Learning as I go

A Swimmer Indeed

2009-07-08T20:34:00.000-07:00

Last night the girls finished up the first round of many swimming lessons to come. While Olivia refused to participate in many of the sessions, and some where she was only in the water for a few minutes, she now puts her head completely under the water. I'm very proud of this accomplishment for little miss stubborn. I didn't expect her to walk away from the class doing anything but kick her legs, so we are headed in the right direction.

As for Bea, I cannot even describe how proud I am of her. She went into the class not really doing anything. She wouldn't even put her head under the water. All of her fear turned into determination as she saw other kids her age doing these things at the first class. Since she is competitive in nature, I realized it could go one of two ways for her - either she would give up easily if she felt she couldn't do it, or she would excel and learn all there was to know so she could be just as good as the others. And she excelled tremendously. She is actually swimming, and tonight she even did some freestyle strokes. I am so very proud of her. We were only allowed to bring cameras at the last session, so I was able to get a few good shots and video with her and her instructor, Natalie.

My little Bea is now a swimmer...Go Bea!!

Daycare Bully

2009-06-15T17:08:00.000-07:00

Who: Olivia, who is clearly defined by her initials OAK. She’s as strong as, without a doubt.

What: The hitting, hair pulling, sometimes spitting phase is back in style for some reason.

When: Pretty much on a daily basis.

Where: Daycare. Hit and miss at home with her sister.

Why: Well, there are a number of us who would really like to know...

True Story: While picking up Olivia from daycare one day recently, I was accosted by several of the other little girls while trying to find Bea’s shoes. One said, “Olivia pulled my hair!” and then another one shouted, “She spit in my face!” and then another one yelled, “She hit me and her sister!” Just how does one respond to that? These were not just accusations but total truths, and I felt so horrible that it was my kid they were talking about and wasn’t quite sure how to respond other than “well, I will just have to have a talk with Olivia, then” even though I know it will do absolutely nothing. Then, I kind of wonder why the other kids didn’t do any of this mean stuff back to her. She is smaller than all of them. Is she a bully? Oh dear. She is, isn't she?

What do you think?

Calm Before the Storm

2009-06-10T16:04:00.000-07:00

This weekend will mark the last weekend until September where we aren't busy bodies. We are getting the girls involved in more activities, and next weekend marks the first day of them both starting soccer class/games. In addition to that, I’ve signed them up for swim lessons. So, every Saturday and a couple of weeknights will be occupied for the next couple of months...in addition to all of these exciting events/activities, we are also looking forward to all of these things this summer:

L’s wedding shower
Maid of honoring duties for L’s wedding
L’s WEDDING
Local camping trips
Heading a little north for the 4th
Josh’s birthday
The arrival of my NIECE
Our big August family camping vacation to San Diego (and visiting Sea World and Legoland)

It’s going to be a crazy summer, and I haven’t even included everything. To prepare for the craziness, this weekend we will be doing some random, fun activities while keeping it somewhat relaxed. Has anyone seen UP?

Photo Commentary from Our Pismo Trip

2009-06-02T14:59:00.000-07:00

We went to Pismo Beach this last weekend for some relaxation. Instead of giving you a long written version, most of the photos will give you a good idea about our trip.

"Yo. We's are gonna be bad asses down in the Pismo. We's camping on the beach. Dad's bringing his motorcycle. We bringin' the new tent trailer. We's will be campin' in sty-le. We, however, will not be dumb asses and ride around on noisy vehicles by all the campsites at 3am."

"Do you see this beautiful princess castle that me and my sister Olivia made (with a little help from others)? It took us ALL morning. It was so beautiful. We even found sea gull feathers on the beach to help decorate it with. All the flags and princesses...oh, it is such the dream castle. But do you want to know what happened to the sand castle? Only ten minutes after my mom took this picture my sister Olivia decided that she was grumpy and trampled over the whole thing while no one was watching. That's my sister. Sometimes she's grumpy.

And you can see just how grumpy she was right here.

There was a neverending supply of shells on the beach and we found so many shells. This one is what I call a butterfly shell. Though, we found so many sand dollars and mom said she was going to make some art piece out of it.

We's total bad asses. I have no idea what my sister is doing, but I'm on top of the world, y'all.

We were sort of making sand angels. And then we made comfy spots. And then me and Olivia ended up wrestling around and fighting over the comfy spots. My mom video taped a part of the wrestling match but I don't think she is going to post it.

Mommy showed me how to sink my feet in the sand after the waves come so that our bad ass feet get stuck a little bit. I had to teach my sister how to do it, and I never get to teach her anything. It was so much fun.

Running away from the waves was so much fun. We screamed extra loud with our little girl screams.

Daddy dug a big hole and buried me in the sand. I had sand everywhere. Everywhere. I could do this every single day. We had the best time.

The End.

