October is Breast Cancer Awareness

2009-10-25T16:03:00.000-07:00

I posted this in 2006 and there is just nothing better to say about it, so REPOST

October is Breast Cancer Awareness month. And it's important to become aware, to care about this disease, this epidemic that affects millions of women in America, no telling how many elsewhere. Most of the women that have it, are undiagnosed. Most of the women that have it, have never done a self-exam. Most of the women that have it, will survive if it's found in time. Most of the women that have it will have to have invasive treatments to save their lives. Some will have part of their breasts removed, Some will have a whole breast removed. Some will have two breasts removed. Some will lose their hair. Some will lose too much weight. Some will lose their spouses, who will be scared of the consequences. Some will grow stronger relationships.Some women will get reconstructive surgery to replace their lost or damaged breast(s). Some women will get a tatoo in its place to signify their triumph.Breast cancer can come back.Men can get breast cancer. It's not common, but happens.95% of women who get breast cancer have no family history of it. It's not a genetic disease, it strikes without prejudice.A healthier diet will help with recovery. A healthier diet is not a vaccine against breast cancer. Chance reducers like breast feeding, not smoking, not drinking in excess are only reducers, not guarantees.Talking about breast cancer, and raising awareness, is only part of the solution.Do a monthly exam. No matter how old you are.Breast cancer can affect the young women as well. It's not as common, but it happens.Get a mammogram starting at 40.If your mother had breast cancer start getting mammograms 10 years before her diagnosis. Not her death, her diagnosis.Early detection can save your life. Early detection can increase your chance of being saved. Early detection can decrease the recovery time. Early detection can give you easier treatment options.It's important. It's not a myth. It's not something other people get. You are not safe if you eat an organic diet. You are not safe if no one in your family ever had cancer. You are not safe if you don't do drugs. You are not safe if you don't smoke. You are not safe if you don't drink.Do monthly exams. This link explains how.http://www.cancer.org/docroot/nws/content/nws_2_1x_how_to_perform_a_breast_self_examination.aspCurrently listening : Greatest Hits: The Road Less Traveled By Melissa Etheridge Release date: By 04 October, 2005

Sometimes you just need a break

2009-10-23T07:13:00.000-07:00

And thats what I've been doing. The kids were sick and it was hard to find time to think, and now I'm just brooding till my latest chick 'hatches'
She, like my other 3, is late. Late, late, late. Evil baby. :)

We are prepared for her. The kids are ready. The weather is right.

And she's not here.

So I'm moody. And thats a hard place to share from.

BUT Halloween is coming, Christmas is around the corner, and I am so in love with the weather, despite it jumping up and down, as long as it doesn't jump up above 70's I'm happy :D

The stress of End of Pregnancy

2009-09-24T17:26:00.000-07:00

Now...I know in about a week I will get daily calls from some relative or friend asking how I'm doing. They will be random, out of the blue, quick calls. Just basic "are you in labor? we don't trust you to tell us if you are in labor." phone calls.

This will be how they play out
ring ring (because cell phones sound like that?)
Me: Hello?
Whomever: Hey!
Me: Hey! Whats goin on
pause
Whomever: Er...nothing, just thought of you and thought I'd give a call. How are you doing?
Me: I'm fine, just gestating.
Whomever: Oh yeah, you'll be getting to the end soon won't you? Totally slipped my mind.
Me: Yep (my teeth are clenched in a smile so I sound happy at this point) towards the middle/end of October!
Whomever: So close?? I had no idea.
Me: I know, its speeding by
Whomever: Okay, well really I was just calling to hear your voice, I gotta go!
Me: Talk to you later
*click*

sigghhhhh

I'm used to it and I just fully expect it at this point. I gloss over those calls and forget em quickly.

What I was NOT expecting and what has caused CONSIDERABLE stress lately is my own little betrayers. Thing 1 and Thing 2 as they deserve to be called for now.

The boy and girl are merciless asking me daily questions about when she will be born and when the baby will be here and what will we do when baby is here, will we still have school, will we still see friends, when when when when when will she be here.

