Gnosis For All

The Role of a Leader

2008-10-12T17:31:00.000-07:00

I have a very insignificant job, very unenlightening, and very outside the realm of any real influence in the world. However, it, like any other position in any other occupation, has its own culture and its own world of devotees.

I am a field manager for the company I work with, meaning that I run one of the retail locations that it operates. I'm the boss. I'm the guy people talk about when they're alone, and the guy people all try to be good friends with. I'm the guy that gets to solve the world's problems by taking care of business in my own little sphere of influence.

I've noticed a slight change in attitude in myself as I've grown more comfortable with my position. At first, I was a real go-getter - no one would stop me from being the best, most reliable, most dedicated, highest grossing nobody that company would ever see. And I succeeded in making a good image around me, though I may have fell short of my rather ambitious goals above. But I was always engaged, not caring who I ran over or pushed out of the way to get where I was going. After all, I had to be the best because I wanted to raise a family some day. I wanted to make the money.

Now, my attitude has evolved. I'm still in it for the support of my family - they are almost solely the reason I work so hard now. But there is another aspect of my job that has grown on me, and has caused me to reach within myself and strive to not only work hard, but to make myself an example for others.

I enjoy being a leader. Not just a manager, or a boss - but a leader. There are those, for whatever reason, who actually look up to me. There are those who actually listen to my opinions and emulate them. There are those that look to me as though I have all the answers, and I feel ashamed if I let them down. I actually care that these people see me as the go-to guy. I refer to them often as "my guys", as opposed to "my employees" or my "coworkers". The team that I've built is an important aspect and reflection of myself. "My guys" help define who I am in this alternative universe of Joe that I refer to as "work".

Many people see their boss as someone they have to be weary or suspicious around. There's always a negative connotation when people speak of their bosses. But with me, I honestly feel there's a different connection. There's a trust, a team effort, and the things I see people do I actually feel that they do them so that I'll look good, not them. There seems to be an almost symbiotic relationship that we all share.

Don't get me wrong, I'm sure there's a few bad apples in the bunch. No one is 100% popular.

However, I feel that this newly realized attitude towards my position at my job helps to even further define my role outside of my work life. At work, I'm father-figure, therapist, referee, goalie, cheerleader, bouncer, and protector. At home, with friends, I feel that I am the same - and I believe those lessons have been learned through my job.

I enjoy my job because of the people that I'm around. It's not the drive for personal success that keeps me going at the job now. It's the drive to show that others can be just as successful. I enjoy my work, because I feel that I have lessons that I can teach others to help them succeed. The benefits of those feelings, the feelings that I can actually do good for other people, far outweigh the feelings of individual accomplishment.

Dear Abba

2008-10-12T06:19:00.000-07:00

Dear Abba,

Hello, Father. I realize it's been a while since we last spoke, but I hope you don't think that's because I haven't wanted to. I've been tied up lately with the family, my job, and a new area.

I've thought about you from time to time, but I've been thinking a lot about you lately. I can't seem to get you out of my mind now, but I'm really not trying to. I'd like to pick our relationship back up again, but with so much time apart, I feel that I have to re-learn who you are. I hope this doesn't offend you, as this is not my intent. But with so much time separating us, I feel I have no other choice.

I realize this could be a little hard to accept, with me just trying to walk back into your life. But this has been the nature of our relationship for as long as I can remember. I'd walk out on a limb, start to fall, and ask for your help. It's almost as if you've reminded me that I don't always keep up my end of the bargain in this relationship. And I really hate feeling like the only time we talk is when I need something from you. I'm concerned that you might feel that all I am is a taker, when it's really the furthest thing from the truth. I've tried, at certain times, to make you proud of me and what I've become. I hope the culmination of who I am now is someone that you can feel proud of.

So, it is with great desire that I express to you that I'd like a renewed relationship with you. I'd like to feel your love more as a result of the time spent with you, as opposed to obligations that you've made by helping me through every trial and tribulation in my life. I will still need your help from time to time - I don't see a point in the future where that will not be the case. But I don't intend on making that the sole reason for my relationship with you. I'd like to be a beacon of light that radiates to others so that they may see: I love you as well.

I appreciate everything you've ever done for me, and everything you will do for me in the future. I only hope I can reciprocate and do things, positive things, for you as well. I understand that it takes two for any relationship to last.

So let this be a renewed vow. I promise to re-engage. I promise to make time for you. I promise to hold you close to my heart. I promise to recognize the moral lessons that you've taught me. I promise to love you. I promise to not take advantage of you, or take you for granted. And I promise to never forget that you love me too.

With Love,
Joe

One Move After Another

2008-06-16T09:51:00.000-07:00

So, I must bid farewell to my birthplace, my home for so many years.

I'm moving from Memphis, TN to Davenport, IA. No worries, folks, it's about an hour or so away from all the flooding, so I'll be alright.

It's a job transfer, part of which will help define my role with my current employer and hopefully will mean the start of many more worldly opportunities within this company. Without getting into too many specifics that will, no doubt, bore many readers, it seems like a really good personal and financial move for me to make.

