My Lenaptalf - The Cat Blog

My Lenaptalf is still Alive

2007-05-21T13:33:00.000-07:00

It's been a long time since my last post! My staff had a child in January, who until recently had not bothered me much. The other day, however, he decided to put my harmless tail in his vise grip until the staff came to remove him. Can a cat take a nap any more in peace?

My Lenaptalf's Birthday Plot

2006-07-07T16:44:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is one of my staff's birthday. He's turning 29, which they seem to think is quite old. I imagine that when you're 35, say, 29 seems young. Funny how that works. I suppose I'm catching up quick in cat years.

I doubt he's expecting any gifts from the cat - besides maybe a hairball, that is. His low expectations will be rewarded...

My Lenaptalf Survives Fireworks

2006-07-05T20:18:00.000-07:00

My staff abandoned me last night, of course, to go hang out with other staff and watch still more staff fire noisy and bright rockets into the air. This seems to be quite a popular activity among staff this time of year. They asked me if I wanted to join them, but I just don't see the appeal in laying outside in the muggy heat when I could lay inside on the furniture while they're gone...

My Lenaptalf Dislikes Cleaning

2006-07-03T11:41:00.000-07:00

The good news: my staff has decided to stay home today - to serve me, I'm sure. The bad news: they seem to be spending all their time spraying harsh-smelling chemicals on surfaces and removing things from the ground that I enjoy sleeping on. I don't understand this obsession with having nothing laying anywhere. Plus, they do not seem to understand the delicate nature of my superior olfactory sense. Chemical-free cat living, anyone?

My Lenaptalf's Long Weekend

2006-06-30T14:44:00.000-07:00

I was very pleased to hear that my staff will be home to care for me for four straight days. They've already started warning me, however, that Tuesday is the Loud Night that comes every year when it gets hot outside. While the staff seems to enjoy this cacophany of noise and light, I prefer the silence of the closet or under the desk. I wouldn't want to damage my sensitive ears, after all.

Ulcers in My Lenaptalf's Ancestors

2006-06-28T15:39:00.000-07:00

I always read the cat news with great interest to see what my fellow felines are up to. I noticed an interesting article this week about researchers who believe an ulcer-causing bacteria that affects lions, cheetahs, and tigers was probably acquired from humans long ago when one or more of the cats ate a human who was carrying the microbe. Fox News helpfully points out that such a meal "probably didn't sit well."

I'm glad my staff has been properly trained to feed me, so I don't have to resort to such risky predatory habits!

My Lenaptalf's Staff is Obsessed

2006-06-26T16:27:00.000-07:00

My staff appear to be quite taken with me, I must say. I'm not sure if it's my birthday, or they're just trying to make up for being gone pretty much all weekend, but there appears to be a collection of their favorite My Lenaptalf photos online now. Visitors of this site will recognize some of them, but the staff apparently feels that I'm ready for a wider audience. I think the only thing I'm ready for is dinner. Yum.

62 My Lenaptalfs?

2006-06-23T16:30:00.000-07:00

I read the My Lenaptalf News with dismay yesterday about the plight of several dozen of the feline faithful being kept in quite poor conditions in a Chicago-area home. First of all, there must be some limit to the number of cats a staff person is able to effectively serve. Second, there can be no proper authority structure with that many cats. Third, the nature of their care appears to be somewhere less than ideal. Remind me to have my staff look over the fence into neighbors' yards to see if there is a "boneyard of decayed cats." There's your first clue that something's amiss.

My Lenaptalf's Favorite Books, Part 1

2006-06-22T16:21:00.000-07:00

Just in case there was any doubt, I do enjoy a good feline read every now and then. Even cats can't sleep sometimes, so we have to find something to do (besides eating again). That said, I do have some favorites I've accumulated along the way, so let's run through them. We'll start today with my favorite cat fiction:

The Cat in the Hat - the classic, suitable for young staff and cats of all ages!
Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats - T.S. Eliot's masterpiece inspired the musical Cats.
Baby Einstein: Cats - a suitable selection for new staff arrivals. I'll have to remember to recommend it to my staff personally.
Socks - Beverly Cleary has written many classics, but this is her feline masterpiece.
Puss in Boots - The folk tale from the author of Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty, with stunning illustrations.
The Cat Who Played Post Office - From the "Cat Who..." series of mystery books, all excellent easy reads.

Enjoy these fine editions, and you'll thank My Lenaptalf later!