Making me panicked and constantly reminding that a) I will need to give birth again...is there STILL no easier way? No magic wand? Where's that genie of the lamp when I need him/her.
and b) I will be bringing a fourth home.

Normally this is NOT an issue for me. I cope well with the three, I have a sling, strollers, etc. But TODAY I ended up with the 3 of them on errands. This doesn't happen often, we TRY to schedule things so I go to the library for pick up (love online requesting) and we either go grocery shopping as singletons or as a family so 2 parents to help. But because of scheduling issues I HAD to go to the library AND grocery shopping with all three.

They were good. It wasn't 'that' hard. It never is. But today it made me think about tugging along 4. 4 carseats/boosters to tighten, help into, help out of. 4 children to pull out of a car and make sure they stay near so that they are safe in parking lots. 4 children to watch and keep an eye and ear on in various places.

I can do it. I know this.

But I also know it will be a tremendous amount of stress, especially at first.

and that induces the internal mental scream at the thought that this will be happening soon. Which I can normally forget.

Unless the kids KEEP REMINDING ME!

UGHHHH. :)

An Aids vaccine?

2009-09-24T04:09:00.001-07:00

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090924/ap_on_re_as/med_aids_vaccine

how awesome would that be?
I hope all the trials come out correctly!

Kris Allen's Single!

2009-09-22T10:08:00.000-07:00

Awesome!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3WnmNvbomQE&feature=player_embedded#t=106

hooray!

My favorite Etsy shop

2009-09-14T13:32:00.001-07:00

Like so many moms I love the Etsy stuff.

This is my favorite, favorite shop
http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=8054555

hookaholic's shop. she makes fabu stuff and has made my baby her coming home outfit!

she does custom sizes and colors and honestly has the best prices I've seen. I WISH I was that talented :P Jelly.

Its Football Season! WOOOOOTTT

2009-09-13T10:27:00.000-07:00

Redskins kick off at 4 today, against the Giants.

I realize that not everyone loves the football, but in our house today is close to a holiday.

SOOO

Hail to the Redskins
Hail to Victory
Hail to the Redskins
Fight for Old DC

these guys:

say GO SKINS

Yet another 9-11 post

2009-09-11T07:34:00.000-07:00

8 years ago we were all shocked out of a very large and apparently false sense of security. The results have been devastating. Two wars, a potential third, schisms developing between parties that have ripped the nation apart. The deaths are horrific, the injuries too. Our nation has stooped to terrorist tactics to interrogate the enemy. We have impounded people, yet again, for their ethnicity, teens and students held under suspicion.

Our president has been maligned because his name sounds like the terrorists.

We are a humbled and wounded nation.

We've healed some of the immediate pain of loss and destruction. The firefighters, innocent people in the buildings and planes, the police officers, the soldiers that have all lost their lives or their health in some way. Those wounds are all healing.

We need to heal the other wounds. The ones that still pour blood, the ones that still break back open daily when politics drag us apart, when the media RIPS them apart to rub salt in them instead of trying to bring us together. They have the power to do both, but they choose the easier course, the inflammatory course, and its sick.

I don't know how long it will take for our country to be one again. Or if it can be. But I know that in the current state all we are doing is spoiling for a reason to fight. And fight big.

8 years later and we still bleed.

The problem with the 'media' and politics

2009-09-09T07:43:00.000-07:00

Recently there was terrible ugliness about an innocuous speech the President wanted (and did) give to school age children about staying in school and personal responsibility.

It was called indoctrination, socialist, compared to Hitler, etc. etc.
I am shocked at the insinuations that were hurled. But I think the problem doesn't lie with actual politicians.

I think that it comes from the 24 hours tabloid style journalism we have.

Think about the crap that we started dealing with once we had Clinton. What he ate, where he ran, and his poor daughter. Chelsea had to deal with all sorts of negative press and jokes over her awkward phase. Because we are all soooo frickin gorgeous in those teen years? Clinton, God Bless him I respect him as a politician, gave the media the foothold they'd been looking for with his little 'trysts' (if only he'd kept his 'affairs' on the dl like smart men in power...where would we be today) and once that ball got rolling...