Though, I can't say there's no sadness in my heart. It feels like I've grown somewhat attached to this place, like it is somehow an extension of who I am. I feel like I am this place, not that I live in this place. It seems, at least on one level, that I'm taking myself away from everything that's shaped my personality.

Though I know this is probably the first of many bold moves I'll make in this short life time, this to me seems like the most important. The first chance I'll have to really shape who I am for an entirely new batch of people and places that haven't the first clue of who I am. There's no predetermined prejudice, or no glory to seek from people that haven't met me. I can literally be whoever I want to be.

And yet, I think I'll take this opportunity to show that I am still the same, normal, talkative, and very opinionated Joe. While this may be an opportunity that many would envy, I'm likely to look at it as a better way to prove to myself that I am still and will always be exactly who I am.

Eh, well. If it ain't broke, why fix it?

I guess this will just be a test of the saying: "You can take the boy out of the farm, but you can't take the farm out of the boy."

We'll see.

No Rest For the Weary

2008-05-08T18:48:00.000-07:00

I feel sometimes that life is just a gigantic obstacle course. I mean, I know it is, but it hasn't always felt this way.

I seem to be spending most of my time playing politics, or some archetypal father-figure to a bunch of grown people that should have better control of their lives, or an actual father to a son that - even after 15 months in this plane of existence - I'm still trying to figure out.

It sometimes seems that things are being thrown my way just to test my resolve. I have the same arguments with my wife, the same problems at work, and the same dirty diapers at home.

But here's the thing: I *strive* when there's stress.

Maybe that's what's going on here. Maybe I'm just being pushed by the unknown powers to reach my maximum potential and to strengthen my resolve at being the best at what I do.

Or maybe I'm being tested by those same powers to throw me off my game.

Wherever my course leads me, I have the love in my heart to always pull me through. Rest, it seems, is non-existent for the weary.

Life drags on...and so does the quest to break the endless cycles of monotony.

2008-04-04T14:16:00.001-07:00

"I find myself really at a loss. Can't seem to control the things going on around me."

"I want to escape."

"It's a feeling of home-sickness. I can't seem to be happy as I once was, not as a result of anything that anyone or anything has done to me, but more as a result of feeling burnt out."

"I want to be at peace. Life itself seems to be pushing me around, and instead of feeling in this world, I feel like this world is in me."

"I'd like to be able to move with the wind. There is a longing for the answer to a secret that I can't figure out. There seems to be something on the tip of my tongue, I just can't find the words."

"I know something is wrong here. I know it. But I can't tell what it is. I just want to break free."

Sound familiar?

Here's some words of encouragement:

This is always the first step. Good things come to those who SEEK, not to those that wait. Chin up, mi amigos.

Mysterious Ways

2007-07-05T18:52:00.000-07:00

So, I'm laying in bed, face down with my arm draped off the side.

Thinking my thoughts towards God, I say "Father, I'd love to feel you."

The next thought that enters my head is "then feel me."

And with that, I feel my dog's wet nose against my bear shoulder.

Coincidence? I think not.

My Heart Cries...

2007-06-18T13:49:00.000-07:00

I abhor violence. I tend to look the other way when I am threatened. I tend to question how people can get so involved in conflict that the value of human life and well-being is diminished. I've seen people - reasonable, intelligent people - turn into ravaging maniacs because of anger, hatred, and bigotry.

I've seen the world fight wars. I've seen how conflicts around the globe spark bigger conflicts, and how compromises turn into demands. I've seen moderation stamped out by intolerance, and activism drowned by ignorance.

And so it continues. Our world fights with itself. Every war we fight is another civil war - humans fight humans; spirits fight spirits. There is no "us" and "them" - and people are often confused by that. The boundary lines we inhabit might determine the freedoms and prosperities we might receive, or decide your fate for you before you get a chance to breathe. Nothing is certain, anywhere you live.

But we fight with ourselves again. The current world: Iraq? If the in-fighting would just cease, if people would just embrace their society instead of trying to destroy it, the "occupation" would end, and the struggle for freedom would begin with new friends. The fighting has to stop.

Palestine elected terrorists to govern, and they got terrorism in their government. They have been engulfed in civil war, and it can only stop when people decide to make it stop. Hamas was elected to power not to govern Palestine, but to express discontent with Israel. Again, the hatred brews and the results have come from it: death, destruction, war. The fighting has to stop.

Darfur has mass genocide. People are routinely, systematically raped. People die because they are of a different skin type. Mass, horrific, fighting. Blood, war, death; the fighting has to stop.

Here at home, I pride myself for the good fortune I have been lucky enough to be awarded. But I recognize the problems. The two party system of government, coupled with an ever-increasing lame duck president, continue to display their own impotence to help solve these world problems. We've been immersed in our own failures, and every good intention is drowned by critics from past mistakes. Republican and Democrat fight to appear to have a better image, when the world fights wars. Politics over leadership. Who can make the other look worse, instead of how can we help each other. Squabbling over no-confidence votes and non-binding resolutions, when people fight wars both at home and abroad. People fight. The fighting has to stop.