Another Round of Fortunes

2009-05-28T13:05:00.000-07:00

I just can't help it. I love it when we go out to dinner and get the fortune cookies. It's sometimes better than dealing with the chaos at being out to dinner with fidgety kids. And for some reason, the table seems to get silent when those cookies come. This time around, I forgot to bring Josh's with us. See if you can guess which one belonged to Bea, Olivia or me.

1. You will be coming into a fortune.

2. An unexpected event will bring you fortune.

3. You will soon be receiving sound spoken advice. Listen!

It's nice to see the words "fortune" in two out of the three of these...And because I can't draw things out, here's the results:

1. Well, I wish this one were mine, but it wasn't. But, I would definitely say that the person likely to get this one out of the three of us is Bea. And, yes, she did get it. She asked what a fortune was because maybe that word means the same thing as candy. It was a big disappointment for her. Josh and I said we should play the lotto numbers on the back of her fortune, but we ended up not. Instead, we just said to each other that that would be nice if she did and then maybe she would decide to take care of us in our old age.

2. That would be me. I don't like the unexpected, unless it is unexpected in a good way. Sounds like it is. And an "event" could be defined as almost anything. Nothing has happened yet.

3. So, is it any wonder that the child who is currently most defiant gets the fortune that actually has an exclamation point with the word "listen"? No surprise, really. After I read it to myself first, I had a little chuckle. Then, in my "reading fortune cookie" voice I read it to the table. When it came to the "Listen!" part, I said it quite sternly and loud and had a few people look my way.

I have long known fortune cookies to be an entertaining piece at the end of an asian dinner with my family. It has always been fun reading them, and I'm glad that our family is carrying on that little tradition.

The Girls

2009-05-22T08:12:00.001-07:00

I'm getting off cheap today on this post with two photos that Josh took last night that I love...me and my lovely little ladies.

Have a wonderful weekend, everyone.

Camping in Style

2009-05-10T14:14:00.000-07:00

This weekend we ventured out on our already second camping trip of the season. Though, this was the first of many camping trips in style due to a new purchase of a bargain tent trailer. While we didn't have a spot reserved, our friends V and E and baby E, had a great spot at New Brighton State Beach in Santa Cruz. Sadly, I didn't get very many pictures either, as the camera battery died right when things started getting fun. I did, however, capture our new home away from home:

And to all the moms out there, happy mother's day!

8

2009-05-05T21:05:00.000-07:00

I never would have thought that I would marry this man.

I never thought that I would meet the love of my life in the college dorms.

Yet, the very first time I met him and locked eyes with him, I knew that there was something.

I never thought that we would spend the rest of our lives together at that time.

I never thought that our friendship would turn into a love story.

I never thought that I would fall so madly in love.

Or learn so many new things.

And learn to be comfortable out of my element.

In 1997, I found my soul mate.

In 2001, we were married.

And now, eight years after we were married...still us, but with two lively little girls.

I never would have thought. Not in a million years.

And I'm so glad that love knocked me down back then, because I sure would be missing out on three people that mean the world to me, who I could never live without.

Happy anniversary, Josh....I love you now, and forever.

Digging a Ditch

2009-04-29T13:28:00.001-07:00

Quite a few weeks ago now, we had ordered some pizza at Costco to take to Josh’s parents house before painting more than two dozen eggs for Easter. We had enough time, so I went to this little kid clothes store while Josh took the manly route and went to a surplus. The store was having a blowout sale, so I was doing some stocking up on skirts, dresses, tank tops, and flip flops (“Not flip flops MOM, they’re chanklas!”) for summer.

Olivia spies a swimsuit she wants. It’s the one thing we don’t need for summer since she already has two new swimsuits from relatives and also fits in Bea’s hand me downs – about 3 of them. She didn’t need another one. There was a play area in this store, so the girls wandered over there and Olivia told me to “hold the swimsuit, please”. And then they played and I went to the check out. I didn’t get the swimsuit for her.

When we were walking back to pick up the pizza from Costco, Olivia says she wants to hold her swimsuit. That’s when I say I didn’t get the swimsuit. And she looks mortified. But, she doesn’t believe me for some reason and asks to have it again when we get to Josh’s parents. I tell her the same thing. She just looks confused.

The next day she asks for her new swimsuit, and I don’t know what happened, but I told her we left it at grandma’s and that she could get it the next time she’s there. I figured it was likely that she would forget. I didn’t remember that I was dealing with Ms. Fashionista** and that she might never forget any item of clothing that was hers. And she hasn’t – even after three weeks now. Every time she mentions that swimsuit being at grandma’s and how she is going to get it the next time she is there, I kind of do an under the breath “mmm hmmm” knowing full well that there is no new swimsuit there for her.

