ChillyMama

Savage gets it right again

2009-07-04T09:48:00.000-07:00

From this week's Savage Love column:

A new euphemism: When someone cheats on a spouse, that should be known as "hiking the Appalachian Trail" in honor of South Carolina governor Mark Sanford.

But I have to say that Adultery Confessional Theater is getting tired. Can our culture start to deflate the drama on extramarital affairs a little? Bill Clinton, Eliot Spitzer, Larry Craig, Jon and Kate, John Ensign, Mark Sanford: Yes, it sucks if kids are involved and it often leads to divorce. But I wonder if setting the panic bar a bit lower wouldn't save more marriages. Maybe we should embrace the fact that few of us will remain monogamous over the long life of a marriage.

Anne In NJ

I'm with you, AINJ: At the bottom of all these sex scandals—Sanford, Ensign, Spitzer, et al.—is our unnatural fixation on monogamy. Human beings, male or female, aren't wired to be sexually monogamous, and the feigned shock with which we're required to greet each new revelation of infidelity on the part of an elected official, a reality-show star, or a sports figure would be comical if the costs weren't so great. Elevating monogamy over all else—insisting that it, and it alone, is the sole measure of love and devotion—destroys countless marriages, families, and careers.

Which is not to say that people shouldn't honor their commitments or that there aren't folks out there capable of remaining monogamous over the five-decade course of a marriage or that the hypocrisy of assholes like Sanford—who called on President Clinton to resign during Monicagate—isn't worthy of censure. But think of all the people who've cheated and gotten caught. Now think about all the people who've cheated and gotten away with it. Our idealized notions about sex—within marriage and without—are at war with who and what we are. Sex is powerful; relationships are fragile. Why on earth do we insist on pitting them against each other?

[CAVEAT: Unless, of course, you're Chilly & Sweetie, who've 'been there, done that' and have passed through the test of fire. Discovery of life-long love at an advanced age can lead to a much more interesting and satisfying long-term relationship.]

Happy Independence Day!

2009-07-03T23:05:00.000-07:00

YAY! FIREWORKS!!!

NOT the Madonna!

2009-06-30T18:15:00.000-07:00

This is supposed to be Madonna advertising some Louis Vuitton products. Only the photo is so freaking photoshopped that they might as well just have drawn a picture of her and saved a ton of money! Honestly! Where are the sunken eyes in the death-mask face? The stick arms complete with bulging veins and pointed elbows? Puh-leese.

June is busting out all over

2009-06-30T13:36:00.000-07:00

Things are looking pretty good these days. Well, at least since I pulled myself out of this latest job-&-money-merry-go-round of depression. Sweetie has been my rock, my lifesaver. His encouragement keeps me going every day.

Anyway, got plans to go back to school to renew my phlebotomy certification (you know, the vampire lady who sticks you for blood) - and I might have a new job. It could very well pan out into something good...! Keeping my fingers crossed. Metaphorically speaking, of course.

Positive thinking usually works. I'm gonna keep trying.

Oh, and all my flowers are blooming happily, making the house so cheerful and pretty! Sweetie bought some herbs for the garden, and his cantaloupe plant is finally looking like it will produce fruit. (Not bad for a plant that took several beatings from hailstorms this season.) I anticipate some yummy dishes in our future!

More Celebrity Bric-a-Brac Theater

2009-06-27T09:32:00.000-07:00

Funnies from the guys who bring us Chad Vader:

Five stars!

As the world mourns

2009-06-26T08:32:00.001-07:00

I'm figuring that I am one of the few people on planet Earth who really couldn't care less about Michael Jackson's death. (And by that I mean there is no possible way I could give less of a shit about it. Really.) He was a contemporary of mine, he and I grew up in the same times but vastly different worlds. For a time I actually felt sorry for the guy, what with his dysfunctional upbringing and the problems of dealing with great fame at such a young age. But then he got WEIRD, molested some boy children, turned white, then tried to convince us that those white children he bought were his bio kids - and I just sort of segued into disgust, then complete indifference. The thing is, I always kind of intuited that MJ was going to die early. His light burned too brightly to last very long.

Turned on CNN last evening to get some scoop on all the hoopla and I swear they are treating Michael's death just like Princess Diana's! Speculation, video footage of the coroner's office taking his body, retrospective montages, statements from friends, colleagues, family and fans. In my mind it officially became farce when I read the title of this post in yet-another-article about this event.

The only thing I want to know is what's going to happen to his children? I'm sure that question will be answered eventually. Just curious if the mother(s) are going to step up or what.

In case anyone noticed, Farrah Fawcett died yesterday too. Not that I'm going to shed tear one over her either, just sayin'.

