Nicki Moments

Where I've Been

2009-02-19T18:22:00.003-07:00

Working. And when not working, at home. I know--riveting.

Last week I threw a fit and told Jason that I want a life. We work so much and rarely get out that it's almost a waste to live here. So, being the Great Fixer, he took me and Lucy hiking. Well, it's not really hiking since we just sort of putzed around the woods, but we did get out and it felt great.

I've also been able to set up a little corner for me to write, read and have some elbow room. Maybe now some of those creative juices will get flowing again. Maybe.

One of the things that has followed me into my little corner is my stack of wedding magazines. Dear god I had no idea how much stuff went into wedding planning. Well, I did have an idea, but that was from the catering/venue/strictly business side of it. Hotel room blocks? Got it. Brie vs. chevre? Totally understand the difference. Attrition, rental agreements and down payments? Check. But veils? Flowers? Center pieces? Save the date cards? Flower girl dresses???? NO. It's all a giant mess in my head. And now it's spilled onto the floor of my corner. In short, the wedding stuff is kind of stressing me out.

I was not the girl who had her dream wedding planned by the age of 12. I was the kid planning her escape to the back woods of Oregon. I was the one fantasizing about leaving Ohio with a cloud of dust trailing a Nissan Xterra (in reality, I left calmly and quietly in my Mercury Sable with my father driving). My room was painted blue and plastered with photos of rivers and mountains, not pink and filled with lace. So no, I am not completely adept when it comes to comparing napkin colors and this lack of vision is starting to become problematic. I know I want it to be classy, fun and memorable, but how does one do that? And how does one do that for less than $10,000?

But that's why there is Ma Chilton and a small army of girlfriends, cousins, aunts and soon-to-be family members to help me through it. Only 48 hours after getting engaged, Ma and I went to Columbus, met up with my fabulous friend, Sarah and her sisters and found my dress. As far as we know, it's a record.

And the reason for the record purchase was that at first Jason and I thought we would rush it and get married this summer. We were just that excited about becoming hubby and wife. But this summer means that we would've had a scant 7 months to plan a destination wedding. So, after rushing through the dress buying phase (and admittedly spending roughly a month wrestling with buyers remorse) and finding a venue only days after getting back to Bozeman, we decided to put the wedding off until summer of 2010. Most people see putting a wedding off as something bad, or perhaps a sign of bad things to come, but for Jay and I it was a huge relief. Both of our mothers blurted out "Oh, thank God!" when we told them, and now many more of our friends and family will be able to attend. For some, the fast approaching date was too soon to get their ducks in a row. So technically, we didn't "put off" the wedding, we simply re-scheduled it.

But now, I've been granted time (lots of time) to turn myself dizzy with magazines, planners, 'helpful' guides and websites. So other than working or hanging out with Jason, I'm pushing my wedding around the floor of my corner. Go me.

In other news Ma and Pa Chilton are in Paris this week celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. I can't tell you how excited I am that they're there. Ma has always wanted to go to Paris and for multiple reasons throughout their marriage the trip was always put off. But now (right this very minute!) my parents are enjoying breakfast in Paris. Knowing my Ma, she has probably told more than one waiter to suck it when it comes to the bad attitude--a sight I would pay top dollar to see.

In all seriousness, I can't think of anything more romantic and amazing for those two. After forty years, they have been through fifteen or so moves, more than one career change, raised two kids, three dogs, five cats, two lizards and one gerbil. They've had ten or more cars, experienced a few car accidents and consequently, they've grown heads full of gray hair. They've had moments of joy, fear, disappointment and hope. And to think it all started with two teenagers meeting in the hallway of their high school. There's this and so much more to say about my parents. But maybe the best way I can sum them up is with a verse from a Willie Nelson song: "I'm going to love you till the wheels fall off".

I hope Jay and I are so lucky.

I love you Mom and Dad!

Cheers,
Nicole

We're Engaged!

2008-12-25T17:10:00.002-07:00

Happy Hanukkah, everyone! Today in front of my parents, my brother and his girlfriend Jason got down on one knee and asked, "Will you?"

AND I SAID YES!!!

So while there aren't any pictures right now (I left the cord to my camera at home) I wanted to send a quick note out anyway to break the news and wish everyone a very happy holiday.

I'm so excited!

Cheers,
Nicole

Turkey Day!

2008-12-01T10:37:00.006-07:00

This year Jason and I had three Thanksgivings. Two were spent in Great Falls with Jason's family and one was hosted in our house. Our good friend and roommate Dustin was on his way to India for two months and since he was always so fond of food we thought what better way to say goodbye than with a feast. We had some friends over and after more than a few rounds of charades (and a few glasses of wine) we all sat down to a beautifully prepared dinner cooked by none other than Jason and Dustin (I was conveniently working a shift at the shoe store all day--oops!). Here are some photos from that fun night:

Cheers,
Nicole

Coffee Shop Blues

2008-11-14T13:29:00.003-07:00

At the risk of losing my mind, I have left the house. I know, I don't have any money (it's a side effect of unemployment) so what am I doing whipping out the credit card for a $3 cappuccino? It's simple: it's either small, moderate, only slightly unnecessary spending or therapy, which as we all know is way more expensive than over-priced coffee. So there. I'm justified.