I believe military intervention can bring peace, and it is necessary in many situations. But the constant fighting has to stop. All we do is run around in a great circle of fighting; never ending, ceaseless fighting.

People die, needlessly, every day - proving our own ineffectiveness to coexist. We are all apart of the same sea - surely one day the ocean will stop trying to divide itself.

The Problems With Socialism

2007-06-02T17:53:00.000-07:00

It seems to me that there is this growing infatuation with Socialism these days. The very heart of it attracts those compassionate people into believing that this is the object of civilized society. I see it growing in political popularity. I see it growing in religious circles. I see it becoming a welcomed member of society.

Socialism is basically a form of government that takes all the profits of a society and spreads it equally across its citizens. It looks real good on paper: no one is richer than anyone else; no one goes without a home; everyone has equal access to the goods of a society; everyone has exactly what they need provided for them; everyone is treated and respected equally.

As I said, this all sounds great on paper. Problem is, in action, the deeds fall short of the intention. Here are my issues with Socialism:

1. No Competition
In socialism, all classes of people have exactly the same wealth. No one has more than their neighbor. What this does is create a sense of security and comfort. When someone works harder than another person, the exact same profit is earned (in whatever capacity we call "profit"). Therefore, there is really no need to work harder than another. If one person carries more of the burden, or more responsibility - like a manager of a plant, or the head of a business - there is really no incentive to carry the needs of that particular position to its peak level. You have thus created a plateau for business achievement.

2. Someone always takes over.
Stalin. Chairman Mao. Fidel Castro. Hugo Chavez. Hillary Clinton. There's always someone ready to take the lead and decide what's best for everyone else. There is a pinnacle; a peak representative of the society willing to bear the "brunt" of the blows for the "good of society." In other words, it turns into a dictatorship very quickly. With society in control of all the wealth and distribution thereof, the head of that society is the one in charge of deciding how it goes out. You have just created a despot. It might work out for a generation, maybe two, but someone will be in charge that doesn't want to give up power. It's human nature. Not spiritual nature - human nature. There are smooth talkers, and fast walkers. Look how our buddy Hugo Chavez is turning his democratic Venezuela into a dictatorship systematically. As long as the right procedure is followed, it can be done. When the government is in charge, there's no stopping the government's control.

3. It has not worked anywhere it has been tried.
The Soviet Union; Cuba; Communist China; North Korea; Vietnam - not one of these countries has succeeded without millions of deaths, outrageous numbers of starving citizens, or they just haven't succeeded at all. Stalin massacred his own people. So did Chairman Mao. Kim Jong Il allows his citizens to starve while he further isolates his country. Vietnam had millions of its citizens killed when the United States withdrew from its efforts to halt the spread of Communism. Cuba has refugees leaving still to this day. China is only just now viewing the potential wealth in modeling its economy along more capitalist forms. Socialism doesn't work. Not in the forms that have been tried, and not in the forms that will be developed.

Human society, as a whole, cannot hold up in this dream of a Utopia. I'll admit it again - all these ideas about Socialism sound absolutely wonderful. But they have always fell short in action.

The United States is the freest, wealthiest, most powerful country in the world - and it's been around for less than two and a half centuries. I credit this to an absolutely amazingly written constitution above all else; and an amazing system for its economy to continually better itself. Free trade, capitalist corporate and business models, and a drive to be better for your own sake. In the place, you can become as wealthy as you can figure out how to become. All you have to do is strive to be better.

I fear and rue the day that Socialism is found to be the absolute model of perfection. It will be on that day that people hand over that which gives them the right to believe what they believe; that which gives them the right to be what they want to be; that which gives them the right to decide for themselves how far they wish to succeed in life; that which gives them the right to practice whatever religion, notion, or idea comes to their mind.

That thing I refer to is freedom.

Keep government out of your life. Personal freedom is all that counts in this world.

Prejudice

2007-05-31T19:11:00.000-07:00

It's remarkable to me how people shape their opinions on things without even having any personal experience with it. I saw on the news yesterday that there were these two women who were ranting about the horrible spread of Harry Potter. There was, of course, a children's psychiatrist on the program to debate the duo, who seemingly attacked the Harry Potter story because they viewed it as being harmful to kids.

How?

Because - according to them - it promotes witchcraft to children. When the host and the psychiatrist both responded by saying that it pits good guys against bad guys, it has endearing messages of love and kindness, and yadda yadda yadda, one of the ladies made the following assertion: she claims that it glorifies white magic, and demonizes black magic, but in reality, all magic is evil.

Now...why would she say something like this? Stereotype.

What they were actually trying to do here is just demonize witchcraft, as if it's some kind of religion in and of itself. Magic (magick, whatever) is a tool used in certain religious ceremonies as a tool for further endowment of experience. It's akin to the sacraments that we've seen used in the Christian tradition. Magick doesn't *do* anything of itself, but it creates a movement in the person's mind to go forward with events that help them achieve their own particular ease...in order to experience further the divine touch.