And then Bush came, and we had the awkwardness of the contested election (and will anyone ever name their son Chad again?). His...er...verbal slips (which...as a speech prof I cringe at but if speakings not your thing its not your thing) were just fodder for the mill, easy targets. 9-11 opened the door to support for a bit, but the inevitable criticism that is waiting to turn everyone into foaming lunatics. And worse, much worse in my opinion, HIS kids became targets. The bush girls couldn't just grow up making mistakes and being themselves, every misdeed they dealt with was televised and sensationalized. I shudder to think that Malia and Sascha will have to go through all of that (and HAVE actually been pulled in and used by some already)

again, our news is immediate, they need something to say, they need ratings, so they go after what gets people watching. People don't want to hear the fantastic arguments from both sides for the various types of health care reform, they'd rather hear about Michelle Obama baring her arms, wearing shorter shorts (to the frickin HOT grand canyon) than she 'should' and of course, this speech.

We get up in arms over stupid stuff that should barely register with us because these news organizations bring it to our attention and act like the world is ending because by acting that way more people tune in and their ratings go up.

When you find the actual debates over real issues it lasts like 5 minutes and then they move on "speaking of health insurance, did you hear that pelosi and obama have been at odds over this issue and have had a strained relationship" "yes Diane (isn't there always a Diane) the fight has split apart what had been a working team)"

taking a difference of opinion (without explaining that difference of course, cause who wants real news) and turning it into a fight between the people involved. They do it ALL THE TIME and there's no real solution, which sucks even more so.

Its not partisan, it really isn't. Its all stupid, stupid political tabloid journalism.

I'm going to be pregnant forever.

2009-09-05T10:41:00.000-07:00

Or at least I feel that way. I know I'm just hitting that natural spot I always get to. BUT SIIIGGGHHHHHHH.

I have 7-9 weeks to go and its just never going to end.

:P

Warning, Liberal Alert but....

2009-08-27T16:57:00.000-07:00

http://www.2news.tv/news/local/55482562.html
So this guy is making a bid to be Governor of Idaho and says he'd buy tags to shoot Obama.

and

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090827/ap_on_re_us/us_jenkins__great_white_hope
this chick says that the republican party needs a 'great white hope'

um

Can we get some smarter politicians at table 12? Seriously.

I like birthday cake too...but come on kid, a 'little' patience please. :)

2009-08-26T04:55:00.000-07:00

All morning long, since she woke up, the girl has been figuring out what cake to have for her birthday.

Which is cool...except that she's got 6 months till her birthday party.

Just wait little one, no need to leap into 2010 right now. Lets have us some halloween, thanksgiving, and christmas first okay :D

sigh. kids. :D

Inglorious Basterds

2009-08-23T16:18:00.000-07:00

I rarely get to see movies at the theater. And I can count on one hand the times its been opening weekend when I got to go.

I was fortunate enough this weeked to have my mother in law watch my kids so that hubby and I could go catch the film "Inglorious Basterds" a Quentin Tarantino film. I have to say...it was awesome.

We have a 5 star rating system with 5 being a movie you would have to see in order to continue life happily. This was a 4.5. almost a 4.75. Just amazing. Good plot GREAT story the actors were all amazing the script was really nicely written.

I was happy from start to finish. And I can almost never say that.

It is probably not everyone's cup of tea. We happen to love Tarantino, but I was so happy to get to see it now and not on my tv.

Matthew 7:3

2009-08-21T06:19:00.000-07:00

"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?

Because sometimes, a lot of times, I need this reminder, this call that says "I'm not perfect so shut up about other people's problems"

That is all :D

This is my fourth pregnancy. I think I know some things.

2009-08-20T05:13:00.000-07:00

Like: How much water to drink, what is a fixable problem and what is not, what sort of movements I should be feeling, etc.

So WHY did my doctor quiz me like a 15 year old first time mom yesterday acting as if I know nothing?

Sample
"How much water are you drinking?"
'Tons'
"Break it down for me because the last person who said that really meant 20 ounces a day"
'Okay, I have 20 oz tumbler cups, I drink at least 6-8 of those filled a day'
"Yep, thats how much you should have"
'Yeah'

Dude, this is so not my first time at the rodeo, please give me some credit. And no, no I do not want to start the weeklies early.