When am I going to find a new job?????!!!!! I am SO not okay with uselessness. But I know I am much more lucky than some. I was listening to NPR yesterday and heard some crazy statistic that last month 516,000 people filed for unemployment for the first time in the US. All I could think was that I was one of those people. Yikes. But I still get to work the occasional shift at the shoe store so it's not like I'm without options. And the other thing is that I am not alone. I have a fabulous boyfriend, amazing parents and great friends to help me through. Not to metion that Lucy the Little Pup and Fatty Cat are great, though often-times demanding companions. So while I may be a statistic on NPR, I'm okay.

Back to it.

NC

2008-11-12T12:50:00.003-07:00

Okay, so maybe I'm toeing over the line here. Maybe I'm venturing into the land of the crazy pet owner by posting not only pictures but videos of my dog. Next thing you know I'll be wearing a tee-shirt that spells out "I *heart* my Chineranian" and carrying her around in a pink rhinestone studded purse. But considering that she is only three-pounds and still has a soft spot on her head, I am both proud and astonished that my itty-bitty little dog has learned to fetch!

Jason took this video last night just about the time she was catching on to the whole 'mama throws the ball and I bring it back' scenario. And yes, that is a normal tennis ball that she is carrying.

We're so proud.

Cheers,

Nicole, Jason and Little Lucy

Undedermined

2008-11-09T10:24:00.002-07:00

Still no job. Not yet, at least. I have been really, really lucky in that the shoe store has given me a few relief shifts here and there. It's odd how much I actually like selling shoes but I'm glad for that as well. I'll be heading in for a shift in a little bit. I'm taking a minute to get some coffee and breakfast before starting.

I left work last night and found I had a flat tire (thank you Ma and Dad for AAA Gold Card!!!!). Considering that I drive a Subaru this really sucks because if the tire can't be fixed then all four will have to be replaced. It's an all-wheel drive car so if one tire is worn differently than the rest then it will throw the differential off. It's like wearing one new and one old shoe. The guy that fixed my tire last night was a character: tall, cowboy boots, handlebar mustache and a Stetson hat. He was clearly timing himself and probably had the whole thing done in less than five minutes. Now my car and I are limping around town on a doughnut until I can get it fixed. I'm not sure how much that will cost and frankly I don't think I want to know yet.

Cheers,
NC

An Old Nemesis...

2008-11-06T10:00:00.003-07:00

I went for a second job interview on Tuesday. I put on a great suit, did my hair, applied a little lip gloss and *gasp* donned a pair of nylons. Such are the lengths I will go to earn a paycheck.... Anyway, I also prepared in my head a list of questions that I might be asked and then I answered them, just to practice. I recited to myself the answer to my least favorite question: "what would you say your greatest weakness is?". I came up with a list of questions I had about the company: how would I be evaluated? What is their turn over? Is the complimentary coffee in the break room from Farmers Brothers or Starbucks?

But when I got there I was led to a small room and presented with a three-page math test. Yeah. I was not prepared for this. I had gone there thinking I was going to be interviewed. Silly me.

Didn't this company believe in calculators? Didn't they see on my resume that I did in fact graduate from high school and college? Isn't that proof enough that I can do basic math? Why, I wanted to know, was I being faced with three black and white pages of potential humiliation? Screw up just one simple question that an elementary school kid could do and boom--you're done. I made some half-hearted joke that I have an English Lit degree. I smiled and pretended not to panic. I believe I even chimed "No problem!" as the woman interviewing me left the room. She left. I panicked.

I hate math! I have always hated math! Well, not always...I used to like it until I got to 4th grade. That was where I had a teacher who resembled a troll and had one hell of a case of halitosis (she could stink up a room with a single word--I kid you not). When we would grade our tests we had to call out in front of the whole class how many we got wrong. God help the kids who did poorly. With each bad mark the kids would send up a chorus of "Oooooooooo!" just so you knew that you sucked and your existence on this planet was being called into question. Ms. Troll would allow and therefore encourage the chastising. My grades suffered so my parents sent me to a nun at a freaking convent for tutoring, but she was even worse. She didn't carry a ruler, she just ate your soul.

And now here I was: grown up, wearing a suit and flipping through a math test. I had done just fine in life without this sort of thing. I grumbled, sighed, and even got a little flushed in my face. Somewhere in the back of my head I could hear Ms. Troll screaming with sick delight, "you'll never make in life if you can't master math!" That bitch even cackled.

So I completed the test and, with the exception of two questions, did just fine. But I was shaky, rattled and now off my usually confident game. If there was a math test, what else? Would they be calling in character witnesses? Asking to see my high school senior thesis? A cavity search? I mean, really! If they had already digressed me back to my self-conscious 11-year-old self, what was next? Maybe this was all part of their evil plan, I thought. They wanted to see how you did under pressure and then, THEN they would bring out the big questions. You know, the topics that actually pertain to who you are and what you bring to the job you are being considered for. Maybe they wanted to see me squirm...

I gathered myself and straightened my skirt. I would not be intimidated. I've done harder things than this, I thought. I've given presentations to boards, I've landed huge deals. Hell, my first sale on Saturday at the shoe store was over $600.00 and that was before I'd finished my morning coffee. I know I can do sales. I know I can do customer service. I am creative, I am quick, I am driven and I can play well with others, damnit. So no, Ms. Troll, you don't have to "master math" to make it in life. I got my chutzpah back and had the uncanny desire to track down the troll and tell her off.

