlegm, so we couldn’t have any. We were allowed all the popsicles we wanted, but they had to be banana because other flavors would discolor the throat and make it hard to tell if we were bleeding. But even banana are often corn syrup, artificial flavors, and dyes. Instead, freeze some fruit juice or ginger ale in an ice cube tray covered in plastic. That way you can stick a toothpick in each square. You can also buy popsicle molds. I have the Tupperware set my mom bought years ago. These smaller portion pops are good for littles. Big kids can always have 2.

Salt- It is strange that salt settles the stomach, but that’s the trick behind saltines. With stomach illness, it is actually better to avoid starches when possible. So just swallow a pinch of salt. This works well for breaking up mucous in the throat, too, as that stuff consist of salt and water at a very thick ratio. Salt followed by lots of fluids break it up easily.

Anybody got an old time remedy they'd like to share?

Pumpkin Recipes

2008-10-21T14:32:00.000-07:00

Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the kitchen.....

Attack of the killer Pumpkins!

With the apples and processed out of the way, the table just didn't look right. So we loaded it with pumpkins. We had offered to clean out a nephew's pumpkin patch so we could use the leftovers for chicken feed. But we found some really nice gems hiding under leaves and grass, so I am going to bake and process them and roast the seeds for eating. Pumpkin seeds are one of the BEST foods you can eat. And you can't beat free! It seems a poetic justice since my pumpkins were killed by my chickens when I couldn't keep them in their yard.

Also, people think you absolutely cannot eat carving pumpkins. Wrong. First, there used to only be one ind of pumpkin. The new strains grown specifically for pies have a higher sugar content, but you can sweeten any pumpkin puree for pie filling (plus they're less likely to be genetically engineered). I'm going to try drying some as well, which is what the Indians did with them. Then they put them in stews.

So, a day late, but...

Making-it-from-Scratch Monday

Sausage Pumpkin Soup
1 gallon stock (mine was beef because we just had a pot roast)
1/2 cup barley
1/2 cup rice
2 cups apple juice or cider
1 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp ginger
1/3 cup honey or sugar
1 tsp (or more if you love it like me) nutmeg
1 small butternut or 2 cups cubed pumpkin

Dump it all in the crockpot and go to bed. In the morning, turn it on low and cook until squash is soft. To serve, I ladled into my new anniversary dishes (more about that later) and topped with sliced venison sausage and coconut. The kids adored it.

Still the One

2008-10-17T15:04:00.000-07:00

10 years. It doesn't seem like long, yet my life before is a fading memory.

In that time we have been through the death of two parents and nearly a third, sold our herd of cows, had a baby, built a house, adopted 6 kids, three major health crisis, one court fight, more broken cars/appliances/plumbing/electrical than I care to remember, and a continual changing in our spiritual direction.

The funny thing is, when we got married we already felt like it was us against the world. Everybody was really against it at first. I was 22, he was 42. People kept saying it wouldn't work (except my dad, and he was the one person besides Gary that I really wanted on my side). So for our wedding, we picked Shania Twain's Still the One. It's amazing how much more it means now.

Still the One
Looks like we made it
Look how far we've come my baby
We mighta took the long way
We knew we'd get there someday

They said, "I bet they'll never make it"
But just look at us holding on
We're still together still going strong

You're still the one I run to
The one that I belong to
You're still the one I want for life
You're still the one that I love
The only one I dream of
You're still the one I kiss good night

Ain't nothin' better
We beat the odds together
I'm glad we didn't listen
Look at what we would be missin

They said, "I bet they'll never make it"
But just look at us holding on
We're still together still going strong

You're still the one I run to
The one that I belong to
You're still the one I want for life
You're still the one that I love
The only one I dream of
You're still the one I kiss good night

I'm so glad we made it
Look how far we've come my baby

The Bible and Bread

2008-10-16T14:20:00.000-07:00

In the discussion about the Bible and milk, Jenn asked a very good question- what grains did people eat for bread most often in the Bible? It was a great question because I knew about it! It’s also a great question because it plays right into prophecy about the Son of Man.

Many grains are mentioned in the Bible, but the two most common are wheat and barley. Wheat was more expensive, so barley was the staple grain of all but the wealthiest families. It’s hard to imagine now when we live in a time and place where bread is so cheap and plentiful, but consider the prophecy from Revelation 6:6 that one measure of wheat or three measures of barley would cost about a day’s wages. Wheat is also much more susceptible to disease and weather, as was witnessed by last year’s shortage.