I fear I will find my self lost in my own words.

My astonishment, however, was with these women. They are SO not alone with the bigotry. And why do they feel this way about "witchcraft"? I would presume, having not known these ladies, that they have been raised with such notions that this particular belief structure is "evil." It's a grandfathered prejudice which cultivates through ignorance.

When there is time, we should always examine our prejudices of ideas. Why is it we feel the way we do about things? Is it because we KNOW them to be bad or good, or because that's what we've been told? Do the ideas that present such a bad impression really represent the idea itself?

We should never limit ourselves to our preconceived notions. Try not to form an opinion unless you have really educated yourself on both sides of a debate. There are always two sides to every coin.

The Power Of Symbolism

2007-05-30T19:05:00.001-07:00

Earlier this morning, when I was getting ready for work, I found a jewelry box in my computer room that had a bunch of scrap jewelry that had been put aside for special occasions (such as rings and old necklaces). In it, I happened to find my necklace charm, a silver Templar cross. I could refer to it as a Gnostic cross, because that's its symbolism for me.

The original reason I put it away was because the loop that holds it on my necklace kept breaking, but this time, I stuck it in my pocket and carried it with me to work. Later in the day, I took the time to put it back together, and strap it on my neck. It made me feel good.

It's not the cross itself that has magical powers to change my mood. It's the representation of what the cross means to me. When I wear it, it makes me remember who I am, where I have gone, where I'm going, and what I'm hear for. In short, I've attached a memory of my core person onto this symbol - making it special to me.

This is what we do when we carry charms, crosses, pendants, and all sorts of religious-type items. It is through this method we remind ourselves that there are other things going on in our life besides the traffic, the dog chewing up the furniture, the jerk at work, and the war in Iraq. It's through this method that we remember what we believe, and what we feel when we seek the Divine.

Some confuse the idea of carrying a symbol as meaning we substitute the object for the truth. Couldn't be further from the truth. You don't pray to your cross, nor do you expect it to turn into an incarnation of an angel. Rather, we focus our strength on the object, which gives us a pendulum to harness our thoughts - it channels our emotive process to make our thoughts and words reach the destination: Divine attention.

Never be ashamed of such a noble intention. Rather, make aware the usefulness of such a tool.

Gnosis: Attack of the Conscience

2007-05-28T18:24:00.000-07:00

It is thus: when one feels the experience of gnosis, it is an overwhelming sense of joy, love, confusion, and triumph. And with it, when one returns to our lively, coffee-driven, baby goo world, we find ourselves immersed in the same old junk we were before: life's problems.

However, the big difference is not the way life comes at you; the big change in life is how you get back with reality. There is a shift in consciousness; a change in course; a new direction for your responses to flow. It's clarity. We can question even the most basic of moral rules to a fault, and actually understand that sometimes even what's considered "right" can actually be wrong. This is the stage where your conscience is pounding in your head. You've awoke the sleeping giant.

No more can you sit idly by and float through the primordial ooze. No more can you see harm being done to others, or sit and watch another do harm to themselves. No more can you bear witness to injustice and turn the blind eye. It doesn't make you superman to be this aware - just makes you superconscious.

Even the smallest life has meaning: I've noted before that my wife gets very irritated when I argue with her about killing the spider running across the floor. And you know you've got issues when you say a prayer for a fruit fly.

But these are the examples of the underlying resonance within each of us. There is a sleeping spark within that opens our eyes to the wonderful and beautiful creations throughout reality. We see that there is not so much black and white in the world: it's all confused, collapsing in on itself.

But the glimmer of hope is within us all. The bond between the saint and the sinner is unnoticeable, but unbreakable. We are all life - and that life's purpose is to recognize it and respect it .

Gnosis is the freedom you are longing for.

The Meaning Of Life

2007-03-11T18:56:00.000-07:00

I will take this moment to gloat about the beauty of my son. Isn't he cute? ;-)

I have found no other purpose in life as satisfying as watching my child smile at me.

Time As An Archon

2007-02-24T18:43:00.000-08:00

Time is nothing but the gauge that we use in order to judge the "distance" between two events. Time has no meaning, outside of our limited understanding of its relationship to the universe. If there were no cycles, no births, and no deaths, time would be utterly non-existent.

It is by this time frame that we fashion our lives. We live the moments of our youth as if they were infinite, and as our understanding of the limits of time increases, our daily devotion to it increases. We plan our day, our schedules, our meals - our entire way of life is based upon the moments that we use and have left throughout life.

But how realistic is this? Examine.

There is no difference between this moment and the last, other than the molecules of the universe have shifted into different positions. There is no "age" - it does not exist. Things are ever shifting, evolving, mutating, and transforming into different shapes, sizes, forms, and substances. Your body is never the same, materially, from one moment to the next. Neither is the universe.

Don't misunderstand me. I make no plans to miss my scheduled work time, or feeding time for my baby. But what I want to address here is the worship of "time" as an entity - an archon. This "ruler" controls the very fabric of our existence, and blocks gnosis at every corner.