I'm not sure if I'll be getting that job. This is odd for me because I've never interviewed for a position and not been hired. But not everybody fits in everywhere, as my dad so aptly pointed out. If we did the world would be a very boring, gray place.

So it's back to the drawing board for me. I've been combing through websites and writing cover letters with the best of them. I'm sure something will come along soon and as when I know where the next playground will be, I'll let you know.

Cheers,
NC

Song of the day: Breakable by Ingrid Michaelson

Fate

2008-10-30T08:47:00.003-06:00

On Monday I was officially laid off. This news came about ten minutes after hearing that my fallback job (shoes) was also not going to pan out because they too were going through a round of layoffs. Scary? Um...a little. I'd never been laid off before.

I was told that my last day would be Friday, October 31st.

So I went home, grabbed one of our homemade oatmeal stouts and headed for the garage. Because I knew my end at the magazine was just around the corner, I had already scheduled an appointment with a headhunter. Our first interview was for the next day, so even though I had only been laid off for about an hour, I was already in job search mode. I needed to clean up my resume, write a couple cover letters and find my interview suits to get ready. Of course, when I had left my old job in June of 2007 I had absolutely no intention to ever wear my old, heavy, constricting suits again. The only reason I had kept them was because they cost so much and I didn't want to be without. True to my nature, I had only kept them based on the patented Ma Chilton "just in case" philosophy. Begrudgingly, I pulled out my old clothes from my days in Eugene. I unfolded sweater sets, evaluated my conservative heels and wondered whether my old skirts would fit. Essentially, I was not happy to be elbow-deep in boring wool suits that had the distinct odor of moth balls. I slammed a few boxes on the ground. I stomped my foot. After a few angry minutes of digging, drinking and kicking, I scooped up my haul and, with some degree of consternation, deposited them on the laundry room floor.

Returning to the garage I dove into a box of books in search of my very professional looking black leather folder. More than anything, it's a prop for interviews. Sure it keeps my files and resumes in order, but basically it just looks good. As I was extracting the folder I came across my college text books. I was thumbing through them, remembering the days when I actually believed my guidance counselors when they said brightly/ignorantly, "you can do anything you want with an English lit degree!" Bullshit, I thought, as my eyes ran over a section of Milton's Paradise Lost. You most certainly cannot do anything. You can do a lot of things but "anything" is not one of them.

As I was just about to storm off into the house for another beer, Jason pulled up. Smiling and calm, he walked up to me with a dozen long stem red roses in one hand and a Costco-sized box of Dove chocolates in the other. He hugged me, told me it would all be okay and that we would get through this. I started to cry. He then walked me inside, sat me down and we spent the night eating pizza, drinking beer, playing dominoes and just taking it easy. I am a lucky, lucky girl.

I've sent my resume out to a few businesses in town and have managed to snag an interview for tomorrow. The job would be perfect for me and I'm really hoping I'll get it. But that is all I'm going to say because I don't want to jinx it. And as I've been bragging about my chocolate and rose toting boyfriend to anyone who will listen, he said he's happy to brag that even though his girl got laid off on a Monday she had a job interview lined up before the end of the week.

Take that, world--we're going to be just fine.

Cheers,
NC

Song of the day: Move Along by the All-American Rejects

A Brief Moment

2008-10-26T20:40:00.004-06:00

Well, the magazine I work for has been discontinued. That's right. Done. The rest of the company is still around, and will continue to grow and expand, but the magazine that I sold advertising for has been discontinued. Nothing official has happened with my job yet (and I probably shouldn't speculate about my fate on a public blog) but, just so you all know, this is what is happening in my life right now.

This all came to a head last week at the same time that my parents were here visiting. We'd had a great weekend with them. Jason took dad hunting on the ranch (the ranch is a cattle ranch near Red Lodge that is owned by the company Jason works for. They have a hydo project on the land so he is out there fairly often). Ma and I shopped, reviewed all relevant gossip and basically got a chance to just be. The four of us talked, laughed and ordered more than a few rounds. It's great to be able to hang out with your parents while getting drunk and talking shit over a game of dominos... And I mean that.

Anyway, family traditions aside, we made sure that Ma and Pa saw all the highlights: Virgina City, the town of Red Lodge, the Wild Bill Museum, Yellowstone (complete with a grizzly eating an elk while being circled by wolves), four-point bucks jumping over wooden fences at sunset in the snow, two of the hydro projects that Jason works on and downtown Bozeman. It was a great trip and I was so glad they came out.

I guess that's it for now. As soon as I know what my fate will be I'll let everyone else know.

Cheers,
NC

A Summer Recap

2008-09-19T22:09:00.004-06:00

Tonight I've found a rare quiet moment to get caught up on this blog and myself for that matter. It has been such a busy summer. Jason and I were trying to add up the thousands of miles we've driven this summer and I think we got lost somewhere after 5,000 (hey--he produces green energy for a living so don't even try to wag your finger at our carbon footprint). So what's the tally? Where have we been? Between the two of us, we've been to Oregon twice, White Fish, Salt Lake City, Great Falls three times and then drove to Seattle and flew from there to Hawaii. We've been home fewer weekends than we've been away. And we've also had a house guest or two, making the summer all that more enjoyable. And it has been so much fun, almost so that I'm a bit sad to see the summer end. But now, with the distinctive chill in the air and pumpkin motifs popping up in the grocery stores, I can honestly say that I'm looking forward to a cozy and maybe even quiet fall.

