Who I Am

General Tso's Chicken à la Dani

2009-06-16T09:18:00.001-05:00

Ingredients
1 lb chicken thighs, already boned
3 eggs beaten with a whisk
1/2 cup cornstarch for egg mixture
2 tsp cornstarch for sauce mixture
5 dried pepper pods (using mexican dried pepper pods is fine)
1 & 1/2 tbsp rice vinegar
3 tbsp rice wine
1 & 1/2 tbsp sugar
4 tbsp soy sauce
1 and 1/2 tbsp hoisin sauce
1/2 tbsp garlic
1 tsp grated ginger root

Directions
Step 1 Mixing - In a large bowl, blend 1/2 cup of cornstarch and the pre-beaten eggs using a wire whisk until thoroughly combined. Should be a lemony yellow color at this point. Cut up the chicken pieces (de-boned thigh meat) into bite size pieces (around 6-8 pieces per full thigh piece), then add the chicken to the egg mixture and toss to coat.

Step 2 Mixing - In a small bowl, prepare the sauce mixture by combining 2 tsp cornstarch with the rice wine, rice vinegar, sugar, soy sauce, hoisin sauce, garlic and grated ginger root. For the ginger root, ensure to get fresh ginger root, then cut off the skin of it before grating it with a handheld cheese grater. In a second small bowl, make a duplicate of this exact same mixture using the same amounts and ingredients, but do not combine the 2 mixtures together.

Step 1 Frying - Heat 1-2 inches of peanut oil in a wok to medium-high heat (350-400). You really need a gas stove to get the oil hot enough. Fry the chicken in small batches of around 10-12 pieces at a time until the chicken is lightly browned. Remove the chicken to paper towls on a plate and allow it to stand. Keep frying the chicken in batches until all of it is done.

Step 2 Frying - Drain out the oil and the pieces of coating in the wok until you have only 1-2 tablespoons of oil left. Add the pepper pods to the oil and stir-fry briefly, bringing out the aroma but not burning them (around 60 to 120 seconds). Remove the pepper pods and return the chicken to the wok.

General's Favorite Sauce - Immediately after adding the chicken, add the sauce mixture to the wok, tossing over the heat until the sauce caramelizes into a glaze (1-3 minutes) over the chicken. After the chicken is entirely coated, then add the second sauce mixture to the wok and heat it through (you would not need to coat the chicken with this mixture, just heating and reducing the sauce a bit for about 2-3 minutes). At this point, remove the chicken and sauce from the heat and re-add the pepper pods to the chicken and sauce mixture.

Serve over a bed of white, long grain rice. Should serve approximately 4-6 people.

Pollo al Chilindrón

2009-06-16T09:07:00.005-05:00

Ingredients
2 1/2 pounds chicken thighs
1 and 1/2 white onions
2 minced garlic cloves
1/2 tsp paprika
2 large tomatoes
1 red bell pepper
1 green bell pepper
salt and pepper to taste
1 package of prosciutto
1 shot of Cognac or Marsala
Olive oil

Directions
Chop the onions and tomatoes. Dice the green and red bell peppers. Tear apart the prosciutto into pieces.

Heat the olive oil in a large saucepan. Add the chopped onions, minced garlic and chicken until the chicken is browned and the onion turns golden.

Pour Cognac or Marsala over the chicken. Add the prosciutto and mix. Add the paprika, some salt and pepper, then mix again. Add the rest of the ingredients, mix well. Cover and simmer on medium heat for around 45 minutes.

Serves 6-8 people.

Never free

2008-12-03T20:38:00.001-06:00

Numb, wanting wanting to be dumb
Blind with senses heightened
Yet dampened
Rambling
Talking to myself
In this self-made hell

Eating chocolate instead of substance
Drinking acid so it burns me
Since I really want to be consumed
By some sort of passion
Some sort of sensation or embrace
Embers only replace
The mask that descends

No friends, nothing but misguided whining
Needing a glimmer
Shining
Darkness
Stark and repressed emotions
Salt in this ocean
Bitterly swimming

Writing a poem while I'm drunk
Not really sure anymore
Why I am not just out
Giving blowjobs as a whore
Since I'm not better inside
Than those I pretend to be better than
Those I deride

I'd ride a wave of sin
Let the blackness in
To a soul that I don't own
Where everything is always me
Never moving
Never doing
Never free

If I Wake Up

2008-11-25T22:06:00.003-06:00

I gave my heart away
To another person who didn't deserve it
Who didn't want it
Here I am alone again, fading
Watching cars pass
A lit cigarette in my hand