I should never have said that to her because those kids, I swear they remember everything you tell them now. You can never make promises and not follow through. And you sure has hell can’t say that some treasured item that child thought you bought them is at grandmas. It looks like I am going to have to make a cheap swimsuit purchase in the next couple of days because the girls are headed there this weekend. Why couldn’t she just believe me when I told her that I didn’t get it? That’s right...they only hear what they want to hear.

**Ms. Fashionista in an oldie, but goodie, photo last July. Notice the paisley pants paired with the tie-dyed shorts, and the shirt with stars with a blue jacket with butterflies. Who said that you couldn’t put a print together with a print with yet another print? Olivia makes her own rules, and no one challenges them.

Santa Cruzin

2009-04-22T14:25:00.000-07:00

Last weekend we took off and went camping down in Santa Cruz. The weather was summerlike, and we took our chances on getting a campsite. It turned out that all of the beach camp spots were taken, but nestled in the redwoods (and only about 10 minutes to the beach) we did find a really nice campsite. The girls had a blast, and after we set up our tent, we headed down to the beach for a good 3 – 4 hours. The girls made some friends and shared their beach gear. Back at the campsite we had roasted marshmallows. It was the perfect little getaway being just about a half hour from home.

Husbands

2009-04-13T14:05:00.000-07:00

"Mommy, why do you have 2 rings on your finger?"

Bea asked me this while we were in the car last Friday.

"Well, one is when daddy told me he loved me, and the other one he gave me when we got married," I said.

"Oh. Will I have 2 rings someday?"

"I'm pretty sure you will. Do you want to marry a prince?"

Bea scruntches up her face in disgust.

"Well, then who do you want to marry?"

"I want to marry someone just like daddy..."

So sweet.

And then there's Olivia.

"Olivia, do you want to get married someday?"

"Yeah. I want to marry a KING."

This is when I look at Josh. We both laugh. And I can't help but say, "is it any surprise that she wants to be the queen bee?" Nothing could be farther from the truth.

The Week

2009-04-05T20:45:00.000-07:00

Crazy week in these parts. We had not one, not two, but three of us down for the count with some sort of sick. When Bea woke up in the middle of night last Sunday barking like a seal (I thought those croup days were behind us), I knew that we would be in for finding some back up care on Monday (i.e. grandpa). In the morning when I was putting on my face in the bathroom, she came in and looked at me and did this big sigh and then says, "mom, are you going to work today?" I told her I was and she said, "Awwwwww." So, I just asked her if she wanted me to stay home with her and I couldn't even believe the look of happiness that swept over her. I asked her if instead she wanted to go to grandpas, and that was a no. I'll have to admit that she didn't have to twist my arm that much to get me to stay with her.

Our day together was a blast, and even though she was sick, I know she enjoyed the one on one time. Josh called us numerous times throughout the day and he thought we were just partying it up...I wouldn't say that, but our day was so busy. We first watched some cartoons, and then I took her down to my work so I could pick up a few things. She drew all over my white board and was pleased as punch to be at my workplace (I wish I had that attitude sometimes). Then we came home and while I did a work call she put together some beads. We then headed to the grocery store for some food shopping. After that, we watched part of a movie and laid down for awhile. Then it was a few rounds of Elefun. And then we colored. By that time it was four, and I think she grew tired of me because she asked to go to daycare. WHAT? Okay, I don't think she was bored of me, per say, but she missed all of her friends and all of the activity and all of the interaction with others. I can't say I blame her because I like the fact that she thrives in a social atmosphere and loves being around so many people, and for this I am glad she has the daycare. I can't believe how hard it was to entertain a four year old all day by myself (with no sister or dad around), but I do have to say how easy it was being with one child instead of two.

When we went to pick up her sister from daycare was probably the best moment of the day...how they hugged each other and said how much they missed each other was so sweet. But, then not ten minutes later they were already over it. Anyway, here she is with the beads she put together (which ended up being a present for Josh):

I wasn't feeling so great on Monday, and on Tuesday I definitely wasn't well. I bypassed any sick days for the week and struggled to make it through work. Still not well on my end, and have now come close to losing my voice completely. Olivia has something, probably the same as Bea...Needless to say, they are both taking medicine now.

On Friday night, my brother flew in for a whirlwind weekend trip. I hope that we didn't wear him out too much because the girls can be pretty exhausting. We're just getting him ready for his first little girl, due this August! I can't wait to spoil my new niece. It was so nice having him here with us, and while not all that exciting, he did get to see the girls in action. On Saturday, we went to our neighborhood Easter Egg Hunt.

With a 10am start for ages 3 and under, and a 10:15 start for ages 4 and over, I'm glad we sent Bea off with the little kids, because the hunt was over in about 5 minutes. They never got to the big kid event because there was nothing left to find(maybe they weren't planning on a high turnout):

Bea loving the Easter Bunny (you can see my brother and Olivia there in the background):

Olivia was definitely apprehensive about this whole bunny thing:

And of course we hit up In-N-Out:

Good times.