Tonight Jason is in Great Falls for his niece's birthday. I was at the synagogue for services tonight so I'll follow him there tomorrow for the rest of the weekend. We recently said goodbye to one of our roommates (the same roommate that accused my cat of pooping in his room) and the other two roommates are either on a trip or gone for the night. So strangely, I'm here alone for the first time in at least two months. It's been a challenge living with four other boys, a cat and occasionally a dog (long story about the dog--don't ask). The one roommate, a.k.a. The Perfect Roommate and/or Best Roommate Ever is so quiet and discreet that it's like he doesn't live here at all. He also pays on time, never causes a fuss, and when we do see him he's a pretty cool guy to talk to. The other roommate is a friend of Jason and I. He works for the Montana Conservation Corps so he's gone three weeks out of four. But when he is here, we have a great time cooking and hanging out together. It's sort of akin to being back in the dorms where ones home was also the center of their social life. And when Jason and I are both here, we're usually cooking, gardening, cleaning, watching a moving, talking, chasing the cat--basically keeping very busy. Needless to say, these quiet moments are very rare for all of us.

What's funny for me is that nights light these, where it's just me, good music, a glass of wine and the laptop used to be my standard evenings. It was easy to keep up on my writing and reading then. The routine was come home, eat, kick up my feet and start typing or grab a book. These days I actually have a social life and home isn't as quiet as it used to be. Not that I'm complaining--it's just startling to make the comparrison between then and now. I'm a lucky girl.

So besides lots of travel, parties, plans and activity, what did we do? Well, we went tubing on the Madison, ate lots of salads from our garden, swam with sea turtles in Hawaii, bbq'd our hearts out, made new friends, visited with my parents in Oregon, hung out with Chris in Maupin for an afternoon, wandered through Pike Place Market, perfected Thom Kha soup, saw the Bison with Jeff in Yellowstone, soaked in some great hot springs and watched plenty of suns set to the sound of bellowing donkeys. To sum it up, we had a great time.

Ma and Pa will be flying out next month to spend a week with Jason and I. Dad is looking forward to bird hunting with him at the ranch (Jason's company owns a ranch where they have a hydro project) and Ma is looking forward to some quality girl time. It will be great to be able to show them around Bozeman and to hang out with them some more.

Lately I've been attached to an album by Ethan Hipple & Podunk Road (http://www.ethanhipple.com/) circa 2005. It's called Prairie and from when I can tell, it's the only cd the group produced. That, and their myspace page hasn't been visited since 2007...BUT it's a fabulous collection of music. They do a gorgeous version of Wagon Wheel (Old Crow Medicine Show) that just splits me.

They also have this verse on one of their tracks: "I got the blues so bad one time I put my face in a permanent frown, but I'm feeling so much better I can cake walk into town." Well isn't that just the truth for me.

Cheers,
Nicole

Sunsets, Donkies and Strategic Pooping

2008-07-24T21:27:00.015-06:00

When I was in high school I used to sit on my parents front step and watch the sunsets. I'd usually go out at night after dinner, just before the mosquitoes started to get really bad. It was quiet and peaceful out there and I could hear myself think. I sat in a nice rocking chair we had given my dad one father's day and I could watch the sky turn pink and and pale peach through the haze of Ohio humidity. It was wonderful.

It's been a really long time since I've done that, but tonight after my walk I found myself sitting on our front stoop watching the sky turn colors again. At the end of our subdivision there is a little farm that hasn't sold out yet. Just about every night, without fail, the donkey who watches over the sheep and chickens will scream out his distinctive call. The first time he did it I nearly jumped off the ground from fright, but now it just seems soothing in a weird way. Within a few minutes of sitting down he shouted out his messy declaration that the day was done. His formality was a comfort.

So I sat there watching the sunset and just thought for a while. I could hear myself think and breath and I was relieved to have the space to do it in. There are five people, one dog and one cat living in this house these days. It's crowded to say the least. I like my space and my solitude. It's not that I'm anti-social, it's just that down time is important in my little world and there hasn't been much of it lately. Not that this is a bad thing. Jason and I have been enjoying the summer with lots of trips, bbq's and parties. It's been good. But if I'm not with him, then I'm at work. It doesn't leave a whole lot of time for curling up with a book and Fatty Cat, which is how I used to unwind in my single days.

And speaking of Roscoe, a.k.a, Fatty, Roo, Rooster and, most recently, Roscoski, he has settled into life in Montana just fine. He just occasionally takes issue with the dog. Oh yes--the dog. Leila is a small, three-pound, Pomeranian Jason adopted. She's sweet with tiny little marble eyes and a delicate, somewhat petite personality. Roscoe, on the other hand, is 20 pounds of opinionated, bossy, hungry fur. The two create quite a contrast. However, he has been a good cat since getting here regardless of the ill-founded accusation from one of my roommates that he pooped in his room. I maintain that it was Leila (the cat and dog poop looks similar--not that I'm looking that close...). But I will say that if that particular roommate ticked Roscoe off enough for him to poop on the carpet, (something that he has never done once in his five years of life) then whatever he did was probably bad enough to deserve that and more. In his day Roscoe has chewed on shoes, knocked breakables off the counters, unpotted/mauled/eaten house plants, attacked various pieces of furniture and drank out of the toilet bowl, but he has never once pooped out of spite. He has drug his butt across an ex-boyfriends pillow, but that is as close as he has come to using poop as a weapon. So again, I sincerely doubt that Roscoe was the culprit. If he could, I'm sure he'd sue for libel...