I walk to the liquor store
After another meal by myself
Another restaurant familiar and known
I ordered meat this time
After being a vegetarian for a year
Because why should I really care

There's a bottle in the fridge
Put there tonight
Even though it's mid-week
And I didn't even used to drink

There are grey hairs
Sprouting out of my skull
I'd pluck them all
But my hair is already too thin

So I'll get drunk soon
Like my father did when I was a kid
It won't help; it won't lessen anything
I won't be able to sleep better
I'll still be alone in the morning
If I wake up at all

Cheddar Cheese Puffs

2008-11-22T20:13:00.001-06:00

This recipe comes from Better Homes and Gardens' "Cream Puffs" recipe, but rather than filling with sweet fillings, I instead change it to have cheddar. It ends up tasting like a pastry dish, good for any time of the day even breakfast.

Ingredients
1 cup water
1/2 cup butter
1/8 teaspoon salt
1 cup all-purpose flour
4 eggs
1 1/2 cups of grated sharp cheddar cheese

Directions
Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Grease a baking sheet 9 x 15in.

In a medium saucepan, stir together water, butter and salt until they boil.
Add flour all at once, stirring vigorously until it forms a ball.

Remove from heat, then add 1 1/2 cups cheddar cheese. Cool for 10 minutes.
Add eggs, one at a time, beating well with a wooden spoon after each.

Drop 12 evenly formed heapings of the dough onto the baking sheet.
Bake for 25 minutes, then pull out and sprinkle cheddar cheese on top of each. Cook 5 minutes more until the cheese is melted.
Remove from the dish and cool.

Can chill and reheat for up to 3 days. Serves 3-6.

White Lasagne

2008-11-22T20:10:00.001-06:00

The recipe is based on the one at this location, however, I made a few changes like I always do when making any recipe.

Ingredients
3/4 cup minced shallots (5-6, peeled, then sliced and minced)
1 stick unsalted butter
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon paprika
3 3/4 cups 2% milk
1 cup chicken broth (replace with vegetable broth if you are a vegetarian)
2 large eggs, lightly beaten
1/2 teaspoon sea salt
1/2 teaspoon grated black pepper
1/2 cup dry Marsala
1 to 1.5 cups grated Parmigiano-Reggiano, portion out 1/2 cup separately
1/8 cup grated Asiago
12 no-boil egg lasagne sheets (usually Barilla flat egg no boil pasta is best, it comes with 16 sheets)

Directions
Preheat oven to 350°F with rack in middle of oven.

Place shallots and butter into a heavy medium saucepan and cook over medium heat, stirring periodically until the shallots are tender. This takes around 3-5 minutes.
Add the flour all at once, then reduce heat to low, stirring with a plastic or wooden spoon about 3 minutes.
Add the nutmeg and paprika. Increase the heat back to medium temperature, then slowly whisk in milk one cup at a time until blended.
Stir in the chicken or vegetable broth until blended. Bring to a boil, whisking with the spoon. Reduce heat to simmer, stirring until the sauce lightly coats the spoon. This is only about 1-2 minutes after reducing to simmer from the boil.

Remove from heat and cool until it is only warm rather than hot, re-stirring occasionally. Stir in eggs, Marsala, sea salt, pepper, and 1/2 cup Parmigiano Reggiano cheese.

Spread about 1 3/4 cups sauce over bottom of a glass baking dish about 11x8-inch in size. Cover with a layer of 3 lasagne sheets. Place a sprinkling of Parmigiano Reggiano on top of it with about 1/2 cup sauce.
Add another layer of 3 sheets and put a sprinkling of Asiago cheese on it with about 1/2 cup sauce.
Add another layer of 3 sheets and put the rest of the Asiago on it with about 1/4 cup sauce.
Add the last layer of 3 sheets, then top the remaining sauce evenly over the entire dish, then over the sauce put the remaining Parmigiano Reggiano cheese evenly.

Bake, uncovered, until browned, around 50 minutes.

Cool slightly, then slice into pieces with a knife. The bottom will stick slightly due to the sheets being egg-based, so you likely want to use a fork to get each piece out.

Enjoy! Serves around 4-6 people with around 12 slices (2-3 pieces per person).

White Chocolate Brownies

2008-11-22T20:08:00.001-06:00

Based off of this recipe with some changes.

Ingredients
6 tablespoons butter
8 ounces white chocolate
2 eggs
1/4 cup sugar
1/2 tablespoon vanilla
1 cup flour
1/2 cup butterscotch chips

Directions
Preheat oven to 350°F.
Line an 8 inch square baking dish with foil.