In Exodus 29:2, it was wheat flour that was used in the ceremony to consecrate the priests. Wheat makes a finer flour and a smoother loaf than does barley, so it would suit that the best was used for this special event. Yet another festival that is all about bread, Passover and the accompanying Days of Unleavened Bread, requires only that the bread be unleavened. It does not specify a kind of grain. Interestingly, the time of the Passover meal coincided with the barley harvest.

In Ezekiel 4:9, we see a recipe for the kind of bread to be eaten during the prophet’s symbolic paralysis that was to parallel the future of Israel. This bread was made by mixing barley and wheat as well as lentils, millet, beans, and spelt. The interesting thing is that rather than just a single-grained bread, even the poor man’s barley, this bread has multiple ingredients. There are many ideas as to why Yahweh gave this recipe (to symbolize the famine brought on by siege, to symbolize that the rich and poor and everyone in between would suffer, etc.) but it is worth noting that spelt is easier to digest, and often those with only a wheat allergy and not a complete gluten intolerance can eat it without any trouble.

Because Yeshua was a poor man, saying once that he didn’t even really have a home (Matthew 8:20), he would most likely have eaten barley bread the majority of the time. He was also often accompanied by others who needed to eat, and feeding a crowd would likely rule out wheat breads. We know for sure once instance when he was feeding a large group and he used barley loaves:

“When Jesus then lifted up his eyes, and saw a great company come unto him, he saith unto Philip, Whence shall we buy bread, that these may eat? And this he said to prove him: for he himself knew what he would do. Philip answered him, Two hundred pennyworth of bread is not sufficient for them, that every one of them may take a little. One of his disciples, Andrew, Simon Peter's brother, saith unto him, There is a lad here, which hath five barley loaves, and two small fishes: but what are they among so many? And Jesus said, Make the men sit down. Now there was much grass in the place. So the men sat down, in number about five thousand. And Jesus took the loaves; and when he had given thanks, he distributed to the disciples, and the disciples to them that were set down; and likewise of the fishes as much as they would. When they were filled, he said unto his disciples, Gather up the fragments that remain, that nothing be lost. Therefore they gathered them together, and filled twelve baskets with the fragments of the five barley loaves, which remained over and above unto them that had eaten.“ John 6:5-13

For the sake of space I won’t put down every verse with the word barley or wheat in it (barley- 35 times, wheat- 52 times), but if you check it online, you’ll see barley was most often mentioned as an everyday, anybody bread.

Now, as to prophecy and the Son of Man and how that relates to bread. I remember hearing this first a few years ago when a speaker from Chosen People Ministries came to our church. I was so amazed and overwhelmed by the symbolism in absolutely everything Yah has ever done, my only reaction was tears.

The Feast of Firstfruits (Lev. 23) was when a sheaf of barley was brought into the temple and waved by the priest. This was kinda asking Yah’s blessing on the harvest by bringing Him the first of the barley as an offering.

The spring schedule of feasts goes like this: first is Passover on the 14th, then the Days of Unleavened Bread start the 15th, and the Feast of Firstfruits is the 16th, all right in a row without a day off. Yeshua fulfilled all the spring feast with his first coming, and will fulfill the fall feast with his second coming. But that still isn’t quite as clear unless you study these things in-depth. So we’ll look at the comparisons-

*Yeshua’s death as a sacrifice was fulfilled in Passover. He became the Passover lamb for us once for all by allowing those with His blood upon them to be passed over by death, the wages of sin (of which we are all guilty).

*Yeshua’s burial fulfilled the Days of Unleavened Bread. We know yeast, or leaven, was compared to sin many times in the Bible. Leaven is a symbol for sin, and during the Days of Unleavened Bread, we are to get rid of all leaven from among us, the way Yeshua was hidden from us when he was in the grave for three days and three nights. His burial is the symbolic burying of sin.

*Yeshua’s resurrection fulfilled the Feast of Firstfruits, when He was put before the Father as an offering on our behalf. He was the choicest of the fruit of the womb, the spotless and perfect offering required by the Father. He is referred to many times as the firstborn of the Sons of G-d, or the first fruit.

But there’s more. 50 days after the Feast of Firstfruits comes Shavuot, or the Feast of Weeks (known in Greek as Pentecost). This is the day traditionally used by the Israelites to commemorate the giving of the law to Moses. Yeshua fulfilled this one, too. He fulfilled the requirements of the law for us, and on the Pentecost after His resurrection he gave to us the key to the new covenant- the Holy Spirit, whom the Father told us long before would be the way He would write his law on our hearts.