So there I was, on the step, thinking about cat vs. dog poop and the motives behind it. I watched the birds, listened to the Canadian geese and contemplated how nice it would be to befriend the pleasant lesbian couple across the street (they have two Subarus, a Smart Car, a cat that they walk on a leash and beautifully maintained flower beds--why not?). I also thought about the garden which was pummeled to a bloody green pulp by that awful hail storm the other night (the lettuce and corn was all that survived) and the pock marks on my car from said hail storm and the nauseating fact that it will cost a few hundred bucks to fix. I contemplated all that work that is waiting for me tomorrow at my desk and did my best to try to calculate how much I could get done before the week was out. I thought about taking a second job again to have a little bit more money in my bank account. And on the topic of money my brain wondered down the path of assessing my not so strong assets and wondering if I will ever really get ahead. And then my eye caught a glimpse of the lovely rock I took with me from Sinks Canyon, Wyoming as a souvenir of my time in the mountains. I picked it up and turned it over and over in my palm until my mind started spinning around the man who disappeared last fall. I helped with that search and it a was major effort, but they couldn't find him before winter hit. They found him last month at the base of cliff. And then, of course, I started thinking about people I miss and also some people I don't. And then I started going through that list in my head of all the people I need to meet at the trade show next month. I was ticking through the appointment list and making mental notes of what I need to do to prepare until I inevitably switched to the "what to wear" category of worry that comes with being a woman and before I knew it I was mentally packing my suitcase.

Me? Oh just fine. Really. Fine and freaking dandy.

So I sat there, stared at that gorgeous, gentle sunset and did my best to breath. And then I thought, "I am an adult, this is life, and every single person in these lovely craftsman style homes has worries similar or even worse than mine. Nicki, put on your big girl panties and get over it."

And then a blue heron flew across the sky. For whatever reason, these creatures have always seemed like guardians to me. Tall, handsome and so full of grace without a hint of smugness they are a mark of calm elegance. He was alive, high above it all, gliding through all that ethereal pink.

Down the street the donkey cried out again. He's a persistent bastard, I'll give him that, but he's right: The day is over and it's time to give it up and go to bed.

Cheers,
NC

Song of the day: Apologies by Grace Potter and the Nocturnals

Maybe Montana

2008-07-20T23:29:00.004-06:00

Hello All,

I have a bit of announcement to make. It's been a long time coming, but being a fairly un-trusting individual (a couple years in corporate sales will do that to a person) I wasn't willing to post about it right away. But now, after oh, a whole freaking month, I feel it's high time I made it official: I, Nicole HAVE A REAL JOB. Yes, it's true--a legitimate, paying, health insurance included gig. No longer am I trapped in intern-hood at the age of 26. I am now employed. I know, I was shocked, too. But here I am: Employed, coupled, and living in Montana. And, if you can believe it, the craziest thing of all is that I AM HAPPY.

I believe the phrase you're searching for is "holy shit".

So here it is: the end of a year. I started on June 17, 2007 driving like a mad woman out of Oregon headed toward Wyoming to start a new life. I wanted freedom, anonymity, a fresh start and a new career. I wanted a better, healthier and happier life and frankly, I didn't care what I was giving up in the fabled, mythical land called Eugene, Oregon. Quite suddenly I went from being an employed pre-adult working in corporate sales to being a publications intern/cocktail waitress/dog and house sitter in Wyoming. Odd...to say the least.

Then I headed north, against better judgement (that judgement being to go back to Oregon for grad school instead of yet another internship) and found myself in the painfully frozen town of Bozeman, MT. And if there was a theme to go with my first six months in Montana, it would have been "rough starts". My internship, finding a second job, getting health and car insurance, finding a social life (never did quite get that one off the ground), my living situations and even my relationship with Jason, were all bumpy and painful or unpleasant to begin with. By February 15th I decided to throw in the towel and planned to leave on March 15th. But life happened and I ended up in Ohio helping to take care of my Mom and Dad and I completely forgot about plans to leave. I came back to Bozeman on the 14th exhausted, but somehow rejuvenated by gratitude. On the 15th, the day that I was supposed to be leaving Bozeman in a trail of frozen dust and neurotic cynicism, I started dating Jason. It's funny how life stepped in front of me the way it did. Sort of like a train hitting a brick wall... Anyway, after coming back from Ohio I wasn't going anywhere. And then in June the magazine I was interning with offered me a job and suddenly, I was living and working Bozeman, MT.

The day after meeting with my bosses over coffee and cheesecake I woke up with the strange sensation that I had been given a second chance. I was happy. HAPPY. Me, the girl who has been hopping from one fit of melancholy to the next since infancy, was content. Sure, I still had my daily freak outs and ranting fits (just ask Robin), but all and all, I was good. When I had left Oregon I had gone with the desire to land a job at an outdoor magazine. I wanted to be in a town that wasn't too big or too small; that had art, culture, entertainment and the outdoors spilling out its seems. I wanted to be in a place filled with natural beauty and surrounded by trails. I wanted to find a guy and fall in love. And much to my surprise, I found it.