Melt butter and 4 ounces of white chocolate together in top of double boiler over hot water (alternatively, use a medium saucepan with water under another smaller pan), stirring occasionally until mixed.
When melted, remove from heat and add the remaining white chocolate. Stir to blend well. Set aside.

Beat the eggs and sugar until pale and thick.
Add white chocolate and butter mixture, vanilla and flour. Beat with spoon just until smooth.
Add butterscotch chips and mix just until evenly mixed, do not overmix.

Pour into prepared pan and bake 25-30 minutes or until toothpick inserted in center comes out clean.

Cool out of the oven for about 30 minutes, then cut into squares and refrigerate 1-2 hours before serving. Serves 4-6 people.

Best Ever Potato Casserole

2008-11-22T20:07:00.000-06:00

Ingredients
1 pound 4 ounce bag of refrigerated hash browns
1 stick of semi-melted butter (melt 20-25 seconds in microwave)
16 oz sour cream
2 cups shredded cheddar cheese
1 cup chopped white pearl onions
1 can Campbell's Cream of Mushroom Soup
1 tsp paprika
1 tsp dried basil
1 tablespoon crushed or minced garlic
French's French Fried Onions (1/2 to 2/3 large can)

Directions
Preheat oven to 350°F.

Mix together hash browns and butter.
Add sour cream, 1 and 1/2 cups cheddar cheese and pearl onions, mix thoroughly.
Next, add cream of mushroom soup, garlic, paprika and basil. Again, mix thoroughly.

Add frenchs french fried onions, crushing them up and removing any extremely hard bits until the dish is evenly coated and mixed.

Cook 30 minutes. Re-stir the dish, then add another layer of cheddar cheese on top (1/2 cup). Cook for another 20-25 minutes, then remove and serve.

Serves 4-6 people.

abject

2008-09-30T01:45:00.001-05:00

squeak squeak squeak...wading wafting waiting
water drifting ripe and lifting, rippling
onto the shore of abandon wanton want
plunged and plunged
plundered, plugged
grit and grunge
detritus
dirty
done

Silver Breeze

2008-09-24T08:40:00.002-05:00

Take me down into the glow
Carry me away
Into places I haven't known
Through memories
Through melodies
Dance with me upon this silver breeze

Touching you as you touch me
Our hands are joined
Together, we are synched and meshed
Molded visions
By precision
Confluent streams, no division

Wake with me upon the morn
Open your golden eyes
To see only my face at dawn
Trace my heart
Taste my skin
Kiss me once, twice as you breathe me in

I am here within the glow
Carried away
Into places I've never known
Warm memories
Soft melodies
As we dance upon this silver breeze

Blinded

2008-09-14T02:09:00.022-05:00

Your eyes change color with the light
One moment gold; one moment blue
Shimmering, simmering
I feel so very blessed
I wish I could profess
This love to you

A vision years ago
Brought you into my soul
I searched and searched to find
Someone to match this image in my mind
Until I had to let you go

Why did fate wait so long?
Serenade me with sorrowful songs
Let me lose my faith along the way
Never believing I'd see your face
God, I wish you'd feel the same

How I wish you were mine
I ache when I gaze into your eyes
Yearning, joyous, alive
I want to be with you,
But blinded by your grace,
I turn away

two feet

2008-08-05T01:38:00.001-05:00

soot dirty foot
pounding down
down down
down onto concrete pavement
sidewalk marked
colorful chalked
hard ground

the other foot held high
jumping up
up up
up to the sky
azure-filled sun shine
with closed eyes
tight shut

hopscotch

Dark Beauty

2008-08-05T00:15:00.001-05:00

While it might seem strange to say this is a love poem, it is indeed a love poem.

You are a dark beauty
Gloaming
A floating reflection
An image cast of perfection
At last here
Rippling, surfacing
For this mere mortal earthling
To worship
As stars blaze to ignite
As pinpoints of white
Cease to be bright
As your blackness fills
Kills
Thrills
The night

Finger of Death - short story in progress

2008-08-03T15:44:00.002-05:00

I'm working on this horror story. I intend to possibly add more details to describe the surroundings in this first part, but I just wanted reactions on how it is going so far and any suggestions people might have.

A slick, sticky oiliness pervades my skin as I perspire profusely, making me all the more uncomfortable in this deep, dead tropical heat. I'm not acclimated to such high humidity in my native St. Louis, Missouri. I recline in the village circle, while one of the inhabitants, an elderly man barely dressed with cracks and wrinkles traversing his body, is relaying some folktale or other superstitious nonsense about one of the creatures around here. Madagascar houses some of the most unique prosimians on the planet, which was the impetus for me to take a vacation to this godforsaken hell on earth in the first place.