So that’s my short answer to what the Bible has to say about bread. It is not only a primary food source but also a frequently used symbolic image for so many different things. There’s the mystery bread called manna that the Father sent from the heavens every day when the Israelites were wandering in the wilderness, the symbolism of the Last Supper in which Yeshua tells us that the bread is his body that would be broken for us, and the coming together of the churches to break bread as a way of building their intimacy with one another and the Father.

But this is my favorite:
“For the bread of God is he which cometh down from heaven, and giveth life unto the world.’ Then said they unto him, Lord, evermore give us this bread. And Jesus said unto them, ‘I am the bread of life: he that cometh to me shall never hunger; and he that believeth on me shall never thirst.” John 6:33-35

Amen. Come, Lord, quickly.

Sukkot

2008-10-16T11:12:00.000-07:00

"Speak unto the children of Israel, saying, The fifteenth day of this seventh month shall be the feast of tabernacles for seven days unto the LORD. On the first day shall be an holy convocation: ye shall do no servile work therein. Seven days ye shall offer an offering made by fire unto the LORD: on the eighth day shall be an holy convocation unto you; and ye shall offer an offering made by fire unto the LORD: it is a solemn assembly; and ye shall do no servile work therein." Leviticus 23:34-36

Finally! Blogger would not let me on to my own site for 2 days, so only my scheduled posts got up. Turns out when I ran the C-drive cleaner, it erased a lot of threads that connect bloglines and the blogs that are listed. I think something similar happened to my own blog link.

I only have one picture to share this year. Since we are sans a tent, it's a camp-in. It has also been a very rough time as the militant child is in a downward spiral again. It's hard to resign yourself to it just being the way it is, but the joy of the festivities has been pretty well sucked out for me.

We took back the popcorn balls and caramel apples from the Halloweeners. We're also thinking of taking a quick weekend trip, so that would count, too, right?

Wise Counsel and Diet

2008-10-14T09:00:00.000-07:00

When it comes to food, what is the right answer?

I have run into this kind of discussion more than once lately and had a few things I wanted to add. There are so many different opinions on what we should be eating and they can easily become overwhelming. So how do we figure it out?

We can all agree that the OT has explicit lists of things to eat and not to eat, correct? Whether you believe that has been done away with or not, you agree it's there. It was either OK, or it was not. There wasn't a grey area when it came to the scriptures and food. Now to a specific topic I have seen lately- milk. Double Nickel had a post about it (and I'm not picking on her here, it just happened to be at her place that I found the best link to the discussion). The premise of it being whether or not we should be drinking milk from other animals.

Aside from the debate about organic/non-organic, or hormone free versus milk factory products, it was stated that humans are the only animal that consume another animal's breast milk. I have heard that argument several times before, that it is not meant for us, and consuming it causes a host of problems (and again, I'm not picking on anybody here, just using that example).

I agree that what is done to our foods, and specifically milk, is not only crazy but has lasting and dire consequences. But I also know that God designed our bodies to process milk and He gave it to us as a food source:

He then brought some curds and milk and the calf that had been prepared, and set these before them. While they ate, he stood near them under a tree. Genesis 18:8

So I have come down to rescue them from the hand of the Egyptians and to bring them up out of that land into a good and spacious land, a land flowing with milk and honey..Exodus 3:8

...Do not cook a young goat in its mother's milk. Exodus 23:19

He made him ride on the heights of the land and fed him with the fruit of the fields. He nourished him with honey from the rock, and with oil from the flinty crag, with curds and milk from herd and flock and with fattened lambs and goats...Deuteronomy 32:13-14

They also brought wheat and barley, flour and roasted grain, beans and lentils, honey and curds, sheep, and cheese from cows' milk for David and his people to eat. For they said, "The people have become hungry and tired and thirsty in the desert. 2 Samuel 17:28-29

You will have plenty of goats' milk to feed you and your family and to nourish your servant girls. Proverbs 27:27

....and there are many more- just find a Bible concordance and look up the word milk.

These aren't even the implied kinds of instructions in the Bible- it is explicitly stated that milk and its byproducts are for our consumption.