Much despair and grief arises from our worship of time. We fear the day that our body is no longer animate, or one of our loved ones in no longer with us. Those who have faith pray that they can greet the "after-life" with the concept that they view the most appealing. Some choose to put a time frame on the existence of the planet, the sun, and the universe.

Time is no more than an illusion. There is no past, just as there is no future. Every event that has ever occurred has occurred right now, this time, present - we just gauge the time appropriately to fit into our ideas of the sequences of events. The same goes true for the death of the body. People fear this time the most, because it is the least understood.

Once the concept of time can be overcome, you can allow your mind to rest openly. Understand that the time we fear is not going to be some distant date, but it is right now - just as your birth. How many events happen between this event and the next? Who knows? This is unimportant. When we can grasp this concept of "now," and shed the concept of time, we can start to embrace the present.

Feel the touch of the now. Hear the sounds that flow. Live the breath that you breathe. Sense the emotion that overcomes you. Know that the "death" that you feel is an illusion as well, because it is just a transformation of substances. The spirit, the energy, the consciousness - these timeless functions of existence will continue.

Learn to release time. It's a heavy burden to bear, one that can constrict the pursuit of gnosis. Focus on the "now", and you can find a way to see into the infinite.

Inspiration Comes And Goes

2007-02-23T18:08:00.000-08:00

When I first started this blog, I was full of thought and emotion about any kind of religious and/or political topic you could throw at me. I spouted, and I spewed.

I feel drawn out now, so to speak. No, this isn't my "signing out" post. This blog is going nowhere any time soon. Rather, it's an explanation as to why my posts seem so few and far between.

I feel inspiration every moment of the day. I saw the clouds moving across the sky yesterday evening, and I was almost moved to tears. It was entirely beautiful. I see life flourish, the birds singing, the flowers blooming. I see the soldiers dying overseas, the politicians arguing, and the presidential elections coming. I see my new baby boy, my beautiful wife, and the future we all share together.

These are not just fleeting thoughts. These stick with me, every minute of every day. I'm drawn to these moments, these times, and I can feel my blood pulse through my veins with passion. I want to comment, to draw logical conclusions, to analyze these situations, and reflect back to the readers what exactly these moments and sensations are like.

I seek to aide the reader into their own little spiritual euphoria, so that they may see the comparisons in their own life with mine, to better understand what miracles touch their life everyday. I wish to help those with "lesser education" reconcile the same epiphanies they feel with those who have doctorates. No one is above the gnosis.

All these thoughts, feelings, sensations, and inspirations rush through my head every moment of my day. I dream about sharing them - with my friends, family, and even the few souls that creep across my blog. I am awe inspired when I draw from these passions. I usually can't wait to get home to put all these thoughts in print and vocalize my thoughts.

Then I get home, and the baby cries, and I have to change the poopy diaper because my wife's been doing it all day and now "it's my turn." Then the feeding, the burping, more crying and more poopy diapers. The dogs need to be fed, dinner needs to be cooked, and I need to balance my checkbook. Dishes are piled up, my dogs got into the trash again, and speaking of trash, it needs to go to the curb. Oh, and I have to work tomorrow. Reality hits.

There goes my inspiration. *sigh*

You're Almost There...Don't Go Now...

2007-02-13T16:20:00.000-08:00

Anytime you start to try something new, it can be exciting and challenging. Especially when, at first, everything seems to be a great combination with your spirit.

This is contemporary Gnosticism. Many are attracted to its elements because the word is used so much by so many people. This is another reason it's entirely difficult to ground down an exact definition and outline for modern Gnosticism. Many people are attracted to it from different sources - notably those who have actually misused the word Gnosticism when representing themselves.

One of the scary things about entering into something new is that when it's not exactly what you were expecting, we retreat. I've seen many people who are attracted to Gnosticism because they've heard of Sylvia Browne or Samual Woer using the word to describe their particual set of beliefs. Once they learn how laughable their brand really is compared to true contemporary Gnosticism, they retreat back into their "safe zone," for fear that they have absolutely no idea what is going on - like they will be judged for being crazy.

This should never be the case. I was actually initially attracted to Gnosticism through Sylvia Browne's words, which was my direct quest to seek a higher knowledge of the Divine. As I explored the religion further, I realized (a) how different it really was from what Sylvia said it was, and (b) how in love with it I really was.

Many don't initially understand the many layers of interpretation that follow through the myths and allegories of Gnostic folklore. And trust me, there are plenty of places on the web and through scholarship that claim all sorts of obscene things about the Gnostic religion and its practices, but at the core root of it, there are all these different routes the knowledge can and does go. It is more broad than people have ever really given it credit for, and I think that's a travesty.

Gnosticism is more than a religion with a set of beliefs. It's more than a liturgy. It's more than the myths that they use to teach. It's more than the word itself.

It's not UFO worship, or some sex cult, or some occultic pagan group of Satan worshippers. It's figurehead is not some psychic lady that can tell you what your grandmother is doing in Heaven.