All Growed Up

2009-03-28T17:37:00.000-07:00

Last weekend was my annual reunion trip to San Diego, and I can say that it was probably my best visit yet. I was able to attend my friend L's birthday party, and I met and reminisced with all the girls that I grew so close to during those high school years via pageantry. It was trip down memory lane for sure, but what's great is none of these ladies ever change, and we are all so grown up now, most of us with families of our own...it was so great to see everyone, and it's a trip that I look forward to every year.

This weekend is much more low key. Josh was working, so the girls and I...well, we celebrated pony Pinkie Pie's birthday...

Complete with pink cake.

Okay, Okay

2009-03-19T15:01:00.001-07:00

I have been thinking about not continuing this blog. Period. End of story. I guess I didn’t realize that people are interested in what I post or that maybe I was only really thinking of myself in stopping the whole thing. Or that my husband would tell me that this is the only real documentation we will have - in words - to give the kids. And, yes, it was the reason I started doing this anyway. But the last few weeks have been…tough. There’s been nothing that I’ve wanted to share out loud in front of an audience. The fact of it all is that life as a parent has many, many hurdles. The girls are easy one day, and then the next they throw me off my rocker and I have lost my patience one too many times. It makes me exhausted. I don’t have the energy to write about it at the end of the day. Though, this isn’t the only reason I’ve been a blank canvas lately.

I’m following my dream, people. Well, I’m at least trying to follow it in a way that makes sense to me. I’m writing that book, I’m researching publicists and publishers that would be interested in that book, and I’m doing a lot of thinking ahead about it in my brain. There’s a lot going on in there right now. My head is full. I have to do it. I want to do it. And if in the end I get rejected by everyone, at least I can say that I tried.

So, why now? It is true that I said last year I was going to do it and I continuously put it off. This year I put it on my resolution list. But, that’s not why. There’s no time like the present, right? How do you know if you don’t even try? More importantly, what if something happened to you tomorrow and you never had the chance? That’s why.

In the past few weeks, I’ve had to do a little evaluation. I have never been happier in my life than I am at this point in time. Never happier. Of course there are things I’d like to change (oh, you know a better economy would be nice, a bigger house would be the best thing in the world, etc…) but overall everything has been really great. Though, when you find yourself in the ER on a Friday night after the rest of the family has gone to bed because you are having enormous chest pains and think you could, in fact, be dying and then you tell the hospital that and find there is no shitting around with chest pains we will see you right now and then your life starts flashing right before you as to what if it is my time right now and I don’t get to see the girls or Josh ever again. Well, that’s scary. People don’t like talking about that stuff, and yeah, it makes me uncomfortable even saying that yes, that did happen to me and I tried to gloss over it as quickly as I could. It’s just a frightening topic.

So, I’ve decided that’s it. There will be no more waiting around for stuff to happen. I’m going to have to make things happen on my own. No regrets, isn’t that what a lot of people say? But, how many people do you know that live by that motto? Well, you now know at least one. And the first item on my agenda is getting that book published.

Reason #4

2009-02-27T11:57:00.000-08:00

There are so many reasons why I love having children. Cleary, the first three are pretty easy to define:

1. The hugs
2. The kisses
3. When they tell you they love you

There are also so many enjoyments that come after those three, and while I have always thought that my children may be a bit more spirited than others out there, I know that all children have entertaining value.

We recently took the girls bowling for the first time, but we didn't even finish one game. I love seeing them discover something new for the very first time (and those toddler bowling shoes are oh so cute, too!). As they get older, you never really know how they are going to react to certain situations or activities. Can you imagine watching this over and over every time Bea sent her bowling ball off on the runway?

Pure entertainment.

To Olivia, on her 3rd Birthday

2009-02-22T07:00:00.000-08:00

Dear Olivia,

Your journey from two to three years of age is now over. You've stepped into the big time now, and there's no turning back. The year was filled with much drama, and whether it was intentional or not, there is part of me that is glad to be saying goodbye to your year of two. So many great memories, yet there are some things that I'd like to forget. Though, what would a world without Olivia drama be like? Well, I'm sure that it would be a lot less interesting. Sometimes we need the drama.

We started the year off with you talking away, though sometimes it was quite hard to understand as your words weren't crisp clear. As the days past us like a whirlwind, you have grown to speak like a grown up. You still ask "why?" a lot, but you've got a good understanding of many things now. You are quite the storyteller when you get on a roll. Most recently, you've started singing much more than you used to, and I'm quite surprised at how many songs you know as well as the words that go with them. You love to dance. You love to twirl. You love to sing.

This year has been all about your love for Cars (yes, still at times), Nemo, Wall-E (I think mostly because of your sister), and The Little Mermaid (Oh, this world would come to an end if there was no Ariel). Oh, and how can I forget the ponies? Well, you see, My Little Pony was quite popular when I was a girl, and I am so happy those little ponies have made a comeback. You've got quite the pony collection (mmm, maybe 20 or so) that you take care of like they were real ponies. The love for babies also continues...