One of the issues I don't 'get' and come close to judging people on.

2009-08-17T11:26:00.000-07:00

One of the commercials out there for school supplies is a dad pushing a cart while spritely dancing, the song 'its the most wonderful time of the year' playing. The kids trudge reluctantly behind.

you see where this is going yeah?

Why in the world do people dislike their children enough that its the most wonderful time of the year?

I don't get it. I am in no way making a blanket statement. I know its not everyone. And I know some are only glad to have them back on schedules, or happy because the kids are happy, or relieved to not have to find ways to watch their kids in the summer.

But I KNOW people who are seriously 'so relieved' that school is in session because they are not fans of the having kids around thing. I don't get it. It baffles me, truly baffles me! I'm not arguing that you must homeschool and be attached to your kids 24/7 or that you are a bad person for wanting space (lord knows after hearing the boy describe step-by-step how to transform things that I need a good bit of distance and quiet from him) but to not like it enough that you are giddy and excited for THAT ASPECT...it confuses me. Its not really a judgment just a non-understanding. I just don't understand feeling that way.

I know its not most people, but I know 2 of them. 2 different moms that are just so glad to get the kids out of the house. :( Their words. It baffles me.

We are the Gatekeepers er...make that the Gardeners

2009-08-10T18:21:00.000-07:00

I've had a couple of friends lately commenting about what they want or don't want their kids to see/hear. And then they are in turn argued with because they are not 'realistic' and 'kids will see/hear/smell/touch/taste it anyway'.

Which is true.

Despite anything and everything we as parents do our kids will be exposed to the things we don't want them to be. It sucks it does.

But the issue, for me, is how they gain that access.

Lets build a metaphor.

You have a plot of land. It has high walls on all sides and a gate. You are the only one with a key to that gate. You control everything that goes through that gate, in or out. You use the land to either put things you don't want outside of those walls or to store things until the proper time comes to use them.
You control these items for the most part. Sometimes they make it over the walls or under the walls or even through the walls when you don't want them to. But YOU don't bring them through.
Someone else does. That someone else doesn't use the gate. So these things come out tainted. With hints of shame and blame on them making them 'fun' and 'illicit' but with a flaw. Only the things you bring properly through the gate can take shape.

hmmm.
maybe this should be a garden metaphor, this ones getting complicated. Lets try this again.

You have seeds. You can grow whatever you want to with these seeds. But you decide which ones will grow. You keep the soil fertile, you water, nourish, provide the sunlight and plant food to make them healthy and strong and grow fast and strong and take root.

Sometimes you have bad seeds that you push to the side. Sometimes you have seeds for plants that are not supposed to grow yet. You have to sort the seeds and decide whats best to be planted and when to plant them.

Sometimes seeds will get caught by the wind and float off planting themselves. Sometimes others will take a seed and plant it even if you don't want them too. Sometimes a seed just happens to fall from your sleeve cuff because gardening is dirty work and doesn't always work properly.
But these seeds, these accidental, illicit, messy seeds don't grow the same. You didn't put them there on purpose so you don't give them the water they need, the sun they need, the plant food that will make them grow. You can sometimes pull them as weeds. You can sometimes prune them and try to mold them into better plants than you believed they were to start with. But they will NEVER be as healthy as the seeds you have purposefully planted. And you can shun them, cutting off their light, cutting off their water, making sure they grow only as weak sprouts.

It doesn't matter what your issues are with your children. If you don't want them to see violence, magic, ghosts, sex, hatred, intolerance, etc. Whatever you want to protect them from is your call as a parent. And it may SEEM extreme and silly to deny them something they will see/hear about anyway. But if you give in, against your beliefs, against what you want to 'grow' in them you give those seeds water and sunlight and plant food. You make the issue an 'okay' thing and legitimize it. Sending the message that you think its okay. Even if you don't. Even if every part of you screams that its a wrong thing. You give it the 'okay' by providing it, by allowing access, by giving the 'okay'

It is OUR job to choose what grows well, to decide what we WANT to be strong in our children. It is our responsibility to pick and choose what books we allow them to read...even if we know they will sneak comic books at a friends house. We need to control what they watch on tv...even when auntie will let them see what they want to at her house. We even teach them how to dress and eat properly...especially when Grandma gives in on the weekends.

