CHEDWICK UNIVERSITY

Breaking News: Montblanc Vanishes!

2008-09-08T19:11:00.000-07:00

When other faculty members wandered over to Montblanc's place, they found his office and apartment completely empty. "He even took the lightbulbs, switchplates and doorknobs," one faculty member explained. "The place was really clean." Montblanc left no forwarding address, but a post it note on the wall said Au revoir!

Back to Campus!

2008-09-05T10:09:00.000-07:00

Don't forget to catch one of the campus buses at midnight in Clarkstown.

Opening day celebrations include the all-you-can-eat candy apple buffet. (apple varieties include Granny Smith, Gala, Early McIntosh, and Crabapple)

Great News! A sno cone machine has been donated by the Vallebuona family.

Free bicycles for everyone!

Campus Snax Expands Options

2008-08-17T19:09:00.000-07:00

Our main campus snack bar, Campus Snax, is under new management and most of the snacks available are new and exciting.

The Campus Snax name will be changed to 한과 .

In other unrelated news, all piano students will be required to take the following classes:

Conversational Korean 101, 102, 103
Korean Composition 101 & 102
Korean Hangul Writing Structure 101 & 102
The Cinema of Korea (Korean Film Studies)
Ancient Korean History
South Korean History
Windows on Asia: North Korea, Yesterday & Today

Music Theory 101
Music Appreciation 101

Fruits On Campus

2008-08-10T16:11:00.000-07:00

August and September are very fruity months on the Ched U campus. The rare Asian plum trees are bursting forth.

Besides blueberries, raspberries, pears and apples, the campus also boasts plenty of blackberries.

Niagra Grapes were planted just a few years ago.

We would like to start an actual orchard and a Christmas tree farm on campus, but we need volunteers.

House of Four Doors to be built on Campus

2008-07-24T03:10:00.000-07:00

Mystery spread it's cloak across the sky, we'd lost our way.
Shadows fell from trees, they knew why.

Then through the leaves a light broke through,
A path lost for years led us through.

House of four doors, I could live there forever,
House of four doors, would it be there forever.

Loneliness, the face of pilgrim's eyes looked on,
As the door opened wide.

Beauty, they had found before my eyes to see,
And to the next door we came.

Love of music, showed in everything we heard,
Through the third door where are we?

Enter in, all ye who seek to find within,
As the plaque said on the last door.

(House of Four Doors Video/ The Moody Blues)

OK, just watching that video made the trustees high. So here's another: Thinking is the Best Way to Travel

The Uni Classifieds

2008-07-20T00:03:00.000-07:00

Announcement: The Second Annual Campus Jeff Lynne Fan Club Dance will be held next Saturday. Last year 8 people (including Jeff ) attended, and we hope for an even better turn out this year. Let's make this year's dance a real fun time.

Help Wanted: Assistant Saucier Experience Necessary, must have own saucepans. Apply in person at dining hall.

Help Wanted: Graphic Artist to design the definitive Eyeball Logos for all C.U. teams.

Help Wanted: Someone to clean up all of the string on campus and wind it into giant balls. Must be able to climb trees and enjoy working outdoors.

Missing: dining hall chef, resembles Danny Devito, we forget his name but he was very nice and just vanished one day, leaving his wallet and all other personal effects behind. Any Info would be appreciated.

Personal: K, I am so sorry, please forgive me, it was a fluke, I swear, Like I said the last time, it will never ever happen again. Sincerely, Jeff Lynne

For Sale: Hibachi - gently used. Possibly less than gently used, but still possibly usable. contact Jeff Lynne.

Wanted: writer, artist, and serious business person with show bizzy experience and plenty of paper, to restore the popularity of an old newsletter. Contact Jeff Lynne.

Your Home Away From Home

2008-07-17T00:41:00.000-07:00

Always remember that the Ched U campus is your home away from home. You're always welcome.

Campus News:

*The giant mice have all left campus and gone to Los Angeles with Stuart Little (who visited campus last week and offered them roles in a horror movie he's producing next year. They're off to taking acting lessons.)

*The sink holes made by the giant mice have been repaired and we no longer need to use the rope bridge to get to the dining hall.

*A new chef has been hired for the dining hall. The old chef is still missing.

*Campus Want Ads will be posted every Sunday.

Happy Birthday Stuart Little!

2008-07-10T00:28:00.000-07:00

The Big Man on Campus this week is Stuart Little.