You have also come into your own with your love of fashion. You have at least three costume changes per day. When I say costume, it could be almost anything you put together. Your Halloween costume from 2007 (which you will see in the video), one of your many princess dresses, the Ariel costume, or whatever you see in your closet that tickles your fancy at that moment. Let's not forget the white tank tops, either. You would wear a white tank top and a skirt every day of the year if we let you. We also can't forget the swimsuits that you like to wear in the dead of winter (like yesterday when you went running outside in your Nemo swimsuit paired with your rainboots - I wish I had the camera right then). You are a true fashionista, and I've pretty much given up on picking out your clothes these days, because oh the protest that comes along with it.

Oh, Olivia. Dear sweet Olivia. You have really become such the little girl recently. Though, still loving to cuddle and give hugs and kisses, you are very much clear in knowing when you want to do something or not. There is a lot of drama. I wonder what you're going to be like when you get older and if this is how your personality will stay. If that's the case, no one is going to mess with you, for the hitting and pushing and kicking have not been caged quite yet. I'm not sure if we will ever be able to tame the beast within. You're always challenging. You're always questioning. You don't put up with crap. Believe it or not, these are some of the many reasons why we love you so much.

I'm not sure you'll really ever know or realize how much I love you so. You are our second born, the reason I spoiled you so much as a baby, and the reason I still continue to do so. Whenever I look at you, there is just something about you - those eyes, those curls, that voice. You have this spark, this little light at times of darkness that can make me see clearly. I can see you clearly, and you make me so proud. So full of energy, and so full of expression...so carefree. I'm jealous a little bit. I look at you taking in your youth and just living it to the extreme, the way in which we all should. The song I picked for your video contains the following verse:

The street lights start to fade away
I see the quiet on you when you're sleeping
Probably dreaming day

Every day with you is perfect, Olivia. Even with the good and the bad, I am so happy that you're here, with us. You make every day exciting and keep us on our toes. There's no other person I'd like to do that than you. Always, always, always remember that, without you, we would definitely be lacking something within our family. You brought us something so special three years ago, and you continue to do so each and every day. I love you so much, Liv-Liv. So very, very much...

Love,
Mama

Melting My Heart, One Day at a Time

2009-02-15T18:33:00.001-08:00

Yesterday, on Valentine's Day, I got the biggest surprise. I thought we were going to have the baby discussion (as in my last post) again, but instead it was something else.

Bea said, "you know what, mama?"

"What, honey?"

"When I grow up, you know what I want to be?"

"What's that?" I asked.

"I wanna be a beautiful mommy just like you."

Tears. Lots of tears.

I'm all about how powerful words can be...you can see for yourself about halfway down the page at Today's Mama: http://www.todaysmama.com/full_article.php?id=471

Babies

2009-02-11T20:28:00.000-08:00

Here's a new one for you...

Both girls say they want to have babies. Truth be told, yeah I want to be a grandmother one day. Give them love and spoil them rotten and then give them back. It will be absolutely divine. Though, let us all hope it won't be too soon, for when they talk about having babies, the dialogue is along these lines:

"I am going to have babies when I get older. I want a girl. Oh. No. I want two girls. And guess what daddy said, mommy? He said that when I get just a little bigger and I go to school that I CAN HAVE BABIES!!!!" (cue ecstatic amounts of jumping up and down)

I say, "What kind of school and what level of education are we talking about here? Are you talking about when you start school?" (in just a year and a half???)

"YEP!"

I say, "Well, mommy says that you can't have babies until you are done with college or you're at least 30 years old, whichever comes first."

Cue the heads turned to the side with the look of a big question mark on their faces, and then, "mommy, how many is 30?"

I hold up all of my fingers, hide my fingers, hold up all of my fingers, hide my fingers, then hold up all of my fingers again. "That is 30."

"Mommy, that's a really long time," in a whiney tone.

The talk, I feel, is going to come very early for us. Very early, indeed.

Fortunes to Remember

2009-02-07T19:38:00.001-08:00

Tonight we went out for a Chinese food dinner at one of our favorite places. It's always tough going out with girls because of their ages, and we usually opt for a place that is an all you can eat salad palace of infinite choice pickings in hopes that they will eat something. Josh and I were in the mood for Chinese, and we were hoping that tonight they wouldn't be their usual picky selves and enjoy the chow mein and shrimp sitting before them. They did enjoy it, and in spite of a glass breaking (don't ask), them trying to open the doors of the emergency exit (again, don't ask), and multiple "I have to go the potty" shrieks, we came out alive. Hey, at least no one got poked in the eye with a chopstick (yes, it has happened before). It was all worth it when we got to the fortune cookies. The girls chose their own cookie, and it is absolutely imperative that I document what their fortunes told them tonight.