It IS the active, consistant approach to seeking out gnosis, and using that particular experience by applying it to life. The gnosis is what frees us.

All else is conjecture, and should not taint the purity of gnosis.

The Lamb

2007-02-11T11:51:00.000-08:00

THE LAMB

Little Lamb, who made thee
Dost thou know who made thee,
Gave thee life,
and bid thee feed

By the stream and o'er the mead;
Gave thee clothing of delight,
Softest clothing, woolly, bright;
Gave thee such a tender voice,
Making all the vales rejoice?

Little Lamb, who made thee?
Dost thou know who made thee?
Little Lamb, I'll tell thee;
Little Lamb, I'll tell thee:

He is called by thy name,
For He calls Himself a Lamb
He is meek, and He is mild,
He became a little child.

I a child, and thou a lamb,
We are called by His name.
Little Lamb, God bless thee!
Little Lamb, God bless thee!

(William Blake)

Gnosis of the Child

2007-02-10T19:30:00.000-08:00

Life as I know it is different now.

My new baby boy has brought so many new - maybe not new, but more enhanced - emotions and feelings into my atmosphere as of late. I never knew that I could love some other person quite as much as I do; an even deeper love than I feel for even my wife (though I couldn't measure that love if I tried).

Through the sleepless nights thus far (and the many to come), I realize that I don't take care of this little guy because I have to, but rather, because I feel impelled to. I feel no sense of "obligation" per se, but a more dignified sense of "want" as I watch my son scream his head off; I want to take care of him, to nurture him, and to raise him. And the scary part is that he's only a couple of weeks old.

I have to admit that there is a certain amount of uncertainty, an uneasy feeling that I don't know how well I'll do in raising this child, or even knowing how many mistakes I'll make (and I am quite sure I'll make more than a few mistakes). But these concerns are far outweighed by the buildup of pride I have for this beautiful child, my adoring son.

These feelings have left me to wander the halls of my thoughts, as of late. The love that I feel - through no force - for him almost seems to mirror to me a spiritual resonance. If I can love this child whom I've only held in my arms for two weeks now as much as I do, how much more so can the Divine share His love with the creation that has formed from His own love?

I feel a close connection in three ways right now, as I feel that I'm on the brink of an epiphany. I strongly feel my late father's love for me, through either my memories or a fine resonance that's left of him. I strongly feel the same protective love for my son that I felt from my dad - never being scared when I was around him (and hoping my son never feels scared around me). And these two, coupled, enhance the emotive waves I have felt with the Divine - hopefully, opening my own consciousness to newer spiritual levels.

The birth of my son has brought me here, to this path.. I only hope I can teach him to seek his path, and more than that - how to walk that path.

The Day That Changed My Life

2007-01-29T06:51:00.000-08:00

January 25, 2007 - 5:57 p.m.

Joshua Nathaniel Daher

I never could have imagined he'd be so beautiful.

Is It Wrong To Eat Meat? Part 2

2007-01-24T10:07:00.000-08:00

For the first part, please read here.

Relatively speaking, meat eating itself is not in question here. There are obvious risks associated with eating too much meat, and advantages of eating at least SOME meat. Besides the obvious, the animal in question is usually dead and doesn't feel ANYTHING.

The issue, instead, seems to be the inhumane treatment of animals that are bred for meat processing and the like. Brother Shawn Johnston has a very interesting post on this topic over at his blog site here.

Confronted with these harsh realities, I can of course only go on the evidence in hand and conclude that these animals are treated rather savagely. I offer no form of excuse or defense for the types of behavior that some of these meat manufacturers institute in their business, and I am offended that there are not better rules and regulations in place to help better safeguard these kinds of atrocities.

That being said, I'd like you to take a minute now and examine the things we do on a daily basis that has just as bad if not worse treatment for life. I'd like to put things in perspective.

Should we stop mowing our lawns? I can only imagine the grass screaming as a plague of moving mechanical parts comes to mutilate scores of fellow specimens.
Should we not bathe? The numbers that die in these forms of disinfection and contamination are incalculable, much less appetizing.
Should we cease to partake in eating fruits and vegetables? We know beyond a doubt that these plants are living creatures, and they are very possibly much more complex organisms than originally suggested.
Forget bathing, just stop cleaning altogether. The micro bacteria that exist are apart of an ecosystem that we obviously have no right putting to an end.
Should we also set up some form of punishment for those animals that eat meat? Obviously, they are not as advanced as we humans, but I believe I've seen some gruesome and terrible things on the Discovery Channel, and I cannot sit by idly and watch these crimes against nature occur.

Okay, okay, I'll admit. This was probably a wee bit exaggerated. No harm was intended by my sarcasm, and I hope none is taken. But I do insist that we view this as a normal process of nature.

Not all butchers and meat processors are heartless scum. They don't exist solely to extract life - but to extract food. We should DEFINITELY punish those who are found to be heartlessly cruel to the animals in which they harbor, but a boycott on the meat industry altogether is equally unjust, and impossible.