By showing them what we think is right and what we allow, we show them what is legitimate, what belongs, and what its okay to feel good about. We make the good things healthy and the bad things, even if they like them and them being 'illegal' makes them appealing, weak.

Thats our job as gatekeepers or gardeners or whatever. It just is.

Fighting inertia

2009-08-05T18:46:00.000-07:00

I am lazy and I am not.

Once I get started I'm a beast on whatever it is I'm doing. Cleaning: bam, four rooms done and sparkling in a day. Scrapbooking: taken care of, pages and pages done. Errands: let me at em, I'll mark a list off in a hot minute.

But getting started. Ah. There's the rub.

I don't like getting up in the mornings. I hate it. I want to just lay there not moving till the next morning. Once I force the issue I'm a-okay. But getting there. Sigh.

If I sit down to eat, to computer time, to read, getting up is my enemy. I would sit, have sat, reading a book from start to finish when allowed (once upon a youthful book filled past) rather than get up to do ANYTHING.

I don't know where to find that motivating spark. All it takes, ALL it takes, is standing up. I don't know how to make myself do that happily.
I say happily cause anyone can push through. I'm looking for a way to be content with that choice and happy to be doing it. No clue how to accomplish that. No clue and it seems impossible. And I don't want it to be impossible. I want it to be easy and come easily and take away this burdening and overwhelming inertia I feel at the start of tasks.

Help!

Things I NEED in life

2009-08-04T10:21:00.000-07:00

First: I NEED the kindle. NEED.

I mean...for someone who reads as much as I do this thing is AWESOME.

Second: I NEED a playdate some time next week, I will be alone with my kids all week...I'm gonna go crazy I think! This one I might actually get.

Third: Time. I need to do a scrapbook for my mom...maybe next week while hubby is gone I'll crank that out so I can continue in my quest to get my own albums up to date.

Fourth: A magic wand to clean my house. I am so tired of it always getting messed up daily. Sigghhhh. Its never done!

There's more. I know. But for now thats it.

Cultivating my garden...allow me to wax philosophical for a bit

2009-07-29T11:55:00.000-07:00

Like everyone I have personal flaws.

I am way too judgmental and concerned about what other people do. Wayyyyy too much so.
I am lazy. Super duper lazy.
I am overly concerned with how others view me.

In light of these various personality flaws Voltaire has been 'speaking to me'

He says 'cultivate your garden'

Meaning don't worry about all the things you can't control. Don't focus on how others are living. Don't obsess over things that don't concern you. Grow your life. Tend your life. Solve the problems that you can effect that affect you.

I have been very strongly attempting to do this. I will catch my mind wandering in a spiral or judgment about someone that has nothing to do with me and switch off that track and focus on my own life. I don't know how yet to stop myself from starting to think of these things but I am getting good at catching it and stopping it.

I am trying to be active/proactive in making my life what I want, parenting as I want, getting the outcomes that I want and can effect through my actions. Its hard. I don't want to clean the house, I want it to be clean. I don't want to listen to the boy drone on about his bionicles, I just want him to feel like I care. I don't want to teach my kids how to do math, I just want them to know. DOING is so much harder than WISHING.

I am who I am and I have to evaluate what I want with my life and stop worrying about people disagreeing with me or being angry that I disagree or trying to impress them BY disagreeing. I can only offer who I am and knowing who I am is a hard, hard thing. I am impressed and respectful of many of my friends life decisions. The way the live, what they believe, how they do things in their life. But I very much need to separate out that respect and admiration from wanting to 'do it like them'. In a way this is the easier 'issue' to deal with because I do have a strong ability to respect but vary. Its the identification of where I vary thats the problem!