Olivia's said:

Good things come to those who wait. Be patient.

Beautifully said, for Olivia is so impatient and wants to catch up with her sister as fast as she can. I doubt she will listen to the advice of this fortune for many years to come. Who can blame her. She is, after all, almost three.

Bea's said:

You could prosper in the field of medicine.

Now there's some food for thought. I have often thought that is where her life could take her, even as a veterinarian because of her love for animals. I guess we'll have to see if that is where her life does take her, and if it does, we will have known very early on.

4 is....Um, Yeah

2009-01-29T15:21:00.000-08:00

So I’m trying to think of some good adjective that goes with “4” along the lines of “Terrible Twos”, but I’m coming up totally blank. Both my girls are so, so, so, so different from each other. While Olivia seems to mellow out with age, I’m finding Bea to resist the happy child in her to see what she can take full advantage of.

Her 2’s were more like the “terrific two’s” and we never really saw a tantrum. As for the 3’s, whenever she didn’t like what we had to say, she would basically give herself her own time-out by running to her room and crying for a few minutes and then coming back like not much happened. I’ve heard that the 4's are the worst age, and that kids generally snap out of the chaos, tantrums, etc. at 5. Though, 4? We’re just a few weeks in...and we have at least eleven more months of stuff like this:

Bea: Momma, I’m this many, huh? (she holds up three fingers)
Me: No, honey. You need to add one more finger. You’re four now, not three.
Bea: NO MOM! I’M NOT THAT MANY (in loud screechy tone)!
Me: Bea, you don’t need to yell at me about it. But you are 4, not 3.
Bea: I’M NOT THAT MANY. YOU’RE WRONG! YOU’RE WRONG! (repeat about 20 times)
Me: You need to stop screaming at me right now and calm down.
Bea: You are the meanest mommy EVER!
Me: …
Bea: … (sticks out tongue at me)

So in addition to this little episode, when she doesn’t like something that I tell her, she will now say “you’re so fuzzy, mom!” Which, my interpretation of fuzzy is...something along the lines of bitchy.

With Josh working a lot lately, it’s been a lot to deal with. I can only hope that it’s a phase. Because during these episodes I really miss my bright-eyed, happy-go-lucky girl.

To Beatrice, on her 4th Birthday

2009-01-11T07:00:00.000-08:00

Dear Beatrice,

It feels like I just wrote a letter not too long ago for your last birthday, but I guess that a year has already gone by. I just can't believe that you are four years old today. A part of me is sad that you are growing up, but there is also a lot of happiness, too. Watching you grow over the last year has been amazing, as you are truly coming into your own.

The constant that has been around since you were born is your happiness. Even when you wake up in the morning, you are so happy. The other morning when I went into your room, I thought I heard you being grouchy. I asked Olivia if you were grouchy and she said that you were. So when I went in there and asked you, you started laughing and said, "No, mom. I'm never grouchy in the morning. I'm always happy!" It's so true.

One thing I noticed about you this last year is how much you love to sing. I often found you singing songs that I had never heard of. Or, we would be driving somewhere and you would see something along the way and start singing about what you saw, like trees, or a song about mommy and daddy. Not too long ago it hit me. Inside of you was something so similar to someone I once knew, your great grandfather Brown. Someone you will never meet which is unfortunate, but someone who I had the chance to know for part of my life. You're just like him, I noticed - the happy demeanor, and the breaking into song whenever the opportunity presents itself about nothing in particular. I wish you had the chance to know him because you are so much like him.

It's hard for me to not write a big, sappy sentimental letter to you, and I promised myself that I would keep this one short and sweet. However, I will note as I have in past letters how much you mean to me, and all of us. I would have never thought I could have such a happy child, someone who always lights up a room. Someone who's made me smile or laugh when I just might have wanted to cry. Beatrice, everyone that has the pleasure of knowing you or meeting you for just a brief moment is so lucky. It breaks my heart when other kids don't want to play with you at the park or somewhere else and ignore you and all you want to do is talk to them and be their friend. The life-is-full-of-heartbreaks discussion is for another time, but I will say that those kids just don't know what they're missing out on.

The song I chose for your video this year is the perfect choice. Hearing it always reminds me of you. The Music Box Dancer piece is you completely. You're the dancer, always dancing when there's light around. I imagine any child that opens up a music box, well, their eyes light up hearing the music and seeing the dancer. And that is just the reaction I get whenever I see you...

Happy birthday, dear Beatrice. I love you...so very much.

Love,
Mama

All about Bea:

Birth Story
Year 2 Video
Year 3 Video

Coming Back Soon

2009-01-09T16:16:00.000-08:00

This week has kind of blown up for a number of reasons...