Which brings me back to my original point: naturally speaking, of course, meat intake is going to be existent amongst life forms. It is definitely natural to assume that is a part of the natural course for human consumption.

Jesus: To Be Or Not To Be

2007-01-19T19:06:00.000-08:00

I guess this is a long time coming, because I feel compelled to write about it.

I've noticed in many, many places that are gnostic-oriented that the existence of a physical Jesus is hotly debated, and more times than not, usually considered to be false. While all of these forums allow you a freedom to believe whichever you're most comfortable with, it feels like the "endorsed" message is that there was no physical Jesus.

Let me say: this post is not intended to debate the existence of Jesus.

I'm feeling a growing concern, however, that this message is being used far too much to be of any effectiveness. I stand behind and encourage creative thought and exploration, and this is certainly a subject that is both valid and neccesary to pursue in order to find roots and meanings behind esoteric messages and myths. But the Jesus myth as it exists today is an important bridge for those entering into a more spiritual form of Christianity: Gnositicism.

I caution those that are so quick to extend their opinions on the existence of a physical Jesus, because I believe it is out of personal spite that this subject is usually explored; a way to rebel against the establishment - the big "THEM" that is already called "Christianity."

I have always viewed Gnosticism as a very esoteric, meaningful, spiritual, and unique part of a movement that has often been called "Christianity" (though there are differences). Many people who seem to "cuddle" with Gnosticism can do so because it allows them the luxury of exploring their deeper spiritual needs, and yet not abandon completely the childhood religion that they've grown up with. To this end, the importance of having a common tie between the two is very defined. The myth of Jesus is an important bridge for people to cross from the Christianity of old into Gnosticism.

For the gnostic, I believe it would be very detrimental to the movement to automatically discount the existence of a physical Jesus because it would thereby sever the tie with the curious Christian, and perhaps might make that particular seeker retreat back into his/her own particular form of error. The thought of "no Jesus" for someone trying to pursue an esoteric religion that they have little knowledge of might just be enough for someone who has grown around the idea of a physical Jesus to take two steps back from their own spiritual progress.

In no way do I dispute that this is a valid topic to bring to people's attention, and we should always explore the route to knowledge wherever that leads us. But we must also, as gnostics, understand that accepting a defined "position" on this particular subject could not only hurt the growth and developement of the gnostic movement, but it can also affect the seeker that is on the path to their own particular gnosis. Too many times have I seen those in a "priestly" role outright declare that there "is no physical Jesus" because of a lack of physical evidence. This is a position that, in my opinion, should be avoided if one is honor-bound to assist the spiritual seeker attain gnosis.

Jesus has become an icon in the spiritual world. One can believe in a physical, spiritual, mythological, or allegorical Jesus; but one must conclude that none of these can be advertised exclusively be a body of spiritual seekers on a quest to expand both our minds and the minds of those willing to listen.

Besides, I hear Jesus was a cool guy.

Face Your Fears - Death

2007-01-12T20:37:00.000-08:00

Something I've done a lot of contemplating on lately.

What I've found is that the deepest form of fear inevitably comes from one's unique uncomfortableness with death. I've suffered from this affliction, as I'm sure the vast majority of those reading have as well. If it's not death itself, it's what it will be preceded by - in other words, how it's going to happen.

Beyond that, there's usually a question of uncertainty. What happens after?

Harder question to answer than one might suspect, even for the most religious people. Once you dissect the form or brand of whatever particular version of religion you desire, you're left with little else but your own thoughts. You can picture the circumstances that will surround your death, but there's still a slight hint of unease. If you're not careful, this feeling can turn to dread, then fear, and then it can consume you. Very, very unhealthy - and not very productive either.

"When one dreams a dream, one does not know that it's not real until they wake. How, then, do we know that death is not the greatest pleasure?" - Kung Fu, TV Series

We, as religionists (not a priest anytime soon), attempt to diagram, study, explain, and delve deeper into the unknown - not for other people's sake, but for our own. Initially, the goal is completely selfish. There is a knowledge that exists that can help us determine exactly what happens to our consciouness at the moment of death - and we all yearn for this knowledge. It is the entire reason our species seeks out and explores the possibilities of the universe.

This knowledge is like the Fountain of Youth, a never-ending specticle of immortality. Which is, after all, the goal. We seek answers about our mortality in the hopes that we can discover that we are actually immortal, and that we can cheat death. But it is not "death" that people fear, per se, but rather the end of their own existence. The knowledge that is yearned for is just a comfort blanket, if you will - sort of a reassurance that everything will work out in the end.

Then we must gauge ourselves accordingly. Realize that "time" is merely static - invented by man in order to establish a way to gauge a sequence of events. "Time" is merely a means to an end, and we have focused our entire existence on surveying time. Clocks, watches, fast-food, instant coffee - all forms and brands designed specifically to feed off the idea that we are losing time. The fear technique is tapped in order to establish our own end - that our physical selves are running out of time, so make the most of it while you can.