"Aye-aye is death omen. He visit in night and he point his long middle finger to you."

Barely stifling a laugh, I inquire back, "He gives you the finger of death you might call it?" Holding up my hand, I point my middle finger directly at the old dude.

"Yeaaa, he point finger to you--you assured quick to die."

"And this is the sole reason that the creatures are killed? Their numbers have been decimated to where they are nearly extinct. You do realize they are unique to this area and don't live anywhere else in the world?"

"He enter to our village in night and bring death to us. We protect ourselves. What other choice have we?" His dark brown eyes look staunchly back at me almost as if he's daring me to find fault with his logic.

Unflinchingly returning his gaze, I quip back, "Deforestation is why these creatures are coming into towns. You are taking away their places to live."

"My family, my village matter. Your country give help to us and we stop to chop trees," he expressively opens out his hands, indicating this is the end of the matter and there is nothing more he can say or do. This gesture reminds me of how we would shrug for the same type of response back home.

Getting up, he beckons me to follow him to my living quarters. Each of the shacks are tiny with yellow, thatched roofs, lending a picturesque quality to the dirty surroundings. I'll be thrilled to finally find some rest. The entire day has been trying, nothing like I'd pictured my trip would turn out to be. Somewhere in my mind, I'd envisioned majestic plants with colorful animals hanging from tree branches and people who stepped right out of the pages of National Geographic magazine. The onerous heat and lack of civilization (ergo, no Starbucks or even a Seven Eleven) hadn't been gathered into the equation. I'm not a seasoned traveler and I doubt I'll make the mistake of picking a non-touristy spot again. Future vacation plans shall all include a spa and a bar with ice cold drinks awaiting nearby.

Words

2008-07-22T17:32:00.000-05:00

Words cannot describe how I feel
Weak, hackneyed, incomplete
None of them real

The beauty and the pain
The love rising up
When I cry out your name

Your kiss, the curve of your lips
The flush of warmth divine
Only for me, only mine

I had waited and waited, and waited some more
For a perfect love, someone to adore
Until I could wait no more

So, I trashed and burned my desires
Quit being a child consumed by fires
A child with stories, hiding, a liar

When the ashes cooled and the true me remained
I could be myself, no longer empty
No longer chained

Only then could I really see you
Without expectation or rejection
I accept that you love me, too

The Great Divide

2008-07-22T00:31:00.002-05:00

From the depths
From deep, dark down
Dirty and earthen bound
I cry

In this hole
Seeping, yawing
Arms clutching and mauling
Inside

On the edge
Slipping, falling
Creatures crawl, claw, calling
Then hide

Dread omen
A little crow
Cawing out to and fro
He flies

You look up
Far off, up high
Above casting soft light
Stars shine

Open hands
Unable to touch
Unwelcome and unloved
We die

Alive

2008-07-20T14:47:00.004-05:00

I feel content when I'm not content
Hurting too much
Mentally crushed
Pushed, shoved, bent
Roughed a bit up

Not the physical pain
This body means nothing
A vessel to spill
For blood to fill
Bones and skin
Nothing to me
But what holds me within

My mind and spirit, my soul
Flies on wings
Listening to the flutter
Sounds pulsating out
Blinking, tingling
Delighting in agony divine
Other people's pain heightening mine

Words witty and sharp
Laughing like a lark
Frighteningly cold, intentionally bold
Simply to see the confusion
The daggers arise from such beautiful eyes
Flashing, finally alive
They glare with hatred into mine

So I push this dark out of my skin
Sinister intentions
Malicious purpose
Angelic demons breaking the surface
Then squirming back in

Awash and Aglow

2008-07-18T23:21:00.001-05:00

I spot you from afar
Yet you haven't a clue
How amazing you are
In this loud, crowded room
Your grace shines, shimmers out
Setting the place aglow

High angels swoop and swoon
To touch you as they fall
Clamoring to be close
Each vie for attention
Screech, scream--you don't see them
Your eyes are linked with mine

Perfection does not exist
But for the breath released
By your lips

You whisper deep into me
Warmth trickles down and through
My open throat

Full and whole, gulping, wanton
Awash with your pure love
I drown

Lodging for the Night

2008-07-11T04:35:00.002-05:00

desolate, dull and dreary in this courtyard dim
noises eerie of scraping and clicking
scurry on the periphery, creatures slinking
into the shade, sensing the need to escape
to hide far away

forbidden mysteries, secret sins
exchanged by the dime
but his appetites aren't quite the norm
nor his chilled, aphotic grin
normally chatty, she stays silent

movement black and blurred
sudden and grim
she's pushed up to the cold wall (so she don't fall)
pressed hard into the rough bricks
again and again and again

left alone now to be found
solitary and motionless, soon a large crowd
gathers round to gape
at internal organs
fleshed and splayed out

the price paid to earn
her lodging for the night

The Door

2008-07-01T22:47:00.001-05:00

Push it open a crack
Gawk
Hold up a tiny hand
Dust and light gathers through
Sweeping out from the room