That's not to say that I've reached some sort of pinnacle in life and that I'm done building and changing who I am. There are new goals that I'm working toward now. It will be interesting to see where I end up, but if I can come this far in a year I'm fairly hopeful for where I will be another twelve months.

So here I am. I live in Bozeman and work as the advertising/publications sales manager for an outdoor magazine. I also do some writing and editing for them so I'm not completely out of the literary industry. I have a desk in front of a window and co-workers that I not only like, but enjoy working with. I like going to work in the morning, but I also like coming home at night. It's great to finally have that balance.

So now what? I used to post to this blog every day (it's easy to do when you don't have a social life and it's disgustingly cold outside) but life got busy and then it got weird. I needed some time off to reevaluate who I am, where I am and just what this blog is about. And now that I've done that I think I have a better grasp on it and on me. I'm not the same person I used to be, but I'm not that different either. Life is just altered and new.

Lucky me.

NC

Shacked Up Domestic Bliss

2008-06-15T08:48:00.003-06:00

Last week a friend asked me what my days were like. "So what are you doing tomorrow? Tell me everything. What do your days look like now?" he asked me. And as I rattled off the details of my day, from the getting up around 7Am to fiddling with my little red french press at work, to stumbling on home, I realized just how different my life is from anything it has ever been. How strange. So what does my life look like now that I've settled in Montana?

This morning I'm sitting in the relative quiet of the house, sipping coffee with the windows and doors open. It SNOWED last week, so the mild and warm 54 degrees is a welcomed and pleasant change. After all, it is June so you would think we would be lapping up the heat by now, but not in Montana and not this spring. My roommates and Jason are all still sleeping upstairs so it's quiet except for the click of the clock and the birds outside. Jason put up a bird feeder yesterday while I was at work at the shoe store, so now little multi-colored birds are singing his praises from the edge of the yard. For my birthday, a friend of mine had given me a hanging plant for the porch, but a family of birds took up residence and laid five eggs (originally there were five blue eggs, but somehow that switched to two blue and one larger white one with brown spots. hmmmm.....), which then hatched into three baby birds. Jason now says that his bird feeder is feeding the parents, and he checks on the nest every day. The plant, of course, has since gone toes-up, but the baby birds are doing well.

Our veggie garden is sprouting up, almost so fast that I can see it grow. We planted it a couple weeks back with everything from beans to lettuce to watermelon along with the standard assortment of tomatoes, spinach and the requisite zucchini and squash. It's 13 x 50 feet so before I know it I'll be sorting, cleaning and storing vegetables at a pace I may or may not be able to keep up with. Last night we had our friends Max and Ariel over for dinner. Max (short of Massimiliano--he immigrated to the US from Italy when he met Ariel) stood there admiring the garden with me and remarked that when the basil and tomatoes comes it we'll have to call him over so that he can show us how to make 'some real Italian food'. Max and Ariel just found out this week that she's pregnant with a boy, so this fall there will be a little guy arriving that we'll all get to meet this fall.

Jason has woken up since I started writing this post. He's going through his bird book trying to figure out who is making the sing-song "heee-heee" noise in our yard. Apparently it's a Starling and it has friends. The bird family on our porch is of the House Finch variety, and earlier this morning he saw a Red-Wing Blackbird. Apparently we'll be going back to the Home Depot today (they're beginning to know us there) to buy a birdbath. In addition to that project, we'll be painting, spackleing, doing laundry, cooking out, cleaning, weeding, hiking, baking and vacuuming just to name a few things.

So today, that is my day. Simple, calm and lovely. Life is good.

Cheers,
NC

Song of the day: You Have Stolen My Heart by Dashboard Confessional

Rainy With a Chance of Damp

2008-05-21T21:31:00.002-06:00

It's raining in Bozeman today (and will apparently keep going the rest of the week according to the weather forecast) and everything just looks so green. Bright, springtime lime green that you see just before things get hot. Last night we had high winds that were strong enough to flip the hot tub cover up into the air, fold it in half, slam it against the wall and then crash back down. The bowl of chicken I had placed there just moments before was also thrown through the air and we now have bbq sauce halfway up the side of the house. Yeehaw.

On Monday Jason and I went to see Barack Obama speak at the Field House here in Bozeman. It was crowded and hot since we were in the very last row near the ceiling, but we were still able to see him fairly clearly. He's a great public speaker and the crowd was all hyped up to see him. There was even an annoying group of people who was each holding a 6-foot tall Styrofoam letter, spelling out "BARACK 08". Of course they obscured the view for the fifteen rows behind them (us included), causing me to consider at one point just how hard I'd have to hit one of those letters before it broke.

And before going in to the auditorium I actually ran in to someone from high school--which is crazy for me considering I went to high school in Ohio. As I was standing in line waiting to go in I spotted Katy Red, a girl who was a year ahead of me in high school. We had a few frenzied moments of "how are you!" closely followed by a unison, "what are you doing in Montana?!". I got her phone number and I'll call to see if she has time for coffee one of these days. For those of you who know Katy, she's been in Montana for a couple years now, but will be going to South America in two months to finish grad school. Weird, huh?