My Lenaptalf's New Diet

2006-06-21T16:48:00.000-07:00

The excess attention from my staff continues today. I think with all the brushing they've been doing, they have perceived an increasing waist size on me. Though I would certainly disagree, I am somewhat dependent on them for food (though I could replace them at any time, of course). They recently started mixing in a new food into my current one - it's called Science Diet, and it apparently represents their latest hope to slim me down. Just the thought of losing weight makes me sleepy...

My Lenaptalf Harassed?

2006-06-20T15:44:00.000-07:00

I apologize for my absence from these pages yesterday, but I was recovering after spending what seemed like the entire weekend being brushed by my staff. I'm not sure why they suddenly took a greater interest in the state of my fur. I heard murmers of anger over some stray cat hair found on the dining room table - perhaps that explains the increased attention.

What's My Lenaptalf to do, though, when it's summer in Phoenix and I have all this long hair? Hopefully the staff will be busy with other concerns this week...

My Lenaptalf Purrs for Garfield

2006-06-16T20:39:00.000-07:00

Movies come and go, usually without much notice on my part. After all, I don't get out much, and it seems like so much effort to go anywhere anyway. I don't know why my staff stray so far from their cozy furniture and food.

Back to the topic, though. I did see that Garfield: A Tale of Two Kitties was released today. This appears to me my type of movie! Of course, to me, liking a movie means that perhaps I could try to stay awake for it if the staff brings it home for viewing someday...

There She is, Miss... My Lenaptalf?

2006-06-15T14:34:00.000-07:00

I was reviewing some of the recent My Lenaptalf news stories, and saw the bit about a new reality TV series featuring cats. It's about time, don't you think, for some truly entertaining TV? I just can't get interested into all these shows that my staff seem to like.

Meow Mix House on Animal Planet (starting June 16) should be my cup of tea, even though each "episode" is only three minutes long. Oh well. That's about as long as I can stay awake anyway.

My Lenaptalf is Offended

2006-06-14T16:32:00.000-07:00

I couldn't help but notice the developing trend over on the My Lenaptalf articles page that my staff maintains. What began with a factual summary of one of my adventures and continued with a slightly more inflammatory article about brushing a cat has now turned into a transparent assault on my, shall we say, abundant stature. Why do I tolerate such insubordination?

My Lenaptalf Home Video?

2006-06-13T14:37:00.000-07:00

One of my staff members approached me the other day as I was resting, pointing his digital camera in my direction curiously. While I know my fame and importance attracts much attention, I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do for my film debut. I just sat there for a few seconds, and when it appeared that he wasn't going to leave without some sort of show, I rolled over a couple times to act cute. Whatever.

You can see the My Lenaptalf video at Google, or it appears that the staff has posted it on the home page of this site as well. How can I possibly top this screen debut?

Would My Lenaptalf be this Helpful?

2006-06-12T14:17:00.000-07:00

I was browsing the helpful cat news page that my staff recently started, and came across the story of the cats who woke up their people when a fire broke out in the home. While it's tragic that not all of the feline friends made it out alive, I found it to be quite a testament to their dedication to the domicile and their staff. May all staff treat their cats especially fondly today, in hopes that your cats will perform similarly under pressure!

My Lenaptalf's Favorite Musical?

2006-06-09T15:32:00.000-07:00

Inquiring fans surely want to know, so I can confirm that my favorite musical is, of course, Cats. Andrew Lloyd Webber's production is artistic genious and perfectly captures the feline spirit in action. The plot held me riveted, watching the cats prance back and forth and sing about nothing in particular. My staff owns the DVD, of course, as should yours. I was quite tired by the end, though, feeling as if I was on stage also. Plenty of excitement for one day...

Allergy-Free Felines?

2006-06-08T09:25:00.000-07:00

My staff helpfully alerts me to cat-related news from time to time, which allows me to stay on top of my subjects' current events. One interesting tidbit caught my eye today concerning a San Diego company's claim that they will shortly be generating allergy-free cats. Supposedly, they have identified cats that do not genetically produce allergic reactions, and are reproducing those cats for staff who could not otherwise serve most of us.

While it's always beneficial to expand the available staff pool, in my opinion, are we sliding down the slippery slope where one day there will be many cloned My Lenaptalfs? I'm not sure the world can handle more than one of me! Perhaps I should have the staff keep a closer eye on this kind of news...