Members of The Ched U Eyeball Cheer Squad organized a birthday bash at the Eyeball Lounge for Stuart who is now 63 years young.

Dean Sneed authorized the purchase of new barstools for the Eyeball Lounge.

Join the Party!

Latest Campus Fad

2008-07-03T11:05:00.000-07:00

The latest fad on campus is to wear moccasins made by Native Canadians. Betty does beading for Prairie Moon --one of the Canadian companies that makes moccasins.

It's a hip look and comfortable too.

Students may be sporting Mukluks next winter. Kate Moss bought black Mukluks from Prairie Moon and she looks HOT in them.

Campus Transportation News

2008-06-26T04:24:00.000-07:00

The Unicycle Lanes have been use for a week now and are working fine.

A major fuel-free transportation plan is in the works at Chedwick U.

Students are busy building Conestoga wagons, which, in a perfect world would be pulled by the giant mice who are now just lounging around campus.

Amusement on Campus

2008-06-19T00:30:00.000-07:00

The admissions office has a nifty new doorway, thanks to Dean Sneed's handling of the funds for buying new computers, etc... for the admissions office. This amusing Jaws entryway falls under the Dean's new plan to label 99% of funds as Etcetera Funds.

The doorway leads to a meet and greet area where various faculty members will attempt to scare the applicants. "We don't want students that frighten easily at Ched U." one professor explained.

Bridge to the Dining Hall

2008-06-12T20:51:00.000-07:00

Until the sinkholes caused by the giant mice are filled in, students will need to use this rope bridge to get to and from the dining hall.

Today's Menu:
Pizza Sticks

BlogFest 2008

2008-06-08T17:33:00.000-07:00

Chedwick U's First Annual BlogFest 2008 is August 1-4 2008. . Please let us know if you are attending the event.

Day 1 - Friday- Campus meet and greet
Day 2 -Saturday-general pandemonium
Day 3- Sunday- some attendees will be driving to nearby Bethel to attend the annual Hippiefest concert & freakout.
Day 4- Monday- Recovery Day, organizing transportation, (some people may need to stay a few days longer.)
Day 5- Day 6- Blogfest officially ends on Wednesday August 6 at noon. You don't need to go home, but you must leave campus.

This is not a virtual event-- this will actually be happening. RESERVE a space now, on Campus. spaces are filling up. Once the indoor spaces are full, we'll have to ask you to bring your own tents or campers. Plenty of space for up to 6 RVs or campers and 100s of tents.

Students Prepare for Theme Thursday

2008-06-03T00:00:00.000-07:00

Girl student: The theme is ORANGE so maybe we should water down the tequila with some Tang or something.

Boy student: Don't be a lightweight! The funnel provides enough orange for theme day.

Girl student: I still want to make an orange cocktail. This funnel stuff is not ladylike.

Boy student: Wonder what the trustees and Faculty are going to come up with.

Big Mice on Campus

2008-05-28T20:48:00.000-07:00

Ched U science students release the first batch of SuperMice to destroy the killer gypsy moths. The Fiber Arts students made little fleecy pullovers for the super mice to wear, as they are hairless. The mice are doing a good job of pointing at gypsy moth nests and discussing a plan of attack.

We have hired a professor of photography. Seen here, hard at work on a photo documentary of campus life. Please Welcome Ms. Kim. We are lucky to have talked her into ... we are lucky to have her on the Chedwick campus.

The Chedwick Campus is open for the Summer Session! Welcome students, faculty and visitors!

The Seamy Side of Campus Life

2008-05-20T20:52:00.000-07:00

We returned to the Ched U campus and were horrified at the vast number of nasty gypsy moth nests we saw!

We got busy poking the nests and beating the evildoers to death with sticks. It was a gruesome job, but we had to do it!

Ched U science students are busy creating a race of SUPER field mice to completely obliterate the nasty gypsy moth invaders.

Exhibition Highlights

2008-05-06T13:27:00.001-07:00

(Click to enlarge)

On May 3rd the Campus hosted an exhibition of the Sneed Collection: Paperweights and Cookie jars.

Today, the Cookie Jar portion of the the exhibition was packed up to prepare for the move to its new home. The photo above shows 1/8th of Sneed's impressive collection.

Those who missed viewing The Sneed Collection on May 3rd, will be glad to at least see these highlights. These are Dean Sneed's favorite cookie jars. Each has a sentimental memory and long droning story attached to it.