...It's the first full week back to work for both of us, and back to our old routine which was abandoned for three weeks
...Josh has been working late every night
...Olivia has now said "thaaaat's nasty, mommy!"
...Bea's birthday party is this coming weekend
...I had cake issues that were resolved and we will, yes, have a cake on Sunday
...I'm trying to wrap up Bea's birthday video
...Did I mention that Olivia said "That's nasty?"

Anyway, there's a lot going on here. And we are very much looking forward to Bea's birthday this weekend. Stay tuned for her video to make its appearance on Sunday. Also, why does 4 seem so old to me? I mean, she is definitely not a toddler anymore. And she talks more like a grown up. More on that on Sunday, as I'm feeling excitment and sadness of this event. I just can't believe it has been nearly four years that she's been with us already....

Resolutions

2009-01-01T10:24:00.000-08:00

Things I resolve to do in 2009...

1. Write that query letter and start writing that book. Eek.

2. Take a dance class. Would prefer to do the partner dance and learn the tango, but I'm pretty sure Josh won't join me, so it's looking like a solo-style dance class.

3. Walking/Running at least 3x a week.

4. Re-decorate the bedroom. (I'm already on my way!)

5. Enlist the girls in a dance/gymnastics/soccer class. Seperate classes so they can have their own experiences.

6. Make 3 new real friends in San Jose, preferably one's with children around the same age.

7. Complete the half marathon in October 09 and beat my 2008 finish time.

8. Laugh more.

9. Start an "I'm thankful" journal and write in it 3x a week as a reminder of how lucky I truly am.

10. More one-on-one time with Josh, Bea, and Olivia. Everyone needs individual attention to feel truly special.

Happy New Year!!

New Year's Meme

2008-12-31T08:10:00.000-08:00

I'm not big on the meme's but this one struck a cord with me. I haven't written out New Year's resolutions in a very long time, but this year, I am all over it. Some of the questions here I am taking a pass on, but I found this one to be fun, reflecting on the past year.

1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before? A half marathon with my friend, Lisa. We're planning to do it again in 2009.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I didn't make any for 2008, and yes, I am making some for 2009.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Yes.

4. Did anyone close to you die? Thankfully, no.

5. What countries did you visit? I didn't leave the US.

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008? More friends near to me.

7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? October 5th, the day of the half marathon. December 17th, the kids first trip to Disneyland.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? I see a repeating pattern happening here. The 1/2 marathon. No way I can forget those 13.1 miles.

9. What was your biggest failure? There will be no negativity here.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Injury from the half marathon for about six weeks.

11. What was the best thing you bought? I absolutely love the wallet I got for my birthday in which I used a Macy's gift card for, along with a matching coin purse that I found at Anthropologie.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? Obama.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Passing on this one...

14. Where did most of your money go? As usual, mortgage and daycare.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? The olympics and the presidential election. And also our trip down south this month.

16. What song will always remind you of 2008? There are a lot that come to mind...

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Happier
b) thinner or fatter? Thinner
c) richer or poorer? Richer

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? Less work, more time with the family.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Work, work, work.

20. How did you spend Christmas? With Josh and the girls, and some of it with Josh's family. This year's Christmas was present overload.

21. Did you fall in love in 2008? Always in love...

22. What was your favorite TV program? LOST

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? Not answering this one, either...

24. What was the best book you read? I didn't read as much as I would have liked to, but I did read a series of books by Emily Giffin (Something Borrowed, Something Blue, and Baby Proof) which I loved. I just couldn't get on the Twilight bandwagon.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery? A number of new artists that people sent me for music to train for the 1/2 marathon. My favorite being the Ting Tings.

26. What did you want and get? Oh, a new flat panel TV with built in DVD for our bedroom, which I've wanted for so long!

27. What did you want and not get? Well, I still want this damn Bulova watch, which is way too expensive, but I am so infatuated with it.

28. What was your favorite film of this year? I saw a bunch of movies that I rented and weren't produced this year because I was so far behind on any movie watching - many which I loved including The Notebook and The Holiday. I went to the movies only twice and saw the SATC movie, which I loved, and Madagascar 2, with the kids.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 29 once again this year, he he. Josh took me to my favorite Mexican eatery, Sinaloa, among many other things.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? More improvements to the house, but at least we're getting somewhere now.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008? More fashionable than year's past, that's for sure. I'm a skirt girl, with high heel sandals in the summer and boots in the winter. And I've added more accessories this year. I'd like to say there has been imnprovement.

32. What kept you sane? My husband by far...and coming home from work to two happy girls.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Obama.

34. What political issue stirred you the most? California's prop 8 by far. I thought California was more accepting of equality, but it appears that wasn't the case at all.

35. Who did you miss? A lot of people and too many to name...all those family and friends that are dear to me and who are not within 30 miles of me.