Now, I understand and completely agree that there is a huge increase in the number of people who are either lactose intolerant or completely dairy allergic (I am one of them). But I see that as a result of the fall and continual corruption of everything on earth (which is why even the ground cries out for deliverance). There is also a great increase in wheat allergies and gluten intolerance, but that doesn't mean God did not intend for us to eat grains. Sin causes everything to deteriorate, including our bodies and their ability to gain nourishment from foods. What might be a perfectly tolerable food source for someone else might cause us to become ill. THAT is what I believe is meant by verses like:

All things are lawful for me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but all things edify not. 1 Corinthians 10:23

Therefore do not let anyone judge you by what you eat or drink...Colossians 2:16

Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils; Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron; Forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from meats, which God hath created to be received with thanksgiving of them which believe and know the truth. 1 Timothy 4:1-3

Every one is certainly entitled to skip the dairy if they so chose. There are also people who cannot eat meat because of stomach issues. What bothers me is the attitude that we were never meant to consume it. Clearly the scriptures say otherwise. Mankind has made up many 'traditions' that are taught as 'doctrine' when it comes to our diets. I remember liking the diet guru of the day, Susan Powter, because she promoted legumes and whole foods. But because her sons were severely allergic to milk, she agreed with the evolutionists that we have only started to consume other animals' milk in very recent times. Completely contrary to scriptures.

Then there is the issue of eating Biblically kosher. I understand that some read the verses in the NT to mean we can eat whatever we want now, and I'm not going to get into that again here, but it confounds me that the same people who promote the freedom to eat pork and shellfish are condemning others for consuming milk and cheese. Completely confounds me (again, not the attitude taken by the ladies in this discussion, but elsewhere).

Too many people who call themselves Christians are totally ignoring the Bible and following what man has determined is right. Just as the Spirit prophesied.

Breakfast Tacos

2008-10-13T16:37:00.000-07:00

I've never had a breakfast burrito, but my husband has and he said they were OK. Well, I have put him as well as Mags on the gluten-free diet because the more I learn about it, the more I believe that's the source of the problem. That man sneezes six times when eating a bowl of raisin bran! Not to mention the tummy aches and other..issues.. so I decided to try my own version of it with corn tortillas.

Making-it-from-Scratch Monday

Breakfast Tacos
corn tortillas (yours or boughten)
onions
peppers
salsa
sour cream
eggs

Start by dicing the onions and peppers (I use two dishes because some like it hot, and some are wimps). For each taco, saute a spoonful of peppers until soft, adding onion about the middle so they don't burn. Then pour a scrambled egg over the pepper mix and scramble like regular. On a different griddle (or in the oven) warm a tortilla. Place the eggs mix on the tortilla and top as desired. My darling tried it with a leftover piece of turkey bacon and said it rocked! Apparently the corn lends its own flavor as well, so I am way better than McDonald's.

The picture is of my serving. I am going without carbs, so I just got eggs with bacon and hot peppers. It was tolerable. I said once that it would be great if it weren't for the eggs!

Homemade Vinegar

2008-10-06T15:44:00.000-07:00

With all these apples, we have several projects going on at once. Today I had the three middle girls washing apples, the oldest cutting and cooking for apple butter, the boy juicing, and I was looking for the best to cut into rings for drying. Also part of the plan is to use every part of the apple, so we make vinegar from the cores and the pulp left after juicing. Finally, the excess pulp and apple bits left from vinegar are fed to the chickens. The chickens give us eggs and fertilizer (and eventually meat). Full circle sustainability.

Making-it-from-Scratch Monday

Apple Cider Vinegar
apple peels, cores, pulp, whatever
some kind of sugar
water

Use a crock or glass jar. This is like kombucha or fermented vegetables- metal reacts and plastic absorbs. Place your apple bits, water, and sugar in. I didn't measure anything, just made sure to leave heads space to accommodate bubbling. Stir. Cover with cheese cloth. Stir once a week. First it will smell like wine, then it will smell like vinegar. I took mine out today after about 3 weeks, and it smells so great! It's a slow process, unlike store vinegar, but the results are worth it. I have a three gallon crock, and in the end I got a gallon and a pint of vinegar.

Incidentally (and because it's my blog ;) here is a picture of my darling. He was gone today doing honor guard at the funeral of their former fire chief. George had also been friends with Gary's dad and farmed many, many years ago. He is one of the last of their generation left around here, so the attendance was more than half firemen, but it was still something he felt honored to do. I don't know, though- looking at him makes me feel like I'm gonna burst into flames! I'm probably his #1 customer!