Sneed's most prized Cookie Jar is "The Cathy." The story behind this cookie jar made many people in the crowd cry a little. It was so sad, some people had to leave before seeing the entire exhibit. Dean Sneed was an excellent and thorough guide, willing to take the time to chat at length about each individual cookie jar.

"The Big Boy." The story behind this one was so convoluted that the dean has agreed to tell it again, with an interpreter, at some future date.

The exhibition drew crowds from all over the Catskill Region and raised almost $2,000 for the dean's fund.

The Sneed Tower

2008-04-30T22:04:00.000-07:00

The tower addition to the dean's office was completed on Saturday. A team of decorators worked furiously to get the space ready for occupancy. The occupant, (Dean Sneed) had insisted on a tower, but not an ivory tower. "Something cheerier!" The dean requested. The dean's main office will now occupy two levels of the tower and one turret with outdoor terrace, (not seen from this angle.) His former offices will be occupied by his paperweight and cookie jar collections which he has graciously donated to the school as The Sneed Collection.

There will public showing of The Sneed Collection: Paperweights and Cookie jars on Saturday May 3rd. There are still tickets available at the Ched U box office (which needs someone to run it.)

$10.00 for children under 12, senior citizens and Todd
$7.50 for the general public
$1.25 for Ched U students and faculty

Our New Meditation Center

2008-04-21T10:28:00.000-07:00

We will continue working on our meditation center and will be planting 'chocolate peppermint' plants (seen above) all around the center as a ground cover. The center is located at our actual campus and should be ready for student use by June 1st. If any student would like to offer a pleasant thought, quote, or meditation technique, that would be great.

Making Music on Campus !

2008-04-10T06:55:00.000-07:00

A truckload of musical instruments arrived on campus this morning. Every Chedwick Uni student can choose any instrument (or three) from this list: There are plenty for all!

BUTTON BOX ACCORDION
THERAMIN
OCARENA
HURDY GURDY
UILLEANN PIPES
BODHRAN

Please note all Bodhráns were hand crafted using the finest goatskins.
Please note: Goat Curry this week's special entree in the Ched U dining hall.

A Message from the President

2008-03-24T07:42:00.000-07:00

NEWS:
Things are going well here at Ched U. Our Official Spring Break ends on Wednesday and all students are expected to wander back into classrooms sooner or later. Our Librarian is waiting for the new Library building to be completed and for next issue of OPE to arrive. Our school of music is focusing on the works of Leonard Cohen. Many of our students spent their Spring Break Holiday protesting the war in Iraq, and /or the situation between Tibet and China. The C.U. Eyeballs Mini Golf Team is busy practicing for their game against the Brookville Bladders on Saturday. We are looking forward to opening our actual campus in the Catskills next month. There were a few break-ins while the campus was closed, but the mice who broke in will be leaving again as soon as the President is once again in residence. Our very first student, Catlin has been awarded the "student of the year" award for 2007.
This summer we look forward to the expansion of the finger paint studio, the creation of a Buddhist Studies Center, and we invite you to share your ideas to improve life on both campuses.

Smithee Film Institute at C.U.

2008-03-12T14:40:00.000-07:00

Dr. Alan Smithee in his beautiful screening room office at Chedwick University.

Welcome Alan Smithee!
Smithee is the Director of Film Studies at our new film institute, and will be hiring teachers for television and media classes.

NO CLASSES TODAY, MARCH 12,

JACK KEROUAC'S BIRTHDAY: Official School Holiday

The Chedwick Conservatory of Music

2008-03-08T15:23:00.000-08:00

Professor Bench, Musicologist Extraordinaire, will be supervising, (in an official capacity) any and all goings-on at the Conservatory.

Welcome Professor Bench!

Mayhem Squad, C.U. Eyeballs

2008-03-05T19:41:00.000-08:00

The Mayhem Mini Golf Cheer squad is recruiting members this month! The Queen of the Mayhem will be coaching the squad as well as forming Greek Societies on the C.U. Campus. (Because the Queen is a control freak and her life isn't crazy enough already.) The Mayhem Squad promises to be controversial.
If you have any suggestions or wish to try out, sign up in the comments section below.

We will also need some original cheers.

"Go Eyeballs,
C.U. Now,
Go Eyeballs,
C.U. later!"

Education News

2008-03-01T17:42:00.000-08:00

Miss Tut Tut has joined Chedwick University as Professor of Advanced Fiber Arts. She is currently looking for an assistant. Welcome Miss Tut Tut!