One of My Nine Lives

2006-06-07T08:25:00.000-07:00

I was recalling the other day the time I startled the staff when we lived in the cold place. I resided in a third-story apartment (with a view, of course), and I enjoyed sitting on the balcony railing and observing the goings-on of my subjects (at least when the white powdery stuff didn't freeze my paws).

Anyway, one day an avian menace kept taunting me by squawking quite loudly. Finally, I couldn't take it any longer and pounced - from the third-story balcony. Of course, the menace flew off and I flew down about 30 feet. Though slightly dazed, I had the presence of mind to alert another cat's staff person that I was outside the building, and he let me back into the hallway. I ran up the stairs to the door with the symbol "12" on it. From being in the hallway before, I knew that's where I lived. The staff heard me meowing outside the door and appeared rather surprised to be letting me in the front door. I assured them that everything was okay, however, and to commence petting me immediately.

Does the World Revolve Around My Lenaptalf?

2006-06-06T15:49:00.000-07:00

I've come to realize that very few things affect me on a daily basis. My staff leave in the morning and come home in the evening. Other cats' staff walk and drive by my window. Some less regal felines and canines wander around like they're lost. My staff appears to be very interested in reading about other staff in a publication that magically appears outside our front door every morning. They also sit on the couch in the living room, fascinated by the staff that are contained within the box with the screen in the front.

Despite all this seeming activity going on around me, none of it really affects me. My staff must shelter me quite well from this chaos that would otherwise demand my constant attention. Perhaps that is what they are doing all day when they are gone...

My Lenaptalf Recommends

2006-06-05T16:27:00.000-07:00

I have instructed my staff to ensure that I am enjoying the finest comforts of feline life, and they do an acceptable job of providing the modern conveniences to which I have become accustomed. Specifically, I wholeheartedly recommend:

Purina One Advanced Hairball and Healthy Weight cat food. While I'm not sure what that "healthy weight" part is insinuating, I do enjoy having fewer hairballs. Fortunately, when I do, my staff has provided carpeting that is naturally hairball-colored.
LitterMaid Self-Cleaning Litter Box. The staff apparently tired of cleaning my litter box manually, so they provided this automatic version. Whatever. Litter is litter to me.
Cat Toys. I've never actually bought anything, but I enjoy batting around the toys that my staff brings home occasionally.

I feel an afternoon nap coming on...

Staff offspring?

2006-06-04T22:13:00.000-07:00

I thought I heard the staff muttering today about reproducing some future staff for me. While I agree with this outcome in principle (a larger staff is a better staff, I say), the process of domesticating and training new staff is a tiring one, even for a spry cat such as myself. When the new staff are still small, they seem to like pretending to be like me and walking on all four legs. They insist on touching me quite often and get a strange thrill from chasing me around the house.

Back in my former apartment (before the long car ride that I don't remember very well), my staff brought in some new trainees for me to meet. I think they were too small to learn quickly, because we did not get along very well. Fortunately, the staff realized this as well and returned them to wherever they came from in short order.

My Lenaptalf's Saturdays

2006-06-03T08:13:00.000-07:00

I enjoy Saturdays. Although they can be a little hectic sometimes with the staff busying themselves around the house (what are they doing?), it's usually easy to sneak in a cat nap or two and get some extra attention in between. Speaking of - this place looks like a great vacation destination, don't you think? I'll have to remember to mention that to the staff.

I noticed a small container next to my litter box today with the words "Baking Soda" on it. I wonder what I'm supposed to do with that. It doesn't smell like food. My staff should not be so careless as to leave things so messy in my room.

Fat Lenaptalf?

2006-06-02T13:55:00.000-07:00

My staff is constantly pointing out to me that I am weight-challenged, shall we say. I'm not sure why I tolerate such behavior, but I suppose I do require their service to feed me, clean my litter box, and provide a pillowtop mattress for me to rest on. I don't think that 15 pounds is an excessive weight, especially when you look at these really fat cats. In fact, a certain "healthy" stature is probably appropriate for a feline of my importance. Back to my lunch...

My Lenaptalf's Feline Friends

2006-06-01T13:08:00.000-07:00

As you might imagine, after a long day's nap, I like some quality entertainment. With that in mind, I usually look for my favorite cats on the net, tube, or comics. Catbert is one of my particular inspirations - that cat is pretty devious. Garfield is another classic that I keep up with regularly. I still enjoy some of the classics as well, like Felix the Cat and Spot from the Star Trek reruns.

What other role models does a cat need, really? Yawn...