Oh--and the shoe store totally kicked the coffee shop's butt in kick ball on Sunday. Though I have to say that I don't think we would have won without Jason. And considering I actually MISSED kicking ball once, it was dang good thing that he was there to make up for it. After the game we came home and took a ride around town on his motorcycle at sunset. Yep--you heard me. I had my very first motorcycle ride and it was AWESOME. *And yes, Ma, I did wear a helmet* To those of you whom I have ever scolded or nagged about riding a motor cycle, I apologize. They are just a great as you said they were and more.

In the meantime it's just life as usual...sort of. My internship is up at the end of June and hopefully I'll find out what's next in the near future. I'm nervous but excited. It will be nice to know what the next step is.

I've also decided to rescind my previous declaration to post every day. I just can't live up to it right now. So, I'll be posting as often as possible and doing it in a way that is actually meaningful as opposed to frenzied and crappy or not at all.

Okay--time to fall over and go to sleep.

Cheers,
NC

Breezy Sunday

2008-05-18T16:50:00.003-06:00

Today has been my first day off of work and at home in a month. Actually, it might be longer than a month. I love my Sundays. It's the one day a week that I'm not at work and the chance to sleep in, clean, cook something nice and drink coffee is a fabulous luxury. It's a time to breath and I love it.

Today Jason and I have been doing laundry and taking it fairly easy. I caught up with a friend on the phone and started making some plans for the end of June. It's been quiet and peaceful, and since it's a windy Montana afternoon the breeze is whipping through the house. There is a kick ball game that the shoe store I work for is in later this afternoon, and both Jay and I will be going. I'm terrible at sports, but apparently he is a kick ball bad ass so he'll just have to make up for my falterings. Just add it to the list of reasons why I like him so much.

Cheers,
NC

Maybe Spring?

2008-05-16T09:21:00.002-06:00

It snowed last week. Yep. Snow. And the warmest it's been is somewhere around sixty degrees. We're also high in elevation here so at night things can get pretty chilly. However, people still buy tee-shirts and flip flops as if summer just might happen so I've been holding out some degree of hope. Yesterday as I was driving home I looked up at the mountains and they were actually green. GREEN, as in not snow covered, or dried a putrid shade of dead grass beige. Nope. These hillsides are awake. And then there are all those flowers poking up here and there. They suggest that the weather should be warm and sunny, but somehow it's been cold and gray. Jason even went so far as to plant cheery little flowers in the garden. And yes, I do know that summer will eventually get here and all I have to do is be patient. But still, I can't help be surprised that today is sunny with a hint of warm.

Cheers,
NC

Hair Balls

2008-05-14T22:27:00.003-06:00

I have no idea why, but this photo made me laugh hysterically:

K...now I'm going to fall over and go to sleep before I end up snoring on the laptop. Such is a hazard of writing late at night in bed.

Cheers,
NC

Title and Such

2008-05-13T21:28:00.002-06:00

I am not a fan of titles. I can write an article just fine but coming up with a catchy, all-encompassing, this-is-what-this-article-is-about heading that will draw readers to actually stop and read what I've written? No. Not so much. This past week at work I've been trying like hell to come up with a title for a new column I'm working on but just about every idea I've had has been nixed by my boss. And rightfully so--most of them have been crap.

And I'm not a huge fan of subtitles either. All of my previous editors will gladly attest to this. Her? Oh she was alright, but damn it if she couldn't name what she'd written to same her life. However, I am good at throwing up lousy suggestions for editors to see explode on the floor. That way their minds can pick through the scraps for something that might inspire them to come up with a phrase which isn't overused, cliché , obnoxious, abstract or dull. How nice for them.

But now here I am, in the comfort and security of my own blog, and I have no freaking clue what to subtitle to this thing. I'm sure it will hit me eventually. Something will pop into my head, or someone will say something at the coffee shop and it will start me thinking. It'll just tap me on the shoulder and there it will be. But for now I've got nothing.

Cheers,

Uh huh...

2008-05-12T09:17:00.005-06:00

Hi All,

Have you ever gone so long without talking to a friend or relative that you feel embarrassed to write or call so you just don't? You want to know how they're doing and to catch up on what life has been like, but you just feel so dang awkward about how long it's been that you just don't make that move to call. Yep. That's been me with this blog. However, I have heard rumblings from those who have been in the habit of reading this blog that I had better get back in the swing of daily posts. And by rumblings, I mean this email from Robin:

"You sure you haven't run off to Vegas to get swallowed by a giant hole with Jason while joining a motorcycle gang, donning those funny Groucho Marx glasses and changing your name to Esmeralda? My jonesin' for my daily dose of Nicki Moments must be met!"

Uh huh. Well, I agree. And now that things have sort of settled down in my life I am going to go back to the daily posts of this blog, but it's going to be a little different. Life has been changing a lot for me and because of that I haven't had the time to write, nor have I known what to write about. This blog has been about my nomadic life since I left Oregon last June. It's been about a girl who is trying to become a writer, works 50+ hours a week and mostly hangs out by herself in her off hours with a book, laptop, glass of wine and her roommate's dogs. It's been a single girl blithely living a crazy year of her twenties and...yatta...yatta...yatta... But now life is different and so am I. So what is the blog about now?