Heave hard against the sturdy frame
A wooden door
Neglected
Hinges squeak
A rusty scream

Scared, fall onto the floorboards
Listening for sounds within
Sounds without
Sounds up and down
Any notice or shout

Nothing

Silence

Grin, push the door a bit again

Twilight

2008-06-29T02:36:00.000-05:00

Calm, quiet, displaced
Gentle embers fade
Away into the stillness
Uncertain and unwilling
Within slow, slowing, chilling
as light is abating
unfolding space

Closing, singed and dazed
Each flame gone, replaced
By comfort; by harsh neglect
No life left just circumspect
Discarded, dead reflections
majestic, separate
imperfections

An incantation
As we disappear
Bring back the life to us here
Lift up our souls so we see
Another dawn, please set us free
twilight shadows echo
captivity

All is lost, lost and forlorn
Knowing this, we still move on
A band of nomads
Misfits, miscreants
Wandering amidst the mist
locked into this time, stopped
we must exist

The Second Riddle

2008-06-16T04:02:00.001-05:00

I am the malcontent
Here I am
Tired, spent
Worthless, null
Void and dull
Languishing, infertile soul

A cipher filled
Dark matter
Meaningless and chilled
Killing, killed
By your laughter
But not your apathy
When you refuse to see me

I will take your soul
Spit it out whole
Tear away your face
When you run
From the blackness
From the pain
From your own shame

Pitched, reeling
No ground
No ceiling
Not even the sky
Nowhere to hide
Just empty space

I am coming for you
I wait in the shadows
Lurking on the ledge
I live in these surfaces
Of blades that cut
Waiting to slit you up

Into your dreams
I will enter unseen
Take out all the light
Until you cannot believe
In anything
Not even me

Who could I be?

Falling

2008-06-09T01:37:00.002-05:00

Into the abyss
A cavern endlessness
Filled with emptiness
Lingering, then going down

Sad...sad...das..asd
Words jumbled, meaning tumbled
I am lost, fumbled, crumpled
I can't be found

Chilled, deep water
Fall, fall, falling
Calling your name
As I forget my own

Floating
Luminous, glowing
Flowing
No longer knowing with skin puffed out

Drowned

I know what this poem sounds like, but then I also know it can be interpreted more than one way for what I intended to mean. It isn't just intended to have the physical meaning of the words. I am trying to strip away at words to get to the heart of meaning and paint a picture in this one as well as a few others recently. Hopefully, it came out okay.

Emotion Whore

2008-06-02T01:47:00.001-05:00

"Hello, is Dani there?"

You call me up out of the blue
It's been over four years
Since I heard from you
Just want to see how I'm doin'

You broke my trust repeatedly
Deceived me; stole from me
Despite all the pain, I let you in
To a place I usually hide

I have thought of you
Less and less, though
Letting you go, not wanting to know
If you were still alive

Yeah, I can't help you almost died
The other night had to be hospitalized
Due to low T-cell counts
And drinking your guts out

Oh, you're taking your meds again
Wonder how long that'll last?
Hope you pop some anti-psychotics
With those antibiotics

Great to hear you feel fine now
Even if you live day by day
Worried another person
Will break into your place

(Wow, too bad to hear some mugger took all your cash from your last paycheck that would have paid your rent so you could not get kicked out)

I would love to love you still
But I know you too well
You don't deserve to be my friend
You would rather pretend than be real

Intimacy isn't easy for me
I can't give you anything in return
You will only break me apart
Watch as I wobble off without a heart

Sure, call me again, call me all you like
I'll answer but I'll be all right
You can't get into my life
Since there's nothing for you here anymore
I'm not an emotion whore like you

"Hey, I better let you go as I'm kinda busy, Kevin."

beyond me

2008-06-02T01:40:00.001-05:00

I want to believe
in anything beyond me
inviolate and strong
always right
never wrong

I want to trust
flowing with light, with love
find beauty in everything
the promise
of sunny spring

I want to hope
to dream of neverland
where I can be a child again
free, running through the sand
playing by the sea

I want to wish
to feel your soft kiss
to sit outside in the sun
never turning red
golden, beautiful, young

I want to live

I can live here with you
grow old
my friend, my soul
singing the days into the night
until we both turn in
then turn out the light