36. Who was the best new person you met? My east coast work counterpart by far...

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008. It is wrong to let your kids pee freely, whether in the parking lot of a zoo or your own backyard.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find love love love love

Listen to the music of the moment people, dance and sing
We're just one big family
And it's our God-forsaken right to be loved loved loved loved loved

--Jason Mraz, I'm Yours

Happy New Year to all....

The Trip Down South...

2008-12-22T20:46:00.000-08:00

We're back...

I don't think I had anything to worry about as far as how long we would be in the car driving down to Los Angeles. It took us eight hours to get there (damn that LA traffic, not to mention that the grapevine had been closed up until a half hour before we got there due to snow). I thought that we were going to be out of our minds on the way down when Bea asked "are we there yet" a half hour into the drive. But, I didn't really have much to worry about. The girls watched movies and slept, and the ride back was just over five hours and was quite a breeze.

So, what wasn't such a breeze? Well, remember how I recently lost my iPod (and then found it)? And then remember how I recently lost my camera (and didn't find it)? Well, if there ever was a case of things happening in 3's, then this was it. And it was my most valued possession...my precious engagement ring. It was lost for 3 days. I swore I had it on my hand while we were at Disneyland, and then on the drive home I discovered that I was not wearing it. I panicked. And then we were sure it was gone forever if I really did truly lose it at Disneyland. My brother looked through his photos and it appeared to be missing from one of the first rides. Then, my mom said to dump out my purse. It wasn't there. Upon returning home and cleaning out my suitcase, there it sat, all by itself near my makeup bag. If only I had cleaned out my suitcase that night, I could have been relieved a lot quicker. I snatched up that ring as soon as I spotted it and threw it back on my finger. So the third missing item is now found...and there shall be no more missing items. I've had my three, and that's final. No more.

The visit was more than a good time. I saw family that I hadn't seen in a while, and we took the girls to Disneyland, along with my brother and his wife, V. I think we might have called it wrong when we took the girls on to Mr. Toad's Wild Ride for their first ride. After that experience, one where you hear a child screaming and crying when the ride comes to a halt, was a first hand experience for me. Olivia wanted to ride with me and was so excited to sit in the car and pretend to steer, but things turned ugly real fast when explosions happened and things flashed, and oh, it was just so noisy. Every indoor ride after that was the same, even the Winnie the Pooh ride, which I had never been on before and deemed it surely had to be mellow, was not her cup of tea. And neither was It's A Small World. Bea did just a step above her, but didn't like a lot of the indoor rides either. I really wanted to take Bea on Splash Mountain, and she even saw the people coming down the huge, main drop, and she was just tall enough. She begged to go on. But, we did pass in the end. I think their favorites were the Dumbo ride and Nemo submarine, and they always like carousels. We also did the teacups, with me and Bea spinning super fast, and Josh and Olivia taking it easy. Bea loved it, and so did I. The big thing we wanted to do was see the princesses, and the only princess that they were most interested in seeing was Ariel. Unfortunately, after waiting a good half hour to forty-five minutes, they switched out the princesses. We were nearly ten people away from the entrance when we saw Ariel saunter off, and then it was just a disaster when they let us in to see Mulan, Snow White, and Sleeping Beauty. I just can't tell that story.

Family time was awesome, and we enjoyed seeing everyone and spending some time enjoying the holiday season, too....

The beautiful castle...the girls are in the bottom left corner. Yes, Olivia wore her princess dress to Disneyland:

Aunt V and Bea in the monkey cage (as were the rest of us) on the Casey Jr. train:

The girls kept themselves occupied while we stood in line:

She saw something cool and let the world know it:

With dad in line at Roger Rabbit (yet, another mistake on our part):

The best damn corndogs in the world are at Disneyland (who knew??) and can throw you into a tizzy:

Fortunately, we didn't need to make any stops here:

Before the Pooh ride...can you tell?

My bro, V, Josh and the girls waiting for the submarine to take them to find Nemo:

Todd and O on the carousel - our last ride:

And my favorite pic from the happiest place on earth (for most):

I have to include some family photos in here...so you have to believe me when I said I took close to 200 photos on our trip, and I'm just picking a few notables:

Four generations:

O kissing the newest member of the family, Tanner:

Bea was grumpy, so in order for her to oblige with a family photo I yelled "Oh MY GOSH...I SEE WALL-E OVER THERE!" Hence, the look on O's face as she tries to see where exactly Wall-e is, and Bea is so happy he is there, for just a second:

Mom and Dad really liked their present:

O lights a candle on the menorah for the first time:

The magnificent seven:

The Hannukah pinata was a new addition to the festivities this year, but was a hit and will continue for years to come:

She loved my aunt's holiday village, and continued to rearrange it every chance she got:

My brother is bound to post more photos (and he is a much better photographer than myself) sometime soon. If you're lucky, you might see some pretty funny ones of me...I tend to mess up a lot of photos with funny faces. He's at www.thalimer.com.

Now we're just getting ready for Christmas around here...