As most of you know, Jason and I moved in together on April 21st, just a couple days after Courtney moved to Bozeman. I've gone from being a single girl with a next-to-nothing social life, to a girlfriend who is quickly meeting all of her boyfriend's family and friends as well as hanging out with Courtney and building a social life with other new and exciting people. Life is nothing like it was a month ago and it just keeps changing. But that doesn't mean I get to stop carving out a little bit of time to write each day. So even though I'm not sure what my life is right now I'm just going to keep writing anyway. And when I figure out what the plan is, I'll certainly let you know.

The subtitle and header will be changing as will my bio and maybe my photo (that head shot is at least two years old now). It just doesn't seem to fit anymore. In the meantime, I need to get back to other projects, though I will be posting an update of what I've been doing, who I've met and what I've been working on these last few weeks either tonight or tomorrow in the early AM.

See you tomorrow,
NC

Song of the day: Girls and Boys by Ingrid Michaelson

Weekly Update?

2008-04-29T20:26:00.008-06:00

Hi everyone,

No, I haven't been abducted by aliens, run off to Vegas with Jason or been swallowed by a giant hole in Iowa (coincidentally in the same town as my uncle--hi, Uncle Jerry!!!). I just happen to be 'living the dream' in BozeAngeles wondering, ever so sparingly, just how the hell I got here in the first place. I don't know about you, but life confuses me.

Anyway, my birthday was fanfreakingtastic. Jason and I had a party at the house where a tidy group of people gathered to eat cheese and drink wine. It was simple, tasteful and just right. I was really struck by how different my birthday was from last year. The group of people I got to celebrate with this year are all relatively new to my life. They're also a tiny bit older, mostly married, and are either parents or will be soon. In attendance were two couples who are expecting and Addie (a friend from work) and her little boy who happens to be a truck-loving three-year-old. Last year there wasn't a single married couple to be found, let alone kids. We were also grilling burgers on my spiffy new tabletop grill and drinking beer in the backyard of my apartment. My how quickly things change. But this is all very good change and I was very happy. I will admit though that I was SUCH a spoiled girl. Here a few pictures from the partay:

Two dozen pink long stem roses from Jason.

Friends at the party

Me and the boy:-P

So what else have I been up to? Well, probably a bit more than I realize. The other day I was in the kitchen cooking dinner, completely lost in my own little world, when my cell phone began to ring. I started looking for it, first in my purse and then at the bar, essentially walking in circles until I FINALLY realized that it was in my back pocket the whole stinking time. Yep. That's how busy I've been. And sleep? Sleep is just a myth (sort of like spring in Montana--the forecast calls for more snow tonight). When I have been able to actually fall asleep and stay asleep for more than twenty minutes I end up sleep walking. The other night I came out of the bathroom after having looked for and failed to find shorts, was startled by Jason, yelled "meh!" at him and then kicked the Cheat (or at least the stuffed version of him) across the room. Good times. And amazingly, Jason still likes me.

But now that things are settling into a bit of routine HOPEFULLY I will, too. In retrospect, I did know that April was going to be a tad busy, but I really had no idea how much life was going to change. This weekend Jason and I are going to visit his cousin and a friend in a Whitefish. It's going to be quite a drive, six hours apparently, but I'm really looking forward to finally seeing Glacier National Park, and what people keep telling me is the prettiest part of Montana. I'm hoping the trip will clear my head a bit and give me a chance to relax and just be.

I'm a lucky girl.

Cheers,
NC

Song of the day: Breakable by Ingrid Michaelson

It's My Birftday!

2008-04-26T23:14:00.001-06:00

Okay, so that return to normalcy thing didn't really happen. Oh well. I'm happy :-)

Life is so good.

Cheers,
NC

Song of the day: Han Cart Bowy by Perfect

Normalcy?

2008-04-23T21:38:00.003-06:00

Hello All,

I'm sorry I haven't posted in a few days. Things have been...well...insane. It's a cheap word and possibly overused, but it's accurate. Ms. Courtney came to town on Sunday afternoon and since then it's been a whirlwind of resettling and getting reacquainted. In fact, as I write this I'm falling asleep. I'll give a full update on everything (work, friends, boyfriends, etc...) tomorrow when I'm a bit more lucid and not completely decaffeinated.

Cheers,
NC

Song of the day: Beer for my Horses by Toby Keith and Willie Nelson

Flowers

2008-04-20T20:25:00.003-06:00

Jason surprised me with a bright, sunny bunch of daisies today. They made me happy so I thought I'd post a photo of them here. I know it's simple, but they're lovely.

Cheers,
NC

Frilly Skirt

2008-04-19T22:45:00.002-06:00

Occasionally I like to dress up and look cute. I am a girl, after all. But when I left Oregon I only took one skirt, and one pair of black pants with me. No suits, no nice sweaters and definitely no high heels. But today I was out shopping with Jason and came upon this adorable little white shirt with a black floral pattern all over it. It's really light and airy and when I put it on I just felt good. And because it was only $12.99 I felt the need to buy the matching blouse, too. It was weird, but it felt so good to dress up. And maybe if I keep wearing spring-type clothes spring will actually get here.
I know there is a flaw in that logic somewhere, but I'm not interested in finding it...not yet.

Cheers,
NC

Song of the day: The Way I Am by Igrid Michaelson

Drug of Choice

2008-04-18T22:18:00.000-06:00

Still sick and still slightly cranky. And now my brand new bottle of NyQuill and I are going to bed.

Yay for a rockin' Friday night.

Cheers (and tomorrow will be better),
NC