Tired, sleepy, soooo sleepy

2009-07-26T16:26:00.000-07:00

I can't sleep. I have this crazy sleep thing going on. Every night, every single night, I wake up around 2 or 3 and I'm just awake for 2 hours. It sucks. I'm waking up tired every morning. I don't know what to do about it. I do not like to take meds for sleep. I react very strongly to them so its really gotta be important to take them.

I think it might be getting there. I'm basically getting 2 less hours of sleep than I should be getting. This is NOT good. :(

I'm crazy. I just know it.

2009-07-15T15:31:00.000-07:00

So we are going to the beach this weekend.
No biggie, just a 2 hour drive to a beach, an overnight hotel stay and home on the second day. Really no big issue.
But its highlighted a very sick and twisted part of my mind.

See...I like to take pictures. LOTS of pictures. And in my minds eye I am mentally reviewing all of the outfits the children have and what will be best at the beach, etc.

For instance, should the boy wear his plain shirts without graphics or his Hawaiian shirt and his gymboree thing with the pineapple?
Should the baby wear HIS Hawaiian shirts or maybe his one with the monkey on it.
And of course being the good mommy of a girl I am, the girls wardrobe is causing me the most uncertainty. I have a Jamaican dress for her and another sun dress thats darling. These would both be awesome to photograph against the pale beachy colors.
BUT I also have a cute white skirt and a tye dye shirt she looks frickin adorable in. Plus theres another skirt/shirt combo she could wear that would be awesome.

You see...this is not stuff to worry me. It shouldn't be, but it does. I am thinking about THIS and not important things.

I MUST be crazy. MUST be.

My little ones at VBS

2009-07-13T15:32:00.000-07:00

The boy waiting to be a perch to a parrot in VBS

And here he is with his bandanna slipping while concentrating on another craft.

The girl posing in her bandanna, the only time she wore it :P

And playing in game time.

The toddler terror of the open seas Arrrggghh

And playing with his CARRRSSSS in the nursery at VBS

I don't wanna study

2009-07-12T10:51:00.000-07:00

I am WANTING a natural birth.
I've been induced 3 times. No 'big deal' except I am POSITIVE the last time it was unnecessary. With my first he was out of fluid at 1 week past due the lying 'due date' they give you. With my second she was a week past due and I had Symphis Pubis Dysfunction and welcomed the induction.

With my third I WANTED to go 'natural' I didn't want interventions but status quo here is a week, I got 9 days and then was induced. Even though I was having sporadic (very sporadic) contractions on my own.

This time I'm going 2 weeks if I have to. I don't mind after 2 weeks, thats where medical journals start disagreeing about placental degradation. I KNOW when I am 'due' because I was very carefully charting my cycle, etc.

This all being said.

I want to go natural. I really, really do.

I don't want to read, I don't want to listen to cds, I don't want to do much of anything to prepare. I've got my game plan in mind and I'm feeling very manish about it and "i don't need to stop for directions, I can do this on my own" (insert tim the toolman taylors grunt)

I don't know if I will eventually succumb and pick up a book. I just don't know. But this is my fourth, I've read tons on the internets, and I just feel...I dunno. Like I know what I'm doing and I'm not scared, worried, or unsure of things.

I just want to have a baby. Thats all :)

I am the King of the Mountain.

2009-07-05T13:14:00.000-07:00

I read once in a book that children will start games fighting to be the 'king' of the mountain. the one calling the shots and directing everyone. But they quickly realize that when they do so they don't get to have a part in the action, so they set up a straw man to be the king and then they all play and make up the directions.

I am so that straw man. My kids will set up games, today its mission space. They have all sorts of things thrown around put together as a rocket and they are flying around crashing into meteorites and Saturns gassy surface. But the directions come from me. Space Base Commander Mommy. Every 5 or so minutes I get a 'space base commander mommy can we have a status update.'

This is not the only time. most of them involve missions and such that they play at for 5-15 minutes and then return to me for a new 'mission' of sorts. Whether they are explorers, soldiers, astronaughts, police men/women.

They don't want me playing WITH them, even if I TRY to have another role I get stuck with 2 and the commander role comes first for them.

Sigh. Just call me straw man mommy.

In case you missed it