Snoop and the Amazing Doc Rendezvous

2009-06-24T15:27:00.000-07:00

Try as one might to believe that fiction can ever be stranger than the truth, wellllll...

... you just can't make this stuff up.

(Photo from timesonline.com)

2009-06-21T15:59:00.000-07:00

I called & wished mine a good day. He sounded pretty good. Sweetie's dad too.

Per usual, dad had to tell me his latest bad joke. (My father has forgotten more bad jokes than most people ever knew.)

So here, in honor of the day:

"Why does the chicken coop have only two doors?"

"Because if it had 4 doors it would be a sedan."

[ba-dum-bum]

"It is an exciting time to be a nerd."

2009-06-20T11:10:00.000-07:00

John Hodgman at the Radio and Television Correspondents' Dinner last night - as funny as the Prez, but way nerdier.

Happy sauntering

2009-06-19T08:47:00.001-07:00

Good grief, how did the time go by so quickly? It's already World Sauntering Day again! I must get out and practice my sauntering in preparation for our big trip to Ireland (in Nov.). I plan to saunter as much as possible while there.

SAUNTER: 'sontur

[n] a leisurely walk (usually in some public place)
[n] a careless leisurely gait; "he walked with a kind of saunter as if he hadn't a care in the world"
[v] walk leisurely and with no apparent aim

Cheers!

Social networking

2009-06-15T14:51:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I feel like a complete dinosaur. I've been online since the old BBS days (google it, ya whippersnapper) and every time I feel like I've got a handle on the newest thing, here comes the NEXT newest thing. I only joined MySpace in order to kind of keep tabs on my kids - all of 'em, including the ones I didn't give birth to. I avoided Facebook for as long as possible but then dear friend Mary's darling daughter invited me to join and I got roped in. Apparently MySpace is now out and Facebook is in, so I don't spend much time on MySpace anymore. I'm probably missing something but am beyond caring. More and more names keep showing up on Facebook so I keep friending people.. and I'm just about overwhelmed.

Now there's Twitter, the most useless fad invented (to date) - in my humble opinion, natch. I mean, really! Why, oh why do I need to know the up-to-the-minute latest thoughts spewing from the feeble minds of idiots like John Mayer and Ashton Kutcher? I thank the ghods that I don't have a damn cell phone so I at least have an excuse for not twittering, or tweeting, or whatever lame-ass term is used for bothering strangers at all hours with each and every one of your foolish thoughts.

Christ. It makes me long for hard-wired phones and computers, for the days when if someone had something to say they had to call you, and if you weren't there they had to call back! Don't look for me on the Twitter any time soon. I'm already maxed out on the Facebook thing.

Not buying any more video machines either. I have access to Hulu for television, YouTube for old videos, and I have a library card for everything else, thankyouverymuch!

UPDATE: I'm not the only one who thinks these things are bad: Family time eroding as Internet use soars

Happy birthday, Sweetie!

2009-06-10T09:23:00.000-07:00

So happy every day to have my soulmate by my side. I chose well. ;-)

Life is like a box of chocolates

2009-06-07T12:19:00.001-07:00

I was going to post a diatribe on the horror of becoming a 50-year-ollllllld woman but instead choose to post things that make me laugh. Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my century - I am damn well going to attempt to enjoy it!

A votre sante! Slainte! Cheers!!

Oh my

2009-06-02T14:11:00.000-07:00

This is gorgeous...

Via ModBlog

OMG! It's my ex!

2009-06-02T08:47:00.001-07:00

CLICK TO ENLARGE

Still chuckling... (VIA)

The big 2 -1

2009-05-30T22:08:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday to Darling Daughter who turned the big 21 today! She's somewhere in Denver partying her ass off with friends and her big brother. Have fun, honey, be careful - I love you!

National Spelling Bee

2009-05-29T12:10:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I watched it. It was fun seeing all those kids spelling words most folks have never even heard before, asking for the language of origin and sussing them out from root words. Toward the end they were kicking my ass big time. Such wonderful personalities too! Once again a homeschooler went to the championship round - yay!

Check out this video from the Washington Post, it is a lot of fun:

If you get a chance, rent or borrow the movie "Spellbound". It has some fairly astute insights into the spelling bee contestant mindset, and focuses on some pretty cute kids. I once participated in a spelling bee back when I was about 14 years old and spelled the first word wrong right off the bat. Knew it the moment the first letter came out of my mouth. I'm here to tell you that I have never forgotten how to spell AUSPICIOUS. :)

Silly FailBlog, some fails are wins!