But this is rediculous. Since time is really static, and all we observe are sequences of events, then we have always and will always live in the present - never NOT existing. There is no past, there is no future - as you read this passage, you are merely keeping track of the seconds and the missing time of your life based on the starting point of this paragraph and the ending punctuation. When you finish, nothing has changed except for the balance of atoms in existence and their particular place in reality. "Time" has not moved.

And so we must conclude, that at the moment of death, the physical life that we live is only changed, since the energy and mass of our selves are still extant. There is no life left in this shell, but according to physics, the energy can't just disappear. It has to exist somewhere.

In what capacity? That's an entirely different topic. But there is a knowledge that can lead us to these answers. The knowledge is there, almost as if it was placed there intentionally. This knowledge, friends, is called gnosis.

Reproduction: The Biggest Small Miracle

2007-01-05T19:09:00.000-08:00

As I move closer to my wife's due date (Feb. 5), the realization of my upcoming fatherhood is growing more and more apparent. I'm not quite used to the idea yet, and it's still not exactly concrete, but I feel its grasp around my collar. I'm about to be a father.

This has me thinking and reflecting about life and the entire birthing process. I've had to mull over so many pregnancy books and pamphlets (my wife accuses me of not reading enough pregnancy books and too many religious books) that I've almost been drowned in the process of the moment. However, there is no real metaphysical explanations that I've encountered that have peaked my interest.

I can only assume this is the trueness to reality. Not that reality revolves around birth, but that the birth of man is the most realistic touch to this plane of existence. Its true reality actually is amazing: a life actually connected in a symbiotic manner to another life, merged together for the few months that it is grown within. The material beginning of this process is, of course, enjoyable...however, the end results fascinate me so much more.

From two single cells a life is born. Spirit is fused with matter through an inital transmutation, then growth takes over. A merge of cells creates the building blocks of an entire entity - capable of thought, feeling, and spiritual inquiry.

I can only guess the root causes behind such a spiritual mechanism. Our Gnostic texts tell us great stories and myths of how the Divine fell into the physical, but when applying these ideas to an individual, the task is a little bit more broad. It is the spirit that I hope this child succumbs to, not my religious ideas. I very much hope he can take on the kind of thought that can give birth to his own gnosis, within his own mind.

I realize, though, that the life I bring into this world will be molded from my existence. I will hope to imprint a certain set of moral values onto him that he can carry with him his entire life. I have thoughts at this moment of my late father, and the love (and many, many fights) we shared while growing up. He never wavered from his position, and no matter how wrong I thought he was, I know that everything he did and said was to prepare me for my life, my quest, and my path. I can only hope to be half as good a father towards my son.

This birth process can easily be confused for the miracle that IS birth. It's too easy to be caught up in the mechanics of the moment, but I must not forget this experience. I feel it's overpowering joy entering my house.

I feel anxious. I can't wait.

Perhaps...

2007-01-04T18:34:00.000-08:00

Perhaps this blog is the work of a mad man.

Perhaps these articles are the musings of a lunatic.

Perhaps these ideas are the dreams of men who never saw sanity, driven by their own desire to know themselves.

Perhaps these are the latest steps in a constant process of evolution, slowly drawing the minds of those connected into a state of blissful insanity.

Perhaps I've been coerced by an ideology that is entrancing, mind-warping, and addicting.

Perhaps I don't know what I think I know.

Perhaps I never knew, and I still don't.

Perhaps no one else knows what I long to know.

Perhaps there is nothing to know.

Perhaps there is a winding road we all travel, born to walk this path, driven to finish, powerless when we have taken our last step.

Perhaps this life is truly amazing.

Perhaps life is meant to be a mystery forever.

Perhaps that IS the mystery.

Perhaps we've all got it wrong.

Perhaps we've all got it right.

Perhaps there's two sides to every coin.

Perhaps there is intent behind this creation.

Perhaps there is a mind behind that intent.

Perhaps we are all apart of that mind.

Perhaps we all have a part in that mind.

Perhaps we are that mind.

Perhaps when we know that mind, we can truly be blissful.

Perhaps that's what makes us all crazy.

Perhaps...that's gnosis.

Death Brings No Peace

2006-12-30T05:30:00.000-08:00

Saddam Hussein

April 28, 1937 - December 30, 2006

When I was younger, and the Gulf War dominated the news, it seemed to me that all the world was against Saddam. Of course, this wasn't the case, but it sure was propagandized as such to me - in Elementary school.

I used to wonder why my government never did anything to Saddam, and why he was still in power. Why don't we, I thought, send someone to kill Saddam? I was raised, actually, to grow into hating that dictator. I've since learned to deal with these childhood impressions, and my feelings on this situation have greatly been effected.

Now that he's been executed, my heart weeps. Not because he was a good person, or a good leader. He was clearly neither of these. But because this was yet another lost soul, fueled by hate - so far from the Divine.

If only I could help. I mourn for his spirit. I can only hope his spirit finds peace.

The Best Picture...

2006-12-20T16:30:00.000-08:00

Joshua Nathaniel Daher

Coming Soon: Due February 5, 2007

This is beyond words...