2009-05-29T10:46:00.000-07:00

This is a fail:

This is NOT a fail:

(Although it is funny!)

And now, for your moment of zen

2009-05-27T10:07:00.000-07:00

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

2009-05-24T20:32:00.000-07:00

I find him intriguing.

(VIA)

The Phone, or A Variation on a Theme

2009-05-24T14:49:00.001-07:00

Ah, the mobile phone. What a noble device. So convenient. So intrusive. So insidious! What a gigantic pain in the ass!

Much like Miss Nina, aka the Flibbertigibbet, I hate being on the phone. I understand its necessity and am okay with using it for lengthy periods of time. Occasionally. But several years of being the only line of communication to my boss coupled with a long-distance romance left Miss Chilly somewhat cold to the notion of extended use of the telephone. Only the privileged few get the special dispensation of a long phone chat.

Additionally, it is my humble opinion that cell phones, crackberries, or any other type of mobile communications device SUCK. OUT LOUD. I can count the number of times they have come in handy to me on one finger. Conversely, the number of times they have become intrusive and impolite and irritating are too many to calculate. Sweetie and I have actually had arguments about answering the bloody thing. I can imagine nothing worse than a dinner companion who spends the time yakking away on their damn cell phone rather than being a companion. The interruption it causes is always annoying. You sit there looking around like a boob, reading the crap on the restaurant walls or the drink menu, while the other person chit-chats on and on with someone who isn't even there. (I hate that.) It is distracting as hell to be wandering along minding one's own business when a stranger seemingly strikes up a conversation - only to find that NO, they're talking on their frigging Bluetooth thing-a-ma-jig and not to you! (Once upon a time in Atlanta, GA my sweetie and I went to a little bitty blues club where the music was oh-so-fine, and a couple came in wearing their stupid Bluetooth earpiece things. We had a good laugh about them even being able to hear each other, much less their stupid phones!) I cringe when I see mothers tooling around in their minivans filled with children and yammering away on their cell phones, barely paying attention to traffic, with their "BABY ON BOARD" placard prominently displayed in the rear window.

I know it's all about connectivity, business, being available to everyone at every minute of every day... But really? Oh! And if we were supposed to answer each and every time, they wouldn't have invented voicemail.

I wish people would release themselves from the tether of that damn mobile device once in a while and just let go, be free. Much like this Post Secret writer, you may find it refreshing to know that you are truly free to go and do whatever you choose without the electronic leash holding you back. Unless the wife is about to give birth or your dad is on his deathbed, there is nothing so pressing that you can't leave the goddamn cell phone at home every once in a while and go have some unfettered fun.

KILL YOUR CRACKBERRY! :D

(VIA)

The life of a mom

2009-05-23T16:13:00.000-07:00

Today, I was driving in my car with my daughter, who was eating a nutri-grain bar. After a while she holds out her hand saying, "It's on my finger! I don't wanna eat it!" I pick up the little piece of nutri-grain filling and put it in my mouth, only to realize it was a large booger.

The best comment? This one: You really don't want to eat anything out of a little kid's hand. They're not too cool on hygiene. OTOH, I'd have loved to see the look on her face when you ate her booger! :D

It's funny because it's true.

(Via FML)

The Dark Ages revisited

2009-05-20T09:25:00.000-07:00

I was utterly stunned when I read this article. To think that tens of thousands of children were abused in such a way by an institution supposedly founded on the virtues of love and forgiveness! It reads like something that might happen in a war-ravaged, third world nation - not Ireland. These children clamored for decades to have their stories heard. I never have been a huge fan of the Catholic church so when I learn of situations like this one, I cannot help but deplore and revile it even more.

Thousands beaten, raped in Irish reform schools

UPDATE: Sweetie points out a couple of items relating to this story, such as a film entitled The Magdalene Sisters, which is a telling of the incarceration of women deemed unfit, unsuitable, shamed, etc., in the Magdalene Laundries - the last of which closed in 1996.

There's also this song by Miss Joni Mitchell...

This is why I don't read People

2009-05-18T13:54:00.001-07:00

In the "Beautiful at Every Age" segment of the Most Beautiful 2009 issue, the brain trust at People features a woman named Kerry Washington, of whom they write: "As a spokesperson for L'Oreal Paris, the N.Y.C. native does her part to show that women are 'worth it' regardless of age, race or gender."

Sweetie points out that, well, drag queens are people too...

(VIA)

Smile!

2009-05-18T13:38:00.000-07:00

If this doesn't make you grin by the end, you're lost.

PS: Congrats to Darling Daughter who passed the semester with a 4.0 GPA and was granted entry onto the President's List! I see big things - and scholarship money! - in your future, baby!